Molly Fletcher's Blog, page 11

How To Turn Missteps Into Stepping Stones

Whenever I deliver a keynote, I always like to tell a story or two about a mistake that I made. Why? Because as I reflect on the pivotal moments in my life—they often happened as the result of a mistake that I made.

Legendary basketball coach Dean Smith had a great saying: “What to do with a mistake: recognize it, admit it, learn from it, forget it.”

Failure is just feedback to learn from, change and improve. Without these mistakes, I wouldn’t understand the importance of accountability and resilience.

Freshman folly

As a freshman at Michigan State, I remember my first “real life” lesson… wrapped up in the form of a big, fat mistake. Like many college freshmen, independence was new to me, and I took full advantage of it. I found myself in a sorority, playing on the Michigan State Women’s tennis team, partying with new friends and going to classes (most of the time). For a time I was able to make it all work. But when I told my Mom how “fun” college was, she just responded with this sage advice, “Wow, sounds like you have it all. Can you have it all at once?” Little did she know I could handle it all. That is, until my fall term ended with a 1.8 GPA.

Wake-up call

What an embarrassing wake-up call (by the way don’t send this blog to my kids). I was one of only two girls who couldn’t be active in my sorority due to academics, and I barely kept my spot on the tennis team. My low grades scared me to death and I became fast friends with the library, my classes, professors and books. Looking back, it was one of the best things that happened to me. I was able to re-focus, prioritize, and shift into making the right choices to be the person I wanted to be.

Opportunity to fail

Most importantly, my mom gave me the opportunity to fail—and recover quickly. She didn’t jump in to rescue me like so many parents tend to do. It’s a mistake that leaders make too. Managers might not let an employee take the ball because they don’t think they are “ready.” Sometimes we learn great things when we take the ball a little early, fail and recover. Maybe we actually evolve more quickly this way than if our leader doesn’t give us a shot. My mom saw me fail and told me to fix it fast, which allowed me to learn how to re-group so I could succeed.

In my podcast conversation with Alison Levine she talks about how she often learns more from a failed attempt at summiting a mountain than a successful summit, and I love that perspective. To her it’s not just about the final achievement, but what lessons she learns along the way, and how those lessons help both her and other mountaineers. This couldn’t be more true in leadership and in life.

I am thankful to my parents and other leaders in my life who have allowed me to take the ball before I was ready, fail and learn from it so I was better for it.

Game Changer Takeaway

Some of the best leaders in the world have made some of the worst mistakes. The difference is they treated their missteps as stepping stones. They didn’t let failure defeat them; they let their fear of failure fuel them. Have the courage to make mistakes and the insight to let those mistakes make you a smarter, stronger and better leader every day.

The Molly Fletcher Company inspires leaders, teams and organizations to kick-start growth. M olly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A  keynote speaker  and  author , Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world. Her book,  Fearless At Work , is available, and sign up  here  to receive our monthly newsletter.

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Please Don’t Ask Someone to Mentor You

When it comes to lining up a mentor, here’s what you need to understand. And what you need to do to achieve meaningful growth in your career.

Do your homework. Get to know who they are before you ask. Find out as much as you can to see how your passion and purpose aligns with what the potential mentor has accomplished. You need to understand them not just as a name and title, but as a human being.

Understand relationships. If you think that a mentor is going to be a one-way pipeline to secret wisdom about your chosen field, think again. A strong bond with a mentor is not transactional, it’s relational. That’s why it is meaningful, and has a better chance to last over time, as the mentee becomes a mentor and you are peers helping one another.

Drill down on what you really want. Don’t ask for mentoring if you really want something else. Is it a job? Ask for advice. That’s an easy get. It’s not an ongoing commitment, and if you have authentic curiosity and openness, that could lay the groundwork for mentoring eventually.

Don’t miss what’s in front of you right now. I believe mentors are everywhere– from the people who you work for to the ones who work for you, a fitness instructor, a husband, your father or mother, a neighbor, even a clerk checking you out at the grocery store. To me it’s about little moments that happen daily. If we are open and curious, we can be mentored constantly.

I love my husband, but if he had asked me to marry him right when we met or before we had built a meaningful relationship, I would have run the other way – fast. A good mentor relationship is similar. It starts with a connection then expands with time.

Don’t ask; give instead. If you remember nothing else, remember this: The one thing that you and a mentor have in common is the same amount of time in a day or week. The mentor’s knowledge and experience means that their time is at even more of a premium.

