Steven Harper's Blog, page 73
October 17, 2017
New Doctor
Half my blogs seem to be about health...
I saw a new doctor today. Dr. S--- replaces Dr. J---, who gave me a prescription that creates kidney stones in people prone to them. Dr. S--- and his staff gave me a thorough going over that included an extensive back-and-forth interview in his office. Unlike my previous doctor, Dr. S---'s communication was careful and extensive.
So we'll stay with this practice.
comments
I saw a new doctor today. Dr. S--- replaces Dr. J---, who gave me a prescription that creates kidney stones in people prone to them. Dr. S--- and his staff gave me a thorough going over that included an extensive back-and-forth interview in his office. Unlike my previous doctor, Dr. S---'s communication was careful and extensive.
So we'll stay with this practice.
comments
October 16, 2017
Mom and Me
Today my mother called just as I was looking for my phone to call her. Weird. We talked about her recent trip to Boston and other places on the northeast coast, and we talked about my difficulties with the hospital.
My mother is a retired nurse and is very wise in the way of hospitals. She pointed out a number of motivations to some of the hospital's actions, and was shocked when I said the hospital tried to put me on Heparin, which is a blood thinner administered to prevent blood clots.
"Were you on bed rest?" she asked. "Were you told not to get out of bed at all? Were you barred from walking around the room?"
To each of these, I said, "No."
"You weren't at risk for blood clots," she said. "They shouldn't have been giving you Heparin for two and a half days when you were getting up and walking anyway."
I'm looking for other health care options now, thanks to my mother.
comments
My mother is a retired nurse and is very wise in the way of hospitals. She pointed out a number of motivations to some of the hospital's actions, and was shocked when I said the hospital tried to put me on Heparin, which is a blood thinner administered to prevent blood clots.
"Were you on bed rest?" she asked. "Were you told not to get out of bed at all? Were you barred from walking around the room?"
To each of these, I said, "No."
"You weren't at risk for blood clots," she said. "They shouldn't have been giving you Heparin for two and a half days when you were getting up and walking anyway."
I'm looking for other health care options now, thanks to my mother.
comments
My Heart! My Heart!
Hmmm...last night my Fitbit reported that my heart rate went down to 38. I checked the other data. The previous night it went down to 42. The night before that, 40. In fact, every night I've worn the sensor to bed, it reports my heart rate dropping into the low 40s between about 3 and 6 AM (when I get up). Should I be worried?
When I was in the hospital and they administered morphine, my heart rate dropped into the 40s. The hospital freaked out and put me on a heart monitor for three days and conducted endless tests on my heart, to which the cardiologist said everything was perfectly normal. (Did my heart rate drop that low when I was in the hospital? If it did, no one burst into my room to wake me up.) But my medical records from that day diagnose me with an "abnormal electrocardiogram" with a numerical code for "short QT syndrome."
I'm in the processing of dumping my current GP, the one who put me on the prescription that gave kidney stones, and I'm seeing my new GP for the first time tomorrow. I'll definitely bring this up with him. And I have to call the cardiologist.
comments
October 15, 2017
Oatmeal and Applesauce
I eat a lot of oatmeal. Real oatmeal, not instant. It's easy to make:
1/2 cup oatmeal (regular, not quick oats or instant)
1 cup water
pinch of salt
a spoonful of brown sugar (I use Splenda's brown sugar substitute and don't notice a difference)
a splash of milk
Put first three ingredients into a bowl twice as large as a cereal bowl. Microwave on HIGH for two minutes. (The mixture will boil and puff up temporarily, which is why you need a bigger bowl.) Remove from microwave. Bowl will be hot! Stir in last two ingredients. You can also add cinnamon, nutmeg, dried fruit, or fresh fruit. Serve.
Today, I noticed the home made cinnamon applesauce in the fridge. It came out smooth, with almost a creamy texture, and it's wonderful. I added a couple spoonfuls to my oatmeal. Fantastic!
I'm flying in the face of the food industry with this recipe. The food industry has successfully worked to convince Americans that food preparation is onerous, difficult, and overly time-consuming. To this problem, they have the solution--instant foods! Heat and serve! Easy, easy, easy! Fast, fast, fast! You can't cook. We'll cook for you!
