A.R. Mitchell's Blog, page 12
July 20, 2023
Welcome
Last week I showed you a story and how it managed to fill in some trauma based soul holes that I had. This week we’re starting a series on how to do that kind of writing for ourselves.
Welcome to … Storytelling Through Trauma
Since a lot of people find writing extremely intimidating, I wanted to take some time to go over the basics and teach you how to heal through writing.
Some of it will be technical, but a lot of it will be fun. I always attempt to make certain that whatever I’m teaching is fun and understandable. So don’t be nervous.
Forget how you learned to write in school. This isn’t about the written word, its about getting your brain to recognize the rotten patterns and correct them. Whether that’s through fiction, or you writing it out in exact awful detail, or talking it out with a phone recording app and listening to it later… the method doesn’t matter, you will find what works for your brain.
Trauma of any kind messes with people’s ability to process information.
It also messes with your ability to do linear thinking… as in beginning, middle and end. Those three things might get jumbled in your brain as… end, beginning… and, uh… uh… end! No… I think there’s something missing, but I don’t know what that is.
This is caused by stress. We all go through stress. Its not bad for us in small amounts - but it can become toxic very quickly. This forces us into brain jumbles and panics.
A few pieces to remember:Our brains and bodies want to function. They want to heal. But somewhere along the way, survival took over and normal functioning flew out the window and may not have come back. That’s ok.
Survival is your body’s number one priority.
The emotions that come up are just emotions. They live with you in your body as roomates, you can’t turn them off or make them go away. You have to feel them in order to heal. It sucks. A lot. But they will not harm you. They may feel like death - but they are only emotions.
Your writing is probably going to look ‘bad’ the first time around. I’ve spent decades writing. Its not the word count, or word flow, its the emotions you’re helping bring to the surface. Its the healing that counts.
Your writing will probably not go in the direction you want it to, but trust the process. When the body wants to heal and we allow ourselves to have the space to create that healing by daring to ‘feel’ a little bit of what we locked up, or can’t find, I’ve discovered the process almost makes things better.
I’ll give you an example: I did a post on reversals, where I introduced you to Mason Jaymes. He had his own adventure series and was off doing his own thing… or so I thought. Then he walked into my upcoming novel The Mist Walker, and ended up becoming the hero. He took my plans for a supernatural international horror thriller and rerouted the entire plot with one word to my cursed lady lead, Erinys.
“Beautiful.”
But I trusted my writer instincts, which were born out of survival and ended up with a supernatural spy novel with a romantic subplot unlike any other. 1
The novel had things in it which I didn’t know I needed. When you trust your instincts, healing words end up on the page.
Mason Jaymes, in his gravely tender voice gave me a lesson I needed to hear through a fictional character. It was a lesson I had never heard from anyone in my family or the people that surrounded me. This is a lesson that should not have in any natural sense been in my brain or part of my worldview.
He told a shame wracked fictional characer, being written by a woman in her early twenties who was supposed to be perfect and not have any emotions or trauma… “Erinys – you are not wicked or evil. What happened to you is not your fault. Don’t you ever think that it is! When you were hurt, that was someone else’s choice – and he didn’t give you a choice to make! That's why it was abusive. There was nothing you could do. Your wounds don’t, and will never make you evil.”
The same is true of us.
That’s how writing can heal… because a fictional character can sometimes speak the truth better than anyone in the ‘real world.’
The Mist Walker should be available by October 2023.
In the meantime, I decided to dig out my New Orleans 1940s lady detective Bo McCarren and publish her cases on Kindle Vella. Kindle Vella is a new serial storytelling platform from Amazon… think of tv series with each chapter being an episode. Tokens are used like movie tickets to buy each of the chapters. The first three chapters are free. If you want to move from there, Amazon is offering free tokens.
You can also follow the story, meaning you’ll get updates with every chapter… fave it (this helps it move through the ranks on Vella and get more attention), and give it a thumbs up (which is another ranking system).
Check out Bo’s adventures, a series titled Snake Catcher… there’s spies, intrigue, action adventure, and a memorable lady with a bad attitude that helps her survive trauma. Bo’s got healing to do and in the first adventure you’ll see her survival skills working until she learns how to trust. Its not a pretty adventure, Bo is scrappy and raging, but we have to deal with those emotions too.
Read Bo McCarren's Snake Catcher
Perpetual Disclaimer for this series:
I am not a counselor or a mental health professional. I am going to attempt to avoid things which will cause alarm or harm, but I can't know what will trigger each individual. If you need to speak to a mental health professional please know that there are resources available.
Your stories are amazing!
Chronic Writer
Share Chronic Writer by VintageInkSlinger
Thanks for reading Chronic Writer by VintageInkSlinger! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
A. R. Mitchell's Goodreads Page
A. R. Mitchell's Vella Serials
1Mason is also excessively stubborn and the plot wouldn’t move until I caved. I don’t recommend having arguments with a fictional character who has a heart melting smile. They will always win. Sigh. (half in annoyance, half in teenage girl swoon)
July 13, 2023
Fighting the Darkness
Analysis of Fighting the Darkness
(Photo by Josh Willink: https://www.pexels.com/photo/family-d...)For our next adventure - I’m going to give you writer lessons in how to create the healing you’re working on through writing. But last week I wanted to demonstrate by example how story can be healing. This week is the analysis of that.
So… I’m bringing back my fan fiction dad and daughter archaeologist duo, Indiana Jones and his daughter, Emily. You met them in ‘It Wasn’t Fun - But You Won’ earlier in the monomyth.
‘It Wasn’t Fun - But You Won’ was a scene where as an adult Emily had a panic attack and flashback to when she was a child and gotten trapped in a tomb. It’s focus and theme of sorts was facing your childhood fears with empathy.
Fighting the Darkness is a scene in the aftermath of Emily’s childhood incident. She’s four and they’re in an ancient city in Israel. It’s been a few weeks since the tomb cave in incident and Emily hasn’t been sleeping well. I recently wrote it to attempt to deal with some of the feelings I had the in aftermath of a car accident that occurred when I was four.
Different scene. Different setting. Different characters. There’s nothing about me in this, yet I wrote it to sort out my emotions and give myself the healing that I needed.
