Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 228

We were all changed forever.

Elysha and I took the kids to an outdoor concert on the lawn at Elizabeth Park last night. It's a Wednesday night tradition at the park, but my book tour, travel schedule, and poorly-timed rainstorms have kept me from attending a single concert this summer. 

I was excited to go.  

It was also about 90 degrees and muggy. Elysha actually proposed that we go on an ice cream adventure instead, but the kids and I wanted to go to the concert (and knew I could get soft-serve ice cream there), so to her credit, she agreed. 

As soon as we arrived, she was happy to be there. The air was a smidgen cooler than an hour before, and within seconds, she had found people who she knew and was chatting away. I took the kids for ice cream and Italian ice at the snack shack, and I, too, met some friends.

On the way back from the snack shack, I ran into a couple whose wedding I had officiated and DJ'd exactly ten years ago. They were celebrating their tenth wedding anniversary at the concert and couldn't believe that they had run into me on this special night.

I also met people who attend Speak Up shows, parents from the school where I teach, and a gentleman who attended one of my workshops last year and was still looking for the courage to tell a story.

I gave him a firm nudge. 

A while later, Elysha left to use the restroom, and about three minutes after that, I heard the first rumble of thunder. I looked at the radar on my phone and saw the gap between two thunderstorms - one to the north and one to the south - narrowing rapidly. 

"When Elysha gets back, we might need to go," I thought.

A minute later, I watched as a streak of lightning appeared in the sky, not too far off, followed by an enormous crack of thunder. Charlie leapt into my lap and began crying. Clara offered her brother some comfort, and then a few seconds later an even louder crack of thunder erupted in the sky. Clara was in my lap in a flash, crying as well.

We have tough kids. 

I saw the clouds pouring in from the south and began willing Elysha to hurry. She was undoubtedly chatting with the nine thousand people who she had walked by and knew. I thought about packing up and being prepared to sprint as soon as she returned. While everyone around us was drinking wine, eating cheese, and relaxing without a care in the world, I was mentally urging my wife to hurry.

I knew what was coming.

Also, my children were still weeping in my arms.  

Then I saw Elysha, strolling in our direction. When she arrived at the blanket, I said, "We should go." I turned to point to the clouds behind us, and that's when I saw the wall of water making it's way across the field in our direction.

It was too late. It was one of those moments when it's not raining, and a second later, it's raining as hard as it possibly can. The children erupted into fits of crying and weeping as we were instantly soaked. Thunder cracked again. Lightning, too. I grabbed our blanket and food bag, and Elysha grabbed the kids hands, and we were off. 

We scurried past people who had placed their lawn chairs over their heads. Past people who had thought ahead and popped open umbrellas. Folks who hid under blankets and some who just stood in the rain, laughing. We ran past people huddled under a tent. Women who were suddenly and unexpectedly participating in a wet tee-shirt contest. Children who were slipping and sliding in the wet grass.  

We crossed the field and then the road and were making our way through the perennial garden toward the tree line and the path that would lead us to the street and our car when Elysha and I told the kids to stop crying. We'd had enough.

"We're having an adventure!" Elysha shouted, and that was it.

Both stopped crying. Clara started laughing, and Charlie instantly became mesmerized by the torrents of rain running down the path. "It's like a river!" he said. "And erosion!"

They talked and giggled and smiled all the way to the car. 

We couldn't have been more wet as we drove home. A few minutes later the rain slowed to a drizzle and then a trickle, and finally it stopped. That's when we saw the first of three rainbows that night. Three rainbows in the sky that the kids declared "beautiful" and "so pretty."

Later, after I peeled off Charlie's wet shirt, he said, "Dad, I feel kind of different."

"Yeah?" I asked. "How so?"

"I don't know," he said. "Just different. Like a different me."

I'm not sure what he meant, and I'm not sure he knew, either.

But I understood. I felt different, too. Elysha was right. We had an adventure. For the rest of our days, the four of us will always remember the night in Elizabeth Park when the skies opened up, spewing forth thunder, lightning, and sheets of rain, followed by rainbows. It will be the night when Elysha declared that "We are on an adventure," and for some reason, in an instant, our children agreed.

And were happy again. 

