Chandra Clarke's Blog, page 8

Be Your Own Man

A long time ago, British researcher Gerald Lincoln announced that he suspected that men might be subject to a medical condition known as ‘irritable male syndrome.’

I suspect we haven’t heard much about this since because I’m betting Lincoln was buried in a pile of 23,576,654 emails from women around the world that said: ‘No kidding, Sherlock.’

Another 14,357,542 emails probably politely suggested that Lincoln rename the condition to ‘irritating male syndrome,’ as that would be more accurate.

Lincoln based his theory on his studies of animals, including Indian elephants, reindeer, red deer, and mouflon (sheep). He found that as their testosterone levels fell, male animals became moody and withdrawn, striking out irrationally.

Now, to be fair, it could be that these creatures were irritable because some bloke in a lab coat kept running in to check their testosterone level. Because this is a family publication, I won’t discuss how Lincoln measured testosterone, but let’s just say it might explain why he studied sheep more often than large, easily enraged elephants.

However, let’s assume Lincoln was on to something. Are there similarities between irritable men and irritable rams? We’ll compare:

Rams: When angry, will do something irrational like run headfirst into a tree.

Men: When angry, will do something irrational like punch a wall.

Rams: Will signal their displeasure by bleating angrily.

Men: Will signal their displeasure by calling the referee on TV nasty names.

Ram: When in a bad mood, will go sulk in a corner of the pasture. When a ewe comes over to ask what’s wrong, he’ll avoid eye contact and say nothing.

Men: When in a bad mood, will retreat to the garage. When his wife comes out to ask what’s wrong, he’ll avoid eye contact and say: ‘Nothing.’

Rams: Wooly all over.

Men: Hairy all over.

So, it appears that Lincoln’s theory stands up to rigorous scientific scrutiny. I’m curious as to why we haven’t heard very much about this potential issue.

Actually, no, I’m not curious. I know why it hasn’t gotten a lot of press: Because what this implies is, men can be governed by their hormones.

Men have tried to claim this about women this for centuries, probably as far back as the cave days:

MRS. UGH: Argle! You have left your underfur all over the cave again. How many times I got to clean it up? You drive me crazy!

MR. UGH: Oh oh. You angry. Must be dat time of month again huh?

MRS. UGH: No! I’m just sick and tired of …

MR. UGH: There, there [patting her head]. Look, I just go over to visit Bargle. Be back in, um… few days.

Things had not improved much by the 20th century:

MAN 1: Give women the vote? Good lord, what a horrible idea. Women are far too emotional to make any sort of decisions. And can you imagine what sort of dither they’d be in if an election happened to land on their special day?’

MAN 2: Indeed. Next thing you know, they’ll want to run for public office.

MAN 1: [Shudder]. Perish the thought. We’d have prime ministers going around bombing other countries just because they were in a bad mood or something.

The ultimate irony here is that Lincoln’s theory about hormones has come full circle to bite men in their wooly regions. If both men and women are supposedly hormonal, at least women can claim to be predictably so, whereas a man can be irrational and crabby at any time, without warning. This is why lots of women wear t-shirts that say: ‘Sometimes I wake up grumpy, and sometimes I let him sleep in.’

Of course, we could do something radical like take mental health issues for both men and women seriously and devote some serious time and money into investigating and treating them. In fact, I’d say this is our second biggest issue of the 21st century, right behind climate change.

Why do I think that, you ask?

I mean, have you seen the comments on social media lately?

Image credit: Canva

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Five Interesting Things – March 2022

Hey folx! It’s time for the March 2021 edition of 5 Interesting Things. It’s a short round up of things I’ve found that are: potentially actionable, inspiring, thought-provoking. Let’s gooo!

The Future Forest Company – A lot of us live urban lives these days, so we might not have much, if any room to plant a tree. If that’s the case, you can use this organization or others like it to get trees planted where there is room. You’ll be helping to reduce CO2 loads, providing habitat for animals and insects, and generally making things cooler and greener.

Male Fertility – The press has devoted a lot of ink and pixels to the idea of a male fertility crisis. This article suggests that there really isn’t one. If nothing else, this piece demonstrates why continued study of an issue is important to refining our understanding of complicated subjects.

Piddling Concerns – Although this is possibly too much information, an adult on a typical Western diet urinates about 500 liters a year, enough to fill three standard bathtubs. Urine is also full of full of nitrogen, potassium and phosphorus, which plants need to grow. Rather than flush all that away, researchers are looking at ways to safely recycle your piddle into fertilizer. It would save farmers input costs, and cut sewage treatment plant use down.

