Lee Ellis's Blog, page 50

Thank you Maj. General Steve Schaick!

Thank you Maj. General Steve Schaick, USAF (Ret), 19th United States Air Force Chief of Chaplains and 1st United States Space Force Chief of Chaplains, for your kind words and generous mention of ���Captured by Love���!

Order your copy anywhere that books are sold.

#Romance #Lovestory #Military #marriagegoals #Resilience #POW50th #VietnamPOW #Courage #Passion #CapturedbyLOve #LoveLessons

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Coaching Blog – How to Win the Battle of Clear Communication

Wow, this summer has flown by, hasn���t it? But you know the saying, ���Time flies when you are having fun.��� In the POW camps, we modified this to say ���Fun flies when you���re doing time��� as a humorous point to help morale.

Besides humor and trying to keep a positive attitude, the thing that kept us engaged in our mission to resist the enemy���s exploitation was communication. Our captors were determined to isolate us and prevent us from connecting with each other. There were always guards patrolling the hallways, opening the peep hole to check on us and make sure we were not trying to communicate with others.

My brief coaching clip this month goes deeper on this topic. Please watch, and then continue reading the blog below ���

 

Life-Threatening Risks to Communicate

Out of necessity, my POW brothers and I used all the following to communicate:

the Tap Codethe hand codetalking through a 14-inch brick wall using a blanket as a mufflerstolen pencils to write notes on our rough brown toilet paper and then slip them under our neighbors��� doors when the guards were not looking

We took these great risks because we knew that communication was essential to our survival and mission accomplishment. It was important because people were often kept in isolation, or they were just returning from a torture session where they had been broken. The most important thing was to reach out to them and let them know that they were important, and we cared about them.

The essence of our message to them was ���We���re proud of you and we���re not leaving to go home without you.���

Communication is a Leader���s Lifeline

Leaders in all situations are typically thinking about how to accomplish the mission, so it���s easy for them to communicate in a rational, objective, and precise way. But at the same time –

 

“Great leaders learn to communicate with their people by connecting with their hearts and letting them know they are cared about and valuable.” [Tweet This]

 

This soft, more emotional approach requires the leader to drop down from the upper, head level of logic and facts and adapt to a softer, more heart-connecting level.

Thankfully our normal communications today don���t take place in a communist prison; there is little risk, and we have many opportunities to connect openly with others. On the surface it sounds simple, yet it is still a challenge.

A Mission and People Mindset

Leaders must learn to reflect on how and when to share their messages with a focus on both the mission/results side and the people/relationship side.

It helps to stop and reflect on the following items:

What do I need to communicate ��� for both mission/results and people/relationships?To whom do I need to communicate?When do I communicate?How do I make sure that I know that people have heard���and understand���the message?

Communication is a key anchor to mission and life success, at work and at home. It���s the only way people can become aligned and integrated in their mission and their relationships. In my book Leading with Honor, I devote an entire chapter titled ���Overcommunicate the Message.��� Then my follow-up book, Engage with Honor, emphasizes communications in several chapters focused on clarifying, connecting, collaborating, and closing out with celebration or confrontation.

This theme has continued in my newest book, Captured by Love, where it���s very clear that communication was essential for good relationships and long-term marriages in these POW romance stories. So, back to the starting point. We must take time to reflect on our communications.

But there is one more challenge for all leaders, and it���s a big one for mission/results/task focused leaders.

Learn to listen. It is not just about one-way communications���talking or transmitting. You must listen. For most leaders, listening is not easy because it���s not a natural talent/attribute. And many leaders think that since they are the leader, everyone should listen to them; it���s like a one-way street; they don���t have to listen to others. But that���s a huge mistake. First of all, others know lots of things leaders don���t know and second, others may have a different background and different perspective that can be of enormous importance.

Listening also has another extremely important contribution to your leadership–it makes people feel important and valuable when you truly listen to their perspectives. This gives them more confidence and more energy to perform at a higher level.

The Bottom Line

Set aside time to pause and reflect on your communications. Use the four questions above as a starting point, and then consider how you can coach yourself to adapt and listen more. The payoff will be huge when you focus on these two leadership behaviors.

P.S. This has been an amazing year for Vietnam Veterans. It���s the 50th anniversary of the end of the War and the release of the POWs. There have been several reunions, and for me it���s been an opportunity to travel and speak, sharing war stories and leadership lessons from the POW camps. You can see many of these activities in the Media section at POWromance.com.

LE [Tweet this Article]

 

Amazon Bestseller! 20 Top Gun Romance Stories

Captured by Love��shares the real love stories of 20 Vietnam War POWs. Some had wives who started a movement that changed American foreign policy. Others came home and had to start over, while five single men met the loves of their lives.

Former POW Lee Ellis and love expert Greg Godek take you on a dramatic journey of faithfulness, passion, excitement, resilience, and practical love lessons from these couples.

New Amazon Bestseller in the Military Families and Survival Biographies & Memoirs

Order Your Copy on Amazon.comRead some sample stories

Have you read Captured by Love and want to encourage others to read it? Post an Amazon Review.

 

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Happy Labor Day!

Happy Labor Day from Lee Ellis and the Leading with Honor Team ��� we���re grateful for all of the hard-working leaders and teams who inspire us every day.

 

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Historical Highlight for September 3, 2023

Historical Highlight for September 3, 2023 ��� ���The White House Gala��� – here’s a short historical fact from the history of the Vietnam war and the POW experience shared in the new ‘Captured by Love’ book:

���All POWs from North Vietnam were released between the February 12 and the March 31, 1973. Our dreams had come true! We were finally back home and with our families. In April we received an invitation from President Richard Nixon and First Lady Pat to a welcome home celebration at the White House on May 24. Every returnee was invited and allowed to bring one guest. With more than 1,330 attendees, that event is still the largest dinner ever hosted by the White House!

