Christine Valters Paintner's Blog, page 31

Easter Blessings! ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess

Dearest monks, artists, and pilgrims,

We wish you radiant blessings of Easter and the joy of new life out of death!

Next Saturday, Lerita Coleman Brown will be leading a retreat for us on the wisdom of Howard Thurman and the healing power of mystical love.

Here is a brief excerpt from her wonderful book What Makes You Come Alive where she explores Thurman’s wisdom about anchoring ourselves in a radical trust in God’s love:

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One night in 1910, Howard Thurman’s mother woke him up and coaxed him outside. She wanted him to catch a glimpse of Halley’s Comet, which is only visible from earth about every seventy-five years. Thurman’s father had died a few years earlier. Looking up at the comet blazing against the Florida sky that night, young Howard asked his mother what would happen if the comet fell to earth. She looked at Howard with great serenity. He need not worry, his mother told him, because God would take care of them. 

This experience stayed with Thurman his entire life. “It was not until my experience with Halley’s Comet that there began to emerge a faint but growing sense of personal destiny, religious in tone and spiritual in accent,” he writes in his autobiography. Ever since, he claims, “I have never been totally cut off from a sense of the guidance of my life. . . It was more than mere ego-affirmation, as important as it is—it was a clue to my self-worth in the profoundest sense. It was the shield against the denigration of my environment; but much, much more.”                  

Howard Thurman narrates this same event in Jesus and the Disinherited: “The majestic power of my mother’s glowing words has come back again and again, beating out its rhythmic chant in my own spirit,” he writes. “Here are the faith and the awareness that overcome fear and transform it into the power to strive, to achieve, and not to yield.” Without intending to describe a psychological phenomenon, Howard Thurman points to the way that anchoring ourselves in God leads to high levels of self-esteem and self-efficacy. As he notes, a formidable faith and assurance springs from the conviction that “I am a holy child of God.” It exudes a reliance on God’s guidance and protection. Marcus Borg would later describe this same stance espoused by Jesus as more than a mere belief in God but, rather, as a radical trust in God.

As I closed my heavily underlined copy of Thurman’s autobiography, I kept thinking of that moment between a young Howard and his mother, the way she used a child’s question to strengthen his sense of being God’s beloved child. That scene illumines so much. Howard Thurman wanted people to see themselves as creations of God and to convey that same awareness to children. This certainty—that he was a holy child of God—anchored and guided Thurman. He understood that knowing, believing, internalizing, and acting from a divine center transforms all of life. How could he spark this wisdom in other denigrated human spirits: Black people in America who yearned to know and express their authentic selves?

Thurman garnered immense personal strength from defining himself based on his spirit, his inner self, rather than by attributes projected onto him by society. Understanding what it meant to be a holy child of God—to possess a spiritual self—he discovered its link to self-esteem, achievement, and self-actualization. In one recorded conversation, Thurman describes it this way: “It goes back to my childhood, because I had constantly to affirm my own self in an environment that reduced me to zero, an environment in which I had no standing, as it were. I was driven to find in the grounds of my being that which transcended everything in my environment (external to me). Once I hit it, then I knew I was home free, that the environment could never destroy me because at my center I would never say “yes” to the external judgment of me [as a Black man]” . . .  

. . . Thurman often recounted a tale his grandmother (Nancy Ambrose) told to him and his two sisters. She would say, “Once or twice a year, the slave master would permit a slave preacher from a neighboring plantation to come over to preach to his slaves . . . But this preacher, when he had finished would pause, his eyes scrutinizing every face in the congregation, and then he would tell them, ‘You are not niggers! You are not slaves! You are God’s children!’ When my grandmother got to that part of her story, there would be a slight stiffening in her spine as we sucked in our breath. When she had finished, our spirits were restored.”

Luther Smith, Jr., in his wonderful book Howard Thurman: Mystic as Prophet, writes, “Nancy Ambrose was the first to teach Thurman that spirituality sustains one in the midst of life’s many predicaments . . . She witnessed to the power of her spirituality to meet one of the fundamental demands of life’s hierarchy of needs: the need to survive as a slave. This survival function of religion is not just addressing the condition of the body, but the survival of an identity—that center of a person which gives definition to one’s being.” 

