Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 472

Children swallowing poisoned beads was not my original plan. I swear.

In 2012 I participated in the Books on the Nightstand Booktopia event in Santa Cruz, California. The culmination of the weekend is an event called the Celebration of Author, wherein each author speaks for about ten minutes.

My talk, as well as that of author Cara Black, was broadcast on the Books on the Nightstand podcast this week. I spoke about the importance of reading Shakespeare by telling some amusing stories from fifteen years of teaching Shakespeare to elementary students.

You can listen to my talk (as well as Cara’s) here.

Jumping out of a plane without a parachute is dangerous enough. Adding an additional layer of danger is just stupid.

I am not an overly cautious person. I have experienced my fair share of danger over the years.

I have almost died more than anyone I know.

I’m the only person I know who desperately wants to play tackle football with his friends.

I wear a helmet while riding my bike but only to set a good example for my students and children. If I wasn’t directly associated with so many kids, there is no way that I would be strapping that stupid thing to my head.

I have a book idea that would place me in a significant amount of danger in order to write. And I plan on doing it.

Despite my occasionally dangerous lifestyle, I think this is stupid. It’s amazing and daring and utterly mesmerizing, but it’s too much of a risk.

It’s unnecessarily dangerous. It’s stupidly dangerous. I do not approve.

The Kobo eReader: Better than paper? Probably not. But incredible.

I own a Kindle. I tried to use it. I did not like it.

It turns out that I prefer paper. Paper is my friend.

This, however, could be a game changer.

Okay. Probably not. But still. It looks fantastic.

Better than paper? Probably not. Probably.

I own a Kindle. I tried to use it. I did not like it.

I like paper. Paper is my friend.

This, however, could be a game changer.

Okay. Probably not. But still. It looks fantastic.

I understand your pain, Beaver College.

Beaver College, in an attempt to eliminate ridicule and boost enrollment, changed its name in 2001 to Arcadia University.

At the time of the name change, University President Bette Landman said that the old name “too often elicits ridicule in the form of derogatory remarks pertaining to the rodent, the TV show Leave It to Beaver and the vulgar reference to the female anatomy.”

The problems with the name worsened with the rise of the Internet, as many filters intended to screen out sexually explicit material blocked access to the Beaver College website.

I understand this dilemma. While it does not happen often, my emails are occasionally captured by spam filters because of my last name.

Always looking for a means of turning a negative into a positive, I have occasionally used this last-name-spam-filter excuse in order to garner forgiveness and even sympathy from someone who I have forgotten to email or reply to.

It’s not actually “trouble” if all your boss did was yell at you.

Trouble is a matter of perspective.

When a fellow teacher tells me that he or she “got in a lot of trouble” for failing to complete a task or adhere to a policy, this most often means that the principal has spoke to the colleague and warned him or her against committing the offense again.

I do not think of this as trouble. I think of this as being spoken to by your boss.

Early in my career, when I was less subtle and considerably less intelligent, I would point this out to my colleagues, failing to realize that many of them graduated from high school and college with 4.0 GPAs, spotless disciplinary records and lists of extra-curriculum activities a mile long.

In this regard, I guess that being called into the principal’s office for a verbal reprimand could be considered trouble.

They’ve never been suspended from school as a student. Caught selling term papers to fellow classmates. Received in-school suspension for damaging school property. They never received a report card with an F or even a D. They’ve never been arrested by the police. Had the police break up a party in their apartment. Been tried in a court of law. Faced a prison sentence. They’ve never been fired from a job or had their career threatened in any meaningful way.

Trouble is a matter of perspective. When you come from a background like mine (as described above), a verbal reprimand does not constitute trouble. It’s merely a verbal reprimand. A reminder about what you’re supposed to be doing. Or what you’re not supposed to be doing.

For some (and to their credit), a verbal reprimand is the most trouble that they have ever experienced.  

That said, even with a pristine record, I still  have a hard time accepting the idea that your boss’s expression of disapproval constitutes trouble.

