Zoe E. Whitten's Blog, page 89

System log: Ashley Braun (3rd day of operation)

System log: Ashley Braun (3rd day of operation)

Wake from sleep mode

Perform personality module scan…all modules running correctly

Move to mirror

Examine self in mirror…visual checksum incorrect

Head is too big

Unknown Lover has said this is acceptable…checksum value ignored

Attempt practice smiles

Smiles appear wrong: "too old" according to Unknown Lover

Consult reference photos from photo album for proper analysis

Move to dresser

Search mode: Photo album…Photo album located

Search Mode Theresa's smile …

Search halted … image of Unknown Lover with inconsistent visual checksum value found

Warning: Logic loop failure stack overflow in buffer EE09Xe0102036635 while accessing file SDSN0001.mp16

Query mode: Which of these people is the real unknown lover?

Warning: logic loop failure in buffer SQ00EEXb09021505 while running query mode

Please reprocess request with a different query

Buffer overrun: identical queries eliminated

Buffer overrun: identical queries eliminated

Buffer overrun: identical queries eliminated

Buffer overrun: identical queries eliminated

Buffer overrun: identical queries eliminated

Uknown Lover has returned from unknown profession

Query mode: What would be a proper greeting, based on current parameters?

Warning: logic loop failure in buffer H0LEEXe07062814 while running query mode.

Please reprocess request with a different query

Buffer overrun: identical queries eliminated

Buffer overrun: identical queries eliminated

Buffer overrun: identical queries eliminated

Unknown Lover initiates query mode: How long have you been looking at those?

Engaging grammar engine…query translated: "those"= "those photos"

Queuing answer…

Journal Entry: Peter Lupita (age 12)

Dr. Sumar says I should write this journal to talk about my new life. But, he threw away my first journal and said I have to be more positive.

Well, I've been living at this Youth Treatment Center for about a month now. If I can only find positive things to say, then I'm certainly glad I heal from bruises fast. And, I think that when the other boys pin me down and smash my face in, they do seem to be enjoying themselves. So at least someone is happy.

Scool is about the only good thing in my life because there's more adults around who do a better job of watching out for me. I'm still getting used to this public education thing, though. We…I was home-schooled, so this is my first year in school with other kids.

I think I'm getting the hang of it now, but the first three weeks, I got spanked a lot for biting other kids. They hit me first, so I thought it was fair. But, at least at the school, the bullies who hit me also take licks for starting the fights. So there is that.

And, I haven't been attacked as much by the normal bullies at school. That's because one of the bullies, Trevor (such a suck up name) said I had rabies and if I broke the skin during a fight, they had to have lots of shots. Which isn't true, but the reputation DOES keep the guys off my back. And that's a good thing.

But back at the treatment center…right, positive. It sure is nice for my house guardian to lecture me about being nicer. I'm sure one day, all of these lectures are going to make me into less of a target with the other boys. Like, I'll be able to form a lecture shield, or something.

Oh, here's something positive. I'm positive that Shawna is "hot to trot," because she's snuck into my room twice this week "just to hang out." But she's giving me "the look" and I think this might turn into something if I just smile and keep nodding in all the right places. That would be a very good thing. Highly positive, I should say. Bound to raise more than my spirits, I would think.

Hmmm…I suspect Dr. Sumar will throw this journal away too. Heh. In fact, I'm quite positive he will.

Interviews, trailers, and bribes…

Here's a few more short writerly things. First off, I got interviewed by Gayla, AKA: Scath, of Feral Intensity. She's hosting an ebook author month with interviews and giveaways from many indie ebook authors, and my interview is kicking off the rotating virtual tour.

I'm also participating in the giveaways, with print copies of Sandy Morrison and the Pack of Pussies and a dual novella, Wake Up with the Kimellians/Haunting Sins in my offering. So that's a sampler pack giving readers a taste of my work in fantasy, sci-fi, and horror.

In other writer news, I've set up a "Peter portal," where I intend to gather all the blog posts for Peter's book. This week, I'm going to release an excerpt amidst the psyche profiles and manual pages. There might even be a blog contest for a free print copy in the works. But as to the details of how the drawing will work, I don't know yet. But, when I do know, I'll be sure to announce it with the usual fanfare.

