Bryce Beattie's Blog, page 8

Once Upon and Through the Mountain

When my oldest was a toddler, I started the habit of reading to her at night. As more kids showed up and life has happened, this habit has come and gone many times. We’ve cruised through like 12 of the Oz books, The Prydain Chronicles, countless fairy tales from Grimm to Andersen to Lang, Milne’s Winnie the Pooh books (which are great, the modern spin-offs… not so much,) George Macdonald’s “The Princess and…” books, Lewis Carrol’s Alice books, and a bunch more. I enjoy reading to my kids probably more than they like it. I love the subtle humor, the insight into personalities, and the wildly imaginative plots. All this and I’m able to grow the bond I have with my kids.

Now, those who know me know that I love writing. Several years ago, I think 2011 or 2012, I took a crack at National Novel Writing Month to see if I could produce a children’s novel worth reading to my kids. I got about 60% or so with the story and then life got in the way. Over the next couple of years, I worked on it in between my regular pulpy action stuff until I had an complete story.

Fast forward a couple of years. In that time, I became more serious about my writing. I studied storytelling, began attending conferences, and actively sought to improve my writing. I took another look at my book, fixed up a bunch of things and hired an editor. (hi Liz!) I still wasn’t sure what to actually do with the book, though.

You can self publish and market a book to adults easy enough. They have computers and credit cards. But what do you do with kids’ books?

I met Jason King at LTUE 2017 during the Immortal Works shindig. Immortal Works was new and looking for books appropriate for all ages, but that adults would still enjoy. This was the type of publisher I was looking for. I spoke with him and some of the other Immortal Works crew during Fyrecon a couple of months later. I drafted the very best query letter ever of all time, and long story short…

Today is the day that book is born into the world!

So friends, family, and casual internet acquaintances, let me introduce you to “Once Upon and Through the Mountain.”

Once Upon and Through the Mountain is the story of Mia, a young girl who lives in the fairyland of Leece Ow. She is active, inquisitive, and whip-smart. You’d think living in a fairyland would be perfect for her, but no. Magical mysteries abound, but adults refuse to explain any of them. Soon, she’ll complete her rite of passage, a literal journey through a mountain, get her jewel, and be considered an adult. Maybe then she’ll get the answers she’s been looking for.

Things get crazy when she discovers an older passage and asks around about it. She has no idea what trouble that question will cause. Suddenly, she’s the center of the town’s attention, and not in a good way. But for Mia, that just fuels the fire of curiosity. Will she ever find her answers? Can the town afford for her not to find them? Why is everybody suddenly so mean to Mia?

I guess to find out you’ll have to read the book and find out.

I cannot tell you how excited I am about this. It is by far the best, most meaningful, thing I have ever written. And it is perfect to read to your daughters at night.

Go check it out on Amazon and let me know what you think.

A Box of Books

The mailman brought me a present last night. Now I have a big stack of the new StoryHacks and another of my new book on writing.

“What’s this?” You say. “You have a book on writing?”

You must have missed my rather haphazard and low-key release. In fact, I posted it on only one smallish facebook group. Then my buddy and StoryHack regular Jay Barnson saw that post and tweeted about it. Result? It shot up to number 3 on Amazon in its category for a bit!

Pulp Era Writing Tips is a collection of articles written for writing industry magazines taken from the 20s-50s. I’ve posted several of them here on the blog, and the book has 17 of them. Topics include editing, plotting, making more memorable characters, all sorts of useful stuff.

Does that sound like something you’d like to check out? Well, the ebook is currently only $0.99 on Amazon. Pulp Era Writing Tips

In other news…

A while back I wrote a middle-grade fantasy novel for my kids. I wasn’t exactly sure what to do with it, but last year on a whim, I decided to polish it up and submit it around. Long story short, it was picked up by Immortal Works, and it getting released NEXT WEEK. With everything that’s been going on, the release date kind of snuck up on me.

It is called Once Upon and Through the Mountain. I describe it as being Anne of Green Gables set in the Land of OZ.

I am extremely proud of how it turned out. So even though it is way outside my regular style and genres, it is worth checking out. Especially if you have daughters that need to be read to at night. Official release date is June 12th. More on this to come.