Instant oatmeal is a prime example. At my grocery store, entire shelves are dedicated to various flavors of instant oatmeal, while the canisters of regular oatmeal are banished to the bottom shelf that few people check. Oatmeal is too hard! Buy instant! Just add hot water, stir, and eat! Give you kids a hot breakfast in plenty of time!
Never mind that all the fiber has been milled out of instant oatmeal, and it's loaded with sugar as well.
Also, in the "old" days, one of the virtues of oatmeal was how easy and fast it was to make. You just add one part oatmeal to two parts lightly-salted, boiling water, let it cook for a minute or two, and you had a meal. You could add any flavoring you liked--sugar, fruit, even bacon. In Europe, they eat it with salt and butter--toast you eat with a spoon. It was the go-to food when you needed a meal quickly, or you burned dinner, or had unexpected company.
Even compared to instant, regular oatmeal is easy and fast to make in a microwave. Hell, the amount of time it takes to heat up the water for instant is about the same as it takes to make the above recipe. And regular oatmeal is high in fiber and low in fat. It's even gluten-free, if you need it.
Making oatmeal is easy. Avoiding the food industry is hard.
comments
1/2 cup oatmeal (regular, not quick oats or instant)
1 cup water
pinch of salt
a spoonful of brown sugar (I use Splenda's brown sugar substitute and don't notice a difference)
a splash of milk
Put first three ingredients into a bowl twice as large as a cereal bowl. Microwave on HIGH for two minutes. (The mixture will boil and puff up temporarily, which is why you need a bigger bowl.) Remove from microwave. Bowl will be hot! Stir in last two ingredients. You can also add cinnamon, nutmeg, dried fruit, or fresh fruit. Serve.
Today, I noticed the home made cinnamon applesauce in the fridge. It came out smooth, with almost a creamy texture, and it's wonderful. I added a couple spoonfuls to my oatmeal. Fantastic!
I'm flying in the face of the food industry with this recipe. The food industry has successfully worked to convince Americans that food preparation is onerous, difficult, and overly time-consuming. To this problem, they have the solution--instant foods! Heat and serve! Easy, easy, easy! Fast, fast, fast! You can't cook. We'll cook for you!
Instant oatmeal is a prime example. At my grocery store, entire shelves are dedicated to various flavors of instant oatmeal, while the canisters of regular oatmeal are banished to the bottom shelf that few people check. Oatmeal is too hard! Buy instant! Just add hot water, stir, and eat! Give you kids a hot breakfast in plenty of time!
Never mind that all the fiber has been milled out of instant oatmeal, and it's loaded with sugar as well.
Also, in the "old" days, one of the virtues of oatmeal was how easy and fast it was to make. You just add one part oatmeal to two parts lightly-salted, boiling water, let it cook for a minute or two, and you had a meal. You could add any flavoring you liked--sugar, fruit, even bacon. In Europe, they eat it with salt and butter--toast you eat with a spoon. It was the go-to food when you needed a meal quickly, or you burned dinner, or had unexpected company.
Even compared to instant, regular oatmeal is easy and fast to make in a microwave. Hell, the amount of time it takes to heat up the water for instant is about the same as it takes to make the above recipe. And regular oatmeal is high in fiber and low in fat. It's even gluten-free, if you need it.
Making oatmeal is easy. Avoiding the food industry is hard.
comments
October 14, 2017
More Running Away
Friday, Darwin is leaving for a conference. He'll be gone for a week. This is the longest we've been apart since we got married. (The second-longest was when I stayed in the hospital for three days.) Neither of us is looking forward to this aspect of his trip.
However, I decided to take advantage. Max will be at his mother's the weekend Darwin leaves, so I can take a trip, too. A change of scene might help buck the depression. But where to go? After some consideration, I settled on Chicago. It's close enough to drive (making the travel cheaper), I know the city a little, and there's lots to do.
I can also do exactly what I want to do, eat where I want to eat, see what I want to see, without worrying about anyone else's wants or needs. I can be self-centered for a few days.