I'm not a skateboard guy, but I think this is remarkable.

I'm not a skateboard guy, and I've never been a skateboard guy. I've always seen skateboarding as a series of bad equations:

Enormous amounts of time invested in learning and practice in exchange for the ability to ride on an inefficient means of transportation and perform a few dangerous, not-so-impressive tricks.

Hours of potential fun spent on concrete in exchange for the very real chance that you scrape, bruise, or break several parts of your body.

It just made no sense. 

Then I saw my neighbor riding his skateboard to work one day, and I thought, "It still took hundreds of hours of practice to do that, and it's still dangerous, but on a sunny day in May, not a bad way to get to work."

Still not enough to make me want to ride a skateboard, but at least a slightly improved impression of the sport.

Then my daughter and I watched this skateboarding video, which is unlike anything I have ever seen. The combination of outstanding digital videography (which allows you to see these tricks in their true majesty), the latest skateboard technology, and this person's mind-blowing skill on a board mesmerized us.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  

I've never been a skateboard guy, and I'm still not a skateboard guy, but I'm a guy who apparently likes to watch people skateboard now.

Or at least this guy. I've watched the video three times already. 

"Tears in the Rain" monologue captures it all

When all is said and done, we are the sum of our experiences. Our thoughts and feelings - who we are and what we believe - are the result of the memories that we carry forward of a life lived. Our minds are a vast storehouse of the millions of minutes that we have been alive.

This is why the loss of someone like my mother was so tragic. Every question that I failed to ask my mother will remain forever unanswered. Every memory that I failed to pry from her mind will never be spoken again.  

My children were born after my mother had passed away, so as I experienced fatherhood for the first time and began to wonder if the things I see in my children were also present in me as a boy, I must resign myself to the fact that I will never know. The person who carried this information is gone.

When a person dies, it's like the wiping of a precious hard drive. The loss of valuable data. Memories so strong and so true gone forever.

It's awful. 

Even worse, so many of us plod through life, careless with our memories. We experience a moment of beauty or grace. Someone says something that causes our heart to soar. We experience a moment with our spouse or child or parent that we never want to forget. But instead of seeing the priceless nature of these moments and holding onto them with all our might, we discard them like trash. A brilliant, beautiful moment that feels as important as anything that has ever happened to us is forgotten three weeks later as life continues to pile up and we fail to reflect, record, and preserve. 

Our minds of filled with memories, but the number of memories that we have allowed to fade away is astronomical. We forget so much more than we remember, even when these forgotten moments are profoundly beautiful or incredibly moving.  

This is why I do Homework for Life. It's the most important thing I do. This is why the collection of storyworthy moments from my life that I have amassed over the past five years is the most valuable thing I own. 

Seeing, recognizing, capturing, and preserving the most meaningful moments from my life takes less than five minutes a day, yet it is the most important thing I do every day. 

If you're not familiar with Homework for Life, you want watch my TED Talk on the subject here: https://bit.ly/2f9ZPne

A reader who also does Homework for Life recently pointed me to the final scene from Blade Runner, known as the "Tears in the Rain" monologue. In the scene, the dying replicant Roy Batty delivers the speech to Rick Deckard moments after Batty saved his life despite Deckard being sent to terminate him. 

In five simple sentences, the replicant makes it clear that he also understands how life is but the sum of our experiences. He understands the value of a lifetime of memories. And he certainly understands the inherent tragedy of death, not only in the loss of the person, but also in the loss of the sum of their experiences. The deletion of their memories forever.  

It's s devastating scene. Terrible and tragic. You need not watch the film or even understand the nature of the memories that the replicant lists to understand the sadness and tragedy of the moment.

A replicant is engineered to remember everything. It has a super-human mind. It is a Homework for Life machine.

For the rest of us? We need to stop discarding our moments of beauty, poignance, heartbreak, and discovery like trash. We need to see, recognize, capture, and preserve. 

We are the sum of our experiences. Make that sum as large as humanly possible, and you will be a more thoughtful, more complete, and a happier human being.

Speak Up Storytelling #12: Jeni Bonaldo

Episode #12 of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast is ready for your listening pleasure. This week we're joined by storyteller Jeni Bonaldo, whose story we listen to and critique.