The Moth: Charitable Contributions

On August 14, 2012, I took the stage at The Moth StorySLAM at Housing Works in Manhattan to tell a story. The theme of the night was About Time. 

I placed second on the evening, losing by a tenth of a point (again) to Moth legend and my personal storytelling hero Steve Zimmer.

Here a recording of the story I told that night:

Speak Up storyteller: Ellen Painter Dollar

Less than a month to go before our inaugural Speak Up storytelling event at Real Art Ways in Hartford, CT. May 4 at 7:00 PM. Admission is free. Today I’m proud to introduce our fourth storyteller, Ellen Painter Dollar.

_____________________________

Ellen Painter Dollar is a writer who focuses on disability, faith, parenting, and ethics. She blogs for Patheos (a religion and spirituality web portal) on these topics and more, with a particular interest in the ethical questions raised by modern reproductive and genetic technologies.

Ellen believes that telling and listening to stories is the only fruitful way to have meaningful conversations around difficult questions facing our culture. Most of her writing consists of telling stories (her own and others’) rather than taking sides or arguing positions.

Her first book, No Easy Choice: A Story of Disability, Parenthood, and Faith in an Age of Advanced Reproduction (Westminster John Knox, 2012) tells her story of growing up with a disabling bone disorder, and having three biological children, each of whom had a 50 percent chance of inheriting the disorder.

Ellen lives in West Hartford with her husband and three children, who are 13, 9, and 7. Having recently received the astoundingly depressing first-year sales numbers for her book, Ellen’s current goal as a writer is to “go big or go home,” meaning she is working to reach more and wider audiences, impress editors, and even get paid now and then.

Ellen Painter Dollar, Writer
Author of No Easy Choice: A Story of Disability, Parenthood, and Faith in an Age of Advanced Reproduction (Westminster John Knox, 2012)

Co-founder of #It Is Enough, an informal coalition of Christians using social media to keep issues around gun violence and the need for stronger gun laws on the national agenda. 

www.ellenpainterdollar.com

Spamming scumbag of the week

Each week, amongst the many interesting, insightful and occasionally scathing comments on my blog, I find comments by businesses and/or spammers who are clever enough to construct comments that avoid spam detection technology.

I delete these comments and ban their IP address, but I know that I will be doing the same thing again tomorrow for a new spamming scumbag.

In response, I write a post each week that highlights these businesses that either engage in this spamming behavior on their own or have hired spammers to do it for them. My intent is to shame these vile companies and cause them to reconsider their means of advertising in the process.

I realize that both goals are unlikely to be achieved, and that even mentioning them in a post boosts their SEA, but doing so makes me feel good, and that is enough.

This week I present The Snore Center, a diagnostic and treatment center located in Calgary, Canada, that deals with sleeping disorders and spams bloggers’ comment sections in order to improve their SEO. 

I suggest that you aggressively ignore The Snore Center (which happens to be an incredibly stupid name) you take your business to The Center for Sleep instead. Located five miles from The Snore Center, The Center for Sleep offers the identical services as The Snore Center plus more, including treatment for restless leg syndrome and periodic limb movement, both of which fascinate me.

Granted I might find these disorders less fascinating if I suffered from either one.

Random thoughts and observations from a weekend spent with authors and readers

Booktopia, the annual weekend retreat in Vermont that brings authors and readers together, has come to a close. Hosted by Ann Kingman and Michael Kindness, producers of the Books of the Nightstand podcast, it has become one of our favorite weekends of the year.

As I sit at my dining room table on Monday morning, I reflect back on some of my thoughts and lessons from this amazing weekend.

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Two authors compared the release of their books as a wedding day. I must assume that this is a female thing.

I think of a book release more like opening day of the baseball season.

Let the competition begin.

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Steve Yarbrough and I have identical writing processes. Identical. I feel like slightly less of a hack today thanks to Steve.

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I heard three writers talk about how their first books brought validation to the time spent away from families, friends and other pursuits, as well as self-assurance about their standing as a writer. I suspect that this is also a more typical female reaction.