I scared up a place to stay on AirBnB, which is still cheaper than a hotel. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to do. I always like to have an idea of what I'm going to see and do, though I also build flexibility into my schedule. Any ideas, folks? The Willis (Sears) Tower might be fun again, and I always like the aquarium and the boardwalk, but what else?
And I'm taking my bike. I have a bike rack on the car, and with a bike, I can park the vehicle and not worry about finding a new spot. Chicago traffic being what it is, biking will be faster than walking in a lot of places. A perfect idea!
So I'm running away for a weekend.
comments
However, I decided to take advantage. Max will be at his mother's the weekend Darwin leaves, so I can take a trip, too. A change of scene might help buck the depression. But where to go? After some consideration, I settled on Chicago. It's close enough to drive (making the travel cheaper), I know the city a little, and there's lots to do.
I can also do exactly what I want to do, eat where I want to eat, see what I want to see, without worrying about anyone else's wants or needs. I can be self-centered for a few days.
I scared up a place to stay on AirBnB, which is still cheaper than a hotel. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to do. I always like to have an idea of what I'm going to see and do, though I also build flexibility into my schedule. Any ideas, folks? The Willis (Sears) Tower might be fun again, and I always like the aquarium and the boardwalk, but what else?
And I'm taking my bike. I have a bike rack on the car, and with a bike, I can park the vehicle and not worry about finding a new spot. Chicago traffic being what it is, biking will be faster than walking in a lot of places. A perfect idea!
So I'm running away for a weekend.
comments
Researching Purple
When we finish MAUS in English 12, we're moving on to THE COLOR PURPLE. I've never taught it before and was floundering over ways to approach the book. Part of the district curriculum requires seniors to compare three different versions of the same work. Previously, I'd taught TARTUFFE, and used the written play, a performance of it, and an updated modern-day version of the story. For PURPLE, I have the book and the movie. I just need a third. Several years ago, the BBC did a radio version of the book, which would have been perfect, but I can't find it anywhere. The BBC's web site doesn't make it available, and it's nowhere else to be found. I finally settled on using clips from the Broadway musical, which are widely available.
But how to approach teaching the actual literature?
Internet to the rescue! I found a set of study questions that beautifully divided the book into sections (very handy for reading assignments). I found another site that gave a number of excellent activities and even PowerPoint slides for introducing the novel. I'm using these as springboards.
I'll have to preview the book heavily. I can already see one set of my students, who are immature for their age, will have problems with the book, which is very explicit. But my other sections should handle it well. I'm looking forward to it. MAUS is already pushing their pre-conceptions of literature. PURPLE will do it further.
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But how to approach teaching the actual literature?
Internet to the rescue! I found a set of study questions that beautifully divided the book into sections (very handy for reading assignments). I found another site that gave a number of excellent activities and even PowerPoint slides for introducing the novel. I'm using these as springboards.
I'll have to preview the book heavily. I can already see one set of my students, who are immature for their age, will have problems with the book, which is very explicit. But my other sections should handle it well. I'm looking forward to it. MAUS is already pushing their pre-conceptions of literature. PURPLE will do it further.
comments
The Dead Sea Cookies
I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies a while ago. But in the oven, they flattened and spread, pressing up against each other and creating flat squares instead of round, puffy cookies. I was mystified. The butter was cool. I'd added enough leavening. The only thing I could think of was that maybe I'd miscounted cups when adding the flour.
I was going to throw them out when Darwin happened by. "Those look great!" he said.
"These are dead," I said. "Dead Sea Cookies. I'm going to toss them."
"Don't do that! I like them that way!"
Er . . . okay. I pried them off the silicone sheet, let them cool, and put them in the cookie jar. Darwin has been munching on them all week.
There's no accounting for taste!
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I was going to throw them out when Darwin happened by. "Those look great!" he said.
"These are dead," I said. "Dead Sea Cookies. I'm going to toss them."
"Don't do that! I like them that way!"
Er . . . okay. I pried them off the silicone sheet, let them cool, and put them in the cookie jar. Darwin has been munching on them all week.