We start by talking about finding and crafting stories in your everyday life using my strategy "Homework for Life." I talk about how a story can be about more than one thing, and part of the decision-making process is deciding what your story needs to be about. We also talk about how to remember stories for the stage.

Next, we listen to Jeni's story about pretending to be someone she was not and the surprising results. Then Elysha Dicks, Jeni, and I discuss the strengths of his fantastic story as well as suggestions for improvement.

Finally, we answer a listener questions about preparing stories for the stage and dealing with stage fright and offer some recommendations.

If you haven't subscribed to the podcast in Apple podcasts (or wherever you receive your podcasts), please do. And if you haven't rated and/or reviewed the podcast in Apple Podcasts (who are the best people ever), we would love it if you did.

Ratings and reviews help listeners find our podcast easier, and it makes us feel better about ourselves and our work.

Taco Bell vs. Ben & Jerries vanilla ice cream: It's not even close

My friend was recently teasing her husband for his love of Taco Bell. The gist of the teasing was this:

Taco Bell's food is bad for you. You shouldn't eat it. 

I'm not a fan of the elevation and denigration of certain foods, for many reasons, but here's one reasons that annoys me most of all:

So much of what we think about food isn't dictated by the quality or even the taste of food but instead by cultural and familial norms, childhood indoctrination, preconceived notions, the media, and more.

The classic example of this is lobster. Back when lobster was so plentiful that catching one was simple and the cost of lobster was low, Americans despised lobster. In fact, servants' contracts often stipulated that lobster could only be served once per week. 

Lobster was considered a trash fish. 

Later, when lobster became more difficult to catch due to overfishing and costs skyrocketed, Americans decided that lobster was delicious. Suddenly a food that servants refused to eat became a delicacy. 

Is lobster objectively delicious? Maybe, but if it really was tasty, why did Americans initially despise the food? And why do most people dip their lobster in butter before eating? Is there any other food that must first be entirely coated in butter? Can any food be objectively delicious if the vast majority of people who eat it must first submerge it in liquified fat?

It's at least worth a bit of skepticism, yet tell a lobster fan that their appreciation for the food might not have a lot to do with the actual taste and they will reject that possibility with the fire of a thousand suns.   

The same holds true for wine. In study after study, economists have shown that even the most sophisticated of wine connoisseurs cannot reliably differentiate between a $150 bottle of wine and a $15 bottle of wine in double blind taste tests. 

We should all be drinking $15 wine. If the experts can't tell the difference, we certainly cannot. Yet tell a wine snob about those economists and their studies, and they reject those ideas as rubbish and claim that they can absolutely tell the difference between cheaper and expensive wine.  

Americans used to hate tomatoes. Why? No one grew tomatoes in America, so when they first arrived, people found them to be inedible. 

It's predicted that our great grandchildren will be eating insects like we eat chicken, but most of us cannot fathom getting most of our protein from beetles. But it's likely that Americans of the future will look back on us and wonder why we had such an aversion to insects. 

We have to at least acknowledge that what we think about food is suspect. That taste is only one of several factors, and that preconceived notions, cultural norms, family history, the media, and what we want to be true influence the way we feel about food enormously.

What you think about a certain food item and the reality of that food item are often two entirely different things.  

Here is what I told my friend when I heard her denigrating her husband's love for Taco Bell:

The most popular item at Taco Bell, the Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Tacos, has fewer calories, less fat, less sugar, more protein, and less cholesterol than a single scoop of Ben & Jerry's vanilla ice cream.

A SINGLE SCOOP OF VANILLA.

In fact, it's not even close. Here are the nutrition facts of the two items side by side. Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Tacos on the left. Ben and Jerry's vanilla on the right. 

Not even close.

Yet Ben & Jerry's has a sterling reputation and Taco Bell does not.

A single scoop of vanilla ice cream on a summer day sounds lovely. An excellent choice. A measured choice. It's not a hot fudge sundae or a scoop filled with chocolate chip or cookie dough or a caramel swirl. It's just plain vanilla. 

Hell, it's only one scoop. 

