Leslie Glass's Blog, page 352

Teen Gun Violence

Teen gun violence has increased dramatically in the last decade and is a cause of great concern. The United States has a very high rate of death due to gun violence, including suicide. We are a culture of violence. As teenagers, parents and family, friends, schools, community members, and all others, we weep at the loss of life by such violence. For example, the Griffords Law Center to Prevent Gun Violence (www.lawcenter.griffords.org) reveals studies showing that in 2014:

“21,101 people under the age of 21 were shot by guns. 3,265 died from those gunshot wounds. Of these deaths, 1,925 were classified as homicides, 1,145 as suicides, and 122 as the result of unintentional shootings.”
“Firearms were used in 41% of suicide deaths among individuals under age 21.”

Likewise, the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence (www.bradycampaign.org) has reviewed a number of studies that have been conducted, including data from the CDC (www.cdc.gov) with the following results:

for ages 1 – 19, studies reveal that homicide is committed in 71% of crimes and 41% of suicides are committed by guns
7 million children live with loaded, unlocked guns
1 in 3 homes that have children also have guns
68% of school shooters got their guns from parents/relatives
25% of parents with guns keep at least one gun loaded
9 young people are shot daily in gun accidents

Why Guns and Teens Are Not Compatible

One cause of teen gun violence is that the adolescent brain is not fully formed and is still developing into the 20s. Young children and pre-adolescents do not have the capacity to truly understand the dangers of guns. They may not understand that guns aren’t toys, can be very impulsive, may not understand the difference between right and wrong, cannot understand the concept of cause and effect (if they shoot the gun, it may harm someone), or don’t understand the concept of death.

Older children, teens until early 20s, also have underdeveloped brains and may struggle with a variety of factors leading to gun violence. And while this group of teens may have an understanding of the previously noted factors and can make healthy decisions, they may react out of impulsiveness, immaturity, stress, anger/rage, depression, risk-taking behaviors, sadness and grief, being bullied, and peer pressure. They may not have a core set of coping skills and thereby, may act in impulse.

What Should A Parent Do About Teen Gun Violence

Best scenario is not to have a gun. Gun violence begets gun violence. Likewise, a gun in the home increases the chance of it harming a family member through an accidental shooting, impulsive shooting such as during an argument, or an impulsive suicide attempt.
If you must have a gun, you need to keep it locked and unloaded for safety. Do not have access for a young person to get a hold of the gun/s.
As noted earlier regarding the adolescent brain, consider very carefully allowing teens to use guns, even for practice or hunting.
However, if you have guns, you need to discuss gun safety with your kids. Take them to gun safety training even if you won’t allow them access until older. You never know when they might get a gun against your advice.
ASK (askingsaveskids.org) .This is a program that helps parents to talk with their children and their friends and the friends’ families about guns in the friends’ homes. This is a way to make sure your children are safe at others’ homes.
Be aware of your child’s mental health. Is he depressed or suicidal; is she angry; is they being bullied? Pay attention to what they are saying, doing, and giving you clues. (link to previous article)
Talk to them about guns and gun deaths, including school and other shootings. They need to know you are supportive and available to talk to about their fears. If they become overwhelmed by the violence they are experiencing, take them to a therapist/social worker/counselor.
Seek support from family, friends, and neighbors who also are concerned or form a neighborhood group.
Consider avoiding violent movies, video games, and other media which promote violence and numbs the ability for compassion.
Fight for gun control limits. Really, who needs an assault rifle to kill a deer?
Join groups such as Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America (www.momsdemandaction.org), The Brady Center, the Griffords Law Center to Prevent Violence, or Everytown for Gun Safety (everytownresearch.org) to get the education and support you need.
Embrace acceptance of all people. Show them that life is sacred by your words as well as your actions.

We can all do our part to limit gun violence. Whether on a personal level, a community level, or state and national levels, there is much we must do. Do not fall victim of gun violence and those who continue to resist sane gun laws.

The post Teen Gun Violence appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Summer Holiday Sobriety Survival Guide

It’s officially summer, and we’re racing straight towards summer BBQs, parties, mid-summer night’s whatever, and so on. Over the years, we’ve done a lot of tip guides for how to stay safe when you’re sober and confronted with Summer’s tempting delights, and here’s another one because you can never have too many reminders on the sobriety basics.

Recovery is possible – even at Summer parties where no one else is in recovery

Unless you are the only person on earth with a totally sane, sober family and friends, you will be confronted with things like:

People enjoying alcoholic drinks (or watermelon) that you once loved as well.
Family discussing things that push your buttons. For example, “Susan, you’re over 35… Any plans on kids?” Or, “Jack, you STILL haven’t found a job yet??” Or, “Mary, is little Billy in public school?? Private is so much safer these days.” Any of that sound familiar? Yup, while they may mean well, it stings.
Your singleness being on display.
Your stressed relationship being on display.
Hiding your muffin top so your failed diet won’t be on display.
Seeing an ex-anything you don’t want to see.
Your kids acting up.

And more fun stuff like that.

Summer parties can be amazing, but they can also highlight everything you feel insecure about.

So, my holiday depression-prevention guide includes:

One designated person who is around and available to take my call if necessary.
Seeing my “mentors” before going into the holiday. You can fill in the word mentor with any of the following as appropriate: sponsor, therapist, sober friend, safe friend or family member, sane/reliable resource.
A fool-proof out if I need to leave wherever I am.
Shows I’m excited to watch on my Netflix (especially comedy).
Foods I’m excited to eat in my fridge.
One date with someone special – can be romantic but doesn’t have to be if you don’t have someone in your life right now. I work with an incredible dog trainer who I’ve heard recommend many times over the years that you should make special time with your dog when you’re single. No one else will love you that unconditionally so honor them when you can. There’s no question that when I take my dog for a hike, then for a ride in the car, then make him a homemade meal; he looks at me like I’m God. That can actually go quite a long way.
Be of service. We all know showing up for other people can be a lifesaver for them and us, so take the time to check in on other sober people to make sure they’re hanging in there too.