In ‘It Wasn’t Fun - But You Won’ the focus was on empathy. This time I want to concentrate on how grown ups see the world and how children see the world. The hopeful takeaway is that you’ll have an example of how grown up you can take care of child you.
Fighting the Darkness AnalysisIsrael, 1947
Indy felt a small hand stabbing his ribs as he tried to sleep. “Yes, Em?” He murmured exhausted.
“Can’t sleep.”
Indy moved his arm out of the bedroll. “Want to sleep on my shoulder?”
(Human touch is part of human connection. One person’s nervous system can calm down another person’s nervous system. That’s why physical and sexual abuse are so horrifying. They take what’s meant to be safe and comforting to our human nervous system and make the comfort we need unsafe. This is a biological response based on experience. However, some damage can be reversed with consistent safety and trusting relationships.)“No.”
“Em… please…”
“Daddy, please…”
Indy sat up. He’d heard the fear in her voice. “What is it, Littlest Artifact?”
(He’s responding to the fear in her voice with empathy. We need to respond to our fears as grown ups and to our inner children… even if these fears sound dumb or we don’t know what they are yet. Its part of the healing process. Responses in empathy instead of judgement are vital. Remember, the grown up you is going to take care of the needs that the child you didn’t get.)“I’m scared to sleep.”
Indy took a quiet breath, staring at his daughter.
(Again, breathing is regulation of emotions. Notice, he’s not upset at her for telling him this. There’s no yelling, or telling her that her fears are dumb, stupid and childish. She’s scared. He’s present and calm, gently reminding her that she’s capable, and trying to understand.)“You were sleeping just fine on my chest this afternoon while I was grading papers…”
“It wasn’t dark out.” She was hesitant then spoke again. “I don’t like it when the world gets all dark like the tomb.”
(She tells him what’s wrong. It makes no sense in grown up mind, because grown ups know that the sun will rise every morning.)Indy flopped against his rolled up jacket, which he’d been using as pillow. “Em…”
(Sometimes we run out of empathy because we’re exhausted… and sometimes we need that exhaustion to bring our fears to the surface.)“But you told me sleeping was bad!” Emily protested.
(When we’re children what the adults say is always true, and in this case she is trying to obey what was said, along with a mix of real fears and big trauma from the tomb cave in. Trauma puts us into overwhelm and that always makes life confusing. Things like this can also put us into conflict with ourselves as adults… because as grown ups there are things we’re capable of doing and need to do, but these things which must be done upset our inner child.)“When?” her father asked, not remembering.
(Adults in crisis mode don’t remember half of what they do in a crisis… which is highly unhelpful in situations like this, and that’s why we as adults need to train ourselves to stay calm and grounded in tense situations. We’re not going to do it right 100% of the time, but the more we do to train our systems to stay calm, the more present and calming we’ll be for the people who need us. And for when we need to practice this in ourselves.)“When I woke up on the camel and we were running away.”
Indy wrapped his jacket around Emily. She was still small enough to be swallowed in it.
(For some people having weight like a pillow or a blanket, or in this case a leather jacket, is calming. It has something to do with our human biology that has a need to be held and comforted.)“Em,” he brushed her face with his hand, trying to avoid the bandages. “When people fall asleep and they have head injuries it’s not a nap - it’s called a coma. You’re getting better sweetheart. It’s safe for you to take naps.”
(This is an age appropriate explanation for what has happened to her and why it was unsafe for her to fall asleep. The follow up is that she’s getting better and she’s safe. Both of these things are critical to hear, no matter what age you’re dealing with. But this only works if there’s a trusting relationship… which is why responding to your inner child in anger when they have emotions that you as the grown up have to deal with, accomplishes nothing, and may even deepen the wounds.)“Even when it’s dark out?”
“Especially when it’s dark out,” Indy tried not to groan through his exhaustion. “So go to sleep.” He put his fedora hat over his face, hoping Emily would take the hint and settle. His arm was still out, waiting for her to lunge and snuggle like she’d been doing the past several days.
(Despite his tiredness, he hasn’t gotten angry or withdrawn an offer for age appropriate comfort and affection. Grown up you might have different emotions than child you. But you are the same person, just at different mental ages, so you need to work together to accomplish healing. And often that means grown up you has to hug child you.)She didn’t move. “Didn’t the ancient Egyptians think that their gods fought when the sun goes down?”
(*Yes, this is the ancient mythology of the Egyptians. - Author Note*)
“Yes.” Indy blinked behind his fedora, uneasy to start another conversation.
“And if the right god didn’t win… the sun wouldn’t come back up?” Her tiny voice was trembling.
(She’s scared of the mythology of the ancient Egyptians, because it may mean that she’s stuck in the dark… and she’s got trauma around a dark and scary place. Welcome to child logic. And we as adults go back there when we’re scared and overwhelmed, no matter how old we are. To logical adult mind, this makes no sense - but we still have to deal with it, because child us is scared. And we can’t heal when we’re not safe.)“Yes. That’s what they believed.”
“Do I need to do something to make sure the sun rises?”
(This is the child putting the blame of the incident they couldn’t control on themselves. They don’t have the capacity to sort out the situation… so they often through kid logic, turn the situation in on themselves. She thinks she has to do something to make the bad thing right and stop being afraid… when she really isn’t at fault at all.)Indy turned on his side and lifted his fedora. “Em… what’s wrong?”
(Again, we have response and eye contact… which can sometimes reveal intent through facial expressions. Even babies need to see faces. And there’s the question we all need to ask our child selves… ‘What’s wrong?’ We may not always have the answer for it, but sometimes just having the question asked, and leaving room for the answer, will bring healing.)“I don’t like it when the world feels like a tomb!” She crawled against Indy’s chest, crying.
(And because he hasn’t gotten angry at her, she feels safe enough to ask for physical comfort. This is also her dad. Parents are supposed to be the steady rocks in their children’s lives. This is isn’t always true, but kids need their parents to teach them how to emotionally regulate. And we as adults can do this for ourselves as we learn to heal.)“Come Littlest Artifact,” Indy mused, fully awake. “I’m going to teach you something. Let’s go up on the roof and look at the stars.”