Yes, mentors are generous, but they don’t exist only to mentor; their purpose is their priority, and they frame their time and relationships (including mentoring) around their purpose.

When a potential mentee understands my purpose and finds connection in authentic ways, that person is stepping into the role of mentee. They aren’t detracting to my mission; they show me that they already understand my core philosophy and want to support my “regularly scheduled programming.”

High achievers eliminate distractions from their work, and know that mentoring can rob them of time and bring undue pressure and expectations. A mentee should aim to gain access to the work being done and learn by observing or helping. Don’t ask. Be clear about your intentions and bring value to the relationship, and step into that role now.

Don’t ask. Just start by serving, connecting and you might just wake up with a mentor.

Your Game Changer Takeaway

Your most effective, efficient mentoring relationship is driven 100 percent by you. Your preparation, drive and nurturing. Don’t expect someone to lean in to be your mentor—you must lean in to get one. Don’t ask me to be your mentor; be that person right now.

The Molly Fletcher Company inspires leaders, teams and organizations to kick-start growth. M olly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A  keynote speaker  and  author , Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world. Her book,  Fearless At Work , is available, and sign up  here  to receive our monthly newsletter.

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Emerging Leaders Always Nail These ABCs of Success

Recently I addressed a group of emerging leaders at a major company, and the management rightfully expected an amazing return on investing in professional development for them. These emerging leaders were hand-picked for their potential—eager for the work, super curious about getting better, and so coachable. They were fearless, with a “you’ve never arrived” mentality.

It’s one thing to have potential and another to deliver on it. In my experience coaching young business leaders, and representing emerging pro athletes and coaches, I know this: Those who achieve career success always nail these ABCs.

A — Appreciate the process.

Exceptional leaders are never done learning. They understand on a cellular level that success takes time. That’s a very hard concept to get our heads around in our world of instant messaging and data analytics at our fingertips.

No matter how much talent you have, a leader isn’t made in weeks, months, or even years. Recognize that it’s a process. Even phenomenal athletes need to learn how to not chase the first pitch every time. Discipline and intention take time to develop.

When we appreciate this reality, we dig into the intense, intentional work of nurturing trust in relationships and becoming 360-degree aware. We see leadership as a marathon. If you see this as a sprint, you’re going to burn out.

As the least patient person that I know, I need this reminder to stay in the now and perform against my personal mission. For those who follow college football, this means being more Saban-like and embracing the process. When a leader is done learning, they’re done leading, so appreciate the growth along the way.

B — Build Your Team.

There’s some truth that in our youth, we can be a bit self-absorbed since we don’t have as many life and career experiences to shape our perspective. That mentality can make it impossible to look past your own lens. And success depends on the leader’s vision.

While a leader must always keep an eye on results (product) and process, high achieving leaders know that people are even more important. Your relationships with your team, your influence on them, your choices in hiring—these will determine the success of your product and collective process.

In sports and business, talent is only one piece of the puzzle of building a team. It’s usually overrated, too. Great teammates know how to enjoy someone else’s success. They have ferocious work ethic and focus, and the guts to hold others accountable. A sense of humor also marks a great teammate.

Remember too that building a team means building up its individual members. Great leaders pay attention and listen. Success as a leader is never about you. It’s about them coming together and producing far more than they ever could individually.

C — Consistency is everything.

Everyone knows of a hotshot who came out of the blocks fast and failed to sustain that energy. That happens when you think that your best is behind you, because you’re not learning and staying open. The mindset of consistency and discipline is incredibly important to get you from “emerging” to “great.”

I met an emerging leader the other day in an unexpected place: my front doorway. He’s a college student who has built a successful pressure washing business in our area.

Besides providing good service, this student shows up each summer with an increasingly professional look. When he knocked on my door, he now had a uniform and hat with his company logo.

At the end of his work, I greeted him at the door to pay him. We struck up a conversation about his business dreams and before I knew it, 45 minutes went by. He was curious, he’s built a bit of a team of young pressure washers, now he needs to keep going. He told me how his business was borne from necessity, to pay his way through college. He described how he devours podcasts, books and anything he can to feed his insatiable curiosity about what makes a successful leader.

His consistency had made his pressure washing business into a six-figure income with very little overhead. I believe that if he stays open and connected to learning and growing, he will launch from an emerging leader to a leader worth following. It will require building on his base of consistency.

