Scott Murray's Blog, page 172

A guide to the Manchester derby – video

Manchester United host Manchester City at Old Trafford this weekend in what will be the 170th meeting of the two clubs. When the teams first met in 1881 they played as Newton Heath and West Gorton – but a lot has changed since then. Here’s your comprehensive guide to the Manchester derby

Five great Manchester derby moments – brick-by-brick Continue reading...

Dynamo Kyiv v Chelsea: Champions League – as it happened

Chelsea had the better of an entertaining, if goal-free, night in Kiev

Match report: Dynamo Kyiv 0-0 Chelsea

9.37pm BST

Danilo Silva drags Oscar down by the neck, out on the left. One last chance for Willian to do something special from a free kick, but with the box loaded, he fails to beat the first man. And that’s that. A decent point for Chelsea on paper, and one that Jose Mourinho would have been happy with at the start of the evening. But his side hit the woodwork twice, and should have had a penalty, so there will be some frustration. Not too much, though, one suspects. Because Chelsea played very well tonight, and their Champions League campaign is on the right lines again. Chelsea, one senses, are on their way back.

9.34pm BST

90 min: ... Chelsea stream up the other end, Willian cutting in from the left and very nearly planting a curler into the top right. Inches away from glory.

9.33pm BST

89 min: Kyiv have finally turned up as an attacking force! Gonzalez breaks down the left, but can’t find Yarmolenko with his low cross. Then Yarmolenko heads goalwards, only for the ball to be deflected out for a corner. From which ...

9.32pm BST

88 min: Vida goes on a strong run down the left wing, taking on Zouma for pace, and just about winning the race. Vida looks to cross low, but settles for the corner off Zouma’s outstretched leg. The corner is hit long, an awful corner, but Sydorchuk is able to attack again down the right. He whips a low ball towards the near post. Junior Moraes tries to meet it, but Cahill guides the ball back to Begovic, who smothers.

9.30pm BST

87 min: Willian and Ramires combine down the right to earn a corner off Dragovic. Chelsea aren’t so content with their point that they fail to load the box. But Willian can’t find Terry’s head with his whipped-in corner, and the ball’s cleared without too much fuss.

9.28pm BST

85 min: Chelsea are passing it around the middle of the park quite a lot. They’re in no rush to attack, perfectly happy with their point. The Kyiv fans aren’t particularly happy with what they’re seeing. Jose Mourinho has his feet up.

9.26pm BST

83 min: Willian, the maestro, wands the free kick towards the far post. Terry, breaking clear of the Kyiv back line, hooks the ball across and into the danger zone. But he’s mistimed his run. Or maybe Kyiv pushed up well. Either way, it’s offside.

9.25pm BST

82 min: Matic goes on a leggy ramble down the middle of the park, and is clipped to the floor by Yarmolenko. This will be a free kick to Chelsea, 35 yards out, just to the left. Before it can be taken, Garmash comes on for Buyalskiy.

9.24pm BST

80 min: Yarmolenko strides in from the right, eating up vast chunks of the Chelsea half at speed, then rolls the ball to Gonzalez down the inside-left channel. Gonzalez has got space and time to work with, but opts to take an early shot towards the bottom right. It’s not very good, and Begovic gathers without fuss. The Chelsea keeper has had very little to do this evening.

9.22pm BST

79 min: Yarmolenko and Buyalskiy exchange a quick one-two down the inside-right channel. Yarmolenko prepares to pick up possession and break into the box, but Terry sticks a boot in to scupper the plan. Wonderful anticipation.

9.20pm BST

78 min: Kyiv respond by swapping Kravets for Junior Moraes. A striker for a striker.

9.18pm BST

75 min: The first change of the night sees Chelsea swap Fabregas for Oscar.

9.15pm BST

72 min: Possession is over-rated. Dynamo have had 59% of the ball so far tonight. Chelsea have been the better side, though. Yarmolenko romps down the right but can’t get a meaningful ball into the box.

9.13pm BST

69 min: Kyiv recycle the ball, though, and Gonzalez is found in a bit of space down the left. He reaches the white paint, and cuts the ball back for Vida, who leans back and launches one towards the stars. He was in space on the edge of the area there. A fine chance. He has the good grace to hold his head in his hands.

9.12pm BST

68 min: Now Zouma clips Gonzalez from behind. His heart’s in his mouth, having just been booked, but it looks more accidental/clumsy than deliberate, and it’s just a free kick to the left of the Chelsea box. Kyiv load the area. Yarmolenko takes, but not very well. The ball bobbles behind everyone, straight to the opposite flank. Dear me.

9.10pm BST

67 min: Now he’s started, he can’t stop. Zouma goes in the book for a pointless slide on Vida.

9.09pm BST

65 min: Ah, the referee does have his card set with him. Buyalskiy is booked for a pretty basic slide on Fabregas. Having taken out both of his ankles from the front, he can have no complaints.

9.07pm BST

64 min: Vida hoicks a comical clearance straight at Ramires, who fails to take advantage. Not sure whether he was trying a shot or cross there. But he’s allowed Vida to make up for his mistake, and mop up.

9.06pm BST

63 min: ... Begovic makes another notable contribution, tipping away Gonzalez’s deep cross from the left. Kravets wasn’t far from meeting that one with his head. It might have even crept into the top right. Anyway, it’s another corner, which leads to nothing for the home side. It’s been a great game, this.

9.05pm BST

61 min: And having said that, Kyiv nearly score. From a Willian free kick, as well. For once, Willian’s delivery isn’t so good, a set piece from the left, Chelsea having loaded the Kyiv box. Yarmolenko leads a charge upfield on the break. Gonzalez enters the area on the left, and belts a low shot towards the near post. Begovic parries brilliantly. Corner. From which ...

9.04pm BST

60 min: Willian is sent scampering into space down the right. He reaches the byline and pulls a lovely ball back for Hazard, who is in space just inside the area. He takes a touch and batters a shot goalwards, only to watch in horror as Khacheridi throws himself at the ball, John Terry style. It balloons off his buttocks and out for a corner, which is dealt with easily enough by Kyiv. Chelsea are asking all the questions here.

9.02pm BST

58 min: Wonderful work from Hazard, who bursts down the left wing from a deep position, cuts inside, exchanges passes with Matic, and hooks a stunning pass down the wing for Costa. The striker hesitates and can’t get a cross away. But what a glorious sweeping move up until that point. Chelsea are playing well.

8.59pm BST

55 min: Kravets and Buyalskiy nearly open Chelsea up down the right with a crisp one-two, but Azpilicueta keeps tight. Yarmolenko picks up possession and twists the full back this way and that, but his cross into a packed area doesn’t beat the first man. The home fans are getting a little testy, Begovic yet to be seriously tested.

8.57pm BST

53 min: Fabregas, with men in space, powers down the inside-right channel. Kyiv look very light at the back. Fabregas whistles a low shot straight at Shovkovskiy from the edge of the area. Not particularly brilliant given the options. “Seinfeld, Shmeinfeld!” begins Justin Kavanagh, who gets his email published despite his dirty mouth. “I was hoping we’d get a rendition of Hank Williams I’m so Lonesome I Could Die or Roy Orbison’s Only the Lonely from The Lonely One as half-time entertainment tonight. Or at least a good Leonard Cohen cover: I asked Sir Alex Ferguson how lonely does it get,Sir Alex Ferguson hasn’t answered me yet…” Satire, ladies and gentlemen.

8.54pm BST

50 min: Costa has just set about Khacheridi’s coupon in the cynical style, following it up with an apology of some chutzpah. Seconds later, Khacheridi sticks his elbow on Costa’s neep as they contest a high ball. Marvellous entertainment.

8.51pm BST

47 min: ... whips a magnificent effort up and over the wall, towards the top-left corner. Shovkovskiy is rooted to the spot, and watches in relief as the ball twangs off the underside of the crossbar. Matic can’t follow it in, and Kyiv clear. That was so close to yet another brilliant Willian free kick. He’s a magician. Chelsea deserve to be winning this match.

8.49pm BST

46 min: With less than 15 seconds of the second half gone, Willian is making good towards the Kyiv area. He’s cynically tugged back by Rybalka. No booking. A strong suspicion that the referee has left his cards at home. But this is a free kick in a very dangerous position, dead central, 25 yards out. Willian steps up to take, and ...

8.48pm BST

Dynamo arrange themselves in an elaborate huddle, then spread out into position. And then the second half gets underway, Chelsea setting the ball in motion once more. No changes.

8.35pm BST

Half-time entertainment: Any excuse for a bit of Seinfeld, huh?

8.34pm BST

And that’s that for the half. Chelsea have hit the post and could have had a penalty, while the home side are lucky not to be down to ten men. Even so, everyone in blue seems happy enough as they walk off. They’re halfway to the point that would constitute a decent evening’s work, and they look more cohesive than they’ve done for quite a while. It promises to be a fascinating second half. No flipping!

8.31pm BST

44 min: Sydorchuk attempts to spring Kravets clear down the inside-right channel. His pass is a tad too strong, and skids out of play on the sodden turf. Chelsea were in a spot of bother there had the pass been played correctly.

8.29pm BST

42 min: Mourinho stands on the touchline making a big show of looking satisfied with Chelsea’s performance. A rare smile playing across his lips. And fair enough, because his team have been the better side in this half.

8.28pm BST

40 min: Zouma and Cahill think about running into each other, Hansen and Miller style, on the edge of their own area. They decide against it in the end, though only just. Gonzalez and Kravets were waiting to pounce, too, but the ball spins off into the arms of Begovic.

8.25pm BST

38 min: Gonzalez stamps on the back of Willian’s ankle. That’s an appalling challenge, but there’s no censure from the referee. A yellow card at least, and Gonzalez couldn’t have complained too much if he saw red. Chelsea aren’t getting the decisions here. But for goodness sake say nothing, Jose, it really isn’t worth it.

8.23pm BST

36 min: Danilo Silva strides with some purpose past Azpilicueta down the right. He breaks into the area, and for a second a world of possibility opens up for Kyiv. But his cutback for Kravets, waiting on the penalty spot, is hopeless. A few whistles from the home support.

8.21pm BST

34 min: Hazard twists and turns down the right, and earns Chelsea yet another corner. The ball’s met on the penalty spot by Cahill, who batters a fine header towards the top right. Shovkovskiy plucks it from the sky on his line.

8.20pm BST

32 min: Willian embarks on a superscamper down the left. His burst of pace earns a corner. Willian whips that corner high through the six-yard box. Shovkovskiy comes off his line to flap and miss, but neither Costa nor Cahill manage to rise and get their head on the ball. Such a good delivery. Is it fair to say Willian has been Chelsea’s best player this season? I’ve not seen all their matches, but he appears to be delivering with great regularity both domestically and in Europe.

8.16pm BST

29 min: More space for the busy Vida down the left. He loops a very awkward ball to the back post, where Yarmolenko and Kravets are in attendance. Azpilicueta reads the danger well and heads behind for a corner. Again Chelsea deal with the set piece easily, though they’ll be concerned that the home team are getting back into the game again.

8.15pm BST

27 min: Vida goes powering down the left wing again. He cuts inside, sashays past Zouma, and slides the ball along the front of the Chelsea box. Buyalskiy strides in to meet it, and pearls one towards the top-left corner. He gives the ball a rare old belt, but Terry is out quickly to block in his trademark no-prisoners style. The ball deflects wide left for a corner, which Begovic claims easily.

