Steven Harper's Blog, page 33
November 24, 2021
The Giving Season
It's been a big year for giving.
Every year at this time, Nameless High School runs a gift drive. The school pairs with an elementary school that has a high incidence of students who receive free or reduced lunch. These students often have few or no Christmas presents. The young students make a list of things they need and things they want. The lists are then distributed to volunteer families at Nameless, and they buy presents. The student council delivers the presents with the help of UPS, and while the kids are out at recess, they set them up around the kids' desks. When the kids come in, they find a pile of presents waiting for them. It's a huge, huge event that always ends in hugs and emotional moments.
This year, Nameless decided to expand the program to include teachers and staff at the elementary school, and they wanted teachers and staff at Nameless to get presents.
I went down and selected a teacher from the list, though about it, and decided also to select a custodian. So we'd have two people. Darwin and I spent most of a Saturday afternoon shopping for them. The custodian's information said he rode his bike to work every day, but it's in bad shape and he'd like a new one. So we found one for him.
When I brought the presents into the student council's storage area, I checked the list and saw there were a whole lot of unclaimed staff and teachers. I consulted with Darwin and we decided we could take on a couple more. So we did--a tutor and the school librarian. I delivered those gifts this morning.
Meanwhile, a few days ago, Darwin and I were out having breakfast at a local diner. While we were waiting to be seated, a woman who was there with (I assume) her husband and grand-daughter was trying to pay her check, but her card wasn't going through. She was becoming more and more unhappy, and she was asking if there was a nearby ATM just as the greeter was showing us to our table.
"I feel bad about that lady," Darwin said.
"Yeah," I agreed. "She's in a tough spot. I don't think her card was being declined because there's a problem with it. I think she has less money than she thought or something."
"I'm going to go take care of it." He got up and left. A few minutes, he came back and reported that he had paid the woman's bill. She was in tears.
That's why I married him, folks.
comments
Every year at this time, Nameless High School runs a gift drive. The school pairs with an elementary school that has a high incidence of students who receive free or reduced lunch. These students often have few or no Christmas presents. The young students make a list of things they need and things they want. The lists are then distributed to volunteer families at Nameless, and they buy presents. The student council delivers the presents with the help of UPS, and while the kids are out at recess, they set them up around the kids' desks. When the kids come in, they find a pile of presents waiting for them. It's a huge, huge event that always ends in hugs and emotional moments.
This year, Nameless decided to expand the program to include teachers and staff at the elementary school, and they wanted teachers and staff at Nameless to get presents.
I went down and selected a teacher from the list, though about it, and decided also to select a custodian. So we'd have two people. Darwin and I spent most of a Saturday afternoon shopping for them. The custodian's information said he rode his bike to work every day, but it's in bad shape and he'd like a new one. So we found one for him.
When I brought the presents into the student council's storage area, I checked the list and saw there were a whole lot of unclaimed staff and teachers. I consulted with Darwin and we decided we could take on a couple more. So we did--a tutor and the school librarian. I delivered those gifts this morning.
Meanwhile, a few days ago, Darwin and I were out having breakfast at a local diner. While we were waiting to be seated, a woman who was there with (I assume) her husband and grand-daughter was trying to pay her check, but her card wasn't going through. She was becoming more and more unhappy, and she was asking if there was a nearby ATM just as the greeter was showing us to our table.
"I feel bad about that lady," Darwin said.
"Yeah," I agreed. "She's in a tough spot. I don't think her card was being declined because there's a problem with it. I think she has less money than she thought or something."
"I'm going to go take care of it." He got up and left. A few minutes, he came back and reported that he had paid the woman's bill. She was in tears.
That's why I married him, folks.
comments
November 11, 2021
Minor Exploration
Today I had a minor exploratory procedure done in the doctor's office that was nonetheless going to be a trigger, so I took a hit of Valium beforehand. I was wobbly and partially incoherent throughout, which was good because the doctor said, "This may sting a little," and we all know that when doctors say that, it's going to hurt like fuckfire. And it did. At least it was quick.
The procedure revealed a need for minor corrective surgery, which will be scheduled Real Soon Now.
Darwin and I stopped for tacos on the way home at a new (for us) taco place, and everything was wonderful.Now I'm home and half stoned still.
comments
The procedure revealed a need for minor corrective surgery, which will be scheduled Real Soon Now.
