Zoe E. Whitten's Blog, page 48

I now have my blog moved over to my new host with my sett...

I now have my blog moved over to my new host with my settings intact, it seems. There were some problems getting the domain name transferred to the new host,but there were problems on both sides of the transfer, including my domain being locked for no particular reason.

But everything seems to have come back online with good timing, because today marks the release of my fallen angel dark fantasy tale, Saving Gabriel. You can find it for $3.99 on Amazon, Kobo, and on my blog bookstore.

Here is the final blurb:

Gabriel is a fallen guardian angel who assigns himself to hard luck cases despite being banned from heaven. When his current ward, Rosalinda Fernandez, is targeted for a soul harvest by another fallen angel, Gabriel is tasked by the archangels to investigate the real purpose behind the plot. All he has to do is keep his ward safe without falling in love with her. There’s just one small problem: after years of watching Rosalinda grow into a proud young woman, Gabriel is already deeply in love. Even if he can expose the plot surrounding Rosalinda, will Gabriel’s growing relationship with her lead to damnation for both of them?

And here again is the fantastic cover by Elena Helfrecht, who has a lot of great creepy cover art available for horror and dark fantasy stories.

Of all the stories I plan to publish this year, Saving Gabriel is my most accessible work. So while I love all my stories and want folks to read my other stuff, if a first time reader were asking which book I’d recommend, I’d have to point to this one. It’s got great characters, a mystery to solve, and an alternate history of angels and demons and their eroding relationship with the human race.

I’ll close this post out with a request for my beta readers. I need to get word out on this book in the worst way. Honest reviews would help a lot, no matter where you put them. You might post something on your blog, on Goodreads, or on Amazon. You already helped get my book up to the top 20 for paranormal over on Wattpad, and I really appreciate that. If you enjoyed the story and would like to help it succeed, a short review from you could help convince a few more folks to pick up a copy. It would also earn my gratitude, which feels vaguely like warm fuzzy towels just taken from the dryer.

Of course, buying gift copies is better. You could maybe put them on small USB memory keys and then press them upon friends. Then you could really help by saying, “You…must read…this book! It…will…change…your life! (The dramatic pauses are important, and let your victims know that you’re serious, and they had better read this book, or else.)

Okay, I’ll shut up now.

Farewell 2012: A rambly look back…

2012 was not my year at all. It wasn’t all bad, of course, but it often seemed like the bad things stacked up in week-long ambushes, while the good things wandered alone, with several months between visits.

However, in a marked change from previous years, very few of my problems were personal issues related to other people. The biggest problem I had was with the temperature constantly changing from one extreme to another, with at least eight of the twelve months slamming me with mood swings. Even now, when we should see cold all the time, we’ve had days where I’ve gone outside without a jacket. When the weather invariably flips back to cold, I flop and drop from fatigue attacks. And after a few days of this in a row, mood swings. Whee, so much fun.

This year, my reading pace slowed down, but I blame my problem of picking books that hit me in all the wrong places. I read many to the end, and I’m not afraid to read stuff that triggers me. I just have to read it very, very slowly. As it is, I started John A. Lindqvist’s Little Star back in late November, and I’m still not to the middle of the book. My problems started early on with a violent scene between Lennart and his wife Laila, and after that, I had a lot of trouble wanting to read about Lennart at all. But I have stuck with the story, and it is a horrifying book, earning its label quite easily. I am all kinds of horrified, even if I’m also fascinated. Which is why I have to take chapters in small bursts with lots of time to calm down in between.

There was Gwen Cole’s fantastic Windswept on Wattpad. I loved everything about the story, right up until I hit the torture scenes. Then I had to read in stages. Read a few lines, start to pant, walk away, and try to think happy thoughts to make the shakes go away. And at the same time that I was reading this, I was also reading Scripped by K.V. Taylor, which features scenes of a guy being tied down to have pieces of skin flayed off of him. Yep, breathe deep, think happy thoughts, and try not to lose it. Now, I’m working on Gwen Cole’s Sunlight, and she just wrapped up five chapters of torture and interrogation. It’s a war book. This stuff is appropriate to the story. I get that, and I’m not faulting the story or the author for the attempts at authenticity. But dang it’s so hard for me to read.

Oh, and there’s Witch Way to Turn by Karen Bynum, a story that starts off with abusive foster parents, and the eldest of the two girls is almost raped by the foster mother’s alcoholic boyfriend, yet she sends her “little sister” (no relation between them other than sharing life in a hell hole) back to live with this abusive couple knowing the alcoholic boyfriend prefers younger victims. I’m still trying to process that decision before I can move on to the rest of the book. I’m not saying it’s unrealistic or shouldn’t be the way the story goes. Just, for me, I can’t deal with the story yet. I know, I’m weird like that.

And as you can see, my luck in picking books that trigger my old scars has been pretty high this year. If this keeps up, I might have to start rereading the Babysitters’ Club series just to find something I know for a fact is fluffy and safe. (>_>)

And these were stories I liked. There was a glut of stories I just couldn’t stand, or that I felt had been sold to me on a false or misleading blurb. I finished some of those too, but often wished I hadn’t. Just…bleh.

This was supposed to be the year that I got back into gaming “for realsies” and have for the most part been dismayed by what I’ve seen in games with stories. The games that gamers praised for having great stories mostly ended up disappointing me, and the writing and characters both came off as fake and flat.

There were exceptions, stories where the voice acting and action carried me along to finish a game, but even with the good games, I kind of wondered who the hell was writing this crap. The henchmen in the games say the stupidest things, and it’s always some kind of projection. Like a dude in Uncharted: Golden Abyss hiding behind a rock with an Uzi shouting, “Come out of hiding and fight like a real man!” Uh, you first, Juan. (Where the game took place, all of the bad guys were Juan, Jose, Pedro, and other obvious choices. During banter between fighters, I wondered where the Julio’s and Rafael’s were, or why they had no Marco’s or Alejandro’s.)

The funny thing is, the games I had the most fun with didn’t try to tell me a story at all. This is not to say they were easy games. I’ve not played Super Stardust Delta on anything lower than hardcore because now easy and normal modes mess me up for feeling too slow. I am still playing Project Diva f on Easy mode, but shit, that game is HARD on any level. I loved Sound Shapes, and you just saw me gush over Jetpack Joyride in a previous post, which I’ve now looped and gotten 5 badges for completing. I loved Lumines: Electronic Symphony, and despite my language troubles with it, I liked Unit 13. In fact, I have plans to buy it after it comes down in price to see if having the card will grant me the English language, as opposed to French, which I know even less of than Italian. Even if I end up playing it in Italian, there’s still no story for me to get confused about. There are just the mission instructions, allowing me to enjoy the shooter aspect without worrying too much over the whys for the action.