���In the afternoon, the returned POWs attended a private presentation by the president held at the State Department auditorium. Each POW walked across the stage and shook hands with the president. During that same time, the wives and female guests were hosted at a tea by Mrs. Nixon in the White House. Some of the single guys like me (Lee) brought their moms, and many brought their new girlfriends. Several of those couples were married within weeks or months. As you read earlier in this book, one fellow proposed to the newly met ���love of his life��� in the Green Room at two in the morning.

���We gathered at the White House for tours and cocktails and then headed to the seating area under a tent on the South Lawn. VIPs sat at each table. The list included John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart, Sammy Davis, Jr., Martha Raye, Phyllis Diller, Roy Acuff, Joey Heatherton, and Les Brown and His Band of Renown. Each came on stage to perform or express their joy at our return. It was a wonderful evening and it closed out with Irving Berlin leading us in his famous song, ���God Bless America.������

Purchase your copy of ���Captured by Love��� at powromance.com.

(Pictured: Lee and his wife Mary are shown with former President Richard Nixon.)

#Romance #Lovestory #Military #marriagegoals #Resilience #POW50th #VietnamPOW #Courage #Passion #CapturedbyLOve #LoveLessons

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Captured by Love Wisdom for Today, September 1, 2023

Captured by Love Quote ��� ���Humor helped the POWs survive with their sanity intact. Humor can provide social attraction and strengthen a relationship. It helps friends and lovers survive and thrive.��� – Gene & Lynn Smith

 

#Romance #Lovestory #Military #marriagegoals #Resilience #POW50th #VietnamPOW #Courage #Passion #CapturedbyLOve #LoveLessons

 

 

 

 

 

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Leadership Traits for Parents

More great insight from friend and colleague, Mary Kelly, on what parents and guardians need to do as they send their children off to start another school year.

Check out her advice in her article “The Crucial Role of Leadership Traits for Parents When Sending Their Kids Back”, and and post your comments too ���

 

 

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Latest Book Recommendation from Lee���s Bookshelf ��� ���Love and Respect���

The Latest Book Recommendation from Lee���s Bookshelf ��� ���Love and Respect��� by Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs ��� I featured this book as an additional resource in my new book ���Captured by Love���, and honestly, most of the principles are applicable for all interpersonal relationships. There are over 10,000 ratings on Amazon for this book.

Throughout ���Captured by Love���, we have talked about the importance of learning to respect and celebrate differences. ���Love and Respect��� takes on that mission very specifically to show couples how they typically are different. His premise is that communication between a husband and wife is often frustrating because of the vastly different ways in which men and women perceive love. Women are wired to need unconditional love, while men need to feel unconditionally respected. But giving those freely is not natural to many people. In the book, Dr. Eggerich shares many stories of how these concepts play out (with failure and success) using examples from his counseling clients and in his own personal experience in his relationship with his wife Sarah.

Learn more about this book on the GoodReads website.

And if you���ve read this book, please post your review and comments below.

 

 

 

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What are the Ingredients of Resilience? See Enclosed

This simple graphic below is designed to show what it takes to build a strong resilience attitude. Check this out and then go deeper at the link displayed below –��

 

#courage #leadership #accountability #employeeengagement #leadershipbehavior #teamdevelopment #buildingculture #keynotespeaker #reslience

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Historical Highlight for August 27, 2023

Historical Highlight for August 27, 2023 ��� ���The Release Process��� – here’s a short historical fact from the history of the Vietnam war and the POW experience shared in the new Captured by Love book:

���The massive Christmas bombing of 1972 brought a quick end to the war. On January 21, 1973, we assembled in the prison yards, where the Rabbit read the release protocol from the Peace Agreement. We would be released over the next 60 days, with the first group departing Hanoi on February 12, 1973.

���Air Force C-141s (which we dubbed the Hanoi Taxis) were there to take us directly to Clark Air Base, in the Philippines. Celebrations began the instant the airplane broke ground, and there were more cheers when the pilot announced: ���We are now feet wet!��� which meant we were over international waters. During that flight, we smoked cigars, hugged the nurses, and sat in the cockpit to see the skies. We were free at last.

���When we landed, to our amazement there was a huge crowd of military families and personnel cheering wildly as we stepped off the aircraft. We were bussed to the base hospital where we changed into hospital outfits and headed to the cafeteria. We ate steak and eggs (one friend ate two dozen eggs) and then heaps of ice cream. During the next 48 hours we called home, had a physical, got a haircut and a new uniform.

���In the months prior to our release, medical experts concluded that, due to expected psychological problems, we should be isolated for at least two weeks of treatment and observation. Thankfully, Secretary Laird directed a flexible approach; the decision would be based on the state of each POW. And because of his wonderful wisdom, we all climbed aboard those Hanoi Taxis and headed home in less than three days.

���The American public welcomed us with open arms and parades and an outpouring of support. It was like waves of love coming at us from all directions. It certainly helped us in our adjustment back to the real world. Sadly, this was not the case for many who fought in that war.���

Purchase your copy of ���Captured by Love��� at powromance.com.

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Captured by Love Wisdom for Today, August 25, 2023

“Love isn���t really love until you take action on it. Communicating your deepest feelings is absolutely essential for creating a lifelong, loving relationship. Choose your own methods for expressing your love: gifts or activities that touch his/her heart; a simple touch; poetry (yours or someone else���s); or just plain sitting and talking together.��� – Ralph & Bobbi Gaither

 

#Romance #Lovestory #Military #marriagegoals #Resilience #POW50th #VietnamPOW #Courage #Passion #CapturedbyLOve #LoveLessons

 

 

 

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