8.12pm BST

25 min: Ramires takes a snap shot from 25 yards out, down the right. The ball sails fairly harmlessly wide of the right-hand post.

8.11pm BST

24 min: In between those two Chelsea chances, Kravets nearly latched onto a long pass down the inside-right channel, but Begovic was out quickly to claim it. Chelsea have otherwise been in control for a wee while.

8.09pm BST

21 min: Chelsea are knocking at the door here. Matic dribbles down the inside-right channel, and should be stopped at some point. But nobody bothers, and suddenly he’s bustling into the box! He draws Shovkovskiy, and looks certain to score, but his little dink towards the left-hand portion of the net floats wide of the post.

8.07pm BST

19 min: A free kick for Chelsea down the left. Willian floats it into the mixer from deep. Diego Costa attempts to guide it into the right-hand portion of the net with an extended leg, but just misses, and the ball flies inches wide of the right post.

8.06pm BST

17 min: Fabregas cuts in from the left, and into the Kyiv box. He dodges Rybalka to the right, Rybalka clipping his leg as he does so. He’s going over as he clatters into Khacheridi’s planted leg. He claims a penalty kick, with some vigour. You’ve definitely seen them given for that. Chelsea have every right to be livid. But the referee comes down in favour of the home side.

8.03pm BST

16 min: Yarmolenko and Danilo Silva combine down the right. The latter scoops a cross into the box, where Kravets lurks. Zouma deals with an awkwardly bouncing ball very calmly indeed.

8.02pm BST

14 min: An aimless high hoof down the Kyiv right. Yarmolenko brings it down with a telescopic leg, at high speed to boot. That’s quite wonderful. He skins Azpilicueta on the outside, then spoils the whole thing with a clumpish cross. But what a player.

8.00pm BST

12 min: We’re up the other end again. Yarmolenko sprays a fine diagonal ball to Gonzalez on the left. Gonzalez, near the byline, hooks the ball back to the edge of the area for Buyalskiy, who sidefoots a first-time shot towards the top left. Begovic deals with that one easily enough.

7.58pm BST

11 min: Chelsea are enjoying the better of this. A free kick on the right, in a dangerous position, Hazard again having caused some bother with his twinkling toes. Fabregas’s delivery is awful, and easily cleared by Vida. Fabregas tries to make up for it a few seconds later, cropping up on the other wing and lashing a shot behind from a tight angle.

7.57pm BST

9 min: This is a lovely end-to-end game already. First Yarmolenko cuts in from the right and has a pop from distance. It’s not a great effort, and easily gathered by Begovic. Then Hazard, down the other end, picks up possession on the left-hand corner of the Kyiv box. With little backlift, he pitching-wedges a delightful curler towards the bottom right. At full stretch, Shovkovskiy fingertips onto the base of the post, and away. Exquisite football from both attacker and keeper.

7.55pm BST

8 min: Willian is afforded acres of space in the middle of the Kyiv half. He’s got options either side of him, Diego Costa and Hazard, but opts to shoot instead. He’s in so much space, he’s got the right to do so, though his effort is a woeful bobble, and easily snaffled by Shovkovskiy.

7.53pm BST

6 min: A little bit of space for Hazard down the inside-left channel. He accelerates into it, before sliding a pass further down the flank for Diego Costa. The striker’s nearly sent clear into the area, but Danilo Silva nips back to clear. Chelsea are quickly coming back at Kyiv, though, allowing Fabregas to look for the bottom-left corner from distance. Shovkovskiy is behind it all the way.

7.51pm BST

5 min: Vida goes on a power run down the left wing. He’s tight on the touchline but a nice combination of strength and finesse sees him gain a yard of space on the backtracking Willian. Fortunately for Chelsea, his cutback from near the corner flag is fairly hopeless and mopped up easily by Zouma.

7.50pm BST

3 min: Azpilicueta, playing at left back this evening, will be trailing after the dangerous Yarmolenko all night. He plants a sly elbow on the winger’s ear as the two challenge for a high ball down the Kyiv right. The referee has a quiet word with the Chelsea man, who may not get too many more chances if he plans to carry on like that.

7.48pm BST

2 min: Other than the actual sound, it’s a quiet start, as both teams take turns to ping the ball round a bit, getting a feel of the thing.

7.47pm BST

Coins are tossed, hands are clasped when they used to be shaken, and pennants saying “No to Racism” are swapped. And once that’s all done, we’re underway! Kyiv get the ball rolling, to a soundtrack of whistles and bellows.

7.44pm BST

The teams are out! The champions of Ukraine in their famous all-white strip, the champions of England in their equally renowned blue. It’s an aesthetic pleasure, and with both teams your actual pukka league winners, a purist’s treat. It’s also cold and wet in Kiev, but my word, what an atmosphere! We’ll be off in a minute.

7.40pm BST

In lieu of any pre-match chit-chat coming out of the Dynamo camp ... here’s a lovely picture of their manager Serhiy Rebrov doing what he did best (although admittedly rarely for Spurs) back in the day.

7.33pm BST

Mourinho speaks! Feel free to interpret the following any which way you fancy. “If it’s possible, I’d like to see Eden Hazard win the match for us, as he did so many times last season ... he’s a phenomenal player ... and if he can’t win the match for us, at least to be a team man, to keep the tactical balance we need for a game of this dimension.” Meanwhile on news desks around the land ...

7.04pm BST

Dynamo Kyiv: Shovkovskiy, Danilo Silva, Khacheridi, Dragovic, Vida, Sydorchuk, Rybalka, Yarmolenko, Buyalsky, Gonzalez, Kravets.
Subs: Rybka, Veloso, Antunes, Petrovic, Junior Moraes, Garmash, Gusev.

Chelsea: Begovic, Zouma, Cahill, Terry, Azpilicueta, Matic, Fabregas, Ramires, Hazard, Willian, Costa.
Subs: Blackman, Baba, Oscar, Falcao, Mikel, Traore, Kenedy.

7.01pm BST

Eden Hazard is recalled for Chelsea, having been rested/dropped/does-it-really-matter for the Aston Villa game at the weekend. He’s a man in form, having scored for the new world number-one team Belgium in their Euro 2016 qualifiers against Andorra and Israel.

9.05am BST

Poor old José Mourinho can’t seem to catch a break this season. A stuttering start to their Premier League campaign. A Champions League defeat at his Porto alma mater. A common-or-garden post-match interview that accidentally turned into an epic and emotional soliloquy. A vote of confidence from the board. And now some existential despair: “I live in a different world. I’m a lonely guy in this modern world of football. I don’t have many friends in the football world.”

The poor fellow certainly needs cheering up. Hey, a victory tonight in Kiev against Dynamo Kyiv, to kick-start their stalling Champions League campaign, should do it! On the face of it, that’s a tall order: Kyiv have won seven of their last 10 home European games, they’ve only been defeated by an English side in Kiev twice in 12 matches, and they’re doing a damn sight better in the Ukrainian league than Chelsea have managed back in Blighty.

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The Fiver | Eric Pickles, Steve Evans, Piers Morgan, Adam Lallana and Morrissey

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WAVING GOODBYE

The Round of Arsenal has become one of the highlights of the European football calendar. Held every February, it marks the point at which Big Cup gets really serious, as 15 hopeful clubs join Arsenal for a football jamboree to decide which eight of the 15 move on to the next phase. Arsenal are – this is the only way we can make any sense of it – just happy to be there, and cheerfully wave the lucky eight off as they continue on their journey. Yes, we’re just happy to have been there, it’s the taking part that counts, and I’m definitely glad I didn’t spend any of the billions in the bank on a reliable defensive midfielder, smiles Arsène Wenger, still waving furiously, a light frost forming over his teeth as he fixates on a spot exactly 1,000 yards into the distance and stops blinking.

MOOD

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Watford v Arsenal: Premier League – as it happened

Watford made Arsenal work for their win, but the Gunners had too much for the Hornets in the second half, and they reclaim second spot in the Premier League table.

7.37pm BST

Related: Alexis Sánchez returns to spark Arsenal into life at Watford

7.21pm BST

And that’s that. There’s no point thrashing Manchester United 3-0 if you don’t follow it up with a win at a newly promoted side. For a while, it looked as though Arsenal were going to drop points. Watford gave as good as they got for an hour. But Arsenal were too strong, and their quality shone through in the latter stages. They reclaim second spot, and theirs is a title challenge that looks very much the real deal.

7.19pm BST

90 min +2: Oxlade-Chamberlain scampers into space down the left. He cuts the ball back for Giroud, who blooters the ball miles over the bar. The French rugby team would take a few of those against the All Blacks this evening.

7.17pm BST

90 min +1: There will be three added minutes. The first has already passed without incident.

7.17pm BST

89 min: Deeney cuts in from the left, having won the ball off Bellerin. He exchanges passes with Ighalo and attempts to lash a shot into the top left from the left-hand edge of the Arsenal D. He doesn’t catch it at all. He looks thoroughly dejected, but he’s played well tonight.

7.14pm BST

88 min: Oxlade-Chamberlain twists in a baroque manner down the right, and wins yet another corner. Arsenal take a quick tapped one, despite sending up the centre backs. They faff around, and are fortunate to earn another corner. Cazorla hoofs this one into the mixer, and all of a sudden you can understand why they sometimes play it short.

7.12pm BST

85 min: But Arsenal are soon coming back at Watford. Coquelin, of all people, channels his inner Garrincha and dribbles down the inside-right channel to win a corner. Watford deal with this one in a fuss-free fashion. Arsenal are threatening to turn the scoreline into an embarrassment for Watford, who don’t deserve such a fate. But champions need to be ruthless, and Arsenal, having battled to get where they are, appear to be in the mood to prove a point.

7.10pm BST

83 min: Bellerin turns on the burners and wins a corner down the right. He’s a marvellous young player. Cazorla takes the set piece. Giroud attacks the ball with gusto, and powers a wonderful header towards the top right. Gomes is behind it all the way and punches clear for another corner, which is dealt with by Watford.

7.08pm BST

81 min: Paredes comes on for a tiring Anya.

7.08pm BST

80 min: That’s Sanchez’s last act of the night. He’s replaced by Oxlade-Chamberlain, while Ozil is swapped for Arteta.

7.07pm BST

79 min: Cazorla pitching-wedges a lovely ball down the middle, very nearly releasing Sanchez. Gomes is out quickly to make himself big. The pair clash, but within the rules. No foul. Sanchez gets up and chases after the ball, which is bouncing to the left of the unguarded net. He can’t quite reach it before it flies out of play.

7.04pm BST

77 min: Deeney rather brilliantly kills a long punt down the left stone dead with one touch, then lifts a cross into the middle. It very nearly finds the in-rushing Berghuis, but Mertesacker has positioned himself well. Watford are well beaten now, but there’s a small reminder that they sparkled in attack for the first hour or so, and gave Arsenal plenty to think about.

7.02pm BST

75 min: Ibarbo comes on for Abdi.