Thus, from an early age, Thurman learned from his grandmother’s and mother’s example, which included many religious practices such as prayer, Bible reading, church attendance, and spiritual conversations. Through their stories and modeling, young Howard became partially inoculated against the oppressive, racist messages surrounding him. Throughout his life he could survive and even thrive in an atmosphere that denied his humanity. 

(excerpted from Lerita Coleman Brown, What Makes You Come Alive—A Spiritual Walk with Howard Thurman, 63-67. Used with permission). 

***

What are the ways we shape our identity and sense of self by outside forces? How has our self-understanding been formed by the expectations of others? 

How does contemplative practice offer a doorway into liberation from these external limitations and free you to become fully yourself? How might Love become your deep anchor and grounding in life and all that you do and say? 

Join Lerita next Saturday as she explores the wisdom of Howard Thurman and his teachings on love. 

With great and growing love,

Christine

Christine Valters Paintner, PhD, REACE

Dancing Monk Icon by Marcy Hall (prints available on Etsy)

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NEW YouTube Channel!

We have a new YouTube channel! This is another resources we are pleased to offer our dancing monks where you can follow new posts in our Lift Every Voice book club, our Prayer Cycle series, Poetry Videos, and Tea with the Abbess.

Subscribe to the channel.

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Monk in the World Guest Post: Karen Kinney

I am delighted to share another beautiful submission to the Monk in the World guest post series from the community. Read on for Karen Kinney’s reflection Joy in “What Is” adapted from her book Doorways to Transformation: Everyday Wisdom for the Creative Soul.

“Whatever arises, love that.” —Matt Kahn

My husband and I climb the ancient stone steps of the 17th-century church, reaching the balcony that overlooks the orchestra and choir below. I am excited because we are coming to hear the complete rendition of Handel’s Messiah, and it has been decades since I listened to the entire work. And, it will be my first time hearing it performed in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, a town we have recently adopted as our home.

But upon reaching the balcony seating area, to my disappointment, there are only a few black folding chairs, some bleacher-style benches with no backs, and absolutely no view of the orchestra and choir below. We are pointed to the bleacher seating, and as we sit down on the cold metal bench, all we can see are people’s bodies in front of us. No one can glimpse the actual concert, except for a few people in the very first row of black folding chairs who attempt to peer through the wooden slats of the balcony railing. There is a blurry video projection of the orchestra and the singers on the wall to our immediate left. But not only is it out of focus, to watch it, we have to turn our heads at a 90-degree angle while our bodies remain facing forward.

At the prospect of sitting like this for three hours, I begin grumbling to my husband about the balcony seats being false advertising. And how could they sell “seating” in a place where we are unable to view the concert we’ve just paid for? However, if there is one thing I’ve learned from living in another country, it’s that you either roll with things or quite quickly die of frustration. Standards are different, as are expectations.

So, after grumbling for another ten minutes, I finally let myself listen to the beautiful music the orchestra has begun playing. I note the reactions of others in the same seating predicament as us, most of whom seem to be accepting the situation for what it is. Some sit with their eyes closed and focus on listening instead of straining to see something out of sight. Others choose to look at the blurry video projection, craning their necks at an odd angle, settling for at least a fuzzy glimpse of the action below.

As the music progresses, one anointed chorus after the next, I realize I can either continue to be grumpy and miss out on Handel’s work of art, or I can let the music overtake me and relish in the amazing acoustics of this ancient church. Handel was a genius, after all. And as each chorus is sung, I am reminded again of the extreme beauty of this musical masterpiece. The challenge before me is the age-old struggle of what is and what is not, and I will myself to focus on what is.

Slowly, I begin to absorb the notes into every fiber of my being. I let myself remember my years in high school choir, performing this piece with the school orchestra every December for an auditorium full of people. Right before the “Hallelujah” chorus rolls around, I stand up in anticipation and feel moved as others around me stand as well. Handel’s music fills the cavernous space of the church, and thunderous applause echoes in appreciation.

My experience of the concert could so easily have gone a different way. But the music had won, overcoming and subduing my inner struggle; it had captured my spirit and raised it to a higher plane.