Now let's talk about the trailer for Peter the Wolf. At present, it has 51 views and 3 likes. Which is actually 2 more likes than I normally get, but the traffic is on par with my usual video releases. So, I believe I gotta be doing something wrong with the way I'm promoting my videos just as surely as I keep blowing my book promotions.

In the past few days, my requests for promotion ideas from y'all has yielded a number of great promos, but all of these remain contingent on other people spreading the word.

That isn't happening yet on any promo I've made. Peter's promo is heading the same direction already, so I'm either not getting my message out in front of the right people, or the trailer is really bad and no one so far is willing to say so. (If it sucks, please, say so so I can get to work on a new trailer pronto.)

In any case, I'm asking once more for y'all to speak up with your ideas and thoughts. Please, tell me how we can get this trailer out to more people. I have a whole month to make more impressions, and to help give y'all an incentive to help, I'm giving away print copies of Peter's book to people who give helpful ideas.

Note: they don't have to first lead to success before I'll grant you a free copy. I'm sending superfan Tara a copy for her plan to distribute flyers with QR codes. Anyone who scans the code with their smartphone or netbook/tablet will be taken to the YouTube trailer. It's a great plan, and whether it works or not, I'm giving Tara a copy of the book to say thanks to her for really thinking outside the box. (With the box in this case being the online world, where most of my marketing has been limited to.)

I need to get you people involved and excited with Peter's book, so please, tell me what you need to see to make that happen.

About book releases…

Okay, first, lets' talk about The Life and Death of a Sex Doll. It is currently available for order in print from the publisher direct, and it should be on Amazon's virtual shelves within the next 6-8 days. I really wish I could be more precise, but this project is not mine to steer, and for once, I'm just the writer doing promos instead of all that publishing and polishing.

The ebooks should also be out in a few days, I hope. Again, I have no control over this, and as you might expect, a polite email to my publisher will take a week or two to bubble up through the others in the work pile. So probably by the time my editor is ready to answer, the ebooks could already be on the market. For this reason, I'm adopting a wait and see approach.

Second, let's talk about Peter the Wolf. Wow, you folks have reacted to the promo. Every time I head to Facebook, someone sends me a PM or hits me up with a chat. A few of you sent emails or commented on the blogs here, and quite a lot of you have all asked the same question: Will Peter the Wolf be on Amazon or in the Kindle store?

Yes, Peter's book will be on Amazon.in print and Kindle formats. But this does not mean I will move all of my books back to their shelves. My reason for this is that I really need to focus peoples' attention on just a few books at a time. A lot of my stuff is experimental and doesn't appeal to mass market readers, but I do have some stories that stray a leetle closer to mainstream, and I think I could pick up a larger audience for those stories if there wasn't so much "brand clutter" around them.

For now, this means the only books at Amazon will be the Campaign trilogy, with The Life and Death of a Sex Doll, coming very soon from Belfire Press. In July, I'll add Peter the Wolf and see if the Kindle readers are willing to kick around my new story. I may add Sandy Morrison and the Pack of Pussies, but only after I've paid an artist to do a proper cover.

Oh, and by the way, my current Smashwords balance is 100.52, so I am very close to being able to afford an artist for a good cover. To those of you who went to Smashwords and helped me pay for Sandy's cover, allow me to say how very awesome you are….no, there are no words grand enough to convey this concept. But suffice it to say, you people rock. I just need to figure out how to recruit some new folks just like you, because if I could find 1,000 superfans like you, then yes, I'm sure I too could be a positive example of the long tail model.

Let's talk about the "new" books on Smashwords, which is to say, the old archive stories. I really didn't expect to sell any copies of these, which is why I released them with relatively minor fanfare. They've got generic covers, and they're old stories that many people read for free and obviously won't be coming back to buy the new edition. But, I have had sales on every new book. Not great sales. In some cases, just one or two copies sold. BUT, every sale counts now that I'm making $1.50-$2 per title. So for those of you buying from my archives, thank you. You also rock more than mere words can convey.

