C. Margery Kempe's Blog: Lady Smut, page 179

What A Writer Needs, Part 11 – Characters

Characters are essential to a great story.  It’s the characters that the reader falls in love with or hates.   Stories live or fail based on how much a reader cares about the characters.

Some characters we love from the very beginning.  James Bond is adverturous, passionate, and courageous.  He lives his every moment with an excitement that makes every female reader and then viewers of the movies feel shaken but not stilled.

Indiana Jones captures the imagination with his dual identity of humble college professor of archeology and adventurer after the next relic.   At first we think he’s all about the artifact, until we find out he has lost loves, has close friends, cares about his father, and is actually a Henry Jr.  The dog was named Indiana.  And every little bit we find out about him from his willingness to do anything to save someone he cares about to his fear of snakes, makes the reader only admire him more.

Then there’s the hero who isn’t romantic, who is barely a hero at all. Rather he’s the person things happen too.  An easy example of this is Mr. Scrooge of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.   No one wanted to like Scrooge–not his employee, his nephew, or anyone who had met him in the more recent horrible and empty years of his life.   Yet there are still people who have hope for him, and those characters make the hero interesting, a possibly sympathetic character.  The reader begins to see him with the eyes of those characters.  Whether it’s Tiny Tim or his nephew, they see something in him that can be redeemed.  As readers, we’re happy when this turns out to be true.   It’s a win-win for everyone.

Most main characters fall into one of these three types.  Think about it.  What kind of character are writing?  Is he or she the obvious hero?  Perhaps they’re the ones we want to know every detail of the life.  With each detail we are enriched with more knowledge about our favorite growing character.  Or is the character the lost cause who will have to be saved by others.

More on characters next week. Now go and look at your characters. What do they tell you about themselves?

–Susan

Susan Hanniford Crowley

http://www.susanhannifordcrowley.com

What

Filed under: Characters, Susan Hanniford Crowley, What A Writer Needs, What Are You Reading?, What are you watching?, Writing Topics

I’m Having A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Gerri Brousseau

Today was one of those days when things all went down-hill and you just felt like getting back in bed and pulling the covers over your head.  It all started with not being able to access WordPress to post the blog.  It kept freezing my computer, which caused me to have to press the off button and manually crash it.  Then I noticed the battery was low on my lap top.  When I plug it in it usually displays a little plug beside the battery icon in the lower right hand corner, but not today.  Hmm, I wonder what’s up with that?  Well, the battery level hits zero and a little window pops us and tells me to either plug my computer in or replace my battery.  I have never heard of anyone who had to replace a battery in their lap top … ever.  Ok, now what.  I call Office Max and they tell me they do not sell computer batteries there and I have to call the manufacturer.  So, I drag out the paperwork and call the 800 number.  Of course, I don’t get a real person, but an automated routing and it goes round and round in circles and finally hangs up on me.  Ok, now I’m getting slightly irritated, so I decide to go out and do some errands.

I had to get gas, so I pull in to the pump and someone drives in from the other direction, which is fine because there are two pumps.  I get the gas and I’m ready to leave, but of course the driver in front of me isn’t done yet so now I have to back out.  Well, that’s ok except there is this guy who has his car right up against the rear of my car …Good God does he think someone will beat him to the pump?  So I put my car in reverse.  He backs up, but not enough to let me out.  Now I’m jiggy jagging my car to try to get out and the gas station attendant decides this would be the most opportune time to walk behind me and head toward the dumpster.  Still, the guy behind me is not budging an inch because he is afraid someone will scoot in front of him.  Ok – so finally I get out.

Next thing on the agenda is to go to place some flyers around town … shouldn’t be a problem.  Yeah … guess again.  I go to back out of my parking space and someone is backing out of their space across the row and they are not looking … lucky I was.  Then there was the guy trying to walk behind both cars as this is going on.  I finally get out of the space and I’m driving toward the main road to get the heck out of that lot and some girl, who also wasn’t looking, pulls out of her parking space and nearly hits me!  Then there is this big Dodge Ram truck trying to dodge a speed bump and drives on my side of the road.  I mean seriously, he was in a HUGE Dodge Ram, and it’s only a speed bump!  OMG I just want to go home, but I can’t because I have to get up to Office Max and find out how to solve my computer problem.