Alright, Happy 4th! Stay safe, stay sane and stay sober

How To Overcome Shame And Build Self-Confidence

From Psychology Today:

Shame is one of those emotions we will do anything to avoid. It takes your breath away, makes you nauseous and makes you want to disappear. We will shame other people to escape it. We’ll lie, isolate ourselves, and search for any way to vanish so as not to feel it. Sometimes we use drugs or get drunk, other times we stuff our faces. If we get drunk enough or high enough, if we eat enough sugar or fat, the shame sheds away, for a moment.

It can maintain addictive behaviors, but shame also gets in the way of recovery, self-acceptance and accessing help.

“Shame is one of those basic emotions that we will do anything to avoid”- Adi Jaffe

Why do you feel shame?

Shame is the feeling that there’s something wrong with you. It’s not about having done something wrong (that’s guilt), no, shame arises from the core belief that you are simply not good enough. Sadly, it’s a core belief that is common among those who struggle with addiction issues.

It evolves throughout our lives – a cumulation of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. And shame becomes part of our identity. With these experiences, we are labeled, stereotyped and stigmatized. We become something other than what we were.

If you’ve been told you’re different and weird enough times by people you look up to, you might feel shame. If you get made fun of for your weight by someone you like, you might feel shame. Shame might attach itself to you if your parents tell you you’re stupid over and over… Or if a teacher makes fun of you publicly and brings the rest of the class in on it. When these things happen enough, they become more than instances. They become the lens through which you see the world.

Why shame is a roadblock to recovery

Shame becomes part of the reason you don’t get help. Because you’ll just fail anyway. You’ll disappoint and frustrate your loved ones, and yourself. You’re not smart enough, good-looking enough, well-liked enough or talented enough to make it work.

I know what it’s like, I’ve been there. I’ve been made off publicly, I’ve been shamed in the privacy of my own home growing up, I started thinking of myself as a “no-good loser” having heard it enough. But it doesn’t have to be that way. When you stop seeing yourself as your label, as your problem, as your addiction, the shame begins to fall away.

In 2010, while getting my post-doctoral work at UCLA, I conducted a study to find out why only 10% of the 24 million U.S. residents who have substance use disorders seek treatment annually.

I discovered that shame was one of four main barriers to entering treatment, with 75% of participants identifying shame and stigma as a primary roadblock to treatment.

Think about that for a second – that means ¾ of the people who chose not to enter treatment felt like they were somehow not worthy enough of the help. Help that might save their lives. That’s simply not ok with me.

That’s why I’ve made it my mission to change the way we think about and deal with addiction by reducing the stigma often associated with mental illness and addictive behaviors.

What happens when you release shame?

Let’s be honest. Shame is in opposition to self-esteem and happiness. But what happens when we release shame? When we let go of those beliefs that we’re good enough or undeserving or unworthy?

The release of shame leads to self-acceptance.

When shame isn’t the driving emotion, it means you’re no longer on a path of self-destruction. You’re no longer thinking, feeling and behaving in ways that fit with those ‘labels.’ Instead, you come to a place where realistic goals can be set. And reality is often much better than you can even imagine.

How to overcome  shame and build self-confidence

1.     Identify the key past events

Acknowledging your past is essential. Don’t hide away from it. Those events may have influenced who you are today, but they don’t have to shape the future you.

Identify the points in your life when your struggles began. What was going on in your life at that time? Who were your influences? What messages, labels or feedback were you getting from the people around you? What negative beliefsbecame ingrained at that point?

2.     Strengths vs. weaknesses

Be honest with yourself about who you are. Your personality traits, your idiosyncrasies, and qualities. We all have strengths and weaknesses, it’s just a matter of being aware of (not shaming) your shortcomings and shining light on the strengths.

I touch on this in my TEDx talk on shame and mental health labels. I’ve talked about how my ADHD can be a burden. I can’t plan ahead to save my life! I’m easily frustrated and bored, and I hate sitting still.

I could succumb to the label and throw my hands in the air. I could let it rule my life, feel ashamed that I’ve disappointed friends or forgotten an important event. But, that’s not the sum of me. When this energy is rechanneled, ADHD becomes a real asset. I think outside the box; I thrive under pressure, I’m driven and ambitious and motivated. I have to get help with organization, but that’s ok… EVERYONE needs some help!

Someone with persistent anxiety may find significant life transitions stressful, but they may also super organized, and be the only ones to arrive at your birthday on time (and remember weeks in advance)- unlike me! Once you start reframing your problems by looking at some of the positive aspects they add to your life, your perspective changes immensely.

Whether you have a mental health label or not, you will always find some aspects of life challenging. You don’t need to throw away all the labels, but you need to get comfortable with who you are and the different ways that you function.

3.     Identify contributing factors

How are things going in all other areas of your life? How is your physical health, social network, intimate relationships, work roles, and finances. When was the last time you had real fun? By focusing solely on the addictive behavior, you can neglect the other areas of your life that make your addictive behavior worse or could be the reason why it’s happening in the first place.

When learning to ride a motorcycle, the teacher told me this – “If you look down at the road when you make a turn, that’s where you’ll end up!” Stop only looking at your addictive behavior or you’ll end up spending your entire day thinking about your addiction. Look around – what’s going well and what can you change to make better?

4.     Use failure to create opportunities

In my IGNTD Recovery program, I see many people who experience shame because of their past failures. They have a setback or a relapse, and they feel like they are doomed to failure forever. But the real problem they have is labeling a relapse as a failure.

Failures are final. Bu people often learn from mistakes.

A “failure” is the ideal opportunity to learn how to do better in the future. The people who overcome addictive behaviors are the ones who take on the challenge of setbacks and learn everything they can to face their realities.

5.     Seek help

In the U.S. only 10% of people struggling with some form of addiction actually get help. Don’t let shame get in the way of your recovery. It may seem like you’ll always feel this way, but research shows that shame diminishes during the treatment process. So, what does that mean? It means you will feel a hell of a lot better once you take that first step in accessing help.