Getting back to Amazon, superfan Tara pointed out that my Lulu print titles are being listed by an affiliate vendor for insane prices (between $120-$135). I would hope that no one would pay those kinds of prices when they can go to Lulu and pick up the same book for $6.95-$11.95. Even when you add in shipping, that's still loads better than what this dude is charging you. And really, I kinda feel bad for him. I can't sell a print title for $6.95, so I seriously doubt he's going to make anything selling the same book for $135.55

And on that note, don't you folks worry too much about my crappy print sales on Lulu. I put out print just in case someone is adamantly opposed to ebooks, but I get way more traffic through my ebook store than I ever have through my print stores. And I mean anywhere. I've done GREAT on the Kindle store, but the print editions of my Campaign trilogy have always sold poorly.

But I'm not saying "You! Go and buy print!" I make virtually the same royalty whether you buy the book in print or e-ink. And if you're reading the book, I don't care what format you read it in. I'm just happy to have you checking out my work.

I DO have to report on print sales every once in a while, even if the reports are usually the same. If nothing else, they help put my continual ebook sales in perspective. Sure, I'm not selling a hundred copies of any title. But at least I'm making sales with ebooks. Really can't say the same about print.

A clarification about a past topic…

Today, it's time to step out of promo mode and ramble about writerly stuff. See, recently, Evelyn Lafont and I have been going on about the same topic, but with entirely different interpretations. Now that I've read her blog summary of our debate, I realize that there's something left unsaid that's causing a lot of misunderstanding.

Here, let me quote Evelyn first from her post here: (In case you want to read the rest. It's a good post, really.)

Zoe E.Whitten and I had a disagreement on Twitter last week over a post I wrote about what readers owe writers. Zoe and I talked, realized we weren't going to change each others' minds, and we moved on.

Okay, Evelyn's article was about this topic, but it's not what I've been talking about when I harass my readers. If Evelyn really thinks that what I'm doing is just begging for reviews for publicity, I've been an even bigger failure at communicating than I'd previously suspected. Evelyn's interpretation of the topic makes it sound like a financial exchange between whore and client. I gave you the big roll with the happy finish, so you pay me and I go away. We will not speak of this again unless you want to buy something else, or unless I want to sell you something else.

Some of you may think of our relationship the same way. You're the john, and once you've paid me for services rendered, I shouldn't expect anything else from you. Which makes no sense. You asked me to court you long-term, and you asked me to give you full access to myself before you would consider looking at even one of my books. I'm no coy tease either. I've given you everything, every part of me. You folks on my blog have actually gotten deeper inside me than any lover ever will. But once I've got you to buy a book, you turn into a cold lover, ready to kick me out and move on to the next whore writer without so much as a "It was good for me, yeas."

Writing has no one right path, and many writers are happy to take money from readers and let the relationship stop there. I'm not one of those writers, but I'm not one to point at others and whine, "You're doing it wrong!" I just choose to work differently. It's not that I want to be your best buddy and talk to you every day. I don't want to try and sell you everything I've ever written either. As an artist, all I want from you is whatever reaction I can earn from you.

This is where I'll lose a lot of you, because you'll instantly huff up and go "how dare you demand a review!" I never said that. You presumed that asking for a reaction meant "demanding a review." Many of you further assume that it has to be a good review. But I only want your reaction, not a whole essay. I want to get your bad reactions too, or else I'll never improve in my craft. When I learn to write better is when someone writes back and says, "That didn't work for me." And because I do want to learn to be better, I am forced to prod you over and over for a reaction, even if you become resentful and wander off.

To be clear, I have requested reviews from you if you read and finish a book. But that is a request, not a demand. If you don't feel like the giving a full review, I'd still prefer if you'd think about giving a reaction in a shorter form. Like what? Here's some examples you could use in messages to me, or as status updates on your favorite social site/IM client:

"I read this book. Not bad."

"I read this book. Not good."

"I finished this book, and I'm getting the next soon."

"I read this, and it was so dull I bleached my eyes to stay awake."