Your Game Changer Takeaway

Emerging leaders become great leaders when they appreciate the process, build their team and become consistent in their curiosity and desire for growth. High potential doesn’t guarantee career success, but mastering these ABCs will help emerging leaders make the most of talent—theirs and their team’s.

M olly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A  keynote speaker  and  author , Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world. Her book,  Fearless At Work , is available, and sign up  here  to receive our monthly newsletter.

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The Art of Saying No Without Risking the Relationship

For many of us, saying no in an important relationship—or any relationship—is hard. How can you say no and remain open (and supportive) to the person or people you value in your life?

There’s an art to saying no and staying open. It’s a mindset that will truly empower the way you communicate. It’s a core habit for the most effective leaders. And it is essential for energy management.

Here’s what people do who practice the art of saying no and staying open.

A clearly defined purpose helps them say no and mean it. When you are clear on what you want, and how it aligns with your personal mission, saying no ultimately means saying yes to other possibilities. Performing against a purpose encourages you to decide the best use of your time, talent and resources. It forms a boundary that shows you clearly that you can’t do it all and shouldn’t. When you are clear on purpose, you can say no without guilt and mean it.
They recognize boundaries are part of healthy relationships. When we are afraid to ever say “no” in a relationship with someone we care about, that’s a red flag. Dr. Henry Cloud, author of Boundaries, defines a boundary as a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. Relationships falter, he told me on a recent podcast episode, when we reach over the fence and begin taking responsibility for other people’s behaviors, moods, etc. Boundaries aren’t destructive to relationships; they are essential to maintaining healthy relationships.
They counteroffer. It’s being able to say, “No, I can’t do this, but here’s another person you might ask who is even better at that than I am.” Or “No, but here’s a resource that will help you get that done.” When you add a comma after a no, instead of a period, it keeps the conversation open. When the solution you provide is even better, your “no” may even end up serving them better in the end. When it comes to the art of saying no and staying open, use your creativity to make a counteroffer. It makes “no” a whole lot less uncomfortable.
They inspire others to reject perfectionism. Saying yes to everything is a myth of being perfect that many of us—consciously or not—buy into. We say yes on autopilot out of a misguided sense of responsibility (we have to do it all) or fear (if we don’t do it, who will?) When we say no, we show others how to reject the myth of doing it all. You can learn more about this from speaker and author Tiffany Dufu, who wrote “Drop the Ball” and shared this powerful message with me on a recent podcast. As Chief Leadership Officer of Levo and part of Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In launch team, Tiffany says that saying no allows us to achieve more by doing less and achieve better work-life integration. I can’t agree more!

Your Game Changer Takeaway

The art of saying no and staying open means being clear on your purpose and what you can offer to others when possible. By reserving yes for the requests that are most aligned with your purpose, you can counteroffer with respect and openness to the needs of others. When you no longer fear saying no, you can tap your creativity to respond with alternatives. The more that you practice the art of saying no and staying open, the more you will move away from toxic perfectionism and model saying yes to what’s most important.

 

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A keynote speaker and author, Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world. Her new book, Fearless At Work, is now available for pre-order. Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter.

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6 Habits of Great Negotiators

“Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.” – John F. Kennedy

If you are reading this, you probably want to get better at negotiating, or you know someone who does. You’ve got lots of company! Asking for what you want and need causes anxiety for many of us.

The good news is that great negotiators aren’t born. They’re made. You can apply their habits to become more comfortable with making the ask, and negotiating successfully. Negotiation can even be fun.