(On that tangent, fucking Bart Simpson went to France for two months and learned the language well enough to speak to locals. I’ve been in Italy eight years, and while I can follow a movie or TV show for the most part, there are still a bazillion words that confound me, and I have hands down the least helpful language interpreter ever. Google’s no help, because when I say, “Okay, so this means this,” hubby says, “No, that’s not right, it’s this. But in some dialects, it’s this, and when you use it in past tense it’s this, and…” E dieci minuti dopo, io ancora capisce niente. Cazzo! I know the words, but I don’t know enough grammar to understand how to talk to anyone. Vaffan culo. (Oh, yes, I know ALL the cuss words. Hubby repeats them even when sitting alone. I pick up dick and cunt references easily enough. Hell, I thought my name had been changed to Bella for a while, cause when I first got here, everyone kept calling me Bella Figa.))

So…to get back to the year in review, I wrote a few more novels, but I’ve also sat on projects that I planned to release earlier this year because they’re still not ready. I still don’t think they’re ready, and that’s made my muse pissy. I didn’t do myself any favors by pushing my muse for something “commercially viable,” because it once again resulted in her completely abandoning all projects to slip off for a long sulk during the summer. She even dragged my silent editor off, so I couldn’t even do revisions for several months. And unlike the prior year, when my quiet phase was depression, this year, I had nothing to provoke me into feeling down. I was truly empty, and I thought, “What better time is there to fill up with other peoples’ stuff?”

I took this emptiness in stride this year and went to read other stories that had been on my shelf anyway, and I’d only needed the muse to shut up so I could read them. She was off in mental Tahiti with her Mai Tais and sunsets, and I was back at home with beer or wine and a lot of books. So we both traveled a bit in our own ways.

She came back home gradually, working with me on a few story introductions before she hit upon two sources of inspiration, both occurring while we were supposed to be working on something else. Right after we finished A Boy and His Dawg, a story based on one sarcastic comment from me, I was ready for a few weeks off. But no, the muse saw that painting, and she said, “Hey, you could do a good fallen angel story.” I went, “Oh come on, we don’t have enough to work on?” And she said, “But it’s YA, and it’s commercially viable.” So, yeah, I wrote that book in three weeks, and yes, it’s exactly what she pitched. Good heroine, good hero, lots of muddied moral greys mixed in for good measure, and a mystery plot that I liked the more it played out. Most importantly, nothing too squicky for readers to get worked up over. It’s won over all of its beta readers, with many asking more often than not for more book, not less. They wanted more details in the things that were merely hinted at in the first book. I have successfully whet their appetite for more. This is a good thing. Maybe even something that could earn a bigger audience and pick up a few reviews.

This is why I’m approaching 2013 with a hopeful but wary attitude. Yes, I seem to have found something that really works for the betas, but now I have to get enough sales to make the top of the chart at Amazon, even if it’s just a one-time push like I’m trying to do at Wattpad with my beta reads. The idea isn’t to stay in the charts, because I don’t have the audience strength to sustain those numbers. I ain’t no John A. Lindqvist, and that’s just the plain truth of the matter. But, I do theoretically have enough readers for one particular book to cause a short bounce, a moment for the book to wave and say “Hallo!” It’s not much, but it might be a chance to reach new readers who I might not otherwise have a chance to pitch the story to. It is a good story, and I want to believe it can be a small hit for me if I can just get people to check out the first few chapters.

Still I’ve had other stories that I thought, “This is the one,” and it wasn’t. I’ve heard many times this year from folks in the know who think that the problem may be a saturation of the fiction market. I’m really not sure. There may be a saturation problem, but I don’t feel I’ve been able to make a big enough impression to reach beyond a certain sized group. To me, the problem isn’t that people can’t hear me through the “background noise,” but rather that I’m not able to reach them at all. You can’t “meh” what you don’t see, in other words.

While I ponder the issue of exposure and impressions, I still have plans to release a number of books, and I want to try and conclude two series so I can move on to other projects. Then once those series are done and I can sell them in complete zips, maybe more folks will give them a chance knowing they won’t be left hanging for a final book.

I can’t call 2012 a complete failure, because even if there were some slow sales months, there weren’t any no sales months. I got new reviews about once every two months, and I had a greatly successful beta run with Saving Gabriel. I’ve put down a few hundred thousand words this year, and only had one trunk novel come out of it. No month was a total failure. Every month had something positive going for it in the end. So if I can set aside my crappy health and bad luck in reading and gaming selections, I can almost see 2012 as a good year.

Bah, who am I kidding? I freaking hated 2012, and I can’t wait to see the tosser off. I want 2013 to be better, but the weather is still freaky, and I’m still freaky. Freak this year, man. Freak next year too, and freak all of this.

I’m freakin’ out of here. See you next freakin’ year.

Guest Post: Ema Thayer’s Next Big Thing Blog Hop

When I filled out my version of the Next Big Thing Meme, one of the two writer’s I selected contacted me to say she doesn’t have a blog yet, and what should she do? It makes sense that Ema doesn’t have a blog, as she’s still working on her first book. So I offered my place for her to post her answers, and without further introduction, I’ll let Ema handle the rest.

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1. What is the working title of your book?

Lambchop & Were

2. Where did the idea come from for the book?

I always was totally mesmerized with possibility of pairing people and supernatural beings in romantic ways and having werewolves,vampires, and faes completely integrated in reality. Charlaine Harris made unbelievable things with her Southern Vampire’s Mysteries. I actually listened those books in audiobook. It is little to say I was impressed. While I was on vacation in Sweden I started writing. The center of story goes around very heavy social issue considering use of children in prostitution. It was very hard subject and book definitely wouldn’t be YA. I was very careful to make it serious, but not overly disgusting and make it hard to read. I know that I did that well. It also contains humor, romance, and everyday human lives.

3. What is the genre of the book?

It belongs to urban fantasy and paranormal romance. It has werewolves, but is set in different normal settings. Like city, suburb, and so on. There is humor and romance. Some parts are described explicitly, and it is definitely adult. (There is no pornography in it.)

4. Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

That is something I often thought about while writing the story. As a huge fan of movies and a very visual person, I always imagined it with beautiful photography. About the main characters, I really think that I wouldn’t mind who is acting as long as it is one of those brilliant actors who are handsome in unconventional ways. Like for example Ben Foster, Adrian Brody, Tom Hiddleston and so on. They would be good in showing human side and also that abnormally strong and fast beastly side.

5. What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

A half-werewolf underground fighter commits an act of cruel vengeance in the name of the helpless, and after that he is on run forever. Is love possible in such conditions?

6. Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency/publisher?