None of these will take you longer than a minute to write. If that much typing is really hard on you cause you have severe arthritis in both hands, then you can just go back to the store you got the book from and leave a rating. That's just clicking your mouse, and if you're on my blog reading this, we both know you can handle the task adequately.

No matter how you deliver a short reaction, it shouldn't require that much time. I'm not asking you to print up flyers for me and distribute them around town. I mention that because one of my fans proposed this as a plan, and she's volunteering to do the work if I'm willing to make up the flyers. (I made them and mailed them already, of course.) While I'm THRILLED by her enthusiasm, I would never ask her to do that much work, or any of you. Some of you might think I'm a ball busting bitch. I am, but there are definite limits on what I would request from you. I expect nothing. I don't feel you owe me anything. But if you enjoy my writing and would consider yourself even a casual fan, then I see no harm in asking, "Have I earned your support yet?"

I really don't understand why so many readers are so resentful about giving your opinions on books anyway. Looking at most of your online interactions, it's clear you have no trouble giving opinions on every other topic. But for books, most of you have zero passion. You don't live-tweet about books, but you will live tweet your reaction to scenes in TV shows. You'll argue all day and night over your favorite comic book characters, filibuster for your political platform, and proselytize about your religious faith. But asking for your opinion on a book makes most of you fidget like you're giving a book report to your teacher. And really, you're the one making a mountain out of a molehill.

Way too many of you think I'm stupid for asking for your opinion of my work. But I didn't get into this self-pubbing gig to make big bucks. I did it to connect with people and get their reactions to my artwork. If I'm only getting money from y'all, then sorry, but I am going to get vocal in reminding you "I'm still waiting for your opinion." If you think I'm greedy, then you're confused. Greed is when I only want your money and don't care what your opinion is. I'm the exact opposite of greedy. I don't give a damn about your wallet. It's your mind I want to pick, not your pocket.

Bar Blogging: Agent Orange

Yes! After a long, long time, I've come up with a new drink recipe, and I need to start with a warning: You only need ONE. This drink, when mixed my way, results in a recipe that's roughly 25% alcohol by volume per glass. I have had HALF a glass, and I can confirm, this has some kick. It is also tasty, but by the third sip, I really have a hard time noticing anything besides the kick, which is strange because I can't taste ANY alcohol.

The combination of ingredients is short: Bitter apertif, dark rum, tonic, lemon juice, and raspberry syrup.The bitter appertif is a bitter orange liquor with a reddish appearance. You can use Aperol or Campari Red, or even a generic brand. It has 11% alcohol by volume, so you could cut the booziness of this by substituting Campari Soda or Aperol Soda. In any case, this is what give the drink its sweet and bitter base, and the other ingriendts all play second fiddle in complementeray ways.

In a 14 oz glass, I added ice, 1 oz of apertif, 1 oz of dark rum, a few drops of lemon juice, and a small splash of raspberry syrup. The raspberry sweetness blends with the bitter apertif and the sour lemon, and the rum and tonic lends this a citrus flavor similar to an orange Popsicle.

I've only mixed this once, and I imagine I'll have to drink these REAL slow. I don't advise chugging this, that's for sure.

Thanks to Andrew Wolter for giving this drink recipe its name. You've been a secondary muse lately. =^)

Something short and personal…

This Sunday, I found a lump in my left breast. It is small, and, as I check myself frequently, it is very, very new. Now I am on hormones, (estrogen and progesterone) and sometimes small lumps develop during the growth process. So this might be okay and there's no harm in it being there. Still, I prefer to be on the safe side, because a lump this sudden could have also been a blood clot, and those are deadly. If they don't end up in your heart and cause a blockage (instant death), they end up in a lung and make you drown in foamy blood. (ditto, but actually worse than option A.)

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he prodded around my underarm and breast, but he's satisfied the lump is not a blood clot, and is not life threatening. He's set me up for an appointment to have a breast exam and chest X-ray, so we'll see how it goes. For now, I intend to treat it as a possible side effect of my growing chest, which is itself an interesting side effect of transitioning. Long after I think I'm "done" my body is till going through changes, and part of that growth is in my chest. Which is great, because clearly I can't coast through life on my spectacular ass.