Determine what you want. This fundamental step is easy to skip. You must have in your mind what a successful outcome will be. What you want is not the same as what you might get only if the stars align perfectly or what you’ll settle for. The more specific and real you can get about what you want, the more likely it is that you will achieve it.
Trade your fear for curiosity. Great negotiators probe what is possible. Where other people see obstacles, they see opportunity. They do their homework to find out as many data points, facts and factors around their deal. They are too busy with the work of empathy—knowing everything they can about the hearts and heads of the other side. By prioritizing the gathering of all this new information, they have less brain space for worrying about doing less than their best.
Ask with confidence. One of the greatest things that parents and teachers can do is to show our kids how to speak up and ask confidently for what they need and want. No matter what your age, asking with confidence shows that you don’t mind taking a risk to achieve your goal. A confident ask suffocates fear, which is why fearlessness is the great negotiator’s bread and butter.
Embrace the pause. Silence doesn’t need to be filled! Often there is a pause in negotiations, and with it comes the temptation to keep talking. Great negotiators practice tactical silence and resist the urge to fill the blank spaces.
Give to get. A negotiation is a conversation, an exercise in creativity in which both sides are forming a new way forward together. I truly believe that negotiating doesn’t have to be zero-sum, I win you lose scenario. You need to be thinking of what you can offer to give in order to get to a conclusion that everyone can live with. Great negotiators make it a habit to give to get.
Walk away if needed, especially if you’re stuck. Inevitably, there are times when we find ourselves unable to close the gap inside of a negotiation—where the conversation has stalled and no progress is being made. We have to be perfectly comfortable exiting the conversation as a way to jumpstart negotiations. Yes, it can be a bit jarring to the other person and certainly isn’t my first choice, but it can unlock gridlock. Done calmly and with respect, walking away can actually be an effective tactic to move a negotiation forward.

Your Game Changer Takeaway

Like the best athletes and coaches, great negotiators use consistent practice to stay sharp—especially mentally. Rehearsing reinforces in their minds what works for them. Do you have other habits that help you achieve negotiating success? I would love to hear from you!

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A  keynote speaker  and  author , Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world. Her new book,  Fearless At Work , is now available. Sign up  here  to receive our monthly newsletter and subscribe to the  Game Changers with Molly Fletcher  podcast on iTunes.

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Are you Managing Your Energy Effectively?

Time management is so important for effectively pursuing your purpose, but energy management is even more critical.

Remember that time you followed a schedule crammed with tasks and activities directly related to your purpose, but the effort didn’t seem to get you much closer to your goal?

That’s because when you don’t manage your energy, you fall short of getting the most out of your time.

Too often we assume, for instance, that spending an hour on an important task is going to produce measurable results. But it’s not the hour that matters; it’s harnessing your energy, regardless of the clock. When your work involves people and things that suck your energy, you need to give yourself more time to regroup. Or you risk burnout.

Energy sources are different for each of us. High achievers seem to tap into a relentless flow of energy, and their purpose rises from this precious resource. I believe this energy can be found when you dig down deep to discover who you are emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and relationally when you are your best self.

When you value the energy that is intrinsic to only you, your energy dictates how to use your time. It may be that you do your creative problem solving at the time of day when you are most mentally fresh. You might give yourself a quiet time of relaxation before you meet with that difficult client.

When you begin to see your time as serving the ebb and flow of your energy, you can make better choices of how to spend both.

Here’s how.

Performing an Energy Audit

When your home or office’s heating and cooling system isn’t working efficiently, it’s time for an energy audit. The same principle applies to people who seek greater productivity.

You might think of heat as the energy you need to get things done, and cooling as the energy replacement time (down time) needed in between those bursts. Both are super important, especially to avoid burning out. You have to have the guts to ditch the things that don’t bring meaning to your life.

By pinpointing where you lose energy, you can begin to put your energy to better use.

What percentage of your time is spent in activities that energize you? What are those activities? Make a list. Who are the people, events and tasks that you look forward to the most?
What percentage of your time is spent in activities that suck energy out of you? What are those activities? Make a list. These can be people, tasks, meetings and other recurrent obligations. These are where you are leaving the lights on too long.
What are steps you can take to adjust your energy spending to make it more efficient? Brainstorm without judgment. What would you would remove from your schedule—and what you would expand—if there were no barriers to maximizing your energy?
Identify the realistic steps from Question 3. Choose one or two to implement for a set period of time (1 week or 1 month, for example). Make and fiercely protect your scheduled time related to people, tasks and events that boost your energy. Conversely, limit and enforce the time related to the things that suck energy out of you.
At the end of your experiment in Question 4, reflect on your results. Where are you still leaving the lights on too long? Where are you missing chances to boost your energy? Adjust your schedule as necessary, and keep fine tuning.

Your Game Changer Takeaway 

When you develop an awareness of habits that affect your energy, you can begin to strategize ways to manage your energy even better. An energy audit as described above will help you develop and practice being intentional. High achievers know that you must prepare well to deal with people, places and things that drain your energy. Most of all, recognize that you control your energy—how you spend it, where it goes and how you can allocate it better. Awareness of energy will change how you manage your time, and change it for the better.

