Rue Lennox's Blog, page 2

new release – no broken promises

No Broken Promises is Now Available! It’s release day! No Broken Promises is here, and it’s available in Kindle Unlimited, for you KU readers too! Oh – and it’s a complete standalone with an HEA. This is where I’m supposed to write a loving and super sweet message to all of you amazing people, about the story means so much to me. But here’s the thing… Remy and Parker lived in my soul. They told me their story and demanded that I tell it the right way. So instead of me talking about it, I thought you might want to see what early readers had to say.  “Wow! What an emotional roller coaster of a story! I was totally hooked from the first page to the last.” – Ellen, Goodreads “How do I start a review for a book I loved even before I opened it? Five stars are not enough for this book!
Rue brings you a book of heartbreak and healing, second chances, single mom, and a loving family in a small town.” read No Broken Promises now

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No Broken Promises – Chapter One

Chapter One – Remy

Dear Parker…

I don’t know how to start this letter, or if I should even be writing you one. You just lost your husband, and I… lost one of my best friends. I don’t think any of us will know what’s the right thing to do. Not for a long time. What I know is that I can’t imagine the pain you must be feeling. Knowing Danny won’t be there for the birth of your son. Or his son’s first day of school. Or any of those things that you’ve dreamed of since you were a little girl.

I can’t make this right, and I know me writing to tell you that is practically useless.

But I’m here.

“Fuck.”

Tearing up the weather-worn letter I’ve been working on for a month and a half in the middle of the desert during my deployment suddenly seems like a great idea. Until I glance over my shoulder to see Lincoln Hayes, my best friend, staring out at the desert with a defeated expression on his face. Like the entire world is gone. For him, though, it practically is.

“Fuck,” I mutter once more.

Rather than tear up the letter I can’t even bring myself to finish, I fold it into the same tight square as before and slip it back into the pocket over my left breast, closing my eyes briefly as its negligible weight returns to my chest. Suddenly, I feel like I can breathe again.

“One more month, Remy. One more month.” Linc’s voice hits me like a freight train. Since the accident, I don’t think I’ve heard more than one word from him at a time. “Then we’re out of this hell.”

His eyes never leave the anchor he’s been staring at every single day since the accident.

“Do you think you’re going to go home?” I cough, trying to cover the heavy emotions I feel digging into my chest. “To see your mom. Parker.” Even saying her name sends a chill down my spine.

Stop. The order is useless, though. I’ll never not think about Parker Hayes. I haven’t before, and I won’t now. She’s always been the perfect contradiction, wrapped in sass and fire. Everything that makes the wet dreams of a teenager come to life.

Linc’s shoulders tense, and then he sighs, slumping into something that doesn’t resemble my best friend in the slightest. “No. I can’t see her. Not yet. Not until I have something to tell her.”

But he isn’t talking about Parker. Nor is he talking about his mom. I can tell that much by the way his eyes dart over my face, almost afraid of what I’ll say next.

Hell, I’d be afraid too, honestly.

“Kennedy’ll wait for you.” I take the high road, and deserve a fuckin’ trophy for it. “She’ll be hurt, and no doubt will give you all sorts of shit about it. But you lost your brother, Linc. You deserve some time to figure out your life, to salvage what’s left of your happiness.”

“She’s your sister, man.” Linc closes his eyes, wrapping his hands around his face. His pain filters through the short distance between us, bringing me into the circle of his grief and desolation.

“Yeah.” I shrug. “But Kennedy knew exactly what she was getting into. There’s a reason I didn’t go after my heart.” Flashes of Parker fill my mind, and I’m powerless to stop them.

Her, dancing under a sky full of stars when we went camping during high school.

Her, running around the field next to the elementary school in eighth grade, trying to get away from something in a distant memory.

Her, on the first day of school, walking in and knocking me on my six-year-old ass, without even knowing it.

Her, never knowing that she owned me.

And she never will.

“I’m sorry.” The words feel wrong, like acid pouring out of my throat, and I wish like hell that I could take them back. That I never had to utter them in the first place.

“They got the debris cleaned up.” Linc’s emotionless eyes shift back to the familiar desert. “Where Danny’s chopper went down. You can’t even tell anymore.”

“Let’s go.” I grab my rifle, sitting against the Humvee that Linc has taken up an almost permanent position against.

Linc doesn’t follow, at least not at first. A few seconds later, though, he pushes himself away from the truck and comes with me. Every step seems hesitant, forced out of him.

I can’t blame him. Hell, with every step, I am thrust back to that day. The one when we all lost Danny. Linc? He lost more than the rest of us. He lost his brother—his twin. When he came back from emergency leave, he did so with a piece of his soul missing.

Silence falls between us, where it never would have before, as we approach the scene of Danny’s accident.

“He’s not gone,” I tell him bluntly. “You think he’s gone. But he’s not. He’s here. Watching over you, watching her. Making sure you’re covered.”

I stand in silence, with my eyes on anything but Linc, while he grieves. That, and I didn’t clear it with anyone for us to head out through the gate. Honestly, though, I don’t give a fuck anymore. Not when this godforsaken place has stolen so much from us. I don’t want to die, though, so I keep an eye on our surroundings and pray that a firefight doesn’t come raining down on top of our heads.

“Thank you, Remy.” Linc clears his throat, and we both ignore the obvious signs that he’s been crying.

“No problem. Now, let’s get back before they notice we vanished for ten minutes.”

Linc laughs bitterly. “You kiddin’ me? No one will even look at me right now. I doubt they’ll even notice we’re gone.”

I know it’s completely ridiculous, but I swear to every god in the sky that in this moment, I feel Danny here with us. Walking back to the gate as we cross the border back into camp, he vanishes.

A month later, Linc and I are headed in two distinctly separate directions, two different stations. Another unit was short a man, and Linc volunteered. He won’t be going home any time soon, I know that. But then again, neither am I. Time and space are two things I need far away from Birch County. That, and I’m not man enough to admit the truth.

“You gonna keep the promise?” Linc’s question catches me off guard and I almost trip as we step off the plane.

The only thing that keeps me from tumbling down the airplane steps like a fuckin’ kid is the fact that I have a tight grip on the handrail.

“What?”

“The promise you made that night after the wedding. To watch out for Parker.”

