Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 154
August 2, 2021
Donald Pollock’s ripples in my life
I spent Saturday at Yawgoog Scout Reservation, my favorite place on the planet, touring Elysha and the kids around for Alumni Day. I took them to all of my former campsites and many of my haunts. I sang them the camp songs. Told stories. Jogged some great memories of my own.
Yawgoog is a magical place for me, and remarkably, it has barely changed in more than 30 years. I still know the place like the back of my hand.
As I was walking around, I found myself hearing the voice of my former Scoutmaster, Donald Pollock, ringing in my ears. Mr. Pollock was an important person in my adolescent and teenage years. A tough, no-nonsense man who specialized in speaking without nuance, always providing honest feedback, and accepting nothing less than excellence, Mr. Pollock was a stable, male role model for me in a time when they were hard to find. He gave me my first opportunities in leadership, first as a patrol leader for what we eventually named The Gumby Patrol (a name he rightfully despised), then as Assistant Senior Patrol Leader and finally Senior Patrol Leader, the highest position of leadership that a Boy Scout could hold.
Those opportunities, and the confidence and skill that came while serving in those roles, changed my life.
Passing by the sports field, I told Elysha and the kids about the time Mr. Pollock strategized to help us win the camp’s storied tug-o-war tournament.
Each troop assembled a team of boys weighing no more than 1,000 pounds to pull on the rope. While the other troops put their biggest, strongest boys on the rope, Mr. Pollock used our weight allowance to put much smaller boys on our end, rationalizing that the leg power of dozen smaller boys could beat the upper body strength of six or seven much larger boys.
The other troops laughed when they saw our team.
But Mr. Pollock was right. We won.
Then we were immediately accused of cheating. Putting more weight on the rope than was permitted. Mr. Pollock insisted that the team be weighed at dinner that night in front of the whole camp to prevent any rumors of cheating from festering.
He demanded a full, public accounting.
When our weight was proven to be within the limit, the dining hall went wild.
That was Mr. Pollock. That and so much more.
In a time of my life when I often felt ignored and forgotten by most adults, Mr. Pollock set the bar consistently higher for me with his unwavering support, constant eye rolls, and grouchy demeanor. He was an adult who saw me when so many others did not.
Hearing his voice ring out through my mind as I passed by places swamped in memories, I decided to reach out to Mr. Pollock’s son, Danny, asking if he was attending Alumni Day, too. Wondering if he or his father might already be somewhere at camp.
Mr. Pollock was a fixture at many Yawgoog Alumni Days.
Standing across from Tim O’Neil Field, where I once stood at the head of our troop alongside Mr. Pollock, shouting our troop’s accolades during closing ceremonies, I received a text from Danny informing me that Mr. Pollock had passed away last year.
Just like that, in the span of a single text message, the world felt emptier, quieter, and somehow missing an important, foundational piece.
I can’t believe he’s gone.
The saddest thing for me is that I’m writing this now, long after Mr. Pollock has passed on. I’m not sure if I ever told him how important he was to me. How many of his lessons still resonate with me today. How many of them I still pass onto my own children and my students.
In many ways, Mr. Pollock’s no-nonsense, direct approach to communication and feedback is something I use today. I’m a little less grouchy than he was, and I’m not nearly as savvy, but when I’m speaking directly and honestly to students and my own kids, there is a little Mr. Pollock hiding between every word.
The ripples he has left in my life are still visible today. I only wish I had told him so years ago.
It’s a final lesson from Mr. Pollock for all of us:
If there is a Scoutmaster, a teacher, a band director, a neighbor, a principal, a coach, or some other adult from your past who made a difference in your life, find that person and tell them now before it’s too late. Express your gratitude. Offer your thanks. Most important, let that person know that their contributions to your life continue today.
I wish I could’ve told Mr. Pollock about how his voice still rings out in my mind from time to time, reminding me to do the right thing, work hard, shut up, be a role model, stop throwing rocks, stay in your damn bunk, move faster, stop wasting time, think first, tuck in your shirt, take a shower, don’t set the damn forest on fire, stop being stupid, and look for people who need help.