Darwin and I stopped for tacos on the way home at a new (for us) taco place, and everything was wonderful.Now I'm home and half stoned still.
comments
November 7, 2021
Weight Loss Side-Effect
Last Monday, I left my writers group meeting and stepped outside into a lovely 39-degree evening. I had my jacket and hat on, and the air was light and crisp. By the time I got to my car, one block up the street, the chill was biting me. By the time I got into my car, my teeth were chattering. It took me a long time to warm up.
The next day I was at my computer at home. I felt chilly, despite wearing a heavy sweatshirt, and I was getting chillier. I checked the thermostat. 71 degrees. I turned it up, and didn't feel warm until we hit 73.
What was wrong with me? I'm from MICHIGAN. When it hits 50 in April, we put on shorts! A 20-degree day in January is "pretty nice."
And then I realized--I've lost 30 pounds. I have a flat stomach for the first time since high school. That was some serious insulation, and it's gone. It's an . . . interesting side-effect of losing weight.
Our heating bills this winter are gonna take a leap!
comments
The next day I was at my computer at home. I felt chilly, despite wearing a heavy sweatshirt, and I was getting chillier. I checked the thermostat. 71 degrees. I turned it up, and didn't feel warm until we hit 73.
What was wrong with me? I'm from MICHIGAN. When it hits 50 in April, we put on shorts! A 20-degree day in January is "pretty nice."
And then I realized--I've lost 30 pounds. I have a flat stomach for the first time since high school. That was some serious insulation, and it's gone. It's an . . . interesting side-effect of losing weight.
Our heating bills this winter are gonna take a leap!
comments
November 6, 2021
The Eternals
The big deal about THE ETERNALS is that it's the first Marvel movie with a gay super-hero in it, one who is married, with a husband and son.
I really wanted to like it. I tried to like it. I couldn't.
(Light spoilers follow.)
The Eternals are a group of immortal super-beings, each with their own power--matter transmutation, super-speed, mind control, illusion, flight and strength, and so on. They were sent to Earth by another being, a Celestial, to stop monsters called Deviants from wiping out the human race.
The movie itself is unfortunately and deeply flawed. Like I said, I really wanted to like it, and I tried, but nothing really worked. At the beginning, we're dropped into an action sequence in the stone age. A Deviant kills a man in front of his son, and the boy doesn't even react. In fact, when the Deviants wipe out a big chunk of the village, no one really seems to mind much. The boy, who should have been frightened and traumatized, expressionlessly accepts the gift of a knife from one of the Eternals instead.
This set the tone for the rest of the movie.
The Eternals are outside humanity, supposed to be apart from it. And most of them are hard-bitten and even uncaring. Ikarus, the male lead, spends most of the movie stony-faced and rigid. He's in love with Sersi, but he never seems to take joy out of that. He doesn't seem to get joy out of anything, really. Sersi seems to feel the same way--their relationship is a burden, not a support, and she puts up with it because she feels she should, rather than out of any real romantic attraction. Sprite, the mischief-maker, also rarely cracks a smile, and uses her illusions for workaday heroics. We never see her get any =fun= out of her powers. Kingo, a blaster hero, seems to be the only one who likes what he's doing, but even he turns overly serious halfway through the show. The actors decided that immortality has hardened the characters and made them either less than or more than human. An interesting choice, but it means the characters feel remote, and I couldn't connect with them.
There was an attempt to humanize Sersi by giving her a human boyfriend, but it actually makes the problem worse. The boyfriend--whose name I'm forgetting--takes the news of Sersi's true identity with sarcastic resignation, the world-weary sigh of someone who's already seen super-heroes stop world-wrecking events. His low-key acceptance is, perhaps, different, but it's ultimately off-putting. He was a chance to inject some humanity in the show, and that chance was thrown away.
Director Chloe Zhao also seems to have little idea of how to pace a story. Just when the movie gets some momentum going and the tension builds nicely, she stops the story dead for long, long minutes so the characters can emote at each other. I found myself checking my watch, never a good sign. The time-hopping structure of the story (starting in the distant past, jumping back to the present, popping into the past again) makes this worse. It's hard to keep track of what's going on, and we have to put the present storyline on hold every time we're plopped back into the past again. It's another momentum-killing device.
And then we come to Phastos, the much-heralded First Gay Movie Super-Hero. He falls flat.