(He tells he that she’s going to be taught and what they’re going to do, so she’s prepared and doesn’t get more scared. The unknown is always frightening, no matter what physical age or mental age you are. This is also done through movement and action. Movement and action as well as being told what is coming, can sometimes be helpful to regulate the body from being very scared or excited, back into a calm state.)“Don’t wanna be outside. Scary. Dark.”
“It’s darker in here than outside,” Indy replied.
(*Again, you can see the awkward dynamic between grown up logic and child logic. He’s looking around the room seeing darkness and presuming that dark is dark. To Em, dark is terrifying, so there’s an emotion that goes with it. Em will have to deal with the emotion. To her dad, there’s no emotion, because grown up logic knows that night ends. He has to realize these things, see the world from his daughter’s point of view and recognize her fear… then attempt to solve it or gently control it, working with her to empower her to get through her fear. This is what we all need to do when we encounter a hurt, scared or needy child version of ourselves. It helps with others outside ourselves as well.)“Hang on.” He pulled a cigarette lighter out of his left jacket pocket. “Em, you’ve seen me start fires with this… if you get scared, we have a light. Ok?”
(This is one of my favorite moments. He’s giving her a tool so she doesn’t have to be afraid. Granted its a cigarette lighter and most people wouldn’t want their five year old playing with an open flame, but this is an era where cigarettes were common. And she knows how to use it because she’s seen her dad start campfires with it when they’re out adventuring. So she gets a tool - to help her against her fears. And she’s put in charge of it. He’s empowering her to do something against her fears. She’s in charge of one piece. There’s suddenly something she can do against all the big scary things in her world.)“Ok.” She stared at it, as Indy let her hold the cigarette lighter.
Indy offered Em his hand. She took it, wrapping herself around his hand and forearm, her other hand clutching the cigarette lighter.
(*This is where body language comes in. Its not just a hand hold, she’s truly scared and has wrapped herself around her father’s entire forearm. He could have pulled away, but he’s not. He’s there for his scared little girl - without judgement, because to grown ups, this fear of the dark is kind of silly. For her, this means that there’s someone strong, who she can trust to protect her… which is what good parents should be doing. And if we want to heal, we need to be a good parent to our inner child selves.)Indy climbed the stairs of the city’s outer wall and motioned Em to sit down with him. She plunked in his lap, leaning against his chest. Indy put his arms around her.
(*Again, this is physical comfort and compression, which has biological links to our safety.)“Look up, hon… see all those stars?”
“Wow.”
“There’s a lot of them, right Em?”
“Yeah.”
“Why don’t you try counting them?”
She turned back to look at Indy. “Is this a plot to make me fall asleep?”
Indy grinned. “You’re adorable. But I know you better than that. You wouldn’t fall for that.”
(This is reassurance. She needs to know that things are going to be ok. He’s providing that moment, and making certain that she has a secure emotional attachment. As a child, she’s being complimented on being loved and smart. Kids need to hear things like this. They also need to know its safe to ask questions. This is a trust question and he gives her an answer that makes her feel more secure.)Em went back to staring at the stars. Indy leaned over her shoulder, explaining at a whisper. “While the Egyptian gods were supposed to be fighting over the sunrise… there was a man named Abram who got a visitor. And that visitor told him he was going to have a bigger family then there were stars. But Abram didn’t have any kids… and his wife thought the visitor was crazy. But Abram had kids, eventually. And they live in this land right now. And some live all around the world. And a lot of those descendants think that Abram’s visitor was God, who created the stars. And as the creator - he’s in charge of making the sun shine and the moon come out. He knows every star out there and they all have names.”
“Does he know where Mom and Annie are?”
Indy’s voice caught. “I’m sure he does.”
“Did you ever meet him?”
Indy thought back over his adventures. “No, but I know that the artifacts that claim to be his have more power and feeling to them than other things.”
Emily paused for a moment, thinking. “Then I guess I should talk to him about my fear of the dark… since he’s in charge of making it not dark.”
“I think he’d understand,” Indy replied softly. “You see… some people say he got stuck in a tomb, too.”
(This is a form of empathy… helping someone realize that another person has been through the same chaos and survived. You can look back on it say, “I got through the scary thing. And I as grown up will be with child me to also get through the scary thing.” Then you can take your inner child’s hand and say, “C’mon. I know the way out, because I’ve been here before. I should have been here for you. I’m sorry I’m late - but I’m here now. Let’s walk out together.”)“How’d he get out?” Emily asked.
Indy shrugged. “From what I heard there was a big rock… and he just rolled it out of the way.”
Their continuing adventures are on my Wattpad page.
Perpetual Disclaimer for this series:
I am not a counselor or a mental health professional. I am going to attempt to avoid things which will cause alarm or harm, but I can't know what will trigger each individual. If you need to speak to a mental health professional please know that there are resources available.
Your stories are amazing!
Chronic Writer
Share Chronic Writer by VintageInkSlinger
Thanks for reading Chronic Writer by VintageInkSlinger! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
July 6, 2023
Freedom to Live
Welcome to the final piece of the monomyth!
In the United States, July 4th is the country’s birthday where we’re celebrating freedom. The founders of the United States recognized the unhealthy control of their parent country Great Britain and worked toward a solution. They tried other options, but it came to the point where the only feasible option was to shake off the unhealthy control with The American Revolution. On July 4th, 1776 The American Declaration of Independence was signed.
I say that because the founding documents prior to the Declaration of Independence were recognizing freedom as a universal human need. This wasn’t an open support of chaos and everyone can do whatever they want, this was a responsible freedom where sound decisions could be made for a better future for everyone.
So what does freedom to live look like in the monomyth?
When we began the monomyth we had a reluctance to go on any form of adventure. Adventure had to drag us to the point where we were forced to look at our lives, fight our way through the bad stuff, realize what wasn’t our baggage to carry - and then have the courage to dump it.
Once we’d dumped the baggage, we had to move onward, realizing that our healing wasn’t complete. We faced the things that frightened us, conquered them, grabbed the pieces of our missing healing and then took off running, because we felt like something might collapse around us.
Our lives look different now, as we stand with our healing, our emotions and our skills. We still may need some help putting ourselves back together, but we have seen and received help throughout this journey.
