Kate Rothwell's Blog, page 31
August 15, 2011
Snapshots from Our Vacation
No literal snaps, unless Alex sends them...What with college in our lives, family vacation has gone from a week to two days. From a cottage on a lake to a hotel room near the airport in Rhode Island. The 5 of us jammed into a 1 bedroom Homewood suite that really should have been one room.
BUT. Listen. It was great. You should be sad you weren't us.
Highlights:
--I don't get why that fire thing is so cool even when it's entirely cheesy and we joined the army of tourists crowding along the shores to watch. But the smell and crackle of the fire and the new age music and most especially (this is the important part for me) the silly chandeliers under the walking bridges all work perfectly. Yes. Thumbs up.
--A festival featuring Bolivia? Um. Columbia? Somewhere. We stumbled across something in the dark that featured a lot of dancers in glittery costumes and red underwear. Also big slabs of meat and empanadas sold from trucks. Two thumbs up and pass the napkins. Oh, and everyone who can say TDBANK! got a drawstring bag. All five of us said TDBANK! and we haven't even lost one of our new bags yet.
--The zoo. We'd taken the guys when they were little, of course. But little kids look at the animals and aren't amazed, I mean, jeez, the whole world is funkadelic to them. (look mommy! a car!!) My guys looked at the giraffes and could not believe them. I mean WTF. Giraffes. Those tongues? And the emus. The giant cockroaches. Whoa.
So many obscene jokes to be made but not when lots of small kids are around, boys, I mean it shut up with those jokes.
Plus no one had to be carried up hills. Anyone who whined could be ignored, although no one did, come to think of it. AND the serious rain started after we left.
-- The Culinary Arts Museum. We've been to the maple museum and the marble museum, so we consider ourselves experts. This was actually more of a museum. With interesting things. I hope the picture of the guys posing with the giant Mr. Potato Head worked.
--Impulse shopping at Stop and Shop and watching Blade Runner at the hotel instead of going to a movie theater. Eh, a small highlight but that counts.
--The hotel pool. The size of a big bathtub yet it still worked as a place to try to drown each other, especially when no one else staying at the hotel ventured in. I didn't swim. I did watch for entertainment's sake.
--The mall. Today there was a huge rainstorm that had no intention of moving on, so the plan to walk around Providence was scotched. And anyway, the museum we wanted to see was closed. Instead we went to the mall armed with two goals.
1. to buy a present for one of the other five of us (name drawn from hat. Dog added as name at last minute, so one of us [me] had two names.) gift to cost less than $10
This worked well, although I'm not sure what the middle guy is going to do with the lacy leopard print thong his brother picked for him.
2. to make a list of mall tropes spotted during the 1 hour shopping trip. Whoever discovered the greatest number of tropes won. Since I was the only one who really took that part of the outing seriously, I whupped ass. Here are some we found:
new car in middle of mall
twins in side-by-side stroller
enormously pregnant woman puffing along, with many small kids in tow.
serious mall walkers ignoring everyone else
two stores in a row with push-up bra displays.
woman threatening son with violence
swarm of teenagers, loitering
6x back to school! displays
fat mall security cop
women dressed in black with immaculate make-up (elegant and scary varieties)
groups of retirees hanging around the food court
groups of special needs types on an outing.
many Bieber displays
three jewelry stores on three corners of an intersection.
a store with 'n in its title
Then we ate scary mall food, because it was too rainy to go anywhere else, and we drove home. Naturally being an internet savvy sort, I wouldn't mention being away from home until we came back. None of you scary internet peoples can crash here any more. We have our dog back and we're all off in different corners of the house. We don't have to share a bathroom or a raather tight space any longer.
2.5 days works well for togetherness.
BUT. Listen. It was great. You should be sad you weren't us.
Highlights:
--I don't get why that fire thing is so cool even when it's entirely cheesy and we joined the army of tourists crowding along the shores to watch. But the smell and crackle of the fire and the new age music and most especially (this is the important part for me) the silly chandeliers under the walking bridges all work perfectly. Yes. Thumbs up.
--A festival featuring Bolivia? Um. Columbia? Somewhere. We stumbled across something in the dark that featured a lot of dancers in glittery costumes and red underwear. Also big slabs of meat and empanadas sold from trucks. Two thumbs up and pass the napkins. Oh, and everyone who can say TDBANK! got a drawstring bag. All five of us said TDBANK! and we haven't even lost one of our new bags yet.
--The zoo. We'd taken the guys when they were little, of course. But little kids look at the animals and aren't amazed, I mean, jeez, the whole world is funkadelic to them. (look mommy! a car!!) My guys looked at the giraffes and could not believe them. I mean WTF. Giraffes. Those tongues? And the emus. The giant cockroaches. Whoa.
