Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 195
June 18, 2019
The last day of school suddenly became very interesting
The last day of a school year can be a strange day for both teachers and students.
On the one hand, it’s a celebration. Students and teachers looking ahead at long, lazy summer days. But it’s also bittersweet for most of us. A breaking of a family that will never be whole again.
For my students, the last day of school also signals a momentous step forward to middle school. They are departing a place that has kept them safe and happy for six years.
For some students, it’s smiles and excitement.
For many, it’s sadness and tears.
As a teacher, I find myself wondering if I’ve done enough. Have I prepared them well enough for their middle school adventure? Are they ready to take on new challenges?
I worry about my kids. I can’t help it.
I found myself worrying a lot on Friday. It was the last day of school, and my students weren’t exactly being their best selves. As I tried to read to them, they were chatty and distracted. A couple of them made some poor choices as the day wore on. As I tried to make the most of our final hours together, I felt like some of my kids were doing the opposite.
It was frustrating and sad. And I worried. Are they behaving like this because I didn’t do enough?
A few hours later Elysha and I having dinner together on the patio of a local restaurant, talking about how challenging my day was, when the server arrived at my table and said, “Mr. Dicks?”
I looked up. Standing in front of me was a tall, young man who I didn’t recognize. He was smiling.
I stood up. “I’m sorry,” I said. “Who are you?”
“It’s me,” he said. Then he told me his name. I couldn’t believe it.
Had you asked me before this moment to name the student who I worried about the most in my teaching career, this young man would’ve been on my short list. Maybe at the top of my short list.
I had taught this boy 14 years ago when he was a much smaller third grader. He was a smart boy back then, but he was challenging to say the least. For a multitude of reasons, his path did not seem very bright. I had thought about him many times over the years, and my heart was always filled with worry.
A couple years ago, I had even tried to find him online without success. A few mentions of a high school football career but nothing more.
Now he was standing before me.
We embraced. I asked him how he was doing. He told me that he’d just completed his junior year in college. Preparing to begin his senior year in September. Working his butt off this summer to save money.
College. I couldn’t believe it.
Near the end of the meal, when he brought me the check, he asked if I’m still teaching Shakespeare to kids. I told him I was. “The kids performed Macbeth this year.”
Then he quoted me a few lines from the play he had performed when he was a kid. The Taming of the Shrew. He even threw in a couple of lines from Macbeth that he had remembered for good measure.
Then he told me that he’s still playing chess, a game I had taught him when he was a boy.
I couldn’t believe it. All that worrying had been for naught. He had overcome his struggles and found success. He was on the path to a good career and a great life.
I was so happy for him. So relieved.
Sometimes, in a moment of great need, as you’re worrying that you haven’t done enough for your students, the universe can be very kind to you.
That was the case for me last Friday. That young man arrived exactly when I needed him most.
I still can’t believe it.
June 17, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Cari Ryding
On episode #54 of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast, Matthew and Elysha Dicks talk storytelling!
In our follow up segment, we shout out the kindness of several readers of Storyworthy, talk about the concept of 1,000 true fans, read a listener email about a full year of Homework for Life, and offer some opinions on the final episodes of Game of Thrones.
STORYTELLING WORKSHOPS 2019
July 27: Storytelling workshop (advanced), CT Historical Society
July 29-August 2: Storytelling bootcamp, CT Historical Society
August 17: Storytelling workshop, Taproot Theater, Seattle, WA
October 4-6: Storytelling workshop, Art of Living Retreat, Boone, NC
October 25-27: Storytelling workshop (beginners), Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health
December 6-8: Storytelling workshop (advanced), Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health
STORYTELLING SHOWS 2019
August 10: Great Hartford Story Slam at Hartford Flavor Company
August 17: Solo storytelling show at Taproot Theater, Seattle, WA
September 7: “Tests” at Real Art Ways
In our Homework for Life segment, Matt talks about how a storyworthy moment can be told in more than one way, so part of the challenge of storytelling is choosing which way to craft and tell a story, and thereby where that story should begin.
Next we listen to a story by Cari Ryding.
Amongst the many things we discuss include:
Hanging a story on a great opening line
The importance of choosing useful context and backstory
Avoiding throwaway details
Making the important moments in your life also important when an audience hears them for the first time
Time manipulation
Names
Alternative endings
Avoiding phrases that assert the veracity of your story
We then answer listener questions about properly introducing stories to friends, policies involving bringing professional storytellers to Speak Up, and expanding your stories into a variety of mediums.
Finally, we each offer a recommendation.
