Rachel Kramer Bussel's Blog, page 100

BDSM Book Reviews gets my taste in bondage, which means more to me than 5 paddles

Who doesn't love a rave review? I'm vain enough to cop to saying that of course I love reviews that say nice things about my books. But not all great reviews are equal. There are some that let you know the reviewer gets what you were trying to do, and as both an anthology editor and book reviewer, I'm not trying to suggest that "what the author/editor was trying to do" is the only way to interpret a book. There is no "correct" one true way of interpreting a work of art (see this post) but in this case, especially as I'm in the midst of editing Best Bondage Erotica 2014, I was thrilled to see that the things BDSM Book Reviews highlighted in its review of Best Bondage Erotica 2013 were precisely the things I look for when selecting stories:

What is really appealing about this book is the creative ways people are bound. The ones where there is a treat of exposure outside are exhilarating. The reader can feel both the excitement and the anxiety of being caught. One of the bondage stories includes walking through a hotel where others could see their sexy restraints before the Domme and her female submissive retires to a lush hotel room. Each one of these stories will appeal to many reader’s fantasies.

More on the book:



Buy Best Bondage Erotica 2013 at:

Amazon

Kindle (ebook)

Bn.com

Nook (ebook)

IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore)

Cleis Press

Foreword: Uncomfortable Truths Graydancer
Introduction: Loving Bondage Anywhere and Everywhere
An Introduction to Shibari Elizabeth Coldwell
This Is Me Holding You Annabeth Leong
Tying the Knot Tiffany Reisz
The Great Outdoors Teresa Noelle Roberts
What Vacations Are For Thomas S. Roche
Lights Out Mina Murray
Feeling the Heat Lucy Felthouse
You Can Look… Evan Mora
The Moons of Mars Valerie Alexander
Interlude for the Troops Louise Blaydon
Hot in the City Sommer Marsden
Passion Party Purgatory Logan Zachary
Steadfast Andrea Dale
Tree Hugger Giselle Renarde
A Public Spectacle D. L. King
Seven More Days N. T. Morley
A Bit of a Tangle Monocle
Wheelbarrow Position Danielle Mignon
The Longest Afternoon Medea Mor
Plastic Wrap Shoshanna Evers
Wiped Kay Jaybee
Foot and Mouth Rachel Kramer Bussel

Introduction: Loving Bondage Anywhere and Everywhere

One of the main things I look for when editing the Best Bondage Erotica series is variety. I want a mix of types of people being tied up, a range of implements used to bind, a diverse setting for these kinky scenarios. This year, I got all that and more—much more.

I was especially pleased to see that several authors threw open the bedroom door and took their kinky play outside. In “The Great Outdoors,” “Wheelbarrow Position” and “Tree Hugger,” you’ll find some very creative bondage that borders on exhibitionism, as well as full-on exhibitionism in “A Public Spectacle.” The excitement of being exposed, of baring your body to the elements and not being able to escape should someone walk by, is expounded on with kinky delight in these tales.

The variety doesn’t end there. There are newcomers, whether to bondage or specific types of bondage play, from shibari to a simple rope harness, plastic wrap to handcuffs to a chastity tube. There are sex toys, all manner of them, from a special pink ribbon to a Hitachi Magic Wand, and they come into play in ways that will surprise and delight you, but what I’m most thrilled about with this collection is what the men and women feel once they are tied up, bound, restrained, at someone else’s mercy. Here’s a sampling:

“…this is a stranger for whom I want to be the very best toy ever.” (“The Moons of Mars”)

“She focused on her breathing. Taking slow, deep breaths, she stared back at him, daring him to do his worst.” (“The Longest Afternoon”)

“The blatant hunger on his face almost made up for the last year of neglect. But he was struggling against his bonds now, and that just wouldn’t do.” (“Lights Out”)

“Maybe it’s because I’m a sucker that I fall for it every time. Maybe I just want to. But when I see and hear him taking out the duct tape, I squirm in anticipation.” (“Foot and Mouth”)

These characters find themselves appreciating even the discomfort of bondage, trading their autonomy for something greater, something that sets them free—from convention, from daily life, from their usual roles. It’s that freedom to exult, straight, mouth off, give and take pleasure that I hope comes across the strongest in these pages. For while these stories take place in a variety of settings, using all sorts of implements and household items, what they have in common is desire, curiosity and a willingness to pursue them, even when you’re not sure where the journey will take you. I hope dedicated bondage fans, newcomers and those of you who share that curiosity about the thrills of being tied to a tree or a chair or a bed, will keep this book handy and be inspired to dream up, and live out, your own fantasies.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City

And here's a bonus of a few paragraphs of my story "Foot and Mouth," a very sex toy filled tale!

"Foot and Mouth" by Rachel Kramer Bussel

Shiny silver bondage tape. Dangling bells at the ends of matching nipple clamps. A black leather paddle. A Wartenberg wheel, that tiny, mean, metal medical implement. Pink feathers. And an evil grin. I shiver not so much because Bennett has those sadistic items in his hands, save for the last, which he sported on his lips, but because I can already feel the sticky heat of the tape trapping my mouth, the brush of the light feathers against the overly sensitive skin under my arms, the wheel winding its maddening way along my tender, ticklish soles. Even more than those inanimate objects that my man loves to animate, though, it’s him who makes me shiver. Bennett knows even better than I that he and he alone can make me stay stock-still, can make me tremble in fear and arousal so closely combined I have no idea where one starts and the other stops.

My entire body strains toward these kinky accoutrements, and toward him, the pull so deep I can barely remember a time before I was at his mercy, even though I know there exists such a time. Now it’s just me and him and however he wants to use me. Sometimes he only wants my mouth, sometimes my ass, sometimes my pussy, sometimes my mind. Sometimes I put on shows for him, sometimes I tell him stories, sometimes I bend over.

Today I know it’s not about what I want or can do for him at all; he wants to hurt me, and therefore he will, and I will like it, because that’s how I respond to him. My nipples can already feel the press of the clamps, the deep heat that seems to burn its way through me, and stays there. Bennett’s smile is a little mysterious, small, playful, which usually means his mind is concocting grand plans to torture me. If he could read my desire for pain, for service, for full immersion in being completely his from day one, then now, well past day one thousand and one, it’s like he knows me better than I know myself.

He’s not the kind of person you can ever tell what you want straight on. Or you can, but it doesn’t do you any good, not as a sub. Or more accurately, it doesn’t do me any good. Bennett gets a perverse pleasure out of denying me what I crave, out of only giving in when he knows I’m so mad with desire I almost no longer want it. Then he unleashes every ounce of sadistic determination on me, but not a moment sooner. He’s not interested in the “You like to be spanked, therefore I’ll spank you” kind of equation. Too straightforward, too boring. He’s told me as much. “If you just want some man to play Dom, or play Daddy, go find someone else,” he told me on our first date. I hadn’t intended to tell him all about my kinkiest fantasies; the ones I’d never told anyone, even the men I let tie me up and have their way with me. I hadn’t ever truly gone there, hadn’t even realized where “there” was until, without even a drop of wine, Bennett coaxed the truth out of me. The very naughty truth that made my cheeks burn, as I whispered it across the flickering candles and elegant tablecloth and forgotten meal.

