Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 565

White people choose Presidential candidates

Iowa and New Hampshire, with their early caucuses and primaries, often play enormous roles in determining our Presidential candidates (as you probably know).  Many a Presidential hopeful has resigned after failing to perform well in one of these two states. 

The demographics of the two states, according to the 2010 census, are thus:

Iowa is 92% white, 3% black and 5% Hispanic.

New Hampshire is 94% white, 1% black and 2% Hispanic.

Nationally, the United States is about 72 % white, 13% black and 16% Hispanic.

The next Republican primary state is Wyoming.  It's demographics are 90% white, less than 1% black and 8% Hispanic. 

Food for thought in terms of the representative nature of these critical states in the primary process.

And she wanted to wait in the car

Clara and I arrived at the store.  I parked the car.

"Okay, sweetie.  We need to go inside and pick up my tuxedo. Then we can go to lunch."

"I'll wait in the car," she said.

"What?"

"I want to wait in the car, Daddy."

I couldn't believe it. She was reading a Clifford the Big Red Dog book and had no desire to exit the vehicle.  It was the first time she had ever asked to remain in the car alone.

She sounded more like her mother than any other time in her life thus far.    

I admit that for a moment, I considered granting her request.  I figured that if I entered the store and remained by the door, with one eye on the car while the salesman retrieved my tuxedo, she would be fine.

This is why mothers exist. I knew that Elysha would kill me if she ever found out what I had done. 

And it turned out pretty great for Clara, who discovered the mirrored platform used by the store's tailor, which she mistook for her own personal stage. 

It took me about fifteen to extract her from "the stage" and exit the store, and only after agreeing to dance with her in front of an audience of salesmen and customers.  

Resolutions that didnt make the list in 2012

In deciding upon this year's New Year's resolution, several were discarded for a variety of reasons.  Among them were the following:

Lower my total cholesterol to under 200.

My current total cholesterol is 203, which is 3 points higher than the desirable level.  My LDL (the bad cholesterol) is 113, which places me in the "near ideal" range, and my HDL (the good cholesterol) is 73, which is outstanding.  Overall I lowered my total cholesterol by about 12 points in 2011 and would like to bring my total cholesterol and LDL levels into the ideal range in 2012.

I did not make this a New Year's resolution, however, because I have no simple way to measure my progress.  I will have another physical with my doctor at the end of 2012, at which time my cholesterol will be measured again, but I will be flying blind during the twelve months between physicals, thus making it impossible to track my progress. 

I intend on lowering my cholesterol in 2012, but it did not qualify as a formal resolution.

Write and perform a 5-10 minute standup comedy set in 2012.

I would like to attempt standup comedy someday, but with the amount of writing already on the docket in 2012 (too much in my wife's estimation, especially with the arrival of Baby #2 in June), in addition to the storytelling that I intend on doing via The Moth and other unexpected opportunities, I thought that this goal would only hinder me from completing others.

Perhaps 2013 will be the year of comedy.

Launch a proposed business venture with a close friend.

A friend and I have a possible business idea on the drawing board that we hope to launch in 2012, but there is great uncertainty in terms of the viability of the business, so it was not a resolution to which I was willing to formally commit in 2012.  I suspect that if the business proves to be viable, it will launch this year, but it's equally likely that we will deem the opportunity not worth our effort and time. 

Read a specific number of books in 2012.

Several people suggested this resolution to me.  Two years ago I established the goal of reading a dozen books published within the calendar year (and achieved the goal fairly easily), but that goal was set in order to force me to read more current material.

My attitude towards overall reading has always remained the same:

Read as often as possible in 2012.  The number of books doesn't matter if I am reading as much as I can.  Therefore no resolution is needed.

Spend X amount of time with Clara and Baby #2.

Several people suggested resolutions pertaining to time spent with Clara or equity of time and attention in terms of the coming baby.  My attitude towards my daughter (and my future child) is similar to my attitude in regards to reading:

Spend as much time as possible with my daughter, and starting in June, with both children. Setting a goal would imply that I am failing to spend enough quality time with Clara already, and this simply is not the case.

Therefore no resolution is required. 

In terms of resolutions from the previous year, the following were eliminated from the list in 2012:

Drink at least four glasses of water per day.

I accomplished this goal in 2011, and while I will likely continue to drink more water than in previous years as a result of this resolution, the medical benefits of drinking four (or in some cases, eight)  glasses of water were proven to be nonexistent.

Naturally, that research was not released until after I had begun filling up on water every day.    

Make one mortgage payment from poker profits.

With the amount of writing that I expect to do in 2012, combined with the arrival of Baby #2, I do not anticipate having the time required to attempt this resolution again.

