C. Margery Kempe's Blog: Lady Smut, page 145

Three’s Not A Crowd

Like many writers, I belong to a critique group. We met last night and one of the writers happened to have brought in some pages for us to critique that included a very graphic ménage-à-trois scene. We all listened carefully and made notes for comment, but one of the ladies in the group summed it up well at the end. When the writer finished reading her scene, our fellow member said only, “Wow.”

It’s no secret that many male fantasies include either watchingwomen-on-women “lesbian” sex or being...

Scrumptious or Luscious? Both! Amanda Usen’s Hawt Culinary Romances

A few weeks back, I wrote a post on culinary romances and Amanda Usen was one of the writers featured in that post. We struck up a Twitter conversation and eventually I asked if she’d answer a few questions for Lady Smut. She was happy to and it was a joy to interview her. I hope you check out her books. And in the mean time, she’s doing a giveaway today. Answer her question and you’re entered to win a copy of one of her books. PLEASE make sure to leave your email address or we won’t be able...

What Have You Done For Me Lately, Chelsea?

Chelsea Handler who is the host of her own late night show CHELSEA LATELY is impressive. A worthy woman to use as inspiration for a romance heroine.

I do admire her –but it’s a complicated relationship.

Here are things I love:

1) She’s a total super bitch. I think I’m a nice person–at times even a sweet person some might say–but I have my edgy side too. Occasionally I feel the nicey-nice thing we do in feminine society is a little stifling. Chelsea is a total palate antidote. She takes snark to...

Sexy Saturday Round-Up

Photo by Dollen

Hello sexy! I’ve got a lot of juicy tidbits for you today.

How to claim Google authorship and why it’s important.

Janice Hardy on cliffhanger endings and multiple POVs.

New research suggests guys don’t want causal sex.

Suzy Spencer interviewing Kate Douglas. Very informative.

One of our favs, Sarah Wendell on the beta hero.

Jami Gold on the dread of writing sex scenes.

Stay Hungry,

Liz

Friday Fun: Rogues

Ollie Reed as Athos

by C. Margery Kempe

I’m sure if I could unlock the source of my attraction to shambolic rogues, all of my life would fall neatly into some kind of logical coherence, my mind would be suffused with peace and tranquility and doubtless my days would be filled with a calm success and fulfillment.

But I doubt that’ll ever happen.

From an early age I can remember being drawn to these wild and unpredictable characters who are likely to cause trouble, wreak havoc, drink to excess and...

I’m a Little Gay For Nigella Lawson

Nigella in a crazy dress.

Hey readers–have you watched this The-Voice-meets-Master-Chef show called The Taste? It’s over now, but you can catch all the episodes here.  The primary reason I watched was because I’m a huge fan of Nigella Lawson.  She is the perfect romance heroine, in my mind.  Really gorgeous, British, and she’s super into comfort food.

Her figure is whack.  Naturally slender arms and legs, total hourglass.  Very large breasted.  It’s a classic va-va-voom figure and it’s a figure that’s gotten larger, and shrunk again.  To me, she’s a very glamorous woman with a great body.  She even has crazy large ears she hides under all that hair.

I first went swooney over her cookbooks, and and of course, a million college guys sat drooling over her cooking show. While their eyes glazed over with lust, and they contemplated their sudden mother/older-woman fixation, Nigella would make some slathered and luscious yet uncomplicated dessert that required just the right amount of finger licking before it was finished.  Always sexy, in her earth-goddess way, but never cheap–that’s what I like about Nigella.

A cray-cray figure

She’s also got that classic romance heroine arc going on in her life. After a privileged youth, she suffered tragedy with the illness and death of her first husband.  She’s overcome all that, and she’s risen as well above the bullying she’d gotten from the cooking world and British tabloids about her weight gain.  (Gordon Ramsay was particularly nasty on his show The F Word about her weight.)

She older now, too, and I fear for what kind of chemical-frankenstein-hollywood terror she could be putting face and body through to try and match up to her youth.  I actually like the way her body looks now.  It’s more real, and just as amazing to my mind.  I enjoyed seeing who she was on the show–how she was up front about what she liked and why.  We got to see her question her own strategy and try to find a way to gracefully handle the decimation of her team.

I also liked Ludo, the French Chef they had on the show.  He was the outsider, with an accent as thick as beurre blanc.  Ludo has the supreme Gallic charm and flirty sexuality–but you can see he’s taking the playing right to the edge, and that in his eyes he’s a split second away from letting go.  He also has the Gallic temper that comes out of now where like a flash flood.  His fury cracks over the head of his team, and then just as quickly goes away again.  His team was almost unbeatable in the challenges.  When he helped–they were supreme.