When I turn around, there is a glint in Linc’s eye. The same one he always gets when we’re on patrol and something is about to go sideways.

I try to keep my mouth shut. Really I do. And then he goes and drives a knife through my chest without even trying.

“If you love her, the way you had to in order to give her up, then you’ll be there for her.” His eyes cut straight through every barrier I’ve kept up for the last two years. The same ones I’ve constructed to keep her out.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I lie. He knows it too. I see the way his left eye ticks, when he struggles to keep himself under control.

We finally make it off the tarmac and into the airport’s lobby, trying to blend in as well as two Marines in uniform can. Even blending in as well as we can doesn’t give me a break from Linc’s continued glare. If anything, it becomes even more obvious, when we take our seats in the same fuckin’ terminal.

I can’t catch a break.

“I’m waiting for an answer, Remy.” He doesn’t wait for my answer, though, when he sees the coffee shop open across the lobby.

With a sharp glance, he leaves me alone at least for a moment. When he returns with two cups of black coffee, I almost groan. It’s been so long since I had a decent cup that I’m not sure my body will know what to do with it.

“Here.” Linc hands the second coffee over, and I don’t care about the heat. I drink that bitch straight down.

“I’ll do it,” I practically snarl. “I’ll keep an eye on her. But that’s it.”

Linc opens his mouth to give me some sort of smart-ass retort, no doubt. Before he can, though, the PA system turns on and his plane starts loading.

That doesn’t stop him from pointing a threatening finger at me and narrowing his eyes.

“This isn’t over, shithead. I know you love her. So did Danny, otherwise he would have never asked you to take care of her if anything happened to him.”

I don’t call him out on his bullshit, even though I want to more than anything. Him and Kennedy are different than Parker and me. He’s been in love with my sister forever, and she knows it. She’s given him a chance. Parker doesn’t have a clue how I feel, and she never will.

Still, when the terminal empties and I have nothing left but time as I wait the twelve hours for my flight, all I can do is think about that night. Reliving the haunting memories that I’ll never be able to forget.

Needing to breathe, I go to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face. While I clutch either side of the porcelain sink in front of the metal mirror, I hardly recognize the man staring back at me.

Dark circles have taken up permanent residence under my eyes, and with them the now-familiar haunted expression that I’ll never escape. I close my eyes, hoping to escape the nightmare that follows me everywhere.

“Thank you,” Danny slurred drunkenly. “For pushing her away.”

“I didn’t do anything.” The lie slipped out easily enough when we were at Lucy’s Bar, drinking before we left Birch the next day. “She chose you.”

Danny snorted, and his eyes went to the woman he’d married that morning, with me and his brother as witnesses.

“She’s not mine, and we both know it. I fucked up. And this is the only way to fix it. For now. We’ll fix it, though, and right now the baby is enough.”

I cringed at his words and bit my tongue, wanting to remind him that a baby was never a good reason to get married. But I didn’t. It wasn’t my place. It would never be my place, no matter what he said.

Suddenly sounding very much sober, Danny grabbed my shoulder. He waited until I glanced up from the bottle of beer I’d been nursing half the night as I tried not to stare at Parker. She was sitting across the bar with a group of her friends, my sisters among them.

“I didn’t mean to take her.” His voice broke. “Love her. Any of it. But if something happens to me. My family wouldn’t forgive me if I left her pregnant.”

Bristling, I tried to shrug him off, but he held tight. “Come on, Danny. Nothing’s gonna happen.”

“I didn’t mean to, Remy. You gotta know that. You’re my best friend, and I know.” He hiccupped. “I know you love her. I’ll do my best.”

“It’s fine,” I hedged. Nothing is ever going to be okay again. Not when he’s got her. “She’s having your baby. She’s got your ring on her finger.” Even though I wanted to scream from a mountain that I’d always protect her, if she were mine. I didn’t. She wasn’t mine. She’d never be mine. He made sure of it.

“No.” Danny shook his head somberly. “I know you say it’s fine.” He swallowed another gulp from the beer in his hand. “It’s not. I didn’t want her, Remy. Not really. But you …” He looked around, making sure no one was close enough to eavesdrop. “You’re the only one who deserves her love. The only one who deserves to love her.”

I swallowed hard at his words, trying to figure out how to lie to one of my best friends.

In the end, I didn’t have to. He got up, stumbling over himself, and I was saved from myself.

Until my eyes caught her. Where Parker should have had the biggest smile on her face, she looked almost sad.

If she were mine, I’d protect her.

And right there, more sober than I’d ever been in my entire life… I make a promise to the woman I pushed away.

A silent, broken, ruinous promise that I knew will destroy me one day.

“I’ve got your six, Parker.” The whisper leaves my lips, and I swear I feel the world shift on its axis.

“I’m sorry.” I open my eyes, feeling once more like he’s standing right next to me. “I don’t think I can keep my promise.”

“Yeah you can.” Danny’s voice echoes in my head, a faint memory of words he never said. “Let yourself love her.”

“One day,” I whisper to my best friend’s ghost. “Maybe one day.”

I walk away, refusing to admit I’m lying yet again.

 

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new release – no dirty secrets

No Dirty Secrets is Now Available! Thank you everyone for your support during the last month. It’s messed with every single schedule that exists for my business, and my personal life for that matter. Your messages have given me smiles, laughs, and the reminder that I’m not alone.  As a reminder, No Dirty Secrets is available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited.  If you’re a fan of the following tropes that readers have said they found in these pages, you’re going to LOVE this book.  No Dirty Secrets has:
meet cuteforced proximitygirl next doorhe falls first, and fastslow-burnfound family protective heromilitary/teacher romance read No Dirty Secrets now

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Release and Reviews and Trauma that Affects Everything

So, I need to tell you all a story of trauma and car accidents, so if that is triggering for you, please know that it’s not an easy email to send.

Right after I sent the email you everyone asking about reading chapter 2 of No Dirty Secrets, I was involved in a motor vehicle accident with my 12 year old that had us both transported to the hospital and emergency surgeries.

THANKFULLY, my son was released after 5 days, and I was initially released after 9 days.

Unfortunately, I had complications that resulted in me being re-admitted to the hospital, which is where I’m at now… awaiting more surgery.