First paragraph

A while back I discovered that my great grandfather wrote several books. I don’t think any of them were ever published. I got a scan of the manuscripts from an aunt. I have not had time to read all the way through any of them yet, but get a load of this opening paragraph.

Pollard Nelson’s face was white with rage as he reached for his shotgun  which was hanging on the kitchen wall. His had quivered as he pulled it down from the wooden pegs. He laid it on the oilcloth-covered table, pushed a chair over by the cupboard, mounted the chair and reached for a box of shotgun shells. Grim determination distorted his face, and a consuming hatred smoldered in his deepset eyes. He released the lever, bent the gun over his knee, thrust two shells into the double barrels, snapped it shut, and started towards the door.

I don’t know how it turns out, but I do know good old Pollard is on his way to murder the guy that eloped with his daughter.

StoryHack Action & Adventure, Issue Two is now available!

Brace yourself for the next exciting issue of StoryHack Action & Adventure. Issue two is now available! Taking cues from the greatest pulp magazines of a bygone era, StoryHack publishes all-new stories of bravery and derring-do in a wide variety of genres. There is something in here for everyone, and each story includes art.

Here’s what you will find in this issue:

Predator/Prey Relationships by Julie Frost. When Ben’s ability to shift into a werewolf is stolen, he must play a most dangerous game to get it back.
The Temple of Baktaar by Jason Restrick. What deadly curses await when a pair of adventurers delve too deeply into an ancient, supposedly-abandoned temple?
The Gambler’s Tale by Jon Mollison. Mike has a plan to not just beat the house, but bring it crashing down entirely. The mob has other ideas.
Crystal, Brass, and Copper by Matthew X. Gomez. When a robbery goes horribly wrong, can Bahar get any part of her old life back?
Junior Partner by Brian K. Lowe. With his superhero captured by dangerous foes, a sidekick must decide what he is made of.
The Crawlers beneath Avaris by David J. West. With city guards and assassins hot on his tail, Brutanis is forced into an underground maze. What he finds there may be worse than the trouble he’s fleeing.
High Ground by John M. Olsen. Captain Alexander Kemp’s space station Icarus suffers an attack in orbit as the government on Earth below collapses. Can their advanced tools and mental grit keep them alive as they respond to a series of escalating attacks?
The Chronicle of the Gorgon’s Island by Keith West. A cursed prince and his right hand man are shipwrecked on an uncharted island with an unruly crew. Will the monster they find there kill them before they kill each other?
Kakerlacs by Alexandru Constantin. After a long stint with the Corps, Mike returns to his hometown in the California desert, only to get tangled up in a sinister plot involving cops and tweakers who are more than they seem.

ebook versions paperback

Issue 2 Update

I finished laying out all the important stuff (stories and story art) for issue 2 and sent it out to the authors to look over. So if you are an author in issue 2 and you did not get that email, please contact me. Now I’m filling the necessarily empty pages and partial pages. If you want to do some sort of barter for an ad (like a blog post or something) I may have a spot for you.

Stay tuned for more.

Bryce’s Microfiction, Vol. 1

I used to occasionally write a bit of microfiction/twitfic. I recently came across a text document where I had many of them recorded. This was before Twitter upped the character count, so the weird spacing was to jam everything in along with the tag. I hope you enjoy bad puns, because there’s a few of them in here.

Bob opened the washing machine to find the laundry goblins dancing around a burning sock. He closed the lid and went back to bed.

The building looked ready to collapse at any moment, but the firefighter heard a child screaming, so he rushed in anyway.

Greg walked from the psychiatrist’s office, feeling much less paranoid. Suddenly, he was mugged by a group of old ladies.

Zanthraxon the destroyer demon spent his time waiting to be summoned by knitting sweaters for his hellhound.

The urban sorceress downed the stolen elixer of ultimate power. It tasted suspiciously like chocolate milk.

“Just think, Jim. How many people have jumped that ravine on a skateboard?” Twenty seconds later, the answer was still zero.

Thor got pissed and hammered the stone wall around Valhalla into a pile of Ragna-rocks.

Even stripped of his superpowers, MegaTed was able to accidentally do millions in property damage.