Calling myself back to “now” in each moment and taking note of all the good that surrounds me is a powerful practice that assists me in finding joy—especially when circumstances fall short of my expectations. Sometimes, the simplest choices of where to point our focus are the hardest. But as we allow ourselves to marinate with appreciation in the what is of our days, we have the power to alter every moment of our present.

Reflections:

Where have you been focusing your attention of late?

In what ways can you shift your focus from the tyranny of “what is not” to the gift of “what is”?

Karen Kinney is the author of two books, a visual artist, freelance writer, and teacher living in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. She has pursued a multifaceted art career, exhibiting work nationally and internationally, and her articles and essays have appeared in numerous publications. Learn more at karenkinney.com.

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Origins + Mourning Pages ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess

Dearest monks, artists, and pilgrims,

I am delighted to share I have a third poetry collection being published on May 9th from Paraclete Press titled Love Holds You: Poems and Devotions for Times of Uncertainty. 

This poem is a series of questions that emerged from a moment of reverie and wondering for me. The whole collection is on the theme of love and in writing it, I found myself encountering love in all corners of this beautiful world. 

What is the impulse for a robin’s song? What is the source of a flower’s fragrance? Where do my own words come from? And when I say Love is at the foundation of everything what do I mean? Of course, there are scientific answers to some of these questions, but these are questions of the heart as well. What are the things you wonder about? 

Allow a few moments to quiet yourself and read the poem below slowly. Then watch the poem video and see if the images add anything. If you find them distracting, close your eyes and just listen to me reciting the poem to you. 

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OriginsIf I could peer far enough downa robin’s pulsing throat, would I seenotes piled there waiting to be flunginto freshness of morning?If I close my eyes and burrowmy face into peony’s petals,would I discover the source of its scent, a sacred offering?Can I plunge inside and find a lifetime of wordsspooled tightly inside my heartready for a tug?If I dig beneath the bedrock will I find love there, solid like iron or does it flow like magmafilling in all of the empty spaces?

*

Pause after reading and listening to contemplate for yourself what origins you wonder about? Spend some time in reflection. 

What happens when you stop and gaze with loving wonder upon some simple, quiet and unadorned element of nature that throws itself into the wild world, and you are the lucky recipient present to witness it into being?

You might want to engage with a breath prayer. Here is a suggestion:

Breathe in: Love is

Breathe out: the foundation

An affirmation to close your reflection: 

Love is at the foundation of all I do or am. There is no place empty of love.

You can order a copy of Love Holds You: Poems and Devotions for Times of Uncertainty at this link. (Paraclete is offering a 20% discount for pre-orders when you use the code LoveHoldsYou at ).

Join Simon and me tomorrow for our monthly contemplative prayer service on the theme of Holy Week. We have a special guest musician joining us as well, Te Martin will be sharing some of their passion for song with us. 

If you are feeling the weight of grief especially this year due to recent loss or other events, we are delighted to welcome Claudia Love Mair who will be leading us in a two-hour grief writing workshop called Mourning Pages this coming Friday. Join us for a way to honor Good Friday or listen to the recording later on to give your heart space to express its grief.

With great and growing love,

Christine

Christine Valters Paintner, PhD, REACE

Poem Video by Luke and Jake Morgan of MorganCreative.org

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April Tea with the Abbess

I so enjoyed our Tea with the Abbess session. Since I can’t pour you a cup of tea myself I led a brief meditation then shared some of our programs for April and answered a lot of great questions. Such a joyful time with our wonderful community.

We have a number of resources to support you in your contemplative journey including: 

April Lift Every Voice Book Club Outside the Lines: How Embracing Queerness with Transform Your Faith by Mihee Kim-Kort

Christine’s forthcoming collection – Love Holds You: Poems and Devotions for Times of Uncertainty

Abbey of the Arts Prayer Cycles – a free resource

Calendar of Upcoming Events

With great and growing love,

Christine

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Lift Every Voice: Contemplative Writers of Color – April Video Discussion and Book Group Materials Now Available

Join Abbey of the Arts for a monthly conversation on how increasing our diversity of perspectives on contemplative practice can enrich our understanding and experience of the Christian mystical tradition. 