It’s not just because he’s a genius, literally, and his mind moves too fast for that to be at all interesting to him. And it’s not the wealth of lovers he’s had before me on whom he’s honed his Dominant skills, either. It’s that he wants each time to be better than the last. He wants it to matter. He wants me to feel it not just on the tender surface of my skin but inside, deep down, all the way, where it counts. When he takes out his knife and traces it along the swell of my breast, he wants me to wonder, even for a split second, if he’ll be careless⎯or, worse, careful⎯and break the skin. He wants me to wonder, when he tells me he is bringing guests while I’m all trussed up, if he really is, and how many. He wants me to be uncertain whether he’d actually try to get his gigantic fingers inside my tight but eager ass without lube. Maybe it’s because I’m a sucker that I fall for it every time. Maybe I just want to. But when I see and hear him taking out the duct tape, I squirm in anticipation. I know I will miss the chance to mouth off, or to simply tell him basic things like, “Yes!” or “Fuck,” or “Please,” or “More.” We are both attuned to the verbal nuances of power play, so it’s rare that he takes away my power of speech. He does like to see me drool, but gags aren’t his style. He’s more the type to shove four fingers in my mouth and wait until the saliva starts to spill down my throat, or hand me a particularly large cucumber and insist I take it as far as I can.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know that a part of him, and, yes, a part of me, is already thinking about how the tape will feel coming off, how it will rip at the tender skin of my upper lip, my chin, my cheeks. Will it leave red marks? Will my lips burn? I whimper as the future pain whispers to me, and he looks down at me with what would typically be called contempt, except I know it as love. That’s his way, and when he pinches my lips closed with his fingers, I instinctively spread my legs. Trust me, we have plenty of truly tender, TLC moments, but not when we’re about to indulge our deepest desires. I’d say “do a scene,” but there is nothing of performance art about this.

“You want the tape, don’t you, Sophie?” he asks, even though it’s not really a question. He peels the shiny silver tape so close to me I hear its separation from the roll loudly. When I nod, he frowns at me.

“Yes, Bennett, I do, I want the tape. You know I want the tape.” Except it’s not about knowing, it’s about acknowledging these truths, saying them out loud, admitting them.

In 12-step programs, they say that admitting it is the first step, but in kink, at least my kink, admitting it is not about disowning it, but the very opposite: owning every ounce of what makes me so perverse as to want that tape on my most tender parts. It’s a good thing I’m so clear on my own perversions, because that’s the very next question Bennett asks me. “Where do you want the tape?” Oh, but is that ever a trick question. Do I want it on my nipples⎯and will I want it when it comes off my nipples? Do I want it binding my ankles together? Do I want it wrapping my wrists together so that I can see myself like a glinting Christmas present, all wrapped up and waiting for its proud owner to tear apart?

"You must have seen a different play" - some thoughts on opinions, difference, and what makes the world so beautiful

Last weekend, I went to a matinee of Tanya Barfield's play The Call at Playwrights Horizons. The crowd was, by my estimate, made up for 90% people over 60, with most of them closer to 70 or above. Judging from the chatter I heard, most had also seen the other play showing there now, Annie Baker's The Flick (elevator consensus: too long—I misread when it was playing so won't get a chance to see it this time around). Anyway, after the play was over, the woman sitting next to me turned to me and asked what I thought. "I liked it," I said. "You must have seen a different play," she said. She didn't say it in a mean or rude way, more a baffled way. I can't remember if she stayed for the Q&A with Barfield afterward, but that helped illuminate some aspects of the play for me. Now, I did like it, but learning that it's being rewritten with every performance also made me wonder what the final product might look like. It brought up some powerful issues about fertility, adoption, race, community, neighborliness, compassion, empathy, family. I thought it was definitely worth the $30, but probably my biggest revelation wasn't about the play itself but what my seat neighbor said to me.

Because isn't that what makes the world go round, ultimately? That we are all here on the same earth but can be in the very same space and experience things so utterly differently. This weekend I also watched Eyes Wide Shut, which I was expecting based on everything I'd heard to be a sexy movie. I was hoping to get some writing inspiration. Instead, I fear I will dream about the creepy masks. I kept falling asleep on and off and was grouchy, hopefully in an adorable way, though I am probably kidding myself on that front. My boyfriend kept saying we should watch the rest in the morning but I insisted on keeping it on, so I missed a few key plot points, but the next morning we talked about the movie, about how Kubrick died before the final edits, about its issues with the ratings board, about what the lack of actual sex in a movie ostensibly about desire meant.

That discussion meant a lot to me. I realized that most of my cultural consumption is of books; I have always been and probably always will be a bookworm. If I could change one thing about my reading habits it's that I'd like to read faster so I could read more. But because not everyone I know is as voracious a reader as I am, or reading the same things, I don't often get to have in-depth discussions about books. Maybe I should seek out a book club when I move. I found in both the theater talkback and our two-person movie critique that what I saw, and how I processed it, are just one part of the puzzle. That the watching and contemplating don't end when the movie or play ends.

Most of all, that we are all living on the same planet, sometimes in the same spaces, sometimes doing and seeing the same things, but that doesn't mean we come out of those equations the same. To me that's what makes the magic of connecting with people in a genuine way so magical—it doesn't happen with everyone. Just because, say, my friend is friends with someone, doesn't mean I'll get along with them. Just because you think someone's sexy doesn't mean I will. And that's not only okay, that's wonderful news because then we have things to discuss and ponder and maybe even, like my neighbor, shake our heads over. It made me realize that in my work I can't cater to anyone or expect everyone, or maybe even anyone, to like it. I just need to make sure I like it and, in the case of work I'm selling, make sure my editor(s) like it. And make sure it's something I can be proud of. And in the case of me, I also can start to edge away from the viciousness of my innate people pleasing ways. Pleasing everyone is a game I'm bound to lose, and maybe even pleasing anyone. Certainly trying to please anyone at my own expense. It's a fool's errand and I don't even know how much of my life I've spent playing and being that fool because it mattered so much to me. I thought that's who I was: what other people saw. I thought I should rewrite myself, redo myself, remove myself, hate myself, in accordance with their opinions.

What's funny is that Barfield told us she's been revising her play, 15-20 pages, approximately, with each performance. But not, I didn't get the impression, because other people didn't like it. Because, to perhaps stretch this metaphor, she got the call, in her own head. She listened, closely, minutely, and watched, and was free to experiment and change and try. I'm reading a book, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life , now that's blowing my mind, cracking it open, the kind of book that feels like it was written specifically to me because it's so true. It's not out another month or so, and I will be covering it way more extensively, but since it's so eerily spot on in so many areas of my life, including this post, I will share that author Jen Sincero advises us to "become aware of what you're gaining from your stories" and goes on to write: "We pretty much don't ever do anything that we don't benefit from in some way, be it in a healthy way or an unhealthy way. If you're perpetuating something dismal in your life because of some dopey story, there's definitely something about it that you're getting off on." Bingo! I know her book isn't literally written just for me, but that was me for so long it was eerie to read. I'm trying to live a different kind of life these days, to apply a better awareness of myself to my behavior, to not automatically believe that when someone else thinks something, they're right, by virtue of being them.