“Just a spoonful of sugar helps the gasoline go down.” Sang the merry hoodlums.

Frosty was a jolly, happy soul. After all, he was made of cocaine. Or was that snow? Anyway, the kids loved him.

Billy wondered aloud when he would be able to feed his mogwai. “When does it stop being after midnight?”

Derek woke up naked in a bathtub full of ice. He resolved to never insult the urban legend faerie again.

Nobody wins at the Second Day Sushi Buffet. Nobody but the ER, that is. And the first day sushi places that have leftovers.

Big Mike returned, hungry for more. Unfortunately for him, this time the cheeses had organized.

Wayne looked longingly at the waitress, and desperately wished he could work up the courage to ask her… for extra syrup.

Larry entered the eating contest long before he found out it was being run by a cannibal tribe.

The internet served it’s purpose on Earth, but when Bob invented the outernet, finally the whole universe could waste time.

Big-D tried to run from the rival gang, but his large pants fell down around his ankles.

Republicans and Democrats took the time to debate rationally and honestly. Ha Ha, just kidding.

When faced with logic, Sen. Joe Liberal stuck his fingers in his ears and sang. “Ain’t no heathcare but Obama’s healthcare.”

Jill stabbed Dan again. Her two year hunt was over. She had finally exacted revenge on the all teenagers that had spit on her car.

“And to my daughter Amy,” Mom’s will continued, “I leave only a guilty feeling for not visiting me in my final weeks.”

Last year he had used noodles to simulate brains to gross out trick-or-treaters.This year he slaughtered a cow.

The urban-wizard-for-hire spent most of his time raining fire upon jerks who had cut off his clients on the freeway.

“If only my friends would stop texting me.”The urban witch was certain if she could focus she’d bring the chicken nuggets to life.

He wore his ceremonial wizard’s garb to Walmart: spandex shorts, a codpiece and a leather duster. Oddly enough, he fit right in.

The urban wizard focused his great magiks on the ball in his hand, then gave up.Spellcasting is way easier on the Wii, he thought.

The CIA agent forced the terrorist to take every facebook quiz he could find. Shockingly, he scored 95% on the Rainbow Brite test.

“And the Mike shall inherit the hearth,” The will read, “And to the Viktor goes the rotten food in the fridge.”

After stalking her for three years, it finally occurred to Tim. “Fran’s not that good looking, and she’s kind of weird.”

“I would give anything to have that physique.” Frank ate the pie, changed the channel and eased back the recliner. “Anything.”

As if school wasn’t bad enough, now the state wanted to test if she could read. She slouched. “Like people even do that anymore.”

After Fozzie Bear converted to earth magik, he started finishing all his jokes with “wicca, wicca.”

Sen. Joe Liberal flew on a high emission jet, ate at high-waste restaurants and rented a gas hog then spoke at a green convention.

“There’s no time like the present.”He thought, so he stood and informed the courtroom that the Judge’s parents were never married.

The hero leapt from the helicopter using a sunshade as a parachute,thus maxing out the disbelief suspenders of readers everywhere.

At the end of it all, Jill and Barry sat down, held hands, & watched the sunset while Steve stood, held his bloody nose & threw up.

Fed up with his antics, Dan’s mother locked him in her closet. He spit in every one of her shoes and on all her dresses.

The thugs found his lair by the smell.Yeah, when discussing Captain Fungus, everyone used the word “superhero” in finger quotes.

Carl scrambled out of bed, threw on a shirt and tie, scarfed some leftovers, mouthwashed and ran out the door. Without his pants.

Sen. Joe Liberal voted for a 1000 page bill he had never read nor discussed then smiled and considered it a good day’s work done.

Dave leaned in for the kiss and saw food stuck in her teeth.He tried to abort gracefully but ended up with spinach in his hair.

Senator Joe Liberal loved the poor so much he would give any one of them the shirt off Mike Workinghard’s back.

Eagle Eye Jack saw the bird pluck the tiny silvery fish from the water 100 yards away then steered the frigate into a cliff.

“I’m glad you like it.” He smiled. “Jill hated it when I used to call her kitten.”Thus began the fight that ended the relationship.

“Lots of folks have insect collections.” Bill told Daria. He then proceeded to place the cockroaches on her face, one by one.