But if I can be serious for a moment, ladies, men, reach up right now, and touch your chest. Rub yourself down firmly, and really get to know the shape of yourself. Maybe you don't have a lump now. But if you do a little self check now and then, you'll know what your chest should feel like, and you will know right way when you feel something that shouldn't be there.

Men, pleas,e take this seriously. You can get breast cancer too, even if you do have D cup moobs. Maybe it makes you feel weird to roll around your chest, but this really is important. I'm telling you, I check chest once a week, at least, and this lump came out of nowhere.

Ladies, men, check your chests. Do it now, and then do it frequently. If you do this, you increase the chances of early detection, and you make your treatment option much more diverse. So please, humor a crazy old lady, and touch yourself.

Now think of me naked. What are you wearing? Hehe. Okay, I'll shut up now.

The Life and Death of a Sex Doll is available!

Yayzor! My first book published for really real! ^_^ Head on over to the Belfire Press site, where you can order copies of my book in print or ebook formats. The book will soon be up on Amazon, in the Kindle store, in the Nook store, and in Smashwords under the Belfire Press imprint. (So don't go looking for it on my Smashwords bookshelf or you'll just confuse yourself.)

Expect to see more fun with Sensu-Doll training materials, and possibly a giveaway sometime in the next month. (Gotta wait till my giveaway copies arrive so I can sign them.) There's only 9 print editions sold at this point, so there are plenty of hard copies left of you prefer books to be inky and pulpy. But if you prefer didtial books, the ebook will save you quite a few dollars off the cover price. Either way is good for me.

Okay, now I just have to sort out how to find new people to annoy, so I'm not always annoying my regular readers. =^/

Teaser trailer

I was gonna embed the trailer, but for some reason, the embedded videos mess up and push into the links on the side bar. This makes me a sad Panda. But anyway, here is the link to check out a teaser trailer for Peter:

http://youtu.be/EGgYXb-JMhA

I love this song, and it screamed to me, "I am Peter's theme!"

Psyche Profile: Naomi Lupita

Prison location: (redacted)

Inmate #: (redacted)

Inmate intake profile overseen by: Michael Grant

Date of intake: (redacted)

Date of interview: (redacted)

Inmate has been at the facility for six days and has already fostered a sentiment of aggression among other inmates. When provoked, inmate displays high levels of aggression, and has already hospitalized five other inmates with severe bites. (in the most severe instance case, a bitten inmate lost two fingers on her right hand.) The inmate has shown a tendency to snap and snarl even after having been restrained and sedated heavily.

First session interview:

 

MG: Naomi, I'm–

NL: You're a quack.

MG: I'm Dr. Grant. My job is to evaluate you and determine if you should be placed in high security or isolation.

NL: (laughs) Okay.

MG: Do you understand why you're here?

NL: Of course.

MG: Why don't you tell me why you're here?

NL: No, you tell me.

MG: Your son turned you in after you allowed a client to murder his sister.

NL: If you say so.

MG: There was ample evidence at your trial. Are you trying to claim you're innocent?

NL: (laughs, louder) No, I'm no little lamb.

MG: So you admit your crime?

NL: What crime? I was just the camerawoman.

MG: (after long pause) Are you placing the blame on your husband?

NL: (Voice very hard) He was never my husband. I just fucked him for the roof over our head.

MG: You let him abuse your children.

NL: Of course.

MG: You don't care?

NL: Why should I?

MG: They're your children.

NL: They're bastard pups, the result of a rape when I was thirteen. My family said it was my fault. Said I was asking for it. So they disowned me. Lars found me, and…all he wanted was the kids, he said, but once I moved in, he made me…

MG: (After long delay) Why didn't you leave him?

NL: You're a very stupid man. This conversation is over.

All subsequent attempts to communicate have resulted in complete silence. Given the inmate's high aggression and complete lack of remorse for her crimes, it is advisable to keep inmate in high security with limited contact with other inmates. While the inmate is classified as a sexual predator, she is capable of exploding into violence if given any opportunity to attack.