Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 716
January 18, 2010
My previous life
A couple days ago I received a phone call from a friend, asking for advice related to her sick child. The boy had a lingering fever despite the fever-reducing medication that had been administered, and she was wondering if she should call the doctor or wait until morning in hopes that the fever break.
The strangest thing about the phone call was that I was the one receiving it. My friend's child is a toddler, and I am the parent of a daughter who is less than a year old. I can't remember...
January 17, 2010
Better ways of feeling good about yourself
Someone recently tried to tell me that watching television shows like The Jersey Shore and The Real Housewives of Wherever makes people "feel better about themselves."
I suggested the same argument could also be used to defend slavery, public executions and the mandatory defrocking of the obese.
More importantly, I added that reading a book, listening to a favorite song, or writing an old-fashioned letter to a loved one might also be an effective way of feeling good about oneself, and...
The right thing
I was recently planning on doing the wrong ting, but upon reflection, I decided to do the right thing.
And you know what?
I'm not happy.
That's the problem with doing the right thing. It's so often the right thing for everyone but yourself.
And didn't Thomas Jefferson promise me the right to the pursuit of happiness?
Liar.
January 16, 2010
Toilet wins every time
Years ago, on the way to Florida, my best friend and I played the "Best of All-Time" game, in which competitors must argue for the best of all-time in a variety of categories. Movies. Books. Dictators. Handheld kitchen appliances. Pick-up lines. You name it.
When it came to Best Invention of All-Time, my buddy said, "Indoor plumbing" without the slightest hesitation. In a game of hemming and hawing, qualifying and justifying, an answer this instantaneous is rare. My initial reaction was...
Elmore Leonards rules of writing
Elmore Leonard posited some writing rules in the New York Times way back in July of 2001, when the towers still stood and water boarding was presumed to be an odd reference to surfing.
I just found his list of rules today. For the most part, I agree with Leonard's assertions. Several even echo Stephen King's sentiments in his invaluable book ON WRITING.
I thought Leonard's fifth and sixth rules were especially amusing:
5. Keep your exclamation points under control.
"You are allowed...
January 15, 2010
A real life Martin?
If you are a fan of SOMETHING MISSING, then read this post by Greg Allen. I don't know the man, but based upon his view on rotating dishes, it sounds as if he could be Martin Railsback's twin.
From his longer post:
"So we have dinner, take down a couple of plates, wash them, dry them, put them back. Have soup more rarely, take down a couple of bowls--big? small?--put them back.
And this is what I sometimes worry about: do I put them back on top of the stack? Do I put the bowls back in...
January 14, 2010
Make it memorable
A couple weeks ago, my friend gave birth to a baby daughter. A couple hours after the delivery, my wife and I sent the happy couple a bouquet of flowers.
While on the phone with the gift shop manager, I asked if there was an item in the store that was so ugly or strange that it rarely sold. Almost instantly, she answered by describing a bizarre, creepy, headless jewelry holder that she claimed had never been purchased during her three years of employment at the shop.
"Perfect!" I...
Star Trek
Sometimes I encounter a freak who claims that Star Trek is better than Star Wars. While there are many, many ways to refute this utterly ridiculous claim, I like to point to this video clip.
It says it all.
Commas from the gut
I have to say that the latest quote from AdviceToWriters is spot-on:
The use of commas cannot be learned by rule. Not only does conventional practice vary from period to period, but good writers of the same period differ among themselves. . . . The correct use of the comma—if there is such a thing as "correct" use—can only be acquired by common sense, observation and taste. SIR ERNEST GOWERS
Of course, try telling this to standardized test designers or curriculum experts.
January 13, 2010
Johnny Depp, again, and again, and again
Did you hear about the upcoming film Alice in Wonderland?
It stars Johnny Depp, reprising his role as Edward Scissorhands in an adaptation of Jack Sparrow's Willy Wonka.
Does this guy ply the same character in every movie or what?
