Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 297
October 3, 2016
Disillusioned by the Presidential election this year? Vote for Clara.
Clara just hung this on the pantry door and announced that she's running for President of the Upstairs.
"Upstairs needs some rules," she says.
Her platform:
Make your bed. (which she does not do)Put away your books. (which she does not do)Cuddle your stuffed animalsGive kisses and hugs at bedtimeShe's currently keeping 50% of her promises.
Not bad for a politician.
October 2, 2016
It's true. I hate strangers because of what they love most.
I'm a reluctant atheist (I wish I had faith in a higher power but haven't managed to find it yet), but I can certainly get behind the belief that hate is never a good thing and should be avoided whenever possible.
I also agree with this church sign when it comes to football season. Football makes it very hard to avoid hate.
Particularly when dealing with the fans of the Jets, Ravens, and any team coached by Rex Ryan.
Today I'll be watching the Patriots battle the Buffalo Bills, a team coached by Rex Ryan. I'll try not to say anything too terrible.
October 1, 2016
Resolution update: September 2016
1. Don’t die.
Survived four days at Camp Jewell with 103 fifth graders. I got a cold but that was it.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
STILL 17 pounds down for the third month in a row. Just three to go.
3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a week.
Done.
4. Practice yoga at least three days a week.
I took my daughter to Pajama Yoga in September. It was not fun, and it probably doesn't count.
WRITING CAREER5. Complete my fifth novel before the end of February.
Done!
6. Complete my sixth novel.
I have two novels that are more than halfway finished and one that is finished but requires a complete re-write. However, I'm not sure if any of these will be my next novel. I am completing final revisions on my next book, so I can't make that decision until the process is complete.
7. Write a proposal for a middle grade novel.
Done! The agent and her team love the book. Some minor revisions are needed, and then we hope to have an offer.
8. Write at least three new picture books.
One of my now former students and I are writing a picture book. Now that we are back in school, work has commenced again.
I am also editing two previously written picture books.
The other new picture books will be written during this school year.
9. Complete a book proposal for a book on storytelling.
Done! Four chapters, an outline, and comparisons have been re-sent to my agent. She LOVES it. Hopefully a publisher loves it just as much.
10. Write a new screenplay
No progress yet.
11. Write a musical for a summer camp
Done! I had the pleasure of watching the musical performed at the summer camp at the beginning of the month, and it was fantastic.
12. Publish at least one Op-Ed in The New York Times.
I've submitted two Op-Ed pieces to the New York Times and been rejected both times.
I am now working on a new piece.
13. Publish an article in an educational journal.
No progress yet.
14. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.
No progress yet.
15. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.
I spent a week backing my car into parking spots (which initially struck me as insane) and wrote about it in August. It actually received a lot of attention from readers.
In September I engaged in a month of daily affirmations. I will be writing about this experience in October.
I need to select one more behavior that I oppose before the end of the year. Suggestions are welcomed.
16. Increase my author newsletter subscriber base to 1,000.
Done! My subscriber list now stands at 1,135 readers. I've gained almost 400 subscribers in 2016.
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17. Collaborate with a former colleague on an educational book.
This project has been cancelled. After meeting with my collaborator, we determined that I am not best suited for this project.
STORYTELLING18. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.
Done!
We produced shows at the Connecticut Historical Society and the Cragin Memorial Library in September, bringing our total number of shows to 14 in 2016.
19. Deliver a TED Talk.
Done twice over!
I spoke at TEDxNatick in January. The title of the talk was "Live Your Life Like Your 100 Year-Old Self." Here's the recording:
I also spoke at the TEDx conference at The Country School in Madison, CT in April. The title of the talk was "Speak Less. Expect More." Here is the recording:
20. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
Done! In September, I attended Moth StorySLAMs at Laugh Boston and Housing Works in NYC.
This brings my total number of Moth events in 2016 to 21.
At Housing Works, I had the pleasure of witnessing what I think was the lowest score ever assigned to a story:
21. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.
I attended two StorySLAMs in August. My name was pulled from the hat once.
And I won. I finally broke through in 2016.