Suddenly, we’ve realized that we have to return to the normal world. And that’s scary. But once there, we learn that just because we’re in the middle of a sea of people who aren’t ready to heal - we are prepared, because we didn’t leave what we learned behind us in the realm of adventure. We brought adventure with us. We stand with our healing and our adventure skills. And in this we should find freedom and confidence.
So what does freedom look like?
I’m finding its a slow process of challenging my old norms. Its a quiet questioning of ‘can I do this?’ Its drinking lavender tea without my mother screaming at me because lavender upsets her. It’s waking up from a migraine and being able to sort through the stuff and realize, “Oh yeah - no one is going scream at me for taking a nap.”
Its going back and writing fictionalized old memories… giving myself what I needed but didn’t get in that moment of bad.
I’ll explain that in a moment.
When we tell a story we give our brain an anchor. This anchor helps us say, “That was then - this is now.” This mental division keeps the overwhelm away. This means that fear can’t grab your mental steering wheel and drive you back into the scariest moments of your life in a flashback.
Part of the reason we don’t heal from trauma is that we don’t always get the emotional first aid to clean up the bad thing. We all understand that when a kid falls down and starts bleeding you clean the wound, stop the bleeding and put a band aid on it. But we don’t always do that emotionally. Sometimes we don’t know how.
However, looking back, we all instinctually know what should have been given to heal the emotional injury.
And that’s where story comes in. Not only can you separate the now from the back then, but since it’s a story, you suddenly become in charge of the events.
That’s right. You get to be in charge - instead of letting the bad things happen to you. Which means if you need Batman to rush in and stop something - you can call Batman.
If the bad thing’s setting or incident is too scary for you to handle in that context, then you can put yourself in a new context and a new character. You don’t have to be you. All you have to do is process the emotions surrounding the event and receive whatever you should have gotten to help heal in that moment.
It’s like story acts as a buffer zone. You get a safety zone between you and the bad thing. Think of story like a pillow fort. There’s a ton of soft, squishy, safe things between you and the incident, and if it gets to be too much, you can grab a pillow and be safe.
I know some people do this with non-fiction, telling their own experience but I find it easier to do with fiction. That way I can step out of the story and say its not real. And because of my unfortunate training that emotions are not allowed, having the emotions in a fictional world, allows me to get them out and have them be responded to with whomever I want...
When I was about four, I was in a car accident. I ended up with a brush burn across my entire cheek and I don’t remember ever having anyone check in on me to make sure I was ok. What I do remember was a ton of screaming from my furious mother, (she wasn’t injured, just mad) and my dad attempting to calm and control her while being equally terrified. No one checked on me. I was stunned and in freeze mode, so probably most of the adults thought I was ok.
So there was a large hole in the department of what should have happened to heal and calm the four year old me.
Earlier this year, I was in another minor car accident and all those memories came back. I was shocked at the chaotic clarity. And I couldn’t sit there with the memories because they were too frantic. I couldn’t find the emotions, because I was already in flashback mode. So I did what I do best. I started writing fiction…
I introduced you to my fan fiction dad and daughter archaeologist duo Emily and Indiana Jones in, “It Wasn’t Fun - But You Won,” where as an adult Emily had a panic attack and flashback to when she was a child and gotten trapped in a tomb. Here’s a scene in the aftermath of Emily’s childhood incident. She’s four and they’re in an ancient city in Israel. It’s been a weeks since the tomb incident and Emily hasn’t been sleeping well. (Their full length adventures are on my Wattpad page.)
It helped give me the healing I needed in the aftermath of the accident, because there was a little girl, who had a dad, who listened and helped her. It’s a caring adult, reassuring a scared child and giving her the tools and the confidence to stand up to her fears, while letting her know that she doesn’t have to be alone.
Those were the emotions that I needed healing from. They were not given. Hopefully, reading through this, or another story you can find emotions that you needed and see how a fictional character can fill holes in your emotions. And then you can write something that will fill in your own needs. It doesn’t have to be a real scenario - only the emotions have to be real. And those emotions are going to be real whether you’re writing fiction (not real) or non-fiction (something real).
Fighting the DarknessIsrael, 1947
Indy felt a small hand stabbing his ribs as he tried to sleep. “Yes, Em?” He murmured exhausted.
“Can’t sleep.” His nearly five year old daughter mushed her words together in exhaustion.
Indy moved his arm out of the bedroll. “Want to sleep on my shoulder?”
“No.”
“Em… please…”
“Daddy, please…”
Indy sat up. He’d heard the fear in her voice. “What is it, Littlest Artifact?”
“I’m scared to sleep.”
Indy took a quiet breath, staring at his daughter. “You were sleeping just fine on my chest this afternoon while I was grading papers…”
“It wasn’t dark out.” She was hesitant then spoke again. “I don’t like it when the world gets all dark like the tomb.”
Indy flopped against his rolled up jacket, which he’d been using as pillow. “Em…”
“But you told me sleeping was bad!” Emily protested.
“When?” Indy was struggling to remember.
“When I woke up on the camel and we were running away.”
Indy wrapped his jacket around Emily. She was still small enough to be swallowed in it. “Em,” he brushed her face with his hand, trying to avoid the bandages. “When people fall asleep and they have head injuries it’s not a nap - it’s called a coma. You’re getting better, sweetheart. It’s safe for you to take naps.”
“Even when it’s dark out?”
“Especially when it’s dark out,” Indy tried not to groan through his exhaustion. “So go to sleep.” He put his fedora hat over his face, hoping Emily would take the hint and settle. His arm was still out, waiting for her to lunge and snuggle like she’d been doing the past several days.
She didn’t move. “Didn’t the ancient Egyptians think that their gods fought when the sun goes down?”
“Yes.” Indy blinked behind his fedora hat, uneasy to start another conversation.
“And if the right god didn’t win… the sun wouldn’t come back up?” Her tiny voice was trembling.
“Yes. That’s what they believed.”
“Do I need to do something to make sure the sun rises?”
Indy turned on his side and lifted his fedora. “Em… what’s wrong?”
“I don’t like it when the world feels like a tomb!” She crawled against Indy’s chest, crying.
“Come Littlest Artifact,” Indy mused, fully awake. “I’m going to teach you something. Let’s go up on the roof and look at the stars.”
“Don’t wanna be outside. Scary. Dark.”