HOWEVER – none of that affects No Dirty Secrets because I have an amazing team behind me who have made sure that I didn’t drop the ball!!!!

No Dirty Secrets has gone out to review readers as of today. With the review copies, I sent a newsletter letting you amazing people know generally what had happened (the information above) and I cannot BELIEVE how many emails of support, prayers, and positive thoughts and well-wishes that we’ve received. 

Thank you, to every single reader out there. I cannot believe how lucky I am to have you all in my corner. 

 

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Holiday Check In

How are you doing this time of year?If you need to vent, to have someone to talk to, or even just to share some happy news with – pound that reply button and let me know! I want to be that ear, that shoulder, that person to celebrate with you, because you’re all there for me!
Not everyone celebrates during the holiday season. From different cultures and religions, to personal feelings and events that have happened… there are hundreds of reasons why you may not be in the mode to be celebrating for this season. I just want to make sure that, if this is you, that you know it’s absolutely okay.
This year, I’ve been focussing on myself and what brings me happiness and peace. I’ve fully embraced this time as entering my Villain Era (for the fellow swifites out there) because I am finally able to accept that about myself.
I can be the bad guy in someone else’s story, as long as I am happy, in my own life and in my own circle. I want that for all of you. Every single person reading this newsletter – I wish you nothing at all but happiness and peace in your life for the next year. Focus on you. What makes you happy. What brings the calm to the storm that rages within your veins. Follow that peace. Follow that happiness, wherever it takes you in 2024 and all the years that follow.
Here’s a picture of me feeling free when I had my author photos taken last year. It’s this image that I look at when I’m needing to remind myself to embrace the change.

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No Dirty Secrets – Chapter One

Chapter One – Casper

“Why does New York have to suck so bad?” I walk down the crowded street, wondering if anyone has heard of personal space. My iced coffee isn’t even iced anymore, and I have already started to sweat through the clothes I put on to face down one of my greatest fears.

Public speaking.

“Because New York isn’t Maine, and you’re not home,” my mom’s voice echoes in the earbuds that I never leave home without. “Are you sure you’re up for this, Casper?”

“Yes, Mother.” I only call her that because she hates it. “Just kidding, I love you Momma,” I add on before she can verbally slap me through the phone. “I don’t have a choice.”

“Be safe out there. And remember, we’re here if you need us.”

“Don’t worry,” I assure her. “I’ll be home in a month, and we can get dinner when all this is settled.” Even saying the words hurts beyond belief. But my parents need me to be strong. I am the only one who can be.

“Love you, Casper. Forever.” She hangs up before I can say it back, and I can practically feel her heartbreak on the other end. What else can be expected from a woman who just lost one of the people she loves most in the world?

I manage to hold it together, too. Until I walk into the crowded and slightly overheated courthouse. First, they make me throw away my non-iced coffee. Then things take a turn for the worse when the security guard’s wand gets way too close for comfort.

“Looking for gold?” I raise an eyebrow and wait for some sort of reaction from the brusque man in front of me. “I swear I’m not hiding anything in my pants and you guys already made me throw away the only thing keeping me cool today.” My pants are actually leggings and wouldn’t have room to hide a pencil, let alone a weapon.

Although, it isn’t his fault that he has to get up close and personal with every person coming into the building. I just take offense that his wand keeps creeping closer to my girly bits than it should.

Actually, I am so busy watching the wand and making sure that I don’t get prodded somewhere I shouldn’t, that I completely miss when he is done.

“You can go through there.” His gruff voice makes me jump. When I look up to see the gentle expression on his face, all my anger at the situation vanishes.

“I’m so sorry,” I explain needlessly, grabbing my bag from the table I’d had to set it on to be searched. “This has been the worst week of my life. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

He nods, motioning for me to go on. Blushing, I go quickly in the direction he said. I mean, he is working in a courthouse. So of course he sees people during the worst times of their lives.

Come on, Casper. Pull it together.

Trying to breathe, I repeat the same mental pep talk I’ve been giving myself quite a lot lately. Sadly, it is pretty much the only thing keeping me together. Ever since we’d gotten the call about Cassie. I drove three hours from a conference in Boston to New York City on zero sleep.

“Is this seat taken? Or can I sit here?”

I jump, my heart suddenly racing at the voice coming from right behind me. The dark-haired woman who is smiling at me while pointing to the bench I am sitting on looks apologetic when she sees the way she scared me.

I am not a complete dunce, though. Somehow, I manage to keep from screaming or slapping a hand to my chest like my grandmother used to do. Recovering quickly, or as quickly as I can possibly manage, I shake my head and move to the side.

“Yeah. No. I mean, yes you can sit here.”

She sits down without waiting for anything else, her large purse plopping into her lap loudly.

“I hope they hurry,” she says. “My husband doesn’t know that I’m here. And I don’t want him to find out. If he does, he’s gonna be pissed and make me start using a driver again.” She blows out a frustrated breath. “That man is wearing on my last nerve.”

My hands are clenched in my lap while I try not to have a panic attack from just being in the courtroom. Although here this woman is acting like it is nothing. All the people around us, crowded into the humid room like sardines. Just thinking about it has my palms sweating. My stupid heart decides it is the right time to start pounding so hard I can’t hear anything else the woman says. Until she puts her hands on my shoulders and her face is right next to mine.

“Breathe. Take a deep breath, or it’s not going to go away. Count with me.” She takes a deep breath. “One.” In. “Two.” Out. “Three.” In again.

After what feels like forever, the panic starts to subside. I realize that I’ve created a scene. It just makes the whole thing worse.

“My son, Laurence, doesn’t like crowds either,” she says with another bright smile. “My name is Sori. I take it you’re not used to the city. I used to love it, but as my son and stepdaughter are starting to grow up, I almost wish that we lived out of the city, ya know?”

Sori pulls a piece of candy out of her purse and offers it, which I gladly take. Rule number one in my family: absolutely never turn down chocolate.

She is talking so fast it is almost impossible to keep up, but I am thankful for her. Especially when more people filter in and the doors close behind them.

Realizing too late that I’ve taken her chocolate without introducing myself, I decide to cut her off the next time she opens her mouth.

“My name’s Casper,” I tell her quietly. “Casper Townsend. And you’re right. I’m not from the city. I’m only here for a month.”

