Michael Thomas Perone's Blog, page 9

Read a Sneak Preview of My New Novel

My next novel, Déjà View: A Kid Nightmare, will be released imminently (translation for you kids out there: “will drop any sec”), so I thought I’d give a brief taste: a full chapter from the book. I was going to post the first chapter (after the Prologue), but I thought this one would better represent the overall tone I was seeking. In other words, it’s a little silly, slightly spooky, and somewhat surreal, especially the ending. So while you might not know the characters or understand everything that’s going on (How could you? You’re coming to the story several chapters in), you’ll have a better idea of the feeling you’ll get reading it. You’ll also notice a very brief cameo by a certain trio of boys, but sorry Danger Peak fans, this is the only mention of the Wild Boars in this novel. (I like the idea of my books sharing the same world; call it the PLU: Perone Literary Universe.)

Anyway, enjoy! (As I always say: Or not!)

Chapter Four: Chuck E. Bites the Big One

Mrs. Dalton’s brown, broken-down Pontiac station wagon was filled with nearly ten kids, most jammed up shoulder-to-shoulder in the rear, pressed against the back window. Bobby was happy to be surrounded by his friends, but he kept closest to Joe and Max. After several sharp turns zigzagging through the suburban streets, the car turned into a huge parking lot, and its young occupants greeted that glorious electric sign they looked forward to seeing every year:

WELCOME TO CHUCK E. CHEESE’S PIZZA TIME THEATRE

The line of kids, with Bobby in front, burst out of the car as soon as his mother opened the rear door, and she had to scold them from accidentally running into traffic like beheaded chickens. The typical mini-groups formed out of the larger mass; the few girls invited swarmed together in feminine solidarity, while Robert, Chris, and Rinnie, the biker kids who were each sporting a custom-made Wild Boars T-shirt, marched through the crowd to a rhythm that only they could hear. Eventually, everyone came together once they entered the doors. As soon as they bustled inside the entrance and onto the soda-stained floors, smelling that fresh aroma of cheap pizza, they gazed in hypnotic awe at row after row of mint arcade games. Set apart from the rest of the restaurant on a carpeted riser, the machines were arranged in a maze so that navigating them was almost as much fun as playing them.

“I wanna play Pac-Man!” Max enthused like a toddler.

Joe sneered. “Pac-Man is a girls’ game.”

“Then that’s perfect for Max,” Bobby quipped, ribbing his friend with an elbow to let him know he was just joking. Besides, it was his birthday; he could get away with it.

“Donkey Kong is more my speed,” Joe informed them with an air of pride, as he knew the others were well aware that it was one of the most difficult games on the market to master.

The sounds of exploding cars and zapping aliens enveloped the youthful crowd. Looking around at the almost unlimited pizza and electronic entertainment, they realized this was their nirvana.

“Here,” Bobby’s mother began, passing around a bucket of golden coins, “I’ll set up our table for dinner. You guys take some tokens.” Feeling like Charlie in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, Max greedily grabbed two handfuls, hoping she wouldn’t notice. “Hey, Max!” she said. “Easy buddy. One handful at a time, okay?” She noticed.

Ignoring her, he twirled to race off in the opposite direction where Pac-Man patiently waited. Surprisingly, there wasn’t a line for it, as was usually the case. Bobby wondered if the game’s popularity was finally waning, after all the home versions available, including the one for the Atari 2600, which didn’t come close to matching the true experience of the arcade. After scooping his own coins, he spun around to join his friends, with Joe sticking close by like a lapdog.

“I’m going to play Goonies,” he told Joe.

“That game’s lame,” Joe replied. “It’s nothing like the movie. You just shoot at rats with a slingshot the whole time.”

“Don’t you like anything besides Donkey Kong?” Bobby asked as they ascended to the second level where the games loudly blipped and blooped in their impressionable ears.

“Hey, I prefer a challenge,” Joe boasted.

“There it is!” Bobby happily called out, pointing to his precious machine. Again, like Pac-Man, there was no line. There was no such luck for Joe. Sensing his disappointment, Bobby added, “C’mon, watch me kill a bunch of rats.” Just as he was about to put a coin through the slot, he heard his mother call from behind.

“Bobby!” she yelled. “Your other friend just arrived!”

“Other friend”? Bobby thought. What could she—

As he turned around, he saw what she meant. Derrick was standing there, holding a small plastic bag that looked like it was recycled from a supermarket. He had forgotten all about Derrick, who apparently did decide to bring a gift.