I wish I had just five more minutes with the old guy.This will have to suffice, as small and insignificant as it may be.
July 31, 2021
Resolution update: July 2021
1. Don’t die.
Definitely alive. I had some wax removed from my ears yesterday (an annoyingly regular occurrence) and it turns out that I also have a hernia that requires surgery.
But definitely still alive and well.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
Lost 0 pounds in July. Shocking considering how much biking and swimming I’m doing.
Stupid ice cream.
Still down 10 pounds in 2021.
3. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.
Done, but no more until post-surgery.
4. Cycle for at least 5 days every week.
Done! 28 days spent cycling in July. A total of 8 rides IRL and 20 rides on the NordicTrack.
5. Set a new personal best in golf.
I tied by best round ever back in June with a 9-over-par 45 for 9 holes.
I also managed to shoot a 5-over-par 36 on a par 31 executive course. By far a personal best for that course.
Still looking to set a new personal best on a regulation course.
I have new clubs. Maybe that will make the difference.
6. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2021.
Progress continues on this novel, but there is a twist:
I wrote a memoir years ago about a summer spent playing golf, and this may be the next book we try to launch into the world, so I may need to put aside the novel for a time and focus on getting my memoir into shape.
Nevertheless, writing continues.
7. Complete Someday is Today before the end of 2021.
Progress continues. Due THIS MONTH!
8. Complete Storyworthy 2 before the end of 2021.
DONE! I sent the first draft of this book (it might be two books) to my agent for her review. Given that I finished another book on storytelling before the book I have under contract, I may need to wait a bit before we sell Storyworthy 2, but it looks promising.
9. Write/complete at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist, and one protagonist who is not neurotypical.
I’ve begun writing my first and second picture books of 2021. One is nearly finished. The other is outlined. Excited about both. I plan to continue the work once the school year begins.
10. Write 40,000 words of a memoir.
Progress! Nearly 10,000 words written! Almost 1,000 more in June.
11. Write a new screenplay.
Progress! I have a writing partner who is working on the first pass of The Other Mother, then I will parachute in and do a pass of my own.
12. Write a solo show.
Work continues in earnest. I haven’t met with my collaborators since March, but it’s simply because I’m making solid progress and want to wait until I stall out to meet with them.
I’m also consumed in finishing Someday is Today.
I did, however, review the show with a producer who offered a couple good notes and loves the idea.
13. Write a musical.
My partner, Kaia, and I have shifted away from our original idea to a new one, and work has begun with greater earnest. The original idea is still good, but this one is just as good or better. It’s also the topic of my new memoir, so there is some serious synergy between the two projects.
14. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
Two pieces submitted and rejected by the New York Times. Two in total in 2021.
15. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.
No progress.
16. Select two behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.
No progress.
I still need to write about my experiences with ASMR and my reading of 50 Shades of Gray from last year.
If you have suggestions on something I should try or adopt, please let me know.
17. Increase my newsletter subscriber base to 6,000 (from 4,497).
I added another 42 subscribers in June for a total of 4,864.
If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here:
18. Send a newsletter to readers at least 25 times (every other week).
One newsletter sent in July.
A total of 14 newsletters sent so far in 2021.
Still on pace to hit my goal.
19. Write at least six letters to my father.
Two letters in total sent in 2021.
20. Write 100 letters in 2021.
A total of 10 letters written and sent in July. Former students, friends, colleagues, one place of business, and one multi-millionaire who I’ve never met whose home I admired.
The multi-millionaire actually wrote back.
A total of 58 so far in 2021. Almost on pace for 100.
21. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.
I’ve passed this task onto my assistant, Kaia. Given that I have no eye for design, she will ultimately do a better job than I ever could.
22. Complete and release my limited episode podcast on “Twenty-One Truths About Love.”
DONE. Completed and published. You can listen to the five episode series in the Speak Up Storytelling feed.
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER23. Produce a total of 6 Speak Up storytelling events.
Elysha and I have produced four shows so far in 2021.