One caveat:  Online gambling, including poker, was legalized in the United States at the end of 2011. If this opens the door to more legitimate online poker websites with cleaner, faster interfaces and more trustworthy business models, I may be able to take on this goal once again.  

Replace the twelve ancient windows on the first and second floor of the house with more energy efficient ones.

I failed to achieve this goal in 2011, and while I would still like to see this work done, Elysha and I may move in a year or two, making the investment significantly less important. 

Elysha will also be staying home from work for the majority of 2012, which will undoubtedly make money tight.  This is therefore no longer the priority that it once was.   

New Years Resolutions 2012

The following are my New Year's resolutions for 2012.  I reserve the right, as always, to add or revise this list for one week following posting.

Suggestions are still welcome.   

1. Don't die.

This was suggested to me by a reader, and I can't believe I didn't think of it myself. 

It's my most important resolution. 

2. Lose ten pounds.

Losing ten pounds will bring me down to 170 pounds, which is well under my high school track and field weight. But my doctor informs me that my ideal weight is 170 pounds.

I think she's crazy. 

Nevertheless, I agreed to set a goal of 175 pounds in 2012. 

3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a day.  Also complete at least two two-minute planks five days per week.

This goal is similar to one I successfully accomplished in 2011.  Instead of completing these exercises daily, I've built in two recovery days this year and added the plank, an exercise that I once did frequently when I worked with a trainer.   

4. Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

This is a goal that I failed to complete in 2011. 

5. Complete my fifth novel before the Ides of March.

My fifth novel, THE PERFECT COMEBACK OF CAROLINE JACOBS, is almost half finished.  I've given myself 75 days to complete it. 

6. Complete my sixth novel. 

Relying heavily on my summer vacation, I intend on completing my sixth novel by the end of 2012. 

7. Sell one children's book to a publisher. 

I have three children's books in various stages of revision.  My goal is to sell at least one of them to a publisher in 2012.        

8. Complete the book proposal for my non-fiction, photographic  collaborative project.

Completion of this goal will require coordination between me and my partner, which did not happen in 2011. 

9. Complete three chapters of my memoir.

According to my outline, my memoir will likely be about twelve chapters long.  My goal is to complete one-fourth of the memoir in 2012.

10. Complete at least twelve blog posts on my brother and sister blog.

While prodding is still required, my sister has become fairly reliable in terms of writing for this blog.  One entry per month is a reasonable goal, though ideally I would to post more often than this.  

11. Become certified to teach high school English by completing two required classes. 

With the certification test passed, I need only to complete two classes in order to become certified to teach English in grades 6-12.  While I am not planning on moving away from the elementary classroom, I like to keep my options open.  I will begin my fourteenth year of teaching elementary school in 2012, and there may come a point when I desire a change.  I want to be prepared for that moment. 

12. Publish at least one Op-Ed in a newspaper.

My hope is that I will have more opportunities to accomplish this goal with the publication of my next novel in August or September of this year. 

13. Attend at least five Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

I would attend every Moth event if it wasn't so difficult to drive into the city on a weeknight.  Five is a reasonable number, though there is no guarantee that I will be able to tell a story every time.  There are typically about fifteen names in the hat, and ten are randomly selected to tell a story.  But I will give myself at least five chances in 2012.  

14. Complete the necessary revisions of our rock opera (The Clowns) so that it can be staged as a full production in the fall.

Revisions are required in order to prepare the script for what we hope will be a full production in the fall. 

15. Rid Elysha and myself of all education debt before the end of the year.

In 2011, we eliminated more than half of our sizable education debt.  In 2012 I would like the remainder of that debt to be eliminated.   

16. Give yoga an honest try.

I have been critical for yoga for years but have never actually attempted yoga (a source of consternation for my yoga-loving friends).  I intend on correcting this in 2012 by participating in at least half a dozen yoga classes in order to gain a better understanding of it. 

17. Meditate for at least five minutes every day.

This goal was recommended by a handful of readers, so I thought that it was worth investing five minutes a day in order to see if meditation could make a difference in my life.  This will require learning how to meditate, so it may be a month or so before I actually begin meditating. 

18. Agree to try at least one new dish per month, even if it contains ingredients that I wouldn't normally consider palatable.

My wife would like an opportunity to prepare foods for me, and vegetables in particular, in ways that I might find more palatable.  I agreed.

To start off the New Year right, I tasted and liked the cauliflower potatoes and butternut squash risotto that was served at our friend's wedding on New Year's Eve, even though I do not like cauliflower and squash in their unadulterated forms.

19. Conduct the ninth No-Longer-Annual A-Mattzing Race in 2012.

If you're not sure what an A-Mattzing Race is (and are curious), I'll write a blog post later this week that will describe the event.  I was surprised to discover that I have never written about them before on this blog.