“What’s up, dude?” he greeted as Bobby and Joe reluctantly descended the riser to meet him. Bobby noticed a clear change in his tone, as if he was putting on his formal voice for his mother’s benefit. Though he was never this way in school, Bobby reasoned Derrick could act friendly and mature if he wanted.

“Hey,” was all Bobby could muster. It was obvious to everyone, especially Derrick, that he wasn’t excited about his arrival.

“Gotcha something,” he said, handing him the bag and hoping to improve his mood.

“Thanks,” Bobby replied noncommittally. After opening the bag, he pulled out a white T-shirt with a Married With Children logo stitched across the front, complete with green slime covering the first word. Bobby’s mother gasped in horror. The show was decidedly grownup, and she never allowed her son to watch it, though he snuck in a few episodes late at night when his Mom was sleeping. Most of the humor went over his head anyway.

When he didn’t get a response, Derrick said, “It’s my favorite show,” as if in explanation. Apparently, to Derrick, you were supposed to buy people your favorite things for their birthday, not theirs.

“Thanks,” Bobby repeated, with even less enthusiasm this time.

“I’ll just put this at your table,” his Mom said as she delicately took the shirt from her son’s hands and placed it back in the bag, out of sight. She acted as if she was cleaning up dog vomit.

After she left, Derrick asked, “Where’s Max?”

“Playing Pac-Man,” Bobby answered.

“That game’s for girls,” Derrick said.

“That’s what I said,” Joe replied, nodding in solidarity with the person he invited. The trio looked across the crowded floor to spy Max’s machine, but he was nowhere to be found.

“Looks like he wiped out already,” Derrick informed the other two.

Joe clucked his tongue. “Leave it to Max to get slaughtered in Pac-Man after a minute and a half.”

“Where is he now?” Bobby asked. Derrick didn’t answer. He simply pointed to the end of the restaurant where the ball chamber lay. Max was preparing to nosedive into a pit filled with over a thousand plastic, multicolored balls. He was the only one from Bobby’s party still small enough to play in the ball pit, though Joe came close. The rest of the frenzied occupants pelting each other with the brightly colored balls were Third Graders or younger.

Max leaped into the air and folded his legs under him, crying, “Cannonball!” The ensuing implosion sent those Third Graders pinballing against the walls of the pit. Max was overwhelmed with glee as he playfully romped through the balls, tackling the smaller kids who were almost drowning in them. This was the only time of year when Max’s size was an advantage, being the tallest one in the pit, and he relished it.

Derrick rolled his eyes. “He’s gonna get salmonella poisoning,” he spat.

“He did,” Joe reported. “Last year.” Bobby was about to contribute to the conversation when a piercing whistle split the air, even drowning out the endless noise of the videogames. The three looked over to see a Chuck E. employee dragging Max out of the pit. Though it was only January, he was dressed like a lifeguard.

“No roughhousing,” the “guard” admonished him. “Besides, you’re too old to play here anyway.” Max looked like he was about to have another one of his epic crying fits, but he stifled back the tears when he spied Derrick observing the action in the distance. He didn’t want to give him any unnecessary ammunition.

“C’mon,” Derrick said, patting Joe’s arm. “Let’s go play Skee-Ball.”

“I’d rather play some videogames,” Bobby countered. “Right, Joe?”

Joe’s eyes darted between the two kids: one comforting and familiar, one exciting and new. “Uh, I’m gonna go with Derrick.”

Bobby’s eyes betrayed him before his words did. “But you hate Skee-Ball!”

“People change,” was Joe’s dumb response.

“Whatever,” was Bobby’s even simpler reply as he watched the two skitter away towards the miniature bowling game. Then, to himself, he added, “It’s my birthday,” as Max sauntered up to him.

“Hey,” he said, “wanna chase me through the cheese maze underneath Chuck E.’s stage?”

“I’m too tall this year,” Bobby bemoaned. “I won’t fit.”

Max sighed in disappointment and said, “Then just watch me!” And with that, he was off. Bobby smiled and followed his friend.

An hour later, Bobby’s guests were seated around a table in the party room, devouring towers of pizza. Bobby and his friends had a front-row seat to the stage of Chuck E. Cheese’s band, an assortment of animatronic animals: a chicken, a dog, some kind of purple monster that resembled McDonaldland’s Grimace, and, of course, Chuck E. himself. Bobby often wondered why anyone would make a rat the mascot for their kid-friendly pizza restaurant; it seemed unsanitary. It mattered little, though. He came for the food and games, not the dinner entertainment. Every year, these robotic animals would mortify him by crooning “Happy Birthday,” their voices becoming craggier as the robots got older, worn from singing over a thousand birthdays to over a thousand boys and girls.