Sori grimaces before patting my hand like a mother would her child. “I feel so bad for you. Here visiting, and you get stuck in traffic court. What did you do?”

The unintentional reminder of Cassie has my palms sweating almost immediately, but I can’t let her see. Instead, I do my best to swallow down the panic and offer a small smile. Although, it probably looks like I am constipated. “I double-parked in an ambulance loading zone at the hospital.”

Sori whistles. “Damn, girl. You’ve got balls. I wouldn’t do that, even though I’ve got a get out of jail free card.”

Another door opens, this time in the very front of the room. A judge enters wearing the black robes and everything, very official-looking. He is an older, stern-looking man, but he looks like he could be my grandfather instead of a judge. Although, the judges at home never bother with formalities like robes. The last time I actually had to go to court, I think the judge was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of flip-flops when he went through the docket.

“Let’s get this over with,” the judge interrupts. “I have plans for my weekend, and they don’t include staying here any longer than necessary.” He holds out a hand, and the bailiff that I’ve missed completely hands him a pile of papers.

“Sori Morgan.” The judge sounds surprised. “Why are you on my docket?”

Sori blushes as she stands up, but not before grabbing a present out of her bag and shooting me a devious smile.

“Judge Carter, I am soooo sorry. Emmett got me a new car for my birthday. Instead of doing the smart thing and letting the driver take me to work, I thought I’d be smart and do it myself. Except I parked too close to a fire hydrant.”

Judge Carter glares at her. “Can I assume that you’ve already handled that?”

“Oh yes.” Sori nods furiously, her smile slightly wobbly. “I donated to the New York Fallen Firefighter Foundation, the New York Police and Fire Widows’ and Children Fund, and Emmett is signed up to sponsor their benefit this year as well.” I see her flush all the way up the back of her tan neck. “It was the least we could do.”

Sori starts walking toward the massive oak bench, where Judge Carter is holding a gavel and pointing it at her with one eyebrow raised. When the bailiff moves to stop her, the judge waves him off and holds out a hand for the present.

“What’s that?” He narrows his eyes at the plain brown package.

“It’s tickets to the Broadway show your wife mentioned wanting to see. And I swear, I don’t mind paying the fine. But if you can make sure that Emmett doesn’t find out, I will be eternally grateful.” She coughs gently. “If he finds out I got another ticket, he’ll give me no choice but to use a driver. And I like my independence.” The overly saccharine way she is talking is almost hysterical, but I can’t blame her.

I’d hate having to use a driver, too. Also, my wanting to be independent is partly why I find myself in traffic court. There is no way I can afford everything I am currently paying for and a two-thousand-dollar fine. Yeah, the piece of paper attached to my car window had just about given me a heart attack. Which would have worked in my favor since I was double-parked in an area reserved for ambulances alone, and they’d be able to get me emergency care.

A beleaguered sigh coming from Judge Carter catches me off guard. “I won’t tell him. But your fine is tripled. I assume you’ll be taking care of it today.”

“Definitely.” Sori is nodding fervently and not complaining at all. “Thank you so much, Judge Carter.” When she stops, the judge keeps talking.

“Let your driver take you next time, Mrs. Morgan. You’re dismissed.” His gavel striking the wooden surface of the bench echoes through the room.

Sori is sitting next to me again in a matter of seconds, looking far more relieved than before she’d gone up there.

“Judge Carter’s really nice,” she explains. “But I can’t have Emmett finding out about this ticket. Seriously. You’d be surprised how many times he gives me shit about my driving.”

She is utterly adorable. Like one of my students when they know they have done something wrong. They are doing their absolute best to make up for it, because they don’t want me to call their parents.

Names are called, and people go up to speak with Judge Carter one after another. He is fair, but stern, from what I can tell. Still, that doesn’t make it any easier to think about contesting my ticket. I know I screwed up, I really do. That isn’t the problem. I just hope that he’ll let me explain what was happening and why I did it. Even as I sit there thinking about it though, I can’t stop the panic and my need to run from filtering in.

I am so caught up in my thoughts that I don’t even notice Sori start to panic next to me. She reaches out and grabs my hand.

“Please don’t tell him that I got a ticket.”

Confused, I look around, expecting to see the mysterious husband that she mentioned. However, there is no one that fits the bill. The only newcomer looks like he has just stepped out of a magazine. He looks bored out of his mind, until his eyes fall on Sori. Then I watch as a switch practically flips and his grimace turns into a mischievous smile. One that if I saw it in my class, I’d immediately get suspicious.

When he gets closer, I have to make sure that my mouth isn’t hanging open, because he is freaking gorgeous. Green eyes so bright they practically melt my panties right there on the spot, and just a hint of a five o’clock shadow. Oh, I am a massive sucker for green eyes. Though his hair is what gives him away. My brother and his friends all have the same look every time they come home. Knowing he is in the military just makes my current situation worse. When he sits down on the other side of Sori, I practically sigh. And just like that, I know I am in trouble.

“What are you doing in traffic court, Sori?” His voice is perfect, too. Which just makes it worse, because he hasn’t once looked in her direction.

“Go away, Cole,” Sori bites out through the corner of her mouth. “I’m here for my friend, Casper.”

Right as she says my name, the bailiff does the same thing from the front of the room. “Casper Townsend.”

“Good luck.” Sori squeezes my hand again and then lets go as I stand up on wooden legs. I’d completely forgotten that she was even holding my hand.

Having everyone’s attention completely on me now is unnerving. Especially when the man who’d sat next to Sori, Cole, shoots one glance in my direction and then dismisses me completely. My mortification is complete, and I lick my lips as I walk stiffly up to the designated area. I am trying to remember to breathe, and managing it pretty well, I think. Until I look up at Judge Carter and everything goes fuzzy for a second.

The table in front of me offers a little reprieve when I lean against it to take a few deep breaths.

“Breathe,” Sori calls out quietly. How I heard her across the room, I don’t freaking know. Somehow her words make it through my head, over the sound of my racing heart, and I do.

The bailiff says something to the judge about my ticket. I assume it is the details of what happened, but I can’t quite focus on him. I am too busy recovering from the mini panic attack that has taken over.

“Ms. Townsend.”