So many obscene jokes to be made but not when lots of small kids are around, boys, I mean it shut up with those jokes.
Plus no one had to be carried up hills. Anyone who whined could be ignored, although no one did, come to think of it. AND the serious rain started after we left.
-- The Culinary Arts Museum. We've been to the maple museum and the marble museum, so we consider ourselves experts. This was actually more of a museum. With interesting things. I hope the picture of the guys posing with the giant Mr. Potato Head worked.
--Impulse shopping at Stop and Shop and watching Blade Runner at the hotel instead of going to a movie theater. Eh, a small highlight but that counts.
--The hotel pool. The size of a big bathtub yet it still worked as a place to try to drown each other, especially when no one else staying at the hotel ventured in. I didn't swim. I did watch for entertainment's sake.
--The mall. Today there was a huge rainstorm that had no intention of moving on, so the plan to walk around Providence was scotched. And anyway, the museum we wanted to see was closed. Instead we went to the mall armed with two goals.
1. to buy a present for one of the other five of us (name drawn from hat. Dog added as name at last minute, so one of us [me] had two names.) gift to cost less than $10
This worked well, although I'm not sure what the middle guy is going to do with the lacy leopard print thong his brother picked for him.
2. to make a list of mall tropes spotted during the 1 hour shopping trip. Whoever discovered the greatest number of tropes won. Since I was the only one who really took that part of the outing seriously, I whupped ass. Here are some we found:
new car in middle of mall
twins in side-by-side stroller
enormously pregnant woman puffing along, with many small kids in tow.
serious mall walkers ignoring everyone else
two stores in a row with push-up bra displays.
woman threatening son with violence
swarm of teenagers, loitering
6x back to school! displays
fat mall security cop
women dressed in black with immaculate make-up (elegant and scary varieties)
groups of retirees hanging around the food court
groups of special needs types on an outing.
many Bieber displays
three jewelry stores on three corners of an intersection.
a store with 'n in its title
Then we ate scary mall food, because it was too rainy to go anywhere else, and we drove home. Naturally being an internet savvy sort, I wouldn't mention being away from home until we came back. None of you scary internet peoples can crash here any more. We have our dog back and we're all off in different corners of the house. We don't have to share a bathroom or a raather tight space any longer.
2.5 days works well for togetherness.
August 9, 2011
Stop hinting at the question. I'll tell you.
Most months I make enough to cover about a week's grocery bill and maybe a pizza order --if we stick to plain pizza. I mean just enough pizza for the five of us. If one of the kids have a friend over, nope, not enough. If we were to translate this into the college bill, I'd say I'd cover a quarter credit a month, maybe.
Why am I writing this? Because people keep wondering about how much money I make and implying that I should make enough to do something about the car situation** by buying a brand new car. As in new? I don't think so.
I don't particularly mind telling you. I'm not being coy when I don't get specific with numbers because there's no knowing exactly what'll happen month to month. Most months I make more than $100 and less than $500.
Now you know.
__________
**the minivan that wouldn't start last month now won't stop. I came to the stop sign at the end of the block, put my foot on the brakes--and as my foot slammed all the way to the floor, the van slid gently through the 4 way stop. I'm fairly convinced this is not a murder conspiracy. There's no life insurance on me.
Why am I writing this? Because people keep wondering about how much money I make and implying that I should make enough to do something about the car situation** by buying a brand new car. As in new? I don't think so.
I don't particularly mind telling you. I'm not being coy when I don't get specific with numbers because there's no knowing exactly what'll happen month to month. Most months I make more than $100 and less than $500.
Now you know.
__________
**the minivan that wouldn't start last month now won't stop. I came to the stop sign at the end of the block, put my foot on the brakes--and as my foot slammed all the way to the floor, the van slid gently through the 4 way stop. I'm fairly convinced this is not a murder conspiracy. There's no life insurance on me.
Stop hinting at the question. I'll tell you.
Most months I make enough to cover about a week's grocery bill and maybe a pizza order --if we stick to plain pizza. I mean just enough pizza for the five of us. If one of the kids have a friend over, nope, not enough. If we were to translate this into the college bill, I'd say I'd cover a quarter credit a month, maybe.
Why am I writing this? Because people keep wondering about how much money I make and implying that I should make enough to do something about the car situation** by buying a brand new car. As in new? I don't think so.
I don't particularly mind telling you. I'm not being coy when I don't get specific with numbers because there's no knowing exactly what'll happen month to month. Most months I make more than $100 and less than $500.
Now you know.