I have attended a total of 17 Moth StorySLAMs in 2016 thus far but only performed four times. The results of this year:
I had my named pulled first, making it almost impossible to win.I tied for first (and lost on the tiebreaker). I finished in second place.I finished in first place.Even with my recently victory (my 24th overall), it's been a tough 2016. In previous years, my name has been drawn from the hat better than two-thirds of the time. Having my name come out of the hat less than 20% of the time - particularly when every slam requires about five total hours of driving - isn't exactly inspiring.
22. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
Done! I won the Moth GrandSLAM in Somerville in March.
23. Launch at least one new podcast.
Background work (podcast logo, hosting service, website, etc.) continues. I've also begun recording and structuring shows for the future.
I'm really close. Also excited.
24. Launch a storytelling project that I will otherwise remain vague about here but will become a primary focus of 2016.
Work on this project has begun in earnest.
NEW PROJECTS25. Host at least one Shakespeare Circle.
No progress.
26. Learn to cook three good meals for my wife.
I cooked two new meals for Elysha in August thanks to Blue Apron and a friend who was kind enough to pass on meals to me.
I made barbecue pork burgers with onion straws and corn on the cob. I also made curried catfish with coconut rice, green beans, and a raisin chutney.
I could easily make both again.
One meal to go.
27. Plan a 25 year reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
I'm still seeking a location for the reunion near the Heavy Metal Playhouse (since the apartment complex does not have a room to rent) and will then decide upon a date.
MISCELLANEOUS28. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.
No progress.
29. Optimize our television for a streaming service.
I'm hoping Elysha will take care of this during the fall.
30. Set a new personal best in golf.
I played a lot of golf in September.
As stated previously, I have begun a serious and committed change of my swing under the guidance of a friend who also happens to be an outstanding teacher. As a result, I am hitting the ball farther, higher, and less consistently.
As a result, I scored exceptionally poorly in August but am hitting the ball better than ever before.
31. Play poker at least six times in 2016.
I played one game back in April. I need some people who want to play.
32. Do not speak negatively about another person's physical appearance except when done in jest with my closest friends.
Done.
Here's a potentially new idea for next year:
I will not comment on physical appearance - good or bad - in any way unless I am speaking to my wife and children. I already adhere to this policy in the classroom as a teacher, so why not expand it throughout my life?
My goal is to reduce the amount of attention paid to physical appearance in this society, shifting attention to things that truly matter: words and actions. I understand that one man's crusade may not change the world, but perhaps it will change my world and influence those around me.
Change often starts small, many times with one person. And I believe in this cause.
I'm not sure about this goal yet, but I'm considering it. Thoughts?
33. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.
Done.
September 30, 2016
Twenty-five years spent standing in a parking lot
I'll be tailgating in the parking lot at the Patriots game on Sunday. I have seen many things in the decades I have spent tailgating at Gillette Stadium.
Public intoxication. Nudity. Fist fights. Fender benders. Lobster shell distance throws. A Christmas tree labeled "Trebow" that was set afire and nearly burned several dummies to death in the process.
I've bribed parking attendants. Trudged through snow up to my waist. Sent a soon-to-be-exgirlfriend back to the car at halftime when she could no longer endure the freezing rain and demanded to be brought home. Pushed my pregnant wife up the ramps to our seats with the help of my friend, Shep.
Even after a quarter century of attending New England Patriots football games, I still see things while tailgating that surprise me.
Like this:
A comfortable place to sit prior to the game and perhaps an efficient way to get rid of an old piece of furniture at the same time.
Killing two birds and such.
September 29, 2016
Does the dog die? We need to know.
I Am Legend is a post-apocalyptic science fiction film loosely based upon Richard Matheson’s novel of the same name. It stars Will Smith as one of the few survivors of a plague that has killed most of humankind and left many in a zombie/vampire-like state. It opened to the largest ever box office for a non-Christmas film released in December and was the seventh highest grossing film of 2007.
The film also sold 7 million DVD's, making it the sixth best selling DVD in 2008. However Warner Bros. was reportedly “a little disappointed” by the film’s performance in the DVD market.
And I’ll tell you why sales were disappointing.
The dog.
While helping to save Will Smith’s character from certain death, his dog becomes infected with the virus, and after much consternation, Smith’s character is forced to put the animal down.