Volcano Snails – Yes, you read that right, volcano snails. Apparently, these things live around hydrothermal vents in the Indian ocean, and have — get this — iron shells.

5G and the IoT – The subject of a lot of really stupid conspiracy theories, the 5G technology being rolled out this year is going to make things very interesting in the next decade. It will enable a lot of what we’re calling the “Internet of Things.” That is, objects connected to the Internet and exchanging data. One use case would be sensors embedded in bridges, which would enable us to check their condition remotely and address structural issues before fail like this one did. If you have never heard of the IoT, now is the time to brush up, as it will be affecting your life very soon.

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Freedom Convoys?

Like many Canadians, I’ve spent the last few weeks being very distracted by a movement billing itself as a “Freedom Convoy.” For those of you who aren’t familiar, some truckers who were unhappy with vaccine requirements for border crossings decided to roll a convoy into the nation’s capital and demand that all pandemic-related mandates and restrictions be removed. The movement morphed into a three-week occupation of the capital and blockades of several border crossings before being broken up by police.

There are any number of reasons for this convoy which have been covered in depth elsewhere: frustration fueled by inconsistent and sometimes inexplicable policies that in some jurisdictions seem based more on politics than public health; outright disinformation and social media echo chambers; concerns about civil liberties, some of which are legit, while others are based on ignorance of what the Charter of Rights actually says; and finally general frustration about the pandemic. It’s been ongoing since March 2020. We’re all tired and fed up.

There is one other reason that I think we should explore, especially because it might be a primary driver of many other issues in society right now: humans need purpose.

I say this because I watched a snippet on Twitter of a guy filming the Ottawa protest. He had his two young sons with him, and one of the boys briefly complained that his legs hurt. The father gave them a lengthy talk about ignoring pain and being resilient, using terms like sacrifice, how real men should behave, and fighting for freedom. Whatever your feelings about the protest itself, it’s quite clear that he genuinely felt that he was Doing Something Big.

A lot of us are lacking that right now. Our grandparents and great-grandparents fought en masse in the horrendous world wars, or if they weren’t directly involved in combat, worked ‘on the home front’ in some way or another. The fifties, sixties and seventies had the the Cold War and the communist scare, the Civil Rights Movement, the hippie peace movement, the Korean War and the Vietnam War, the race to the moon.

Obviously, we don’t want any more great wars, or indeed wars of any kind, if we can avoid them. They don’t give purpose so much as they consume a generation and they are hugely destructive. What’s happening in Ukraine is horrifying and could all too easily spill over into a wider conflict.

And obviously, there are still more than enough problems left to solve in the world. But many of these feel huge and intractable, or are only solvable by highly trained specialists.

I’m very concerned about plastic pollution for example, but my refusal to buy a plastic bottle of Coke doesn’t even register against sales of 1.9 billion servings per day.

Civil rights and social justice? I do my best every day, and while the ultimate goal is very clear, on some days it’s hard to see what the short to medium term victory conditions are and how we achieve them.

The fight against cancer? Since I’m not an oncologist and I don’t have the talent to be one, the best I can do is donate. Yay me.

I’m reminded of the speech by the Tyler Durden character in Fight Club (movie version):

Man, I see in Fight Club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables – slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars, but we won’t. We’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.

None of this is helped by the feeling that many of our institutions seem completely incapable of solving our problems either. The pandemic is exhibit A: Two years in and multi-billions of dollars of spending later, my home province’s response to COVID case increases as recently as this past December was still to randomly shut down various sectors of the economy and hope for the best. It was like watching someone repeatedly reboot their computer when what they needed were several software updates.

Actually, it’s worse than that: it’s like watching your surgeon prep for your procedure by practicing on the Operation® game board, and blaming someone else every time the buzzer goes off.

And what happens when you have entire sections of society that feel rootless, purposeless, and angry? You get moral panics. Authoritarians and demagogues start becoming popular. Grifters and charlatans make bank. You see a rise in conspiracy theories because it might actually be more comforting to think that our institutions are merely evil rather than catastrophically incapable.

How do we solve this without going through yet another bloody cycle of anacyclosis? My suggestion would be for governments to set up (and fund) a positive challenge that everyone could participate in.

To my mind, our best bet for this would be what I’m going to call Wilding (which is not a term original to me), but could be called anything: Earth Restoration, Stewardship, Mega Conservation whatever.