7.02pm BST

But suddenly they spring forward. Bellerin bursts past a couple of half-arsed challenges down the right. He slides the ball inside for Ramsey, who is just inside the area. Ramsey pokes the ball goalwards, and it’s deflected into the bottom-right corner, where it nestles rather apologetically, having only just bobbled over the line.

6.59pm BST

73 min: Arsenal are quite happy to pop the ball around the back right now. Textbook clock management, with Bayern Munich in mind.

6.58pm BST

71 min: Watford were looking reasonably assured, but the spirit is broken. Capoue hoicks a long ball forward, but Cech’s the only player ever getting to that.

6.55pm BST

69 min: Berghuis comes on for Nyom.

6.55pm BST

Arsenal ping it around some more. Sanchez cuts in from the left and slips the ball inside for Ramsey, whose shot is deflected wide right of the target. Ozil is first to the loose ball, and cuts it back for the substitute Giroud, who sweeps home. Watford had gone toe-to-toe with Arsenal for so long, but they’ve been suddenly blown away.

6.53pm BST

66 min: Arsenal have started to ping the ball around a lot. What a difference a goal makes.

6.52pm BST

64 min: Watford are livid, but the referee got those decisions correct. Giroud comes on for Walcott.

6.51pm BST

Watford look the more confident team right now. Capoue takes a shot from the left-hand corner of the Arsenal D. It’s blocked. He then tries to burst into the box and stumbles along with Coquelin. He claims a penalty, but he’s not getting it. Arsenal stream up the other end. Ozil is released into the area, and is upended by a sliding Anya on the penalty spot. Before the ref can whistle, Sanchez pitching-wedges into the top left!

6.47pm BST

60 min: Deeney powers down the left and is stopped in his tracks by Coquelin. That could easily have been a booking for the Arsenal midfielder. He’s perhaps saved by Watford taking the free kick quickly. The ball’s shuttled in from the left wing to Capoue, who looks for the bottom-right corner from the best part of 40 yards. Nope!

6.46pm BST

59 min: Mertesacker is stripped for pace down the left by Ighalo. He sticks out a leg to bring his man down, and that’s a booking. And a free kick for Watford in a dangerous position. They load the box. Abdi hoicks an awful effort into the mixer, at the perfect height for Cech to claim with ease.

6.44pm BST

57 min: Nyom lifts a pass down the right to release Deeney into the area. Deeney thinks about lashing a volley goalwards from a tight angle, but opts to control and wins a corner instead. The set piece is half cleared, though Ighalo soon comes back at Arsenal down the left. His cross is powered clear by Koscielny.

6.43pm BST

56 min: It’s an absolutely belting atmosphere at Vicarage Road, by the way. The volume goes up as Watford win a corner down the right, and doesn’t fall back when the home side make a pig’s lug of the set piece.

6.41pm BST

54 min: Sanchez returns the favour, clipping a tasty pass down the left channel to release Ozil into the area. Ozil’s pass into the centre is clumped out of play by Prodl. The resulting corner comes to nothing. But Arsenal are beginning to press Watford back now. The last three or four minutes have been a possession masterclass. It’s been a long time coming, though.

6.39pm BST

53 min: Ozil slides a lovely pass down the middle of the park to find Sanchez in a pocket of space by the Watford D. Sanchez snaps a shot goalwards, but it’s charged down. Watford are making life very difficult for Arsenal right now.

6.38pm BST

50 min: A long ball down the middle. Deeney goes up for it, and is clumsily clattered by Koscielny. A free kick, 35 yards out, in a central position. Abdi scoops it onto the head of Prodl, on the right-hand corner of the six-yard box. Prodl heads across the face of goal, but hope rather than accuracy is the top note here, and Mertesacker can clear.

6.36pm BST

48 min: Arsenal haven’t exactly come out re-energised. Sanchez tries to get them going by racing down the middle and sweeping a pass wide right for Ramsey. But Ramsey dawdles, and the impetus is gone. Soon enough, they’re passing the ball back to Cech. Watford will be happy to rinse and repeat for the rest of the half.

6.33pm BST

46 min: Deeney sweeps Sanchez off the ball. Sanchez sits on the floor with his legs spread straight out, confused, like Jason Dufner. Good lord. Deeney whips a ball in from the right, and isn’t far off finding Ighalo, but Mertesacker has read the danger and intercepts well.

6.31pm BST

Watford get the second half underway. Neither team has made a change.

6.19pm BST

Half-time entertainment: Here’s Watford doing for Arsenal in the cup at Highbury in 1987. John Barnes was some player, and VHS quite the format.

6.17pm BST

Time for Ramsey to go for a spectacular goal from just inside the Watford box on the right, but his attempted lash into the top left is wild and high. And that’s that for the first half. A highly entertaining match, despite the lack of goals. Arsenal looked in total control for the first 15 minutes or so, but Watford grew into the game, and could have had a couple themselves. It promises a fascinating second half. No flipping!

6.14pm BST

43 min: A long ball down the middle confuses the hell out of the Arsenal back line. Deeney gets ahead of Koscielny, and hopes to round Cech, who has rushed out of his goal. But Cech, his boots fairly high, deflects the ball away from danger. The Watford faithful scream for a red card, but that’s come off the Arsenal keeper’s leg and onto his shoulder. It certainly didn’t look like a hand ball. That’s certainly the conclusion the referee has drawn.

6.12pm BST

42 min: Bellerin swings a ball into the Watford area from the right. Sanchez gets his head on the ball, but there’s no power on the effort. Gomes comes out to claim.

6.10pm BST

39 min: Deeney, with the ball at his feet on the left-hand corner of the Arsenal box, chips inside. The ball’s deflected towards Cech, though Ighalo very nearly nips in to intercept. Arsenal don’t look wholly comfortable here.

6.09pm BST

37 min: Monreal makes good down the right and into the Arsenal box. He fires across for Bellerin, coming in from the left. It’d have been a tap-in, were it not for the sliding Nyom. Ramsey takes up play down the right again, and earns a corner, from which Koscielny fires hard, low and wide right.

6.07pm BST

35 min: The play stopped, Capoue gives Sanchez a playful brush across the jowls. Sanchez considers crumpling to the ground, which would have been beyond pathetic. He thinks better of it, but gives the referee a mouthful instead. The ref takes both of them aside, and reminds them they both left infant school a long, long time ago. Grown adults, the pair of them.

6.04pm BST

32 min: Watford are seriously threatening Arsenal here. Ighalo skedaddles down the right, reaches the byline, but can’t find Deeney in the middle with his pull back. The home side should be leading this game. But they’ve not taken their chances.

6.02pm BST

31 min: Anya flicks a loose ball down the right-hand channel, and releases Ighalo into space. He’s clear on goal! But he’s got Monreal on his shoulder, pressurising. It’s too much to cope with. He enters the area with only Cech to beat, and surely must score, but screws a dreadful shot wide right of goal. He has the chutzpah to claim a penalty for the lightest of brushes by Monreal, but he’s never getting that. The claim borne of embarrassment.

6.01pm BST

29 min: Sanchez, gliding in from the left, lifts a gorgeous diagonal pass towards Ramsey, who is bombing into the Watford box from the right. It’s a perfect ball, dropping onto Ramsey’s boot, and the Arsenal man is going to get there ahead of Gomes, coming off his line. But Ramsey doesn’t commit, and clumsily knees the ball over the bar from close range. Three rugby points. And what the Welsh would have done for them; they’ve just been knocked out of the Rugby World Cup.

5.57pm BST

27 min: Arsenal win a corner down the left through Sanchez. A game of head tennis takes place in the box. Koscielny, now fully recovered, flashes a header across the face of goal, from right to left, but there’s nobody in a red shirt in position to take advantage.

5.56pm BST

25 min: Koscielny takes an awful clatter on the jaw as he slides into Ighalo’s outstretched arm from behind. Arsenal threaten to kick off, 1989 style, for a few seconds, but calm down when it’s realised the whole incident was accidental.

5.55pm BST

24 min: And up the other end, Arsenal’s early attacking verve has been lost. Ramsey and Walcott take turns to make something happen down the left, but the passes into the box aren’t sticking.

5.53pm BST

23 min: Arsenal are making problems for themselves. Cazorla is caught dawdling in the midfield, allowing Abdi to tear towards the Arsenal box. He’s got Anya in acres to his right, but dillies and dallies, and he’s bundled off the ball. The visitors looked short at the back for a few seconds there.

5.51pm BST

21 min: Watford are full of confidence now. Ighalo, taking a pass from Deeney on the edge of the Arsenal D, tries to Le Tissier one into the net. But his chip up and volley is shanked miles wide right. Full marks for ambition, though.

5.50pm BST

19 min: Watford should be ahead. Ake sends Deeney into acres of space down the left. In the middle, Koscielny and, behind him, Ighalo. A decent cross, and it’s 1-0. But the ball’s straight at the Arsenal defender, who is able to slide the ball out of play for a corner, which is wasted. Great defending, though he should never have been allowed to make the interception.

5.48pm BST

17 min: Capoue, Anya and Ighalo combine in a very fluid fashion down the right, some gorgeous little triangles. Ighalo finds himself on the byline to the right of the Arsenal goal, and pulls a ball back for Anya, who shuttles it on to Deeney on the penalty spot. The ball’s not perfect, snagged under his feet, and he’s soon crowded out of it, unable to get a shot away. But for a second there, it looked as though Arsenal had been prised apart. Lovely play.

5.46pm BST

15 min: There’s a lovely open feel to this game, and Watford are playing their part. Anya nearly finds Deeney in the Arsenal box with a pass inside from the right wing, but the ball’s intercepted.

5.45pm BST

14 min: Arsenal are trying their best to destroy Watford’s high line. Now it’s Ozil’s turn to slide a pass down the left channel for Walcott; again the flag goes up for offside. But there wasn’t much in that.

5.43pm BST

12 min: Coquelin slips a ball down the inside-left channel to release Walcott on goal. Walcott slips the ball past Gomes, on the edge of the Watford box, but his shot squirts inches wide of the right-hand post. The miss matters not, because Walcott was a couple of yards offside, and the flag went up.

5.42pm BST

11 min: Deeney steals the ball off Coquelin, proper candy-from-pram-dweller stuff. He batters a wonderful shot towards the left-hand portion of the net, but that’s not getting past Cech, who parries with strong fists.

5.40pm BST

10 min: Sanchez dances down the inside-left channel, drops a shoulder to nudge the ball inside, and looks for the top-right corner with one of those risers that did for United a couple of weeks back. Gomes stands up to it. Great football all round.

5.39pm BST

9 min: Arsenal still with the passing. Ramsey has a skitter down the inside-left channel, but can’t quite open Watford up, not even with Monreal and Cazorla backing him up. Capoue comes back to help Watford out. Meanwhile, Simon McMahon has been getting misty-eyed over the preamble. “What you’re saying is that Watford are basically Dundee United to Arsenal’s Barcelona. Right?” You could set your clock by it, couldn’t you. It’s 5.39pm.

5.37pm BST

6 min: Arsenal are enjoying the lion’s share of possession. Watford are struggling to get into the match. “Quique Flores might have meant complicated in the sense of complex angles, but it’s much more likely he was using the false friend from Spanish: complicado = difficult, hard, tough,” writes Charles Antaki. “Or perhaps he was thinking of complicated as in Arsenal’s penalty-area choreography: elaborate, mazy and unresolved?”