Christine Valters Paintner is joined by author Claudia Love Mair for a series of video conversations. Each month they take up a new book by or about a voice of color. The community is invited to purchase and read the books in advance and participate actively in this journey of deepening, discovery, and transformation. 

This month’s selection is Outside the Lines: How Embracing Queerness Will Transform Your Faith by Mihee Kim-Kort.

Click here to view or listen to the full conversation along with questions for reflection.

Mihee Kim-Kort is a wife, a mom, and a Presbyterian minister. And she’s queer. As she became aware of her queer sexuality, Mihee wondered what that meant for her spirituality. But instead of pushing her away from God, it brought her closer to Jesus and taught her how to love better. In Outside the Lines, Mihee shows us how God, in Jesus, is oriented toward us in a radical way. Through the life, work, and witness of Jesus, we see a God who loves us with a queer love, and our faith in that God becomes a queer spirituality–a spirituality that crashes through definitions and moves us outside of the categories of our making. Whenever we love ourselves and our neighbors with the boundary-breaking love of God, we live out this spirituality in the world. With a captivating mix of personal story and biblical analysis, Outside the Lines shows us how each of our bodies fits into the body of Christ. Outside the lines and without exceptions.

Join our Lift Every Voice Facebook Group for more engagement and discussion.

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Monk in the World Guest Post: Dena Jennings

I am delighted to share another beautiful submission to the Monk in the World guest post series. Read on for Wisdom Council member Dena Jennings’ reflection Boundaries and Borders in Contemplative Life.

I imagine that modern walls of monastic cells, perimeters of abbeys, and the spaces to which cloistered monks retreat are not meant to confine as a prison, nor to keep the  world out, but to allow recesses for spiritual nourishment and focus. They serve as  physical boundaries to remind one of the dedication to this life. Being a monk in the  world calls for a different kind of boundary or border from virtuous and not so virtuous distractions. 

A single light on the welcome porch at our  Farmashramonastery in Nasons, Virginia

I’ve lived a life dedicated to God since I was 11-years old. One day, while on my knees  at the altar, I had a vision of things I had done as they paraded before my mind’s eye. I  felt like a guard at a border checkpoint letting the things I would give up pass into a void.  I said, “Yes,” to one thing and “that, too,” to the next. Being rough on the playground, blaming my sisters, sneaking a piece of scrumptious homemade cake before dinner, reading another chapter in my favorite book well past my bedtime by flashlight under the  covers— all the excessive indulgences of my little life passed the checkpoint. It looked like the line was getting longer. Finally, I saw myself open the gate wide. I heard myself  say, “Yes, all of it. All of it no matter what it is. All of it!” From that moment, I dedicated my life to do what Jesus asked of so many in the stories I had learned, love God enough to leave it all and follow. 

That day, I embarked on a course following the light of love and carrying as much light as I can into dark places. While living a life set apart for God’s use, I have become a physician bringing the light into patients’ rooms, an activist environmentalist shining light in the halls of congress, a luthier illuminating a resonant instrument, a poet and  musician instilling brightness in the hearts of audiences. Yet, in this life, I am continually challenged to recognize, set, and hold boundaries. How does one keep the world and its concerns at bay while offering service to the same? How is this done while maintaining a contemplative life? 

Recently, I read The Cloud of Unknowing translated by Evelyn Underhill. In it, an unknown medieval author writes that there is a Cloud of Unknowing that rests between God and us, and a Cloud of Forgetting from which we turn. God invites us into the Cloud of Unknowing through love. It is where we can blissfully commune in the harmony of oneness with the ultimate, unchanging true reality. The love that calls us to the Cloud of Unknowing equips us with the light of peace and goodwill to share on Earth.  

The author also writes of the Cloud of Forgetting. It is a space apart that, in my  imagination, does not serve as a place of dread, but as a safe space for passions that are a consuming distraction from the love shining through the Cloud of Unknowing. It is a treasure chest for the deep longings that draw us from the invitation of divine love. It seems that the Cloud of Forgetting is that void beyond the border where I stood guard in my youth as I considered this contemplative life. Rather than being armed at the gate  with wit and intellectual rumination of my worthiness or ladened with remorse and regret for the things admitted to the Cloud of Forgetting, I joyfully enter the Cloud of Unknowing with gifts of adoration and communion— a sacred space where I recharge the light of love that guides others in this world as they seek rest from their own Cloud of Forgetting. 