But if you're on your way to purchasing a quart of Ben & Jerry's and your spouse calls and says, "Instead of ice cream tonight, I want a Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Taco. Can you grab one on the way home?" you might think your spouse is crazy. You might think that this choice is far less healthy than a single scoop of vanilla ice cream.  

In fact, Elysha and I had recently joined my friend and her husband for ice cream at one of these farms-turned-ice cream shack. There was no talk about the healthiness of the ice cream we were eating. No denigration of the calorie and fat-ladened food that we were all ingesting. In the light of a late summer day, surrounded by a barn, a silo, grass, rocks, and sky, that ice cream seemed heavenly.

Can you imagine what might have been said had I suggested we go to Taco Bell instead?

Can you imagine what might have been said at that picnic table had I asked if my cone of cookie dough ice cream was healthier than Taco Bell's Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Tacos?

Am I saying that Taco Bell's Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Tacos are a healthier choice than a single scoop of Ben and Jerry's ice cream?

No. There's a lot more to food than a nutritional label. What are the ingredients? Where were they sourced? Under what conditions was the food prepared?

What I'm saying is that Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Tacos might be a healthier choice, and if it's not, it's a hell of a lot closer than most people would suspect. 

I'm saying that when it comes to food, the truth is often a lot more complicated than we think. What our eyes, noses, and taste buds tell us is rarely the whole truth. What common sense tells us is sometimes nonsensical. 

Perhaps a spouse's love for Taco Bell might actually be a healthier, tastier, cheaper alternative to something that you perceived as healthier and better. 

If you can at least acknowledge that your love for lobster and expensive wine might not be entirely based upon taste and that Taco Bell might be a healthier choice than vanilla ice cream, then you might also be a person who is less likely to denigrate a good choice and more open to looking at a nutrition label, asking a few questions, and entertaining the idea that what we think about food is a lot more complicated than we think.

This is not my doing

Me: "What book do you want to read tonight?" 

Clara (age 9): "I have a rather lengthy book on Edgar Degas. I think it’s very interesting. What do you say?" 

I'm raising a child who I would’ve bullied as a kid.

Help! Some kind of voodoo priest is trying to change my life!

I met a woman in Michigan who told me that she performed improv with Second City in Chicago a few years ago.

"Why dd you stop?" I asked.

She explained that she moved north to Michigan for work, and there is no real improv scene in her area. She still loved performing improv when she left Chicago, but there's just no opportunity for her anymore. 

"Then you need to create an opportunity," I said. "You need to start something here."

She paused for a moment. Thought. Then smiled. She said, "Yeah, maybe. That's not a bad idea."

"No maybes," I shot back. "Do it. You need to do it now. Don't wait for some other day. Go home tonight and take one small step forward. Choose a name. Create a logo. Make a list of possible venues. Call ten people who might want to perform. Get started today."

"Maybe," she said. "It's a good idea."

"Stop saying maybe," I demanded. "You need to do it now. Too many people put off the hard, important, scary things that could change their lives forever. Don't be one of those people. Don't find yourself five years from now regretting this moment in this hallway when you could've done something great. Go home tonight and do something."

"Help!" she shouted, leaning into the office space adjacent to us. "Some kind of voodoo priest is trying to change my life."

Then she fled. 

Two days later, I ran into her again in the same hallway. I repeated many of the same things. She said she was "seriously thinking about it," which sounded pretty terrible to me. Lots of people "seriously think" about things and then live lives of quiet desperation. Fail to make their dreams come true. Lie in their death bed regretting all that could have been. 

Instead of "seriously thinking," she needed to be "seriously doing."

"Okay, okay," she said, not sounding as committed as I wanted.  

I left Michigan that day.

Three days later I mailed her a two-page letter reminding her that someday is today. "Get to work. Stop making excuses. Stop 'seriously thinking about it' and start making your dreams come true."

Our only guarantee in life is that that someday it will end. The rest is up to us. We need to make the beauty and magic and art in our lives real. We have to stop saying that someday we'll do something and instead make that someday today.

She probably thinks I'm crazy. She might even believe that I'm a voodoo priest. Maybe she's right. I sent a person who I knew for all of three minutes a letter demanding that she stop spinning her wheels and build something. Create an opportunity. Perform.  

Maybe I am a little crazy. I don't care, just as long as she starts that improv troop and takes the stage as soon as possible. 