We’ve partnered with The Hill-stead Museum in Farmington, CT for our first live show in more than a year, outdoors.
August 18 with an August 19 rain date. Tickets still available.
We’ve also scheduled live shows (depending on the pandemic) with the Wadsworth Atheneum, the Copper Beech Institute, and the Connecticut Historical Society for the fall.
24. Pitch myself to at least 3 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.
DONE! I pitched talks to TEDx events in New Haven, Boston University, and Salem University.
I await word.
I also delivered a talk at TEDx Berkshires on July 24. It went well.
25. Pitch myself to Master Class at least three times in 2021.
One pitch made so far in 2021.
Anyone know anyone? Anyone have a thought about how I might get their attention? Anyone want to organize a Matthew Dicks rally outside of Master Class headquarters?
26. Attend at least 5 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
DONE! I attended my first LIVE StorySLAM in July. On my ten year anniversary in storytelling. My first live StorySLAM in in almost two years!
This brought my total to 9 events in 2021.
I’ll be attending another Moth StorySLAM in Brooklyn in August.
27. Win at least one Moth StorySLAM.
DONE! I won my 51st Moth StorySLAM in February. Certainly not the same as a live, onstage StorySLAM, but it’s always an honor to tell a story to an audience of any kind.
I also won the story slam at the International Festival for Arts and Ideas in New Haven, Connecticut in June.
28. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
DONE!
I won my seventh Moth GrandSLAM in May.
I9. Produce at least 25 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.
One episode recorded in July. It drops on Monday. My assistant, Kaia, is now editing the podcast, which will make things a little easier for us.
A total of 14 episodes so far in 2021. Still ahead of schedule.
30. Perform stand-up at least 3 times in 2021.
No progress, but my friend, David, has a solid 5-10 minutes of material and is ready to give standup a shot. As soon as open mics are running again, we’ll be there, ready to perform.
31. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.
No progress.
32. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.
One pitch made so far in 2021.
33. Produce at least 12 new videos for my YouTube channel in 2021.
No videos produced in June. One video so far in 2021. But I will be recording content for a new business that I am launching with a partner, so this may need to wait.
Also, my assistant will be digitizing content on DVD’s that can be uploaded soon.
34. Explore a means of producing my storytelling instruction asynchronously for an online platform.
DONE! Partners found. Contracts signed. We are on our way!
HOME35. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.
Work has commenced! Elysha has hung three piece of art in the living room. Much more to do, but it’s a start.
36. Assemble an emergency preparedness kit.
DONE! I purchased a pre-packaged survival kit and have since been added needed items, including a seed kit, survival straws, emergency blankets, N-95 masks, duct tape, and some personal items.
In July, I added three wilderness survival books to the kits.
37. Clear the basement.
Several items removed every week in July along with trash pickup.
Incrementalism at work.
FAMILY/FRIENDS38. Call brother or sister once per week.
I spoke to my sister in July. She visited my home for the first time!
No calls to my brother.
39. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
Done.
40. Take at least one photo with Elysha and myself each week.
Done! First month when this goal was accomplished!
41. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
No progress, but an online reunion feels quite doable now.
42. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2021 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
Done. I rarely even consider physical appearance anymore, but I had a couple moments in July when I would’ve absolutely spoken about someone’s physical appearance absent this goal.
43. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2021.
DONE!
Eight surprises so far.
In January, I surprised Elysha by sending flowers to her while at work on her birthday. They were reportedly some of the best flowers she has ever received.
In February, I surprised Elysha with a Pusheen knit hat. It was actually a replacement hat after the one I purchased for her birthday did not fit.
In May, I sent Elysha some especially awesome flowers that caused her colleagues to comment repeatedly about the quality of the arrangement.
In May, I surprised Elysha with weekend plans on Martha’s Vineyard for our anniversary.
In June, I surprised Elysha with Springsteen on Broadway tickets.
Also in June, I sent a cleverly designed card to her school, timed to arrive during the last week of classes.