Most people can do things like plant trees, shrubs and plants (and those that can’t might be able to start seedlings, sort and prep seeds etc); people with a bit more knowledge can pull invasives and help with maintenance; experts could help decide what plants and animals to reintroduce to a plot of land. Governments could use it to create jobs; the rich could donate land for tax breaks. We have methods now for quickly growing diverse forests, reverse desertification, and restoring prairies. We also need to start picking up garbage and cleaning up our waterways.

Of course, a lot of this work is happening now, but in small projects, many of them underfunded and lacking warm bodies to get hard work done. We need a massive, coordinated global effort to restore the planet, fast.

It has the potential to have bipartisan appeal. Because even if climate change isn’t immediately apparent in your own back yard, you might be concerned about dwindling fish and game stocks, our natural heritage, and the beauty of your countryside. If we do it in a thoughtful, consultative way, it has the potential to mend some fences with our Indigenous populations. It can be both urban and rural; it can involve all three levels of government.

But most of all, it’s something the average person can do, especially young men, who seem to have energy and passion to burn. Radicalization is a thing that happens; we’ve seen it over and over throughout history.

Why not deliberately channel it into something positive for a change?

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Local Government

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.

– Margaret Mead

In my last piece on the environment, we talked about how if we want to effect real change, we need to push for system-level change.

We’re going to start with local government.

Why? Two reasons:

Your local, municipal-level government is the one that is going to be (or already is) hardest hit by environmental problems, and the related social problems. Polluted water? A problem for your local water treatment plant. Flooding? Your local EMS teams. Heat waves? Also your local EMS teams. Terrible air quality? Your local hospitals, overcrowded and struggling. Too much trash? Your tax bill, inflated by waste management fees.Your local government is the one you have the most direct access to, especially if you live in a smaller community.

So, how can we get systemic change at the local level?

First, pick a single issue and a desired outcome. Yes, there are a lot of things you could try to fix, but if you approach your local government with a laundry list you’ll get exactly nowhere. One thing at a time.

Here are some suggested issues and desired outcomes:

Plastic pollution: Ban the use of any plastic item (or even all single-use plastic items in your municipality). Sometimes people laugh at plastic straw or plastic bag bans as being silly, but every time one of these goes into effect, it shrinks the market for plastic products, and sends a message that we’re fed up with plastic pollution.Air pollution: ‘No car’ zones in your municipality. This reduces air pollution, increases use of public transportation, and starts forcing your city planners to think in terms of making your city more walkable or better for bikes. (This also improves health outcomes). Electrified transportation infrastructure: Are there enough car chargers in your city? Are there by-laws in place to prevent fossil cars from parking in charging spots? Are there by-laws in place to help condo and apartment dwellers secure charging spots? Are your public transit options based on renewable energy?Electricity supply: Has your local utility upgraded to renewable energy or is it still burning coal? Are you allowed to set up your own microgrid or is that against the law?Trash: Does your municipality have an organic waste (composting) system? Is recycling collected more often than trash? How much stuff can be recycled in your city?Native vs invasive plants: Does your city have any by-laws about what plants the local nurseries can sell? If they’re not selling native plants can you at least get a ban on harmful, invasive plant sales?Invasive plants part two: What steps is your city taking to tackle invasives like phragmites, dog strangling vine, knotweed (or whatever is a problem in your region)?

How to Take Action

There are three ways you can take action at the local government level.

Email your representatives. Email them all, either all at once, or one per week. (Put it in your calendar!) Describe the problem, describe your solution, show how your solution would benefit to the taxpayer. Forward news stories from other cities where your solution has been successfully implemented. If you can work out which bureaucrats and front line workers would be responsible for implementing your solution, email them too. Form an action group! Get a bunch of people emailing councillors, attending meetings, circulating a petition, chanting in front of city hall, and so on. Remember, there’s strength in numbers! (Pro tip for getting other people on board: Invite them personally, don’t just put out a general call.) Run for office. This might sound daunting, but you just need to remember that there’s nothing particularly special about the people who have run for office before. You don’t even have to win a seat (although obviously it’s better if you do). Running for council gives you the chance to go door to door to talk to people about your issue and get them on board.

Remember: be specific. Don’t just talk in general terms about zero waste or climate change. Give your local council something they can action. Give them something that would make them look good to voters.

What issue are you going to approach your council about? Comment below.