Add "voodoo priest" to my already long list of job titles if that's what it takes to get you moving. 

My daughter has a full time job (in her estimation, at least)

Clara was helping Elysha get dinner on the table. Putting out plates and silverware. Pouring milk for her brother.

Then she sighed and said:

"I’ve only been helping you for two or three minutes, and it already feels like a full time job that I’m not getting paid for." 

I was both appalled by the massive overstatement of the work she had just done and impressed by her desire to be paid for her efforts. The girl might have a horribly skewed understanding of what amounts to a full time job, but no employer is ever going to get away with not paying her a fair wage. 

There is nothing wrong with Bigfoot erotica

Virginia Democrat Leslie Cockburn is accusing her Republican opponent, Denver Riggleman, of being a “devotee of Bigfoot erotica” based on screenshots he appeared to have posted of a Bigfoot with a large penis.

Yes, Bigfoot erotica is a thing. If you'd like to do a deep dive on the subject, Katie Heaney wrote a piece in 2014 that will explain this subculture to you fairly extensively. 

Leslie Cockburn lives in rural Rappahannock County and is running against Denver Riggleman in the state’s 5th Congressional district, which includes parts of Charlottesville.

I am no fan of Denver Riggleman. He is a Trump supporter who has campaigned alongside a white supremacist. He should not be elected to any office in this country. 

But if Riggleman is a fan of Bigfoot erotica, I don't think that has any bearing on his capacity for serving the constituents of Virginia, and I think that Leslie Cockburn's use of it as a campaign issue is inappropriate, narrow-minded, and stupid.  

I don't understand Bigfoot erotica. It's definitely not for me, and if I'm being honest, just the thought of Bigfoot erotica makes my skin crawl. But there is apparently a subset of human beings who finds excitement and pleasure in this unusual form of sexualized literature, and if it brings them happiness and hurts no one, then far be it for me or Leslie Cockburn or anyone else to criticize.

Yes, I'm defending Bigfoot erotica. I'm defending a person's admiration of Bigfoot erotica. I'm defending a person's right to write and read and fantasize about sex with Bigfoot. 

I'll even defend having sex with Bigfoot if everyone involved is a consenting adult participant.  

If we're going to be a society that stops caring about what people do in the privacy of their own homes, then this must extend to all interests, fetishes, and personal predilections that do not conform with our own. If I want the bigots of the world to stop concerning themselves with the private lives of my gay, bisexual, and transgender friends, then we must extend this desire to the private lives of all people.

As long as no one is being hurt and everyone is a consenting adult, we have no right to judge the multitude of ways that our fellow human beings find happiness, pleasure, and love.  

Bigfoot erotica makes no sense to me. It strikes me as the one of the least arousing concepts on the planet. But that doesn't mean that it's wrong and that someone should be condemned for finding pleasure in it. 

Leslie Cockburn is running against a man who has campaigned with a white supremacist. She is battling a Republican supported Trump's decision to separate migrant families at the border. He defended a Republican tax cut that sent more than 90% of the money into the hands of the wealthiest Americans. Stood by Trump when he equated torch-bearing Nazis in Charlottesville with counter-protesters. Voted for a man who bragged about sexually assaulting women.    

There is plenty of ammunition to use against Denver Riggleman. Plenty of proverbial bullets to fire in this campaign for Congress.  

His alleged appreciation of Bigfoot erotica should not be one of them.  

Resolution update: July 2018

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

Still alive. Feel fantastic. 

2. Lose 20 pounds.

Stuck at 12 pounds lost. 

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day. 

I had three servings of fruits and/or vegetables on 22 of 31 days in July. Worst month so far.

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done.  

5. Identify a yoga routine that I can commit to practicing at least three days a week.

No progress. In August, I will spend a full week at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. I'll be teaching storytelling, but I'll also have the opportunity to take some yoga classes and perhaps find a routine that fits my lifestyle and personal preference.  

6. Stop using the snooze button.

Done and still highly recommended. Science is right. Snoozing is a terrible practice that you must end immediately. Get the hell out of bed once you are awake. You will feel a lot better.     

WRITING CAREER

7. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2018.