This isn't the fault of Henry Tyree, the actor who plays him. Tyree does a great job. It's the script and the director who fail the character. First, make no mistake, Phastos is a minor character. He's absent from most of the movie, in fact. After the first few scenes, the Eternals basically split up and scatter around the world. Later, Ikarus and Sersi travel around the world, trying to reunite them so they can fight a new threat. This could have been done quickly, much in the way Paul Neuman picks up grifters in THE STING. Instead, Zhao slowly, frustratingly takes. Her. Time. We have a long, long, LONG scene partway through the gathering process in which the characters gathered so far share a meal.
Guess who isn't there yet?
At LONG last, the characters get off their asses and look for Phastos. They find him in a suburb with, to the surprise of his fellow Eternals, a husband named Ben and their young son. We have a set of family-oriented scenes here that, I think, are meant to normalize a same-sex relationship, but the relationship itself is dry. Everything is too matter-of-fact. Like Sersi's boyfriend, Ben doesn't seem much affected by the revelation of Phastos's true identity, and when he learns Phastos needs to leave them to go fight evil, Ben sends him off with a smile and a quick, dry kiss of the sort you give your husband when he's going away for a two-day conference. There was no attempt whatsoever to show romance or, heaven forbid, passion. (And I have to point out that Sersi and Ikarus, our straight couple, get an extensive and passionate lovemaking scene.)
Later, after the Great Big Battle, the Eternals come back together, but do we get a scene in which Phastos is reunited with his husband and son? Do we see Ben and Phastos fling themselves into an embrace with thank-god-you're-okay-I-love-you-so-much? Do we seen Phastos's son leap into his arms shrieking "Daddy!"?
No, we don't. Instead, we blip to a farmhouse. Phastos is in a living room eating pizza. Ben is nowhere to be seen, and their son is in the kitchen, talking to another Eternal. Later, Ben pops in to deliver one line, and Phastos decides to rush into the kitchen, but not to talk to his son, whom he deliberately pushes aside, but to talk to his team-mate.
It drains all emotion from the scene.
This is doubly problematic in a movie that stutters and stammers because the plot gets interrupted for emotional emoting for emo emotions. Zhao is willing to sacrifice pacing so her straight people can emote at each other, but she won't do the same for her gay folk.
A few audience members did shout and clap during the kiss. I just shrugged. It could have been--should have been--much better.
It's abundantly clear Disney/Marvel is testing the waters. They decided we could have a gay man, but he couldn't be =too= gay. We could have a same-sex marriage, but it has to be completely, blandly domestic. We could have two men who are married, but they have to keep romance and passion off-screen. It has to be bland and boring in order to exist at all.
I'm glad we have a gay super-hero in the Marvel movies. I'm hoping it leads to more of them. I suppose it's inevitable that the first one is botched. But I'm tired of feeling that way.
I wanted THE ETERNALS to be an awesome movie, with an interesting, fast-paced story with a prominent and heart-felt gay relationship. I got something entirely, and disappointingly, different.
comments
I really wanted to like it. I tried to like it. I couldn't.
(Light spoilers follow.)
The Eternals are a group of immortal super-beings, each with their own power--matter transmutation, super-speed, mind control, illusion, flight and strength, and so on. They were sent to Earth by another being, a Celestial, to stop monsters called Deviants from wiping out the human race.
The movie itself is unfortunately and deeply flawed. Like I said, I really wanted to like it, and I tried, but nothing really worked. At the beginning, we're dropped into an action sequence in the stone age. A Deviant kills a man in front of his son, and the boy doesn't even react. In fact, when the Deviants wipe out a big chunk of the village, no one really seems to mind much. The boy, who should have been frightened and traumatized, expressionlessly accepts the gift of a knife from one of the Eternals instead.
This set the tone for the rest of the movie.
The Eternals are outside humanity, supposed to be apart from it. And most of them are hard-bitten and even uncaring. Ikarus, the male lead, spends most of the movie stony-faced and rigid. He's in love with Sersi, but he never seems to take joy out of that. He doesn't seem to get joy out of anything, really. Sersi seems to feel the same way--their relationship is a burden, not a support, and she puts up with it because she feels she should, rather than out of any real romantic attraction. Sprite, the mischief-maker, also rarely cracks a smile, and uses her illusions for workaday heroics. We never see her get any =fun= out of her powers. Kingo, a blaster hero, seems to be the only one who likes what he's doing, but even he turns overly serious halfway through the show. The actors decided that immortality has hardened the characters and made them either less than or more than human. An interesting choice, but it means the characters feel remote, and I couldn't connect with them.