More than three years have passed since the last A-Mattzing Race (the last race took place in September 2008), and while all good things must come to an end, I am not ready to allow this part of my life to come to a close yet.  

20. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

C-L-A-R-A spells Clara

My daughter and I were having lunch at Red Robin.  We were coloring on some paper that the waiter provided.

 

Clara said, "Daddy, make a C right there!"

I did.  She often assumes a dictatorial tone when coloring.  Unsatisfied with her own ability to formulate letters and stay within the lines, she often delegates the responsibility to me and Elysha (with great specificity).    

"Now make an L, Daddy!  Right there!"  She pointed at a spot beside the C.

I complied.

"Now make another A, Daddy."  She pointed to the spot next to the L.

Her use of the word another is still somewhat random, but I understood what she meant.  I complied again, failing to catch on to what was happening. 

"Make an R, Daddy!" she said.  "Here!" 

Now I understood.  I made the R. 

"Make another A, Daddy!"

I did. 

I was stunned.  My two-year old girl had spelled her own name. 

Or more aptly, she had commissioned the spelling of her own name.   

I still can't believe it.  They learn so fast. 

If bacteria can solve it, how challenging can it be?

I have always thought that Sudoku was stupid.

In terms of productivity, it is time spent and mental energy expended with nothing to show for it. 

Yes, the solving of the puzzle probably exercises your brain in some way, but I believe that there are more productive, more meaningful ways to exercise your brain that ultimately result is something more significant than a square filled with numbers.

Plus it's just a dumb game.

And now I've learned that a strain of Escherichia coli bacteria has been engineered to solve Sudoku puzzles.

Kind of makes the puzzle seem even stupider now. Huh?

Quality family time

When my family gets together for the holidays,  they really know how to enjoy one another's company.

Cheesy, over-the-top, obnoxious nonsense

How does one possibly explain this?

Is it a Miami thing?   
Or a Miami Heat thing?
Or a Lebron James thing?

I spent some time this morning viewing several other NBA team's introduction videos (many of them can be found on YouTube), and unlike the Heat's video, every one that I watched featured highlights from the previous year.  Three-point buzzer beaters, thunderous two-hand jams, behind-the-back passes and the like.

Nothing like this. 

After last year's media fiasco involving the introduction of LeBron James and Chris Bosh to the Miami Heat fans (below), how could the Miami Heat media relations people actually this intro video was a good idea?

Or maybe it was a good idea. 

Maybe this kind of thing plays well in Miami. 

Oy.

Resolution update: 2011 in review

The following is the December update and end-of-year review of my 2011 New Year's resolutions. 

I am currently in the process of deciding upon my 2012 goals and will post them later in the day.

Of my twenty-one New Years resolutions established at the beginning of 2011, fifteen were successfully completed.  One was partially completed, and five were not.    

Of the goals achieved, I am most proud of my 23 pound weight loss (bringing my total weight loss to to 54 pounds over a period of two years), my storytelling success at The Moth, and the staged reading of my rock opera, The Clowns.  I thought that each of these goals would be especially difficult to accomplish in 2011, so their completion was very satisfying to me. 

Of the goals I failed to complete in 2011, the failure to complete my fifth novel looms large as I work hard to finish.  While there were mitigating factors that interfered with my ability to finish the book (detailed below), it should still be done by now.  I have too many other books that I am excited about writing to fail to complete a book in 2011.    

I also wish that I had done better with my goal of re-learning the flute.  With just an hour each week, I could have ended 2011 playing the flute again at a fairly proficient level.  This was a doable goal that I simply failed to take seriously.

The success or failure of each individual resolution is as follows: 

1.  Lose 23 pounds, bringing me down to my high school track and field weight.

Done.  My weight at my physical on Thursday was 184.2 pounds.  It took all year, but mission finally accomplished.  

2.  Do at least 50 100 200 push-ups and 50 100 sit-ups a day.

Done. I missed six days of exercise in December due to pneumonia, but other than days missed due to illness throughout the year, I was successful in achieving this goal in 2011.  In fact, I raised the initial goal of 50 push-ups and 50 sit-ups to 200 and 100 respectively.   

3.  Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

Not completed.  I did not practice in December, and for the year, I practiced for a total of six hours. This goal was far from accomplished. 

4.  Find a wine that I can drink every night or so.

Done.  Chianti is now my wine of choice. 

5.  Complete my fifth novel.

Not completed.  This goal was not accomplished for several reasons. 

There have been a variety of unexpected demands placed upon me with the publishing of my next novel, and each of these required surprisingly large chunks of my time. 

I also switched novels midstream, eventually returning to the original concept after three months of indecision.  I wrote enough words in 2011 to constitute at least one novel, but unfortunately those words are spread between three incomplete manuscripts. 