Therapists, psychologists, outpatient providers and more – there are many options for choosing help, so don’t feel like you have to say yes to the first one that comes along. Find someone who doesn’t exacerbate the shame you’re coming in with!

In closing

Drive right on through that shame roadblock. Steer in the direction of the place where that enduring shame is released, and you reach self-acceptance. You are not your label, and you are not your addiction.

Acknowledging beliefs and events connected to shame put you on the roadmap to recovery, and the journey can take you to place you’ve never imagined.

 

The post How To Overcome Shame And Build Self-Confidence appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Work Separation Anxiety: More Than A Sense Of Responsibility

From Psychology Today:

Do you stress out about work even when you’re off the clock?

Most of us consider ourselves pretty lucky if we are able to get paid to do a job we enjoy. Whether you’re a CEO, a mechanic, a teacher, or a healer, job satisfaction is totally going to influence your overall happiness and life satisfaction. It will greatly influence your family’s happiness, as well.

The world of work is where the majority of humans spend the majority of their waking hours. We joke about “work wives” or “work husbands,” but the relationships we forge with the people with whom we work can be pretty important to how we feel when we get up every morning and how we’re feeling when we come home at the end of the day.

Maybe we Like Job Stress more than We Know?

According to a recent study conducted by TSheets, Americans have a difficult time finding — or allocating — the time to take advantage of the paid time off that they are due. The reasons that we’re not taking off the time we deserve varied pretty broadly – from having workloads that are too heavy (18%), to “forgetting” to take the leave (8%), to bowing to a culture they felt did not encourage taking vacations (3%), among several others. Unfortunately, even though we are making a decision to forego a psychological and physical break from our job, we still are feeling dangerous levels of stress from the decision. Physical health is put at risk when we work non-stop without taking days off for re-booting our bodies. Stress causes us to have more accidents at home and on the job, too.

One other finding from the study highlights a cultural difference between the US and a lot of other countries that know better how to utilize the gift of time away from work. The majority of US workers surveyed stated that they would choose a pay raise over additional paid leave. It’s clear that we are willing to put up with the job-induced stress that most of us complain about if we feel the money is right. But for some people, even if they got the pay raise AND the additional vacation time, it wouldn’t make a difference in their willingness to actually take time off from the job. These are the people who suffer from a special form of separation anxiety – Work Separation Anxiety.

What exactly is Work Separation Anxiety?

Last month, an old friend reached out and shared her fear that her husband was suffering from symptoms of a disorder that sounds a lot like a basic separation anxiety disorder, but his was specific to the turmoil and angst he experienced when he left the job. She said it wasn’t so much the case that he was a workaholic, she just felt that he let work worries and concerns take too much of his energy when he should have been focused on non-work pursuits. Not only did her husband struggle with committing to take vacation days, he also had trouble taking time away for “life or death” absences such as the funerals of loved ones or his own hospital stay. In a nutshell, “Work Separation Anxiety” or “Job Separation Anxiety” seems to be a disorder that affects individuals who feel the need to ensure that everything happens just as it should on the job — even when it’s not necessarily their responsibility or when they are not even literally “on” the job.

Through some research, I found out that anxiety about missing work is more common than we might like to believe. Regardless of age or gender, we tend to take a healthy slice of our social and emotional identity from our vocational choice. We grow up and “become” our job title. Ask kids what they want to be when they grow up, and expect to hear career choices, not qualities such as kind, loyal, or honest. We value the role we play as a cog in the occupational machine rather than how we actually choose to play that role. My friend shared that when she needed her husband to take time off work to attend to the business of life that was not work-related, he would respond with significant agitation that would manifest itself in predictions of disasters that might strike if he weren’t there to prevent them.

Work Separation Anxiety causes people to believe that the entire “work machine” might collapse without them present to oversee their singular role, although they may be just a tiny cog in the greater machine. Their ability to enjoy life beyond the cubicle or the corner office is lessened due to the “work-related noise inside their heads” distracts them from being present with the people in their presence. The sad part of all of this is that most of will never matter as much to the job as the job and its assorted tasks and responsibilities matter to us. Yet if we identify ourselves with the tasks we complete on the job, it makes sense that we’d harbor a deep-seated fear of who we would be if those tasks went undone in our absence.

What’s the Prognosis for Work Separation Anxiety?

Unfortunately, it seems that the more we worry about something, the more we worry. Learning to turn off worries requires a concentrated effort on the part of the worrier – or, even more effective and rewarded, the ability to replace the negative self-talk that worry generates with positive thoughts and healthier habits. Unfortunately, though, a problem isn’t perceived as “a problem” until the person suffering with it recognizes that it has actually BECOME a problem. That’s why support networks are so important to our well-being. We need others in our lives who can help us see what we don’t see and offer the support that is needed to help us make positive changes in our lives.

If you’re the type of person who cannot enjoy a moment away from the office for fear of what might happen in your absence or what tasks you’re not completing when you’re actually supposed to be focused on leisure, not work, then you may want to take a long, hard look at how your devotion to your job is affecting your devotion to your partner, your family, your friends, or any leisure activities you once used to enjoy. Although it seems to be the American way to work ourselves into varying states of burn-out – and early demise, it doesn’t mean that you can’t re-chart your own course and buck the trend of unhealthy, work obsessed folks who are putting their physical and psychological well-being at risk.

Trust your colleagues and co-workers to do the jobs they are trained to do. Take advantage of accrued leave and paid time off. Using your vacation leave benefits can be a lot more pleasurable than being forced to use your sick leave benefits when over worry and overwork manifest themselves into physical illness.

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Stopping Opioids Doesn’t Increase Pain

From Science Daily Stopping long-term opioid treatment does not make chronic, non-cancer-related pain worse and, in some cases, makes it better, researchers have found.