As a monk in the world, other tests of boundaries come from without rather than within.  It is a paradox to walk in the non-duality of oneness while setting boundaries. Thankfully, wisdom can be found in the teachings of sages. Jesus, the desert fathers and mothers, and various pious visionaries sat with their detractors and even welcomed them with compassion while illuminating their inhumanity.  

Sometimes, contemplative life attracts those sickened by the ways of the world— even those who come with a desire to harm us. It takes balance to tend their cries for help without allowing their unjust ways to distract us. Love is what keeps the boundaries clear while leaving our hearts open to receive those wounded by the world.  

”[Jesus] who, but for the joy that was set before him, endured the cross despising the shame…” —Hebrews 12:2b 

Jesus of Nazareth was a visionary who dared to love everyone. He loved so deeply that his behavior was charged as sedition for which he was crucified. He loved so perfectly that it pleased God. 

It is Jesus’ examples of compassion that show us how to open the door to the needs of others while living a life of contemplation and adoration. Times of contemplation help us to recharge our spirit for more challenging encounters. This balance comes as we hold the boundaries set between us and the clamoring world. 

The call to walk the border between compassion for the world and contemplation in solitude is a call to selflessly love everyone even those who despise us, those who are threatened by the mere existence of one who chooses to shine the light of love in darkness.  

It’s hard at times. But God would never ask us to carry this light in the world if we didn’t come equipped with the proper wick, vessel, and oil to do so.

Dena Ross Jennings, D.O. is a luthier, musician, writer, Virginia Master Naturalist, and an Internal Medicine physician with certification in Ayurvedic practice. In addition to over 30 years of  medical practice, she completed a 4-year apprenticeship with a sculptor and luthier in Ontario, Canada where she learned to design and built the gourd instruments of cultures around the world. In 2013 Dr. Jennings married her best friend Donald Jennings and moved to their organic herb farm and wildlife preserve in Nasons, VA which they lovingly call the Farmashramonastery. There, she practices medicine and counselling, hosts contemplative retreats, hikes, and meditation, and raises angora rabbits. 

In the larger community, she conducts conflict transformation workshops including one for artistic ambassadors through the US State Department in Washington, DC. She has developed accredited curricula of meditation for racial justice, and for cultural sensitivity in artistic performance. In 2019, she was appointed to the Virginia Commission for the Arts where she serves as the chairperson.

Since 1996, Dr. Jennings has been the Executive Director and founder of Imani Works, a human rights advocacy group that enjoys consultative status with the United Nations Department of Social and Economic Affairs. Through Imani Works, she provides evaluations for asylum seekers. You can reach her for bookings, consultations, and counseling by visiting ImaniWorks online.

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The Meaning of Manna ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess

Dearest monks, artists, and pilgrims,

We are delighted to welcome poet and author Nikki Grimes for a poetry reading tomorrow from her new collection Glory in the Margins. 

For today’s love note we are sharing one of her poems below from this collection. It is a poem about what we need to be truly nourished and how so many of us are weighed down by the multiple and conflicting demands of life. 

I invite you to begin by taking three slow deep breaths, let them out with a sigh and with each breath see if you can soften your body a bit more. Let your awareness descend into your heart and read her words with the ears of the heart attuning to the invitation for you today:

The Meaning of MannaImage: Rush houron the way to a local mount.Jesus knew a thing or two aboutthe stress of daily life.The desperate crowdsclinging to the hem of his robemade it plain:wants pressing in on every sidemisery multipliedby loneliness, poverty,food all but forgottenin the hunger for healing.How often are we crushed by need?Yet, Christ gave usthe secret to surviveand to thrive:we must slow long enoughto feed on the Holy. Oh, the body has use forbaskets of bread and fishbut what aboutthe manna of God’s word?We must pause to bathe in the soothing watersof his spiritleave the weight of worrybehindso that we can meetthe requirements of the next momentand the nextand the next— Refreshed.Refined.Renewed. (Mark 6:30-56)

-Nikki Grimes, Glory in the Margins: Sunday Poems

When was the last time you slowed long enough to feed on the Holy? 