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A  keynote speaker  and  author , Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world. Her new book,  Fearless At Work , is now available. Sign up  here  to receive our monthly newsletter and subscribe to the  Game Changers with Molly Fletcher  podcast on iTunes.

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Need to Fire a Client? Try This

When the client’s name popped up on my ringing phone, so did the dread inside me. Normally I love all my clients, but every once in a while one simply wore me out with their needs and issues. “Oh no,” I thought. This one exhausted me, and I knew I had to do something about it.

Today I am thankful for experiences like these, because I learned how to use compassion and honesty to fire a client. These three questions helped me gain clarity apart from my personal feelings and set up an optimal outcome for these types of difficult conversations.

These are especially important for young managers who aspire to greater authority. Prepare because you face the likelihood of having to fire a client. The following three questions will help you frame that decision and your strategy.

1. Is this person better than their problems? 

No matter what line of business you are in, people hire you because you solve a problem. Athletes hired me as a sports agent to maximize their income and platform, and to stand beside them through a very unique window of time in their lives.

To do my job, I needed my clients to be better than their problems. The truth is, I needed to like them, understand them, and know I could add value in order for the relationship to work. Those things make the potential “problems” worthwhile. You’ve probably been there before with a client—anything from late night phone calls to constant requests to neediness and big egos. If I knew we were aligned everywhere else, I could get past these (at times) challenges.

But when I determined that a client was not better than their problems, it was time to let go. Probably past time, actually.

2. What’s at risk for firing this client aka letting this relationship go?

Firing a client can seem like such a relief because it means you can say yes to other opportunities. Before you close the door, block off time to assess all the consequences, especially apart from the financial implications.

Reflect on the relationship and how it has evolved over time. Are there other clients or stakeholders who will be affected by letting this person go? How can that be managed?

3. Who could help them better?

Firing a client isn’t the end for them and their problems, and you never know if your paths may cross again. This is where compassion and tact especially come in to preserve the relationship instead of burning bridges.

Here’s an example of a soft landing. With one client whose calls I dreaded, I scheduled a lunch and talked about the future. It was clear that this person had bigger expectations than what I thought the market would deliver, and thus I wouldn’t be able to make them happen.

“I think you think there is someone that can do this better?” I asked. “And if you believe that, go for it.” I wanted them to feel “safe” going another direction. To feel like it was their idea even. “We can stay connected and I will support you along the way in any way possible, but right now maybe a change of direction is best for you.”

When an alternative is presented like this, the client sees the end of the relationship as their idea. That’s a lot better for their ego, and that means you are a lot more likely to part ways without hard feelings or collateral damage.

Your Game Changer Takeaway

So start with this, what client makes you cringe when they call you, and why?

No one ever said firing a client is easy. This tough decision can be exactly the right one, too. Simplify it by first using these questions to become clear on your why and how. You will have a better chance of a positive outcome and a win-win.

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A keynote speaker and author, Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world. Her new book, Fearless At Work, is now available. Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter and subscribe to the Game Changers with Molly Fletcher podcast on iTunes.

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How To Make A Side Hustle Work

If your employee has a side hustle—something they do away from work that makes money—a leader can worry. Is that team member really committed to the work and paycheck? Does that mean they have one foot out the door?

The struggle is real because more people are working multiple jobs. Federal data shows a 5 percent annual growth rate—7.5 million Americans in 2016 worked more than one job. Couple this with millennials who demand a sense of purpose from their work, and retaining good people is getting harder.

That’s why leaders shouldn’t ignore the side hustle. Learn from what your people choose to do on their own time, to better understand who they are and what motivates them. Team members, make sure the side hustle creates energy and momentum that feeds your day job.

For both leaders and employees, there’s a right way to handle the side hustle. Here’s what my experience can teach you.

“Hidden” talent is revealed and rewarded by the side hustle. When I moved to Atlanta with my very modest life savings after college, I negotiated a side gig with my apartment complex. I taught tennis every Tuesday night in return for free rent. My career focus was getting my career in sports off the ground, and this side hustle took a bunch of financial pressure off me. Even when that career took off, I still taught tennis because I loved it.

Tip for employees: Your side hustle should give you more energy than it takes from you. If you’re not excited about doing it, find a side hustle that will get your juices going.
Tip for leaders: Anyone who works a side hustle has to have passion, drive and resourcefulness to solve a problem and get paid for it. How can those attributes help inspire and motivate your team? Can you position this person as a peer leader, to tackle a problem that requires a similar skill set? Asking these questions are important because ….