The research marks a crucial first step towards understanding how ending long-term opioid therapy affects patients with different types of chronic pain and could help medical practitioners identify effective, alternative treatments to opioids.

“On average, pain did not become worse among patients in our study a year after discontinuing long-term opioid therapy,” said Sterling McPherson, associate professor and director for biostatistics and clinical trial design at the WSU Elson F. Floyd College of Medicine. “If anything, their pain improved slightly, particularly among patients with mild to moderate pain just after discontinuation. Clinicians might consider these findings when discussing the risks and benefits of long-term opioid therapy as compared to other, non-opioid treatments for chronic pain.”

In the study

McPherson and colleagues at the Veteran Affairs Portland Health Care System and the Oregon Health & Science University used survey responses from 551 VA patients who had been on long-term opioid therapy for chronic, non-cancer-related pain for at least a year before discontinuing the medication.

Eighty-seven percent of the patients were diagnosed with chronic musculoskeletal pain, 6 percent with neuropathic pain, and 11 percent with headache pain, including migraines.

Survey subjects rated their pain over two years, scoring it on a scale of 0-10 where 0 equals no pain and 10 equals the worst possible pain. The researchers used biostatistical analysis and computer modeling to characterize changes in pain intensity 12 months before the patients ended opioid therapy and the 12 months after.

While patients differed widely in the intensity of pain they experienced before and after stopping opioids, as a whole, their pain did not get worse and remained similar or slightly improved.

“Our results indicate that long term opioid therapy does not effectively manage patient pain intensity any more effectively than not receiving long-term opioid therapy,” McPherson said. “There are a variety of treatments available for the management of chronic pain other than opioids and our hope is that this research will help promote conversations about these alternatives between doctors and their patients.”

Next steps

McPherson plans to collect additional data and conduct qualitative interviews with patients over the next year to try and determine why some patients experience greater reductions in pain than others after discontinuing long-term opioid therapy

“As part of our study, we grouped our patients into one of four categories based on the amount of pain they reported before and after discontinuing long-term opioid therapy,” McPherson said. “We are now going to try and understand what different mechanisms may be at work for reducing or increasing chronic pain for each of these sub-groups. Our hope is this will lead to being able to target specific sub-populations with different types of treatment for their chronic pain. In addition, we hope to continue to characterize potential adverse effects from being discontinued from long-term opioid therapy.”

A national problem

Backaches, headaches and other chronic, non-cancer-related pains affect one-third of Americans and will afflict even more as the prevalence of diabetes, obesity, arthritis and other diseases grows in the United States’ aging population.

From the early 1990s through 2012, powerful opioid painkillers were increasingly used to treat these maladies in the United States. But a growing number of opioid-related overdose deaths has caused U.S. doctors and policymakers to reexamine this approach. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 63,600 Americans died from drug overdose deaths in 2016, a toll five times higher than in 1999. Two thirds of these deaths, 42,249, involved opioids.

McPherson’s study, which appears in the June edition of the journal Pain, is one of the first to investigate what, if any, are the potential adverse effects of discontinuing long term opioid therapy for chronic, non-cancer-related pain.

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19 Great Places To Travel For Non-Drinkers

From The Huffington Post:

Travel often offers an opportunity to relax, explore a new place and have a good time.

For many, this entails winding down with some beachside cocktails, tasting a region’s wine or hitting up a local bar. But for people who don’t drink, it may sometimes feel like the “good time” options are more limited.

HuffPost reached out to a number of travel experts for recommendations of places that are ideal for visitors who don’t drink, from destinations with cultures that don’t emphasize drinking to those that offer a variety of nighttime activities.

Of course, you can go anywhere if you’re sober. As travel blogger Melissa Giroux said, someone who doesn’t drink doesn’t have to travel differently than people who do.

“I’ve been sober for six years, and I’m pretty convinced I can travel anywhere I want,” she said, adding that she enjoys going out dancing. “To be fair, it might not be the case for everyone, and it could even get harder if you recently quit drinking.”

Indeed, certain travel destinations can seem more sober-friendly than others. Keep scrolling for 19 options for people who want to avoid temptation or would prefer a place that isn’t centered around alcohol.

Sri Lanka

“I’ve felt much more confident as a sober traveler in parts of Asia and Africa, where a large percentage of the local people don’t drink alcohol for religious or cultural reasons. In predominantly Buddhist or Muslim cultures, sobriety is totally normal. Sri Lanka is my favorite country I’ve traveled through recently because it has endless options for outdoor activities and the local culture is intriguing and welcoming.” ― Carrie Hoffman, world traveler and co-founder of the alcohol-free Bigger Life Adventures yoga and adventure retreat

Japan

“I had the opportunity to travel to Kyoto, Kobe and Tokyo at five months pregnant, so no booze for me! I didn’t even miss it with all the delicious food, the sights and the views. It’s sensory overload ― you want to be sober to take it all in. Although beer and sake are common in restaurants, you don’t have waiters pushing for alcohol as you see in the States. You can easily pair your meals with tea or water.” ― Jessica van Dop, travel media specialist and blogger at The Dining Traveler

Seoul

“There are so many fun things to do in Seoul that don’t involve alcohol. One thing that is a must is shopping at the night market. Yes, there are huge markets that only open at night, closing at 5 a.m. Almost everything you can imagine is sold, from clothes and stationery to kitchen supplies. Korea is known for its street food, and there’s so much to eat! Where there’s a night market, there’s street food. It’s not unusual to be walking around at 1 a.m. with spicy rice cakes in one hand and grilled squid on a stick in the other.