That's a lot easier than it sounds. My first, instantaneous, gut reaction will probably always be to believe that the woman next to me (literally her, and iterations of her) is right. It's much easier to be a follower than a leader. It's much easier to let everyone else be "right" than fight, internally and externally, for your opinions. It's much easier to assume everyone else is better educated and more knowledgeable so their opinions deserve more weight. But I'm over the false promise of "easy." That got me precisely nowhere with my life. I'm ready to tackle hard, to tackle discussion, debate, nuance. I'm ready to tell myself a new story, which might just be that I'm a badass. Tonight I'm covering and presenting an award at The Feminist Porn Awards. The latter happened by what also feels like magic, but really, was just a result of being me, the me who left law school with no safety net and didn't "decide to become an erotica writer" but, looking back, it seems, got a call to do so. The me that doesn't even watch all that much porn but feels a kinship with this community; the me that watched a short film set in New York and felt at home seeing a little bit of my home reflected back on the screen, even though I'm in another city, another country. There was a time when things like that would happen and I'd want to demur, and sometimes did. You don't want me, you want someone better/smarter/prettier/more organized/more perfect. I couldn't accept the wonders and miracles and happy surprises because I was so deep into my story about how wretched I was. When no one seemed to believe I was that wretched, I'd do things to make them see it. See? Now do you believe me? Look at all these fuckups, piled up like a car wreck, each one more catastrophic than the next. Now don't you think I'm wretched? But to echo what pretty much every self-help or spiritual book I've ever read says: No. I'm not wretched. I'm a person who's flawed and has made a lot of mistakes, but when I stop reminding myself of my wretchedness, I can appreciate glorious weeks like this one. I can accept those gifts from the universe given simply by being myself, that same flawed person, but one who accepts her flaws and doesn't let them sabotage her purpose.

It's also helped me realize that if my job is just to be me, I don't need to convince or beg or hope or wish anyone else thinks I'm a badass or a good writer or a good person or a good anything. Not my friends or family or boyfriend or exes or potential employers or my local baristas or strangers or God. Letting go of wanting everyone to like me is like peeling off layers of flaky skin after a sunburn; it doesn't hurt, exactly, since they shed and shed and shed. It's just that there are so many layers, a seemingly endless amount. When you want certain things for an entire lifetime, learning to unwant them is, yes, hard. But worth it, so so worth it. I can't wait to sit next to everyone and everyone and watch different plays. Together.

One of the interviews I'm most proud of doing, ever: Carry On, Warrior author Glennon Doyle Melton for The Fix

I've done dozens, if not hundreds of interviews, because that is one of the things I most love: seeing or reading or experiencing someone's art and getting the honor of picking their brain. And when a book changes my life and makes me rethink it and realize that being flawed isn't a bad thing, but perhaps makes you a stronger, more committed person, if you will it, then I'm even more humbled. For me, reading Glennon Doyle Melton's Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed changed my worldview and made me want to be a better person, based on her example. I'm extremely proud of my interview with her for The Fix. When someone is that raw, real, open and giving, it makes it easy to ask hard questions. Do also read her blog Momastery. She is right: we can do hard things. I'm learning that, baby step by baby step, one second at at time, as I rework myself into someone I can be proud of. In the book and on her blog, she quotes Anaïs Nin: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." That quote cut me right open because it's so true, and as someone who has lived in fear for what feels like forever, breaking out of that feels beyond liberating. It feels like something I have no words for. So thank you, Glennon, Anaïs, the Universe, for giving me the chance to remake myself into the best possible version of myself, with every moment, every decision, every failure, and reminding me why I need to.

24-hour BOGO sale for Kindle and Nook of Best Sex Writing 2013 April 16th only

For 24 hours only on its official publication day, April 16th from midnight EST to 11:59 p.m. EST, I am offering you a special deal: buy Best Sex Writing 2013 in Kindle or Nook form, and I will send you any of my other Cleis Press ebooks, Kindle or Nook, totally free! Just forward your Best Sex Writing 2013 ebook receipt to bestsexwriting2013 at gmail.com with "BOGO" in the subject line and tell me which book you'd like of the following, and which format, and I'll send it as a gift! Important: This offer is ONLY good for ebooks purchased during that 24 hour period (if you're wondering why, as far as I know, bestseller lists are calculated based on the momentum of a book's sales in a given time period, so many people purchasing the book in the same day actually boosts the effectiveness of each sale and has the potential to let many more people see that this book exists). This book is one I'm extremely proud of--just look at the table of contents to see why. And stay tuned for the virtual book tour next month! I feel grateful and humbled and honored that all the people involved allowed me to print and reprint their work, and want to send that energy back into the world by making sure as many people as I possibly can convince read this book. This series has been a labor of love in many ways, but I believe in labors of love and in being passionate about what I do, so I hope you will take advantage of this deal if you plan to read this in ebook form. Book pick options: Twice the Pleasure: Bisexual Women's Erotica, Anything for You: Erotica for Kinky Couples, Serving Him: Sexy Stories of Submission, Instruments of Pleasure: Sex Toy Erotica, Caught Looking, Crossdressing, He's on Top, She's on Top, Yes, Sir, Yes, Ma'am, Please, Sir, Please, Ma'am, Rubber Sex, Spanked, Bottoms Up, Cheeky Spanking Stories, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, Going Down, Do Not Disturb, Suite Encounters, The Mile High Club, Peep Show, Fast Girls, Orgasmic, Smooth, Passion, Irresistible, Gotta Have It; 69 Stories of Sudden Sex, Surrender, Obsessed, Women in Lust, Hide and Seek Only You, Best Bondage Erotica 2001, Best Bondage Erotica 2012, Best Bondage Erotica 2013, Best Sex Writing 2008, Best Sex Writing 2009, Best Sex Writing 2010, Best Sex Writing 2012.



About the book (aka, why I'm so giddy about it and want you to read it):



Foreword Carol Queen
Introduction: A Different Kind of Sexual Education

Live Nude Models Jonathan Lethem
Can a Better Vibrator Inspire an Age of Great American Sex? Andy Isaacson
Sex by Numbers Rachel Swan
Very Legal: Sex and Love in Retirement Alex Morris
Notes from a Unicorn Seth Fischer
Rest Stop Confidential Conner Habib
When on Fire Island… A Polyamorous Disaster Nicholas Garnett
Cherry Picking Julia Serano
Holy Fuck: The Fourth-and-Long Virgin Jon Pressick
Baby Talk Rachel Kramer Bussel
Dear John Lori Selke
Sex by Any Other Name Insiya Ansari
Enhancing Masochism Patrick Califia
Submissive: A Personal Manifesto Madison Young
Ghosts: All My Men Are Dead Carol Queen
Happy Hookers Melissa Gira Grant
Christian Conservatives vs. Sex: The Long War Over Reproductive Freedom Rob Boston
Porn Defends the Money Shot Dennis Romero
Lost Boys Kristen Hinman
The Original Blonde Neal Gabler

Introduction: A Different Kind of Sexual Education

As editor of the Best Sex Writing series, and a writer about sex in both fiction and nonfiction forms, I’m privileged to hear from lots of people about sexuality, whether asking for advice or wanting to talk about the big issues of the day, whether that means attacks on birth control or Fifty Shades of Grey. The biggest thing I’ve learned, though, is pretty basic: we are all always learning. You can indeed get a PhD in sexology, like foreword author and contributor Carol Queen did, but that doesn’t mean you simply give up and assume you know everything about the wide world of sexuality and sexual variation. You can’t; it’s impossible.