Curiosity about the side hustle can help your entire team.  As my career as a sports agent took off, I became a target for younger people asking me over and over how they could break into this business or other super-competitive jobs. This consistent interest compelled me to write my first book, The 5 Best Tools to Find Your Dream Career.

At that point, I had no idea that this side hustle would eventually lead to my work as a corporate speaker and author. I did know that I owed my job to the owner of the agency, and I didn’t want to jeopardize that relationship. I went to him and laid out my plan for writing my book on my own time. With great generosity, he took an interest in my project. Instead of suffocating my dream, he helped edit the book and make it better.

Tip for employees: Before you dive too far into your side hustle, consider the people who have a stake in your paycheck. Share your vision as much as possible. With their support, you will go further than you thought. If they aren’t supportive, you may have just saved yourself future headaches.
Tip for leaders: Curiosity and vision fuels the best leaders. These conversations about side hustles are often casual and best if you are wide open to what you do not know. When you can form a strong trust through generous listening and learning about a team member’s side hustle, you understand what makes them tick, which means …

Respecting the side hustle can retain a talented team member. Remember, a side hustle means different things to different people. Maybe they are trying to form a foundation to chase a bigger dream. Or maybe it’s just a creative outlet and a necessary income source. It could be a step toward greater work-life balance.

The side hustle is almost always personal, and that’s what makes it powerful. There’s usually a sense of pride attached to doing something more than the competition, to going that extra mile, to gain new skills and added income. The future is more open for that person and their next step may be in a new direction.

Tip for employees: Can you examine your side hustle to see what it’s doing for you that your day job isn’t? How can you get more of your best self and talent into your career? Have you considered every channel?
Tip for leaders: A leader who supports the side hustle (within reason, not to the detriment of your work product) is establishing a deeper bond. The side hustle is a chance to see this team member as a person with many facets, not just for the service or product that they were hired to provide.

Let’s face it, life is not a sentence with a period at the end; it’s a bunch of commas, as Suzy Welch told me during a conversation recently. As a leader, give your team the opportunity to create their own commas—that’s what the side hustle is often about. Otherwise they will create the period, and move on to work that is more meaningful.

Your Game Changer Takeaway

Everyone has something they love that isn’t part of their career. Smart, strong leaders support that flame. Don’t pay them to build their other business, of course. Know that if you try to suffocate it, you will lose a talented person and the best that person can bring to your team. Leaders, don’t ignore the side hustle—see what you can learn from it.

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A keynote speaker and author, Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world. Her new book, Fearless At Work, is now available. Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter and subscribe to the Game Changers with Molly Fletcher podcast on iTunes.

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You’re Not as Good a Leader as You Think You Are

One of the biggest leadership challenges is ego. Do you surround yourself with people who let you slide or hold you accountable? Tiger Woods can tell you how that works out. As his amazing talent dominated professional golf, nobody ever seemed to ask Tiger where he was or what he was doing.

Everyone needs accountability, especially the gifted leaders who think they don’t. Leaders need a healthy ego. Recently I dove into the book, “Ego is the Enemy,” by Ryan Holiday and got a ton of insight into the problem and solutions.

“Early in our careers, ego impedes learning and the cultivation of talent. With success, it can blind us to our faults and sow future problems. In failure, it magnifies each blow and makes recovery more difficult,” Holidays writes. “At every stage, ego holds us back.”

So how do you reverse that, and do the things you really need to do as a great leader with humility? Here are 13 basic rules to follow for a healthy leadership ego.

Your reflection in our media-saturated culture is not real . Social media, reality TV, and other self-promotions make us think we are more important than we are. People who are truly successful are “less invested in the story they tell about their own specialness,” Holiday writes. “They are liberated to accomplish the world-changing work they’ve set out to achieve.”
Success in one area doesn’t guarantee you will dominate another. The more success you have, the more you think you can do everything else well. The more competitive the industry (sports and politics come to mind), the more you see the false assumption that successful leadership translates across fields. Great leaders pause, assess, and seek wise counsel so they can ensure they have clarity and humility for the new road.
Don’t rest on your laurels. You think you’ve made it? That’s a problem. The best leaders never think this. They stay curious, always looking for growth and new possibilities for themselves and their team.
Learn from others. From literature to philosophy to history, countless talented people reached the highest levels of power and success by conquering their own egos. The “Ego” book mentions Bill Belichick, Katharine Graham, George Marshall, Jackie Robinson, and Eleanor Roosevelt.
Remind yourself of what’s beyond yourself. Here’s a list from Seth Godin.
Own your ownership. When your team falls short, ask: what didn’t you do to prepare them?
Value pushback. As a leader, I want my people to tell me how they feel and know that I will really listen. One team member attends my keynotes periodically and provides feedback that cuts through the positives to pinpoint little areas for improvement. It’s easy to get comfortable with the feedback you want to hear; make sure you have people who give you the feedback you need to hear. That’s how you get better. Find people like this and keep them near.