There's no accounting for taste!
comments
Running Away
I'm running faster these days. My treadmill has a speed scale of 1 to 10, and while I don't know how fast 10 is, I know it's faster than I can handle for more than a couple seconds. Usually I start out walking at 3.5 for a couple minutes, then speed up to 5 over the course of another couple minutes, then go faster until I hit 5.8 or 6.
But lately I've been rushing past 5 and into 6, finishing at 6.7 or even 7. I'm flying! Yesterday, I got up to 7.5 and pushed up to 8 for a minute or two before cooling down.
I'm trying to outrun the trauma. I hope it'll work, eventually. It's certainly helping my physical health.
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But lately I've been rushing past 5 and into 6, finishing at 6.7 or even 7. I'm flying! Yesterday, I got up to 7.5 and pushed up to 8 for a minute or two before cooling down.
I'm trying to outrun the trauma. I hope it'll work, eventually. It's certainly helping my physical health.
comments
Mental Health Update
Last week was all mountains and valleys. One moment I was fine. Hell, I was =great=. My weight went down below 200, and I celebrated. I was getting together lesson plans for teaching THE COLOR PURPLE (a new unit for me), and it was awesome. I went running in a warm rainstorm, and it was cool!
A few minutes later, the hospital visit would come crashing back down on me. Memories of the pain; the splayed, helpless posture; the gun=shaped instrument the doctor shoved into my urethra and waggled back and forth. I obsess over details, poring over medical statements and lab reports to glean clues about what happened to me while I was unconscious. I also discovered the cardiologist who ran a thousand tests on my heart and reported everything as completely normal, diagnosed me as having "an abnormal EKG," along with a hospital code for "short QT syndrome." Now I have to get hold of his office to find out what's going on.
After I completed the x-ray and the 24-hour urine sample (which I had to FedEx to the lab, a whole process by itself), I called the urologist's office. Did I still need to come in to get the other two stones removed? I realized I was secretly, deeply hoping the answer would be "no," that I had managed to pass the stones without noticing. I told myself this was extremely unlikely--the stones are four and five millimeters, not something that would exit easily or without pain. But I still hoped.
The receptionist said she would have to get hold of the doctor and call me back to answer.
I waited all day, trying not to obsess, and failing. By the next day, there was no call. Finally I called again. The receptionist--a different one--checked the computer and said that I did need to make an appointment for extracorporeal shock wave lithotripsy (ESWL). "The scheduling service will call you," she said.
"Will it require sedation?" I asked.
"Not full sedation," she said. "More like a twilight state."
And that was that. But I hadn't realized how much I'd been hoping everything was over until I hung up the phone and started to shake. The disappointment was enormous. More than anything, I didn't want to go back to that building for more anesthesia, more people poking and prodding and staring.
I'm going to press for Darwin to be in the room while the procedure takes place. It will make me feel better. He's agreed to it.
That evening at 5:15, I came up from the basement and discovered a voice mail from the urologist's office on my phone. They had called a few seconds ago. A pang went through me, but also hope. Maybe they were calling to say doctor had reviewed the x-ray and seen the stones were gone. I called back and got a recording that the office closed at 5:00, please call again later. Oh, I was upset. Why had they called me and left a message I couldn't return?
Again, I tried not to obsess all night and failed. I watched endless videos of ESWL procedures on YouTube, and couldn't make myself stop. The first thought I had when I woke up in the morning was of the procedure and images of me lying naked and semi-conscious on the table. Maybe I could get out of it!
The morning crawled by. Finally I got a chance to call the office. "Oh yes," the receptionist said, "the doctor ordered ESWL for you. The scheduling service will call later."
It was just crossed wires. The office hadn't made a note that I had called them the first time, so I was still on the list of people to get hold of.
A few hours later, the scheduling service called. I could come in November 3 or November 22, which is the day before Thanksgiving. Now, last year I went in for gall bladder surgery during Thanksgiving week. I had to go through a rigor-morale of bureaucratic crap--doctors notes, forms, emailed statements--to "prove" to the school district that I really was going in for surgery and not just skiving off during a holiday weekend. The surgery also left me bed-ridden and wiped out Thanksgiving. Not again. Also, I just wanted to get it over with. So November 3 it was.