“Mom,” he asked, leaning in conspiratorially so his friends couldn’t hear, “can we skip the Chuck E. song this year? I’m getting a little too old for it.”

“It’s tradition, sweetie,” she replied in a singsong voice to keep up appearances. Before he could respond, Chuck E. came alive, as if possessed by some ancient curse.

“Hey everyone!” it began. “I hear it’s somebody’s birthday!” Derrick and Joe, seated next to each other, offered sardonic, golfer’s applause. The twitchy robot tried reaching for its guitar as his “bandmates” grabbed their own respective instruments. But the twitching suddenly became a trembling as the robot’s arms flailed past his guitar and bonked the chicken, who in turn bumped into the dog. Now all four automatons were shaking as if caught in their own personal earthquake.

“Uh, is this part of the show?” Derrick asked Joe.

“Nah,” Joe replied. “I think Chuck E.’s had one too many birthdays.”

An announcement came over the loudspeaker that there were some “technical difficulties,” but the perverse show continued unbidden. At once, a comet of sparks burst out of the robotic rodent’s back; for a split second, it resembled a flame-spitting sprinkler. Bobby briefly wondered if the thick red curtain behind the performers would catch fire, but fate was kind, and the sparks receded. In the throes of its last herky-jerky movements, Chuck E. finally keeled over and died, its head collapsing onto the floor with a clunk to stare directly at Bobby with one glowing dead eye.

“Hep-pee…burth-dee…,” the mangled voice managed to eke out one final time. Bobby stared in horror as the beloved childhood mascot bit the big one. He was never a huge fan of these robot shows, but he never meant to attend Chuck E.’s funeral. Bobby turned to the end of his table to spy Derrick and Joe snickering to each other in a private conversation, and he felt an aloneness he had never experienced before.

MTP

P.S.: Danger Peak is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

DangerPeak.com Has Been Revamped (and Has a New Name)

These guys get it.

After a year and a half (and as promised in my last blog), this here website has been redesigned—and given a new name. Regular visitors of my site (all three of you) may have already noticed this, but now when you type in “www.dangerpeak.com,” it automatically redirects you to “www.michaelthomasperone.com.” I realize in an early blog I explained the reason why I named my website after my book and not myself is because, “I don’t want to be famous; I want my book to be famous” (also, “www.dangerpeak.com” is a lot easier to remember and type than my full name), but it’s also kinda ridiculous to name my site after one book when there’s a lot more going on in my world. For one thing, it’s no longer my only novel. (Pick up a copy of Déjà View this November, kids!) For another, I also wrote a poetry book, The Darkest Side: A Collection of Twisted Nursery Rhymes, and a compendium of my best blogs and articles over the past 25 years, Lists, Life, and Other Unimportant Details, which is still free to own as a PDF when people enter their email address to sign up for blog updates at the bottom of this page: www.michaelthomasperone.com/blog. I noticed people are still “following” my website by clicking the “Follow” button in the lower right-hand corner of their screen (something I learned that comes automatic with every WordPress site), but I won’t be able to send you the PDF that way because entering your address in that tiny box will only give WordPress your email address, not me. You have to enter it in the large box at the bottom of my blog page.

The homepage of this site has been redesignated as “Books” with a listing of the four books I’ve written so far. “So far?” you ask. Well, to be honest, I have an idea kicking around in my head for another book, though it won’t be a novel. That’s all I’ll say for now. It’s way too early to tease a new book, especially since my next book hasn’t even been released yet. I created a new page for Déjà View at “www.michaelthomasperone.com/dejaview,” and I added a dropdown submenu to my “Books” header menu, listing the four different books I’ve written. This last bit took forever to figure out… Okay, after a week of trying and failing, I just had a WordPress IT guy do it for me. Don’t let my nerdy appearance fool you; I’m not a computer guy!

Finally, you may have also noticed I updated all my social media accounts to read “Michael Thomas Perone” instead of simply “Danger Peak,” including my Facebook and Twitter accounts. My new Facebook address is “www.facebook.com/michaelthomasperone,” though for Twitter, it’s still “www.twitter.com/dangerpeak,” because it seems I’m not able to change my Twitter handle (oh, sorry Elon Musk, “X handle”), and I’m too lazy to create a new Twitter/X handle and gather followers all over again just to rename it.