I look up to see the judge staring down at me dispassionately. “You’re here to contest your parking ticket.”

“N-no, Your Honor.” I swallow. “I was in the wrong. I just hoped that I could explain what the circumstances were of the incident to you.”

From behind me, there is a snort. “Pretty girls always get out of tickets.” I don’t have to turn around to know who it is coming from. Cole. The man next to Sori. Even when I get angry at the fact that he thinks I am trying to get out of a ticket, which I am, he has no right to assume I am using my looks to do so.

“You parked illegally in an ambulance bay,” Judge Carter says disapprovingly. “What possible reason could you have for doing that?”

Sandpaper.

My throat is coated in sandpaper, and there is nothing for me to drink to make it better. There’s nothing to take away the aching sting of shame as I struggling to force the words out.

But I have to.

Not only don’t I have the money for the outrageous ticket, but it was an emergency.

I swallow, grimacing at the way the saliva burns, but I have to tell him.

“My sister,” I croak. “My sister was in a car accident, and at the time that it happened, I was just outside the city for a conference. See, I’m a teacher, and every year we have to take continuing education. This year, I was lucky that it was there. It was only an hour away.” My breath catches. “Instead of the usual ten it would have taken to get here from Maine. They needed us here, at the hospital with her.” I break down right then. Saying the words out loud for the first time and to a roomful of strangers, at that.

“Go on.” Judge Carter’s voice has changed, but I can’t see the expression on his face through my tears.

“I didn’t make it in time.” Sobbing, I keep going. “I thought I would make it in time. But I … I didn’t. And I parked there because I needed to get inside, to try and make it in time.”

I don’t want to say the words. I can’t say the words. Just like I can’t save Cassie, and I can’t stop the tears from flowing down my face in what has to be the most embarrassing situation ever.

A small tap on my shoulder has me whipping my head around. Only to see those unnerving green eyes staring at me with a handkerchief held out. “Here.” He presses it into my hand and then walks away without looking back.

Numbly, I take it and try to wipe the tears from my face. It buys me a few seconds, at least, before I have to turn back to face the judge. At this point, I am pretty certain the judge won’t lower the fine at all.

“Ms. Townsend,” Judge Carter says deeply. “Those bays are for emergency vehicles only. But what I’m piecing together from your story is that you were in the midst of an emergency yourself.” He glances to the side, and I swear he sniffles. “Sometimes this position is hard. Obeying the letter of the law, versus the spirit of the law, is a decision that isn’t easy. If I were to give you this fine, in its entirety, I would be obeying the letter of the law. However, the spirit of the law demands that I let you go with a warning.” He looks down at the papers on his desk. “I’m dismissing this ticket, Ms. Townsend. Try to have the clarity of mind, if you’re ever in this position again, to park in an actual parking space.”

I can’t speak, can’t do much of anything except nod. I hadn’t expected that, not even in the slightest. I’ve never even contested a ticket before. If my father had known about any of it, he’d have told me not to do it either. People get tickets for a reason and that I should use it as a lesson. It’s the same story that has repeated itself my entire life. Dad started out as a cop and ended up as the chief of police for our small town.

“Thank you,” I finally manage to say, remembering the manners that I’d grown up with. “I really, really appreciate it.”

Before I can step down, Judge Carter clears his throat. I look up to see compassion written all over his face.

“To badly misquote one of my granddaughter’s books, ‘You can find happiness even when life around you is dark, if you just remember to turn on the light.’ I just hope that through this trying time, you’re able to remember that.” He blushes, a spectacular shade of red climbing his cheeks as he says it, and I can’t help the small laugh that comes out.

“My students love that series, sir.”

Everything is fine after that, until I get back to my seat to see that Cole is sitting in my spot, and the only other place open is his former seat, which I take with a huff and try not to glare at him.

“I’m so sorry,” Sori whispers. “He just sat there.”

“Thank you,” I whisper over her head to the man who is finally looking at me.

Actually, he isn’t really looking at me. He is looking at my hand, which is clenching his handkerchief. I’d intended to ask for an address, that way I can wash it and send it back. Handkerchiefs are expensive and there is no way I am going to hand back one that is wet with my tears and snot.

Immediately, I know I’d never been more embarrassed in my entire life. Seriously. He is that attractive. Dumbly, and even though it isn’t my original plan in the slightest, I hold out the snot-covered cloth for him to take.

“I don’t want it back.” He furrows his brow, like he is thinking about saying something else, only to think better of it.

Of course, I have to make myself look like a fool in front of him. Completely and utterly mortified, I pull my hand back and turn to face the front of the room. I only have to sit through another few minutes of wanting to run away before I can finally leave. Thankfully, I will never have to see Cole or Sori again. Although, Sori is a complete sweetheart and I wouldn’t mind seeing her again.

Everything is finally returning to normal, and I am almost out of the woods, until Judge Carter stands up and dismisses everyone.

“Can we go now?” Cole doesn’t sound the least bit amused that Sori is waiting for me at the door a few moments later.

“No.” I hear her berate him while I am walking up. “I don’t know what your plans are, but Casper and I are going to lunch. You can find your own way home.”

I try to hide my surprise at her words. Though honestly, it seems like something she’d do and I’ve only known her for an hour.

“Hey,” I say hesitantly. It is more than obvious that Cole thinks I am interrupting their private conversation, but they are literally standing in front of the only doors to get outside.

“Great.” Sori grabs my arm. “See you later, Cole.”

She walks out without looking back. I, on the other hand, do look back. Although the glare he sends my way when he sees my eyes has a shiver racing down my spine. I just can’t tell if it is in fear or excitement.

AMAZON APPLE NOOK KOBO GOOGLE

The post No Dirty Secrets – Chapter One appeared first on Rue Lennox.

new release – no perfect love

No Perfect Love is Now Available! No Perfect Love is now available! Why you will love this book: 🔥Opposites Attract🔥He Falls First🔥Hate to Love You🔥Rushed to Love🔥First Responders🔥Complete Standalone  I don’t want to fall for the town’s golden boy. I want to stay on my side of the street and keep him away from the life I’ve managed to build for myself.   He’s everything I’m not. Professional athlete turned hero with a badge on his chest and a pair of cuffs on his hip. I’m a walking disaster, and he’s not afraid to point it out.   So why does the hate between us feel like more?  One at a time, the walls I’ve built to stay safe come crashing down until I’m barely able to decide if I want to punch him or tear his clothes off.   When I’m thrown in over my head and all my secrets come to light—Carter is the only one who can save me… unless he’s too late.  read No Perfect Love now

The post new release – no perfect love appeared first on Rue Lennox.