Part of why sex writing is so vital is because we all have things to learn—about ourselves, and about others. While this book will not teach you how to have sex, you will learn about what motivates others in their sexual desires, whether to engage in multiple relationships, perform sex work, come out as bisexual, build increasingly advanced vibrators, or more.

I think it’s safe to say that whether this is the first book about sex you’ve ever read or the thousandth, you will learn something about what makes people tick, about sexual desire and sexual community. The latter is as important to me as the former, because it’s within the community of sex writers, educators and activists that I’ve carved out a place for myself as a bisexual, feminist, kinky sex writer. Lori Selke writes in her open letter, “Dear John,” about feeling disillusioned by the judgments being passed around her local leather community. “See, my kinky leather identity grew firmly out of my queerness and my feminism. All three of those elements are important and in some ways inseparable. It’s important to me to pursue the sort of social justice that ensures that our consensual relationships are someday entered into from a place of roughly equal societal power. Without that aim, we’re simply perpetuating oppression.” I suspect many people aren’t aware of just how committed to their ideals those in the kink and leather communities are. To assume it’s all about whips, chains, bondage and spanking is to miss the point—of course it’s about those things, but it’s also about much more.

The educational lessons here are often much more personal. When Conner Habib opens his essay “Rest Stop Confidential” with, “I was fifteen the first time I found out that men have sex in public,” I must admit that, at thirty-seven, I have only seen men having sex in public at parties specifically designed for sex. The first of many firsts Julia Serano details in “Cherry Picking” begins, “The first time I learned about sex was in fifth grade.” We are all both capable of learning more, and impacted by what we did—or didn’t—learn about sex at a young age.

Some of what you’re about to read is sad or scary or disheartening; I cannot promise you a book of shiny happy sex bouncing off every page, because that is not the world we live in. There are laws to fight against, AIDS plaguing the gay community, internalized oppression, questions that may have no answers, or multiple answers. I didn’t select these essays and articles because they purport to have all the answers.

Last year’s guest judge, the noted sexual commentator Susie Bright, when asked about The Guardian’s Bad Sex award, responded, “There is no art without sex.” I think the same could be said for the news; sex is not a topic squirreled away on the back page of the paper; it’s on the front page, in the sports section, the business section, the editorials. It’s covered in fashion magazines and newsweeklies. In Best Sex Writing 2013, hot topics include New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow’s virginity and the laws governing condom use in porn.

Sex education remains at the forefront of the news and continues to be “controversial,” though, like birth control, another political battleground of late in the United States, I would think it would be a no-brainer. Yet I can still read articles like one in Time about the Mississippi county, Tunica, with the highest teen pregnancy that is only recently getting on board with sex ed, via a law mandating it do so. “During the four years Ashley McKay attended Rosa Fort High School in Tunica, Miss., her sex education consisted mainly of an instructor listing different sexually transmitted diseases. ‘There was no curriculum,’ she says. ‘The teacher, an older gentleman who was also the football coach, would tell us, “If you get AIDS, you’re gonna die. Pick out your casket, because you’re gonna die.”’”

We should not be reading articles like this any longer, but we are, and it’s not just youths who are in dire need of sex education. Just today, I received an email from an acquaintance asking if I could chat because, “I have found a wonderful woman with whom i have begun to explore areas of my sexuality i really have never followed through on or even verbally fantasized about.” He has questions. So do many people, but they don’t know where to turn.

This book doesn’t purport to have all the answers, and is likely to raise many discussions and propose multiple answers to questions about open relationships, prostitution, sexual orientation and other topics. It cannot take the place of talking about sex—with your lovers, friends, parents, children, neighbors and coworkers. Those shouldn’t be the same conversations, but they can exist, and by making sex a topic we don’t shy away from, we start to educate ourselves about what others are thinking, feeling and doing. So I hope that you won’t read this book and keep it tucked away on your bookshelf (or e-reader); while you are more than welcome to do so, I hope you will introduce some part of what you’ve read into a conversation, take it off the page and into real life. You will very likely learn something, and that is a process that can easily snowball; there’s never an end, because it’s a lifelong process, one that I look forward to every day.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City

BDSM in fiction: Carrie's Story excerpt

I'm honored to be part of the blog tour for kinky erotic novel Carrie's Story: An Erotic S/M Novel by Molly Weatherfield, just re-released by Cleis Press.

Carrie's Story is regarded as one of the finest erotic novels ever written—smart, devastatingly sexy, and, at times, shocking. In this new era of "BDSM romance," à la Fifty Shades of Grey, the whips and cuffs are out of the closet and "château porn" has given way to mommy porn. Carrie's Story remains at the head of the class. Imagine The Story of O starring a Berkeley Ph.D. in comparative literature who moonlights as a bike messenger, has a penchant for irony, and loves self-analysis as much as anal pleasures. Set in both San Francisco and the more château-friendly Napa Valley, Weatherfield's deliciously decadent novel takes you on a sexually-explicit journey into a netherworld of slave auctions, training regimes, and enticing "ponies" (people) preening for dressage competitions. Desire runs rampant in this story of uncompromising mastery and irrevocable submission.

Molly Weatherfield, the pen name of Pam Rosenthal, is also the author of Safe Word, the sequel to Carrie's Story. A prolific romance and erotica writer, she has penned many sexy, literate, historical novels. She lives in San Francisco.

You can find Molly on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/MollyWeatherfield and on Twitter at @PamRosenthal.



Here's an excerpt:

“I’m sure,” she began, “that it’s not really necessary to point out that ‘reading you your rights’ is just a little joke we have around here, a private name for the lecture I’m about to deliver. Because if you think you have any rights around here, somebody has made a terrible mistake. But you seem to understand what’s going on. So…”

She paused for a moment and then continued. “Now,” she said, “I’ve been calling you by name, because that’s what you’re used to, and it was easiest to process you in that way. But you’re completely entered into our system now, and for most of our personal interactions, you won’t really need a name. ‘Slave’ is quite adequate and a good deal more accurate. This is a warehouse, a processing center, and also a display center. We take care of all you little packages of merchandise that will be auctioned off this Friday. We take excellent care of the flesh—some of you are ridiculously expensive—we package and display you to make sure you are appealing to buyers. But we also have a more subtle responsibility— to the spirit, which demands abuse and contempt.

“For what we understand is that although most of you think of yourselves as slaves, you really have not the faintest notion of the concept. You, for example, have served one man for a year. Oh, I know you’ve participated in little entertainments he arranged, but they’ve been trivial. And you did the pony thing, which is certainly good experience, but limited. Essentially, you had a lover, a boyfriend(she said the word contemptuously), not a master, however he chose to superintend your activities. He organized his life around you every bit as much as he commanded you to organize yours around his. We don’t consider that kind of situation an exercise of your capacity for obedience.