It is the scene that prevents me from ever watching this film again, and I suspect it’s the scene that has suppressed DVD sales and has kept the film from being plastered all over the basic cable channels like so many other of Will Smith’s blockbuster movies.
It’s not the violence or gore of the scene, because there is none.
It’s because no one wants to see a dog die.
It’s that simple.
Kill mothers and fathers and children galore, and people will be more than happy to watch the movie again and again.
Smith’s blockbuster Independence Day is a perfect example. Millions of people are killed in that movie, including the President’s wife, who dies tragically under the watchful eyes of her husband and daughter.
A father gives up his life while his son listens on and a best friend dies while Smith’s character looks on and can do nothing.
And like I Am Legend, there is a dog in that movie, too. Once again, it’s a dog owned by Smith’s character. In fact, the two dogs look so much alike that they could be the same dog.
Perhaps they are.
And guess what?
The dog in Independence Day survives.
It appears in the final scene of the film.
Independence Day airs on basic cable all the time.
Warner Bros. left a lot of money on the table when they decided to kill that dog in I Am Legend.
For a great many people, including me, that film became unwatchable the second time around.
If you're worried about watching a movie in which a dog dies, there's a solution for you:
This website offers three ratings on films:
No pets die.A pet is injured or appears dead but ultimately lives.A pet dies.Don't be surprised by the untimely death of a dog, or even a cat, a hamster, or a goldfish anymore. Go into every film prepared for the possible death of a beloved pet.
Or avoid the movie altogether.
If you search doesadogdie.com for I Am Legend, you will find this entry:
"Dog is infected by a zombie-esque virus and is killed by her owner."
Sounds pretty unwatchable to me.
September 28, 2016
An important lesson for all public speakers, storytellers, and the poor souls who must conduct meetings
I love this church sign.
I love it because it's emblematic of one of the most important lessons for all public speakers and storytellers:
Say less.
Shorter is better.
Fewer words rule.
The 20 minute commencement address is almost always better than the 40 minute address.
The 30 minute meeting is almost always more effective than the 60 minute meeting.
The six minute story is almost always better than the 10 minute story.
And yes, the shorter sermon is always better than the longer sermon.
The longer you speak, the more engaging, amusing, and captivating you must be. That's a tall order. Those are high expectations. Most people are not engaging, amusing, or captivating by nature.
But that's okay. Like the sign says, you don't have to be nearly as good if you can be quick.
Shorter is also harder. I often tell storytellers that it's easy to tell an 8-10 minute story. Almost anyone can find a way to get from beginning to end in 10 minutes.
But it's hard to tell a 5-6 minute story. It means making difficult choices about what will stay and what will go. It requires careful crafting and clever construction. Words and phrases must be expertly manipulated. Your choices must be spot-on.
But the results are often superior.
One of the most popular stories that I tell is about four minutes long, and while the story is good and actually won a Moth StorySLAM, I remain convinced that audiences like it because it's short. I pack a ton of suspense and humor and heart into four minutes, making the story seem exceedingly satisfying.
I could easily turn that four minute gem into a longer, more complex story, and I nearly did when The Moth asked me to tell it on their Mainstage. I began expanding the story, finding areas to explore in more depth, and while the results would have been excellent, I think the pace and hilarity of the story might have suffered greatly.
Ultimately, we decided on a different story for that Mainstage show, so I never had the chance to see the results of the longer story.
But here is what I know:
The longer you speak, the more perfect and precise you must be. The longer you stand in front of an audience - whether it be a theater or a boardroom - the more entertaining and engaging your words must be.
So speak less. Make time your ally.
September 27, 2016
Four pieces of debate advice for Hillary Clinton. Someone please pass this post onto her people.
It demonstrates Trump-level hubris to suppose that I might have something to say about Hillary Clinton's performance during the debate last night, but at the risk of sounding a little too certain of myself, I have a few notes for Clinton that I think would help a lot.
And while I'm sure that she has incredibly skills experts working with her, I have spent much of my life preparing for arguments like these. I have been debating lunatics for years. Going toe-to-toe with anyone who I could find. I started battling my evil stepfather at the tender age of eight and have been battling ever since.
I've been training for a debate like this for all my life.
I was also the Connecticut collegiate debate champion two years in a row.