There was an attempt to humanize Sersi by giving her a human boyfriend, but it actually makes the problem worse. The boyfriend--whose name I'm forgetting--takes the news of Sersi's true identity with sarcastic resignation, the world-weary sigh of someone who's already seen super-heroes stop world-wrecking events. His low-key acceptance is, perhaps, different, but it's ultimately off-putting. He was a chance to inject some humanity in the show, and that chance was thrown away.
Director Chloe Zhao also seems to have little idea of how to pace a story. Just when the movie gets some momentum going and the tension builds nicely, she stops the story dead for long, long minutes so the characters can emote at each other. I found myself checking my watch, never a good sign. The time-hopping structure of the story (starting in the distant past, jumping back to the present, popping into the past again) makes this worse. It's hard to keep track of what's going on, and we have to put the present storyline on hold every time we're plopped back into the past again. It's another momentum-killing device.
And then we come to Phastos, the much-heralded First Gay Movie Super-Hero. He falls flat.
This isn't the fault of Henry Tyree, the actor who plays him. Tyree does a great job. It's the script and the director who fail the character. First, make no mistake, Phastos is a minor character. He's absent from most of the movie, in fact. After the first few scenes, the Eternals basically split up and scatter around the world. Later, Ikarus and Sersi travel around the world, trying to reunite them so they can fight a new threat. This could have been done quickly, much in the way Paul Neuman picks up grifters in THE STING. Instead, Zhao slowly, frustratingly takes. Her. Time. We have a long, long, LONG scene partway through the gathering process in which the characters gathered so far share a meal.
Guess who isn't there yet?
At LONG last, the characters get off their asses and look for Phastos. They find him in a suburb with, to the surprise of his fellow Eternals, a husband named Ben and their young son. We have a set of family-oriented scenes here that, I think, are meant to normalize a same-sex relationship, but the relationship itself is dry. Everything is too matter-of-fact. Like Sersi's boyfriend, Ben doesn't seem much affected by the revelation of Phastos's true identity, and when he learns Phastos needs to leave them to go fight evil, Ben sends him off with a smile and a quick, dry kiss of the sort you give your husband when he's going away for a two-day conference. There was no attempt whatsoever to show romance or, heaven forbid, passion. (And I have to point out that Sersi and Ikarus, our straight couple, get an extensive and passionate lovemaking scene.)
Later, after the Great Big Battle, the Eternals come back together, but do we get a scene in which Phastos is reunited with his husband and son? Do we see Ben and Phastos fling themselves into an embrace with thank-god-you're-okay-I-love-you-so-much? Do we seen Phastos's son leap into his arms shrieking "Daddy!"?
No, we don't. Instead, we blip to a farmhouse. Phastos is in a living room eating pizza. Ben is nowhere to be seen, and their son is in the kitchen, talking to another Eternal. Later, Ben pops in to deliver one line, and Phastos decides to rush into the kitchen, but not to talk to his son, whom he deliberately pushes aside, but to talk to his team-mate.
It drains all emotion from the scene.
This is doubly problematic in a movie that stutters and stammers because the plot gets interrupted for emotional emoting for emo emotions. Zhao is willing to sacrifice pacing so her straight people can emote at each other, but she won't do the same for her gay folk.
A few audience members did shout and clap during the kiss. I just shrugged. It could have been--should have been--much better.
It's abundantly clear Disney/Marvel is testing the waters. They decided we could have a gay man, but he couldn't be =too= gay. We could have a same-sex marriage, but it has to be completely, blandly domestic. We could have two men who are married, but they have to keep romance and passion off-screen. It has to be bland and boring in order to exist at all.
I'm glad we have a gay super-hero in the Marvel movies. I'm hoping it leads to more of them. I suppose it's inevitable that the first one is botched. But I'm tired of feeling that way.
I wanted THE ETERNALS to be an awesome movie, with an interesting, fast-paced story with a prominent and heart-felt gay relationship. I got something entirely, and disappointingly, different.
comments
October 18, 2021
The Department of Education and Me
Today I got a mass-mailed letter from the Michigan Department of Education. It began:
"I am sending you this letter today because, as you are likely aware, there is a teacher shortage, not just in Michigan, but across the United States."
It goes to basically beg me to apply for a teaching job. "Districts from all areas of our beautiful state...are ready to welcome you, or welcome you back, to the profession."
I'm assuming this letter went out to everyone in the MDE's mailing list, including retired teachers.
My response?