No Perfect Love – Chapter One

Chapter One – Avery

“I swear to all that is holy, if you don’t get your ass back up here, I’m gonna lose my shit.” The words come out before I can stop them, and the frozen look of terror on my nephew’s face says it all.

“Aunt Avery!” Rett screeches the way only a five-year-old could and still get away with it. “You’re not ’posed to say bad words to me. Daddy doesn’t like it.”

“Deacon can kiss my ass,” I mutter under my breath.

My brother doesn’t know shit when it comes to raising his son, which is why more often than not, he drops him off with me for quality ‘auntie time.’ I’m the one who taught Rett how to ride his bike, swim, and now I’m teaching him how to paddle board. Deacon isn’t a bad dad, by any means. He is just busy, running a business and keeping a handle on his club. Besides, it takes a village to raise a healthy and safe child. Especially after Deac’s wife died in childbirth.

I grab the back of Rett’s life jacket before he can float away and pull him back onto the board with me. In the process, I almost slip off the board myself. Somehow, I manage to keep hold of the paddle that we definitely need to get back to shore.

“Wow,” he gasps. “I thought for sure you’d fall over too.”

“This,” I huff. “Is why you don’t get a paddle of your own, Everett James. At least, not until you figure out how to stay on the board with me.”

“My name is Rett,” he insists with a grimace. “And Dad says paddle boards are for pussies,” he announces proudly, and really loud, right in my face.

“I got nothing to say to that.” I start maneuvering us back to shore. “But I’d like to see your father climb up on here and not fall off with you jumping around like a hyper monkey full of sugar.”

Paddle boards take a lot of effort. My stomach and feet are already starting to throb, and we haven’t even made it back to shore yet.

“Oh,” I add belatedly. “You’re not supposed to curse, either. Sittin’ here and yelling at me for it. Then you turn around and say something worse.”

Rett looks up at me from where he is sitting between my feet, rubbing his wet head all over my legs like a dog would, and smiles a nearly toothless grin.

“You love me.” He leans back against my legs and I wince against the cold. With a deep sigh that could have come straight from his dad, Rett closes his eyes. “Take me home, Aunt Avery. I’m hungry and my party won’t wait forever.”

“Yeah, yeah… Hold on, Rett. I’m gonna try to get there faster.”

Except, as soon as we leave the cove we’ve been sitting in for most of the morning while we practice, a gust of wind blows across the pond and straight into my face.

“Scoot up,” I snap after five minutes of paddling just to keep from going backwards. “I’m gonna kayak us home.”

Rett giggles but scoots up enough that I can sit behind him and wield my paddle like the weapon it is going to become.

Switching sides every few strokes isn’t easy. “I wish this thing had a paddle on both sides.” Despite that, I make it work. Otherwise, we’ll be sitting out here until someone decides to try and rescue us. Knowing my family, it won’t happen, either.

When we finally make it out of the cove, I’m covered in sweat and ready to give Everett back to his dad. Once I do that, there is definitely a beer somewhere with my name on it. Or a shot. Or both. Yeah, as I paddle us back to the dock, both sound like an amazing idea.

“Told you the party didn’t wait.” Rett pouts as we see people milling about and hear music blaring from the shore. There is nothing I can do about it, though.

“Seriously, man.” I grunt as I use the little bit of energy I have left to get us back and tied off to the dock. “You can’t even say thank you for getting us back without tipping over?”

“No.” Rett stares at me with the same hard eyes that his father has. “I can’t. I’m cold.” He holds up a finger, counting my offenses. “I’m hungry. And I’m late to my party.”

“I guess I’ll give your birthday present away, then.” I shrug as I help him back on the dock and then climb up myself. “If you’re mad at me for being an awesome aunt who takes you on paddle board rides on your birthday, you must not want the present I got you.”

I turn away, but not so far that I can’t see him out of the corner of my eye. We might be on a dock with less than three feet of water, and the kid might have a lifejacket on, but he is still my responsibility.

“Hurry up,” Rett whines from behind me. “We gotta go. I smell cake.”

Rolling my eyes seems like the only possible option. Especially when I can’t shove him over the edge of the dock, like my fingers are suddenly itching to do.

“I doubt you can smell cake from all the way over here.” But the kid has a point. The faster we get up the dock and to the crowd of people that no doubt includes my parents and brother, the faster he isn’t my responsibility anymore. “Let’s go.”

I pick him up, soaking wet and dripping lifejacket and all, and book it up the hill.

“Are you alright?” My little sister, Bailey, calls out when she sees the frazzled expression on my face. “You look like you’re dying.”

Sure, I’m huffing and about ready to keel over, but she doesn’t need to announce it to the world.

“Shut it,” I gasp as I try to catch my breath. God, Everett weighs way more than I thought he did. “Where are Mom and Dad?” Looking around, I don’t see them or Deacon anywhere.

“Mom got a flat tire on her way here, so Dad and Deac went to save her.” Bailey stuffs a handful of chips into her mouth and munches loudly on them. “Why?” She barely manages to mumble.

“Because I want to be done babysitting the birthday boy,” I snap and nod toward Everett, who I’m still carrying on my shoulder.

Speaking of which, I drop him noisily to the ground and watch as he scrambles to get his lifejacket off.

“Off,” he whines some more. “Get it off, Aunt Avery. I’m hungry.”

I do as he asks and in the next moment, he’s all the way on the other side of the yard. Leaving me standing with my sister, looking like something that washed ashore in a storm.

“You should probably change,” Bailey whispers loudly. “I’ll watch Rett while you head in and change.”

I flip her the bird, discreetly of course, and head into the house. Camp, as we call it, is actually our parents’ retirement plan. They bought a shitload of land on the pond and built a house. Taking my time, I wander through the house and grab a beer out of the fridge before heading to the bathroom so I can shower in peace.