__________
**the minivan that wouldn't start last month now won't stop. I came to the stop sign at the end of the block, put my foot on the brakes--and as my foot slammed all the way to the floor, the van slid gently through the 4 way stop. I'm fairly convinced this is not a murder conspiracy. There's no life insurance on me.
Why am I writing this? Because people keep wondering about how much money I make and implying that I should make enough to do something about the car situation** by buying a brand new car. As in new? I don't think so.
I don't particularly mind telling you. I'm not being coy when I don't get specific with numbers because there's no knowing exactly what'll happen month to month. Most months I make more than $100 and less than $500.
Now you know.
__________
**the minivan that wouldn't start last month now won't stop. I came to the stop sign at the end of the block, put my foot on the brakes--and as my foot slammed all the way to the floor, the van slid gently through the 4 way stop. I'm fairly convinced this is not a murder conspiracy. There's no life insurance on me.
August 4, 2011
lifted from regretsy
and I'll get sued for unfair use or something but it'll be worth it. (I think fenrislorsrai wrote it.)
July 29, 2011
I was just about to get shirty with tiny letters
I make and send my newsletters with tiny letters -- and thought the service was the bee's knees
until I got sixteen copies of my last newsletter in my own inbox. Sixteen of the same promo-y newsletter filling up my inbox page, and, what's worse, maybe also filling up your inboxes.
Grrr. That's not going to win me friends and influence readers.
But I just got an apologetic note from Mr. Tinyletter Man himself. Apparently he had issues with multiple copies of one of his emails going out into the world over and over and over . . . I can't stay shirty when he is so clearly mortified.
I'm done with him at the moment -- as in I no longer feel the need to express my opinion.
But let me just say to anyone who's seen one or both of my newsletters over and over and over and over and over and oo jeez. . .Sorry.
As Mr Tinyletter Man himself said, Sorry about that and I'm almost positive it won't happen again.
If it does, and we all end up with way too many copies of that newsletter, I'll pick up the sword of self righteous fury (more like the scissors or paring knife of SRF) and wave it at Mr. TLM. And maybe I'll even look for another way to send out newsletters. Bah.
Grrr. That's not going to win me friends and influence readers.
But I just got an apologetic note from Mr. Tinyletter Man himself. Apparently he had issues with multiple copies of one of his emails going out into the world over and over and over . . . I can't stay shirty when he is so clearly mortified.
I'm done with him at the moment -- as in I no longer feel the need to express my opinion.
But let me just say to anyone who's seen one or both of my newsletters over and over and over and over and over and oo jeez. . .Sorry.
As Mr Tinyletter Man himself said, Sorry about that and I'm almost positive it won't happen again.
If it does, and we all end up with way too many copies of that newsletter, I'll pick up the sword of self righteous fury (more like the scissors or paring knife of SRF) and wave it at Mr. TLM. And maybe I'll even look for another way to send out newsletters. Bah.
I was just about to get shirty with tiny letters
I sent out newsletters with tiny letters -- and thought the service was the bee's knees until I got sixteen copies of my last newsletter in my own inbox. Sixteen of the same promo-y newsletter filling up my inbox page, and, what's worse, maybe also filling up your inboxes.
Grrr. That's not going to win me friends and influence readers.
But I just got an apologetic note from Mr. Tinyletter Man himself. Apparently he had issues with multiple copies of one of his emails going out into the world over and over and over . . . I can't stay shirty when he is so clearly mortified.
I'm done with him at the moment as in I no longer feel the need to express my opinion.
But let me just say to anyone who's seen one or both of my newsletters over and over and over and over and oo jeez. . .Sorry.
As Mr Tinyletter Man himself said, Sorry about that and I'm almost positive it won't happen again.
If it does, I'll pick up the sword of self righteous fury (more like the scissors or paring knife of SRF) and wave it at Mr. TLM. And maybe I'll even look for another way to send out newsletters. Bah.
Grrr. That's not going to win me friends and influence readers.
But I just got an apologetic note from Mr. Tinyletter Man himself. Apparently he had issues with multiple copies of one of his emails going out into the world over and over and over . . . I can't stay shirty when he is so clearly mortified.
I'm done with him at the moment as in I no longer feel the need to express my opinion.
But let me just say to anyone who's seen one or both of my newsletters over and over and over and over and oo jeez. . .Sorry.
As Mr Tinyletter Man himself said, Sorry about that and I'm almost positive it won't happen again.
If it does, I'll pick up the sword of self righteous fury (more like the scissors or paring knife of SRF) and wave it at Mr. TLM. And maybe I'll even look for another way to send out newsletters. Bah.