Also in June, I cleaned the litter boxes for her during her last week of school when things got busy. Having cleaned the litter boxes for out last two cats, she’s agreed that this chore is hers for these cats.
In July, I surprised Elysha with a pile of anniversary presents after we agreed that our trip to Martha’s Vineyard would be our gift to each other.
44. Play poker at least six times in 2021.
Two games so far in 2021.
Two scheduled but cancelled games because of poor attendance.
45. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
Bengi and I Dj’d a wedding in May.
One day spent in 2021 so far. But I’m trying.
NEW PROJECTS46. Play music in class.
Done.
I wish I had played more, but we listened to several musicians during the 2020-2021 school year.
I will continue this in the fall with my new batch of students.
47. Learn to play the piano by practicing at least three times a week.
Done.
I averaged a little more than 3 days of practice per week in July.
48. Convert our wedding video to a transferable format.
I’m passing this assignment off to Kaia. Perhaps she will have more luck than me.
49. Memorize 5 new poems.
I’ve memorized “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost. Admittedly I knew more than half of it before I began, and I will continue to need to reinforce it before I am sure that it’s committed to memory for good, but it’s essentially done.
I’m still working on “In Flanders Field” by John McCrae. For the fifth month. I nearly have it.
I know I’ve said that before.
50. Write to at least 3 colleges about why they should hire me.
No progress.
51. Understand Instagram better.
No progress.
52. Complete my Eagle Scout project.
No progress.
53. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
Done.
Stupidity versus the virus
The COVID-19 vaccine has become so polarizing that some people in Missouri are getting inoculated in secret for fear of backlash from their friends and family who oppose vaccination, a doctor told CNN Wednesday.
Some are wearing disguises. Others are begging doctors and nurses to keep their vaccination a secret from their loved ones.
I’m not sure which is worse:
Those unable to stand up to the stupidity and judgment of their anti-vaccination friends and family.The anti-vaccination friends and family who would apparently make life difficult on these people who are simply following the guidance of doctors, public health officials, and scientists and trying to remain alive in the pandemic.I tend to think the former. If your loved ones are going to make life difficult for getting a potentially life saving vaccine, they just don’t love you as much as you thought.
To hell with them.
Either way, it sucks to be surrounded by uninformed, conspiracy-minded fools, particularly in a state where the virus is surging to record levels and hospitals have run out of ICU capacity
The media is now full of stories of hospitalized COVID-19 patients and their family members who are publicly regretting the decision to bypass the vaccine and are now paying the price with severe illness and death.
Daryl Barker of Branson, Missouri, who is hospitalized with a severe case of COVID-19, told the Associated Press:
“I was strongly against getting the vaccine. Just because we’re a strong conservative family.”
Here’s the thing:
That first sentence and that second sentence do not actually correlate in any way. It’s a weird combination of sentences. Bizarre and incongruous.
Viruses don’t care about your political beliefs. Science doesn’t work differently depending up your voting record.
Even more incongruous, I’m quite certain that Mr. Barker, like nearly every American, has already been inoculated against the measles, mumps, polio, tetanus, Hepatitis, and many more lift threatening diseases. I’m also certain that his children have been inoculated against these diseases, too.
Were his parents left-wing radicals when those vaccines were pushed into his arm years ago?
Was his a card-carrying member of the Democratic Party when his children received their inoculations?
We live in a country where nearly every human being has already received more than a dozen vaccinations in their lifetime, but when it comes to this particular vaccine, your political beliefs cause you to ignore or forget all of your previous inoculations and stand opposed to this one.
We live in a country where costumes must be worn in order to conceal your decision to get vaccinated lest your friends and family turn against you.
We live in a country where some people can only become convinced to receive the vaccine after it’s too late.
We need to be better.
We need to stop being so goddamn stupid.
July 30, 2021
Advice to parents for the coming school year
With a month to go before most schools open their doors to students again, our country is facing uncertainty once again. Thanks to low vaccination rates in many parts of our country, as well as the emergence of the Delta variant, we are not out of the pandemic woods yet.