LINKS
Purchase Storyworthy: Engage, Teach, Persuade, and Change Your Life Through the Power of Storytelling
Purchase Twenty-one Truths About Love
1,000 True Fans: https://kk.org/thetechnium/1000-true-fans
Homework for Life: https://bit.ly/2f9ZPne
Matthew Dicks's website: http://www.matthewdicks.com
Matthew Dicks's YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/matthewjohndicks
Subscribe to Matthew Dicks's weekly newsletter:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/matthewdicks-subscribe
Subscribe to the Speak Up newsletter:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/subscribe-speak-up
RECOMMEDATIONS
Elysha:
Matt:
Bonus recommendations:
June 16, 2019
Proposed Father's Day laws
On this Father’s Day, I’d like to propose the following new Father’s Day rules:
All golf courses should be set up in their most ideal conditions. Tee boxes should be positioned as close to the greens as possible. Pin placements should be ideal. Every effort should be made to ensure that a Father’s Day round of golf goes exceptionally well.
In the event that trash collection day falls on the Monday following Father’s Day, it should be moved to the Tuesday so that fathers are not required to end their day separating recyclables and dragging trash cans to the side of the road.
“No right on red” signs should cease to apply on Father’s Day.
June 15, 2019
The utterly unnecessary letter of recommendation
I was writing a recommendation letter yesterday for a friend and former colleague. It was the fourth such letter of recommendation that I’ve written in the month of June.
Though writing these letters takes time, I always find a great deal of joy in memorializing in words how I feel about the person to whom I’m recommending. Oftentimes these are people who respect and admire a great deal, so I’ve always viewed the writing of these letters of recommendation as a blessing. It’s my opportunity to let the person know exactly how I feel about them and how much they have meant to me.
It occurred to me while writing yesterday’s letter that I’ve been working at my present job for 20 years. For two full decades, I have been teaching elementary school at the same school, and for the last 17 years, I’ve been teaching in the very same classroom.
It’s been a long, long time anyone has written me a letter of recommendation.
As I was writing yesterday’s letter, I commented to a colleague who has also been working at our school for a long time how unfortunate it is that we don’t change jobs more often. While I write glowing letters of recommendation about my friends and colleagues all the time - letters that undoubtedly bring at least a little bit of joy to them - I haven’t had a letter like this written about me in forever.
Also, the last people to write my letters of recommendation were likely college professors and cooperating teachers who had only known me for a few months at most. Not exactly the kind of people who can speak with any authority or veracity about my skill and expertise.
I’m not saying that I need this kind of praise and validation of my colleagues and administrators. As some might attest, I probably feel a little too good about myself at times.
But still, it would be nice.
But since I don’t see myself going anywhere anytime soon (or ever), I may have received the very last letter of recommendation of my life.
But this has given me an idea:
In my ongoing campaign to write and mail 100 letters in 2019, I have decided to identify colleagues and friends who have been working in the same job for a long period of time and write them utterly unnecessary letters of recommendation:
Glowing reports on how dedicated, skilled, and talented they truly are even though they aren’t changing jobs.
Why should someone have to wait until they jump ship to find out how their colleagues feel about them? I’m going to let them know now, when it might mean even more to them.
I’m excited about this idea.
June 14, 2019
Donald Trump is a traitor. In his own damn words.
Just in case you missed this (because apparently Republican lawmakers missed it entirely because they have said nothing):
A new book by the Washington Post reporter Anna Fifield and a Wall Street Journal story report that Korean dictator Kim Jong Un’s brother, Kim Jong Nam, was a CIA informant. Kim Jong Nam was murdered in a chemical-weapons attack in February 2017. That attack was ordered by his brother.
Asked to comment on this revelation, Trump said:
“I see that, and I just received a beautiful letter from Kim Jong Un. I think the relationship is very well, but I appreciated the letter. I saw the information about the CIA with regard to his brother or half brother, and I would tell him that would not happen under my auspices. I wouldn’t let that happen under my auspices. I just received a beautiful letter from Kim Jong Un.”
Once again, Trump sided with a foreign adversary over American intelligence agencies.
Also, he remains obsessed with beautiful letters from murderous dictators.
Later in the week, when asked what he would do if a foreign power approached him with damaging information on political opponents during the upcoming election season, Trump said, "I think you might want to listen. There isn't anything wrong with listening."
It's a crime for a campaign to knowingly solicit or accept items of value from foreign nationals.
George Stephanopoulos then brought up FBI Director Christopher Wray's warning that anyone who received incriminating information from a foreign power should immediately call the bureau.
"The FBI director is wrong," Trump said. He denied that interfering in American elections - as Russia did in 2016 to help him win - is even a problem.
"It's not an interference. They have information. I think I'd take it. If I thought there was something wrong, I'd go maybe to the FBI, if I thought there was something wrong.”