He and Nigella were the show for me.  However, if I had to choose which one I had to sleep with–as tempting as Ludo is–I’d have go with Nigella.  That’s just the way it is.  She turns straight women gay.

Anthony Bourdain meanwhile,–eh.  I mean, I think I came away liking him better than I did before I watched the show.  I’d always thought him rather arrogant before.  He’s a little too real for me.  The New Jersey guy with his sack of issues. Whereas I find something inspirational about Ludo and Nigella. The greatness of the show was that you got to see some seriously gorgeous people who were very passionate about food.  For them, the taste of great food was sex in their mouths.

Speaking of people who are passionately aroused by food — have you checked out Liz Everly’s book Saffron Nights? It’s on sale right now for $1.99 online at Barnes & Nobel.  Check it out here.

Ciao!

Fondled And Gobbled: Someone Had To Do It – Book Review

It all started, according to the introduction of Ellora’s Cave, Fondled And Gobbled: Someone Had To Do It, at last year’s RomantiCon convention. Alcohol-fueled minds played a significant role. Someone started a conversation about favorite scenes in erotic romances, someone else started speculating about how funny it would be to do a parody of them, and thus this amusing, lighthearted anthology was born.

The five short stories in this quick, fun read are all different, but they maintain the goal of spoofing erotic romance. They all garnered at least a smile for me, with a couple of them being straight laugh-out-loud hilarious.

The first story in the book, Cassandra Carr’s Wild Fantasy Hero, was also my favorite. It’s a parody of Fifty Shades of Grey, with the heroine being Steele Ana and the hero Grey Christian. The story would be funny even without the benefit of having read Fifty Shades, but certainly the guffaws are enhanced if you have. Carr’s writing sprinkles hilarious metaphors throughout the story, and she definitely comes up with some doozies. ” . . . she fastened her lips arond the head and sucked hard, using Grey’s cock like a huge straw. Grey’s hands flew into her hair and he steered her like he was captaining an F-18.”

Next is Danica Avet’s Cookie Bound. The hero appears to be perfect: perfect gentleman (he saves her from a mugging), perfect body, wealthy, kind . . . but his skills in the bedroom fall a little short, starting with his “tootsie roll” sized, ahem, appendage.

We get alien sex in Lea Barrymire’s Moonlust Paradise, in which the alien has three – count ‘em! – three cocks that he uses with exemplary skill to seduce his Earth woman soulmate. I had to laugh when the alien asks Earth girl Missy, who’s busy orally  pleasuring him, what her name is. “Mithy,” she replies, since her mouth is, you know, full.

Piper Trace gives us Slave To The Sausage, a group sex spoof with sex-crazed Emily Justasalad who, despite her last name, has got to have ”meat.” Enter the Broadshaft Brothers, owners of a pizzeria who fill Emily’s wishes and all of her orifices with their hot man sausages. “Go ahead,” says the brothers’ restaurant tagline. “Just try to beat our meat!”

The final story is Anya Richards’ Surprise Submissive, the M/M story in the lot. I liked this story, with its amusing take on the dom/submissive genre, but I actually thought it was also kinda hot.

Speaking of that, as you can imagine these stories aren’t meant to get us panting and reaching for a fan and ice chips as we’re reading them. They’re funny and clever and while they may leave you wanting more, it’s for the laughs and not the sex. And humor, like anything, can be taste specific. In places where I was snorting others may be snoozing. But it’s a fun book and a refreshing way to look at the world of erotic romance. Check it out. If it leaves you wanting more, EC has also released Fondled and Gobbled: Going Back For Seconds.

Protect Our Treasures

This past weekend I saw The Great and Powerful Oz in the theater and in my opinion, while he was great and powerful or “good” in his own way, the movie was far from it. Still, I’m not here to movie bash and quite frankly the movie had its entertainment value. Not to mention its resounding theme to believe in oneself is a valid piece of advice.

What I actually wanted to mention today were the previews I saw. There seems to be an influx of movies coming out about the future of humanity (or lack of it) and the universe. In some, earth exists as a dangerous, practically inhabitable place and in others, we are doing all we can to protect what’s left of our earth and our people.

I have to admit that it’s kind of strange in a masochistic sort of way to watch movies about the demise of your species. Last I checked, the dinosaurs weren’t all sitting around imagining or talking about the end of their species. Then again, I don’t really know anyone who would have been privy to their minds and conversations anyway. Still, as I look around me, I can’t help but see bits and pieces of these fictional predictions coming into play and when one tries to think about what can be done to solve it all, a headache is most probable.