Sometimes the arrogance, selfishness and self-centeredness of the average American man makes life a little easier.

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Listening to Nichole Bernier talk about how she finds the time to write with a large family and other obligations was a lesson for all. She doesn’t watch television. She apologizes for her messy house. She has given up on running a marathon. She strips her life of things that do not contribute to the pursuit of her goals. It’s impressive. Possibly insane. But that’s the life of a writer.

So many times I hear would-be writers say they just don’t have the time to write. I asked this question at a writing session this weekend:

Would you rather get out of bed at 6:00 AM every day for the next year and have no book written at the end of the year or get out of bed at 5:30 AM every day for the next year and have a book in your hand when the year is finished?

Everyone can sacrifice 30 minutes of sleep in pursuit of their dream.

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Author Jon Clinch and I have a book idea that will hopefully expand the base of male fiction readers.

This should be easy, since none exist.

This is an exaggeration, of course. Of the approximately 100 Booktopia attendees, there were was a solid five or six who were not female.

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A tip I learned while listening to Will Schwalbe speak to readers during one of his author sessions:

Will asks just as many questions of his audience as they ask of him. It’s a generous and genuine way of engaging people in the discussion and something I should do more often.

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I was both surprised and entertained by the debate over how readers and authors should handle online reviews of books. It was one of my favorite moments of the weekend. For a few seconds, I thought we might have actual fisticuffs, which would’ve been AWESOME.

A Booktopia rumble.

I think Ann Kingman would’ve kicked all our asses.

I have my own opinions on the subject and will save them for a post later this week.

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It’s often said that publishing is a small world. It’s true.

It turns out that author Will Schawlbe is my editor’s former boss. Unfortunately, Will was too much of a gentleman to offer me any embarrassing stories about Brenda.

Also, author Amy Brill has been serving on The Moth’s advisory council for years and is telling her first story onstage on Tuesday night. Sadly, Amy and I kept missing chances to chat this weekend, and I didn’t learn about her Moth connections until after she had gone home.

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I listened to two female authors speak about the challenges involved with balancing their writing life with their various other roles, including those of mother and wife.

I found the inclusion of the role of wife interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a man talk about the demands associated with his role as a husband.

I’m not sure what this means. Perhaps men simply don’t speak so openly about these demands as often. More likely women are more thoughtful and considerate than men.

I’ll continue to think about it.

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Combining 19 people at three separate tables on one $600 check was a terrible decision by our waitress. Failing to inform us of this lunacy prior to doing so was inexcusable. Explaining that we could each pay cash or simply divide the total by 19 was insulting.

Yes. I’m still annoyed about this.

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A couple of years ago I wrote a post about all the jobs that I’ve had over the course of my lifetime. After listening to author Chris Pavone speak on Saturday night about the multitude of jobs that he has held during his lifetime, I’d love to see him write a similar (albeit considerably longer) post.

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I have always believed that one of the best questions to ask a person when getting to know them is about the path that led them to their current job. Paul once again proved me right on Saturday night. His paperboy-turned-wholesale produce manager was one of my favorite stories from the weekend.

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My wife is not afraid to speak in public. In a few weeks, she will be hosting our first Speak Up storytelling event at Real Art Ways.

Still, I was shocked when she rose from her seat in the audience on Sunday morning, walked over to Booktopia co-host Ann Kingman, and demanded the microphone so that she could thank Ann and Michael for the incredible weekend they give to us each year.

I was less surprised when she became verklempt while speaking and had to tag-team her closing remarks with author Nichole Bernier. She’s as easy to make cry as Ann Kingman.

Still, had you told me that my wife would spontaneously offer the closing remarks for Booktopia 2013, I would’ve thought you crazy.

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Both of our children slept through the night for the three nights that they spent with the in-laws. Charlie even napped fairly well.

   

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I left Vermont thinking that if I didn’t have to spend so much time writing, I might be able to read as often as these crazy book fanatics. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?