This is a man who called on Russia to find Hillary Clinton's emails. He chose to believe Russian President Vladimir Putin’s denials about Russian interference in the election over US intelligence agencies. He claimed that the Kremlin's 2016 attack on our elections was a Democratic hoax.
Now he’s openly admitting that if Russian or Chinese or North Korean intelligence agencies found damaging information on a Democratic opponent, he would listen and possibly use that information for his own gain.
Honestly Republicans? Isn’t this enough? Are you going to stand behind a President who is siding with foreign adversaries and openly admitting his willingness to work with them again and again?
Just imagine what might’ve happened if Barack Obama had done even one of these things?
Also, where the hell are the Democrats right now?
Why are they not shouting from every damn rooftop in America about these comments? Why are they not conducting hearings on the security of our nation, the sanctity our elections, and the safety of our intelligence officers given what Trump has said this week?
I’m not a political strategist, but it doesn’t appear that anyone in the Democratic party is working with a political strategist, either. How can they remain so quiet in the face of these revelations and comments?
There comes a time in every American’s life when the needs of your country supersede your own personal or political needs.
Republican Justin Amash reached that point three weeks ago.
If his fellow Republicans did not reach that point after this week, they should never call themselves patriots again. Instead, they are hapless, helpless, self-obsessed sycophants interested in maintaining power at the cost of this country’s security.
June 13, 2019
Listen to Jon Stewart. Do the right thing.
It is unconscionable and evil that United States lawmakers are not doing everything possible to assist the 9/11 first responders as they battle illnesses directly linked to their rescue efforts following the attack on our country.
It makes absolutely no sense.
We have enough money to give corporations and wealthy Americans enormous tax cuts that GOP lawmakers are just now admitting will not pay for themselves.
Duh.
We have enough to pay the hundreds of millions of dollars it has cost American taxpayers to fund Trump’s endless trips to his myriad of golf courses around the world.
Yet we don’t have enough money to treat the sick and dying heroes of our nation?
Jon Stewart went to Congress again on Tuesday to lobby on behalf of first responders. I was told that his opening remarks before the House Judiciary Committee were “extraordinary.”
I groaned.
This is almost always the kiss of death for any speech, at least for me. “Extraordinary” is a high bar that is almost never achieved. Excellence of this level is a rare commodity in today’s world. Often claimed but rarely found.
Happily, gratefully, Jon Stewart found extraordinary on Tuesday and ate it for breakfast. He launched himself over that ridiculously high bar. Cleared it easily. Soared.
It’s a must watch.
And it worked. Yesterday, the House Judiciary Committee voted unanimously in favor of the bill. It now heads to the full House for a vote.
After listening to Jon Stewart speak, Elysha and I made a donation to the FeelGood Foundation, the charitable organization to which Stewart aligns himself.
I will be writing letters to my Senators and Congresspeople starting on Monday.
This failure to support the heroes of 9/11 must stop immediately.
June 12, 2019
The cusp of summer
He’s been waiting all year to make use of this gift.
The bathtub doesn’t quite cut it.
Just three more days until summer vacation for him, his sister, and his parents.
There are so many blessings to being a teacher, but as teachers with young children, there are none greater than the two months that Elysha and I will enjoy with our kids. My former principal, Plato Karafelis, used to say that choosing teaching as your profession is a lifestyle choice. You may not earn as much as your neighbor, but some things are more precious than dollars.
Summertime with your children is one of them.
This is a truly precious time in the lives of our kids, who won’t be little forever, and I’m so very happy to know that I will be spending so much of this time over the next two months with them.
I plan on making every moment count.
June 11, 2019
Smile and wear sunglasses
One of the many doctors who I’ve gotten to know through my work with Yale New Haven Hospital was explaining the science of biofeedback to me.
It’s fascinating.
Biofeedback is the idea that your brain is always monitoring and sensing what is happening in your body, and it reviews the information being received and uses it to decide how it should feel about the world.
For example, when you feel happy, you smile. However, it works in reverse, too. When you smile - whether you’re happy or not - your brain detects your smile and says, “I’m smiling. I must be happy.”
Research shows smiling gives the brain as much pleasure as 2000 bars of chocolate or $25,000.
So if you’re feeling blue, smile. A simple smile can actually change the way you’re feeling.
Sunglasses oddly have a similar effect. Squinting when a light is bright - like on a sunny day - causes you to flex the corrugator supercilii muscle, which causes you to look worried. Your brain reads these signals and thinks, “Oh no. Something must be wrong because I’m worried.”
Sunglasses reduce and/or eliminate the squinting completely, thereby eliminating the unintended effect.
I don’t wear sunglasses for the same reason I’ve never owned an umbrella or a watch. Less stuff makes my life less complicated. But maybe I need to rethink the sunglasses.