With restaurants, cafes, and spas that are open 24 hours, there’s so much to do that’s not centered around drinking. I don’t drink alcohol but I drink a lot of tea, so I’m always seeking out tea houses scattered around Seoul. There’s a wide range from modern to traditional tea houses, and it’s always fun for me to try them out. I usually end up learning a lot about the country’s culture through tea. In my travels, I always bring back tea as a souvenir.” ― Jee Choe, digital designer and blogger at Oh, How Civilized

Los Angeles

“While I’m a little biased toward my own city, Los Angeles is a great option for sober travel. You can hike and surf in Malibu, find a day spa, play beach volleyball on the famous Manhattan Beach courts, take any number of Hollywood tours, and you’re always surrounded by healthy food. One of my favorite things to do with visitors is to find a vintage car rental for cruising the Pacific Coast Highway.” ― Rachel Medlock, blogger at Wayfaring Rachel

Sweden

“Scandinavian countries such as Sweden are great for non-drinkers. Not only are drinks quite expensive at restaurants and bars, but also in Sweden, hard liquor is only sold through government-controlled stores called Systembolaget.” ― Lola Akinmade Åkerström, travel writer and National Geographic photographer

Santorini

“Santorini isn’t a party island like Mykonos, so nightlife on this island isn’t all about drinking. The days are filled with beaches, hikes, gyros and frappes. At night is when the town comes to life ― all the shops and restaurants are brightly lit and open late. It’s the perfect time to go shopping. You can also watch a movie at the outdoor cinema, have a late dinner at 10 p.m., or sit in the cool breeze overlooking the ocean at a cafe. Santorini is great for people who don’t drink since there are other things to do other than go to bars.” ― Choe

Morocco

“Consider going to certain Muslim-majority destinations. For example, alcohol is available in Morocco, but it’s not part of the culture. There might be alcohol served in certain hotel bars, or you could maybe purchase it from a single shop somewhere that doesn’t really advertise it, but broadly speaking alcohol is not a big thing. Morocco also happens to be an amazing destination with buzzing markets, ancient maze-like cities with windy streets and the Sahara Desert. It’s one of those countries where you can enjoy a coffee or a shisha but where alcohol is mostly out of sight and out of mind.”― Marek Bron, travel blogger at Indie Traveller

Mexico City

“Get away from the parties at the beach. Mexico City is full of history, culture, architecture, museums and great food. It is also one of the safest places in Mexico.” ―Shawn Coomer, founder and managing editor of Miles to Memories, and Mark Ostermann, senior editor at Miles to Memories

Whistler, British Columbia

“I love a spa vacation to indulge without imbibing. After tapping into a wellness-focused environment, passing on alcohol feels even easier. My favorite is the Scandinave Day Spa in Whistler for a tranquil spot tucked away in the mountains. You’ll walk around the indoor-outdoor spa in fluffy robes, jumping between heated environments (steam rooms, saunas, hot tubs), cold treatments (ice pools), and relaxation solariums or cozy fireplaces.” ― Medlock

Malaysia

“Alcohol is pretty widely available in Malaysia, but it’s taxed heavily and consumption is much more moderate than in some neighboring countries. Whereas in Thailand, alcohol gets sold to tourists in very large quantities (even in buckets in the most commercialized tourist areas!), Malaysia takes it very easy. That’s why I think Malaysia can be an amazing tropical destination for anyone wishing to avoid alcohol altogether.” ― Bron

“[There are] countries that have stricter alcohol regulations but are still dream vacation destinations, like Malaysia. These countries would be better suited for the solo traveler, the adventurer or self-planner. If you prefer the city, places like Kuala Lumpur and Georgetown should be high on your list. I fell in love with all of the street art in Georgetown and the melding of the three cultures; Malay, Chinese and Indian result in fantastic options for any foodie.” ― Annette Richmond, blogger and travel journalist.

Colombia

“As a solo female traveler in Latin America, I choose not to drink mostly for safety reasons, but partially because I just hate hangovers. When I first started traveling, I didn’t go out after dark. So I always chose places where there was a lot to do during the day. This way I didn’t feel like I was missing out. Then when I moved to Colombia, everything changed. I discovered salsa and bachata dancing. This enabled me to get up the confidence to go out after dark on my own and not feel pressured to drink. I also never felt like a loner, as I would spend the night dancing rather than sitting down. I recommend Medellin in Colombia or Antigua in Guatemala as two destinations I felt very safe traveling solo and have great salsa and bachata scenes. I could go out every night of the week in both of these places and dance the night away without needing a drop of alcohol. I did need a lot of water, though!” ― Claire Summers, travel blogger at Claire’s Itchy Feet

Budapest

“Budapest is full of thermal baths and day spas, with plenty of cultural activities as well. Skip the party crowd at Széchenyi and opt for the quieter Gellért or Lukács baths. When you get tired of soaking, you can explore Buda Castle, hike Gellért Hill, or visit any number of monuments and museums.” ― Medlock

Peru

“Due to the altitude, one of the things that is recommended is not to consume alcohol your first week in Cuzco. If you’re in Peru for Machu Picchu or the nature of the Andes, you will probably have very early mornings that are motivation enough not to drink! Bonus: Peru had delicious nonalcoholic drinks, such as indigenous herbal teas and chichas made from corn and other fruit flavors.” ― van Dop

New York City

“Even though there is a big bar scene in New York, there are also tons of options outside of that ― Central Park, Statue of Liberty, museums, Staten Island Ferry, Chelsea Market, the High Line, etc. There are a lot of options for a weekend trip.” ― Ostermann and Coomer

The Maldives

“If you’re all about soaking in that ‘Vitamin Sea’ while on vacay, try the Maldives. This tropical country is comprised of over 1,000 coral islands. As a Muslim country, you’d be hard-pressed to find alcohol outside of the tourist islands. So live like a local and forgo some of the comforts of Western societies. Immerse yourself in the culture and stay in a more affordable location, as tourist traps are generally more expensive. However, you can still explore these places by ferry if you want to spend some time island hopping.” ― Richmond

Bandon, Oregon

“A golfer’s dream with some of the best public courses in the U.S. in the same area. There are also hiking trails and a beautiful coastline.” ― Ostermann and Coomer

India

“I’m biased toward India, my home country, especially if you get off the beaten track and explore the incredible beauty and culture of the countryside. I recommend sustainable travel options for a meaningful trip.” ― Shivya Nath, travel blogger at The Shooting Star