In other Danger Peak/Michael Thomas Perone news, I approved the interior design of Déjà View last week and will be receiving first proofs to review soon. And, just for kicks, feel free to drop me a line and let me know how your summer is going. Hopefully swimmingly. (“HA!” screams ALF offsides.) It’s almost time for my annual watch of the Rob Reiner classic Stand By Me on Labor Day weekend, which means there’s precious time left of this magical season.

MTP

P.S.: Next blog: A Sneak Preview of Déjà View

P.P.S.: Danger Peak is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

Cover, Title, and Plot Reveal of My Next Novel

COMING NOVEMBER 2023 (hopefully!)

Well, I guess I’ve had you guys hanging on long enough. Over the past several months, I’ve been slowly leaking little hints about what my next book is about, culminating with revealing the most info in my interview with the 1980s Now podcast. No more tiptoeing around the details. Here they are. My next book will be titled Déjà View. Yes, I realize I spelled “Vu” differently. There’s a reason for that.

Without further ado, here is the tentative back cover text of the book, giving the plot’s synopsis:

Twelve-year-old Bobby Dalton doesn’t want to grow up. All his life, he has relied on the imaginary games of childhood with his best friends Joe and Max to get him through the tough times. That all changed when his Seventh Grade class buried a time capsule to commemorate the end of the 1980s. Now Bobby is seeing visions: doubles of himself, his friends, and others. He calls them “déjà view.” Are these visions real, or has his imagination finally gotten away from him? And if they’re real, what do they want? Bobby needs to figure this all out to survive his childhood…and his life. From the author of the award-winning Danger Peak, Déjà View is a darkly funny coming-of-age dramedy with a sci-fi twist, cranked up to eleven. But even more, it’s at once a pulse-pounding thrill ride and a haunting portrait of paranoia, mental illness, and the unbearable sadness of growing up.

Similar to Danger Peak, this book will have a subtitle: A Kid Nightmare. Those with fantastic memories (or who are just genuine fans of mine, if they exist) will know the subtitle for Danger Peak is A Kid Adventure, so in this way, the books are somewhat linked. Déjà View is a spiritual sequel to Danger Peak, but please don’t expect Danger Peak 2! This book will be much darker and a little spooky at times.

That’s all I’ve got for today, folks. This website will be redesigned in the near future to incorporate the new book, as soon as I remember how to work in WordPress! (I’ve just been posting blogs for a year and a half.)

MTP

P.S.: Danger Peak is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

I’m Finally on Instagram! (for Now!)

courtesy Twitter…wait

This will be an incredibly brief blog/update: I finally gave in and got an Instagram account. Those who’ve been following me know how reluctant I’ve been to join other social media sites besides the Big Two (Facebook and Twitter). In fact, in a deleted clip from my 1980s Now interview, I argued against using Instagram because I’m not a photographer and my book isn’t a picture book. Not counting the chapter design lightning bolts and the small illustration on the back cover, there’s really only one picture in my book: the front cover. How many times can I post it before people get sick of it? (Well, it’s already been uploaded once as my first ever post, so time will tell.)

Over the past year as I’ve chatted with other writers (whether online or in person, but mostly online), I was told how surprised they were that I wasn’t on Instagram. Since so many people seem to be fleeing the aforementioned Big Two social media sites, they’ve convinced me that I’m basically leaving money on the table by not joining Instagram, especially by not taking advantage of the ever popular hashtag #bookstagram.

I just set up my account this week, so don’t expect much (only three posts so far), but come join the party at my handle: michaelthomasperone (I learned my lesson by not naming one of my social media sites after one book.)

Here is a direct link:

My Shiny New Instagram

I’ve also updated my Contact page with the new link. Come join me, won’t you? (btw, if I ever end up joining TikTok, I give you permission to have me committed.)

In other Danger Peak news, my previously mentioned 1980s Now interview has finally been uploaded to YouTube. Technical glitches aside, it’s probably the best interview I’ve ever had. Will asked some really insightful questions, and of course, it helps when your interviewer actually read your book. I updated my blog on the podcast with a link to the video, but just in case you don’t want to go searching for old blogs, I’m posting it below:

I also updated my Bio page with a “Videos” section and included this link. Unfortunately, it looks like the Back to the ‘80s radio show has become obsolete, so my interview with that podcast is now lost to time (much like the ‘80s itself).

MTP

P.S.: Next week’s blog: The Big Reveal!