“Now, you’ll only be here five days, but we think you’ll find them instructive. You will find, in any case, that nobody here is particularly interested in you, in your little quirks of personality or individuality. We value you—all of you—as rather unique commodities that will be sold for a lot of money. Our job is to pass you through our very well-designed system. It’s our system that’s your master, and all of us who administer it are your masters and mistresses.

“This means Paul and I, of course, but it also means Karl over there, and all the people on our payroll—cooks, security guards, garbage men, and so forth. You will address us all as Master or Mistress, when you address us at all. We will indicate when you may speak—be careful to understand our wishes. And keep your body as open and displayed as possible. I like the way your arched back offers your breasts to me, but your legs are too close together, your pubis too hidden. That’s better. Now keep your chin up, but lower your eyes. You’re not allowed to look us in the face. If it helps you to discipline your gaze, remember to concentrate on the whip we all carry at our belts. When possible, your hands will be bound, but when they are not, you must remember not to touch yourself. That’s all. We’ll take care of you completely during your brief stay here. You’ll hear the details as you need to hear them. Well, what do you say, slave?”

“Yes, Mistress,” I managed. “Thank you, Mistress.”

She rose. “I’m giving you back to your Master Karl now. He’ll get you to bed. And Paul and I will see you tomorrow for your whipping, your photograph, and your punishment.”

“Thank you, Mistress,” I repeated. Paul prodded my hip with one of his Dr. Martens, and I found myself saying, “Thank you, Master,” in his general direction as well.

Then they left me on my knees there, looking meekly at the floor. I was tired. It had been a long day. I couldn’t quite focus my understanding on everything Margot had said, but I knew that these next days would be different than anything I’d known thus far. I felt lost, really. I was frightened, and, I realized, obscurely thrilled that something really new was beginning to happen. I wanted to lose myself some more, dive into the swirling, vertiginous feeling she had created, but just then I realized that Master Karl was standing over me.

Great. An oafish teenage master. About the least attractive person who’d ever been thrown my way. I mean, I knew that was the point, but I was tired, damn it. I don’t think he knew much English, but I guess he’d mastered what he needed to know.

“Lick my boots,” he managed, and I muttered, “Yes, Master,” and did. I could hear him moaning. He was really getting off on it, and I started to hope that his teenage boyness would get the better of him and he’d come in his pants. Because if he didn’t…

He didn’t. I was going to have to get behind this scene, I knew. He pulled me to my feet by the collar and bent me over the desk. I heard him unzip his fly, and I was afraid this was going to hurt terribly. Relax, I told myself, open up. You can do it…slave. I heard this last in Margot’s voice. Her lecture. I started to play it over in my head. It’s the system, I thought, the system is your master. He jammed his cock into my asshole, and I just kept thinking, the system, the system, the big, beautiful, well-designed system. And as Karl kept pumping away, I kept hearing Margot, and then I kept seeing her mouth, which I was glad I had gotten a look at before she told me I couldn’t look at her face. I was crying really hard, but I kept seeing her, her hips in the leather pants, her hands on the computer keys. She had, I thought, designed this hid- eous, awful, beautiful system. She had created all this pain and humiliation for me.

Karl cried out and collapsed on top of me. I could feel him shrinking within my raw, abused asshole, and I could feel various buttons and buckles of his pseudomilitary uniform biting into my back and legs. I wept and wept, but it was partly with relief that it was over. I’d gotten through it. But no way did I feel anything but outrage at being violated by this dim-witted creep, and no way was I ever going to feel any kind of respect or sexy abasement in front of him. It had been my sexy images of Margot that had gotten me through it. Margot and her system. I guess I’d cheated. Sue me.

Karl pulled me up and then pushed me to my knees. I was glad I didn’t have to look at his face to see the mulish satisfaction I knew I’d find there. He unhooked my hands so that I could put his cock back in and zip up his fly. Then he pulled me to my feet and pushed me in front of him. He opened a door and we walked down a corridor. A few doors down, he put his hand on my shoulder to stop me. Then he went into a little kitchen and came back a minute or so later with a glass of what looked like milk. It was. Warm milk, to help me sleep, I hoped, and I also hoped it was drugged. He pushed me on, through some more corridors, and we finally came to a room, all white, with a white iron bed in it. There was a ring embedded in the wall above the bed with a chain dangling from it. He nodded to the bed, and I lay down on my side. He pulled the chain through the ring in the front of the collar and loosely attached my cuffs to it as well. Then he covered me with a light blanket. I settled into a fairly comfortable position, dimly aware (the milk must have been drugged) that I was falling asleep in the same position that O did, her first night at Roissy, in the Guido Crepax illustration.

Blog Tour Schedule

March 24 - Shanna Germain

March 25 - Lelaini Loves Books

March 26 - Alison Tyler

March 27 - Romance After Dark

March 28 - Romance Junkies and Amos Lassen

March 29 - Sinclair Sexsmith

April 1 - Rachel Kramer Bussel

April 2 - Kissin Blue Karen

April 3 - Dana Wright

April 4 - Erin O'Riodan

April 5 - Lindsay Avalon

April 6 - Laura Antoniou

April 7 - DL King

Autographed copies of Best Sex Writing 2013 and Twice the Pleasure now available

Awesome independent bookstore WORD in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, now has autographed copies of Best Sex Writing 2013, my hot off the press anthology featuring Jonathan Lethem, Patrick Califia, guest judge Carol Queen, Madison Young and many others. You can also get an autographed copy of Best Sex Writing 2013 or Twice the Pleasure: Bisexual Women's Erotica directly from me (US only) by sending $14 via Paypal to rkbenterprises2012 at gmail.com and including your name and mailing address (if you want it autographed to someone other than you, just let me know). Thanks! Snapped last night at our WORD "Is Feminism Sexy?" panel:

I'm on the "Is Feminism Sexy?" panel tonight at WORD, Greenpoint, Brooklyn

Come join me and these wonderful panelists for "Is Feminism Sexy?" at one of my favorite bookstores, WORD, in Greenpoint, Brooklyn tonight, 126 Franklin Street, off the G train. It's my last Brooklyn event as a Brooklyn resident (awww...NJ better have some awesome bookstores!) and hot off the press copies of Best Sex Writing 2013 will be for sale. Learn more at The Sexy Feminist. Here's the official Facebook invite.

[Description] Sexy Feminism’s Jennifer Armstrong will be discussing what feminism means to young women today with erotica writer/editor Rachel Kramer Bussel, The Frisky blogger Julie Gerstein, SexyFeminist.com contributor Britt Gambino, and feminist media activist Jamia A. Wilson.

In Sexy Feminism, Jennifer Keishin Armstrong and Heather Wood Rudulph offer simple ways for busy, young women to improve every aspect of their own lives by following feminist principles. With dozens of ways to take action, Sexy Feminism explains how feminism helps women get what they want (and does not, contrary to many reports, ruin anyone’s chances at love, success, sex, beauty, or style). It guides young women toward finding their own brand of feminism and using it to improve their lives and the world.

My Best Bondage Erotica 2014 wishlist - deadline is Monday, April 1st

Both these anthologies have April 1st deadlines. Everything you should want to know is below but if after reading the guidelines you have a question, email the appropriate address (bestbondage2014 at gmail.com or shortsubmissionantho at gmail.com).