“It’s darker in here than outside,” Indy replied. “Hang on.” He pulled a cigarette lighter out of his left jacket pocket. “Em, you’ve seen me start fires with this… if you get scared, we have a light. Ok?”
“Ok.” She stared at it, as Indy let her hold the cigarette lighter.
Indy offered Em his hand. She took it, wrapping herself around his hand and forearm, her other hand clutching the cigarette lighter.
Indy climbed the stairs of the ancient city’s outer wall and motioned Em to sit down with him. She plunked in his lap, leaning against his chest. Indy put his arms around her. “Look up… see all those stars?”
“Wow.”
“There’s a lot of them, right Em?”
“Yeah.”
“Why don’t you try counting them?”
She turned back to look at Indy. “Is this a plot to make me fall asleep?”
Indy grinned. “You’re adorable. But I know you better than that. You wouldn’t fall for that.”
Em went back to staring at the stars. Indy leaned over her shoulder, explaining at a whisper. “While the Egyptian gods were supposed to be fighting over the sunrise… there was a man named Abram who got a visitor. And that visitor told him he was going to have more descendants than the stars. But Abram didn’t have any kids… and his wife thought the visitor was crazy. But Abram had kids, eventually. And they live in this land right now. And some live all around the world. And a lot of those descendants think that Abram’s visitor was God, who created the stars. And as the creator - he’s in charge of making the sun shine and the moon come out. He knows every star out there and they all have names.”
“Does he know where Mom and Annie are?”
Indy’s voice caught. “I’m sure he does.”
“Did you ever meet him?”
Indy thought back over his adventures. “No, but I know that the artifacts that claim to be his have more power and feeling to them than other things.”
Emily paused for a moment, thinking. “Then I guess I should talk to him about my fear of the dark… since he’s in charge of making it not dark.”
“I think he’d understand,” Indy replied softly. “You see… some people say he got stuck in a tomb, too.”
“How’d he get out?” Emily asked.
Indy shrugged. “From what I heard there was a big rock… and he just rolled it out of the way.”
Analysis coming next week - just like I did with “It Wasn’t Fun - But You Won”
Perpetual Disclaimer for this series:
I am not a counselor or a mental health professional. I am going to attempt to avoid things which will cause alarm or harm, but I can't know what will trigger each individual. If you need to speak to a mental health professional please know that there are resources available.
Your stories are amazing!
Chronic Writer
Share Chronic Writer by VintageInkSlinger
Thanks for reading Chronic Writer by VintageInkSlinger! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
June 29, 2023
Mastery of Two Worlds in Real Life
Mastery of Two Worlds in Real Life
Nechema Tec’s Character Traits of Hero
Ok. Lets put the past several weeks’ lessons together…
Last week we talked about the Character Traits of Hero.
Two and three weeks ago I talked about the roles of empathy and power and why true heroes don’t become bullies.
Today we’re looking at the character traits of a hero in overcoming trauma…
The Five Qualities of Altruism (AKA: The Stuff that Makes Heroes)Individuality - they felt unique and seperate from others
In the monomyth the hero is seperated from others through the call to adventure. Even if they don’t want to go on an adventure, they are often pulled into it anyway.
Trauma seperates us from the normal. We see things differently. We react differently. Our normal is skewed by unhelpful events which force us into seperation from everyone else. Eventually we get to the point where in order to function, we need to start the healing process so we don’t pass the hurt along to others.
Independence - comfortable with acting alone, strong self reliance, deep need to follow their personal beliefs and values (acting on the values, instead of spouting as proof of goodness)
The skills we learn to survive and cope with in our traumas are often not the healthiest skills - but dang! - They are the down and dirty scrappy survival skills that make us who we are. I’ve called them Shadow skills in the monomyth. And I said that these skills help us get through the challenges of not only trauma, but healing. Steps in the monomyth like the Belly of the Whale, and the Road of Trials rely on us to use our shadow skills to not only make our survival happen - but to challenge the old ways of thinking.
These processes take our survival skills, and turn them into victory skills. How? Your Shadow skills or survivor skills, are the pieces of you that helped you get through the chaos. They are your independent brave pieces who are the scrappy fighters who throw the tantrums, kick the unwanted baggage out of the car, shove the bad memories off the cliff, and are just crazy daring darlings who as I heal - I’m learning to love them, because their disruptor attitudes have probably saved my life.
All these trials and pieces create a form of independence. Most of the time your disruptive pieces will not win you friends - but they will reveal the motives of those who want to control you. Once these interior motives are exposed, it makes it easier in some cases to create a sense of independence.
We all have an inner justice system that knows when its not being treated properly. We also all have a sense of what should have happened to help us heal, after we were wounded.
Independence is created as we process these pieces, learning what skills to apply to the wounds, and when we need to take our skills on the offensive to help others. When we are no longer tied to our own wounds, because we have learned healing, we can move forward.
History of Altruism - strong values and a history of acting on them, with a focus on the idea of protecting the needy
Trauma creates a value system. It is often not always a good one. The messed up normal of our lives, often warps our values. As we learn our value as a person… we also learn the value of those like us before we were injured. As our values are reshaped through healing, something new grows in us… we learn protection and empathy, along with empowerment, because we’ve been through bad things and we’re looking to come out of that situation better. And we’re also looking at others with empathy and saying, “That’s not a place you should be in.”
This realization is often the beginning of protection. Healing the trauma, also means resetting the values. As we reset our values and beliefs, such as, “I did not deserve that,” we become stronger, and we can say to others, “You did not deserve that.”
In the monomyth as we confront our deep fears, this is the atonement and apoostasis stages… reaching toward the Ultimate Boon. What’s the ultimate boon for someone who’s been through trauma? Healing. And that isn’t one event - its a process.
Modesty about Acts of Rescue - they view helping others as a natural thing to do. (As opposed to turning away and ignoring the issue.)
Here’s where things get interesting. The heroes Nechema Tec studied had already saved lives. They were looking back on a time in history where people needed rescue and then the crisis point was over.
Many of the traumas people face aren’t like that. War is constant, so is domestic violence, human trafficking and no one can be certain when a natural disaster will occur. We live in a world where there is always someone who needs help. And if we try to rescue everyone - we will end up with more healing and burnout than before.