Triglav National Park, Slovenia

“This stunning park that sits on the Slovenian Alps is the perfect place to reconnect with nature. With the idyllic waterfalls, snowcapped mountains and turquoise streams, your mind is more focused on taking in the sights than getting your buzz on. Dealing with the altitude and hikes will detract you from late nights of drinking!” ― van Dop

Bangladesh

“Though drinking is often legal for non-Muslims, drinking is usually done out of sight behind closed doors in Bangladesh. Rather than be pressured into pub crawls, wine tastings and drinks on the terrace everywhere you look, you can easily focus on historical sights, tropical landscapes and, best of all, sober exchanges with equally sober locals. The only caveat: You may be pressured to drink copious amounts of sugary ― but delicious ― tea.” ― Alex Reynolds, travel blogger at Lost With Purpose

The post 19 Great Places To Travel For Non-Drinkers appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Promising Therapy For Alcohol Abuse

From Science Daily:

Alcohol abuse is among the leading causes of preventable death in the United States, killing more than 88,000 people a year, according to the Centers for Disease Control. That total is higher than the combined death tolls of HIV/AIDS, gun violence and car crashes. Despite this, current medications are not highly effective in addressing alcohol abuse.

A University of Rhode Island College of Pharmacy professor is working to change that, and a new clinical trial is right around the corner. Fatemeh Akhlaghi, the Ernest Mario Distinguished Chair in Pharmaceutics, is part of a team working to develop a novel medication to treat alcohol use disorder, the term scientists and health practitioners use.

Funded by a $1.65 million grant from the National Center for Advancing Translational Sciences, a branch of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the URI team is testing the safety and efficacy of a drug originally developed by Pfizer to treat obesity and diabetes. The grant formalizes a partnership among Akhlaghi, Pfizer and Dr. Lorenzo Leggio, chief of the Section on Clinical Psycho-neuroendocrinology and Neuro-psychopharmacology, an NIH laboratory funded by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism and the National Institute on Drug Abuse.

The drug focuses on ghrelin, a peptide with 28 amino acids that stimulates appetite and food intake. Known as “the hunger hormone,” ghrelin levels and feelings of hunger increase in tandem. In those with alcohol use disorder, higher concentrations of ghrelin are associated with higher alcohol craving and consumption. The researchers believe that an oral medication that blocks ghrelin may help stave off cravings for alcohol. Initial findings have shown positive results in lab rats and in 12 patients who volunteered for a study at NIH. The result of this study was published last month in the journal Molecular Psychiatry.

“Addictions share similar pathways in the brain — food addiction, alcohol addiction, drug addiction. If this drug can block the ghrelin receptor, even if you have high ghrelin level, your ghrelin receptors become numb, and do not respond to the hunger signal,” said Akhlaghi, co-principal investigator on the study. “In 12 patients, there was a statistically significant reduction in alcohol craving and food craving. The main outcome was that the drug was safe and well-tolerated, did not affect alcohol pharmacokinetics, and that there was a significant dampening of the effect of ghrelin.”

The researchers are working on a larger placebo-controlled clinical trial to further test the medication on patients who misuse alcohol. Researchers will study the impact of the medication on patients’ alcohol cue response using functional magnetic resonance imaging to determine the drug’s efficacy.

“The drugs that are available to treat alcohol use disorder either came from opioids or other drugs that make you have an aversive effect if you drink, and each of them has only small effects,” Akhlaghi said. “The study with the 12 patients shows potential success, although the results are clearly very preliminary and in need for replication. In the new phase, we are looking at the efficacy of the drug. We cannot say this is a cure; we can say it is a promising therapy.”

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Substance Abuse: Increasing Empathy, Reducing Stigma Matters

It’s no secret that substance abuse is a serious issue affecting people of all ages, including young individuals. According to Julia Breur, Ph.D, LMFT, a clinical psychotherapist in Boca Raton, Florida, “one in ten children ages 12-17 use illicit drugs.” Dr. Breur adds that “more than two thirds of this age group who are substance abusers also suffer from mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, body image and eating disorders.”

Rachael Robiner knows this all too well. Her son struggled with substance abuse problems throughout some of his college years, an eye-opening experience which ultimately prompted her to become a Parent Coach with the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, an organization largely dedicated to working with families to address the highly-stigmatized issue of adolescent substance use and addiction. Fortunately, her son overcame his addictions after a long, challenge-filled road including time at a detox facility. He’s faced nothing but success since: not only is he a recent college graduate, but he’s been sober since February 2015.

Empathy: It Can Help Families Cope, But It’s Lacking

As a parent coach, Robiner helps mothers and fathers who have been affected by their child’s substance abuse (to include those who have lost children, who are in recovery, or who are still actively using) in a manner free of judgement and full of support. What’s key, she says, is bringing to the forefront an important issue often lacking in society when it comes to dealing with substance abuse: an in-depth understanding of addiction to include the need to replace the stigma often surrounding it with more empathy. She explains that it’s important for parents to “have more empathy with our children,” and to not see certain behaviors like lying as something personal. “It’s not the child doing the lying,” she says, but rather the result of how “addiction affects the brain, making them think they have to lie.”

“Parents need to stop being quick to judge or jump to conclusions with their teenagers,” says Dr. Breur. “Parents should want their teenager to be able to feel comfortable about needing and wanting help.” She explains that at times, parents may think that an intelligent child is synonymous with a mature child, capable of making wise judgments about drugs and alcohol. “The part of the human brain that is responsible for judgment, the prefrontal cortex, does not fully develop until approximately age 25,” she says. “The brain’s limbic system which controls emotional responses and impulses develops at a faster rate than the prefrontal cortex that is responsible for decision making and judgment. For teens this means their brain is often relying more on emotions and impulses than decision making and judgment. It’s harder for teens to make measured, thought-out decisions.”