Dear Dr. Rice,
When the Michigan state government increases funding to schools, removes benefit caps, increases retirement, restores the practice of buying years of service, forgives student loans for teachers, ends required standardized testing, and requires schools to PAY TEACHERS MORE MONEY, you'll be pleasantly surprised at the number of applicants you receive all over the state.
As it is, your letter is nothing but pretty words, and I can make those myself.
Sincerely,A Teacher
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"I am sending you this letter today because, as you are likely aware, there is a teacher shortage, not just in Michigan, but across the United States."
It goes to basically beg me to apply for a teaching job. "Districts from all areas of our beautiful state...are ready to welcome you, or welcome you back, to the profession."
I'm assuming this letter went out to everyone in the MDE's mailing list, including retired teachers.
My response?
Dear Dr. Rice,
When the Michigan state government increases funding to schools, removes benefit caps, increases retirement, restores the practice of buying years of service, forgives student loans for teachers, ends required standardized testing, and requires schools to PAY TEACHERS MORE MONEY, you'll be pleasantly surprised at the number of applicants you receive all over the state.
As it is, your letter is nothing but pretty words, and I can make those myself.
Sincerely,A Teacher
comments
October 17, 2021
Yet Another Pride Flag Update
When last we heard about the Pride flag fight, the HOA was still telling us to take it down, to which Darwin and I replied, "The rules say we get a hearing with the board when we're accused of a rules violation. We haven't had a hearing yet."
And we didn't hear anything else. For weeks. We wondered if the HOA had decided to drop the issue.
Nope! We finally got a text from K---, a board member, who offered us a hearing on a particular Tuesday evening. R--, the president, and J--, the board member who had started the Pride flag fight, wouldn't be there, which I found very interesting. However, the other three board members would attend, and that constituted a quorum. Darwin and I agreed to the meeting.
We weren't sure where the board would land with this. Darwin and I had a number of arguments marshaled--that the board had failed to enforce the flag rule when other co-owners violated it and we were clearly being targeted due to our sexual orientation; that J-- had made a number of blatantly discriminatory and homophobic comments about us and our Pride flag while speaking as the board vice-president; that the board had only changed the flag rule to make it more restrictive when our Pride flag went up, which meant they knew our flag wasn't a violation.
Additionally, remember, we're the guys who arranged for the rescue of the feral kittens living under the shed. I was careful to post flyers, complete with adorable kitten photos, around the complex to update everyone on what had happened. So if the board ruled against us, they would be ruling against the guys who help stray kittens. Not very good for the board's image!
Finally, if the board ruled against us, we intended to take the flag down for a single day, then put it back up. When the inevitable complaint came, we planned to say, "The complaint about our flag came in under the old flag rule, and that complaint was only recently resolved. If you feel we're in violation of the NEW flag rule, you can create a complaint, of course--and start the process from the beginning. Do note that this includes sending a hard copy letter to us by registered mail, and we will demand yet another board hearing. And the rules and regulations say that the first violation of any rule results in no penalty whatsoever. Just thought we'd say."
(Side note: a second violation results in a $25 fine. Ooo! If it went this far, Darwin and I planned to continue flying the flag and requiring the HOA to go through every single step from the beginning, including holding more hearings. It would totally be worth $25 to make them jump through hoops.)
Anyway, we had all this set up and ready to go.
And then we got a text from K---. The meeting was being postponed. He didn't say why, and he didn't give a postponement date.
Darwin and I think one of two things happened. Either a board member had a conflict with that time (and without at least three board members, they can't conduct business); or at least one board member said, "Why are we doing this? No one cares about the damn Pride flag except J--. Just drop it!"
It's been a couple weeks, and we haven't gotten a notice about a new meeting time. And the Pride flag continues to fly.
comments
And we didn't hear anything else. For weeks. We wondered if the HOA had decided to drop the issue.
Nope! We finally got a text from K---, a board member, who offered us a hearing on a particular Tuesday evening. R--, the president, and J--, the board member who had started the Pride flag fight, wouldn't be there, which I found very interesting. However, the other three board members would attend, and that constituted a quorum. Darwin and I agreed to the meeting.
We weren't sure where the board would land with this. Darwin and I had a number of arguments marshaled--that the board had failed to enforce the flag rule when other co-owners violated it and we were clearly being targeted due to our sexual orientation; that J-- had made a number of blatantly discriminatory and homophobic comments about us and our Pride flag while speaking as the board vice-president; that the board had only changed the flag rule to make it more restrictive when our Pride flag went up, which meant they knew our flag wasn't a violation.