In Fearless At Work, I describe how to build new habits of leadership by trading old ways of thinking and behaving for new ones. These small shifts, over time, create a big impact for leaders who want to achieve a healthy ego.

A fearless leader trades defensiveness for curiosity .
A fearless leader trades insecurity for authenticity.
A fearless leader trades status for legacy .
A fearless leader trades entitlement for humility .
A fearless leader trades excuses for accountability .
A fearless leader trades perfection for productivity .

Your Game Changer Takeaway

Becoming a vital, compassionate leader involves checking your ego. Good leaders think they are all that. Great leaders have the awareness of their true value, and achieve greater results because their ego doesn’t rule them. Use these rules to establish a healthy leadership ego.

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A keynote speaker and author, Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world. Her new book, Fearless At Work, is now available. Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter and subscribe to the Game Changers with Molly Fletcher podcast on iTunes.

The post You’re Not as Good a Leader as You Think You Are appeared first on Molly Fletcher.

Are You Building Relationships or Doing Transactions?

In business, you’re losing ground if you are simply executing transactions and not cultivating relationships. You have to be about more than the sale, service or product. You have to be about the relationships that will determine your success.

So what’s the difference between being transactional and being relational? Here are the behaviors associated with each, and my best tips to help you stay aware of being as relational as possible in your daily work.

You are Transactional When You….

Discuss and care about only the business at hand.
Stay so focused on finalizing the sale or deal that you forget the person on the other side of it.
Fail to be 360 degrees aware of the potential in the relationship. This means knowing the goals, needs, gaps, values and fears of your clients and colleagues.

You are Relational When You….

Briefly (it only takes a minute!) ask the person you are are working with about themselves. This helps you stay conscious of the person at the other side of this deal.
Don’t rush.
Understand the value that this transaction holds for the business beyond the signatures, service, goods and money that are exchanged.

To help you become more relational, follow my most valued steps to connecting with clients that are listed here. With practice, they will have a powerful impact on your relationships, just as they’ve had on mine. Each question will help you focus your approach to the people behind the transactions.

Today You Can Become More Relational by…

Being respectful. What do you respect about the person you are meeting with? What is your common ground?
Being authentic. What are your most important values that can influence this relationship in a natural way, especially in the face of adversity?
Knowing yourself. Why do you want this relationship?
Being a giver, not a receiver. What are some things you have that will benefit this person – perhaps ideas, or connections with others?
Drawing out the other person. Does this person have “hot buttons” – certain issues that he or she is passionate about and you can tap into?
Inspiring them in a real way. If appropriate, what can you uniquely and personally share to make this encounter genuine and memorable?
Connecting with humor. What makes this person laugh? What does that reveal about him or her?
Identifying key moments for them. Is there an upcoming work anniversary, professional honor, or career change that needs to be recognized?
Executing with urgency . Will you show this important person in a timely manner that you deliver what you promise?
Delivering with consistency. Over time, do your ongoing actions show that you value their business and you always will follow up?

Your Game Changer Takeaway

Great business relationships aren’t built overnight. Paying attention to the person and not just the deal is not that hard to master, as long as you keep it top of mind daily. When we become more relational than transactional, we tap the potential for so much more than the deal at hand. It’s an investment that will pay off again and again, well into the future. Pick a couple of the tips from this blog to begin strengthening your business relationships today.

Molly Fletcher helps inspire and equip game changers to dream, live and grow fearlessly. A keynote speaker and author, Molly draws on her decades of experiences working with elite athletes and coaches as a sports agent, and applies them to the business world. Her new book, Fearless At Work, is now available. Sign up here to receive our monthly newsletter and subscribe to the Game Changers with Molly Fletcher podcast on iTunes.

The post Are You Building Relationships or Doing Transactions? appeared first on Molly Fletcher.