Bailey brought it on herself, honestly. Taking on our hellion of a nephew like that is a godsend, and one I full-on plan to take advantage of. Rett always wants to spend the night at my house when his dad is out of town for work. Whenever he is there, I feel like I can’t even shower without him interrupting, or me freaking out about the silence. He is the best birth control ever. Well, him and the classroom full of sixth graders that I teach on a regular basis.

Yes, I take the beer I pulled from the kitchen into the shower with me, too. Nothing tastes better than an ice-cold beer in a steaming hot shower. At least, not after spending the day trying to keep Rett from killing himself.

“Are you almost done?”

I slip and fall in the shower at the sudden intrusion.

“What the fuck, Bailey?” I screech as I try not to die in the water and find my footing.

“Mom and Dad are back, but Deac has to go get more beer I guess, so no more Everett duty for me.” She croons. “Sometimes, it’s good to be the slacker in the family.”

“Whatever, asshole.” I grunt as I try to get up but slip on the conditioner that still coats the shower floor. “Help me out of here.” I push the shower curtain to the side and hold out a soap-covered hand for Bailey to help me up.

“You’re lucky I love you.” Still, she helps just the same. Once I’m standing up, she lets go and shuts the curtain for me. “I brought you another beer. And I snuck the vodka away from the bar, too.”

Getting out of the shower fast becomes my top priority, and I happily grab the towel Bailey is holding out with a smile on her face once I’m finished rinsing off.

“I hate you,” I tell her while taking the proffered beer she hands me after I wrap the towel around my body. “But I love you too.”

“I mean, you should be happy I sent you inside.” Bailey chugs her own beer and then burps, loudly. “Nobody wants to see all that.” She motions toward my body. “In a two-piece.”

Without even needing to look down, I stare her straight in the eyes and laugh. “Don’t be jealous that my boobs are bigger than yours.”

Bailey snorts, and then watches as I finish my beer with one hand while holding the towel around my body with the other. Bailey dutifully avoids looking at the scar that now takes up most of my lower abdomen when I finish my beer and start to dry my body off.

Grateful doesn’t even begin to describe my emotions at her acceptance of my injury. I don’t even look at it in the mirror anymore. Not if I can help it. Ignoring it works, but I haven’t been able to let anyone else touch it. Not since Will broke my heart and made me feel like I was less than a woman.

“You’re such a bitch,” she mutters darkly. “You know that, right?”

I shove her out of the way so I can get to my clothes, still sitting on the counter waiting. “You were insinuating that I’m fat. All’s fair in love and war, Little.” Little, the nickname I’ve called her since the day our parents brought her home.

She cracks open the vodka bottle while I get dressed, and hands it over dutifully once I finally squeeze into my compression leggings and the oversized t-shirt that has become my standard outfit when I don’t have to be at school. My brown hair, long and curling slightly, even without being brushed, falls down my back since I don’t like to put it up when it is damp.

“Think we could finish this beast off before Mom and Dad come looking for us?” I stare longingly at the clear depths, but Bailey’s snicker reminds me that I am not alone.

“Not a chance in hell. It’s Everett’s birthday, and he’s their favorite grandchild.”

“He’s their only grandchild,” I correct her. “I’m not having any crotch-goblins. So it’s not like they can get any from this side of the family.”

“Don’t look at me,” she counters as she steals the bottle and takes a long slug. After a cough, she goes on, handing it back to me. “I’m only twenty-one. I’ve got a life ahead of me before I start popping out little hellions for Mom and Dad to spoil. I know our sister isn’t, either.” Bailey tilts her head to the side and looks at me with a strange expression. “Did you just call kids crotch-goblins?”

Taking a drink, I nod and laugh. She shakes her head in response. “I don’t think you can call them that. You’re a teacher, for Christ’s sake. You’re supposed to be a good influence, Avery.”

“That doesn’t change what they are. I mean, I’ve got Karen Zucker’s kid in my class this year. Do you remember her? She was in Deacon’s class in school. An outright bitch, for sure. She literally always made a point of showing that I was just tagging along during their fun.” Bailey nods while taking the bottle from my hand to get another drink. “And her little asshole of a son is seriously just as terrible. I caught him trying to cut off a girl’s ponytail last week. He even tried to say it was an accident.”

I take the bottle back and swallow some of the burning liquor, relishing the way it feels as it floods through my veins.

“But he had leaned forward, and the scissors in his hand were wrapped around her hair. That poor girl had a high pony, too. She would have been practically bald.”

With the warmth of the alcohol flowing through my system, all the stress and worries from earlier vanish and I’m left feeling slightly tingly.

“Party’s started,” Bailey says a few minutes later. “And there’s a difference now, Big. You’re not tagging along on one of Deac’s adventures. You’re a force all on your own.”

I smile, unable to help myself, but Bailey doesn’t stop there.

“A ton of kids, adults, and people we generally want to avoid at all costs. Now that you’ve got your liquid courage, though, wanna go laugh at the single moms who try to get Deac’s attention?”

“That sounds like an amazing plan.” Watching all the women who are obsessed with getting a piece of Deacon’s attention is easily one of my favorite pastimes. Especially when we can spot them from a mile away. “When he finally finds someone, it’s not gonna be one of the wannabe groupies.”

Bailey snorts. “You’re not joking. If Deac hadn’t put his foot down about his kid’s birthday, I’m sure it would be almost X-rated out there.”

I take another longing look at the bottle, laughing when I see that we haven’t even made a dent, and decide enough is enough.

Anxiety is a bitch. Anxiety, mixed with a group of people I don’t know, and a bunch of random kids would normally be enough to send me into my room for a week. In the classroom, I control the rules, the environment, all of it. But out here, in the middle of the woods, for Rett’s birthday party? Not a chance in hell. Bailey knows, no doubt, and brought the alcohol as a mediocre coping mechanism. Usually, I’d just leave. That isn’t really possible, though.

“Let’s get it over with.”

Bailey grabs my arm, and that should have been my first clue to run in the opposite direction. Instead, I smile and pick up the still-mostly-full bottle of vodka and walk through the door with a smile on my face. A smile that promptly falls when I see the very devil of a woman that I’ve been dealing with since childhood hanging on my brother’s arm.