I’m not sure what protocols will be in place when we return to the classroom, but as a teacher of 23 years who will soon be occupying a room with two dozen unvaccinated human beings, and as the husband of a wife who already contracted COVID-19 last year while teaching, I would like to offer all parents the following bit of presumptuous advice:
If you think something needs to be made safer for your child in the coming year, by all means raise the issue with administration.
Don’t be a jerk about it, of course. Be open minded, polite, and collaborative. But yes, by all means, let your administrators know your concerns.
If, on the other hand, you think your child’s school is being overprotective, please keep that to yourself.
You have absolutely no idea what kind of medical conditions exist amongst the staff and students in your child’s school. You simply don’t know what you don’t know.
Also, when in the midst of a global pandemic that is still killing hundreds of Americans every day and setting record numbers of infections in certain states, it’s far better to be safe than sorry.
Yes, it would be fantastic if we could start the year without masks.
Yes, it would be excellent if students could mix with the members of other classes more freely this year.
Yes, the return of field trips, assemblies, and other school gatherings would be great.
But lives are at stake. Long term health is at risk. If your school has implemented measures that you think are unnecessary, burdensome, or silly, please be a decent human being and think about all the other human beings who are also congregating in that building. Think about their safety, their well being, their possible medical profiles, and the people who share a home with them.
I can tell you this:
My students appreciated the safety measures in place last year. They wore their masks without complaint. During our many outdoor, socially distant mask breaks, many kept their mask on because, not surprising, if you’re a reasonable human being who is capable of thinking beyond your own needs, a mask is not a big deal.
Sickness is a big deal. Long term illness is a big deal. Death is a very big deal.
Last year was one of the best of my long teaching career. Despite the masks, the social distancing, and the loss of so many traditions that were no longer feasible because of the pandemic, my class and I had a glorious year together. It was made great by my students, who understood the value of pulling on the same rope, finding joy in smaller spaces, caring deeply for others, feeling gratitude for our time together, and not allowing the problems of the world to steal away from our learning and fun.
All of this joy despite wearing masks, socially distanced, and isolated in our bubble from the rest of the school.
If this is needed again in order to remain healthy and safe, we can do it again.
So please, if you don’t think your child’s school is taking safety seriously enough, say something. By all means speak up. You have every right to ensure that your child is safe at school.
But if you find the school’s pandemic protocols onerous or unnecessary, please bite your tongue. Keep your outrage at home. Channel your energies to more productive pursuits. Be less selfish.
“Better safe than sorry” is how we should all be thinking when a virus still threatens the lives of so many and the health of children and my colleagues are at stake.
July 29, 2021
Thomas Midgley left his mark on this world. Unfortunately.
American mechanical and chemical engineer Thomas Midgley was granted more than 100 patents over the course of this life, but he is best remembered for playing a major role in the development of leaded gasoline and chlorofluorocarbons.
Both products were later banned, of course.
CFC’s resulted in the deterioration of the ozone layer, eventually leading to their worldwide ban in 1987. A hole in the ozone layer remains over Antartica to this day.
Leaded gasoline was devastating to human beings and the environment, leading to widespread lead poisoning across the planet. Lead poisoning causes central nervous system damage and impairs neurological development in children. High atmospheric lead levels have been linked with serious long-term health problems from childhood, including neurological impairment, and with increased levels of violence and criminality in cities.
Elevated blood lead levels among children dropped from 88 percent in the years when leaded gasoline was still on the market to less than 1 percent in the post-phase out years.
So the next time you’re worried that you’re not leaving your mark on this world, consider Thomas Midgley. Environmental historian J. R. McNeill argued that Midgley “had more impact on the atmosphere than any other single organism in Earth’s history.”
Time magazine included both leaded gasoline and chlorofluorocarbons on its list of “The 50 Worst Inventions”
Sometimes it’s best to leave no mark behind.
Not being able to catch a break, Midgley contracted polio at age 51, which left him severely disabled. Being an inventor, he devised an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys to lift himself out of bed.
In 1944, he became entangled in the device and died of strangulation.