It will be posted on Smashwords, which also means it will be available on some other places too: Kindle, B&N, and Sony Reader.

7. How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

It took me one year. It is a novel. I made it too long and right now I am in the process of trimming it. I can say that it is a very good experience.

8. What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

I really don’t know. When I tweet about it for marketing, sometimes I say it is like if Red Riding Hood and the Wolf fell in love. I say it as a joke, but honestly I can’t remember anything I would compare it to. It has elements like most of books of this genre; urban settings and supernatural beings, but my story is its own.

9. Who or what inspired you to write this book?

My inspiration with this book is my deep sense of empathy with people who suffer, especially children or animals, or very old persons. It irritates me very much how often abusers go unpunished. I was thinking how would it be if somebody was strong to be able to defend those who can’t defend themselves. So, I conjured up this whole story.

10. What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

Well, a great source of inspiration was also my time in Sweden, when I lived in a lovely suburb part with nice wooden houses, a forest and a lake. At night when the lamps are on in yards, it look very atmospheric. One part of story happens there, and another in a hot little Mexican town with a famous underground fighter who is a werewolf and has many admirers. That hot and cold combination was fun to write. Also, a story about a lovely woman and a brave hero is always enjoyable. They can both have brains. Ha,ha.

I’ve been tagged for this interview by Zoe Whitten. In the end, I want to thank you for choosing me for this. I liked it very much, and I want to suggest my twitter friend @SidneyBrehm, who is working on his novel as we speak. There is one more author that I would mention, @TerryTyler4 whose novel Dream On sounds very interesting.

The Next Big Thing Blog Hop…

I’ve been tagged to discuss my Next Big Thing. Katey Hawthorne, a fantasy and erotica writer whom I adore, has tagged me on her blog to answer this interview/survey meme thingie. But I’d already been asked a few weeks before by Jess Sturman, author of the YA thrillers Poker Face and Puppet Master. At the time, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to do this, but looking over the questions again, I decided that I should play along. For science.

It also helps that Katey is directly responsible for my next big thing, being that she posted a stunning image on her Tumblr blog and inspired me. So, even before I get this party started, I have to thank Katey for being a constant source of inspiration, and for poking me to talk about my stuff.

1. What is the working title of your book?

Saving Gabriel

2. Where did the idea come from for the book?

I’ve become interested in fallen angel stories as a reader, and I’ve got five books in my TBR pile with a couple finished with very different levels of satisfaction. But I didn’t feel inspired to write my own premise until Katey posted this 1847 painting by Alexandre Cabanel, Fallen Angel. I was mesmerized by the angel’s gaze, and then by the detail in his wings. Out of nowhere, my muse said, “You know, you could do a great fallen angel story.” Within two days, I was writing.

3. What is the genre of the book?

Definitely YA dark fantasy, though there is a romantic subplot.

4. Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

This is the question that made me balk when Jess proposed doing this, because I don’t think of my characters in real world terms. In my head, all my characters are either a comic book art style or they’re 3D characters with slightly exaggerated features. Kind of like a PIXAR film, if PIXAR had a division for making adult movies. (Adult meaning movies intended for adults and older teens, not porn adult.)

5. What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

A fallen guardian angel, Gabriel, is tasked by the council of archangels to uncover a sect of fallen who have attacked Gabriel’s current ward, Rosalinda Fernadez.

6. Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency/publisher?

It will be self-published on Amazon, Kobo, and through my blog’s bookstore.

7. How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

Three weeks. It’s a short novel, and this is about par for the course for me.

8. What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

That’s hard to say because I set out with intentions of making Rosalinda and Gabriel as unique and original as possible. But since Rosalinda lives with a single mom, and Gabriel is a fallen angel with a dark past, I’d say the closest comparable title is Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick. There are other similarities, but I can’t explain those without spoiling my story or Becca’s.

9. Who or what inspired you to write this book?

Credit for wanting to write it totally goes to Katey Hawthorne. She’s an awesome chica, and her Tumblr blog is a random flood of images and art and quotes, all of which get me thinking in some way. So yeah, it’s a regular stop for me in my daily surfing habits.

10. What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

I think there’s a number of things that readers will enjoy, like the fact that Rosalinda isn’t a skinny Minnie, isn’t white, and isn’t reliant on a man to save the day for her. She also has a great relationship with her mother, something I feel is lacking in a lot of mainstream YA. Rosalinda still feels the need to keep secrets sometimes, (for good reasons) but her mother, Maria isn’t just a placeholder, and she has an important role in the story as well.

Then there’s Gabriel, who isn’t your typical YA bad boy. He’s fallen from heaven on a technicality, and although he despises the council of archangels, instead of turning his back on everyone and becoming evil like the other fallen, he assigns himself wards and stays true to himself. So in this way, he’s kind of a good cop who got fired over a minor violation, and then became a private investigator to keep up the good fight. He’s also got a father figure, a fallen archangel named Muriel, and I think their relationship is every bit as interesting and vital to the story as Rosalinda and Maria’s relationship is.

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Now I have to tag a couple more authors to torment with this. XD So I choose Ema Thayer, whose first book, Lambchop & Were, I’m looking forward to reading, and AJ Meyers, who I recently hosted for a guest post on her second Mystics and Mayhem book, Something Wicked.

On James and Jane Bond…

I’ve been debating about bringing up this topic for the past few days because there’s a lot of white dudes pissed off about this for all the wrong reasons. I’m not pissed, but I am bothered by the level of excitement that some folks have for James Bond being played by Idris Elba, or for a “Jane Bond” reboot. I finally decided to broach the topic because someone wrote on Tumblr “If you didn’t complain about Abraham Lincoln being a vampire hunter, you can’t bitch about a black James Bond.”

Well, it just so happens that I DID complain about Abraham Lincoln being a vampire hunter. But that’s beside the point, which is, this is a strawman argument. “If you accept X, then you aren’t allowed to complain about Y.” Not true. I’m allowed to complain about whatever I want. That’s the beauty of freedom of speech, and while you can disagree and say I’m full of shit, you’re not entitled to tell me what I can’t think about something.

But let me explain to the folks who haven’t walked away already. First, James Bond is a tired piece of propaganda that has rarely reflected what it’s like to be a spy, and has only become worse with more sequels. I loved the early movies, but somewhere around Roger Moore’s run, I began noticing how tired this formula was. I still stuck with James through Timothy Dalton’s disasters, and I gave up on Pierce Brosnan even though I adore him as an actor. And Daniel Craig…I watched a few scenes while at the store to pick up new movies, and I think he’s pathetic. I’m tempted to break into an imitation of Will Ferrell as Mugatu: “THE MAN’S ONLY GOT ONE LOOK! DOES NOBODY SEE THIS? I FEEL LIKE I’M TAKING CRAZY PILLS HERE!” So no, I don’t see Daniel as James at all, but as a super hero beating people up while claiming to be James Bond. He’s no more a spy than I am, but rather a convenient excuse to have an action movie about a white dude blowing shit up.

