Jonathan Carroll's Blog, page 69

CarrollBlog 11.21

"We value love not because it's stronger than death but because it's weaker. Say what you want about love: death will finish it. You will not go on loving in the grave, not in any physical way that will at all resemble love as we know it on earth. The perishable nature of love is what gives love its importance in our lives. If it were endless, if it were on tap, love wouldn't hit us the way it does.

— Jeffrey Eugenides

CarrollBlog 11.20

She appeared again today and this time I felt like going over to her and saying leave-- just go away and let him have this space, this place, this hour in his day when he can be alone to work on something obviously important to him without you here to make him feel young and silly. The boy started coming to the gym a few weeks ago. I usually go midmorning and at that time the place is used by a few regular hardcore lifters and bodybuilders, some retirees on the treadmills, and a very...

CarrollBlog 11.19

There was a prominent article in the New York Times recently about how what a person reads can make or break a relationship. One woman said if she's dating a guy and finds out he likes to read, say, John Grisham novels then she's all but certain the relationship will never work because she prefers more top shelf, serious fiction. The article went on to say a lot of people interviewed felt the same way to one degree or another. As I read I kept thinking are they *nuts*? This is insane: The...

CarrollBlog 11.18

My parents lived in New York for many years. A very small old man lived on the top floor of their building. I used to bump into him now and then when I visited the folks. He was always dressed in a perfectly tailored three piece suit, thick silk tie, and white shirt with cuff links. We smiled and nodded at each other but never spoke. One day when I was with my father we ran into him in the hall and were introduced. His name was Lewis Galantiere and from the way he dressed and spoke, he was...

CarrollBlog 11.17

They agreed the movie was terrific. A love story, it ended sadly with the woman committing suicide. Walking out of the theater afterwards, his girlfriend said she liked the film but it bugged her how often people in movies commit suicide for love. How many people do that in real life? It's just pure Hollywood, melodramatic nonsense. He stopped and stared at her strangely. "The woman doesn't kill herself for *love*. She kills herself because she knows at that moment in her life she's as happy ...

CarrollBlog 11.16

After they broke up, she continued to send him things in the mail occasionally. Nothing big-- CD's she made of favorite music, new books she read and liked, small stuff. She did it simply because she thought he would like them too and she wanted to share them even though they no longer had contact. Just a nice thing to do. According to the rules of romance you're not supposed to do that after you've stopped seeing someone, but who made those rules? She had loved him and they were very happy o...

CarrollBlog 11.15

The Sum of Man

by Norah Pollard

In autumn,

facing the end of his life,

he moved in with me.

We piled his belongings—

his army-issue boots, knife magazines,

Steely Dan tapes, his grinder, drill press,

sanders, belts and hacksaws—

in a heap all over the living room floor.

For two weeks he walked around the mess.

One night he stood looking down at it all

and said: "The sum total of my existence."

Emptiness in his voice.

Soon after, as if the sum total

needed to be expanded, he b...

CarrollBlog 11.14

Coming towards me is a ravaged junkie. One of those young dirt-covered, head nodding, eyes half-closed, slow wobbly-walking sad cases you can pretty much bet will either be dead or in a hospital before the year is out. Someone I know calls them '4th Dimension People' because they don't really live here anymore. They're somewhere else-- sort of alive, sort of dead, sort of in a 4th dimension someplace we earth inhabitants have never been or experienced. I start to walk a wide arc around him...

CarrollBlog 11.13

She said: I think about you every day.

He said: I think about you all day long.

CarrollBlog 11.12

Years ago I saw her almost every day walking with her daughter. The two women were inseparable. I never saw either of them with a man, so I just assumed the father was gone. They always appeared to be having intense conversations. It was clear from the way they spoke that they took each other seriously. Both dressed nicely and with care, as if they were on their way to somewhere special whenever you encountered them. Then one day I saw the woman walking alone. It surprised me because I could ...