Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 644

So stupid it wouldnt make for bad fiction

The fact that one of the Democrats who Sarah Palin targeted on her website with the crosshairs of a sniper rifle was shot in the head today is unbelievable. 

It's like bad fiction.

Add to this Rep. Giffords's prescient warning that there are consequences for placing crosshairs of a gun sight over certain political districts and the story becomes utterly unbelievable. 

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Had I tried to write this plotline into one of my novels, my agent would have sent me an email along these lines:
____________________________

Dear Matt,

I've read your manuscript and have a few questions about the plotline involving your portrayal of the lunatic former Republican VP candidate:

1.  Why would former Vice Presidential candidate be stupid enough to create such a moronic and potentially inflammatory website?

2.  Why wouldn't she take the website down after receiving enormous pressure from both sides of the aisle?

3,  Why would she then be foolish enough to acknowledge her own stupidity (and possible culpability) by taking down the site immediately following the shooting of one of her cross-haired targets?

4.  What are the chances that the victim of the shooting would have so conveniently and so level-headedly discussed the issue of political violence and addressed the website specifically in an interview prior to the shooting. 

None of this is believable in the least, Matt.  Start over.

Onward!

Taryn 
____________________________

My thoughts, of course, go out to the victims of this tragic event. 

Unhappy

is it wrong for me to find this photo of my daughter (sitting in the middle) absolutely hilarious? 

Initial assessment of Glee

After two episodes…

The good:

Quirky as hell Original  characters with actual character development A possible reference to HL Menken in the pilot Good music Genuinely funny

The bad:

High school kids can be mean, but never this mean A smidgen of sap A formulaic plot but with blessedly non-formulaic characters

…and that might be it.

Overall a rousing success so far.  I love it.

The people who didnt kill dogs are good, too.

Like most Americans, I am completely in favor of giving someone a second chance, including people who do things as utterly despicable as Michael Vick.

But it's important to note that I am in even greater favor of people who do not screw up  in the first place.

Redemption stories are great, but I sometimes worry that we fail to recognize the less newsworthy but decidedly more honorable people who just do the right thing all the time.    

Stupidity abounds in the NFL

New York Jets coach Rex Ryan takes the time while preparing his team for their playoff game against the Indianapolis Colts to criticize Patriots quarterback Tom Brady in what can only be described as an unprovoked and utterly unnecessary insult to the future Hall of Famer. 

And he manages to insult the Colts' coaching staff at the same time.

Bulletin board material for two opponents in one press conference.   

The Miami Dolphins management inform their coach, Tony Sparano, that he will be back for another season.  Then they interview Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh, offer him a contract twice the size of Sparano's, and announce for a second time that Sparano is their man only after Harbaugh rejects their offer. 

Sparano must be feeling good today.  

It warms the heart of a Patriots fan to watch rival football organizations in the same division make such blunders.   

Home for the day

I was home on Wednesday.  Clara was sick (ear and sinus infection), and having already stayed home at least three times this year for Clara's illnesses and doctor's appointments, Elysha and I figured that I should take a turn.

It was an odd day.  I have never spent the day at home before without actually being sick, so I couldn't help but feel a little guilty knowing my students were working and I was not with them.

I spent much of the morning mentally following their schedule, wondering if everyone was receiving the help and support they needed, and hoping that my occasionally-less-than-angelic students were behaving well.  

It proved to be a productive day, however.  In addition to taking down the Christmas tree, I managed to get a little writing done as I sat alongside Clara, who worked on a creation of her own.

It was probably my favorite moment of the day.  We were sitting alongside one another for at least 30 minutes, listening to The Beatles and working on our own projects.

The hat was Clara's idea.

 

Later on that night, Elysha and I repeated this process as we sat across from one another at the same table.  I was still working on my book and Elysha was cursing the sewing machine as she attempted to create a gift from one her friend's sons. 

We don't watch a lot of television in our house, and this is why.  We are too busy with other things.

Other highlights from the day included the moment after lunch when Clara walked over to the staircase, pointed upward and said, "Nap."

And I will admit that I also took great pleasure in cleaning the house.  Sweeping the floors, putting away the laundry, organizing the toys, filing away the bills, doing the dishes.  I love my job as an elementary school teacher, but I think I would make a damn fine stay-at-home dad and be perfectly happy taking care of the household chores.

We might eat a lot of macaroni and cheese, and all the whites might eventually end up pink, but the house would be clean and Clara would be well cared for.   

I have apparently married a rock star.

My wife's birthday is today.  In the past 48 hours, she has received:

More than 100 posts to her Facebook wall wishing her a happy birthday A dozen or so cards through the mail A number of texts wishing her a happy birthday, including one from a former student Half a dozen phone calls doing the same

In that same period of time, I have received:

Three texts telling me to wish her a happy birthday One instant message regarding a possible birthday gift for her A sternly written email warning that I "Best be taking very good care of your lovely wife today!" A text from a friend who was equally astonished with the outpouring of Facebook birthday love that she has received

And this isn't even a milestone birthday for her.

I've always known that my wife is is loved by all, but this is getting a little out of hand. 

It leaves me with two questions:

1.  How did I ever manage to marry this person?  Seriously.  I suspect that many of her friends and family often wonder the same thing.    

There are these moments (more frequent than you might guess) when I look upon my wife and no longer see Elysha Dicks.  Instead, I see Elysha Green, that beautiful, funny, clever woman who I could never hope to marry.

I call them Elysha Green Moments, and they literally take my breath away.   

2.  What kind of outpouring will I receive in a month when I celebrate my 40th birthday?

I'm guessing not nearly as much. 

Too much is worse than too little

A few admittedly questionable comments on sleep:

Is it wrong for me to lose a little respect for my daughter every time she sleeps more than twelve hours in a given night?  I feel like she's sleeping away some of the best times in her life. _____________________________________________

Ever since a friend expressed concern over the frequency with which I dream about the apocalypse, I have been keeping track of the number of nights that I spend struggling to stay alive in my dreams.

In 12 of 14 nights thus far, I have had a dream in which my life was in grave peril. 

Is this really abnormal?  Perhaps my friend is conveniently forgetting the more nightmarish of his dreams.  _____________________________________________

When you complain that your child won't sleep through the night while simultaneously expressing a desire to sleep for 10-12 hours every night for the rest of your life, your problem with sleep might be worse than your child's.

More Oliver oddities

As an addendum to my earlier post on the Brady Bunch:

Wikipedia reports that Cousin Oliver was added to The Brady Bunch's cast in hopes that his "with Dutch Boy haircut and wire-rimmed glasses, his resemblance to pop singer John Denverand juvenile appeal would help the flagging series."

I confirmed this information on three other sites, including an interview in the Washington Post.

It might actually be true. 

Let me say that again:

The producers of The Brady Bunch added a character to the show in hopes that his resemblance to John Denver would somehow boost ratings.

Bizarre. 

I also found that Robbie Rist, the actor who played Cousin Oliver, appeared on John Denver's variety show several times and won a John Denver Look-Alike contest.

This story gets stranger by the minute.

 

A bunch wasnt enough?

Here's my biggest complaint about The Brady Bunch:

The show ran for five seasons.  The writers had six kids, two parents, a housekeeper, a dog and a butcher to work with, not to mention a host of special guest stars ranging from Joe Namath to Desi Arnaz, Jr. to Vincent Price. 

And yet yet they still needed to add stupid cousin Oliver to the mix in order to have enough material.

Weak.