So it’s all but impossible for me to support the idea of a Bond reboot with a black man playing the same oversexualized woman-hating misogynist, and running through the same tired formula. James doesn’t do any spy work. He shows up to the bad guy’s private party, is recognized instantly, and the bad guy can’t wait to monologue his plans. Then James kills everybody and the base blows up. This is utterly stupid, and doesn’t reflect what real world spies do. How will this be improved by having Idris play the role? It can’t.

To my mind, it’s even worse to suggest a Jane Bond, because how are you going to address the character’s sexual side without charges that Jane Bond is a total slut? We live in a world where guys can still sleep around, and that’s cool, but women need to be less sexual or they’re denigrated and reduced to cheap names. A Jane Bond movie would be panned by male critics for the same behavior that they ignore from James

More importantly, how sad is it that people in minority groups have so little original material to celebrate that they wish the white male heroes could be played by one of their group? Could we not make a new spy movie for Idris where he’s an MI6 agent, but not James Bond? Or maybe we could have something like Ice Cube’s role in the second XXX, where the character isn’t the same guy from the Vin Diesel movie, but is instead his replacement using the same anonymous handle. So say James Bond dies for whatever reason, and MI6 recruits Idris and reveals that all the previous actors we’ve seen really are different men using the same code name? Think of the dread pirate Roberts from The Princess Bride, and this opens up the idea that Idris could take on the Bond mantel, but still be his own unique flavor of secret agent man.

Instead of Jane Bond, could we not make a woman spy film based on the real world women spies who worked for British and US forces throughout the years? Surely there’s at least one woman spy whose life would make a great movie.

The real problem is, Hollywood is still a hot racist and sexist mess. We can’t get a Black Panther movie, but as a consolation prize, Marvel will make a black Nick Fury specifically for Samuel Jackson. We get Idris Elba playing a god from a white mono-ethnic pantheon, but we can’t get a movie with say, Idris Elba as Anansi? We can’t get a Wonder Woman movie or TV series, and this is despite us already having Linda Carter play an awesome superhero way back when I was a little kid. Marvel pats themselves on the back for making a black Spider-Man, but making new iconic young black heroes for kids to grow up with is somehow difficult? (Hint: it’s not, and I’ll address this in a little bit if you’re still with me by this point.)

(Also, I’m not saying the new Spider-Man is a bad idea, considering how he has his own origin and he isn’t replacing the original character in a reboot, but is instead taking on the mantel in his own way. That’s a good thing, yes. But I’d just like to see more black heroes who have their own iconic costumes and their own rosters of villains and romantic interests.)

I’m sick of hearing how if minorities want this, they have to write the stories themselves. Because you can’t make an indie comic and have it be as important as a Marvel or DC comic. You won’t have the reach that those companies do, and you won’t have that billion-dollar promotional vehicle pushing your creation. Despite all this money available, the companies are afraid of taking risks on new ideas, so they just retread the same shit over and over.

And really, if these companies have been hearing for years that fans want a roster of heroes more reflective of the fandom’s diversity, why don’t white male writers put more effort into giving us new heroes of color, or women superheroes who aren’t in skintight bodysuits with half their boobs sticking out of their costume? If this has been an ongoing complaint from multiple groups of comic fans since I was in my teens, why are we still not seeing a stronger effort at presenting real diversity?

I remember that during the Death of Superman aftermath, only one of the four Supermen who came out earned my respect: John Henry, AKA: Steel. Why? Because each one of the other copies insisted that they were the real Superman. But when Lois asked John if he was Superman, he said no. He wasn’t trying to be Superman, but rather his own person, trying to do the right thing for all the people who needed a hero. His metal costume and masked face were very iconic and somehow miraculously avoided becoming an Iron Man clone. His armor had a great design to it, and I wanted more of this guy. He doesn’t have to be the black Superman. He’s motherfucking John Henry, and he stands on his own as a great hero, Steel.

Speaking of Iron Man, remember how there was a time when Tony got so sick from using his suit that he had to turn the role of Iron Man over to his best friend, James Rhodes? Here we have a black man in the same suit, but is clearly not the same person. It’s not a reboot to appease or placate people wanting diversity, but rather a major story arc that defines both Tony and James, and it gave James a chance to be the main character instead of a sidekick. And after he stopped being Iron Man, James was able to get his own book, War Machine.

Or, looking at a great young creation, how about Virgil Hawkins, AKA: Static? He was apparently good enough to get a comic book and a cartoon series, and I rather enjoyed both for giving us an original character not based on a reboot of some fifty-year old silver-era white dude. Static flew around on a trash can lid before developing his own metal flying disc. He wasn’t a rich guy who had it easy, and he had to balance being a superhero with being a student and still maintain the illusion of a normal social life. He still had to hang out at home with his dad and deal with lectures and all the headaches of being a teenager without independence. He was his own person, had his own story and his own life, and I loved every aspect of both his TV and comic series. If Static was successful enough to warrant a TV cartoon, why aren’t there more original black superheroes being developed? Because both Marvel and DC are now corporate giants too afraid to take risks.

So to be clear, I would love to see Idris Elba make a spy movie. I just don’t want him to be imitating James Bond. They could make a James Bond with Idris in the way I suggested at the start of this ramble, and I might see that depending on how the initial reviews turned out. But if he’s a reboot playing the same role straight, I’m not down with that. Because James Bond is a stale action movie franchise that needs to be let go, not rebooted with a different actor, black or white. If we get a hankering to see this same idea over and over, that’s what DVDs are for.

So there you go. You can still think I’m full of shit, and that’s okay. But don’t tell me I’m not allowed to think this is a bad idea just because it gets your undies creamy. I would rather see Idris Elba play his own iconic roles, so he has a chance to let his unique traits shine instead of being filtered through a character who is frankly below him.

And hey, since everyone is so hot on Joss Whedon lately, if he gave us great characters like Winfred Burkle and Charles Gunn, why can’t we hire him to do Wonder Woman and Static movies? I bet he could do a decent job with both properties and give fans real diversity instead of the same old crap all over again. Anywho, it’s food for thought, I’d hope.

A Boy and His Dawg beta on Wattpad

I’m a bit late in posting this here. How late? Six days late, to be precise. I didn’t remember to get over to Facebook to post news of the new beta reading either, and while I’ve been in a funk of sorts, I can’t rightly blame my emotions for my forgetfulness. I just didn’t remember that I needed to post something here. Totally my fault.