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The Final Frontier

The alarm rings. Hop in the shower, make breakfast, bundle the kids off to school (or get them set up for virtual, or whatever), head to work, answer the phone, email, punch that clock, come home, make supper, take the kids to ball practice, go to that club meeting, watch TV, fall into bed, but . . .

. . . have you ever stopped to look up? Or, as the Friendly Giant used to say, waaaaay up? We’re often reminded to stop and smell the roses. How often are we told to pause and glance at the stars?

It’s easy to forget the fact that we live on a planet — that is, a single world in a universe of thousands, probably millions of other planets. There’s things to do and people to see, and before you know it, you’re wrapped up in your own life, your own time, on your own small patch of Earth. Who’s got time to think of rockets when the boss is breathing down your neck?

I paused last week to look up — at Mars, and the view was incredible. In case you missed it, Perseverance has been busy. This rover allows NASA to take pictures, examine the soil, and test the air of the far away planet. Think of it: on a planet thousands of kilometres away, a robot took a picture, and within hours, I had a copy of it on my home computer. A crystal clear photo of an eerie, ruggedly beautiful landscape. Isn’t technology wonderful?

Yes, I admit, I’m a space junkie. I spent one entire weekend hoping some Martian would pick up the receiver on the Pathfinder, one of the first Mars missions, and say “Hello, Domino’s Pizza? I’d like to try out that thirty minute delivery guarantee of yours.” Or that the Sojourner would catch a glimpse of a Martian family  packing their bags, saying “Dear God, the humans have found us, there goes the neighbourhood.”

Actually, I’d settle for any data that would shake us up a little, because we’ve been ignoring outer space for far too long. These past few months have been full of space things in the popular media, mostly negative comments about billionaires and … anatomically suggestive rockets. But usually, we ignore the subject. The space shuttle is up again? Ho hum. Comet visible in the sky? Snooze. Even when there is a real‑life drama occurring — like the accident on the Mir space station — the world yawns, and tunes into the ball game.

We really should spend more time — and yes, money — on space though. Those ball games come in clearly because of those satellites we lob into the sky — and those same devices warn us of tornadoes, blizzards and other nasties. Data collected from experiments in space is teaching us how to preserve our environment, and how our own bodies work. Money spent on the space program is good for the economy too — because it takes hundreds of scientists, engineers, administrators and even janitors and cafeteria workers, to put a ship in space.

We should also look to space because someday, we’ll have to move there. Assuming we survive climate change and whatever other self-inflicted stupidity we dream up, we need to ensure the long term survival of the species by going multi-planet. The chances of being taken out by a large rock from space are not zero… just ask the dinosaurs.

More than anything else, we need a vision, a dream, something to strive for, as a nation, as a race of people. Something to take our minds of our everyday problems, to put the excitement back into our workaday lives. Learn more about it, talk to your kids about it. There is a way for everyone to be involved in space exploration, even ordinary citizens like you and me.

We haven’t been to the moon in decades. It’s time we looked up, looked all the way up. It’s time we reached for those stars. 

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It’s the System, Man

  One’s got to change the system, or one changes nothing.  — George Orwell, Keep the Aspidistra Flying Not long ago, The Guardian⁠1 reported on a study that suggested that just 100 companies were responsible for 71 percent of greenhouse gas emissions. 100 companies. 71 percent. Which sounds like an actionable bit of knowledge. Just […]

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Suspicions Confirmed

Finally, a scientist has confirmed what I have long suspected: my dog laughs. According to work done by Patricia Simonet, an animal behavior researcher at Sierra Nevada College, when dogs pant on a hot day, or from exertion, there’s a certain rhythm and pattern to the sound they make. Roughly translated, the sounds mean exactly […]

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Be A Good Sport

A writer’s job is to take a look at the issues, and try to see them in a whole new way or from a completely different, radical perspective. This can be done through A) lots of in-depth research or B) the regular use of hard drugs. Because a single aspirin can make me too loopy […]

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A Fluke Accident

So I was sitting there trying to figure how long I’d have to spend at the gym to work off all my stress pounds, when I was inexplicably reminded of a story I read last week about beached whales. Beached whales have always been a source of fascination for me. You hardly ever hear about […]

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Five Interesting Things – September 2021

  Hey folx! It’s time for the September 2021 edition of 5 Interesting Things. It’s a short round up of things I’ve found that are: potentially actionable, inspiring, thought-provoking. Let’s get to it! Human augmentation: where it’s at and where it’s headed – Sure, it feels kind of funny to talk about futuristic augmentations to […]

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