Our world is so desperately in need of new visions and alternate ways of being. These will not arise from pushing ourselves harder, from doing more and more. Grace enters into the spaces between, when we leave room for our imagination to be kindled, for the Bringer of Newness to gift us with holy surprise. 

I am so grateful you are here reading these love notes, because it means there are many of you out there who are committed to and longing for a more contemplative way of being in the world. Who know that this way of life is an act of resistance to a world that wants us to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of production. 

We are here together, creating some space for a new world to enter. It is the work of a collective, not something we need to do on our own. 

For more poetic inspiration, please join us tomorrow for a poetry reading as we welcome the amazing poet Nikki.

I will be hosting a free Tea with the Abbess event this Friday. All are welcome to join us for a meditation, an update on our upcoming programs, and time for questions. 

With great and growing love,

Christine

Christine Valters Paintner, PhD, REACE

(Poem reprinted with permission from Paraclete Press)

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Monk in the World Guest Post: Jodi Blazek Gehr

I am delighted to share another beautiful submission to the Monk in the World guest post series. Read on for Jodi Blazek Gehr’s reflection on being a Benedictine oblate.

St. Benedict is special to me for a few reasons. First, we share a birthday. I admit I was disappointed when I first discovered this. My parents had given me an illustrated book of the “Lives of the Saints” to commemorate my Confirmation. As any nine-year-old would do, I immediately looked to see who the saint was for July 11, my birthday. Perhaps Elizabeth, Mary, or Theresa would be my special saint. 

Instead, I see an illustration of a man with a dark hood, a scary-looking bird, a crooked cane, and an unusual name I had only associated with Benedict Arnold. July 11, St. Benedict, Abbot, it said. I had never heard of him and surely did not know what an Abbot was. Through the years, I returned to this image of St. Benedict, thinking that I should have some connection with my patron saint.

Fast forward 26 years. With a full and busy life—married with a young daughter, a career as a high school teacher and club sponsor—I felt a deep longing for times of silence. I answered the call of my heart and responded to an advertisement for a silent contemplative prayer retreat. I discovered an oasis of peace just a few hours from home in the cornfields of Nebraska…called St. Benedict Center.

I recall my dark-hooded saint, and, not realizing it, began my journey of “being Benedictine.” Through the years, I went to dozens of retreats, became an Oblate (a lay associate to a monastery) and have gone on three Benedictine pilgrimages to Europe. I write a blog called “Being Benedictine” and lead retreats on spirituality and creativity.

Being Benedictine is a way of life. The foundation of a monk’s commitment are three vows—stability, obedience, and conversion of life. As an Oblate, I learn from the wisdom of St. Benedict and apply these values in all aspects of my life. 

The promise of stability. Monks who have made monastic vows practice stability by committing to a specific monastery and staying put. “The monk is an archetype, whether we live in a monastery or not, we have a sense of what it means to be a monk. We long to be together with God in solitude.” (Fr. Mauritius Wilde, OSB) Although not living in a monastery, I seek God right where I am—practicing stability in my marriage (since 1985) and my profession as a teacher (since 1997.) This commitment requires attending to the present moment and my reality with all its challenges. It is deciding to stay in situations, rather than running away. God is not somewhere else; God is present in what is.

Growth only happens by planting roots, standing firm, and practicing patience.  A marriage will not survive without adapting to, enduring, and celebrating the change of seasons—the spring of hope and new life, the summer of comfort and security, the autumn of changes and letting go, the winter of sadness, and even, despair. I believe it is only in the stability of marriage, enduring the weather of every season, that one can reap the true benefits of a life lived together. 

My commitment to teaching is a lot like my marriage. Practicing stability has given me the courage to continue teaching, to discover valuable lessons that can only be learned slowly and over time. It takes work—I give; I get; it is (too) hard sometimes; I want to quit; I recommit. There are weeks, months, sometimes years, that don’t seem very rewarding. But there are moments that are affirming; it is then that the reward is revealed. It is only over time that the fruits of the labor can be truly appreciated, and the work of the Divine is evident.

