Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 471
April 22, 2013
Unscripted Star Wars genius
On this week’s episode of Parks and Recreation, Patton Oswalt guest stars as a resident who invokes a bylaw about citizen filibustering to delay a city council vote. The show’s producers gave Oswalt full creative power for the scene, asking him to simply “ramble a bit about whatever subject he wanted.”
And he did — about Star Wars.
For a full eight minutes, Oswalt lays out a potential, detailed plot for the next installment of the film (he even threads in Disney elements, due to the recent acquisition of Lucasfilm).
It’s pure genius.
Speak Up storyteller: Kim Damokosh
Two weeks before our inaugural Speak Up storytelling event at Real Art Ways in Hartford, CT.
May 4 at 7:00 PM. Admission is free.
Today I’m proud to introduce our fifth storyteller, Kim Damokosh. Her bio was written by her teenage daughter, Emma. _____________________________
My mom, Kim Damokosh, is a woman of many personalities. At work she is a high- powered consultant that brings many a man to their knees with her ferocious negotiation skills.
Meanwhile, at home she must corral her incorrigible teenaged kids. She is a hard-core tiger mom with the best of intentions.
However when it comes time to let loose, laughter ensues after every sentence she utters. She must be a chef, a chauffeur, a teacher, therapist and a personal assistant all at once. She is a loving mom and wife whose motto for life is “Work hard, play hard.”
Love makes up for a lot.
Our cat is annoying.
He bothers us while we sleep.
He bothers us while we are awake.
He eats plastic and cashmere.
He bites when over-stimulated.
He throws constantly (though admittedly less often).
He refuses to jump up on the counter for his food, even though he is perfectly capable.
His one saving grace is that our children love him, and he somehow knows enough not to bother them in any way.
My daughter calls him “the big, handsome boy.”
Our son would appear to agree.
April 21, 2013
The genius and insight of Dove is unparalleled
I would love to work for Dove. The things that Dove has done in terms of women and beauty are masterful.
This video is no exception.
As a man, I find it so hard and so potentially treacherous to comment on the problems (as I see them) in terms of women and image perception. But having worked almost exclusively with women for more than twenty years (including attending an all-women’s college), I think I have a perspective worth sharing (if not always appreciated).
Dove seems to strike the perfect tone every time. I do not.
If you love this as much as I do, you can see the full documentary here.
My middle school visit included a comparison to a Boston mobster, an accusation that I am old and time spent in the ladies restroom
I spent the day at a middle school in New Hampshire on Friday, talking to students about writing.
A few notes from the day:
1. I started the day by accidentally walking into the ladies restroom. It’s bad enough that I do this in malls, libraries and other public locations, but a middle school is especially egregious, for many reasons.
In my defense, there was no signage denoting the appointed sex of the restroom. There was a blue and a pink stripe that I failed to notice.
2. One of the students compared me to Boston mob boss Whitey Bulger.
3. Another student repeatedly and spitefully referred to me as Mr. Green, using my British pseudonym.
4. Another student asked how old I was. When I asked her how old she thought I was, she said thirty. But it was clear that in her mind, thirty meant seventy. The implication was that I was old.
5. Another student accused me to oversharing personal information with the class. He was clearly uncomfortable when I explained that I started writing in high school in order to impress girls.
6. In general, middle school boys are a difficult lot. They are a group of slouching, pen-clicking, lazy-eyed disaffected kids who still have a great deal of growing up to do. I still cannot imagine how they ever manage to catch up to girls by the end of high school. Some of them are barely human.
7. Middle school girls are much less definable. Some are painfully enthusiastic. Others are reticent and withdrawn. Many seemed excited about learning. All were more willing than boys to open up and take risks.
8. Middle school students (at least at this particular school) are better writers than I would’ve ever imagined. I was impressed with their creativity and ability to communicate in the written form. I saw genuine talent in all of the sessions that I taught.
April 20, 2013
Kid words for future characters
I keep a list of all the invented and divergent words and phrases that my daughter uses in hopes of sprinkling these gems into future dialogue.
Two that I recently added to the list are pancholeen and last day.
Panchleen is the word that Clara uses for trampoline.
Last day is the phrase she uses for any day prior to today. Without a good understanding of time, any day before today is last day.
I love this phrase. I’ll be so sad when she stops using it.
Dinosaur wrangler
My favorite part of this picture is how my daughter took immediately control of the situation.
If the dinosaurs come back they would…
“What would they do? Hell no. I’d put that dinosaur on a leash and take it for a walk. No dinosaur’s going to wander around my neighborhood.”
Or something like that.
April 19, 2013
The Moth: Science Fair Cheater
On August 23, 2012, I took the stage at The Moth StorySLAM at Housing Works in Manhattan to tell a story. The theme of the night was Yin/Yang.
I told a story about cheating in my high school science fair and unintentionally doing well.
I placed second on the evening, losing by a tenth of a point to Moth legend Steve Zimmer. It was the second StorySLAM in a row that I had lost by a tenth of a point to Zimmer.
Here a recording of the story I told that night:
April 18, 2013
New best headline ever
Back in 2011, I proposed that this was the best headline ever:
Teen Burglar Kills Goldfish Because He Didn’t Want To Leave Any Witnesses, Cops Say
Two years later, we have a new headline champion:
Fear not. Video is included with the story.
Children swallowing poisoned beads was not my original plan. I swear.
In 2012 I participated in the Books on the Nightstand Booktopia event in Santa Cruz, California. The culmination of the weekend is an event called the Celebration of Author, wherein each author speaks for about ten minutes.
My talk, as well as that of author Cara Black, was broadcast on the Books on the Nightstand podcast this week. I spoke about the importance of reading Shakespeare by telling some amusing stories from fifteen years of teaching Shakespeare to elementary students.
You can listen to my talk (as well as Cara’s) here.