5.34pm BST

4 min: Arsenal are up for this. Ramsey whips a cross into the Watford box from the right. He flashes a header on target, but Gomes is behind it and catches without fuss.

5.33pm BST

3 min: ... nothing occurs. Ramsey gets his eyebrows to it, and the ball’s easily claimed by Gomes.

5.33pm BST

2 min: Good work from Bellerin down the right, as he nips the ball past Ake. His deep cross is headed behind by Nyom. Corner to Arsenal on the left. From which ...

5.31pm BST

Arsenal get the ball rolling. Ramsey is almost immediately making a nuisance of himself down the right, and very nearly wins a corner, but Ake and Anya combine to crowd him out. After that Manchester United victory, the visitors have turned up very much on the front foot.

5.30pm BST

Here come the teams! Watford always come out to the theme to Z-Cars, a habit they share with Everton. On the day of Howard Kendall’s passing, an already haunting piece of music carries an added poignancy. Watford sport their famous yellow shirts, although this season’s version has - arcane TV reference #2 - a dodgy horizontal hold. Black lines running right across it. Arsenal are in their red-and-white garb. We’ll be off in a minute!

5.20pm BST

Now it’s the turn of Watford’s head coach Quique Sanchez Flores. “It is going to be difficult for us. They are a very complicated team. But maybe we can do something well. The players have confidence that we can win.”

5.12pm BST

The Sanchez problem. In addition to his hip injury, the Chile star only came back from international duty late on Thursday. Arsene Wenger didn’t bother trying to hide his player’s resulting lack of match sharpness in the pre-match interview. “To rest at the start, or to take them off if they are tired?” he pondered aloud. “I have chosen the second solution.” Wenger also admitted that the upcoming Champions League match against Bayern Munich is “the most important game”, but he was quick to show his respect for Watford, praising their ability in defence and on the break. “This is also a big game for us. We need a brilliant performance offensively to score a goal.”

4.44pm BST

Watford winger Ikechi Anya starts, despite missing Scotland’s international-break heartache through injury. As for the visitors, Alexis Sanchez, fresh from ripping Manchester United apart but not so fresh as a result of a hip problem, makes it despite his malady. Laurent Koscielny was also a doubt, due to a tweaked hamstring, but he’s made Arsenal’s starting XI too.

4.35pm BST

Watford: Gomes, Nyom, Prodl, Cathcart, Ake, Ighalo, Watson, Anya, Deeney, Abdi, Capoue.
Subs: Britos, Behrami, Gilmartin, Paredes, Ibarbo, Berghuis, Holebas.

Arsenal: Cech, Bellerin, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Monreal, Cazorla, Coquelin, Ramsey, Ozil, Sanchez, Walcott.
Subs: Debuchy, Gibbs, Arteta, Giroud, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Chambers, Macey.

10.29am BST

In their 1980s heyday, Watford really did have Arsenal’s number. Here’s an astonishing statistic. The Hornets spent six seasons in the top flight during that decade, between 1982 and 1988, meeting Arsenal 12 times in the league. They won eight of those matches. Eight out of 12! They also knocked Arsenal out of the quarter-finals of the FA Cup at Highbury in 1987. Has another member of English football’s aristocracy ever been worked over in this manner, again and again and again, by the same member of the insolent lower classes?

But times change. In the Premier League era, the teams have played four matches, and Arsenal have made off with the spoils on each and every occasion. Throw in an FA Cup victory for the Gunners at Vicarage Road during that period, and Arsenal really have delivered the big payback.

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Tottenham Hotspur v Liverpool: Premier League – as it happened

After all that waiting, and all the hype, a goalless scoreline was inevitable.

2.57pm BST

Related: Tottenham Hotspur 0-0 Liverpool | Premier League match report

2.37pm BST

A poor game, and a point apiece. Jurgen Klopp seems pretty happy with it, not least because Liverpool have kept their first clean sheet in a wee while. In fact, he makes his way onto the pitch and quietly congratulates his players, a faint smile playing across his face. Spurs will feel more frustrated: they just about shaded the game in terms of quality and chances, though that’s not saying a whole lot. The long wait for Klopp’s debut, and all the concomitant hype, almost guaranteed this scoreline, didn’t it.

2.35pm BST

90 min +2: Milner goes on a dribble down the right. Just before he reaches the box, he’s clattered to the floor by Alli. A free kick in a dangerous position, and a chance for Liverpool to load the box. Moreno goes direct, and clatters the free kick in to the wall. That’s a dismal decision.

2.33pm BST

90 min: Kane bombs down the left. Lucas slides in from the right and gets a bit of the ball, but a lot more of the man. He’s booked. It’s all in the middle of the park, so the free kick doesn’t amount to much. There will be three added minutes of this.

2.33pm BST

89 min: Ibe makes off down the left, then cuts inside. He lays off to Allen, who sets up Can, the best part of 30 yards out but in space. Can sends a well-struck effort meant for the bottom-left, but a couple of feet wide. Not the worst effort.

2.29pm BST

87 min: Both teams make a change. Coutinho is replaced by Ibe, then Townsend comes on for Lamela.

2.28pm BST

85 min: Eriksen bursts in from the left, across the front of the Liverpool box. Nobody in a red shirt wishes to risk a tackle. The ball’s laid off in the middle for Kane, who is in space on the edge of the area in a central position. Kane cocks his leg and, after what seems like an age, shoots. He must score, but it’s straight at Mignolet, who turns the ball round the right-hand post for a corner. Which is cleared. Kane had Liverpool at his mercy there.

2.26pm BST

83 min: It’s all scrappy passes and scrappy fouls. Neither team seem capable of stringing anything together right now.

2.24pm BST

81 min: Lallana is replaced by Allen. He’s not one for completing games, is he, Adam Lallana?

2.22pm BST

78 min: Milner clatters into Rose, a 50-50 ball in the middle of the Liverpool half. That’s a foul, albeit an accidental one, a late clatter. The referee waves play on, and Liverpool fizz up the other end. Coutinho rolls the ball wide left for Origi, who enters the box and lashes a shot on target from a tight angle. Lloris is right behind it, justice done.

2.19pm BST

76 min: Coutinho sashays down the inside-left channel, glides inside, and curls a pass to Milner, who is in space on the right-hand side of the Spurs D. A great chance to shoot, but he miscontrols woefully, allowing Spurs to break at speed. Kane wins a corner down the left off Clyne. From the corner, Skrtel clears, and Walker returns the ball for a conversion in the rugby style. Both teams are creating half-chances, only to spurn them with extreme prejudice.

2.16pm BST

74 min: Milner, Lallana and Can dance their way down the right. A few flicks and feints, and Liverpool nearly open Spurs up, but the move breaks down with the final pass and Rose clears. A bit better by Liverpool, but it’s not exactly flowing football.

2.15pm BST

73 min: Walker has injured himself while extending to tackle Can. While he gets treatment, a few of Liverpool’s players congregate by the dugout. They’re fed water, and bollocked severely by Klopp, who shouts at them quite a lot. Marvellous.

2.14pm BST

71 min: Kane cuts inside from the right and has a whack from distance. The shot’s blocked and squirts through to Mignolet.

2.13pm BST

69 min: Clyne romps into space down the right. His high cross is deflected out to Can, who thinks about shooting but doesn’t. Then Lallana has a dribble into the box down the left, but is forced to check back. Finally Can feeds Coutinho on the right-hand side of the Spurs D. It’s blocked at source.

2.10pm BST

68 min: Lallana twists and bustles down the right and into the area. He falls down in front of Alli as he enters the area, and claims a penalty, but come off it. A corner’s his only prize, and that’s a waste of time.

2.09pm BST

66 min: This game is all pressing, no passing. A gegenmess.

2.08pm BST

64 min: Rose is robbed by Origi, but the striker hesitates as he jogs down the inside-right and the chance is gone. Then Spurs go up the other end through Alli down the left. Alli loops a cross into the middle. Lamela attempts to contort his body for a Zidane-style volley, but can’t connect.

2.05pm BST

63 min: At the moment it’s fast, frantic and not very good. The crowd are pretty quiet as a result.

2.03pm BST

61 min: Coutinho has been quiet today, but he makes a determined run down the inside-left channel to earn his side a corner. But his set piece doesn’t even beat the front man. It’s not happening for Liverpool up front right now. Those first 15-20 minutes seem an awful long time ago.

2.02pm BST

59 min: Lamela is booked for crumping his knee into Moreno’s lower back. He can’t complain, and in fairness doesn’t really bother.

2.00pm BST

56 min: Spurs knock it around the front of the Liverpool box, but the visitors hold firm. Eventually the ball’s worked right to Walker, who sends a daisycutter skittering towards the bottom right. Mignolet does very well to gather that one. It’s not been a high-quality half, so far. Plenty of it remaining. Positive thinking.

1.58pm BST

55 min: Origi bustles down the inside-left channel. He’s held up and unable to shoot, but lays back to Lucas, who has options either side. Instead of picking a pass, he tries to thread a shot into the bottom right from 25 yards. There’s a reason Lucas hasn’t scored for five years, he illustrates it perfectly with this pea-roller.

1.57pm BST

53 min: Can works his way in from the left and earns a cheap free kick out of a clumsy Alli. Coutinho swings the set piece into the Spurs box for Skrtel, level with the right-hand post ten yards out, but Vertonghen batters a header clear.

1.55pm BST

52 min: Lallana has a look from 25 yards down the inside-left channel, but Alderweireld closes him down quickly enough.

1.54pm BST

50 min: Liverpool make an awful meal of clearing a simple loose ball down their left. Moreno and Can redefine faffing, in a process that takes nearly a minute, before Lamela lets them off the hook with a pointless tug on Moreno’s shirt. Spurs were pressing Liverpool back there, and the visitors were panicking.

1.52pm BST

48 min: Skrtel bowls Kane over as the pair contest a long Rose throw down the left. A chance for Spurs to load the box. Eriksen takes. And his inswinger flies straight through to Mignolet, on the line. The keeper gathers, though Alderweireld was inches away from connecting on the edge of the six-yard box. He had a chance there. Liverpool didn’t look very certain of themselves there.

1.50pm BST

47 min: All a bit scrappy right now.

1.49pm BST

Spurs get the ball rolling again. No changes. Milner is immediately winded by Alli. Then a sleepy Liverpool are caught on the back foot, Eriksen making off down the right. Skrtel clears his cross.

1.34pm BST

Half-time entertainment: Some classic matches between Spurs and Liverpool, as told by the Joy of Six. Includes Dave Mackay taking a 5-2 defeat as a “personal affront” and tailoring a response accordingly.

Related: The Joy of Six: classic Tottenham Hotspur v Liverpool games | Scott Murray

1.33pm BST

Origi makes off down the right, and fires a low cross into the area. Coutinho nearly latches onto it, but Vertonghen slides in to ensure he can’t get a shot away. And that’s pretty much that for the opening period. A half of two halves, that. Liverpool came out of the blocks flying. Spurs were by far the better side once they got a foothold in the game. Klopp claps his team off, though you sense his heart’s not quite in the platitude. It all makes for a fascinating second half. Don’t go anywhere!