Additionally, remember, we're the guys who arranged for the rescue of the feral kittens living under the shed. I was careful to post flyers, complete with adorable kitten photos, around the complex to update everyone on what had happened. So if the board ruled against us, they would be ruling against the guys who help stray kittens. Not very good for the board's image!
Finally, if the board ruled against us, we intended to take the flag down for a single day, then put it back up. When the inevitable complaint came, we planned to say, "The complaint about our flag came in under the old flag rule, and that complaint was only recently resolved. If you feel we're in violation of the NEW flag rule, you can create a complaint, of course--and start the process from the beginning. Do note that this includes sending a hard copy letter to us by registered mail, and we will demand yet another board hearing. And the rules and regulations say that the first violation of any rule results in no penalty whatsoever. Just thought we'd say."
(Side note: a second violation results in a $25 fine. Ooo! If it went this far, Darwin and I planned to continue flying the flag and requiring the HOA to go through every single step from the beginning, including holding more hearings. It would totally be worth $25 to make them jump through hoops.)
Anyway, we had all this set up and ready to go.
And then we got a text from K---. The meeting was being postponed. He didn't say why, and he didn't give a postponement date.
Darwin and I think one of two things happened. Either a board member had a conflict with that time (and without at least three board members, they can't conduct business); or at least one board member said, "Why are we doing this? No one cares about the damn Pride flag except J--. Just drop it!"
It's been a couple weeks, and we haven't gotten a notice about a new meeting time. And the Pride flag continues to fly.
comments
October 11, 2021
Queer Superman, or Why I'm Subscribing to Comics Again
I read comics obsessively until I was in my late 20s. I subscribed to a couple dozen books. I stopped because the writing standards went down, and the prices went up. I picked up the odd issue here and there out of idle interest, but read nothing regularly, and last year I sold my collection.
Now, for the first time in 25 years, I've subscribed to a comic book again. Here's why:https://www.npr.org/2021/10/11/1044002955/superman-son-comes-out-queer-dc-comics
I can't tell you what this would have meant for me if this had happened when I was a kid. Seeing it on the page made it possible, made it =real=. More than that, seeing Superman with a boyfriend, made such a thing . . . not just acceptable, but DESIRABLE. Something it was okay to want. The world's greatest hero wants the same thing you do.
So I'm reading.
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Now, for the first time in 25 years, I've subscribed to a comic book again. Here's why:https://www.npr.org/2021/10/11/1044002955/superman-son-comes-out-queer-dc-comics
I can't tell you what this would have meant for me if this had happened when I was a kid. Seeing it on the page made it possible, made it =real=. More than that, seeing Superman with a boyfriend, made such a thing . . . not just acceptable, but DESIRABLE. Something it was okay to want. The world's greatest hero wants the same thing you do.
So I'm reading.
comments
September 30, 2021
Back to Physical Training
The joint specialist announced last month that I no longer needed physical therapy training for the pain in my shoulder. It seemed premature to me--I wasn't pain free--but I went along with it and canceled my upcoming appointments with the trainer.
But not long after, the pain came roaring back. If anything, it's worse. I can't even put a shirt on without pain. So I went back to the doctor. He said we could either do exploratory (laparoscopic) surgery to see in more detail what the problem might be (the MRI I had was inconclusive) or we could go back to PT and see if that improved matters. I opted for more PT. Although surgery would ultimately take less time, the PT counts as good exercise and I've become more and more averse to anesthesia.
I hopped over to the PT office, which is in the same building, and set up a schedule. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays I belong to the trainer again!
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But not long after, the pain came roaring back. If anything, it's worse. I can't even put a shirt on without pain. So I went back to the doctor. He said we could either do exploratory (laparoscopic) surgery to see in more detail what the problem might be (the MRI I had was inconclusive) or we could go back to PT and see if that improved matters. I opted for more PT. Although surgery would ultimately take less time, the PT counts as good exercise and I've become more and more averse to anesthesia.
I hopped over to the PT office, which is in the same building, and set up a schedule. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays I belong to the trainer again!
comments
September 19, 2021
Pride Flag Update
The fight over our flag has continued.
It started when we flew a Pride flag from our balcony. A couple-three weeks later, we got a notice from the management company of our condo that said our flag was a violation of the rules and regulations. I pointed out to the company that the rules and regs only regulate American flags. Other flags, including Pride flags, were not mentioned.