You will know when you are far enough in your journey to help someone when you know yourself well enough that you can stand with them. Don’t rush your healing in order to be a rescuer. A truly empowered rescuer doesn’t consistently run around looking for someone to save. That’s a form of addiction… they want to feel important, they want to have something to do, someone to save - when they should really turn around and ask themselves, “What hole are you trying to fill by saving someone? What do you need to help you fill in this hole? What do you need, that you can give yourself?”
A person who is an empowered rescuer has discovered the ultimate boon, and worked with another person in the rescue from without stage, and now they are master of two worlds, because they have the healing knowledge to return to the dark places and help someone through the chaos. Helping someone through the darkness that they went through is normal to them because they’ve learned to not be afriad of the darkness.
Spontaneity - when confronted with an opportunity to take action against an unjust status quo, they choose to take action
Spontaneity in the face of confrontation, especially when pieces of your trauma are showing up - is a reworking of the human survival response.
When people are frightened they go into several options… the simple version is fight or flight. With training the human response is no longer disorder - it becomes order.
For instance: I worked in security. I was trained to handle situations that were high stress. Everyone else could panic, but I had to stay under control and calm because I was the one trained to have a brain amid the chaos.
Was I good at it? For awhile.
Am I still good at it? Not sure. My stress has overwhelmed my system and I’m still in healing mode.
The spontaneity of heroism, despite former trauma, is that you know your responses and you can seperate the past and the present. For instance - you know a bad thing happened to you, and there’s something in the present which is reminding you of that bad thing. But you can sort them - the bad thing was ten years ago, and I can help because that experience is back there. That bad experience is back there and I’m here now.
That doesn’t mean the past and the present won’t get garbled into what a lot of people refer to as a flashback… when your current situation trips enough sensors that you slide into overwhelm and overwhelm takes the wheel and drives you back to the original incident. If this happens, its not a failure, its just a reminder that you’re in process and, “It wasn’t fun - but you won.”
In the monomyth this would fall under the master of two worlds and the freedom to live.
Unversalism/Empathy - the need to act against the evil and the unjust treatment
As people who survived trauma and have spent time without healing, our wounds are often deeper than most. This doesn’t mean we’re helpless victims - it just means that we’re often more sensitive than others. It also means that we spot injustice and unhealthy control faster. Our internal pattern recognition systems were honed in chaos and fine tuned for our survival - so when we see similar situations unfolding around us, we can either get overwhelmed and go back to our traumas, or we can act against the evil and unjust treatment.
Again, this is part of healing - and in the monomyth it would be under master of two worlds and freedom to live.
Others may call you paranoid, but based on what you lived through, you’re probably not wrong. And there may be a point where you have to confront and control your fears in order to speak out and take a stand.
History has told us that people who speak out against evil are not often remembered, but they are often the catalysts for great change. Change is never easy, but after healing, sometimes we are more flexible, because we’ve done he work to change our own unhealthy views and can have empathy when its needed for the victims, and fury against evil and its actions against people.
Final Note:
Again - we are not saying trauma was good, and we are not saying that character growth was why you needed to go through a bad thing.
Don’t feel like you need to complete the monomyth and the healing process entirely. It takes a long time, and there will always be things that will still hurt and you’ll need to revisit. That doesn’t mean you’re flawed or that you can’t do great things - it just means that you’re still healing. And as long as you’re working toward healing, that’s where you need to be. Progress in healing is more important than heroism… but depending on your confidence level in your healing journey, healing and heroism will work together for a better world, for you and those around you.
Next week we have one more lesson in the monomyth and then I’ll show you how to use the monomyth in writing and how that can be healing.
Perpetual Disclaimer for this series:
I am not a counselor or a mental health professional. I am going to attempt to avoid things which will cause alarm or harm, but I can't know what will trigger each individual. If you need to speak to a mental health professional please know that there are resources available.
Your stories are amazing!
Chronic Writer
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June 22, 2023
Nechema Tec’s Character Traits of Heroes
Nechema Tec’s Character Traits of Heroes
Nechema Tec was a Holocaust survivor who spent her career studying why people had helped others during the Holocaust despite the risk to themselves and their families.
Her focus was on altruism. Altruism is an act that we choose despite the risk to ourselves in order to promote someone else’s welfare.
These are the Five Qualities of Altruism (AKA: The Stuff that Makes Heroes)Individuality - they felt unique and seperate from others
Independence - comfortable with acting alone, strong self reliance, deep need to follow their personal beliefs and values (acting on the values, instead of spouting as proof of goodness)
History of Altruism - strong values and a history of acting on them, with a focus on the idea of protecting the needy
Modesty about Acts of Rescue - they view helping others as a natural thing to do. (As opposed to turning away and ignoring the issue.)
Spontaneity - when confronted with an opportunity to take action against an unjust status quo, they choose to take actoin
Unversalism/Empathy - the need to act against the evil and the unjust treatment
So how does dealing with trauma and healing through trauma grow these traits?
Again - we are not saying trauma was good, and we are not saying that character growth was why you needed to go through a bad thing.
But using the monomyth’s journey you should be able to see a pattern. And I’ll go through that pattern next week.
Mostly I just want you to be familiar with the character traits of heroes.
For more details, see my original post: Character Traits of Hero
You may not feel like a hero, but your empathy, healing skills and leadership in the aftermath and process of healing from whatever injured you, mark you as a person who has these capabilities and there will come a point when you will find your people and your cause, teaming up to do great things.Perpetual Disclaimer for this series:
I am not a counselor or a mental health professional. I am going to attempt to avoid things which will cause alarm or harm, but I can't know what will trigger each individual. If you need to speak to a mental health professional please know that there are resources available.
Your stories are amazing!
Chronic Writer
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June 15, 2023
Master of Two Worlds Part 2
Master of Two Worlds Part 2
Why Heroes Don’t Become Bullies
So I’ve spent a lot of time talking about empowerment, and I wanted to take a moment to show what that looks like and take apart the word empowerment.
A lot of people who have been in trauma look at power as wrong. Its a bad thing to have because the only power they’ve experienced is abusive, evil, or tied to the source of their pain and shame. But there’s a different type of power.
