Jim Webster's Blog, page 67

Just getting by

Have you noticed how, when people portray poverty in fantasy, they dwell on the squalor, and somehow even the squalor is more squalid in fantasy worlds. The cess pits are deeper, the chife is more intense and the degradation more complete. Yet a few days ago I was taking apart a building. I have to …

That’s nice dear.

I wondered how people managed to do all this blog writing and still have a life and get any professional writing done. Anyway I’ve just discovered the secret. You find some other poor self regarding sap and get them to write a piece for your blog. Anyway that was what Adam Sifre did with me, …

“Ars gratia artis”?

When she saw I was doing a blog, a lady of my acquaintance made the comment “if I buy a book I want the author’s very soul. Hahaha!.” Of course, as convention dictates, I made a flippant reply, saying “If you were told to expect much from an author’s soul, you were probably cheated. They’re …

In the beginning

Everyone says that I should really ‘do’ a blog. They’re talking to someone who has never managed to keep a diary after January 12th. So I asked them. “Why.”

There was some muttering and then someone says, “Well it’ll help sell your book.”

Along the lines of ‘buy the book or the blog gets it’ perhaps?

Anyroad, I’m just obeying orders, (Like every good husband I default to the Nuremburg defence) and am writing this.

Which then begs a question; just exactly what am I to write about? I suppose I can tell you that the book is great and there’s another one coming out soon. Well I can do that in less than a dozen words. Admittedly I’m going to get pretty bored of it after the first couple of times, and I suspect it’s going to pall with you as well.

Someone said that this blog thing is to show people how brilliant I am. Thinking about it, that’s easier. Every week I just type in ‘still brilliant’. This might be the way forward, even I could probably automate this, and you wouldn’t even need to read it as you know what it says. All you have to do is mutter knowingly to a friend, ‘I hear Jim is still brilliant’ and you’ve played your part to the full. (I’d suggest you restrict this to once per friend per week. Otherwise people might have their doubts about you.)

Or I could actually write about something interesting. I know at this point some kind soul is going to say something along the lines of “Why break the habits of a life time.” What is it the man said, all the worlds a stage, but the only queue is for the critic’s seat.

So it looks like a plan. But not just now; there is an elderly three legged Border Collie bitch who has just pointed out to me that she would appreciate a walk. Given that it isn’t actually raining, a quiet stroll down to the beach seems to be the next item on the agenda. Earlier this morning when feeding calves I noticed there is snow on the fells, so the view should be worth the effort.