1.30pm BST

45 min: Lamela robs Moreno down the Spurs right. He slips the ball down the wing for Alli, who swings a low ball to the near post. Kane is in an offside position, but Skrtel, sliding in, concedes a corner, and Spurs are awarded the set piece. Nothing much occurs from it, Dembele lumping over hopelessly from 25 yards down the right.

1.28pm BST

43 min: Origi busies himself to win a ball in the centre circle, then rushes towards the Spurs box. He lays off for Can, whose shot is blocked. Can feeds the quiet Coutinho down the left. Coutinho attempts a curler into the right-hand portion of the net, but that’s easy for Lloris.

1.27pm BST

41 min: Clyne and Skrtel hesitate next to a bouncing ball down the Spurs left. After you. No, after you. Njie steps in and nips off with it. He drops a shoulder, cutting in from the wing, and lashes a stunning, dipping shot inches over the bar. Mignolet might have got to that were it on target, but there were no guarantees. Liverpool have gone right off the boil. Their manager, by contrast, may be starting to simmer.

1.24pm BST

39 min: A couple of corners down the right for Spurs, Alli proving himself very troublesome. Liverpool eventually clear. But the home side are very much on top now, Liverpool’s early high-tempo sass no longer in evidence.

1.23pm BST

37 min: Eriksen threads a pass down the left for Kane, who skates past a flailing Skrtel and is clear in the area. He whacks low, but Mignolet parries magnificently with his feet. The ball breaks to Alli, who chests down on the edge of the box and shoots goalwards. Sakho throws himself in front of the ball, John Terry style, a magnificent block. Spurs recycle. Eriksen’s cross from the left is claimed by Mignolet. Spurs so close to going ahead. Brilliant last-ditch defence by Liverpool.

1.21pm BST

35 min: Milner finally goes in the book. He’s done nothing much there, kicked by Rose as the full back clears upfield. He’s unlucky there, but could easily have been yellow-carded earlier, so it’s swings and roundabouts.

1.19pm BST

34 min: Origi makes a nuisance of himself down the right and wins a corner off Rose. Milner hits it long. Skrtel rises and meets it with a downward header. Kane sweeps a clearance.

1.18pm BST

32 min: Eriksen takes a belt from 30 yards. He’s looking for the top left. The ball balloons off Skrtel’s face, and out on the right for a corner. From the set piece, Vertonghen can’t keep his header down from 12 yards, under pressure from Sakho.

1.16pm BST

31 min: Now Origi scampers down the right and very nearly latches onto a pass on the edge of the Spurs box, but Lloris is out quickly to blooter clear. It’s not quite sparked off, this game, and yet there could easily have been a goal or two at each end.

1.15pm BST

30 min: Spurs are right in this now, though. Eriksen sliderules a pass down the middle of the park, and would have released Kane had the striker been on the front foot. A relieved Mignolet comes out to gather.

1.15pm BST

29 min: Here’s the other side of Mignolet, though. Lallana gives the ball away to Kane, who slides a pass to the right, where Njie is in acres on the edge of the Liverpool box. Njie hits a screamer towards the top left, but Mignolet, at full stretch, fingertips the ball round the post. One corner leads to another, and that’s that.

1.13pm BST

27 min: A couple of slapstick moments involving Mignolet. First he’s very nearly closed down when kicking by Kane. Then, as he attempts to gather a simple ball to the right of his goal, he falls onto his knees, slides hysterically across the turf awhile, and very nearly concedes a needless corner.

1.12pm BST

26 min: It’s descended into a scrappy nonsense, this. Though Pochettino and Klopp will both be satisfied with the relentless manner in which their teams are going about their business.

1.10pm BST

24 min: In the stands, Liverpool striker Daniel Sturridge is handing out sweeties. Jordan Henderson is very eager to snaffle one. Look at his smile! The simple pleasures of life. Yes, there’s a bit of a lull on the pitch.

1.07pm BST

21 min: Kane shows some twinkle toes down the right, reaching the byline and flicking a clever ball back towards Njie, who is hovering on the penalty spot. Moreno and Sakho launch a pincer movement to crowd out Njie before the ball reaches him. But that’s much better from the home side.

1.06pm BST

20 min: Finally a period of possession for Spurs. It’s all in the middle of the park, so as sterile as it comes, but baby steps and all that. And at least they’re now playing at their own rhythm.

1.03pm BST

18 min: Milner upends Rose down the left. That’s effectively a corner, and a good talking to for Milner, who is treading a fine line this afternoon. He’s lucky not to go in the book. The set piece is easily cleared by Liverpool, Kane unable to make an impression by connecting at the far post.

1.02pm BST

16 min: Sakho gives the ball away in the midfield, allowing Eriksen to chase after a pass down the left. Mignolet rushes out of the area and slide tackles the midflielder. It’s a clean challenge, though Eriksen lands on his head. Even the notoriously flat-footed keeper appears to have been energised by Klopp.

1.01pm BST

15 min: Liverpool are certainly playing with a high tempo. Not entirely unexpected. Though at the moment, Spurs are unable to cope with the tactic, and giving the ball away a lot. The home side are struggling to retain any sort of possession.

12.59pm BST

13 min: Clyne and Milner triangulate in a very pretty fashion down the right. Briskly, too. Eventually Lallana is sprung into a little space on the edge of the box, but his eyes, lighting up, are a lot brighter than his shot, which is a witless slash straight at Lloris, who claims with a yawn.

12.57pm BST

11 min: Njie comes on for Chadli. It’s been a busy start to this game. Spurs haven’t got a foothold as of yet.

12.56pm BST

10 min: Milner hits the corner deep. Can eyebrows it on. Origi, six yards out and level with the left-hand post, hammers a header onto the crossbar. Lloris gets a flick on the rebound. Origi attempts to chest into the empty net, but the keeper’s deflection has confused him royally. Eventually the flag goes up for an offside. Spurs escape. Liverpool should be leading.

12.54pm BST

9 min: It looks as though Chadli is unable to continue. Spurs are currently down to ten men. Origi looks up for this, and runs down the middle of the park before slipping the ball wide right for Lallana. Another corner. From which ...

12.53pm BST

7 min: Now the busy Lallana wins a corner down the left. Liverpool’s second is headed clear by Kane, but soon enough Milner is coming at Spurs down the right. Can and Sakho get in each other’s way at the far post, and once again Spurs just about manage to clear. Milner tries to get things going again down the inside-right, exchanging passes with Lallana, but the move breaks down and eventually Milner concedes a foul on Chadli, the period of pressure instantly relieved. Liverpool have started well.

12.50pm BST

5 min: Lallana chases after an Origi flick-down along the right, and earns himself a corner. The set piece is lumped into the mixer, where Skrtel, then Can, both win headers. Neither effort has any meat on it, though, and Lloris claims easily enough.

12.49pm BST

4 min: A long ball down the Liverpool right. For a second it looks like Origi’s outmuscled Vertonghen, and will be turning into space, but he’s blown for a combination of offside and excessive force. Spurs go up the other end, Chadli making good down the left and crossing into the Liverpool area. Skrtel heads clear.

12.47pm BST

2 min: Both teams struggling to keep control of the ball on a crisp, breezy morning. Klopp - who had started the game draped over a seat in the dugout in the casual style - is already up on the touchline, having a good old look and think.

12.45pm BST

Liverpool get the ball rolling, and lose it within ten seconds. For Klopp, the only way is up.

12.44pm BST

The teams are out! Spurs in their crisp, beautiful white shirts, Liverpool in their enigmatic red. Klopp and Pochettino share a warm handshake and a joke. We’ll be off in a minute. “I am afraid to say that your German is like Klopp’s English,” begins the surname-free Chris, who is giving this Google Translate user far too much credit. “No-one would ever state Es wird geschehen! or Guten Nachmittag!. Both is as English as Klopp’s presser was 100% German straight into English. (I was the hairsplitter regarding the “The Normal/Ordinary One” comment.)“

12.36pm BST

Today’s half-and-half scarf: Because where’s the sense in fussin’ an’ a-feudin’?

12.31pm BST

Other football managers are available. And here’s Pochettino, the manager of the month, who is looking very happy and relaxed. “Today’s game will be exciting, for all that’s happening at Liverpool. We’re going to enjoy the game today. Jurgen is a great manager who showed very good things in Dortmund. It’s great for us, a good challenge. We’ve watched a lot of clips from Dortmund, yes.” A real sense that the two managers - both very cheery - fancy their chances today. Which augurs well for fun. Fun and happiness and cheer. This is sport, ladies and gentlemen!

12.25pm BST

Klopp gives his first pre-match interview as Liverpool boss. It’s a freeform jazz piece. “I feel excitement, I feel pressure, I feel opportunity, I feel the cold. We have had three exercises together. It’s enough. We know we play today against a really good team, it’s difficult for us today. We don’t want to play like they expect us to play. We want to be active. You can see it in their eyes. We have to develop our football. We are here to get a good result.”

Sturridge’s injury - a swelling caused by a clatter with Jordan Ibe in training - is “not too serious”, but in the wake of the recent injuries to Ings and Gomez, they’re taking no chances. He also went out of his way to talk up Origi, who he apparently wanted to sign while at Borussia Dortmund, only to be priced out of it by his new club. Klopp finishes the interview with a smile and a delicate sing-song “thank you”. There’s nice! And so melodic.

12.15pm BST

Klopp’s debut comes with added poignancy now. As one manager arrives in Liverpool, another of the city’s true greats takes his leave. The sad news broke this morning of the death of most successful Everton boss of all time, Howard Kendall. Part of the title-winning Holy Trinity as a player in 1970, alongside Alan Ball and Colin Harvey, he went on to dominate English football as a manager in the mid-1980s, bringing domestic and European glory to Goodison. A true giant of Merseyside football, and one of the most likeable too. A few hymns will ping around the rafters of Goodison Park today.

Related: Howard Kendall, former Everton manager, dies aged 69

12.00pm BST

Jurgen Klopp, with his first selection as Liverpool manager, makes two changes to the final team Brendan Rodgers picked. Danny Ings is injured, as is ... Daniel Sturridge. ‘Twas ever thus. Sturridge is being wrapped in cotton wool having suffered a minor knee problem. Replacing the unfortunate striking duo: Adam Lallana and, making his first Premier League start, Divock Origi.

11.50am BST

Tottenham Hotspur: Lloris, Walker, Alderweireld, Vertonghen, Rose, Dembele, Alli, Lamela, Eriksen, Chadli, Kane.
Subs: Vorm, N’Jie, Trippier, Townsend, Wimmer, Winks, Davies.

Liverpool: Mignolet, Clyne, Skrtel, Sakho, Moreno, Can, Lucas, Milner, Coutinho, Lallana, Origi.
Subs: Bogdan, Toure, Allen, Ibe, Randall, Sinclair, Teixeira.

10.26am BST

Liverpool have a mighty fine recent track record against Tottenham Hotspur. They’ve won the last five games between the two clubs to the aggregate tune of 18-4. On the last two occasions they’ve visited White Hart Lane, they registered spectacular 5-0 and 3-0 victories. The Reds have enjoyed the last couple of years against the Lilywhites all right.

