Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 507
October 23, 2012
I am not a member of Crystal Method.
I was standing in line at the rental counter in San Jose this weekend, waiting to pick up my car and begin my trip to Santa Cruz. Standing directly behind me were fans of my work, a husband and wife, who later explained that they didn’t say hello because they were in a debate over whether I was Matthew Dicks, the writer, or a member of Crystal Method, the electronic duo whose music has appeared in numerous TV shows, films, video games, and advertisements.
The wife argued that I was Matthew Dicks. The husband argued that I was a member of Crystal Method.
Naturally, as soon as I returned to my hotel, I searched for images of Crystal Method to see if I should be offended.
I’m not sure if I actually look like either of these guys, but at least they both look fairly ordinary and are slightly younger than me. Not a definitive victory, but at least they weren’t debating if I was Weird Al or a member of Flock of Seagulls.
I think it’s more tragic that my first chance to get recognized in public as an author didn’t happen because someone confused me for a pair of musicians who I had never heard of until this weekend.
My wife recently had a much better experience in terms of being recognized. As she was chatting with strangers in a coffee shop, she happened to mention that she was a teacher at our school. One of the women said, “Oh, you work at the school where that famous author teaches.”
“I’m married to that famous author,” Elysha said.
Elysha later told me that this was her favorite part of her day, despite the stranger’s inaccurate estimation of my level of fame (or lack thereof).
Much better than being mistaken for someone else.
October 22, 2012
Hop on Pop indeed
Dr. Seuss cheated on his wife, Helen Palmer Geisel, while she was battling cancer and other related illnesses.
Then she committed suicide.
Less than a year later, Dr. Seuss married his mistress.
The dashboard is no place to roll back technology in favor of tradition
My rental car from the weekend, a Chrysler 200, was equipped with only an analog clock in the dashboard, even though the radio mounted directly below the clock had a digital display.
I can’t begin to imagine the amount of pretentiousness required in order to eliminate the digital clock entirely from the dashboard.
It’s akin to having an actual Rolodex mounted onto my iPhone rather than an app to organize my contact list.
Which is another way of saying it’s incredibly stupid.
October 21, 2012
Never doubt a librarian
Apologies to the Denver Public Library for the previous post today.
A librarian kindly explained the purpose of the stamp placed upon my orphaned book:
The stamp is a quick way to let people know not to return it to the library. Many times public libraries buy several copies of a book when it is new and popular, but after circulation decreases, one or more copies might be removed to allow for more rooms on the shelves since most libraries don’t have unlimited space.
More importantly, a search of Denver’s catalog reveals that that they still have 3 copies of UNEXPECTEDLY, MILO, 1 copy of SOMETHING MISSING and a whopping 32 copies of MEMOIRS OF AN IMAGINARY FRIEND (only 8 available).
I don’t know how I ever doubted them.
An old friend returns
Last night I signed a copy of my second novel, UNEXPECTEDLY, MILO, which the reader purchased at a garage sale in California.
The book had originally been purchased for the Denver public library but is now stamped with the words NO LONGER PROPERT F DENVER PUBLIC LIBRARY.
What I want to know is this:
Does the Denver public library still have a copy of this book on their shelves, and if not, what the hell? It’s a good book.
More importantly, why bother stamping the first page with that message?
It’s akin to dumping your boyfriend and tattooing “This guy was just dumped by his girlfriend” on his forehead.
Not nice.
My million dollar deal
When George Lucas visited Steven Spielberg on the set of Close Encounters of the Third Kind in 1976, he was so impressed by the movie’s huge sets and Spielberg’s vision that he bet Spielberg that the film would become a bigger hit than his own space movie that he was just completing at the time.
The bet was an exchange of 2.5 profit points on Close Encounters of the Third Kind for 2.5 profits points on Lucas’s film — titled Star Wars.
This actually turned out to be a good deal for both men. The money earned from Close Encounters of the Third Kind helped to keep Lucas’s studio afloat in a times of need, and the profits from Star Wars are still being realized by Spielberg today.
My friend and I have a similar bet. Several years ago we agreed to pay 10% to the other person if we ever made one million dollars on a single transaction. My friend is a landlord and property owner and I was school teacher with a dream of finishing his first novel.
It seemed like a great deal for me at the time.
When I told me wife about the bet a few years later as I began publishing novels, she was none too pleased.
Unfortunately, neither one of us has come close to having to fulfill our end of the bet, nor does it look like we will be doing so in the near future, but if I am ever required to hand over $100,000, it won’t hurt too much.
The other $900,000 will be comfort enough.
I think she’s in a boat.
I haven’t seen my little girl in three days. I’m heading home today.
I can’t stand being away from this level of cuteness:
October 20, 2012
Sibling love
We are incredibly fortunate that our children love each other as much as they do. It’s truly amazing.
I realize it won’t always be this way, but don’t be a jerk and ruin it for me. Just let me enjoy it for a while.
Reverse napping: Science says yes.
In addition to gaining coverts, it turns out that there is actual science behind the Reverse Nap.
From a Wikipedia entry on segmented sleep:
Historian A. Roger Ekirch argues that before the Industrial Revolution, segmented sleep was the dominant form of human slumber in Western civilization. He draws evidence from documents from the ancient, medieval, and modern world, which he discovered over the course of fifteen years of research. Other historians, such as Craig Koslofsky, have endorsed Ekirch’s discovery and analysis.
According to Ekirch’s argument, typically individuals slept in two distinct phases, bridged by an intervening period of wakefulness of up to an hour or more. Peasant couples, who were often too tired after field labor to do much more than eat and go to sleep, awakened later to have sex. People also used this time to pray and reflect, and to interpret dreams, which were more vivid at that hour than upon waking in the morning. This was also a favorite time for scholars and poets to write uninterrupted, whereas still others visited neighbors, or engaged in petty crime.
Did you see that?
“This was also a favorite time for scholars and poets to write uninterrupted…”
I’m not a scholar and only a hack poet, but still, that’s me!
There is also a TED Talk on the subject:
In truth, I’m not sure how I feel about this.
While it’s rewarding to know that science supports my idea of the Reverse Nap, I’m a little disappointed that the idea does not appear to be originally my own.
In a perfect world, preeminent scientists and researchers would have read my blog, been intrigued by my idea, and conducted a massive study to confirm the validity of my idea.
Instead, it seems as if I have stumbled upon something that others stumbled upon previously.
Decidedly less rewarding.