July 28, 2011
Every now and then when I think about my kids, I realize ...
Every now and then when I think about my kids, I realize how very cool they are and how much I like them. I love them, too, but liking your kids isn't a given. Mine are funny, interesting, and even if nice doesn't always show itself (scuse me? boys? teenagers?) there's nice under there -- scathes of it. Oceans of nice. Ditto integrity. They get that from their dad.
Anyway, the next time one of them annoys the shit out of me, I'll have to reread this.
Anyway, the next time one of them annoys the shit out of me, I'll have to reread this.
Every now and then when I think about my kids, I realize ...
Every now and then when I think about my kids, I realize how very cool they are and how much I like them. I love them, too, but liking your kids isn't a given. Mine are funny, interesting, and even if nice doesn't always show itself (scuse me? boys? teenagers?) there's nice under there -- scathes of it. Oceans of nice. Ditto integrity. They get that from their dad.
Anyway, the next time one of them annoys the shit out of me, I'll have to reread this.
Anyway, the next time one of them annoys the shit out of me, I'll have to reread this.
July 25, 2011
Resigned to my popular fiction fate SBD
Okay, that didn't last long.
I looked through my oldest's books. He's an honest-to-god intellectual, an English major and has bookshelves crammed with volumes of essays and books like The Cambridge Companion to Narrative. He reads this stuff even when he doesn't have to--this is his entertainment.
I picked up a book by a Brazilian author. Oh, man, I have to read and reread the first page -- and the author's voice is annoying, or maybe it's the translator. Could you be any more pompous? So how about a bit of James Joyce instead? Yup, he's simple, elegant compared to that lumbering elephant prose. The Dubliners. I loved those stories right? I think? A story or two in, I remembered the misery.
I wandered out to the family room to find something else to read. Maybe the Essays of George Orwell. That'll expand the mind.
Hey! Right next to Orwell was that missing copy of Cry Mercy by Toni Andrews that I'd started and lost a couple of months back. Yes! Score!
Anyway. I tried, sort of.
I looked through my oldest's books. He's an honest-to-god intellectual, an English major and has bookshelves crammed with volumes of essays and books like The Cambridge Companion to Narrative. He reads this stuff even when he doesn't have to--this is his entertainment.
I picked up a book by a Brazilian author. Oh, man, I have to read and reread the first page -- and the author's voice is annoying, or maybe it's the translator. Could you be any more pompous? So how about a bit of James Joyce instead? Yup, he's simple, elegant compared to that lumbering elephant prose. The Dubliners. I loved those stories right? I think? A story or two in, I remembered the misery.
I wandered out to the family room to find something else to read. Maybe the Essays of George Orwell. That'll expand the mind.
Hey! Right next to Orwell was that missing copy of Cry Mercy by Toni Andrews that I'd started and lost a couple of months back. Yes! Score!
Anyway. I tried, sort of.
Resigned to my popular fiction fate SBD
Okay, that didn't last long.
I looked through my oldest's books. He's an honest-to-god intellectual, an English major and has bookshelves crammed with volumes of essays and books like The Cambridge Companion to Narrative. He reads this stuff even when he doesn't have to--this is his entertainment.
I picked up a book by a Brazilian author. Oh, man, I have to read and reread the first page -- and the author's voice is annoying, or maybe it's the translator. Could you be any more pompous? So how about a bit of James Joyce instead? Yup, he's simple, elegant compared to that lumbering elephant prose. The Dubliners. I loved those stories right? I think? A story or two in, I remembered the misery.
I wandered out to the family room to find something else to read. Maybe the Essays of George Orwell. That'll expand the mind.
Hey! Right next to Orwell was that missing copy of Cry Mercy by Toni Andrews that I'd started and lost a couple of months back. Yes! Score!
Anyway. I tried, sort of.
I looked through my oldest's books. He's an honest-to-god intellectual, an English major and has bookshelves crammed with volumes of essays and books like The Cambridge Companion to Narrative. He reads this stuff even when he doesn't have to--this is his entertainment.
I picked up a book by a Brazilian author. Oh, man, I have to read and reread the first page -- and the author's voice is annoying, or maybe it's the translator. Could you be any more pompous? So how about a bit of James Joyce instead? Yup, he's simple, elegant compared to that lumbering elephant prose. The Dubliners. I loved those stories right? I think? A story or two in, I remembered the misery.
I wandered out to the family room to find something else to read. Maybe the Essays of George Orwell. That'll expand the mind.
Hey! Right next to Orwell was that missing copy of Cry Mercy by Toni Andrews that I'd started and lost a couple of months back. Yes! Score!
Anyway. I tried, sort of.