This type of power comes from a settled assurance that you know who you are and what you’re capable of. This is a skill and experience based confidence to set yourself in a position of control. Even if its just control over one little thing.
Heroes are able to control themselves when they are in power and they actively choose good things. (At least they’re supposed to choose to do good.) These choices are often difficult and it takes all the hero’s skills to stand by their choice and get through the trials of adventure.
Heroes control their actions.
Bullies pick others to control. They gain power off of fear.
Heroes make bullies mad - because they’re not easily controlled.
This sets heroes and bullies on a collision course.
The hero will always have to stand up to the bully, because a hero has the background and personality of empathy. That empaty will not allow others to be the target of a bully.
Conflict is not an easy skill… and trauma makes us terrified of it because as those who are still healing, we’re consistently vulnerable. We may not feel like heroes… but empowerment helps.
There’s a post I did with the research for Holocaust survivor Nechema Tec, who studied the character traits of heroism. We’ll go over those in the context of healing next week.
Here’s a preview link: Character Traits of Hero
Perpetual Disclaimer for this series:
I am not a counselor or a mental health professional. I am going to attempt to avoid things which will cause alarm or harm, but I can't know what will trigger each individual. If you need to speak to a mental health professional please know that there are resources available.
Your stories are amazing!
Chronic Writer
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June 8, 2023
Master of Two Worlds Part 1
Master of Two Worlds Part 1
As people who’ve been through trauma or seen abusive leadership we often get uneasy about words like mastery or power.
I want to set that aside for a moment and talk about empathy.
When we survive bad things, and when we attempt to heal from the injuries of the traumas we have been through, we gain empathy. Empathy allows you to sit with those who are in dark places and be less affected. Empathy gives you the ability and compassion to reach out when everyone else is afriad.
Its like you’ve walked through the darkness, and you know how scary being alone in the dark is - but you care too much to leave someone alone in the dark - so you take a lantern and walk back in. Then, you sit down with them and say, “I know you’re stuck here. That’s called fear. I know it sucks here. That’s called hopelessness. But I’ve been through here before and I know the way out. I’ve come for you - and we’re going to walk out of this together.”
That’s empathy in action.
When you pair empathy with leadership and power - you get an amazing leadership combination. You get mastery over two worlds. You have the healing skills and the adventure skills, plus the empathy skills to be the leader you needed…. not the abusive jerk.
True heroes have enough hardship and healing that they don’t become bullies. These experiences allow them to see the world with compassion and empathy paired with hope… which is why they’re still out there saving people, trying to make the world a better place.
We’ll talk about that next week.
Oh! Bonus! Thank you to everyone who grabbed a freebie copy of Ghost Unit. I had fourteen people take advantage of my Memorial Day themed free short story on Amazon. As I get more short stories published in the future I hope to do more giveaways and free fun stuff, so keep watching and reading!
Perpetual Disclaimer for this series:
I am not a counselor or a mental health professional. I am going to attempt to avoid things which will cause alarm or harm, but I can't know what will trigger each individual. If you need to speak to a mental health professional please know that there are resources available.
Your stories are amazing!
Chronic Writer
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June 1, 2023
Crossing the Return Threshold
Crossing the Return Threshold
Returning to a place that you were injured at is not easy. Stepping back into a situation that you have to face again, and again, is not a challenge people want to face.
If you remember from our first threshold article (The Crossing of the First Threshold) I mentioned that we are stepping into an adventure where we have to face our fears. We needed to place ourselves into an abnormal situation so we could see fear for what it was. And from this different vantage point we could see our healing.
Few people will tell you that you need to face your fear and revisit your trauma in order to heal from it. Most of us just want to run away and stay away. But these things follow us. They creep into our lives again and again the longer we run.
Crossing the Return Threshold is about taking the skills we learned in our healing adventure and bringing them back with us into the normal world, where we unfortunately often find ourselves among people who are content to NOT journey toward healing.
And this makes things difficult, because they are not ready for the skills we have. Our mastery of skills can often cause conflict. They don’t know what to do with our needs, and they feel especially threatened by our ’No’.
There is no easy way to manage and master the reactions of others. And we are especially vulnerable at this point because its so easy to slip back into our old roles, bending to the needs of others when it hurts us. Healing doesn’t mean we return to these unhealthy situations.
This is a new threshold, in a new doorway, and there is a genuine healing hope that it will lead to something better. A new future… as in The Master of Two Worlds.
Minor Housekeeping Note: I publish through the independent author program at Amazon. I received an email from them that as of June 20th, 2023, their prices for print books are going up, because the materials to make the books now cost more. This change may affect the author’s royalties. Royalties are the profits that authors get every time you buy a book from them. So if you like physical books and want to support the author - the author will get more of your money prior to June 20th, 2023, if you decide to buy a physical copy of their work. As far as I know, the digital book prices are going to stay the same. Just wanted to make you aware in case you had an eye on a physical book. I don’t know if this is just independent writers like me - or across the board with every book on Amazon. Thanks and happy reading!
Perpetual Disclaimer for this series:
I am not a counselor or a mental health professional. I am going to attempt to avoid things which will cause alarm or harm, but I can't know what will trigger each individual. If you need to speak to a mental health professional please know that there are resources available.
Your stories are amazing!
Chronic Writer
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May 25, 2023
Rescue from Without
Rescue from Without
Quick bit of news: I have a freebie short story on Amazon for Memorial Day, called Ghost Unit. Available for free starting May 25 (today) through Memorial Day, (May 29) 2023. Share with your friends and family in person and social media! Last time I did a freebie (Love and Shotguns for Valentines Day), I had 19 downloads, so I’m trying to set a new record.)
Click the link: Ghost UnitOr you can go to the Amazon main page and search “A. R. Mitchell Ghost Unit” (You’ll need the name and the author name, because other books and series come up before me. This has to do with Amazon’s ranking system and happens because other writers have more reviews than me.)
If you don’t have a Kindle, you can either download the free app to read it on your mobile device (smartphone or electronic tablet), or while signed into Amazon, click on your purchases and under digital purchases, you can see and read the short story by clicking on the manage content and devices button to the right, then you’ll be taken to a new screen where in the same place to the right of the purchases you’ll see a button that says, ‘More actions’ and then there will be a drop down menu that says ‘read now.’ (*I really must make a video of this.)