I get up to Office Max and find out it was my power cord that crapped out (thank God because that was the least expensive fix).  Now, I get back into my car, and again with someone backing out and not looking.  Now I’m getting on the high way and praying, Oh God, please just let me make it home safe and I promise I’ll stay in for the remainder of the day!  One would think my name was Murphy … oh, wait … that was my maiden name!

I finally got home in one piece and thank God the power cord was the issue and now I’m up and running again … but this entire experience gave me a wonderful idea for causing a hap-hazard day full of frustrating and unfortunate events for my hero in the book I’m working on now.  I think we have all had days similar to this one, so why not in the book?  I have to admit, I have not read a book in which someone has such a horrible day they just wanted to climb back in bed … but you have to admit, we all have them.  What do you do when you have a day full of road blocks and frustration?  Do you go back to bed and cover up your head, or do you incorporate it into your novel?

Filed under: romance

Get Organized

In my day job, I manage several people with a variety of strengths and weaknesses. As I coach them through their current roles in preparation for future roles, I tell them to draw on their strengths and work or their weaknesses. I, myself, have always had a tough time in staying organized. In order to keep that in check, I use folders and lists. I write lists for everything in my day job. And if I don’t, it most likely won’t get done.

This weekend, as I sat down to write this blog and work on some manuscripts, I realized that I carry my organization from my day job into my personal life and my writing. As I comb through a draft of a paranormal I’m writing, I list out plot areas I need to connect better, characters I should develop and parts of the work that just don’t make sense and need fixing or nixing.

Admittedly, I do realize that if I plotted my works before hand, I might not have to go through all this trouble in the rewrite, but I’ve tried that before and it doesn’t seem to work for me—at least for now. Most of the time I don’t follow my original plot and then I end up doing the in depth rewrite anyway.

Well, of course my love of lists and my aim for organization got me thinking about what others do to keep themselves organized. One of the most difficult things about writing a book is the fact that the more complex plots are hard to keep straight. I’m sure you’ve all picked up a book, read it and then been unhappy due to plot holes or a story that just didn’t flow/make sense. These come as a result of an author being unable (or forgetting) to tie all the strings together.

There is no need for these types of books. There are tons of plotting tools out there and quite frankly, that is what critique partners are for. Or, if you lack access to either of these currently, go ahead and try lists or creating a table in excel to keep your story straight. What about you writers out there? How do you stay organized? Please feel free to share any recommendations.

Happy writing this week and see you next!

Filed under: Business, Toni Kelly, Writer's Life, Writing Topics

“Did You Read That 15 Shades Book?” by Leia Shaw

“Did you read that 15 Shades book?” my aunt whispered conspiratorially at Easter dinner.

Yes, I’m blogging about that again. You might think a post about 50 Shades is likened to beating a dead horse. I thought so too. But no, the horse is very much alive. In fact, it was on the radio last week. The topic, not the horse. Nobody knows what happened to the horse.

I wrote a response on my blog to the Today Show outrage about a month ago. You can read it here. But if you missed it, here’s my stance. I read the 50 Shades series. Though I enjoyed them, and tend to defend them against haters, I won’t be making Team Christian t-shirts anytime soon.

So why am I bringing it up again? If you’ve been reading my weekly posts, you might have caught on that I like to analyze things. Not scientifically of course. That’s too much work. But I do pay attention to human nature. And I have a thing for studying patterns and trends as it relates to my career. EL James has done something right. And when someone does something THAT right (meaning a million dollar empire and movie deal), I wanna know why and how so I can copy it.

So here’s what I, analyzer extraordinaire who whips these posts together last minute and wouldn’t know real research if it dropped an anvil on my head (in the name of research), ascertained.

Women like a project.

We see someone hurting, we want to fix them. We see someone sick, we want to make them better. We see orphans on TV, we want to give them a hug and be their mommy forever. I have two adopted kids, you don’t have to tell me about wanting to heal the world.

Is it a woman thing – some deeply engrained mothering instinct that demands we fix broken people? Different from a man, who sees a broken table and immediately attaches his manliness to his ability to fix it – like his penis will magically fall off if he needs help.

I’ve seen women fall into this “If he just (enter character trait or action) he’d be perfect” trap too many times. We make the assumption that WE can be the person that finally makes the man see the light. We can turn the bad boy good. The commitment-phobe knuckle-down and propose. Hallelujah, the man has reached his full potential and it’s all because of this miracle-worker!