My doctor friend also explained to me that research seems to indicate that what you say can have a similarly profound impact on your mood, general disposition, energy levels, and more.
If someone asks you how you’re doing and you say, “I’m great,” you’re much more likely to actually feel great, even if you didn’t feel great prior to answering the question.
Conversely, if you’re a person who complains frequently or tends to speak negatively about yourself, others, or the world in general, you are much more likely to feel rotten. Speaking negativity results in actual feelings of negativity, and this can create an awful, endless feedback loop that becomes hard for folks to escape.
I think we all know people who seem trapped in a tragic loop like this. Regardless of their circumstances, every day is another impossible, unjust, depressing dip into reality for them.
Perhaps they are the victims of a negative feedback loop.
I’m not so sure abut this one. I tend to believe that most of these persistently negative people are just dumb, miserable, self-serving parasites who would choose to complain and speak poorly of others regardless of biofeedback, but I’m not a doctor.
What do I know?
June 10, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Matthew Dicks
On episode #53 of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast, Elysha and I talk storytelling!
In our followup segment, we read letters about Homework for Life from two of our listeners.
Then Elysha departs for the rest of the episode, and I play a story of my own.
Amongst the many things I talk about include:
Big moments transformed into small, relatable moments
The conversation between the beginning and ending of a story
The openings of stories
Omission
The principle of "but and therefore"
The strategic use of adjectives
Ending a story effectively (and not stupidly)
LINKS
Purchase Storyworthy: Engage, Teach, Persuade, and Change Your Life Through the Power of Storytelling
Homework for Life: https://bit.ly/2f9ZPne
Matthew Dicks's website: http://www.matthewdicks.com
Matthew Dicks's YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/matthewjohndicks
Subscribe to Matthew Dicks's weekly newsletter:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/matthewdicks-subscribe
Subscribe to the Speak Up newsletter:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/subscribe-speak-up
June 9, 2019
Tooth fairy economics
Charlie lost his front tooth this week at his Little League practice. Non-baseball related.
A couple weeks earlier, he lost his other front tooth, leaving a gap in his mouth large enough to drive a train through. It’s hilarious.
When a child loses their tooth in our home, the tooth fairy brings that child a single golden dollar. Sacagawea, Susan B. Anthony, or one of the many Presidential coins, placed carefully under their pillow after they are fast asleep.
One dollar. This is an appropriate amount of money for a tooth.
When someone in one of Elysha Dicks’s Facebook group asked how much their child should receive for a lost tooth, a common response was $20.
This is an insane amount of money to give a child for losing a tooth.
When I was a child, I received 25 cents for a tooth and was quite pleased. Even if I had received a whole dollar back then, inflation rates would only make that dollar worth about $3.10 in today’s money.
Giving your child $3.10 would be weird, but it wouldn’t be insane. $20 is insane.
$20 is more than ten times the rate of inflation. More importantly, $20 really is a crazy amount of money. Given that children eventually lose about 20 teeth, this makes their baby teeth worth a total of $400.
This is not right. Not at all.
You know how some people say, “I’m not trying to sound judgmental…” right before they sound judgmental? I’m not doing that here. Not not trying to avoid sounding judgmental. I’m trying desperately and specifically to sound judgmental.
I am being super judgy.
I am officially judging the hell out of any parent who gives their child $20 for a lost tooth.
If you are one of those parents and this upsets you, please remember that the economics of tooth fairy wealth distribution is not the kind of thing that should upset you very much. Calm yourself down. No need to get angry over every little thing.
If, for example, you think that only giving my child a single dollar from the tooth fairy is heartless, cruel, and cheap, I really wouldn’t care. “Fine,” I’d think. “Have your stupid opinion. People are entitled to stupid opinions. Your thoughts about my parenting don’t actually change anything about me or my kids. They are just electrical pulses in the neurons of your stupid brain.”
See how easy that is?
Apply this mindset to your own situation if my judgmental stance on your tooth fairy decision-making has your knickers in a bunch, because I’ll say it again:
$20 is not right. It’s ludicrous and crazy-town. Kids who are young enough to be losing their first teeth do not need $20. They simply need a little magic in their lives. A little whimsey.
A $20 bill is neither magical not whimsical. It's hard cash. Real money. Unnecessary money.
My kids are always so excited about their golden dollars.
When Charlie received his golden dollar last week, he asked me if the tooth fairy is real.
“Of course she’s real,” I said. “How do you think you got that gold dollar?”
“Maybe you put it there,” he said.
“I don’t have any gold dollars,” I said. “How would I get a golden dollar?”
“Probably at the bank,” he said.
He may be in first grade, but he is one savvy little boy.