6 Tips for Parents and Anyone Who is a Part of a Child’s Support System 

1. Put Yourself in Your Child’s Shoes

“It’s important to put yourself in your child’s shoes,” says Pat Aussem. She works with Partnership’s parent coaching program, and is a Master Addictions Counselor with the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, where she has also volunteered as a parent coach. “Try to learn more about what’s driving the behavior – usually there are underlying reasons behind substance abuse,” she says. “People often feel that substance abuse will solve their problems.” Work with your child to better understand why they may be engaging in such behaviors.

2. Parents: Make Your Feelings About Substance Abuse Known

Parents: don’t think your thoughts don’t matter. Take the time to clearly express your feelings about substance abuse. “Parents need to let their children know how they feel about alcohol and illicit drug use before they become teenagers,” says Dr. Breur. “Teenagers who know their parents disapprove of alcohol abuse and drug use are less likely to use.” This is not the time for parents to adopt a “laissez-faire” attitude, chalking this up to a phase or “kids being kids.”  Dr. Breur explains that experimenting with drugs and alcohol can yield serious consequences ranging from car accidents to deadly overdoses. Communication is essential.

3. Avoid Negative Statements and Assumptions

Sometimes, it’s easy to lash out verbally or make hasty assumptions than it is to take a step back to consider the “why” behind certain behaviors. However, doing so illustrates a lack of understanding that can potentially put a strain on families while also reinforcing unfair drug-related stigmas. “There have been many times when either a parent of someone I am coaching or someone in my support group has expressed their feelings as to the disgust they feel in regard to their loved ones addiction,” says Robin Star, Parent Coach, Partnership for Drug-Free Kids. “They show their lack of empathy by stating things like, ‘they should just stop’’ and ‘if they did not try it in the first place, they would not be where they are – they are obviously stupid.’”

But such thoughts only add fuel to the stigma fire, according to Pat Aussem. Calling someone with a substance abuse disorder a  “loser” or any other negative term, she explains, without trying to understand where that person is coming from, only keeps unfair stereotypes going. She says that it’s important to think of this as a medical issue that needs to be addressed rather than treating these people as addicted “losers” who should avoided or met with constant confrontation.

4. Think Twice About Interacting with Experts Who Don’t Exhibit Compassion/Understanding

If you’re meeting with a medical professional to help your loved one, be sure that he or she considers – and tends to – all aspects of your particular situation.

“When my 17-year old son was struggling with both heavy marijuana use as well as anxiety and severe depression,” says David Huntley, Parent Coach, Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, “his prescribing psychiatrist declined to diagnose and treat his clinical depression until he stopped using dope for an extended period of time.” Huntley explains that the doctor felt the marijuana use “muddied the diagnostic waters,” although it was obvious to Huntley and his family that their son “was self-medicating for the anxiety and depression but was also addicted to the marijuana.” Sadly, Huntley says that his son took his life while “crashing from shooting cocaine, a drug that gave him suicidal thoughts/ideations.”

He says that “this lack of empathy from a medical professional with what our son was experiencing had the effect of delaying treatment for the depression and anxiety, prolonging our son’s suffering and distress — which was considerable — and ignoring the substance use problem. It was a nasty trifecta.”

His story illustrates the importance of providing a deeper level of understanding and care in these kinds of situations, which he emphasizes in his role as a parent coach. “In all of the families I have coached to date, making a simple change in how the parents communicated with their child, by them adopting some level of compassion and empathy for what the child was going through and struggling with, made a significant positive difference in the outcome for the child who was struggling with substance use,” he says. “This positive change wasn’t always dramatic, but I would say it was always significant in the process of getting the child the help they needed and in changing the parent-child relationship for the better.”

5. Try Reflective Dialogue

So, how best to communicate with your child? Do so in an empathetic manner, free of accusatory or guilt-inducing tones (“Why are you doing this to our family?” “What’s wrong with you?”) Instead, Dr. Breur suggests using reflective dialogue, which she says “is a form of communication that demonstrates kindness and empathy by strategically expanding the capacity for listening and cultivating individual reflection.”

Its main goals involve resisting the urge to offer easy solutions to problems, asking honest and open-ended questions, and trying to understand various view points while sharing your own. “Reflective dialogue is not a way to compete,” Dr. Breur says. “Rather, it’s a way that everybody wins because everyone walks away with a deeper understanding of themselves and others who participated in the dialogue. It can allow a teenager to share their thoughts and work through the intellectual and emotional implications of substance abuse.”

6. Know – and Access – Available Resources

In addition to considering working with a parent coach or psychotherapist, there are also online resources to help families better navigate the complexities inherent in their child’s substance abuse/addictions. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, for example, has many informational materials available, including a detailed video to help identify intravenous opioid use. Many therapists also offer sessions over the phone or via Skype.

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6 Ways To Know The Ones You Love Don’t Love You Back

Unrequited love happens in families a lot. We hear a lot of stories about people who feel they’re being destroyed by loved ones who just…don’t act loving. What is that about. When people you love make you feel horrible, it’s hard to believe, and almost impossible to accept, that they’re just not into you. In fact, they may not love you at all. When do you know that what your gut tells you is true?

Unrequited Love Hurts In So Many Ways

It’s confusing. Loved ones may say they may want you around for a lot of reasons. They may want you for the façade of happy family, or happy marriage. They may believe (or know) you give good presents or money when they need it. But if you feel bad whenever you speak to them, or when they put you off or ignore you, they’re sending you a message. “I just don’t care about you.” Believe it.

Here are 6 Red Flags That You Are Anything But Loved

Denying There’s Anything Wrong

You’re not included. Your loved one has better things to do when you come to town. He/she stands you up. You can’t get him/her on the phone. You feel horrible and ask what’s going on. Your loved one says it’s all in your head, “You jealous freak, you.”

Not Listening To Anything You Say

You’re always wrong. When you disagree with a loved one and he/she lawyers you to death, it’s demoralizing. You’re battered with a dozen reasons you’re wrong. You may feel you don’t exist. And for your loved one, you don’t. There is no way you will ever win an argument or be right about anything.