In 50 Shades we watch Christian Grey through Ana’s eyes. He’s a hurt, broken man, traumatized by a horrific early childhood, who just needs a good woman to understand and love him. The fact that he happens to be rich, handsome, and kinky only makes him more desirable. Imagine! I can heal this poor man while he buys me fancy jewelry and gives me the best sex of my life! How deeply satisfying that must feel. In more ways than one. No wonder women are going crazy for him.

In the real world, people rarely make dramatic changes. I believe everyone is a work in progress, but I also think it’s incredibly stupid to marry someone with the hope of changing them. If you don’t love them unconditionally and you can’t live with them exactly as they are right here and right now, you have no business getting married.

But we’re not talking about real life, are we? No. 50 Shades is an erotic work of fiction. Fantasy. And if in my fantasy, I want to turn hot, rich Christian into the perfect man, well, get the hell out of my way. It’s my fantasy life. What are you doing here anyway? Seriously. What’s this post even about?

I’m not sure but I’ll leave you with this bit of wisdom. My experience with trying to heal the world has taught me one significant truth women tend to overlook. People aren’t like broken tables. They can’t always be fixed no matter how much you love and care for them. No matter how much time and attention you give them. Even when you think you have all the right pieces…sometimes they just can’t be made whole again.

So have a great time with your fantasy life. Heal those poor 50 shades of brokenness while being tied to the bed and pleasured for hours on end. But make sure, when it comes down to it, you know the difference between fantasy and truth.

 

Filed under: romance

Weekly Paranormal-Scope

There’s a quality of heat that’s intensifying.  While I’m not qualified in any way to read neither stars nor planets, I am intimately linked with the paranormal in the world.   In many ways, so are you.

The week ahead for:

Aries

Orcs may growl, when they’re really trying to smile.  Some people have a hard time relaxing.

Taurus

Elves are ticklish.  Remember that and make someone laugh.

Gemini

The Blue Fairy is granting one wish of yours.  Be careful in what you choose.

Cancer

Pixies are planting new seeds for new projects, and you will benefit.

Leo

Centaurs know when the race is best run.  It’s not now.

Virgo

There’s a new slayer in town.  Time to make a new friend.

Libra

Vampires are having a midnight beach party, and you’re invited.

Scorpio

A mermaid waves her tail.  Things are ending, but new adventures await you.

Sagittarius

There’s a new werewolf in town.  Change is coming your way.

Capricorn

Shapeshifters know when it’s time to get in shape.  Take charge of your life and your health.

Aquarius

Gnomes love to travel.  Plan that special vacation now.

Pieces

With a Pegasus, you will soar to new heights.  Life is full of surprises.

–Susan

Susan Hanniford Crowley

http://www.susanhannifordcrowley.com

Filed under: Susan Hanniford Crowley, Weekly Paranormal-Scope

An Anniversary of Titanic Proportion by Gerri Brousseau

One Hundred Years Ago, the largest ship ever built set sail.  Yes, my friends, The RMS Titanic.  She carried some of the wealthiest passengers and over 1000 emigrants from Great Britain, Ireland and Scandinavia on their way to New York City.

The ship boasted an on-board gym, swimming pool, squash court, Turkish baths, libraries, high class restaurants and opulent cabins.  Despite this and having a powerful wireless telegraph system for the convenience of her passengers, she lacked enough life boats to accommodate all her passengers.  On her maiden voyage she carried 2,224 passengers, but only had enough life boats for 1,178.  Many of those boats were launched only partially filled.

The remains of the Titanic rest in her watery grave under 12,415 feet of ocean.  When doing some research for this article, I discovered some really horrific findings.

Passenger category
Number aboard
Number Saved
Number Lost


Children 1st Class
6
5
1


Children 2nd Class
24
24
0


Children 3rd Class
79
27
52


Women 1st Class
144
140
4


Women 2nd Class
93
80
13


Women 3rd Class
165
76
89


Women Crew
23
20
3


Men 1st Class
175
57
118


Men 2nd Class
168
14
154


Men 3rd Class
462
65
387


Men Crew
865
192
693

After seeing the wonderful movie, Titanic, we can all imagine being swept into the romance of the beautiful accommodations and opulent grand staircase and dining room.  The third class accommodations were much better than the same in any other ships.  The third class passengers were accommodated in cabins sleeping between two and ten people.  It also offered 164 open berths provided for single young men.  But if I were traveling aboard that ship, I most probably would not have been in first class.  Chances are, I would have been lucky to make it into second class.  I discovered leisure facilities were provided for all three classes.  Nice.  As I sit here recalling the store of Jack and Rose, I wonder if I would find love if I were a passenger on Titanic.  Would I be swept off my feet by a romantic man?  I wonder what the third class dining room was like.  I wonder if I would have been one of the lucky 76 or 80 to make it into the life boat.  What do you think life would have been like for you if you were a passenger aboard that opulent but ill-fated ship?