This is something that I do well.
I've reached out to the Clinton campaign via Twitter with all sincerity, hoping that they will contact me and hear what I have to say, but if not (and it's highly unlikely), here are a few things I would tell her.
I've got more - including things that she did very well that she should continue doing - but these are four of the best pieces of advice I have.
____________________________________
Your website fact-checking idea was a good one. Many people watch television with a laptop in front of them, and this idea creates a second channel, not bound by space or time, for viewers to hear from you. However, when you introduce it - and you should again at the next debate - you must do so forcefully. Say it like you mean it. Last night you made it sound like an after-thought. You actually laughed a little while explaining it. Instead, say this:
"Look, this debate is only 90 minutes long, so there is no way that I am going to be able to refute all of the lies that Donald has told and will undoubtedly continue to tell tonight, so please, go to my website, where we will debunk his lies in realtime. We cannot allow falsehoods to stand when so much is at stake."
Say that with force. Say it like it is a moral imperative.
____________________________________
Open more your statements with a single word or phrase like "Look" or "Let me explain something to you" or "Make no mistake about it." Even stating the moderator's name, as if you are speaking to him or her, works well. Trump either does this naturally or understands the value of focusing an audience on him. Short, imperative words and phrases like these do that. They command attention. Too often you are easing into your point, slow at the start and gaining momentum throughout. Instead, open with a punch. A single word or phrase that commands the audience's attention and demonstrates authority and the importance of what is to come.
____________________________________
When Trump is categorically lying, like when he states that he opposed the Iraq War from the onset, a simple and effective way to dismiss this lie is to turn one of his own tactics against him. Trump loves to imply that everyone is in agreement with him. He uses phrases like, "People tell me..." or "I'm hearing from a lot of people..."
Do the same. Say this:
"It doesn't matter what Donald says was his initial position on the Iraq War. We all know what the truth is. The American people decided that issue a long time ago."
Not only will this put Trump in opposition with the American people, but it will likely poke the bear, because one of the best ways to hurt an opponent is to use his words or strategies against him. And this is a bear you want to poke. You want to knock him off his game. You want him to get angry. You want him to show his true colors.
____________________________________
Trump scores points when he talks about your 30 years in office and how much time you've had to fix America but haven't. You must have a rebuttal for this, and the rebuttal is simple and should come in three parts.
Use a different rebuttal each time he brings it up.
1. State your achievements over the last 30 years.
Say this:
"If Donald is going to blame me for everything that has gone wrong since I entered public office, then I deserve to take the credit for what has gone well."
Then start listing these things. Trump says the country is a disaster. This is your chance to point out all the incredible things that have been achieved while you have been in office.
2. Trump presents a simplified version of the government. He presents an image of the world in which walls that America doesn't pay for can be built and concessions can be added to international negotiations with ease. He wants people to believe that you could've fixed the world over the last 30 years but didn't. This is the time to expose his inexperience.
Say this:
"Making deals with countries in possession of nuclear weapons or attempting to develop nuclear weapons is not the same as making deals with architects who you then stiff or big banks looking to make a buck on the backs of the American worker. You don't get to declare bankruptcy and start over when dealing with a country like Iran or Russia or North Korea or China. These are not countries that can be pushed around like the painters and builders who you push around daily. But you don't understand that, because while I have been serving America for 30 years, traveling to 112 counties, negotiating complex deals that you would never understand with people you have never met, and sitting in rooms watching and waiting and praying while American troops are risking their lives going after the likes of Osama Bin Laden, you have been dodging income taxes, appearing on reality TV shows, and closing failing casinos. This world is a complex and changing place, Donald. You don't understand that, and you never will."
Say that, damn it. Just like that.
3. Make damn sure that you point out that government is a three branch system, and no matter what you want to do, you need Democrats and Republicans to come together to do so. In the last 30 years, we've had Republican Presidents, as well as Senates and Houses controlled by Republicans. Don't let him hang every failure on you.
Say this:
"This is not a monarchy, Donald. Or a dictatorship. Perhaps you need a lesson on civics. You're not happy with the last eight years of the Obama presidency? Your own party has made it their point to oppose anything that our President has attempted to make happen. They stated this explicitly before he ever came into office. It's a miracle that he's done as much as he has. And when John Boehner attempted to reach across the aisle and make a deal with Democrats and make government work again, your party threw him out."