Update for Best Bondage Erotica 2014 (if you've already submitted and gotten a reply, I have your story and am considering it): Anything that fits the guidelines below goes, but I'm especially looking for creative/non-traditional bondage implements and settings and motivations/plotlines, female dominant/male submissive, male/male, female/female, non-binary gendered characters, stories featuring more than 2 people, and bondage combined with other acts of BDSM and/or sex acts. Hope that inspires some stories by Monday! And these are just suggestions. A sizzling hot story that grabs me from word one and wows me that isn't anything like what I've listed would also fit this series.

Please read the guidelines in full (pretty much the first rule of doing anything, writing or otherwise, but it needs to be stated because almost all the questions I get asked are right there in my guidelines). Looking forward to reading your stories! And like it says below, ONLY SEND ONE FINAL, EDITED VERSION OF YOUR STORY. I'd rather get the best/finished version later than an earlier version followed by umpteen iterations.

Call for Submissions
Best Bondage Erotica 2014
Best Bondage Erotica 2014 will collect the best bondage erotica stories around, focusing on a range of techniques, implements, characters and scenarios, from newbies to seasoned bondage players and everything in between. Bondage should be a central focus of the erotic element of the story but the plot does not have to hinge on bondage. The final book will include stories focused on both the physical and mental aspects of bondage, from varying points of view. Bondage plus other sexual activity is welcome (spanking, tickling, exhibitionism, voyeurism, intercourse, oral sex, teasing, etc.). Original, unique, creative characters, settings, scenarios and forms of bondage are encouraged. As befitting the title, I’m looking for the best, hottest, most creative bondage erotica for this collection. All genders/sexual orientations welcome. No poetry.

Original stories strongly preferred, but reprints of work published (or slated to be published) between September 2012 and November 2013 will be considered but will be given lower priority than original work and author MUST include original publication information and retain reprint rights. All characters must be over 18; no incest or bestiality. Please see Best Bondage Erotica 2011, 2012 and 2013 or my other kinky Cleis Press anthologies (Anything for You, Cheeky Spanking Stories, Bottoms Up, Spanked, Yes, Sir, Yes, Ma’am, He’s on Top, She’s on Top) for an idea of the kinds of stories I prefer. I will consider up to two stories per author.

How to submit: Send double spaced Times or Times New Roman 12 point black font Word document with pages numbered (.doc, not .docx) OR RTF of 1,500-4,000 word story. Indent the first line of each paragraph half an inch and double space (regular double spacing, do not add extra lines between paragraphs or do any other irregular spacing). US grammar (double quotation marks around dialogue, etc.) required. Only submit your final, best version of the story you are submitting. Do not send multiple versions of the same story. Include your legal name (and pseudonym if applicable), mailing address, and 50 word or less bio in the third person to bestbondage2014@gmail.com. If you are using a pseudonym, please provide your real name as well as your pseudonym and make it clear which one you’d like to be credited as. You will receive a confirmation within 72 hours. I will get back to you by September 2013. I cannot give any feedback on rejected submissions.

Payment: $50 and 2 copies of the book on publication

Deadline: April 1, 2013 (earlier submissions strongly encouraged)

I’ve been seeing numerous recent submissions that do not conform to my guidelines. They are there for a reason. Please read and follow them. If you have any questions, please contact me at bestbondage2014 at gmail.com



Short Short BDSM Submission Erotica Anthology (title TBA)
Editor: Rachel Kramer Bussel
Publisher: Cleis Press
Deadline: April 1, 2013 (earlier stories strongly preferred and encouraged)
Email address: shortsubmissionantho at gmail.com Payment: $20 and 1 copy of the book on publication

To get a feel for the types of BDSM stories I'm looking for, see my books with a submissive POV such as Please, Sir; Yes, Sir; Please, Ma'am and Yes, Ma'am. For me the biggest challenge with editing 69 stories around a single topic is diversity in all sense of the word, so give me a range of characters, POVs (I welcome first, second and third person stories), settings, scenarios, motivations, experience levels, motivations, BDSM practices (which can be combined with other sexual acts), fetishes, couplings, relationships (yes, repeating this from the guidelines below, but it's the thing that makes or breaks a book like this, in my opinion, and as an editor I love having 3 times the room as I normally would in a given anthology to publish more authors and provide more of a range of storytelling and scenarios). This will be my third time working with such a large number of authors; I'm thrilled with how beautiful a book Gotta Have It: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex is, inside and outside, and the next one, about orgasms, will be out later this year. So whether you read Fifty Shades of Grey and were inspired to write your own submissive hero or heroine or couple or other permutation or are an old hat at erotica, I look forward to reading your stories. This is also an excellent opportunity for new authors (new to erotica and/or my books) to try their hand at erotica, since I have space for 69 stories. Looking forward to reading! READ AND FOLLOW THE GUIDELINES. That is the first and, dare I say, very best way to get your story included in any of my books! For those new to erotica, I strongly encourage you to submit to this anthology if it seems up your alley. Questions? Email shortsubmissionantho at gmail.com after you've read the guidelines!

Please make sure to read and follow these guidelines in order for your work to be considered. Editor Rachel Kramer Bussel is looking for short short stories of 1,200 words or less focused on the theme of BDSM from a submissive perspective. While the word count is short, I want complex stories with a beginning, middle and end, not simply scene snippets. I will consider stories from a dominant's perspective if that is the best way to illuminate the mindset of the submissive. The final book of 69 stories will contain an extremely wide variety of characters, POVs (I welcome first, second and third person stories), settings, scenarios, motivations, experience levels, motivations, BDSM practices (which can be combined with other sexual acts), fetishes, couplings, relationships, etc. All genders and sexual orientations welcome. All characters must be over 18; no nonconsensual activity, scat, incest or bestiality. No poetry. Original, unpublished stories only. Stories from authors I have not published before are especially welcome. See my books Please, Sir; Yes, Sir; Please, Ma'am and Yes, Ma'am to get a feel for the types of submissive stories I enjoy. See Gotta Have It: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex for examples of 1,200 word or less erotic stories.

How to submit: Send double spaced Times or Times New Roman 12 point black font Word document (.doc or .docx) with pages numbered OR RTF of 1,200 words MAXIMUM to shortsubmissionantho at gmail.com. DO NOT submit multiple versions of your story; submit ONLY your final, complete, edited version of the story. Note that this is a hard maximum. Stories that are not in keeping with the theme of the anthology or are over 1,200 words will not be considered. Indent the first line of each paragraph half an inch and double space (regular double spacing, do not add extra lines between paragraphs or do any other irregular spacing). US grammar (double quotation marks around dialogue, etc.) required. I will consider a maximum of TWO stories per author. Include your legal name (and pseudonym if applicable), mailing address. If you are using a pseudonym, please provide your real name and pseudonym and make it clear which one you’d like to be credited as. You will receive a confirmation within 72 hours. I will get back to you by September 2013.