But times change. Luis Suarez, Raheem Sterling and Steven Gerrard have moved on. Mario Balotelli is away on loan. Jon Flanagan is injured. And - you might have caught wind of this - Brendan Rodgers has been sacked. Rodgers won five out of his six games against Spurs as Liverpool boss, his only defeat coming back in November 2012, Aaron Lennon and Gareth Bale the Tottenham heroes that day. So in this respect, the new man Jurgen Klopp has quite the reputation to live up to. No pressure, Jurgen!

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A brief guide to … Liverpool's failure to recapture the glory days

Liverpool were the dominant team in England – but they haven’t won a league title since 1990, and they’ve been overtaken by a certain other team in red

With the Guardian’s unstoppable rise to global dominance** we at Guardian US thought we’d run a series of articles for fans wishing to improve their knowledge of the sports history and storylines, hopefully in a way that doesn’t patronise you to within an inch of your life. A warning: If you’re the kind of person that finds The Blizzard too populist this may not be the series for you.

** Actual dominance may not be global. Or dominant

Related: Jürgen Klopp and Liverpool face blow of Joe Gomez cruciate injury

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Euro 2016 qualifiers clockwatch – as it happened

The Dutch fail to reach the Euros for the first time since 1984, as Turkey make it to France in the most dramatic of circumstances.

9.49pm BST

What a dramatic evening, and what a denouement to the Euro 2016 qualifying groups! The headlines, then...

In Group A, the Dutch are out after a farcical 3-2 defeat at home to the Czechs, though it mattered little in the end as ten-man Turkey beat Iceland with a last-gasp free kick of exceptional quality Selcuk Inan. David Beckhamesque scenes, because Turkey go through automatically as the best third-place finishers at Hungary’s expense.

9.42pm BST

And so here are the final scores...

Group A: Turkey 1-0 Iceland, Netherlands 2-3 Czech Republic, Latvia 0-1 Kazakhstan
Group B: Cyprus 2-3 Bosnia-Herzegovina, Belgium 3-1 Israel, Wales 2-0 Andorra
Group H: Italy 2-1 Norway, Malta 0-1 Croatia, Bulgaria 2-0 Azerbaijan

9.40pm BST

... a header into the bottom right denies Simon Mignolet a clean sheet.

9.39pm BST

A shot bobbled into the bottom right. And in the same group ...

9.38pm BST

A free kick from 30 yards, out on the left, whipped into the left-hand side of the net. Not altogether dissimilar to Gary McAllister’s famous last-gasp winner for Liverpool against Everton at Goodison in 2001. That will send Turkey to France as best third-placed team, at Hungary’s expense! And the Dutch are, of course, now out, having lost 3-2.

9.34pm BST

Hazard passes the ball into the bottom right from the edge of the area. Calm. Assured. Classy. What else do you expect from the new world number one team?

9.32pm BST

Norway were so close to Euro 2016 as group winners. Now they’re almost certainly going to drop to the play-offs. Such a thin line. Unless they can bounce back, they now need Malta to do them a big favour against Croatia.

9.30pm BST

So this is rather interesting, huh? Van Persie scores at the correct end this time, an instinctive poke at a dropping ball down the inside-right channel, and into the bottom right. They still need two goals, and hope ten-man Turkey concede a winner to Iceland. But this is on! Sort of!

9.29pm BST

An appalling studs-up challenge on Jón Dadi Bödvarsson’s lower leg, the Icelander’s foot planted on the ground. Bödvarsson will have done well to escape injury there. Meanwhile in other foul-play news, at 9.07pm I wrote that “Danny Blind, already on a yellow card, has taken to kicking folk willy nilly.” Here’s Rob Edwards: “This explains Holland’s problems perfectly. Here they are desperately trying to qualify and the manager is actively kicking opponents on the field.” Yes, just look what I did.

9.26pm BST

A lovely dipping free kick from a central position, 30 yards out, sent bouncing into the bottom left. Belgium will surely win their group now at Wales’s expense. But more importantly, they’re heading for the world number one spot!

9.22pm BST

Norway were top of the group a minute ago. Now Florenzi’s goal has dropped them into the play-off spots! Croatia, remember, are winning in Malta. And all of this is enough to see them through automatically. Wonderful tension.

9.19pm BST

A corner from the right. Klaas-Jan Huntelaar heads down and into the bottom right. Could the greatest switcheroo in Euro qualification history (not counting Spain’s 12-1 win over Malta in 1983, which denied the Dutch access to Euro 84 on goal difference) be on? Er, almost certainly not. But while there’s time, there’s hope!

9.17pm BST

It’s been to and fro in Cyprus all right. An early lead for Bosnia-Herzegovina, Cyprus went 2-1 up, and now Bosnia-Herzegovina are in charge again. Djuric heads a cross from the left down and into the bottom right. The play-off spot is theirs if they can hold on this time round.

9.15pm BST

Mertens owed Belgium something after ludicrously missing an open goal from a couple of yards in the first half. Well, he’s repaid them, cutting in from the left and whizzing a low shot into the bottom left. Belgium will be winning the group as things stand, but Wales have qualified for their first tournament since 1958, and they’re unlikely to get too upset about that.

9.13pm BST

Kuat, powering down the left channel, leans back and threads a shot into the bottom right. Now then! Should Turkey take the lead at home against Iceland, they’ll be in a position to qualify automatically as best third-placed team, denying Hungary. Hmm. Non-stop drama!

9.11pm BST

Eh, well this really is it. And what a farce! The Dutch sent Van Persie on to score, and he’s done that, but in his own net. Jiří Skalák takes a free kick on the right - Blind gave away the foul, naturally, and the ball drops towards Van Persie, level with the left-hand post, ten yards out. He attempts to cushion a header back to Jeroen Zoet, but only manages to guide the ball into the bottom right, the keeper wrongfooted and his feet planted. That is beyond ludicrous. At least they’re crashing out in style. (See also Scotland.)

9.07pm BST

“Could it be that World Cup third-place-curse is back?” wonders Admir Pajic. “Sweden (1994), Croatia (1998) and Turkey (2002) had all failed to qualify for the following Euro after their big success. Of course, Germany didn’t care for that unwritten rule but it seems Holland might start a new sequence.” It’s almost a certainty. They’re pushing the ten men of the Czech Republic back at the Amsterdam ArenA, but not really causing the visitors too much bother. Time is not their friend. They need three goals in the final 25 minutes. And Danny Blind, already on a yellow card, has taken to kicking folk willy nilly. He’s testing the referee’s patience. Should he walk, that really will be it.

9.04pm BST

Wales are now leading in Cardiff. Paul Doyle will give you the details of that one.

9.02pm BST

The only game tonight that means absolutely nothing looks to be going Bulgaria’s way. Rangelov makes it two for the home side, a header powered into the top right. The 1994 World Cup seems an awful long time ago, doesn’t it.

8.55pm BST

A half-chance for Van Persie, as a ball drops to him 12 yards out, level with the left-hand post. But he slips as he looks to sweep a volley goalwards, and the ball rolls apologetically to the Czech keeper Cech. But the Dutch, blessed with a numerical advantage now after the sending off, are on top. Depay comes at the Czechs down the left, soon after, only to lash a hopelessly excitable shot miles wide left and high. He’d worked himself a good position there, too.

8.53pm BST

The second half is underway everywhere, except in Cardiff, where a serious injury to an Andorra player caused a long delay in the first half. Paul Doyle will fill you in. Meanwhile, in lieu of early second-half goals, here’s Alan: “I may be grasping at straws here but but does this mean that Scotland are now as good as Holland? That’s got to be progress!”

8.41pm BST

So here are the half-times. And the headlines as things stand: the Dutch are heading out; Turkey, Bosnia-Herzegovina and Croatia have play-off places; and the group winners will be Czech Republic, Belgium and Norway. But there’s plenty of time for a few changes.

Group A: Turkey 0-0 Iceland, Netherlands 0-2 Czech Republic, Latvia 0-0 Kazakhstan
Group B: Cyprus 2-2 Bosnia-Herzegovina, Belgium 0-0 Israel, Wales 0-0 Andorra
Group H: Italy 0-1 Norway, Malta 0-1 Croatia, Bulgaria 1-0 Azerbaijan

8.34pm BST

Well this is quite the rollercoaster ride. A deep cross from the left, and Medunjanin, rushing in from the other flank, sweeps home with a gorgeous volley. Bosnia-Herzegovina are back on terms, and back in the play-off spot!

8.32pm BST

Depay was chasing a long ball down the inside-right channel. He was going to get there ahead of Suchy, who slid in and upended the Manchester United paceman from behind. That’s a straight red. It’s not over quite yet for Holland!

8.31pm BST

Constantinos Makridis twists and turns down the right, fires in a low cross, and it’s turned in at the near post by Nestoras Mitidis. Cyprus have turned this around, and right now they’re in the play-off positions! Magnificent drama, and they’ve really capitalised on Bosnia-Herzegovina’s nervousness, which all stems from Begovic’s slapstick show a few minutes earlier.

8.28pm BST

Holland are in desperate trouble. So they’ve sent Robin van Persie on in Jairo Riedewald’s stead. The final roll of the dice.

8.26pm BST

The Dutch are done. Sural wriggles down the inside-left channel and pokes home from close range, beating a splayed Jeroen Zoet at his near post. They’ve made every Euro finals since 1988. Well, that run’s coming to an end now, unless something very dramatic unfolds in the next hour or so.

8.24pm BST

Bosnia-Herzegovina are still going through as things stand. But they would be feeling a lot more comfortable had Dries Mertens not just missed an open goal from six yards against Israel. What a shank!

8.22pm BST

The Chelsea goalkeeper Asmir Begović is all over the place. First he drops a cross, and is extremely fortunate that the Cypriots can’t slot the loose ball into an empty net. But soon after he’s fumbling a simple shot, and Konstantinos Charalambidis taps home.

8.19pm BST

Croatia are staying on Norway’s tail, though. They can still pip the Norwegians if Italy grab an equaliser. They need to win themselves, though, and Perisic’s deflected shot into the bottom right has set them in the right direction.

8.16pm BST

As things stand, Norway will be going through as Group H winners at Italy’s expense.

8.13pm BST

The Netherlands really are up against it now. Kaderabek cuts in from the right and his whipped shot gives the Czechs the lead, and the Dutch are on the brink.

8.10pm BST

From a corner on the right, Aleksandrov powers a header into the left-hand portion of the net. It doesn’t matter much, but a bullet header’s a bullet header, and Bulgaria celebrate accordingly.

8.07pm BST

To Belgium’s bid for the world No1 spot. A free kick for Israel just outside Belgium’s box, to the right of the D. Eran Zahavi curls it around the outside of the wall, and watches in horror as, having beaten the flailing Simon Mignolet, the ball crashes off the right-hand post. Lucky Belgium.

8.01pm BST

The first goal of the evening, and it’s a pearler! Medunjanin whistles a shot into the top left from the best part of 25 yards. As things stand, Wales’ conquerors of the weekend will be assured of the play-off spot.

7.56pm BST

But then the Dutch go up the other end. A low cross into the Czech box from the right, and Wesley Sneijder is free on the penalty spot. But he leans back and converts for some rugby union points. That’s no good at all.

7.55pm BST

A rare old atmosphere in the Amsterdam ArenA. The home fans making the most of European Championship action while they can. But the home side are already looking a little ragged. Jaroslav Plašil has just creamed a shot into the Dutch area from about 35 yards. Not short of confidence, then. The ball pinged around the area like one of Bally Manufacturing’s best. Dutch hearts in mouths before the thing’s hacked clear.