The promise of obedience. The monk vows to be obedient, to listen—the first word of the Rule of St. Benedict. To “listen with the ear of the heart” requires silence. For me, that includes spiritual reading, Lectio Divina, creative expression including writing and practicing SoulCollage®, a powerful form of prayer and self-reflection that expresses both the inner artist and monk archetypes. “The monk, a universal archetype of the search for the divine, represents everything in you that leans toward the sacred, all that reaches for what is eternal…The artist speaks to that part of you which yearns for beauty and creativity.” (Macrina Wiedekehr). By creatively and prayerfully cutting and pasting images, one can have new awareness and deeper levels of understanding. One of my greatest joys is exploring new ideas, gathering resources, and then sharing with others. Planning and leading retreats provide a unique opportunity for being creative with others and developing spiritual friendships.

The promise of conversatio morum.  While staying put and listening deeply, a monk commits to conversatio morum, a conversion of life—movement within stability. We allow ourselves to be changed. I am certainly not the same person who said, “I do,” years ago; and thank God, I am not that first-year teacher struggling to manage a classroom. I seek new ways to approach challenges— professional learning, counseling, spiritual direction, prayer. I am open to being converted again and again, to grow in compassion and patience.

Being Benedictine, an on-going spiritual journey, requires humility. By promising stability, obedience, and conversion of life, the Divine is revealed in my daily life as wife, mother, friend, teacher, retreat leader, monk, and artist! 

Jodi Blazek Gehr is a wife and mother, a Benedictine Oblate, a certified SoulCollage® and Boundless Compassion Facilitator. She is a high school business teacher and department chair certified in Business, Marketing, and Information Technology (6-12.) Her passion is writing for her website, Being Benedictine, and leading retreats in creativity and spirituality.

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Corcomroe Abbey ~ A Love Note from Your Online Abbess

Dearest monks, artists, and pilgrims,

I am delighted to share I have a third poetry collection being published on May 9th from Paraclete Press titled Love Holds You: Poems and Devotions for Times of Uncertainty. 

This poem was inspired by one of my favorite monastic sites near Galway. Corcomroe Abbey was a Cistercian monastery founded in the 12th century and is a magnificent structure. There are dozens of these “ruins” within an hour’s drive from where we live and each inspires a profound connection to ancient wisdom. I always feel the presence of the prayers that thousands have prayed within these walls and imagine the stone holding these longings. 

Read this poem slowly and then watch the poem video and see if the images illuminate the poem more for you in being able to see the building itself. If the images distract, close your eyes and listen to me reciting the poem to you. 

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Corcomroe Abbey If you pauseyou can hear the whispered longings and wailings carried across this threshold, the desperate cries for healing, the shouts of praise, the stones are keepers of these prayers, and to stand there is to feel your heart both leap and break all at once.The roof is gone which means this place is no longer shielded from the elements but holds its mouth up to catch raindrops on the tongue,sunlight pours down and fills the space with gold.The cawing of rooks nesting echoes off the walls, nettles grow in corners, dandelions in cracks, and you see this place is not a ruin, is not empty, and you offer up a prayer, not certain who is listening, but knowing this prayer does not live alone, but finds a place nestled among birds and spirits and growing things.

*

After reading and listening to the poem, allow some time for reflection: 

Have you ever stood in a “ruin” but felt the presence of pilgrims and prayers in the stones? 

What is the prayer you want to whisper in that place?

If you want to practice some breath prayer here is a suggestion: 

Breathe in: My prayers

Breathe out: are held by Love

You might close with an affirmation: 

I offer my prayers and know they are held by angels and ancestors, saints and wild things.

You can pre-order your copy of Love Holds You: Poems and Devotions for Times of Uncertainty. Join us for our book launch on May 8th!

(Paraclete is offering a 20% discount for pre-orders when you use the code LoveHoldsYou at ).

Join Simon tomorrow for his sacred chant service, Therese on Wednesday for Centering Prayer, and Melinda on Thursday for her yoga practice.

With great and growing love,

Christine

Christine Valters Paintner, PhD, REACE

Poem Video by Luke and Jake Morgan MorganCreative.org

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