Triangulating Against You

Your loved one enlists others, your friends or family, into taking sides against you by telling bad things about you. Ganging up at any age makes you into the bad guy that deserves shunning or shaming.

Keeping Secrets

There’s a lot you’re excluded from. Your loved one doesn’t want you to know what’s going on in his/her life, or hides other important facts from you. You make mistakes based on incorrect information. You feel you’re in the dark, and you are.

Gaslighting

Your loved one denies things he/she did, or lies about things you actually know the truth about. Gaslighting constantly puts you on shifting ground so that you never know what’s real. Gaslighting is intended to control and drive you crazy.

Blaming and Shaming

You’re blamed for everything–from tiny things that aren’t perfect–to everything that’s gone wrong in the family, friendship, marriage and every relationship since the beginning of time. You’re also reminded of every mistake and humiliating thing you ever did.

Unrequited Love May Be Insensitivity

Sometimes people are not aware they hurt you and can be taught to be more sensitive. If they love you, they will listen to your concerns, apologize and make adjustments. When they won’t listen, make excuses, or blame you for having legitimate feelings, however, they know exactly what they’re doing. They won’t change, and you need to find new, and trustworthy, people to love.

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How Your Brain Can Sabotage Your Summer Diet

From Healthline.com:

As the thought of getting in a bathing suit looms, quick-fix diets can be tempting. A few weeks of restrictive eating and cutting calories and you’ll be to your ideal shape, right?

Unfortunately, short-term diets — no matter what kind they are — tend to backfire pretty easily.

“The hormonal and neural control of weight loss is incredibly complicated, which is why weight loss can be so easy in theory, and yet so difficult in practice,” explains Dr. Elizabeth Lowden, bariatric endocrinologist at the Northwestern Medicine Metabolic Health and Surgical Weight Loss Center at Delnor Hospital.

“Our brains are incredibly sophisticated when it comes to managing our energy balance, and weight gain tends to be a maladaptive response,” she explains.
Your body doesn’t want to lose weight

This is due in part to a “set point” and “settling point” weight, says Dana Hunnes, PhD, RD, senior dietitian at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center. “We have a genetic predisposition to be a certain weight — a set point — but, there is some wiggle room when it comes to how our environment interacts with our genetic predispositions.”

This wiggle room is our “settling point,” and can be affected by things like the foods we eat and our exercise habits.

Think of it like a thermostat that’s set on a program to be 70 degrees at all times, explains Lowden.

“You can change the thermostat down to 65 degrees, but eventually that program is going to kick in that bumps the temperature back up,” Lowden says.

That’s why it might not be so difficult to lose a couple of pounds, but lose too many and you set off the thermostat.

When you’re below the weight that your body is most comfortable with, you’ll be fighting your hormones to maintain it, says Lowden.

Your hormones know when you’re dieting

When you start to restrict your food intake, the hypothalamus and pituitary parts of the brain receive signals from various organs, recognizing the decreased energy sources coming in to the body, and adjusting hormone levels as a way to counteract this decrease, Lowden explains.

“Your hunger hormones can go up and fullness hormones go down, leading to a very significant drive to eat more food, particularly those very palatable foods that are high in energy density — aka, everything you have been trying to avoid while dieting,” she said.

Dr. Bartolome Burguera, endocrinologist and director of obesity programs at the Endocrinology & Metabolism Institute at Cleveland Clinic explains that the body has ways of rebelling.

“After you get below 4 to 5 percent of your original body weight, there are different compensatory mechanisms that are set off in the periphery, like the gut and brain, that try to bring you back to that original body weight,” says Burguera.

In 2007, a study in the International Journal of Obesity found that among women on a calorie restricted diet, those that lost more weight craved higher energy-dense foods after six months of dieting.

“It can be incredibly frustrating to lose 5 to 10 percent of your body weight only to have your body start to seemingly work against you,” says Lowden.

We’re equipped with a survival response that makes weight loss tricky

On top of your hormones being thrown out of whack, if you’re extremely restrictive with your food intake, your body can go into starvation mode — where your body starts to conserve energy rather than burn it.

Your body burns energy two ways, Burguera says. One through physical activity, the other through all of the vital functions your body performs just to stay alive, like respiration and digestion.

 

This is called your basal metabolic rate. When you start to lose weight, your brain tries to prevent this by changing your basal metabolic rate, so you end up burning fewer calories.

“Before, maybe it took 1,200 calories to keep your body running,” explains Burguera. “Now, your body gets nervous because you are losing weight and it says ‘let’s try to do the same work, just by burning 1,000 calories.”

You become more efficient — which would have been great if you were a caveman hunting for your next meal, less so when you’re just trying to look good in a swimsuit.

Severely restricted dieting also causes people to lose muscle mass, which contributes heavily to metabolic rate, further slowing the metabolism.

Even if you’re able to maintain lean mass through exercise, research shows it’s not enough to mitigate the changes in resting metabolic rate.

You can still lose weight, just without “dieting”

So how are humans supposed to lose weight when our very physiology is stacked against us?“There is no way to trick our brains into not having these responses, but there are certainly healthier ways to diet,” says Lowden.

Hunnes recommends eating high-fiber, water-rich foods like fruits, vegetables, and whole grains in bulk.

“The fiber keeps you fuller longer, and the water content increases the volume of the foods you are eating while keeping the calorie intake lower,” Hunnes says.

Eating healthy fats such as avocado, olive oil, and nuts will also increase satiety, she adds. In fact, a long-term high-fat Mediterranean diet — rich in nuts and olive oil — is linked to weight loss.

Burguera says the key to weight loss is a long-term lifestyle approach, not short-term diets.

He also recommends looking at some of the other environmental factors that can modulate your “set point.”

Getting sufficient sleep (a minimum of six hours), decreasing your stress levels, consuming enough vitamin D, getting regular exercise, and maintaining a healthy gut microbiota can all help.

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