7.51pm BST

Of course, there’s one other biggie riding on tonight’s results. Here’s Jan Huyse to explain. “There are two big stories adding some spice to the Belgium-Israel game. Will Manchester City like the fact that Vincent Kompany starts? But more important: if Belgium wins they will be (on November 5) the next and newest number one on the Fifa World Ranking. They’d become the eighth (and smallest) country to make the number-one position in history (Spain, Brazil, Holland, Argentina, France, Germany and Italy are the other seven). In June 2007 Belgium was 71st. We all know the ranking is not very important, but the number-one club is a good one to be a member of.” If only this thing had been going in the 1880s. Scotland would have been all over it.

7.48pm BST

And there we go! Everyone’s kicked off! And within 40 seconds, Holland - who have to win to stand any chance of qualifying - should be leading against the Czechs. Anwar El Ghazi was found in acres down the right, on the edge of the area, but battered a panicked first-time shot straight at Petr Cech’s legs.

7.40pm BST

Super Victor, though. Ian Copestake has been mulling things over. “Super Victor’s innate happiness may be derived from his innocence of things corporate and corrupt, for he is but a child ...

7.19pm BST

Hack Chatting Out Of Hat (No.348,987,298 in an infinite series): Seems I was playing it a bit fast and loose with the old italics in the preamble. For it’s only Bulgaria versus Azerbaijan that means absolutely nothing tonight. “Sorry to correct you, Scott,” - please, Benedek Szabó, be my guest, someone’s got to do it - “but Latvia versus Kazakhstan does have some bearing on qualification matters. In case of an away win, Turkey only need to beat Iceland in Istanbul to be the best third-placed team and snatch automatic qualification from Hungary. The thought of this scenario leaves a whole nation trembling so we’re all die-hard Latvia fans tonight. After 29 years of waiting it would be an unbearably cruel - though I must admit, most typical - way to end the campaign.”

7.12pm BST

Tonight’s team news (brought to you by Super Victor):

6.49pm BST

Team news anon, but first things first. Because watch out! The sinister Euro 2016 mascot Super Victor is currently roaming around London. Here he is, jumping the gates at Olympia, where an exhibition dedicated to licensing and brand extension is being held. I know. An exhibition dedicated to licensing and brand extension. The sharpest thing on my desk right now is a teaspoon. Can you open up a vein with a teaspoon?

4.40pm BST

It’s the final night of the Euro 2016 qualifying groups! And

don’t worry, domestic football is back at the weekend
it’s all to play for.

One automatic qualifying position is up for grabs. That’s in Group H, where Norway are currently in the box seat. If they win in Italy against the already qualified azzurri, they’re through to the finals too. But if they don’t, Croatia can leapfrog them with a victory against the hapless Maltese.

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The Fiver | Those who feel uncomfortable around petty conflict

Click here to have the Fiver sent to your inbox every weekday at 5pm BST, or if your usual copy has stopped arriving

BIG APPOINTMENT

As a direct consequence of all the noise last weekend surrounding the arrival in England of Jürgen Klopp, the appointment of Big Sam Allardyce at Sunderland went largely unremarked. In a textbook example of modern media management, the Black Cats rather wisely opted to hold back their big unveil until everyone became bored rigid of Liverpool again. That didn’t take too long, did it, and so now they’ve got the floor to themselves. First up, a video interview was posted on their official website, in which Allardyce spoke of his excitement within the first two seconds of his opening answer, uttered the phrase “difficult job” within another four, then let out a long sigh on the 11-second mark. Extrapolate that trend, and he’ll have resigned in tears by tea-time on Wednesday, making the reign of Ricky Sbragia look like Guy Roux’s stint at Auxerre.

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England qualify for Euros with 100% record – what happened to the first five who did it?

England have become the sixth team to go through qualifying for a European Championship without losing a point – but that does not guarantee success when the tournament comes around

France, champions in 1984, had failed to qualify for Euro 88 as holders, then were unable to make the 1990 World Cup. Michel Platini’s team were back in the big time at Euro 92, having topped what looked a tricky qualifying group including Czechoslovakia and Spain with eight wins out of eight. With Jean-Pierre Papin the hottest striker in Europe at the time, and Eric Cantona in the midst of his most prolific period for Les Bleus, France were highly regarded going into the championships. But though Papin scored twice at the tournament, their play was generally uninspired and they failed to escape the group. They drew with hosts Sweden and Graham Taylor’s England, then were knocked out by the eventual champions, Denmark. The only memorable mark they left on the tournament was the one Basile Boli planted on Stuart Pearce’s cheekbone. SM

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Lithuania v England: Euro 2016 qualifier – as it happened

England make it a perfect ten out of ten with an easy win in Vilnius.

9.36pm BST

And after three added minutes containing nothing, it’s all over. An easy victory. England become only the fifth country in the history of the European Championships to make it to the tournament with a perfect, 100 percent record in qualifying. France 1992, Czech Republic 2000, France 2004, Germany 2012, Spain 2012, and now England 2016. A select list. Now they just need to win the thing itself, something those aforementioned four nations, in various guises, have done so nine times. No biggie. Over to you next summer, Roy!

9.33pm BST

90 min: A little space for Vaitkunas down the left. He loops a cross towards the far post, where a couple of yellow shirts hover. Gibbs rises to head clear. Calm defending. England have been barely tested at the back. Jack Butland, on his full competitive debut, is not likely to complain.

9.31pm BST

88 min: Everyone dreaming of home.

9.28pm BST

85 min: Spalvis, his head gone, is replaced by Matulevicius. Just before the substitution, Vardy had looped a header goalwards from a right-wing Townsend cross, but there wasn’t much juice on the effort and Arlauskis was able to pluck it from the sky.

9.27pm BST

84 min: Spalvis, who is gloriously chippy and therefore highly entertaining to watch, picks up a booking for a totally pointless clip on Townsend’s ankles as the England man skitters down the right.

9.25pm BST

83 min: Freidgeimas has a dig from 25 yards. File it away as an art piece. Here’s Simon McMahon: “Crowd silent. Training ground atmosphere. Comfortable away win. Are you at Tannadice?”

9.23pm BST

82 min: Andriuskevicius is replaced by Vaitkunas.

9.22pm BST

79 min: ... farcical scenes as Andriuskevicius sees his free kick, 25 yards out and level with the right-hand post, blocked by Shelvey, who’s gone too early. He’s booked. Then the retake. And this time Vardy is booked for coming at Andriuskevicius too soon! What a business. Eventually Slivka takes. Butland plucks his effort out of the sky without too much fuss.

9.20pm BST

77 min: Vardy upends Panka as Lithuania embark on a rare sortie into English territory. That’s a daft challenge, as the hosts were going nowhere. A free kick in a dangerous position. From which ...

9.17pm BST

75 min: Alli looks the real deal. He’s been at the heart of everything since coming on, shifting the play this way and that. He slips a pass down the right to release Townsend into space. The cross is headed clear by Klimavicius.

9.16pm BST

74 min: Townsend comes on for Barkley.

9.15pm BST

73 min: Vardy finds himself in acres down the right, but can’t search out a team-mate with his dinked cross.

9.14pm BST

72 min: Attack versus defence. Lithuania are sitting back, happy to hold a line on the edge of their own area. Pass, pass, passity, pass. Then suddenly Alli, in from the left, slides the ball to Ings, who fires a low shot towards the bottom left. Arlauskis, who has been highly impressive tonight for a keeper who’s scored an own goal and let one in at his near post, parries brilliantly. Lithuania hack the ball out for a corner, and deal with the resulting set piece.

9.12pm BST

69 min: It’s not much of a spectacle, now, this. The crowd almost silent. A training-ground atmosphere.

9.09pm BST

67 min: England make their second change. Dele Alli, who got a couple of minutes of England action under his belt against Estonia on Friday, will see more of the action tonight. He replaces Lallana, who set up the second goal beautifully, but otherwise did his usual act of flattering to deceive.

9.08pm BST

66 min: Shelvey loses the ball on the edge of his own area, allowing Slivka to drift inside and look for the top left. His shot is all over the place, but that was a little sloppy by England.

9.07pm BST

63 min: Novikovas - who a couple of minutes went down on one knee like an NFL quarterback running down the clock and, near the England fans, was pelted by a couple of programmes and a toilet roll for his trouble - limps off injured. The former Hearts man is replaced by the Nottingham Forest youngster Deimantas Petravicius.

9.05pm BST

Walker slips a ball down the inside-right channel for Oxlade-Chamberlain, who enters the area in plenty of space. Oxlade-Chamberlain opts for power, blasting a riser into the top right. Arlauskis was beaten at his near post there, but the shot was so venomous you can’t blame the keeper. A fine finish.

9.03pm BST

61 min: Shelvey, down the left, swings a ball wide right for Ings, who cushions the ball to Oxlade-Chamberlain. The Arsenal man cuts inside, past a couple of challenges, and a little space opens up. Enough time for a shot, but Oxlade-Chamberlain can’t quite set himself and the effort dribbles weakly to Arlauskis.

9.01pm BST

59 min: No goal for Kane tonight, then. He’s replaced by debutant Danny Ings.

9.01pm BST

58 min: Oxlade-Chamberlain skedaddles down the right. Zulpa comes across and shoves him off the ball in a very basic style. The most obvious free kick you’ll see in a while. England make no fuss, and there’s no yellow card, though Zulpa has the chutzpah to look incredulous. Lallana’s whipped ball in is easily cleared.

8.59pm BST

56 min: Shelvey has a dig from 25 yards down the inside-right channel. It flies harmlessly high and wide to the left.

8.58pm BST

54 min: Spalvis attempts to slide a pass through the middle of the England back line for Cernych, but Jagielka steps in to intercept calmly. Spalvis considers tangling with Jagielka in a robust manner, throwing an arm around the England captain’s neck, but doesn’t commit totally to the gesture. Jagielka looked primed to respond if he was pulled back by the neck. He’s lively, is Spalvis.

8.55pm BST

52 min: Oxlade-Chamberlain zips down the right and slides the ball into the area for Kane, level with the right-hand post, ten yards out. Kane should score, but his shot towards the right is saved by Arlauskis. A brilliant parry, but the ball bounds back to Kane. Who really should score the second one, but his weak hoick towards an unguarded net is hacked away by Mikuckis. Barkley meets the corner and sends the ball towards the bottom right, but Arlauskis - who has been excellent, Watford fans will be pleased to note - saves again.

8.53pm BST

49 min: Novikovas is late on Lallana as the England midfielder looks to retrieve a Gibbs throw near the corner flag. The free kick’s whipped into the mixer, where Shelvey and Kane both try to get shots away from the left-hand corner of the six-yard box. A scramble, with Arlauskis again denying the Spurs striker, and the ball’s knocked out for a corner, from which nothing comes.

8.50pm BST

47 min: Walker embarks on a power dribble down the inside-right channel. He’s eaten up nearly half the pitch. But once he enters the area, the ball takes a flyer off the wet surface and out for a goal kick. He had plenty of options in the middle there.