Not only will this tie Trump to Republican obstructionism, but it will also demonstrate that there are Republicans who are willing to make government work again. Good Republicans who we need in office. Just not Republicans like Donald Trump.
If you really want to get daring (and you should, you could add:
"I feel bad for my Republican friends. People like ... (list well known Republicans who you can call your friends) who deserve better than this. These are people who have been serving our country for years. People like John McCain who you don't consider a war hero. And now they are tied to a man who calls women pigs and believes that judges can't be impartial because they are of Mexican descent. They deserve better. The country deserves better."
September 26, 2016
Verbal Sparring: If you don't like it, leave.
"If you don't like it, leave," in all its variations, is a coward's argument. It's an argument made by people who are afraid of debate, don't understand logic, and want to escape the fray as quickly as possible.
"If you don't like, leave," implies that arguing for change is not permissible.
"If you don't like, leave," implies that dissent is unwarranted.
"If you don't like, leave," implies that diversity of mind is out of bounds.
There are many responses to this ridiculous argument and arguments like it.
Refuse: "No, I'm not going to leave. I'm going to fight."
Make the logical argument: "Telling me to leave implies that dissent and change are not permissible here. That is nonsense, of course. Change is constant, and it only comes through a diversity of opinions. This is not North Korea."
NOTE: This argument does not work in North Korea.
Attack: "It sounds like you're afraid of debate. Maybe your ideas suck and you know it. Maybe I intimidate you. Maybe you know that you're standing on shaky ground. Either way, I'm not taking my toys and going home because I'm not afraid of a good argument and a weak-willed sap like yourself."
Historical: "If that was an actual argument, then it would stand to reason that anytime someone was not happy with a policy or position, they should leave. Women don't like receiving 70 cents on the dollar? Leave. African Americans don't like separate but equal? Leave. A soldier doesn't like a general's decision? Leave. That's just stupid. It's not how the world actually works outside of your head."
I tend to favor the attack strategy, but that may just be my nature.
September 25, 2016
Unfair assumption: The more you have on your business card, the less I think about your professional ability
When you hand me your business card, I expect to see your name and your contact information.
That's it. That is the purpose of a business card. It serves as a reminder of your name and a means by which to contact you.
If your business card is glossy and contains an image of you or anything else other than your contact info, I can't help but think that you don't know what you're doing.
That you're trying way too hard.
That you lack savvy and professionalism.
This rule applies to musicians, actors, authors, and other performers, who seem to specialize in the glossy color photo business card.
This is the one exception, of course.
September 24, 2016
Complimenting an item of clothing is the lowest form of compliment
I love the message that this cartoon conveys, but I just wish it wasn't all about the hat.
Complimenting an item of clothing is the lowest form of compliment, which is why it's so easily applied to strangers.
If you don't know the person, it's easy to comment on their relatively irrelevant exterior since their interior is oftentimes impenetrable, especially when time is limited.
Still, I avoid this lazy form of compliment at all costs. Having vowed to never make a negative comment about a person's appearance ever again, I've slowly begun avoiding comments on physical appearance altogether. In fact, with the exception of my wife and children, I have managed to avoid any comment on physical appearance - positive or negative - for more than two months.
This does not mean that I have forgone complimenting people. I simply look for things that actually matter, which for me is what a person says or does.
That's it. This is what I choose to care about and choose to focus on.
My podcast host, Rachel, recently cut off a bazillion inches of hair off her head. Not only did I not notice the change (which was admittedly a little bizarre), but I had to explain to her that even if I had noticed the change, I probably would've said nothing about it because I don't care about her hair at all.
Not one bit.
So yes, we all have the power to brighten someone's day with a well placed compliment, and I utilize this power whenever I can, usually in the form of a hand written note, a well timed email, or a public proclamation of achievement. Last week, for example, I complimented a camp counselor on her expertise with my students, but I waited until her boss was standing alongside us to do so.
Timing is everything.
Compliments are great. I love to offer them and love to receive them. I encourage you to compliment me often. I just believe in making compliments as meaningful as possible.
A hat just doesn't do it for me.