Not nearly as disastrous as leaded gasoline or chlorofluorocarbons, but another epically flawed invention nonetheless.
July 28, 2021
A jersey never worn.
The New England Patriots training camp opens today.
What a difference a year makes.
Last year, right around this time, I purchased a Jarrett Stidham jersey to replace my faded, 20 year-old Tom Brady jersey. After watching Tom Brady leave for Tampa Bay, I decided that our second year quarterback was the future.
Still reeling from the loss of our franchise quarterback – I’m still reeling today – I willed myself into believing that this 23 year old signal caller was the next great thing, and I forced my eyes to the future.
I needed it. Though I fully understand that athletes have the freedom to play for any team they’d like, you reach a point as a fan when you rightfully expect a legendary player to finish off their career with the single team.
Derek Jeter, for example, did this with the Yankees. Kobe Bryant with the Lakers. Cal Ripken, Jr. Carl Yastrzemski, John Elway. Michael Jordan.
I was certain that Tom Brady would do the same.
Then he left. After sitting in the stands at Gillette Stadium for two decades, rooting for this man in every type of weather imaginable, he left.
He left for Florida.
Tom Brady began his NFL career in 2000, which was the same year I was finishing my first year of teaching. Since then, I have been teaching in the same school, and for the last 18 years, in the same classroom. His career and mine aligned well. As we both watched colleagues come and go, we remained.
Then he didn’t.
Sports is a business, but still, I feel a little betrayed. For the first time since 1978, I didn’t watch the Super Bowl last year.
I couldn’t.
Today, the Patriots open training camp with four quarterbacks on the roster.
Jarrett Stidham remains on the team, and if by some miracle he has made an enormous leap in skill over the previous year, he could still be the quarterback of the future.
More likely, however, it will be Mac Jones, the Patriots first round pick who looks ready. He will need to beat out veteran Cam Newton, who beat out Stidham for the job last year. That may not happen for another year, but in all likelihood, Stidham will be riding the bench or traded before the end of training camp.
The jersey I bought more than a year ago will never be worn, or perhaps only worn ironically.
Week 4 of the NFL season will bring Tom Brady back to Gillette Stadium as an opponent. That will be a challenging game for me. Though I know the day will come when I embrace Tom Brady once again, feeling immense gratitude for the two decades of joy that he brought me, I suspect that it will not happen this year.
Instead, I’ll be in the stands of Gillette Stadium, happy to be back after missing a full year of live games because of the pandemic, rooting against a player who I once adored.
Possibly wearing a Jarrett Stidham jersey.
Ironically.
July 27, 2021
Ask for what you want
My wife, Elysha, received a text from someone we know well but would not categorize as a friend. We had never set foot in the person’s house, never shared a meal, and never purposefully attended an event together.
A well known acquaintance for sure, but not exactly a friend.
The text message read:
I find this text message glorious.
Far too often in life, people are unwilling and afraid to say the things they really mean. Ask for exactly what they want. Insist upon clarification and specificity. Say a true, hard thing.
Instead, people wait and hope. Question and waffle. Lean and maybe nudge.
This often gets us nowhere. It fails to achieve the desired goal. It delays, defers, and sometimes derails the fulfillment of a want or a wish. It creates a barrier between something that can improve their life, bring them happiness, or inject clarity into their life.
This person boldly asked for something she wanted, and as a result, we were visiting with them less than a week later, sitting around a fire, telling stories, toasting marshmallows, and laughing.
Elysha and I have new friends today.
Our children have new friends, too.
A life with more friends is a happier and better life. My life, therefore, is happier and better thanks to this text message.
How often does a simple text message produce such positive results?
I am so happy this person was brave and bold. Confident and direct.
It’s a great lesson to us all.
July 26, 2021
Support others when you have the power
Pro tip:
If you or your artistic organization have power or influence over the world in some way, great or small, and you don’t support the artists who produce art, especially when in partnership with you or on your behalf, you suck.
Also:
If you’re more concerned about your image, reputation, or brand than the artists in your field and the lift you could provide them, you really do suck.