The truth is that I haven’t the slightest idea what will save our earth and whether we could possibly get everyone to listen even if we did have the answer. I mean I’m sure recycling, protecting our natural resources, forests and wildlife, being “greener” and caring about our environment (as well as the people in it) would all make a huge difference if we worked together. Still my thoughts and humble opinion on this is that it can all be a bit more basic. All these efforts to save our world and our species stem from one basic premise: protect our treasures.

What is your treasure? I’ll leave that for you to answer. In my mind, my family, home and future are my treasures and these in turn encompass many more tangible and intangible treasures. The thought behind this is that if we teach ourselves and each other to take care of all we have, just maybe we can influence the path of our own story.

Happy Writing this week!

Filed under: Toni Kelly, Writer's Life

Love Fest: A/Q with Madeline Iva

This year, for the first time in its history, the Virginia Festival of the Book is holding a Love Fest, a kind of gathering and celebration of the romance genre. The book festival takes place March 20-24, with much of the Love Fest events taking place the March 22 and 23. And much of the reason is because of our own Madeline Iva, who is the organizer of event. This is big. This is exciting. This has never happened before in Charlottesville. Kudos to Madeline and all who helped make this event happen.

I asked her several questions about the festival and how this event came to be.

Liz: Last year, you organized several successful panels. How did you get involved?

Madeline: Jo Bourne is my mentor.  There used to be romance panels at the festival but that they hadn’t had any in a few years and I knew the timing was right to propose a panel, so I mentioned it to Jo.  She came up with the idea, and since she was off to RWA Nationals that week, she said she’d ask Deanna Raybourne if she wanted to be on a panel as well, since they shared an agent and would be hanging out.  She also gave me Cathy Maxwell contact info, since she knew Cathy is an excellent panelist.  The festival said ‘yes’ to the panel we proposed in about three minutes flat. ;> The response to the panel was outstanding. The space was overflowing with people and it was a great crowd.  Their enthusiastic comment cards convinced the people in charge of the Festival to expand the amount of panels and thus was Love Fest born.

Liz: When it comes to organizing panels, do you reach out among your friends for ideas, search online? What did you do?

Madeline: In addition to Joanna Bourne, Cathy Maxwell, Deanna Raybourne, and Lauren Willig have all been incredibly helpful with sending wonderful authors my way–especially Cathy.  Now that we’re doing Love Fest and there’s a day of panels, I’m starting to spread the word at conferences as well.  Barbara Vey from the Publishers Weekly romance blog mentioned us as well on her blog after her visit to Virginia.  (Kisses to you, Barbara!)

Liz: What have been some of the other duties you’ve tackled as the organizer?

Madeline: What have you got? I organize anything and everything–from arts events to kitchen drawers.  I’ve always found it to be a deeply satisfying task and it just comes naturally. What’s fun about organizing romance panels is that everyone’s very cheery and incredibly competent.  Really, it almost organizes itself.

Liz: What are some of the biggest things you’ve learned about organizing an event like this?

Madeline: I went to this talk on marketing strategies by Brenda Novak. Her talk could be summed up this way: “Ask not what people can do to help your career, ask what you can do to help others.” She’s 100% correct.  I started organizing romance panels as a way of repaying Joanna Bourne for all the help she’s given me.  I also wanted to help the other romance writers who were frustrated that the Virginia Festival of the Book wasn’t representing romance genre at the time.  Yet this fall when I was pitching my own work, I had an incredibly positive reaction from agents and editors because of my involvement with the fest.  That was a major unexpected bonus.  The other bonus is that I’ve gotten to build friendships with some the authors who are on panels–the rewards keep on coming.

Liz: How many romance panels are there? And who will be on them?

Madeline: There are four romance panels–two historical, one paranormal, and one romantic suspense.  We have the following authors: Joanna Bourne, Mary Jo Putney, Grace Burrowes, Jehanne Wake, Kristen Callihan, Deanna Raybourne, Lauren Willig, Tasha Alexander, Joshilyn Jackson, Mary Burton, Joyce Lamb, Kim Harrison, Jeaniene Frost, Vicki Pettersson, Pamela Palmer — and you!

Liz: What’s the most exciting thing about this event?

Madeline: Well, for authors who belong to the Virginia Romance Writers (VRW), there’s a breakfast reception where they can talk to these authors in a relaxed social setting.  They can ask authors questions and eyeball them up close.  I don’t know about you, but as an aspiring author, I’m always super-amped up after I’ve seen someone really successful up close and personal.  For some reason the task that seems so daunting before (write an amazing book that sells like crazy) seems more possible when I meet people who’ve done just that.