8.48pm BST

No changes. England get the ball rolling again. “Can you have daisycutters (40 min) on an artificial pitch or is that what a 3G pitch provides over earlier generations?” wonders Colin Tuff, not without reason. Yes, I didn’t think that through, did I.

8.35pm BST

Half-time entertainment: Jūra (The Sea) by Lithuanian polymath Mikalojus Konstantinas Čiurlionis.

8.33pm BST

There’s time for Vardy to pick up possession to the left of the area, found in space by a lovely pass from Gibbs. Vardy cuts inside and looks to unleash a spectacular curler into the top right. Three rugby points, and that’s that for the first half. England in complete control, even if they’ve needed a deflection and an own goal to score. They’re 45 minutes away from completing a perfect qualification campaign.

8.30pm BST

45 min: Novikovas, who is limping slightly, tries to curl one into the top-left corner from the best part of 40 yards. Full marks for ambition.

8.29pm BST

43 min: Just seen replays of England’s second, and that’s definitely an own goal. Poor Kane. Poor Arlauskis. But I’ve underplayed the contribution of Lallana, whose involvement in the one-two was a delightful little backflick.

8.28pm BST

42 min: Barkley, on the left-hand corner of the Lithuanian box, rolls a ball across the face of it, into the path of Shelvey, who looks for the bottom-left corner. Not enough venom in the shot, and Arlauskis is able to smother.

8.26pm BST

40 min: Novikovas cuts in from the right with purpose. He should be stopped by Vardy, but is allowed to make it as far as the left-hand corner of the England D before whizzing a half-decent daisycutter wide right of goal.

8.25pm BST

38 min: Kane is unstoppable right now. He’s been England’s best player by some distance. He twists and turns in the middle, surrounded by yellow shirts. He’s got no right to get a shot away, but manages it, a powerful low effort fizzing just wide of the left-hand post. Lithuania are hanging on here, and that 100% record looks nailed on already.

8.23pm BST

Six caps and four goals for Harry Kane! Or is it? He exchanges passes with Lallana down the inside-left channel and is free in the box. A lovely brisk one-two. He lashes a shot towards the bottom left corner. And in it goes. But on second viewing, that looks to have come off the bottom of the post and onto the back of the keeper before going in. Kane deserves the goal for the brilliance of the move and crispness of the strike, but I’m not sure he’s going to get it.

8.20pm BST

34 min: Cernych flicks a ball down the left for Spalvis, who strides into the area and lashes confidently for the right-hand portion of the goal. Butland, at full stretch, tips the ball round for a corner, which comes to nothing. That’s better from the home side, who have been non-existent in attack. And a very fine save for Butland, who has had nothing whatsoever to do, and must be bloody cold.

8.19pm BST

33 min: Lallana is sent crashing by Andriuskevicius as he scampers after Oxlade-Chamberlain’s pass. Free kick, which he hoicks into the area with a view to his captain crashing a header home. Jagielka can’t connect.

8.17pm BST

31 min: Gibbs chips a ball down the left for Vardy, who hooks it over Freidgeimas and romps into the box. His low cross nearly finds Kane, but Arlauskis is out quickly to ensure the ball doesn’t reach the England striker.

8.16pm BST

There’s not much going on. And then suddenly Barkley is given the ball by Kane down the inside left. He drops a shoulder to move inside, and on the edge of the D takes a whack at goal. It clangs into the back of Mikuckis and curls at pace onto the left-hand post, before nestling in the back of the net. A stroke of luck there, but Barkley did wonderfully well to make himself some space to shoot, and hit that shot with enough venom that any deflection was always going to cause all sorts of trouble.

8.13pm BST

27 min: Lallana dances down the inside-right channel, making himself a little space but then shanking a poor effort well right of the target from a not particularly tight angle.

8.12pm BST

25 min: Gibbs feeds Vardy down the left. Vardy loops a cross into the middle. A bouncing bomb, it rears up off the surface and over Kane’s head on the penalty spot. For a second it looks like the ball might fluke its way into the bottom-right corner, but the ever-alert Arlauskis is there to sort things out.

8.10pm BST

23 min: Kane again makes good down the left channel and whistles a shot towards the bottom-left corner. Arlauskis is down to parry. Vardy should be first at the scene, ready to slap the rebound home, but he’s rocking back on his heels, and Mikuckis can batter clear. Kane has been magnificent so far.

8.09pm BST

22 min: Effin’ and jeffin’ latest: turns out Roy Hodgson was annoyed at the presence of a television camera in front of the England dugout, room in this stadium being at something of a premium. Gary Neville has wandered off elsewhere to train his angry peepers on the match unhindered.

8.07pm BST

20 min: A much-needed period of possession for the hosts, who stroke it around the back awhile, just to catch their breath. They’ve been on the back foot for the majority of this match. By way of illustration, England have completed 136 passes to Lithuania’s 45.

8.04pm BST

18 min: Lallana twinkletoes down the right and sends a cross in towards Vardy, who rises, his presence winning a corner. Yet again the set piece isn’t up to much, and Arlayskis claims a high ball.

8.03pm BST

17 min: It’s all England at the moment. Lithuania are holding their shape just about. “ITV keep banging on about the pitch in commentary like its a Martian surface,” reports Jeremy Dresner. “Our women in Canada never had an issue with them.”

8.01pm BST

14 min: See 11 min, though this time Kane ghosts in from the right, picking up a Lallana pass and battering a Shearer-style shot goalwards from a tight angle. Arlauskis turns the ball around the post. The corner is a non-event.

7.59pm BST

13 min: Oxlade-Chamberlain picks up possession in the middle of the park and slides a pass down the inside-left channel. It zips away for a goal kick, with Vardy unable to reach it. The hosts a little ragged at the back.

7.57pm BST

11 min: Kane glides in from the left wing and unleashes a dangerous shot towards the bottom left. It’s swerving and bouncing. It’s either hitting the post or creeping in, so Arlauskis does marvellously well to fingertip the ball round the post. The corner is easily snaffled by the goalkeeper, who earned his corn right there.

7.56pm BST

9 min: Roy Hodgson is given a stern lecture by the referee. He’s been on the talk in the trenchant style. The referee’s not happy, and effectively informs him that one more word and he’ll be sent to the stand. Gary Neville is far from impressed. Eyes as lasers at the ref. You wouldn’t fancy getting in his way right now. I wonder who taught him that look?

7.54pm BST

8 min: A couple of gentle thrusts from England. First Lallana goes on a power meander down the inside right before being abruptly stopped in his tracks. Then Kane goes on a walk down the same wing before lifting a diagonal ball across to Vardy, who again can’t keep it in play as he tries to make ground down the left flank.

7.51pm BST

5 min: Barkley, in the centre circle, plays a first-time pass down the left to release Vardy into space. Vardy fancies himself in a footrace with the full back Freidgeimas, and would probably have won it had he not severely overhit the ball he played to scamper after down the wing. Goal kick.

7.49pm BST

3 min: Slivka, in a bit of space down the inside-right channel, has a whack at a dropping ball. The effort is sliced well wide right of the target. He has the good grace to look a little sheepish.

7.48pm BST

2 min: The mist comes down on Spalvis after a minor tangle down the left with Gibbs. For a second it looks like it might kick off in a rather amusing and totally unnecessary style, but the referee steps in to remind Spalvis that he’s a grown adult. England get on with things, switching the play to the right, Oxlade-Chamberlain finding a bit of space near the area but unable to find a man in the middle. Arlauskis, the Watford reserves in the Lithuania goal, gathers.

7.46pm BST

Lithuania get the ball rolling. Slivka to Spalvis. A wonderful atmosphere being whipped up by the small crowd. Nothing’s riding on this - not really, that 100 percent record isn’t the be all and end all - but you wouldn’t know it.

7.45pm BST

The teams are out! Lithuania are in their first-choice yellow shirts, while England will be running hither and yon in their white tops. It’s a gorgeous stadium, the LFF stadionas. There’s only room for around 5,000 fans, but it’s a pretty little place, trees lining one side, overhanging the stand. Shades of the Estádio Nacional in Lisbon, where Celtic won their European Cup. Only colder. The anthems are belted out by both sets of players, cold vapour forming around their mouths like comedy beards. And here, the Lithuanian crest is lovely. Shades of the Soviet Union badge from days gone by. We’ll be off in a second or two!

7.34pm BST

Roy talks turf. Or the lack of it. “As artificial pitches go, it’s a good one. It’s not quite the latest but one of the later ones, but I’m sure it will play true. Lithuania are more used to playing on it than our boys, but I’m not that concerned about it, and I think they’ll deal with it.”

7.28pm BST

Temperatures are set to drop below freezing in Vilnius this evening. You know what would be handy on a night like this? A half-and-half scarf, that’s what. A memento of your day out, they annoy the hell out of pompous purists, and you won’t catch your death. You’re three in the hole. Sadly they don’t appear to be on sale at the LFF stadionas tonight. The local entrepreneurs have failed to mobilise it would seem. Either that or the local photographers can’t be bothered taking snaps of merchandise stalls, which is fair enough.

7.09pm BST

Lithuania: Arlauskis, Freidgeimas, Mikuckis, Klimavicius, Andriuskevicius, Novikovas, Panka, Zulpa, Cernych, Slivka, Spalvis.
Subs: Zubas, Slavickas, Cesnauskis, Vaitkunas, Matulevicius, Petravicius, Pilibaitis, Kuklys, Veliulis, Baravykas, Cerniauskas.

England: Butland, Walker, Jones, Jagielka, Gibbs, Barkley, Shelvey, Lallana, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Kane, Vardy.
Subs: Heaton, Smalling, Walcott, Clyne, Bertrand, Townsend, Ings, Sterling, Alli.

7.07pm BST

While England’s two leading goalscorers in this campaign, Wayne Rooney (seven) and Danny Welbeck (six) sit it out injured, Lithuania can call on their two top scorers: Arvydas Novikovas, once of Hearts, and Fiodor Cernych have two apiece. The home team will still be up against it, mind you. England and Lithuania have met seven times in various Uefa competitions across the age groups, and the English have won five of the matches, drawing the other two. The one full international between the countries ended 4-0 to England this March, the aforementioned Rooney and Welbeck chipping in, Raheem Sterling and Harry Kane also on the scoresheet.

6.53pm BST

Your England starting XI: Butland, Walker, Gibbs, Jones, Jagielka, Shelvey, Barkley, Lallana, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Vardy, Kane.

So England boss Roy Hodgson has given his team a good old shoogle, much as expected. Only three players who started against Estonia on Friday retain their place: Harry Kane, Ross Barkley and Adam Lallana. Phil Jagielka captains the side in the absence of the injured Wayne Rooney, and with normal deputies Gary Cahill and Joe Hart back at home with the feet up and cigars on. Jack Butland and Kyle Walker become the 31st and 32nd players to be used by England in this qualification campaign; if substitute Danny Ings gets a run-out, it’ll be 33 up.

6.30pm BST

France in 1992. Czech Republic in 2000. France again in 2004. And Germany and Spain in 2012. Only five teams have qualified for the European Championship finals with a perfect record in their group. England could make it six tonight.

England should make it six tonight. They’ve done all the hard work, beating Switzerland, Slovenia, Estonia and San Marino home and away, and seeing off tonight’s opponents Lithuania 4-0 at Wembley earlier this year. A 100% record is theirs for the taking.

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