On Saturday I spoke about the importance of storytelling at TEDx Berkshires, a conference held in the black box theater at Shakespeare & Company in Lenox, Massachusetts. I spent time with some wonderful people, including former Governor of Massachusetts Deval Patrick, who is an outstanding storyteller, a generous human being, and a down-to-earth guy.
I also met someone whose story upset me deeply.
A woman who had volunteered for 15 years at an art gallery – 15-20 hours per week – finally painted something that she loved and asked the gallery owner if she could find a spot for the piece, just for a week, so her friends could come and see it.
The gallery owner said no. She refused to lend the power of her brand to this particular artist. She thought that doing so might confuse the public over where this artist’s work ended and the organization began. She worried that it might set an untidy precedent. She thought it might complicate things at her gallery. She didn’t want her brand sullied by anything less than a professional painter on her walls.
Ugly. Right?
A larger, more powerful artistic entity refused to assist a much smaller artist. An entity that she had given of herself refused to give back. Even if the decision to display the artist’s painting caused some problems for the gallery, those problems would’ve been small, insignificant and ultimately forgotten.
But the benefits to this artist would’ve been enormous. Her dream could’ve come true.
This has happened to me in the past, too. When the opportunity presented itself to support my work, a powerful, influential group of people to whom I had also given of myself refused to help me. Instead of making a significant difference in my career, they turned their back on me for small, petty, utterly meaningless reasons. Like the painter, a tiny effort on the part of a much larger artistic entity would’ve meant the world to me.
They said no.
And it really sucked.
Don’t do this. When you’re in a position to lift someone’s work and bring attention to their efforts – in the art world or anywhere else – you should, even if it requires a little extra from you, a momentary blip of discomfort, or a teeny tiny ding on your brand.
No one will remember those things. No one will care. Except, of course, the human being to whom you have lifted to new heights.
Happily, the painter ultimately found a home for her painting in a popular, local cafe. She’s since placed other pieces there, too. Still, she admits that having her work displayed in an actual art gallery – even for a few days – would mean the world to her, and she continues to pursue this dream.
I get that, too.
Dreams don’t always die. They are sometimes just deferred by people and organizations more worried about their own self interests than the artists who are doing the work, making the art, and trying to ascend to the next step in their career.
I hope the day comes when that gallery owner regrets passing on the chance to be the first person to display a widely admired, world famous artist.
It’s unlikely, I know, but every artist’s career is unlikely. That is why we need the support that this painter and I were denied.
July 25, 2021
Big Bird bandits make me smile
July 24, 2021
One word changes everything.
The word “Barely” transforms an otherwise innocuous message into something so much more.
The word “Barely” accomplishes so much:1. It makes the sign both noticeable and memorable by zigging when most people would zag. It dares to be different. It represents an effort and a desire to rise above mediocrity and create something new and interesting. 2. It’s funny. Not laugh out loud funny but definitely amusing, and humor is a great way to get attention, be memorable, and make people smile. Making people smile is something we should seek to do as often as possible in this life 3. It’s vulnerable. It’s unabashed honesty about the quantity of cool air being added to the interior of the store sets this sign apart from all others. It won’t be a secret to customers that the interior of the store is cooler than the outdoors but not exactly AC cool, so why not be upfront about it? Vulnerability appeals to people. Audiences are drawn to those who are willing to say the things that most people will not say. We are drawn to those who are willing to acknowledge their faults, weakness, and failure. Vulnerability is hard, courageous, and always appreciated. This sign represents all of that. It’s a signal that the people in this shop are true and honest in what they say. I know I’ve managed to write a lot of words about just one word, but I really do think that much can be learned about this one word. It’s an excellent reminder that we need not spend a lot of money or a lot of time to do something a little bit different and a whole lot better than what most folks are doing today. It’s also – and I know this will sound a little grandiose – a perfect lesson for living a full and complete life. As people, we should always strive to be different. Seek to be memorable. Try to be funny. Don’t shy away from vulnerability. All of these are excellent qualities to pursue in life, both for yourself and for simple signage.
