Jonathan Carroll's Blog, page 7

Two Good Things

I was talking to C one day about this new idea I had. I call it Two Good Things. The concept is really simple — every day we should all try to do at least 2 good things for others. They can be big or small: Help a stranger on the street when they ask for directions. Give something useful to the homeless. Be kind to people who serve you in any way (shopkeepers, waiters, street sweepers…). Take out the trash for your elderly neighbor across the hall.

As I said, they can be big or small things an...

Fallout

She had one of those painfully enlightening insights into her character that in the end proved useless. It happens to all of us. Because when we discover or recognize certain failings in ourselves, it does nothing to improve our understanding of why, or how to change. Even with this new self-knowledge we keep repeating the same mistakes. The discovery only makes us feel sad, empty, and too often leaves our spirit scarred:
I am who I am — forever.
Realizing that can sometimes be a horrible thi...

Over Easy

I want to eat breakfast at one of those dumpy diners you see in black and white photos or movies from the 1930’s and 40’s. I want to watch a cook in a stained apron and cockeyed paper hat fry me three eggs and hash brown potatoes in glistening bacon grease and then slap the full heavy white plate down in front of me with a smirk when he’s done. Maybe he’ll even say something James Cagney’esque like “Enjoy it, bud.” The two guys sitting next to me, workers in overalls or guys in snappy suits a...

Do Not Go Gentle…

I see him almost every day somewhere in the neighborhood. He always wears the same thing — a perfectly white summer suit over a spotless white shirt buttoned to the neck, no matter the season. Long silver hair swept back, but carefully trimmed and managed. He looks to be in his late 60’s- early 70’s. If you saw him standing still somewhere you might think that guy looks like a cloud, but why the hell is he wearing a suit in this hot/cold weather? The answer is in seeing him walk. He has the s...

You’re perfect, but don’t ask me to explain why

photo by Moshsen Rastani

“Describe your perfect cup of coffee,” she said.
I assumed she was kidding but she wasn’t. I thought about it a while. Then the writer in me, Mr. Word Expert, tried to verbalize it.
When I was finished and had failed miserably she said, “It only gets worse the further into it you go. Try to describe what you think is the perfect cup of coffee or the perfect girlfriend, meal, dog, car… whatever. You can only recognize perfection when you see it, but you can’t describe i...

Our Back Pages

The simple act of buying a book is in itself a profoundly optimistic gesture. In doing so, the buyer is in effect saying I am still curious about life, the world, and people — how they work, dream, live and die. I still want to know more about these things because they go to the heart of my matter. Curiosity of this kind is almost always a good and positive sign.

Our Back Pages was originally published in Jonathan Carroll on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting...

The Night Watch

The first time they went to bed, he entered the room and she said “You’re wearing a different watch.”
He glanced at it, as if seeing the black rubber thing on his wrist for the first time. He said tentatively, “It’s my night watch.”
“You change watches before going to bed?”
“Yes. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and want to know what time it is. This one has a very bright dial.”
“Why?”
Looking at her dark nail polish, he wished they weren’t having this conversation. “Why do I want t...

Hospital Days forever

He lived those barren, soul-stripped days as if he were in a hospital recovering from a major operation that kept his spirit bedridden. During that time of his life, his whole attitude was — as soon as I recover from this, as soon as I regain my strength, perspective, balance… I can leave this ‘place’ and return to my real life. The problem being those were the real days of his life. No matter where we are or what we’re doing when they happen, ‘hospital days’, the helpless ones that lay us lo...

You, Imagined

It is cloudy this morning so I imagine you sitting indoors somewhere in weather like this, staring out at the grayness. It is chilly too, so you’re wearing a thin coat or thick sweater, plum colored or ochre. Your fingernails are dark red but your lips are pale. Are you meeting someone? Or are you alone the whole day? Are you talking animatedly to a friend or silent, your hands still? Hands are not important to me although I know they are crucial to some people when describing their dream mat...

Unwanted Gifts

After they broke up, she continued to send him things in the mail occasionally. Nothing big or significant — CD’s she made of favorite music, new books she read and liked, small stuff. She did it simply because she thought he’d like them too and wanted to share them even though they no longer had contact. Just a nice gesture, nothing more.

According to the rules of romance however you’re not supposed to do that after you’ve stopped seeing someone. But who made those rules? She had loved him ve...