Hope you enjoy Ghost Unit. Please drop a review. If I get ten reviews Amazon will promote it. You can leave a review by going to your purchases, digital purchases and clicking the button that says ‘Leave a review’. Thanks!
Now… onto the monomyth!
Rescue from Without - guiding ourselves back to a normal when our journey took so much out of us that we’re struggling to return to normalPlease allow me the space to share about my first job.
Like most first jobs it sucked.
Unlike most first jobs it included a grand escape and a medical condition which has lasted multiple years.
I’ll relate these things to our topic, I promise.
A long time ago… when I was nineteen… (I’m in my 30s now)… I worked for an organization that had all the checkmarks of a cult. I was their media tech. It was a three month summer gig.
After a whole summer of watching the rules and expectations of my job change nearly hourly, my health concerns and chronic illness used against me, being told a whole host of dispicable life problems that I had because I wasn’t doing things properly, I got myself a case of migraine related PMS so bad that I decided I was leaving.
Migraines affect the brain and balance. PMS affects everything - but it gives you this amazing ever loving clarity to smell the roses which are actually cow patties and the brazeness to pick up the cow patty and chuck it at those who deserve it.
I packed up my stuff, told my boss I was leaving to her face three times, signed myself out and drove home. She remembered none of it… which snowballed into more drama which wasn’t mine.
That was a victory. (There’s more to the story, but that’s more details than I want to focus on right now.)
However, the aftermath of that victory - didn’t feel anything like a win. I felt physically horrible. My parents were furious. They told me since this was my first job it would follow me around for life. (It has, but not in a professional context.)
Had I been able to sit down with myself as older me to young me, I would be giving a lesson in burnout.
And that’s what ‘rescue from without’ is about. We’ve had the healing adventure, but we’ve been doing deep work on ourselves… and taking care of the past, doesn’t always mean watching what’s going on in the present.
So, what is Burnout?
“Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged or repeated stress.” )from: psychologytoday.com/us/basics/burnout)
Essentially its our bodies going, “I’ve had enough. Please do something about this because you are the one who’s supposed to be in charge!”
And then we get stuck because there’s a disconnect between thinking and doing. So start small, doing a kind thing for yourself that has nothing to do with looking at your past or present. You may not know what that kind thing you enjoy is because of all the other people’s stuff you’ve been carrying.
Also… naps do count.
Best book ever on Burnout:
“Burnout Secret Unlocking Stress Cycle” on Amazon
It took me two years to get back to normal from that three month job. Then at 29 I found myself back in a worse burnout cycle than I’d ever faced before. Why? I asked myself. And then I realized, I’d gotten better, picked up the same lifestyle choices of a healthy person who doesn’t know how to manage stress and just went on.
You have to manage stress. You have to learn how to cope with it in a healthy way. Emotions are part of it. Retraining takes time. I’ve been told by so many people now, “Healing is not linear.” You have to take the time to heal instead of swinging up on a horse with a Prince Charming typology and going to live in a castle… because if you don’t take care of your stress, it will follow you.
And the medical condition which followed me for years?
Abcesses in my big toe. Turns out I needed more minerals and less stress. My body was trying to detox and I had no clue. Three rounds of antibiotics from a typical western medicine doctor - no healing. One laugh from a naturalpathic doctor and a box of vitamins later - haven’t had an abcess in three years. This is your body on stress…. its not glitchy, its just telling you to pay attention that it needs something.
Perpetual Disclaimer for this series:
I am not a counselor or a mental health professional. I am going to attempt to avoid things which will cause alarm or harm, but I can't know what will trigger each individual. If you need to speak to a mental health professional please know that there are resources available.
Your stories are amazing!
Chronic Writer
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May 18, 2023
Magic Flight
Magic Flight
The popular idea of magic flight is the adventurer gets the treasure and narrowly escapes with their life as the ruin falls down around them. (Yes, I’ve written scenes like this - it feels disappointing NOT to make the ruin collapse from an author standpoint.)
But for the healing process this looks less like a grand escape and more about taking back what was ours. It can also look like that quiet amazing discovery that, “Hmm - that’s not mine to carry up this mountain.”
Our life experiences can train us into certain mindsets and rules for survival which may or may not be true for us. For instance, my mom hates the smell of lavender. It makes her depresssed and then she gets angry.
I thought I had the same issue. I’m sitting here drinking organic lavender tea mixed with some other herbals and its saving me from seriously ugly pain. Tension Tea - Organic Tea for Tension Relief, Easing Headaches and Migraines (It does have willow bark in it - which is natural asprin, in case that’s a health concern. They have plenty of other teas as well, and are a family owned multigenerational farming operation in Ohio.)
I had no clue I could do this safely. And I was too conditioned to realize that I would not be part of the problem, if I was caught drinking it. (Mind you, its tea - nothing illegal or questionable. There should be no controversey.)
But its the small things where you take control that lead to the bigger things. Its the small moments where you realize, something isn’t right - yet you don’t always have enough information to make a sound decision. And you look back at those moments and go - “Yeah. I should have listened to my gut.”
Your gut is an excellent source of information. We’ve been trained through trauma and Western society’s thinking that to listen to our gut is nonsense. Instincts are built into our system for a reason. They help us get the knowledge before we ‘know’ what’s going on. Essentially - they’re the creaking and the dust, just before the ruin falls and if we don’t listen, we don’t get to escape with the treasure of wisdom and knowledge. That doesn’t mean we’re stuck or relegated to gloom, doom, boom - it just means our escape was thwarted and there’s another way out. There’s always another way out.
Let hope be your torchlight in this darkness - watch out for scary things, and if you need more advice - you may want to check out one of the chapters I posted in my fan fiction The Seven Swords of Diya, where archaeologist Indiana Jones teaches a little boy why we shouldn’t be afriad, and how to treat each other when we have to face our fears.
Perpetual Disclaimer for this series:
I am not a counselor or a mental health professional. I am going to attempt to avoid things which will cause alarm or harm, but I can't know what will trigger each individual. If you need to speak to a mental health professional please know that there are resources available.
Your stories are amazing!
Chronic Writer
Share Chronic Writer by VintageInkSlinger
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