Filed under: romance

Work Life Balance

I hear this at my day job all the time. Work life balance, work life blend. What does it all mean? As a writer, I think about this more than ever because it is a really difficult balance to achieve. With my day job, I don't really have a choice. I leave the house and my family for eight to ten hours a day and I have a job to do.  If I don't do this job, bills don't get paid, health insurance isn't covered and I'm not saving for retirement.

Then I factor in writing. It would be a dream if my day job was my writing but currently, this scenario isn't affordable in my life. Therefore, writing becomes an add-in, a second job if you will (only because I take it more seriously than a hobby). And each hour I spend writing is an hour away from family. Oh and remember that house that needs to be cleaned, those groceries that need to be bought, that car that needs gas, I can go on and on. The point is that a balance is hard, may be even unachievable at times.

But that doesn't mean that you can't ever manage it. It doesn't mean you need to give up on any dreams of being an author/writer or leave your family behind. All it means is that you take your time. Take one day at a time and set realistic goals for yourself so that you don't fall into a routine of beating yourself up every time it doesn't work according to plan. And as you come off this weekend of family time and Easter egg hunts (for those of you who celebrate Easter), remember that everything has it's time and place. Enjoy each moment as it happens. Nothing is impossible.

Happy writing to you all this week!

Filed under: Toni Kelly, Writer's Life, Writing

Pleasing Picky Bitches by Leia Shaw

As an author I pay very close attention to what fans of my genre (paranormal romance) want in a book. The hero is easy  – masculine, well-built and well-hung, alpha to the core, but can still be brought to his knees by the love of his life. Give him a few poetic lines and bulging biceps and you have a swoon-worthy hero.

But when it comes to heroines, we are picky bitches.  Our dislike/jealousy/hatred of each other in real life translates straight to our reading. Let me explain what I mean.

Look at any field saturated by women – nursing, teaching, administration, etc. These are fields with high employee dissatisfaction. That's because of the drama women cause! Why? Because we feel threatened by other women. We are an oversensitive, catty, gossipy, vengeful species. And that's when we're not on our period.

Now I knew this, having worked in the childcare field, before I started writing. But what surprised me is how we treat characters in books the same way. If the heroine doesn't fit our standards to a T, it ruins the whole story. There's no redemption, no forgiveness, the writer should be tarred and feathered and her hands should be cut off so she can never write again.

Obviously I'm making some pretty big general statements here and I'm sure every one of you reading this is the exception to the rule just as I'm sure Johnny Depp will recognize me as his one true mate and take me to his chateau in France where we'll  live happily ever after.  So no need to defend yourselves in the comments.

Anyway, I've been studying what we picky bitches want in a heroine. Here's the list as I understand it right now (which is subject to change anytime because, well, we're picky bitches):

Kick-ass when it's time to kick-ass and never before or after, but also with a vulnerable side when the hero is near (or her pet dog).

Perfect, but with some flaws, but not too many flaws and only certain ones (like, she loves her pet dog too much.) The reverse is also true – imperfect but with no flaws.

She can't be a doormat but she also can't be too independent.

Pretty and skinny but also a "real girl with curves."

Too cute is out. Too smart is out. Too sarcastic is out. Blonde is definitely out.  Don't even get me started on mental disorders. The only disability that's acceptable is dyslexia, but she has to overcome it 70% on her own, 20% with the help of the hero and 10% because of her pet dog (who she loves too much).

If she makes a bad decision, she's too stupid to live.

She can't cry too much or she's whiny.

She can't get angry or she's throwing a tantrum.

She can't ask for what she wants or she's bossy.

She can't try to get what she wants or she's manipulative.

She can't change her mind or she's wishy-washy.

God forbid she tells a lie. She should burn in hell.

She shouldn't have a religious preference, a sexual orientation, a race, or an aversion to Brazilian waxing (every hero wants a smooth lady).

Got all that? Am I making sense? If the answer is no, then you get it. Good job.