The scheduler rattled off a long list of instructions--the surgeon's office would call the night before with an exact time, nothing to eat the night before (even though I wasn't being put fully under--pff!), no blood-thinning medications the week before, and so on. Then she hung up.
I shook again for several minutes. I can't seem to help that, either.
One small plus, I suppose. A different doctor will perform the ESWL, and it's a man. This makes me feel a little better. I know it shouldn't bother me that the urologist who did all the other procedures was a woman, but it does. I'm going to see about changing to him permanently after all this is over. The other urologist was perfectly nice, but the wiring in my head can't get passed the fact that she's a woman pulling and hauling and doing painful things to intimate parts of me, and it ties my stomach into writhing knots. That's just the way it is.
Writing this blog ties my stomach into knots, too. I'm pushing through it as a way to confront it. Will it work? Dunno. I process my world in words, so that's what I'm doing.
I keep trying to climb the mountains so I can enjoy being on the peak, even if it's only temporary. The problem is, I sabotage myself. I get to a high, and then think, "But this is only temporary. You're going to hurt in a minute. Watch this!" And my mind sends me another hospital image.
Working on it. Working on it.
comments
A few minutes later, the hospital visit would come crashing back down on me. Memories of the pain; the splayed, helpless posture; the gun=shaped instrument the doctor shoved into my urethra and waggled back and forth. I obsess over details, poring over medical statements and lab reports to glean clues about what happened to me while I was unconscious. I also discovered the cardiologist who ran a thousand tests on my heart and reported everything as completely normal, diagnosed me as having "an abnormal EKG," along with a hospital code for "short QT syndrome." Now I have to get hold of his office to find out what's going on.
After I completed the x-ray and the 24-hour urine sample (which I had to FedEx to the lab, a whole process by itself), I called the urologist's office. Did I still need to come in to get the other two stones removed? I realized I was secretly, deeply hoping the answer would be "no," that I had managed to pass the stones without noticing. I told myself this was extremely unlikely--the stones are four and five millimeters, not something that would exit easily or without pain. But I still hoped.
The receptionist said she would have to get hold of the doctor and call me back to answer.
I waited all day, trying not to obsess, and failing. By the next day, there was no call. Finally I called again. The receptionist--a different one--checked the computer and said that I did need to make an appointment for extracorporeal shock wave lithotripsy (ESWL). "The scheduling service will call you," she said.
"Will it require sedation?" I asked.
"Not full sedation," she said. "More like a twilight state."
And that was that. But I hadn't realized how much I'd been hoping everything was over until I hung up the phone and started to shake. The disappointment was enormous. More than anything, I didn't want to go back to that building for more anesthesia, more people poking and prodding and staring.
I'm going to press for Darwin to be in the room while the procedure takes place. It will make me feel better. He's agreed to it.
That evening at 5:15, I came up from the basement and discovered a voice mail from the urologist's office on my phone. They had called a few seconds ago. A pang went through me, but also hope. Maybe they were calling to say doctor had reviewed the x-ray and seen the stones were gone. I called back and got a recording that the office closed at 5:00, please call again later. Oh, I was upset. Why had they called me and left a message I couldn't return?
Again, I tried not to obsess all night and failed. I watched endless videos of ESWL procedures on YouTube, and couldn't make myself stop. The first thought I had when I woke up in the morning was of the procedure and images of me lying naked and semi-conscious on the table. Maybe I could get out of it!
The morning crawled by. Finally I got a chance to call the office. "Oh yes," the receptionist said, "the doctor ordered ESWL for you. The scheduling service will call later."
It was just crossed wires. The office hadn't made a note that I had called them the first time, so I was still on the list of people to get hold of.
A few hours later, the scheduling service called. I could come in November 3 or November 22, which is the day before Thanksgiving. Now, last year I went in for gall bladder surgery during Thanksgiving week. I had to go through a rigor-morale of bureaucratic crap--doctors notes, forms, emailed statements--to "prove" to the school district that I really was going in for surgery and not just skiving off during a holiday weekend. The surgery also left me bed-ridden and wiped out Thanksgiving. Not again. Also, I just wanted to get it over with. So November 3 it was.