P.P.S.: Danger Peak is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

What Exactly Does “Coming of Age” Mean?

Best. Movie. Ever.

File another blog under random thoughts. (I’m still trying to convince myself that not every blog I write has to be 1,000 words or more.) Since my book hit the number 2 spot on Amazon’s listing of coming-of-age novels a few weeks ago, I’ve been thinking a lot about what exactly that term means. What is “coming of age”? What age? And what precisely happens at that age? Is it just puberty, or is it something more? I’d like to think it’s the latter.

I would never claim to offer the official definition of coming-of-age, but for me personally, it’s when your brain first “comes online,” so to speak. It’s when you’re first fully aware of the zeitgeist and pop-culture soup we’re all influenced by: the songs on the radio, the shows on T.V., the books at the library and in school, and the movies in the theater. To borrow an overused aquatic metaphor, it’s when us fish finally figure out we’re swimming in water. For me, that time was in the late ‘80s (hence why my book takes place in the “greed-is-good” decade).

Ironically, although Danger Peak was a #2 coming-of-age novel, and I even describe it as such on this website, I don’t really think of it as fitting squarely in that genre. Sure, there are elements of the trope (most notably in the scenes when Robert argues with his father), but I’ve always thought of my book as more of an action-adventure (with elements of magical realism). In other words, this book was my impression of a Steven Spielberg film. My next book is my coming-of-age novel. In fact, I take the genre to the Nth degree. (Some beta readers would argue I went too far.) This next book is much more in line with my voice, so it’s a little darker, occasionally ironic, and even spooky. This upcoming novel is the most autobiographical thing I’ve ever written (but don’t worry; I make sure there are supernatural goings-on to keep the reader interested), and, as such, it’s filled with the songs, movies, and even literal signs that woke me up to this pond called life.

So to sum up: What is coming of age? Maybe it’s when we finally wake up and learn we better start swimming.

In other news, there’s only one day left of my Danger Peak Goodreads giveaway. As a reminder, I’m giving away 20 signed copies of Danger Peak one…final…time. (Cue dramatic sting!) Also as a reminder (and what I failed to mention in my last blog), you have to be a member of Goodreads in order to enter the contest, but don’t worry; both a Goodreads membership and entering the contest are free! Speaking of failing to mention things, astute readers of my email list may have noticed I failed to include the link to the giveaway when I originally posted my last blog. Oopsy! That’s pretty important info to leave out! Anyway, you may have noticed I updated the blog with the link, but just in case, here it is again:

Goodreads Book Giveaway Danger Peakby Michael Thomas Perone

Giveaway ends July 28, 2023.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

So far, as of this writing, 1,927 people have entered. Good luck, everyone!

MTP

P.S.: Danger Peak is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

It’s the Last Danger Peak Goodreads Giveaway!

We’ve got to move these units!

Hear ye, hear ye, I’m giving away 20 signed copies of Danger Peak on Goodreads…one final time. I know I swore that the last time would probably be it, but you know what they say about using the word “never.” (Fievel had a whole song about it in An American Tail.) A few weeks ago, I was rummaging around in my basement looking at leftover copies of my book, thinking I didn’t have many left, and it turns out I have a little over 20, so after this giveaway, I’ll only have a few copies remaining. (I need to keep some for me, y’know; I am a nostalgic guy.)

But there’s actually another reason why this will likely be the last Goodreads giveaway. If I’m being 100% real (and honestly guys, after blogging for almost a year and a half, I think I’ve gotten close enough to both of my readers to tell you the truth), the Goodreads reviewers haven’t been particularly kind to my little novel-that-could. (Amazon readers were much kinder.) I find this ironic since most of them received the book for free. The profile of one Goodreads winner who gave my book a negative review reveals her favorite genre is women’s fiction, especially romance novels. I couldn’t help thinking, “Did you bother reading the description of my book in the giveaway, or do you just enter every Goodreads contest willy-nilly hoping you’ll eventually win one?” If you’ve read my book, you know it’s as far away as possible from the genre that this reader prefers: It’s young adult (some would say “middle grade”), and there are hardly any female characters in it. It’s very much a boys’ adventure. Do your research, Goodreads users! Pick a different giveaway that suits your tastes and give the readers of my genre a chance to win!

The profile of another “Goodreader” who gave my book a negative review revealed he gives most books 1 or 2 stars (out of 5), not counting his favorite books of all time. It’s like, “Why join Goodreads if you’re just going to crap on everything? Do you even like reading?”