In any case, I started putting up two chapters per day for A Boy and His Dawg on Wattpad. Here’s the cover by artist H.D. Harris, who also handled art duties for A Frosty Girl’s Cure:

And here’s the blurb:

Tobe White has been friends with Keith Moon since second grade, and he thinks his attraction to his best friend is one-sided until Keith confesses his feelings. Their budding relationship leads to Keith being disowned, and Tobe chooses to come out to his parents to ask his father, a pastor, if Keith can move in with them rather than live out on the streets. His assumptions are again proved false when his religious father is able to accept Keith as a part of their family.

But Keith has a much bigger problem than being disowned, and during a full moon Tobe is shocked when Keith transforms into a wolf and attacks him. Despite his fears of living with a monster, Tobe decides to help Keith come to terms with his unleashed animal side. Somehow the young lovers must find a way to keep up appearances at school and avoid exposing Keith to the police.

Just when everything seems to be working out, a new threat arrives from out of town, and these inhuman new bullies don’t like wolves or gays. If Tobe doesn’t think fast, both he and Keith may end up in shallow graves.

___

As with my last Wattpad beta, after I post the last chapter, I’ll start a countdown of one month before I take this down and do some final polishing before I release it as an ebook.

And to keep y’all updated, the release date for Saving Gabriel is January 5th. It’s one of my shorter novels, and will be priced at $3.99. Since many readers have already asked for more books about Rosalinda and Gabriel, I feel I should make clear that yes, I do have ideas in mind for a sequel, but I need to see some sales on this book before I will commit to making this a full series. I also feel I should ask as politely as I can for support from early readers to help get this story out on the social radar. If you read the beta version and liked Rosalinda and Gabriel’s story, please consider doing a review to help me find more new readers.

And that’s it for now. I wish you all a merry Christmas, and I want to thank everyone in advance for giving my stories a chance.

Game review: Jetpack Joyride and Wizorb for PS Vita

This will be a review of two Sony Mini games, and also a study in stark contrasts. I loved one game and want to gush about it at length, and I loathed the other and only want to highlight why it felt like a waste of time and money.

Let me start by showing the love first for the PS Vita version of Jetpack Joyride, which began life as an iOS app. Reviews on the iPood version were glowing everywhere, and I’d longed for a version to try on my Win Phone. That never happened, but when I saw that there was a Vita version for $2.99, I jumped at the chance to finally find out if the hype had been justified. I’m happy to say it deserves all the praise it’s been given, and then some.

The game’s story is simple: you’re Barry, a spy in a tuxedo with the sleeves ripped off. You break into a factory of scientists, steal a jetpack, and proceed to wreak havoc while the possibly evil lab owners do their best to halt your rampage. At its heart, the goal of the game is just trying to best your previous run and get a little deeper into the factory. To help you along, you’ll find a variety of vehicles, and after you’ve collected some cash in the levels, you can unlock new jetpacks, gadgets, utilities, costumes, and vehicle upgrades.

First, let’s look at the jetpacks. Instead of just reskinning the same pack over and over, each pack has a slightly different feel in handling, with some being faster or slower to respond to inertia. The bubble pack will let you fall a lot farther before its output can overcome gravity, while the laser jetpack will shoot you to the top of the screen much faster than the other packs. There’s a gatling gun, a standard jetpack, a machine gun with a shark fin, and even a steampunk model. You DO want to try all of them and find out which model works best for you. For me, the standard jetpack is fantastic, so I only switch to my bubble and laser packs for a change of pace sometimes.

Then there’s the vehicles, a crazy assortment that you will find a personal favorite for and at least one that makes you cringe when you get it. For me, the best vehicle is Profit Bird, a flapping plane-like ship with a hinged beak that opens and gives you a bit more real estate to catch coins with. As you have to push the X button for each flap, this vehicle has the most direct feeling of being in control, and every vehicle after it feels like steps downward until I get to the Gravity Suit, which does exactly what the name implies and lets you swap gravity to run on the ceiling. I didn’t like it because it’s hard to sort out a button pressing rhythm to keep Barry floating in the middle of the screen, and instead the suit seems to be magnetically drawn to hazards.

In between these two vehicular choices are the Bad As Hog, a motorcycle and shotgun combo that lets you blast scientists with buckshot; Mr. Cuddles, a mechanical flying dragon who breaths fire; Lil’ Stomper, a robot mecha with rockets in its hands to make assisted long-distance jumps; and The Crazy teleporter, another device that does exactly what the label implies.

Upgrades for these vehicles make them “magnetic” so that you pick up coins easier, and then there’s gold versions, for the ultimate in snooty rampaging. I haven’t tried the gold versions, but I love the magnetized upgrades and will even endure the Gravity Suit so long as coins keep coming at me with ease.

The hazards in the games are an assortment of spy movie favorites. There’s electric zappers, floating laser traps, and homing missiles that will show up first as an exclamation points at the right side of the screen to let you know you’re being targeted. That exclamation point will flash with a yellow spiky bubble to let you know the missile has been launched, and you either fly over it or drop under it if you were airborne.

And while I’m talking up hazards, I must give kudos to the game makers for addressing one of my gaming pet peeves, which can be summed up, “If it’s deadly for me, it should be deadly for my enemy too.” Lot of games simply ignore a bullet passing from an enemy gun through an anemy body before it reaches me and kills me, and that shit pisses me off every single time I see it. Friendly fire isn’t fucking friendly, and I wish game makers would learn this and aply the same rules to enemies that they do to me. And here in Jetpack Joyride, if one of the little white hazard-suited scientists runs into a zapper, they get fried. If a homing missile hits them, they drop, and the floating lasers cook their butts just like mine if they run into the beam.

I thought at fist the zapper animations were buggy because sometimes scientists seemingly walked through the field of current. But then I noted that the floor had three layers of depth, and the non-panicked scientists were actually walling around the zapper. This is a nice touch, a suggestion of a 3D environment in a 2D game. I wish I could walk around the zappers in the same way, but I can at least see why some scientists got fried and others dodged that deathtrap.

There’s all kinds of nice touches in this game, from the gorgeous backgrounds and catchy theme song to the special items and the hilarious death animations for Barry and the scientists.

But this whole game would get dull fast if the only point was making more distance on each run, even with the levels being randomly generated with every play-through. What keeps the game fresh are the missions. These missions are little goals that may or may not have anything to do with your distance. Some ask you to high five the scientists, or to travel a certain distance without harming them. Some might ask you to buy an item and use it in the game. Some might ask you to have a “near miss” with the hazards. If a mission seems too hard to you, you can pay some gold from your stash to pass the mission without actually completing it. (I’ve not yet used this feature, but I appreciate that it’s there.)