Karen Zucker, the woman who won’t lift a finger to do anything about her son terrorizing other students. The woman who’d stolen my first boyfriend. And now, the one who has apparently turned her eyes on Deacon.

“What. The. Fuck.” I let go of my sister’s arm and hand her the bottle.

Rage doesn’t even begin to convey the emotion pouring through my veins.

“She has no right,” I hiss. “None at all.”

“Too late to run,” Bailey snips cheerfully. “You’ll just have to get rid of her.”

My smile turns feral, and I go to do just that. The crowd parts, albeit reluctantly, since there are children running around everywhere. That, and the fact that I only stand about five-feet tall on a good day.

“Move…” I demand through clenched teeth as someone steps into my path. “Now!”

My order falls on deaf ears, though, when I look up and see one of the club hangarounds.

“Your brother is busy,” he says cheerfully. “I don’t think he’d want you bothering him.”

I put one hand on my hip and look up at him while biting my bottom lip while I think about the best way to handle this ignorant brute. Finally settling on blunt, I let him have it. “That’s your first mistake.” I move around him, but he steps in front of me again.

“I’m serious, Avery. Your brother’s busy.”

Though I don’t even know how this guy knows my name, because I don’t have a clue who he is. His short black hair and dark eyes might look intimidating to most anyone else… but not me. I deal with children who could tear him apart without even thinking about it.

“Leroy,” he says when it is clear that I don’t know him at all. “My name’s Leroy.”

“Look, Leroy.” I say with my tone overly saccharine-sweet. “You really don’t want to get in my way. Not today.”

When he puts his arm around me, he makes the biggest mistake he possibly ever could. He doesn’t need to fear my brother, or any of the men who actually belong in his club. He should have thought twice about touching me since I’m a force to be reckoned with.

Too late, I hear someone call out my name in warning. Deacon is too far away, though, to stop what is going to happen next.

I grab the wrist that is currently digging into my shoulder and twist it so hard an audible popping sound fills the air. “You made a mistake, Leroy.” He drops to the ground, the pressure I applied to his wrist too much for him to keep standing.

Normally, I’d just drop his hand and walk away. I hate being touched. Literally, every person in my life knows it. My brother has told the members of his club not to touch me.

“You laid your hands on me.”

Leroy’s eyes dart in the direction that Deacon had been standing with Karen. Clearly, he isn’t concerned with me, but with what Deacon will do to him for touching me.

“Not only that, Leroy. My brother isn’t the one you should be afraid of. I am.” I lean down into his face, noting that he might actually be attractive if his eyes weren’t filling up with unshed tears. “You shouldn’t ever touch a woman without her permission.”

I drop his wrist and turn away, ready to lay into my brother for bringing that hussy to his son’s birthday party.

Unfortunately, the brick wall I ran into wasn’t wearing a leather jacket. He is wearing a badge and the handcuffs in his hands aren’t fuzzy or fake-looking in the slightest. When I look up into a pair of the most intense eyes I’ve ever seen, I almost pass out.

I open my mouth, ready to apologize to the god of a man standing in front of me, but that’s not what comes out.

“The vodka made me do it.”

AMAZON

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Check Out My Cock

I have chickens.

Which should come as no surprise to anyone because I’m a weirdo. I have so many of them that I’m starting to make up stories for them.

But this?

This is Sherm, my Black Jersey Giant Rooster that was supposed to be a pullet (hen) but he decided that he was a rooster.

And I love him a lot. 

The post Check Out My Cock appeared first on Rue Lennox.

Rockin’ Romance Readers 2023

It’s taken me a few days. (who am I kidding, it’s taken like two weeks) to get back to normal after coming home from Knoxville and the RRR ’23 reader conference. It was an absolute BLAST. 

If you’re an author, looking for a great environment to attend for a signing, look no further. The women who run this signing, Jackie and Rebecca, are stunning souls who somehow manage to keep their shit together while dealing with almost 100 authors, and a ton of readers. I honestly don’t know how they do it. 

For readers, not only were there a TON of authors, but general admission tickets were only $20.00, which is amazing. 

I’m going to take a hot second here and talk about my trip, the signing, the hotel, and just… everything I experienced during this event. 

If you’re looking for drama, you’re not going to find it here. If you’re looking for a recommendation, and information for how it might be for you? This is the post for you. 

I drove down, with my littles, from my house in Maine. 

The drive took us two days, and we stopped to stay with one of my author friends, who also attended RRR, E.C. Land. Our kids are all friends, so it doubled as a break/vacation for them, and a chance for us to get out of the car for a day. 

Fast forward a lot of hours and laughs and food and midnight bathroom stops in the middle of the night on the side of the road, and we got to the hotel. 

Not only did the staff at the hotel make the kids feel welcome, but they also made sure I had everything I needed to unload and get my signing stuff up to my room! 

The day before the events, we got relaxed and settled and just puttered around the hotel. If you have a chance to get in a day or two early, I highly recommend it! Just for the environment and the fact that you can gear up and get ready without being stressed. 

Friday, we only had to be available for the meet and greet – so all day was another vacation! The meet and greet was PACKED. Tons of readers just laughing, having a few drinks and snacks, and enjoying the authors. 

Not only that, but the authors were able to chat and ccatch up, and meet new friends too.

At 7 the next morning, we started setting up, and then – the VIP and early bird attendees got to come in. Time flew by with a ton of signed books, free swag, and games. 

After lunch, which I usually skip because I don’t find the signing food very good (BUT THIS FOOD WAS GREAT) and the regular signing started with a freaking BANG. 

I sold out of some books, almost ran out of my free gifts for readers, and ended up not having a ton of stuff to pack up for the trip home. 

In between all of this, I got to make plans for dinner, the kids hung out, and. wespent the night in the pool with drinks and other authors/their kids! 

Did this sound like a sappy, brief overview? Absolutely. But you don’t understand. Usually signgings are a double-edged sword. I have fun, but I want to hide in my room for them. I want to sleep. I want to escape. 

That wasn’t the case at RRR. 

I had so much fun. I seriously wore a smile almost the entire trip. 

Oh – and they have Starbucks in the hotel. 

It was a perfect experience, and I can’t wait to go again! 

*All photos posted with permission of those photographed*

If you have photos of me in them and want to drop them in the comments, go for it and I’ll add them to the post. <3

 

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