My agent and I have settled on the next novel. Progress has begun.  

8. Complete my second middle grade/YA novel.

I've submitted my first middle grade novel to my editor and am awaiting word in terms of required revision. I can't choose or start the next book until the first is complete. 

9. Write at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

No progress

10. Write a proposal for a memoir.

My agent and I have decided upon the memoir, and progress has begun. First draft of the proposal has been sent to my agent for review.

11. Write a new screenplay.

Writing has commenced.

12. Write a musical.

Writing has commenced. 

13. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

Nothing submitted in July. Three submitted so far.

4. Write a proposal for a nonfiction book related to education.

No progress.

15. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

16. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

No progress. I'm still looking for possible behaviors to adopt. Suggestions welcomed.  

17. Increase my author newsletter subscriber base to 2,000.

I added 98 subscribers added in July, and a total of 298 added in 2018. I'm 153 away from my goal. 

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Thank you!

18. Write at least six letters to my father.

One letter written in July. Three letters written thus far.

19. Write 100 letters in 2018.

12 letters written and mailed in July, bringing my total to 44 in 2018.

20. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

No progress.  

21. Record one thing learned every week in 2018.

Done! My favorite from July:      

There are only four countries in the world which have bigger GDP’s than California, and Russia is not one of them. In fact, three US states have bigger GDP’s than Russia - California, Texas, and New York.

STORYTELLING

22. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.

No shows produced in July. Our total number of shows stands at 6. 

23. Deliver a TEDx Talk.

Done! I spoke at a TEDxNatick salon event in May. 

24. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

Two Moth StorySLAMs in July, bringing the total to five in 2018. 

25. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

Two second place finished in July. One victory back in February. 

26. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

Done twice over! I won my fifth GrandSLAM in February and my sixth GrandSLAM in April.

27. Produce at least 25 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Episodes 1-11 are now now available wherever you get podcasts. The reception to the podcast has been excellent, and our audience is growing fast.

Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and please leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts.

C'mon, people.  

28. Perform stand up at least four times in 2018. 

Done! I performed in three open-mic events while in Grand Rapids, Michigan, including one night when I was asked to perform a second set. This brings my total number of stand up performances in 2018 to 5, including one paid gig.   

29. Pitch my one-person show to at least one professional theater.

Done! My one-person show has been pitched and been accepted by the Speak Up, Rise Up Storytelling Festival. I'll be performing on Tuesday, August 7 at 9:30pm on their Main Stage.

You should come!

30. Pitch a new Moth Mainstage story to the artistic director of The Moth. 

No progress.

NEW PROJECTS

31. Write a syllabus for a college course on teaching. 

No progress.

32. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2018.

No progress. 

33. Plan a 25 year reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

No progress. 

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Pay allowance weekly.

Done! 

35. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2018.

Only three more rides in July, bringing the total to five. 

36. I will report on the content of speech during every locker room experience via social media in 2018. 

Done. I spent 30 days at three different gyms (including three different locker rooms) in July, plus two locker rooms at golf courses, and I did not hear a single comment related to sexually assaulting women.  

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children (except in service of a story while appearance is relevant), in 2018 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

I did not speak of physical appearance with the exception of my wife and kids in July. 

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2018.

I surprised Elysha FOUR TIMES in July, bringing my total number of surprises to nine. 

I stuck a Starbucks gift card to her steering wheel with a note written in marker on the actual card.I purchased a shirt that I knew she loved (she pointed it out at a farmer's market, so I hunted down the sell) and timed the purchase so it would arrive while I was in Michigan.I arrived home from Michigan a day early without tell her that I had finished my work ahead of schedule. After the plane landed, I found her in a restaurant with a friend and presented her with a gift from the trip and some flowers.  I took Elysha to In & Of Itself, an incredible magic show in New York City. She had no idea where she was going or what we were doing.

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

I've received some more reasonable estimates for this project. It might actually be doable.

40. Clean the basement. 

More than halfway done this job.

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

I played several rounds of golf in July, and I came within 3 strokes of my personal best. 

42. Play poker at least six times in 2018.

No poker in July. I cancelled another game due to lack of players. 

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

A spent an evening working as a DJ with Bengi in July, bringing my total to two. 

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.