Payment: $20 and 1 copy of the book on publication in 2014

Deadline: April 1, 2013 (earlier submissions encouraged and preferred)

Buy one get one free ebook offer extended through Monday March 25th at 11:59 pm EST

I decided to extend this offer through Monday night. 2 books for the price of one! I'm having another buy one, get one free ebook sale, since the first one with Serving Him went so well! Here's the deal: From midnight on Friday, March 22nd through 11:59 pm EST Monday March 25th, if you buy the Kindle ebook edition or Nook ebook edition of Twice the Pleasure: Bisexual Women's Erotica, I will send you any of my Kindle or Nook ebooks listed in this paragraph FREE, which includes the just-released ebook of Best Sex Writing 2013, featuring writers like Jonathan Lethem, guest judge Carol Queen, Patrick Califia, Amber Dawn, Madison Young and many others (more about that very soon). You tell me which one, I send it to you as a gift. What you need to do: Forward me your receipt with "BOGO" in the subject line for your purchase of the Nook or Kindle edition of Twice the Pleasure made between midnight March 22nd and 11:59 p.m. March 25th by 9 am EST Tuesday, March 26th and tell me these 3 things: which ebook you want, which format (Kindle or Nook), and what email address to send to (for Kindle, I cannot use an @kindle.com address to gift an ebook). Then I send it to you. I'd love it if you'd spread the word and if there's a book of mine you've been wanting to read, now you can get 2 for $9.99 (Kindle) or $10.68 (Nook) - no, I don't have a thing to do with ebook or online sales pricing. This greatly helps visibility with online stores, especially on Amazon as it can help get the book on their bestseller lists. If this goes well, I plan to do more BOGO ebook sales! Book pick options: Anything for You: Erotica for Kinky Couples, Serving Him: Sexy Stories of Submission, Instruments of Pleasure: Sex Toy Erotica, Caught Looking, Crossdressing, He's on Top, She's on Top, Yes, Sir, Yes, Ma'am, Please, Sir, Please, Ma'am, Rubber Sex, Spanked, Bottoms Up, Cheeky Spanking Stories, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, Going Down, Do Not Disturb, Suite Encounters, The Mile High Club, Peep Show, Fast Girls, Orgasmic, Smooth, Passion, Irresistible, Gotta Have It; 69 Stories of Sudden Sex, Surrender, Obsessed, Women in Lust, Hide and Seek Only You, Best Bondage Erotica 2001, Best Bondage Erotica 2012, Best Bondage Erotica 2013, Best Sex Writing 2008, Best Sex Writing 2009, Best Sex Writing 2010, Best Sex Writing 2012, Best Sex Writing 2013.



Introduction: Hot Bi Babes: A Both/And Approach to Bisexuality

1 Percent Adaptable Nicole Wolfe
The Wife Kay Jaybee
Operetta Jean Roberta
Lifeline Emerald
Goa Dena Hankins
The Robber Girl Lori Selke
The Adulterers Penelope Friday
Sunset Logan Belle
Break Cheryl B.
In the Mirror Valerie Alexander
Glitter in the Gutter Giselle Renarde
Seduction Dance Dorothy Freed
A Little Fun Rachel Kramer Bussel
Trinity Jordana Winters
Meeting at the Hole in the Wall Aimee Pearl
The State Tahira Iqbal
Strange Status Quo Salome Wilde
Walking the Walk Shanna Germain
ReGretable Circumstances Lane
Right-Red Flagging Sinclair Sexsmith
Page of Wands Cheyenne Blue
What I Want, What I Need Jacqueline Applebee

Introduction: Hot Bi Babes: A Both/And Approach to Bisexuality

Woody Allen once famously said, “Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.” As a bisexual woman, I can attest that this is not necessarily true. Bisexuality is more than just a math equation and cannot be so easily categorized or summarized. Identifying as bi, or being attracted to or engaging in sex with a variety of genders, or whatever version of something approximating those states of being , is the theme of this anthology, and in many ways, the term is actually a lot broader than that dual opportunity. This is not a book about choosing either/or, male or female, or simply one of each. It’s not about narrowing gender down to one size fits all, but about expanding our options, to a both/and approach to how we view and cultivate our sexuality. It’s a welcoming, inclusive definition that welcomes all comers—pun fully intended.

I wanted this book, while fictional and focused on the erotic aspects of bisexual women’s lives, to explore as wide a swatch of “bisexual” as possible. That means that some of the best stories here don’t mention the word bisexual at all; they don’t have to, because their bi angle, their queerness, is embedded—and bedded—in the story. The characters are living it, rather than identifying with it; the sexual exploration and attraction, the experience and movement, are more important than what anyone wants to call it.

The large majority of the submissions I received for this book were about women having sex with women, which makes sense in the context of a culture that still privileges heterosexual identity over any other kind. Even in an era of so-called lesbian and bisexual chic, there’s still plenty of discomfort with the fluidity with which many women view their sexuality. Shifting away from a purely heterosexual mindset forces women to grapple with the ways we differ from mainstream society, even one that is becoming much more open and knowledgeable about the varieties of queer life. The first time we dare to dip our toes—or other body parts—into the world of sex with other women is often momentous. Many of us will find the character of Laura, in Nicole Wolfe’s opening story, “1 Percent Adaptable,” familiar. Laura at first protests Marie’s advances, warning her that she’s not gay, not bi, until she listens to her body and follows its yearnings. “Laura was shocked that the kiss had surprised her, considering what had just happened between her legs. She let her lips caress Marie’s. She dared to let her tongue out to play. She risked letting her hands tickle Marie’s hips and backside,” Wolfe writes.

But I didn’t want this to simply be a first-time bi-curious tentative collection, but a robust one exploring the intimacy of life as a woman interested in men and women. That’s why I wanted stories that asked questions like the ones in Jacqueline Applebee’s closing tale, “What I Want, What I Need:” “I’d been out as a lesbian since I was twenty-three. Why was I suddenly spending time with a straight man? Why was I enjoying it so much? Had I really been a lesbian at all, or had I been lying to myself for the past twenty years?”

There are girlfriends and wives, husbands and boyfriends, first dates, threesomes and much more here. There’s daring and adventure, women taking risks by stepping outside their comfort zones, whether it’s by surrendering to a bodyguard in “The State,” by Tahira Iqbal, or confronting “The Wife” of a male lover in Kay Jaybee’s story, only to be confronted right back. The women you’ll read about are attracted to strong women like “The Robber Girl” in Lori Selke’s story, and men who surprise them with their sensitivity, as in my story, “A Little Fun.”

There’s also kink, if that’s what you’re looking for. In Cheryl B.’s “The Break,” spanking becomes a way for two exes to reconnect and revive the passion between them, while Sinclair Sexsmith takes us inside a gay bar and then home with a boy her protagonist has met there, one who may or may not know her true gender, in “Right-Red Flagging.” The protagonist of “Seduction Dance” is under the watchful eye of her master when she finds a new female plaything for her to command and seduce. Gender is played with, fucked with, and grappled with as well in Giselle Renarde’s “Glitter in the Gutter,” in which the female partner of a male cross-dresser encourages his interest when he fears he’s crossed a line and doesn’t want to live in the new, judgmental world he’s stepped into. Aimee Pearl writes in “Meeting at the Hole in the Wall, “Chivalry is dead, and I want to writhe naked on its grave.”