We knew that our neighbor J---, who is also the HOA vice-president, was unhappy that our second-story flag was flying higher than his first-story American flag. And he's generally homophobic anyway. He filed the initial complaint.
This touched off an explosive fight, mostly via email. A couple days into the whole affair, J--- was standing down on the boat dock a few yards away from the condo balconies. He was talking loudly to another neighbor, and he told her that HIS flag stood for patriotism and THAT flag stood for a sexual preference, and they were going to change the rules to forbid THAT flag. I wrote it all down.
Darwin and I got really pissed. J--- is allowed to be as homophobic as he likes in private life, but in this case, he was clearly speaking as a member of the HOA board, and he was making hate speech against a fellow co-owner.
The board met--without informing anyone else that they were doing so--and apparently they voted in a new flag rule, one that forbade all flags except the American flag. We were served notice from the HOA's lawyer that we had to take our flag down immediately.
We shot back that both the original flag rule and the new flag rule stated American flags must be flown according to the US Flag Code, which, among other things, states that flags may not be flown if they are worn or torn and that at night they must be taken down or lighted. The new rule also stated that all flags must be 4'x6'. But several residents were flying worn American flags, didn't take them down at night or light them, and flew a whole bunch of smaller flags on their boats and balconies, and no one filed complaints about that. We were being singled out over our sexual orientation.
We also pointed out that the rules and regs clearly state that anyone accused of a violation can call for a board hearing, and we were officially calling for one. In the meantime, though, we took the flag down.
After a whole bunch of angry back-and-forth via email, R--, the HOA president, and K---, a board member, asked if we could meet informally to talk about the matter. We agreed, and the four of us met near the kitten shed. It was a long, sometimes angry, talk. I told them what J-- had said, and Darwin pointed out that the board wasn't being fair and evenhanded in enforcing the rules. I also said that the board had the power to change the rule at any time. Would R-- ask the board to do so?
R-- dismissed J--'s hate speech with a, "He's old school Baptist, and it's just the way he is" and said he had no intention of asking the board to change the rule.
A few days later, I put the flag back up.
Within an hour, I got an irate text from R--. "I thought we'd resolved this," he said.
"We haven't had our hearing yet," I shot back. "In the interest of convenience, we're willing to wait until the next board meeting."
That was a week ago. We haven't heard a word since. The Pride flag continues to fly.
I'm wondering if the board is sick of dealing with the time and expense. (Every time they consult with the attorney, it costs money--and they've consulted with him a LOT.) Have they decided just to drop the matter? We'll see.
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It started when we flew a Pride flag from our balcony. A couple-three weeks later, we got a notice from the management company of our condo that said our flag was a violation of the rules and regulations. I pointed out to the company that the rules and regs only regulate American flags. Other flags, including Pride flags, were not mentioned.
We knew that our neighbor J---, who is also the HOA vice-president, was unhappy that our second-story flag was flying higher than his first-story American flag. And he's generally homophobic anyway. He filed the initial complaint.
This touched off an explosive fight, mostly via email. A couple days into the whole affair, J--- was standing down on the boat dock a few yards away from the condo balconies. He was talking loudly to another neighbor, and he told her that HIS flag stood for patriotism and THAT flag stood for a sexual preference, and they were going to change the rules to forbid THAT flag. I wrote it all down.
Darwin and I got really pissed. J--- is allowed to be as homophobic as he likes in private life, but in this case, he was clearly speaking as a member of the HOA board, and he was making hate speech against a fellow co-owner.
The board met--without informing anyone else that they were doing so--and apparently they voted in a new flag rule, one that forbade all flags except the American flag. We were served notice from the HOA's lawyer that we had to take our flag down immediately.
We shot back that both the original flag rule and the new flag rule stated American flags must be flown according to the US Flag Code, which, among other things, states that flags may not be flown if they are worn or torn and that at night they must be taken down or lighted. The new rule also stated that all flags must be 4'x6'. But several residents were flying worn American flags, didn't take them down at night or light them, and flew a whole bunch of smaller flags on their boats and balconies, and no one filed complaints about that. We were being singled out over our sexual orientation.
We also pointed out that the rules and regs clearly state that anyone accused of a violation can call for a board hearing, and we were officially calling for one. In the meantime, though, we took the flag down.