When Barry gets killed by a hazard, he also has a chance to deploy a bomb which will propel him a few meters farther up the screen. There’s also head starts that jet you 750 or 1500 meters into the game without dealing with the hazards. (If your run end with you inside a hazard, the game will ignore it, another nice touch that pleases my beady black heart.) Then there are floating spin tokens you can collect to play a slot machine mini-game after Barry’s inevitable and routine demises. Prizes in this slot machine include a second life to keep going from where Barry dropped, a free head start to advance you 750 meters in the next round, bombs of varying blast strengths that will hurl your body a few more meters, extra spin tokens, and lots of gold. Lastly, there’s a gold doubler that will work in the next round to make every coin you collect worth two coins.

With all this gushing, you might think I have no complaints about Jetpack Joyride, but I do have a couple. First, the random level generations often result in situations that are impossible to pass. A tricky jump sequence is one thing, but the game has these rotating zappers that extend all the way from the floor to the ceiling, and it doesn’t matter if you drop or fly or run; you still fry. In fact, I hate the rotating zappers and feel like they’re cheap and annoying in an otherwise gloriously fun game.

My other problem is with the “Air Barry” shoes that grant you a regular jump ability. But the jump is haphazard, and a short press of the jump button results in wildly different jump heights even if I hit the button for the same length of time. Some jumps barely cleared the floor, which was what I wanted, but the next press at the same speed hurtles me up to the ceiling or into a zapper or laser, and that shit is infuriating when you only wanted to hop over a short hurdle. (It also doesn’t help that Barry’s “hit box” is iffy, and sometimes half his body goes through a hazard without harm while the very next hazard kisses a stand of hair and fries his ass.)

And the grammar Nazi in me longs to point out that several missions compel me to fly at maximum height and “rub your head on the roof.” No, I’m rubbing my head on the ceiling. To rub my head on the roof, I’d have to leave the building and fly upside down.

Despite these very minor nitpicks, I’m ready to give Jetpack Joyride and enthusiastic 5 stars. I’ve played through all the mission levels twice to earn badges and start over at the beginner-level missions, and last night I may have made a permanent toilet ring imprint in my butt because I kept saying, “Just one more try.” All this for a cheap mini-game that puts some of Sony’s AAA efforts on the Vita to shame. For a game with only one button and a goofy premise, this is so much fun that I cannot help but heartily recommend it to anyone looking for a fun time waster.

For as much as I loved Jetpack Joyride, I couldn’t say the same for Wizorb, a “tribute” to Breakout-type games built around the story of a wandering wizard hero. While the premise and trailer sounded great, I only played the game a few hours before losing my patience with it and wandering off.

Three flaws kill the fun of this game, and if the game makers could address these issues in a future patch, I might give this Mini another go. But the first flaw is, the paddle moves at the exact same speed as the ball. In every Breakout clone I’ve played, the paddle moves faster than the ball, allowing you to slide over and catch falling items before zipping the paddle back under the ball. But in Wizorb, most of the time you have to choose between sacrificing the ball to catch items or staying under the ball and losing all the loot. This sucks a donkey dick, and I hated playing mainly because of this handicap.

Flaw number two is, you must play every level in a world or you will lose whatever items you collected in previous levels. So there’s no playing one level and exiting to go back to town. No, you play all the levels or you get nothing. Fuck that noise.

And finally, there’s the antiquated continue credits bullshit. Game makers, arcades needed continue credits to convince little kids to keep plinking more quarters into those coin slots. Once I’ve paid you for the game, there’s no need for you to try and earn more quarters, so this continue credits thing is a dinosaur who didn’t get the memo that it was extinct in the last ice age.

Graphically, the game is cute in an 8-bit Zelda kind of way, and the chip tune music is passable and not too grating. But because of these three deal breakers sucking the joy out of the game early on, I give Wizorb 1 star and wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, not even fans of Breakout or its clones. There are better version of the game to play that aren’t half as irritating as this slow and painful turd.

Guest Post: What’s it like to date a vampire?

Yesterday I posted an excerpt of AJ Meyers’ newly released Something Wicked, the sequel to Something Witchy, and book two in the Mystics & Mayhem series. Today, I’m posting up this Q&A with the main character of the books, Ember Blaylock. So without further introduction, here’s Ember.

___

Hi! My name is Ember Blaylock, the narrator and eternal victim of the twisted mind of AJ Myers, the author of the Mystics & Mayhem series. Yeah, the hag (God, I hope she’s not reading this!) just released the second book in the series, Something Wicked, and is already plotting new and unusual ways to make my life a living Hell. Seriously, this chick needs to get a hobby or something!

Anyway, thanks to AJ telling my life story like it’s some form of entertainment, I’ve been getting some interesting fan mail. And I love how they always start out. It’s always something like, ‘You are so awesome!’ or ‘If I was a witch, I’d want to be just like you!’ But in the end, it always turns into a ‘What’s it like to date a vampire?’ questionnaire. Guess that’s to be expected, huh?

Since I don’t really feel like answering all those letters, I’m going to address a few of the questions these vamp groupies keep asking and save myself some time.

Ok, so the first question comes from some chick named Wendy in Washington—who actually put her picture in the envelope and asked me to give it to my boyfriend.

Wendy: What does it take to get a vampire to bite you?

Me: Really? What kind of question is that? Okay, not that I have the first clue why someone would willingly let a vampire mark them, but I guess just bleed in front of him. You know, cut your finger and ask him to kiss it and make it better? That would probably do the trick.

BUT! Before you do something stupid, you’d better make sure this guy likes you. Vampires only mark the donors they want to keep. That means if he doesn’t want to keep you, you might end up in a shiny box in a deep hole. Just sayin’!

 

Our next question is from Carrie from California—who irritated the hell out of me by asking me to give Nathan her number.

Carrie: So what do you feel right before he sinks his fangs in you? Is it like euphoria? Or like ‘Holy crap! This is going to hurt!’ Or ‘Man, I ate onions today! Oh, God! Does my blood taste like onions?!’

Me: Oh. My. God! Seriously, where do these people come up with these things? Okay, what does it feel like right before a vampire bites you? It’s scary as hell, that’s how it feels. And yes, when those T-Rex teeth sink into your neck, it hurts! But once he starts drinking… Well, never mind. Telling you would only encourage you, so I’ll leave that one alone.

 

 

Our next vampire groupie is Tina from Texas—who sent not only her address, but a key to her house. Do these people not know who they’re dealing with?

Tina: Can he really make you feel whatever he wants you to? Does he ever make you feel anything…interesting?