These are celebratory, sexy stories, but, all apologies to Mr. Allen, they are more complex than a view of bisexuality simply as “twice as much” to offer. I like to think of them as both/and stories that, collectively, offer a look at the ways bisexuality, queerness and lesbianism affect us while recognizing that there’s no monolithic typical bisexual. We are multifaceted, full of desires that can’t be contained in a single, simplistic category. We are hungry, horny, mischievous, naughty, provocative and, yes, curious. We may think we know what we want, only to keep on surprising ourselves just when we think we have it all figured out. We are open to a wide range of sexual possibilities, whether they exist in our heads or beyond.

I hope you’ll enjoy the twenty-two stories presented here, and that they serve as erotic catalysts, no matter how you identify.

Rachel Kramer Bussel

New York City

Bloggers wanted for Best Sex Writing 2013 virtual book tour

Want a free copy of Best Sex Writing 2013 and to join the conversation about sexuality and culture? Sign up to be part of the virtual book tour. Your blog can be about anything, as long as you agree to post on your assigned date about the book. You'll get a copy (print or ebook) and I'll link back to you. Interested? Email bestsexwriting2013 at gmail.com with "Tour" in the subject line and your URL and name and mailing address (for print copy) or that you want an ebook copy and Cleis Press will be in touch about your date and posting instructions. For those who just want to read the book, it's for sale right now on Kindle and Nook and will be in print very soon.



Foreword Carol Queen
Introduction: A Different Kind of Sexual Education

Live Nude Models Jonathan Lethem
Can a Better Vibrator Inspire an Age of Great American Sex? Andy Isaacson
Sex by Numbers Rachel Swan
Very Legal: Sex and Love in Retirement Alex Morris
Notes from a Unicorn Seth Fischer
Rest Stop Confidential Conner Habib
When on Fire Island… A Polyamorous Disaster Nicholas Garnett
Cherry Picking Julia Serano
Holy Fuck: The Fourth-and-Long Virgin Jon Pressick
Baby Talk Rachel Kramer Bussel
Dear John Lori Selke
Sex by Any Other Name Insiya Ansari
Enhancing Masochism Patrick Califia
Submissive: A Personal Manifesto Madison Young
Ghosts: All My Men Are Dead Carol Queen
Happy Hookers Melissa Gira Grant
Christian Conservatives vs. Sex: The Long War Over Reproductive Freedom Rob Boston
Porn Defends the Money Shot Dennis Romero
Lost Boys Kristen Hinman
The Original Blonde Neal Gabler

Introduction: A Different Kind of Sexual Education

As editor of the Best Sex Writing series, and a writer about sex in both fiction and nonfiction forms, I’m privileged to hear from lots of people about sexuality, whether asking for advice or wanting to talk about the big issues of the day, whether that means attacks on birth control or Fifty Shades of Grey. The biggest thing I’ve learned, though, is pretty basic: we are all always learning. You can indeed get a PhD in sexology, like foreword author and contributor Carol Queen did, but that doesn’t mean you simply give up and assume you know everything about the wide world of sexuality and sexual variation. You can’t; it’s impossible.

Part of why sex writing is so vital is because we all have things to learn—about ourselves, and about others. While this book will not teach you how to have sex, you will learn about what motivates others in their sexual desires, whether to engage in multiple relationships, perform sex work, come out as bisexual, build increasingly advanced vibrators, or more.

I think it’s safe to say that whether this is the first book about sex you’ve ever read or the thousandth, you will learn something about what makes people tick, about sexual desire and sexual community. The latter is as important to me as the former, because it’s within the community of sex writers, educators and activists that I’ve carved out a place for myself as a bisexual, feminist, kinky sex writer. Lori Selke writes in her open letter, “Dear John,” about feeling disillusioned by the judgments being passed around her local leather community. “See, my kinky leather identity grew firmly out of my queerness and my feminism. All three of those elements are important and in some ways inseparable. It’s important to me to pursue the sort of social justice that ensures that our consensual relationships are someday entered into from a place of roughly equal societal power. Without that aim, we’re simply perpetuating oppression.” I suspect many people aren’t aware of just how committed to their ideals those in the kink and leather communities are. To assume it’s all about whips, chains, bondage and spanking is to miss the point—of course it’s about those things, but it’s also about much more.

The educational lessons here are often much more personal. When Conner Habib opens his essay “Rest Stop Confidential” with, “I was fifteen the first time I found out that men have sex in public,” I must admit that, at thirty-seven, I have only seen men having sex in public at parties specifically designed for sex. The first of many firsts Julia Serano details in “Cherry Picking” begins, “The first time I learned about sex was in fifth grade.” We are all both capable of learning more, and impacted by what we did—or didn’t—learn about sex at a young age.

Some of what you’re about to read is sad or scary or disheartening; I cannot promise you a book of shiny happy sex bouncing off every page, because that is not the world we live in. There are laws to fight against, AIDS plaguing the gay community, internalized oppression, questions that may have no answers, or multiple answers. I didn’t select these essays and articles because they purport to have all the answers.

Last year’s guest judge, the noted sexual commentator Susie Bright, when asked about The Guardian’s Bad Sex award, responded, “There is no art without sex.” I think the same could be said for the news; sex is not a topic squirreled away on the back page of the paper; it’s on the front page, in the sports section, the business section, the editorials. It’s covered in fashion magazines and newsweeklies. In Best Sex Writing 2013, hot topics include New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow’s virginity and the laws governing condom use in porn.

Sex education remains at the forefront of the news and continues to be “controversial,” though, like birth control, another political battleground of late in the United States, I would think it would be a no-brainer. Yet I can still read articles like one in Time about the Mississippi county, Tunica, with the highest teen pregnancy that is only recently getting on board with sex ed, via a law mandating it do so. “During the four years Ashley McKay attended Rosa Fort High School in Tunica, Miss., her sex education consisted mainly of an instructor listing different sexually transmitted diseases. ‘There was no curriculum,’ she says. ‘The teacher, an older gentleman who was also the football coach, would tell us, “If you get AIDS, you’re gonna die. Pick out your casket, because you’re gonna die.”’”

We should not be reading articles like this any longer, but we are, and it’s not just youths who are in dire need of sex education. Just today, I received an email from an acquaintance asking if I could chat because, “I have found a wonderful woman with whom i have begun to explore areas of my sexuality i really have never followed through on or even verbally fantasized about.” He has questions. So do many people, but they don’t know where to turn.

This book doesn’t purport to have all the answers, and is likely to raise many discussions and propose multiple answers to questions about open relationships, prostitution, sexual orientation and other topics. It cannot take the place of talking about sex—with your lovers, friends, parents, children, neighbors and coworkers. Those shouldn’t be the same conversations, but they can exist, and by making sex a topic we don’t shy away from, we start to educate ourselves about what others are thinking, feeling and doing. So I hope that you won’t read this book and keep it tucked away on your bookshelf (or e-reader); while you are more than welcome to do so, I hope you will introduce some part of what you’ve read into a conversation, take it off the page and into real life. You will very likely learn something, and that is a process that can easily snowball; there’s never an end, because it’s a lifelong process, one that I look forward to every day.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City