After a whole bunch of angry back-and-forth via email, R--, the HOA president, and K---, a board member, asked if we could meet informally to talk about the matter. We agreed, and the four of us met near the kitten shed. It was a long, sometimes angry, talk. I told them what J-- had said, and Darwin pointed out that the board wasn't being fair and evenhanded in enforcing the rules. I also said that the board had the power to change the rule at any time. Would R-- ask the board to do so?
R-- dismissed J--'s hate speech with a, "He's old school Baptist, and it's just the way he is" and said he had no intention of asking the board to change the rule.
A few days later, I put the flag back up.
Within an hour, I got an irate text from R--. "I thought we'd resolved this," he said.
"We haven't had our hearing yet," I shot back. "In the interest of convenience, we're willing to wait until the next board meeting."
That was a week ago. We haven't heard a word since. The Pride flag continues to fly.
I'm wondering if the board is sick of dealing with the time and expense. (Every time they consult with the attorney, it costs money--and they've consulted with him a LOT.) Have they decided just to drop the matter? We'll see.
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No Donations
Today I went through my closet. I've lost considerable weight, you see, and a bunch of my clothes no longer fit. Some clothes I just don't wear anymore. We also have sheets and blankets we don't need. I put piles and piles of clothes and linens into bags, and Darwin helped me schlep them down to the car.
We drove to a charity thrift store up the road from us. Their parking lot was blocked off with parking cones. A big sign posted in their parking lot said in stern letters NO DONATIONS!
So Darwin and I drove to another place. Another stern sign: NO DONATIONS!
In the end, we just threw everything out.
I actually have a theory about this.
When I was young, there used to be charity clothes drives, especially at the holidays. You were urged to donate used clothes. "We need them! Please go through your closets and drawers. Families are in need!" But relatively few people donated clothes. Donating clothes was something the wealthy did. If you had clothes worth re-using, you didn't donate them--you held a garage sale and sold them.
Nowadays? Donation stores are drowning in donations. Why? Look at the clothes themselves. Manufacturing methods have changed. Shirts are made of fabric so thin, you can see through it. Machines do a lot more cutting and sewing work than ever before. And, of course, the workers are paid next to nothing. This makes clothing less expensive for the consumer, but it's also shoddy, cheap-ass stuff.
I was clothing shopping yesterday, hunting for new shirts that fit the new me. I was especially hunting for warm shirts and decent fleeces because my classroom is cold in winter. But all the fleeces I found were thin, barely above t-shirt thickness. Same for gingham shirts. They were like tissue paper.
Women complain about this phenomenon, especially. Women's clothing seems designed to fall apart after it goes through the wash a couple times, and to be so thin that it won't keep you warm. The clothing companies seem to think we all live in Arizona. But of course, it's that they're trying to lower manufacturing costs.
Since clothes cost less and wear out faster, people buy more of them. This leads to overstuffed closets, which further leads to a glut of donations.
So now the dumpster in our complex is half-full of clothes.
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We drove to a charity thrift store up the road from us. Their parking lot was blocked off with parking cones. A big sign posted in their parking lot said in stern letters NO DONATIONS!
So Darwin and I drove to another place. Another stern sign: NO DONATIONS!
In the end, we just threw everything out.
I actually have a theory about this.
When I was young, there used to be charity clothes drives, especially at the holidays. You were urged to donate used clothes. "We need them! Please go through your closets and drawers. Families are in need!" But relatively few people donated clothes. Donating clothes was something the wealthy did. If you had clothes worth re-using, you didn't donate them--you held a garage sale and sold them.
Nowadays? Donation stores are drowning in donations. Why? Look at the clothes themselves. Manufacturing methods have changed. Shirts are made of fabric so thin, you can see through it. Machines do a lot more cutting and sewing work than ever before. And, of course, the workers are paid next to nothing. This makes clothing less expensive for the consumer, but it's also shoddy, cheap-ass stuff.
I was clothing shopping yesterday, hunting for new shirts that fit the new me. I was especially hunting for warm shirts and decent fleeces because my classroom is cold in winter. But all the fleeces I found were thin, barely above t-shirt thickness. Same for gingham shirts. They were like tissue paper.
Women complain about this phenomenon, especially. Women's clothing seems designed to fall apart after it goes through the wash a couple times, and to be so thin that it won't keep you warm. The clothing companies seem to think we all live in Arizona. But of course, it's that they're trying to lower manufacturing costs.
Since clothes cost less and wear out faster, people buy more of them. This leads to overstuffed closets, which further leads to a glut of donations.
So now the dumpster in our complex is half-full of clothes.
comments