Me: Yes, he can—but he doesn’t dare because I have my own little set of abilities, and I will set him on fire the next time he tries that shit! And trust me, Nathan doesn’t need some vampy mind tricks to make me feel anything ‘interesting’.

 

Okay, now this next one from Marilee from Mississippi wasn’t so bad—it actually made me laugh. The fact that it came with an actual vial of blood addressed to my boyfriend? Not so much.

Marilee: So when you go on a date and you want to watch an awesome vampire movie, does he laugh through the whole thing?

Me: Actually, I’ve watched a vampire movie with Nathan before. And yes, he laughed all the way through it. He also rooted for the vampire to eat the hero. And in Nathan’s case, it’s infectious. By the time it was over, I was laughing and rooting for the vamp right along with him.

 

Now, this last one is from Anna from Alaska. This one took the cake for me. The other girls sent blood, phone numbers, addresses, house keys. This one sent a pair of red lace panties. Yeah, she’s a skank.

Anna: Does Nathan prefer silk sheets or Egyptian cotton? Just want to be sure he’s comfortable when he gets here.

Me: I have your address, dumbass.

Do you see what I have to deal with? And all because AJ can’t keep her big mouth shut when I tell her something! And those are just the letters I got after the first book, Something Witchy, came out. I hate to see what kind of ‘gifts’ Nathan receives after Something Wicked launches. But if you just can’t resist, go check them out. At least you’ll be entertained.

And if you fall in love with Nathan, too? Well, sucks to be you!

Guest post – excerpt: Something Wicked by AJ Meyers

Author Bio:

AJ Myers lives in her own little world—but according to the IRS, she actually resides in Mississippi—with her husband, who she loves more than life, her four amazing kids, and a crazy cast of family and friends who keep things interesting.

 

Book Blurb:

Welcome back to the World of Weird!  I’m Ember Blaylock, and I’ll be your guide through this treacherous—sometimes downright deadly—world I call my own.  Because if you thought our last trek through my reality was a rollercoaster ride, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

I thought I was going to get my life back.  I swore off all things witchy.  I lied to everyone I cared about.  I was even dealing with the nightmares that plagued me every night—souvenirs of my first foray through this not-so-wonderful world of mine.  Seriously, if the World of Weird doesn’t leave you with your fair share of issues, nothing will.  I really thought I could go back to being a normal senior in high school.

I was so wrong.

Between my doubts about giving my heart to my vampire boyfriend, uncovering a whole new set of secrets and lies, and seeing my old friend Jack every time I turned around, there was nothing ‘normal’ about my life.

And if that wasn’t enough to keep a girl on her toes, Moonlight, Missouri just got its very own serial killer.  A real psycho who seems to think it’s fun to turn his victims into Ember clones—and this creeper isn’t working alone.  He’s got help.  The witchy kind.  Sucks to be me, huh?

And you thought just surviving high school was tough…

Excerpt:

Those girls, I thought, my chest tightening even more as a tidal wave of fresh guilt hit me.  They died in my place.  They died because of me.

“It’s not your fault, baby,” Nathan said quietly, sounding as miserable as I felt.  “It’s not, Em.”

“It is,” I whispered as a tear rolled down my cheek.  “They’re dead because I wasn’t strong enough to get rid of him!”

With a sad sigh, Nathan walked over and wrapped his arms around me, tucking my head under his chin.  I let the tears fall then, tears of anger and sadness and a frustration that ran so deep I could feel it in my bones.  I let him comfort me because I knew he needed it as much as I did.  I let him wrap me up in his scent, breathing it in deeply to help ease my aching conscience and my worried thoughts.  I leaned on his strength, wishing I could borrow just a little of it.

“We have to call Shea, Em,” Nathan said softly when he thought I was calm enough to be reasonable.

I tensed against him and bit my lip to keep from saying something I wouldn’t really mean.  Grams and I hadn’t exactly parted on good terms when she left for Washington.  After banishing the body of one of my best friends, I had sworn off all things witchy.  Grams had begged, pleaded, and even tried to bribe me into reconsidering, but I had refused to even hear her out.  Finally, in a fit of temper, she had packed her things and gone home.  Her parting words hadn’t been lost on me, however.

“Deny your heritage all you want, Ember Leigh,” she had told me, giving me one of the piercing glares she was so well known for, “but mark my words, a day will come when you can’t run from yourself any longer.  When that time comes, I will be waiting.”

From where I was standing, it looked like that day was coming sooner rather than later.

“Fine, call her,” I agreed finally—albeit grudgingly.  “When you do, though, tell her I’m really not in the mood to hear her say I told you so.”

“Noted,” he said with a slight smile, dropping a kiss on top of my head.

I sank onto the stool next to me as he walked out of the kitchen, his phone already pressed to his ear.  When I was sure he was gone, I folded my arms on the counter and laid my head on top of them.  I closed my eyes and tried to center myself the way Grams had taught me to, but I shouldn’t have wasted my time.  As confused and overwhelmed as I felt, my center was probably in the bottom of the Pacific or something.

“If I could just find him,” I whispered to myself.  “If I could find him, I could stop him before he hurts anyone else.  I have to stop him.”

“Good luck with that, babe,” a familiar voice said sarcastically just as a blast of freezing cold air hit me, causing me to shiver.

I lifted my head to find my least favorite ghost—ever—leaning against the counter across from me, smoothing out his orange-streaked hair.  I narrowed my eyes at him, but Snake just shrugged, causing the chains on his leather jacket to jingle.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Snake?” I asked with a sigh, leaning back on my stool and crossing my arms over my chest—more to keep warm than to be intimidating.

“Aw, Ember!  You know I love to watch you wallow in self-pity,” he quipped with a grin, hopping up to sit on the counter behind him.  “You’re my sole form of entertainment.  I mean, what else do I have to do?  I’m dead, hot stuff.”

“But not gone, unfortunately,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.  “Really, Snake, what do you want?”

“Hmm…” he murmured, rubbing his chin like he was really thinking about it.  “Well, I guess I want what I wanted yesterday and the day before that and the day before that.  The stairway to heaven.  On the other hand, if that old guy is really there ticking off names on some list, there’s probably a reject stamp next to mine, so there’s no hurry or anything.”

“At the moment, though, I’m here to help you.  Again,” he said, winking when I arched an eyebrow at him.

“And just how do you think you can help me?” I asked, not really in the mood to play games with him.

“I know how you can find your demon.”

“And how would you know where he is?” I asked, my eyes widening to the size of flying saucers.  “Aw, Snake!  You crossed over to the dark side, didn’t you?  What?  Are you playing errand boy for this creeper now?!”

“Do I look like the kind of dead guy who hangs out with demonic pieces of crap?” he snorted, looking genuinely offended.  “Give me some credit, Ember!”