If you've been nodding along and agree with every criteria, then I speak on behalf of every writer out there when I say, we hate you.

Hopefully this blog post has been educational, or at the very least, a waste of two minutes. To the readers and reviewers out there, give us a break. More importantly, give yourselves a break.

To all my fellow authors and aspiring writers who are so dear to my heart…

…good freakin' luck.

Filed under: romance

Weekly Paranormal-Scope

There's a rejuvenation occurring in a lot of ways.

While I'm not qualified in any way to read neither stars nor planets, I am intimately linked with the paranormal in the world.   In many ways, so are you.

The week ahead for:

Aries

Fairies sing your name in praise.  They are shining good luck on you.  Enjoy it.

Taurus

Orcs and those that grumble are to be avoided.

Gemini

Whales sing their calves to sleep in the waves.  Enjoy a restful week.  Listen to the ocean if you get the chance.

Cancer

You're going to feel as productive as a wizard this week.

Leo

Pixies are spreading fairy dust on you.  The energy is wonderful.

Virgo

Shapeshifters admire your ability to change and adapt.  It's getting easier for you.

Libra

The fair folk know you have a creative side, and it's time to express it.

Scorpio

Werewolves sniffs out problems.  Don't worry.  You're protected by trustworthy friends.

Sagittarius

Mermaids swim with the current.  So should you.  Enjoy the warm breezes.

Capricorn

One elf will do anything for you.  Dance in the sunshine.  You are so lucky.

Aquarius

A vampire crosses your path and invites you to share in their mysteries.  Tread carefully.

Pieces

Dragons are also partial to Peeps, which are also good in s'mores.  Enjoy the little things.

–Susan

Susan Hanniford Crowley

http://www.susanhannifordcrowley.com

Filed under: Susan Hanniford Crowley, Weekly Paranormal-Scope

Spring Fever

by C. Margery Kempe

WHAN that Aprille with his shoures soote

The droghte of Marche hath perced to the roote,

And bathed every veyne in swich licour,

Of which vertu engendred is the flour;

Whan Zephirus eek with his swete breeth

Inspired hath in every holt and heeth

The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne

Hath in the Ram his halfe cours y-ronne,

And smale fowles maken melodye,

That slepen al the night with open ye,

So priketh hem nature in hir corages:

Than longen folk to goon on pilgrimages…

I always think of these lines from Chaucer when April rolls around. I even recorded them for you so you can hear how the cadences of the poetry roll off the tongue. Spring here in Ireland has been rather mild and even fairly sunny. It has the same effect on everyone, I think: spring fever.

As the poet writes, the warm showers of April offer a change from the harsher winds of March. You can see how the warmth has had a wild effect. Ireland is green in the middle of winter, but with the return of spring it's as if the Emerald Isle said, "Oh, you call that green? I'll show you green!" When I lived in Houston I only realised how much it affected me living in a land that was paved from one end to the other when I returned to New England and could not get enough of the green.

I always quote the wonderful line from García Lorca: "Verde que te quiero verde" or Green, how I love you, green: you cannot imagine just how many different greens there are now that spring has sprung.

And along with the springing vegetation there's the amorous animals, too. The hooded crows and the rooks are nesting in the horse chestnut tree in the square  below my window. Nest making going on everywhere.

Galway is a student town with two universities and a college or two as well. The emo band next door is getting all excited again — I am less so (-_-) and at the Saturday farmer's market you can see even more people than usual, all checking each other out. Shop Street is crowded with people out for a stroll.

Me? I'm longing to go on a pilgrimage, so I'm off to my favourite city on Monday: London! I haven't been there since last fall, so despite the brevity of the trip I will enjoy it. I will be catching a play I've been longing to see, a film that's not widely distributed and seeing my namesake at Butterfly World Project!

After that I'm heading up to Leicester for Alt-Fiction, a terrific small spec fic convention. I'll be staying with the UnBound/Apocalypse Girls crew so it will be lots of fun/house party weekend with baked goods promised. It's always fun to hang out with other authors, too.

After that it's back to the north because I can't stay away from Dundee for too long! My Scotsman awaits. Love is grand.

Filed under: C. Margery Kempe, contemporary romance, erotic romance, fantasy romance, inspiration, Kit Marlowe, paranormal, romance, Romantic Places, science fiction romance, science fiction with romantic elements, What inspires you?, Writer's Life, Writers Conferences