6.  Complete and submit one children's book to my agent.

Done. Revisions of both of my stories continue, and a new story is underway.  I hope to have at least one of these books accepted for publication in 2012, and I plan on attending a children's literature and publishing conference next April. 

I'd like to take my career in children's literature much more seriously in 2012.

7.  Complete the book proposal for the non-fiction collaborative project that I began last year.

Not completed.  My partner and I simply did not connect in 2011.  Meetings were scheduled, rescheduled and ultimately cancelled.  We are both extremely busy people who live in different states, but I am still disappointed that this project did not get off the ground in 2011.    

8.  Complete an outline for my memoir

Done. A more targeted approach to the writing of this memoir will begin in 2012.

9.  Convince my sister to write on http://107federalstreet.blogspot.comat least once a week and do the same myself.

Done. Posts continue to hit the blog on a fairly regular basis.    

10.  Drink at least four glasses of water every day.

Done.

11.  Complete at least one of the three classes required for me to teach English on the high school level.

Done.  As stated last month, I originally needed to complete three classes in order to receive my certification, but after jumping through some administrative hoops and providing the state with documentation, I only need to complete two classes now.  Therefore, resolution accomplished.

I also passed my English certification test with flying colors, scoring 191 out of a possible 200 points despite not studying for the test.

Several people told me that it was foolish to take this test without studying, making this one of my most satisfying achievements in 2011.

Spite makes everything better. 

I hope to be certified to teach high school English by the end of 2012. 

12.  Try liver.

Done. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either.

13.  Publish an Op-Ed in a national newspaper.

Done.  Unexpectedly.  In a manner of speaking)  In December, I wrote a blog post on suggested holiday gifts for teachers, and that post was picked up by a writer at the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel and quoted heavily in the paper and on their website, with links back to my post.

I wasn't planned, but my words managed to find their way into a newspaper after all.  I also have a piece currently on submission to the Hartford Courant and await word on the possibility of its publication.   

14.  Participate in The Moth as a storyteller, at a live show or on their radio broadcast.

Done. In November, I told a story at my second StorySlam and my third Moth event of the year. I attended a fourth Moth StorySlam last week, but unfortunately my name was not drawn from the hat, so I was unable to tell my story.

Still, three opportunities to tell a story and one victory was an enormous accomplishment for me in 2011 and has led to unexpected opportunities in 2012.  The Moth has become an important part of my life, and I hope that it remains so for a long, long time.     

15. See our rock opera (The Clowns) performed on stage as a full production or in a dramatic reading format.

Done.  Since the reading in October, we have heard from two local theaters that may be interested in a full production of the show, and things look serious for a fall performance.

16.  Organize my basement.

Done.  Thanks to the breakdown of my car yesterday, I finished this job.  Items still need to be thrown away, but even the throw-away piles are organized now.    

17.  Land at least one paying client for my fledgling life coach or professional best man business.

Done.  Working with my client has been a thrill, and I have learned a great deal from the process as well.  Helping someone to achieve his goals demands a great deal of introspection, and this has been beneficial to me as well.

It also appears that I will be taking on my second paying client in 2012.

18. Rid Elysha and myself of all education debt before the end of the year.

Partially completed.  We eliminated well over half of our education debt in 2011.  While we failed to pay off all of our student loans, we made significant progress.

19. Replace the twelve ancient windows on the first and second floor of the house with more energy efficient ones.

Not completed.  The funding for this never became available. 

20. Make one mortgage payment from poker profits.

I end the year with 28% of a mortgage payment in earnings, a far cry from my goal.  A lack of time to play poker contributed heavily to this failure. 

21. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Skype and Facebook do not mitigate the absence of a loved one, and it was stupid of Roger Angell to assert otherwise

I am going to criticize the madeleine sensibility and shortsightedness of this The New Yorker piece tomorrow, but for now, I 'd like to take issue with Roger Angell's lament over the loss of soldiers writing actual letters from the battlefield. 

Angell writes:

Twenty years ago, many of us got a whole new sense of the Civil War while watching and listening to Ken Burns's nine-part television documentary, which took its poignant tone from the recital of Union and Confederate soldiers' letters home. G.I.s in the Second World War wrote home on fold-over V-Mail sheets. Troops in Afghanistan and, until lately, Iraq keep up by Skype and Facebook, and in some sense are not away at all.

While I have no friends or family members currently serving overseas, I have had my fair share of students whose parents and relatives have served in Iraq and Afghanistan, and I can assure Mr. Angell that these mother and fathers and aunts and uncles are in every sense of the word away, regardless of how often their image may appear on a computer screen or how often they may update a Facebook page.  

To state otherwise is stupid.

I can't imagine how that sentence found its way past an editor or any other reasonably minded person at The New Yorker.