The scheduler rattled off a long list of instructions--the surgeon's office would call the night before with an exact time, nothing to eat the night before (even though I wasn't being put fully under--pff!), no blood-thinning medications the week before, and so on. Then she hung up.
I shook again for several minutes. I can't seem to help that, either.
One small plus, I suppose. A different doctor will perform the ESWL, and it's a man. This makes me feel a little better. I know it shouldn't bother me that the urologist who did all the other procedures was a woman, but it does. I'm going to see about changing to him permanently after all this is over. The other urologist was perfectly nice, but the wiring in my head can't get passed the fact that she's a woman pulling and hauling and doing painful things to intimate parts of me, and it ties my stomach into writhing knots. That's just the way it is.
Writing this blog ties my stomach into knots, too. I'm pushing through it as a way to confront it. Will it work? Dunno. I process my world in words, so that's what I'm doing.
I keep trying to climb the mountains so I can enjoy being on the peak, even if it's only temporary. The problem is, I sabotage myself. I get to a high, and then think, "But this is only temporary. You're going to hurt in a minute. Watch this!" And my mind sends me another hospital image.
Working on it. Working on it.
comments
October 11, 2017
Running Update
Last week I started running again, for the first time since the Great Hospital Debacle.
The previous time I had surgery (November of last year), I couldn't run for about two months. I spent a lot of time sitting, which meant a gained weight, weight that I couldn't seem to shake even after I started running again. It was still with me when I had surgery again this year.
But after this latest trip to the hospital, I lost a chunk of weight because anxiety kept me from eating. I decided to take advantage of this and keep going. When the awful stent was removed and I could move without pain, I climbed back on the treadmill.
I wondered if I'd lost my previous fitness. You'll remember that my resting pulse rate is in the low 50s, which panicked the hospital into running a dozen tests on my heart and putting a pissant heart monitor on me for three days even after the tests came back normal. It was my punishment for all the running. But when you stop running, your fitness level tends to drop quickly.
For my first run, I told myself not to push. However, I found myself accelerating fairly quickly and almost reached my normal pace, which peaks at speed 6 out of 10 on my treadmill. (I have no idea how fast this is in MPH.)
I decided I was going to run more. My previous goal was to run at least four times per week, five whenever possible. I punched the goal up to running every day. So far, I've only missed one.
Now, two weeks after I started back up, I regularly push past speed 6 and peak at speed 6.5. Today, I hit 7. I want to do more of that. Running and staring at a TV show lets me escape the wyrms that chews my mind for a while. And I've lost eight pounds. My goal is to lose 10 more, then see if I want to keep going. I've found that I can focus on "lose 10 pounds for now" better than I can focus on "lose 20 pounds overall." So that's what I'm doing.
comments
The previous time I had surgery (November of last year), I couldn't run for about two months. I spent a lot of time sitting, which meant a gained weight, weight that I couldn't seem to shake even after I started running again. It was still with me when I had surgery again this year.
But after this latest trip to the hospital, I lost a chunk of weight because anxiety kept me from eating. I decided to take advantage of this and keep going. When the awful stent was removed and I could move without pain, I climbed back on the treadmill.
I wondered if I'd lost my previous fitness. You'll remember that my resting pulse rate is in the low 50s, which panicked the hospital into running a dozen tests on my heart and putting a pissant heart monitor on me for three days even after the tests came back normal. It was my punishment for all the running. But when you stop running, your fitness level tends to drop quickly.
For my first run, I told myself not to push. However, I found myself accelerating fairly quickly and almost reached my normal pace, which peaks at speed 6 out of 10 on my treadmill. (I have no idea how fast this is in MPH.)
I decided I was going to run more. My previous goal was to run at least four times per week, five whenever possible. I punched the goal up to running every day. So far, I've only missed one.
Now, two weeks after I started back up, I regularly push past speed 6 and peak at speed 6.5. Today, I hit 7. I want to do more of that. Running and staring at a TV show lets me escape the wyrms that chews my mind for a while. And I've lost eight pounds. My goal is to lose 10 more, then see if I want to keep going. I've found that I can focus on "lose 10 pounds for now" better than I can focus on "lose 20 pounds overall." So that's what I'm doing.
comments