Chuck pulled a copy of “The Very Best of Cher” from the shelf.He laughed at the fools that settled for only the “Best of Cher.”

“Some people do this for the attention.” He took off the toga and the pink wig, then lowered the bullhorn.”I do it for the chicks.”

Getting close

So I know this is the worst time of day and day of week to post this… but I’m getting close on Issue 2 of StoryHack. Payments have been sent, interior art is all in, cover is done, and I’m well over halfway done with my edits.

Here’s what the cover looks like. I hope I spelled everybody’s name right.

 

Want to write for Adventure?

Would you like to travel back in time and write for Adventure? Here’s what it took.

ADVENTURE, SPRING AND MACDOUGAL STS., NEW YORK CITY. Monthly. Arthus S. Hoffman, Editor. States that in its fiction clearness and simplicity are essential, for they are both a requisite of good literature and a surety that all who read will understand. Insists on convincingness, or truth to life and human nature. Characters must seem like real people, not mere names. The reader must believe it happened. Inconsistencies and improbabilities, even in little things, ruin a story. Wants stories of action and adventure, in its broadest sense among almost any kind of people, and in almost any place. Stories of the United States, its possessions and Canada are always welcomed, as well as tales of foreign lands. Uses stories of even the remote past, but only occasionally; also stories of the future, but even less often. Stories of the sea are especially desired. All stories must be clean and wholesome, but without preaching or moralizing. Does not like stories in which crime is glorified or triumphs in the end. Uses fact articles, but very few. Chances are better with material worked up into fiction form. Autobiographical material has almost no chance of acceptance. Always wants good humorous stories. Takes tales of pathos or tragedy, but not if they are morbid or leave the reader depressed or with a “bad taste in his mouth.” Love interest added to a story of adventure is good, but not if it is the main feature of the tale. Does NOT want : Problem stories, sex stories, psychological stories, sophisticated stories, stories that glorify crime, stories that “couldn’t happen” or supernatural stories. Uses some poetry, mostly 16 lines or under. None over 36 lines, unless they are narrative with a real story in them. Good quatrains desired. Takes short stories of any length. Serials from 60,000 to 120,000 words. Novels and novelettes, complete in one issue, 15,000 to 75,000.

-James Irving in How to Sell Manuscripts, 1920

The Problem with Fiction Magazines…

…in the early 1900’s. And perhaps today?

“This was about the way the problem looked to me as I analyzed it. Magazines were in danger of being driven from the field. They were emphatically off the key. They seemed to be made for an anemic constituency — not for the young, energetic, red-blooded men and women. Editors edited these magazines for themselves, not for the people. That is, they gave their readers what they (the editors) thought they ought to have. The were like architects who build a building for the outside rather than the inside — build it for their own glory, rather than to make it serviceable for the uses for which it is designed. These editors were not men of the world. They didn’t mingle with the world — didn’t get down to the people and mix with the people. They lived in an artificial literary world, where they saw everything through highly-colored spectacles. There was a woeful lack of up-to-date-ness about these magazines.— a woeful lack of human interest.”

-Frank Munsey, publisher of Argosy, the first American pulp magazine

Lest you think the literary vs popular debate is a new thing. Maybe there is a lot of room for quality, exciting fiction magazines right now.

And speaking of exciting fiction magazines, I hope StoryHack helps scratch that itch for you. Issue 0, Issue 1, with Issue 2 coming very soon.

Magazine update

I’ve read all the submissions from this round and have selected the stories that will go in Issues 2 & 3 of StoryHack. If you submitted, but haven’t heard from me, please send me a note. I’ll be pushing contracts out over the next few days, then I’ll dive in to editing. Things should move fast from here on out.

Just for fun, I sent out a short story to all those who have signed up for the newsletter. It’s a sword and sorcery piece I wrote wherein a traveling swordsman must make a choice among duty, lust, and possible supernatural justice. It’s called “The Merchant’s Curse” and its about 3,500 words long. So if that’s sounds like something you’d like, be sad that you aren’t on the newsletter, but just wait a week. I’ll throw it up on Amazon. Here is some art I almost used for the cover, but didn’t because reasons.