He was right, that had been out of line.  When he was in front of me, though, with his smartass attitude and smug smirk, I forgot how much I owed him.  If it hadn’t been for Snake, Jack would have killed Nathan and I wouldn’t have been able to do anything but watch.  It had been Snake who’d told me how to break Nathan’s vampy mental bind so I could save him.  I owed him more than just his imaginary stairway to heaven for that.

“Okay, so you’re not in league with the demon,” I conceded, sighing again.  “But I can’t stop him if I don’t know where he is, genius.”

“God, you’re thick!” he muttered, rolling his eyes and shaking his multicolored mullet.  “Ember, what am I?”

“Annoying?” I suggested, biting back a smile when he scowled at me.  “Inconsiderate?  A pervert?  Yeah, don’t think I don’t know you like to play Peeping Tom in the shower, Snake.  That jacket of yours jingles like sleigh bells every time you move.”

I thought maybe I’d hit my mark with that one.  Snake looked like he was ready to flicker out from pure embarrassment.  I smirked at his mortified expression and he flipped me off.

“I’m dead, dumbass,” he said with an exasperated huff, pointing at the counter next to me.  “And if you can see me, why can’t you see her?”

Frowning, I turned to find a copy of the Moonlight Herald on the counter next to me.  I picked it up with a shaking hand and stared at the picture of Jack’s latest victim.  Annoying as he was, Snake had a point.  The cops hadn’t been able to find Jack.  Grams hadn’t been able to find him with her demon searches and Mrs. Amelia hadn’t picked up anything from the wards around town.  That meant the only three people who knew where he was…

“Light dawns on marble head,” Snake muttered to the ceiling like he was praying for patience when my mouth fell open.

“Snake, you really are a genius!” I told him excitedly.  “There’s just one small, tiny, itsy bitsy problem…”

“Yes?”

“I haven’t seen this girl,” I told him, turning the paper around so Jack’s victim’s picture was facing him.  “Her or any of the others.”

“So?  You’re a sorceress or something right?” he asked, giving me a look that said he thought I was being dumb on purpose.

“A bandraoi,” I corrected him, rolling my eyes.

“Whatever.  Bandraoi, sorceress, the hag with the flying monkeys, it’s all the same thing,” he said huffing impatiently.  “You’re a witch.  A witch who sees dead people.  So go find her.”

With that, he was gone.  For a long time, I just sat there staring at the counter where he’d been perched and thought about what he’d said.  I didn’t usually have to find my ghosts.  They just showed up and never left.  How the hell did one go about findinga dead girl?

___

You can find Something Wicked on Amazon, and be sure to read the first book in the Mystics & Mayhem series, Something Witchy.

The rise of popular bondage…

Today’s probably not the best day for me to blog. I’m going off tobacco after smoking for around two months, so I’m having some lovely nicotine fits every few minutes.

But I got reminded of something that’s been bugging me for a while when I clicked a link titled “Man Candy” and found a dude tied to a chair in an intricate set of bondage ropes and knots. No mention in the message that this was bondage, and my first reactions was “Oh what the fuck?”

Here’s my problem. Erotica listings in my feed are nearing 80% bondage and sadomasochism, where most of the stories are about a douchebag male beating a woman “until she likes it.” Is there a safe word? Nah. Fuck reality, this is a fantasy about kidnapping a new slave and forcing them into submission.

Even if I hate this premise with every fiber of my queer body, I’d be okay with this trend if it meant people are more open-minded about all erotica in general. But while stories of beating women into sexual compliance are becoming more popular, gay and trans erotica remain niches. Hell, as it is, even trying to find stories about straight couple who just fuck and cuddle in my stream is becoming a chore.

And the wild thing is, the people who RT BDSM porn will promote children’s books and YA right next to the whips and chains fantasies, but won’t RT a gay or trans erotica. Think about how messed up that line of thinking is. Tying someone up and beating them against their will? Fit for promotion right next to middle grade fantasies. But erotica featuring two men is something they can’t touch at all because it’s so “squicky.”

I don’t like bondage, and when my girlfriend asked me to tie her up, I got turned off. We had to compromise where she wore a pair of slip knots around her wrists and held the rope herself to keep the tension where she wanted it. I couldn’t even hold the rope without feeling sick.

It’s not because I think bondage is sick, but because as a child, I had lost control of my life to others who blackmailed me into doing what they wanted. I was a sex toy, and what I wanted didn’t matter. This is to say nothing of how adults and children alike bullied and cajoled me into being ashamed of who I was and forcing a false personality on me.

Because of my formative years being so fucked up, bondage erotica and its fantasies of stripping control from someone rips my guts up and triggers me into anger fits so bad that I start shaking and looking for something to hit. Even in non-erotic fiction where someone gets tied up, I get triggered and have to stop reading until my insides stop trying to rearrange themselves. I LOVED Gwen Cole’s YA story, Windswept, but during the chapters when the hero was bound and cuffed, I had to read a few lines at a time before getting up and pacing around my desk like a caged animal. Yes, it’s that disturbing for me to see someone lose their freedom, even a fictional character.

I don’t care what others do in their bedrooms, and I would never suggest that people into bondage are sick. But at this point there are readers of these stories who aren’t into bondage, but are willing to read about it as a mental diversion. If this were a broader sign of evolving social mores, I’d be ecstatic at the change. But the problem is, people reading about bondage won’t touch other forms of erotica without that aspect of violence and domination of women. It’s not a sign of progress for erotica, but proof of the advancement of violence worship over romance. I see it as a further sign of societal acceptance of violence, while still rejecting sex as something unclean and unholy.

In a way, it makes me wish I could write better erotica. Sadly, my plots keep getting in the way of my sex scenes, and once I get to the editing phase, half the sex hits the cutting room floor because it doesn’t serve the story. I may do okay writing sex scenes, but I suck at writing proper erotica.

I am still an occasional reader of erotica, both straight and queer, and I’m finding more often that clicking a link to a book labeled erotica means it’s a story about spanking, beating, or tying up a woman. Not a woman who was submissive and met a new dom lover in a sex club. No, a random woman taken against her will and forced to become submissive. Sex slavery fantasies don’t have anything to do with real BDSM, but they’re selling like hot cakes with people who aren’t into bondage. And I feel like that’s a bad thing, when we can find a glut of books about sexual slavery, but have trouble finding erotica about gay, bi, or trans people without searching a specialty publisher.

Violence is still mainstream, and real sex and intimacy are squicky. This is a problem, people. If you’re open-minded enough to read about women being beaten, can’t you at least make a small effort to read queer erotica? Or at the very least read a book where the male lead seduces his lover in a better way than tying her up and beating her senseless?