For readers it’s a chance to see these witting, charming ladies get into some deep discussion about their passions.  Also, they can get their books signed right after each panel.  Finally, we’ve got so many books to give away–it’s going to be a gift basket extravaganza! The panels are free, the food is free, there are huge authors at this event, and we’ll have gift baskets coming out our ears. If you love romance, you’ll probably be in heaven.

Sharing the Load, Sharing the Blame – by Leia Shaw

Sharing the load, Sharing the blame – how three authors work together to make magic, by Cari Silverwood, Sorcha Black, and Leia Shaw.

As co-authors of a new book series, the Badass Brats, we’re often asked how we managed to write one book with three authors. Since there were three main characters in the first book, The Dom with a Safeword, and so three different character voices and points of view, we each wrote one character and the POV’s rotated throughout the book. That’s on a logistical level. Here, in our own words, were some ups and downs in working as a team.

Cari: People assume that writing with two other authors must be difficult and fraught with danger. If working with pets and children is bad, you must need Kevlar to work with authors. Although I agree in a way – authors do resemble both animals and children at certain times, mostly suffering from low caffeine blood-levels, I also would have to say that The Dom with a Safeword was great fun to write.

One of the joys I discovered was opening up the doc for the story and finding that the story had moved on without me. The quirks of the people we wrote slowly unfurled without me doing much at all. It was like opening a birthday present most days and added to the whole experience of writing. It helped a lot that we knew exactly who these people were that we were writing. We knew how they ticked and what they’d do when faced by different dilemmas.

I always have bumps and mind tangles that get in the way of me writing my stories but knowing that others needed me to do my part helped enormously. You don’t get writers block when you co-write. If you try to they throw something at you. Did we have arguments? For sure. Sometimes one of us would dig our toes in (mostly Leia lol) but generally it worked out fine.

 

Sorcha: For me, as an unpublished writer (and also new to the genre, as I usually write fantasy), working with two established authors was both nerve wracking and reassuring. It was nerve wracking because I knew that I had a lot to live up to. I didn’t want either of them to regret working with me, so the pressure was on. At first I was shy and a bit intimidated about speaking up for Q during plot discussions, but I quickly realized that her character arc was in my hands. If I didn’t speak for her, who would?  On several occasions I had to save her from saying dorky things at the pens of my co-writers – and at one point even from sucking her thumb!

Being able to work with Leia and Cari was reassuring, though, because when it came to advice about my writing style, they were there for me with gently worded help. They also talked me down a few times when – in moments of frustration – I decided that maybe I should give up writing entirely. When it came time to publish, I had the luxury of watching and learning instead of trying to muddle through the process alone.

The best part of the entire experience was how much fun it was watching the book develop as well as getting to read chapters the other two wrote! I’d write a chapter and get two in return – a very satisfying arrangement. I was checking my chat and e-mail a million times a day, hoping for more book discussion and/or a new chapter.

As we get the sequel started, I’m looking forward to another wild ride!

 

Leia: Since I’m pasting this together, I get to defend myself from my co-author’s accusations. I am NOT the most stubborn and thumb sucking was NOT my idea.

There. Now that that’s out of the way, I’m going to take a different angle. Yes, it was fun and exciting to read what the others wrote, their take on the characters, etc. But since I’m pretty lazy, what I really liked was help plotting. Sometimes it was frustrating because we all had different ideas and we’re all pretty opinionated. I don’t know if you know this, but we authors like having control of our work and don’t always play well with others. But after we finished throwing writer tantrums, we figured out how to compromise. Sorcha and Cari have excellent ideas – sometimes even better than mine, if you can imagine that And we all have opposing strengths and weaknesses. So together, we’re a complete package.

It was also nice having someone who understood the book and characters critiquing my work. I think I grew as an author, learning from two other authors who’s strengths balance my weaknesses. Everything just went faster. Writing, rewriting, editing. And it was so much fun the time moved quickly. I’m really glad I joined the project, even during the most frustrating parts, because it was worth it in the end. I believe in our book. I think it’s a fabulous combination of humor, emotional agony, heartwarming love, and super sexy, kinky romance.

 

Now we’re well into the middle of the second full-length Badass Brats book, The Dom with the Perfect Brats. It’s a little rougher this time around but we’re hoping we ironed out the bumps in the beginning and it’s smooth sailing until the end.

What do you think about writing teams? Is it something you’d be interested in if you found the right people?

Filed under: romance