But I digress. To reiterate: This is it! I’m not doing another Goodreads giveaway until my next novel. As most gamblers are painfully aware, you have to be in it to win it, so try to grab a free copy before they’re all gone!

Click on the link below for your chance to win!

Goodreads Book Giveaway Danger Peakby Michael Thomas Perone

Giveaway ends July 28, 2023.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

*Disclaimer: The leftover copies of my book are from three different editions, so you may get the typo-riddled first edition (I kid; there were only a few mistakes), the more polished second edition, or the third and final edition with a few extra ‘80s references thrown in. It’s a grab bag! I have no idea which version you’ll receive, so please don’t complain on Goodreads that you didn’t get the extra special version you wanted. Again, the book was free.

In other news, there’s been some technical difficulties with uploading the video version of my 1980s Now interview on YouTube, but hopefully, that’ll be up in a day or so. When it does go up, I’ll update my last blog about the podcast with a link to the video. Also, be sure to follow my socials for the latest and greatest updates on all things Danger Peak:

Danger Peak on FacebookDanger Peak on Twitter

MTP

P.S.: Next week’s blog: What Exactly Does “Coming of Age” Mean?

P.P.S.: Danger Peak is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

The 1980s Now Podcast Interviewed Me About Danger Peak, My Next Book, and the ‘80s of It All

courtesy 1980s Now (duh)

A few weeks ago, the popular ‘80s-centric podcast 1980s Now interviewed me about Danger Peak, the writing process, and the eternal question, “Why the ‘80s?” This is by far the biggest podcast that ever interviewed me. (No offense to the others.) 1980s Now is both a Top 200 Comedy podcast and Top 200 T.V. and Film podcast. That’s more than impressive considering there are literally over 5 million podcasts currently streaming. (I Googled it.) Also, they interviewed the likes of Ernie Hudson (Winston from Ghostbusters!), Cassandra Peterson (Elvira herself!), Dee Wallace (E.T.’s Mom!), and Sir Mix-A-Lot (the “Baby Got Back” guy!). And now they’re interviewing little, ol’ me, an indie author with a barely read blog. I feel seen!

Honestly, I thought I was shooting for the stars when I approached this podcast, so imagine my surprise when they not only agreed to the interview, but when I told host Will Padilla I would send him a free copy of Danger Peak, he responded with, “I already bought it months ago.” I almost replied with a dorky, “You mean you’ve heard of it??” Sometimes I forget that this book exists outside the tiny universe of my friends and family. Also, after all the interviews I’ve had in the past year about Danger Peak, it was beyond refreshing to be interviewed by someone who’s actually read my book.

In the 30-something-minute interview, you’ll hear us talk about the inspirations behind Danger Peak (which, if you’ve been paying ANY attention to this blog, you already know), growing up in the ‘80s, and being influenced by the “pop-culture soup.” Plus, you’ll get a sneak peek at the plot of my next novel (finally!). Also, I cry! Don’t believe me? Listen to the show!

Here is a link to the awesome 1980s Now website:

1980s Now

And here is a direct link to my episode:

My 1980s Now Interview

I’ll update this blog when the video interview posts on YouTube—so you can see my tears in 3D!

In other news: For those not following my social media accounts, Danger Peak was the second best-selling coming-of-age novel on Amazon this past Saturday, July 8th.

This is the farthest the book has ever climbed, and while it sorta stings that I didn’t make it to number one (so close!), I’d like to give a shout-out to anyone reading this who has bought my book and helped bring it to one spot away from the mountaintop.

MTP

P.S.: Next week’s blog: Another Special Announcement

P.P.S.: Danger Peak is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

The Strange Connection Between Batman and Indiana Jones

Strange bedfellows

File this blog under random thoughts. This may be my least consequential blog since I started this website over a year ago, but it appears pretty much no one else is talking about this or has noticed this on the Internet, so I figured I might as well grab my digital bugle and speak up before someone steals my thunder. Besides, as I wrote before: “My blog. My rules.”

The summer of 1989 was a remarkable time to be a movie lover. You could go into virtually any theater and see one of the following: Lethal Weapon 2; Ghostbusters II; Star Trek V; Honey, I Shrunk the Kids; and, for “Weird Al” super fans like myself, UHF! But, of course, there are two blockbusters I left off this list: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and the original Batman. (Sorry/not sorry, but I still think Michael Keaton is the best Batman and Jack Nicholson is the best Joker.) The Last Crusade is, arguably, the last great Indiana Jones movie, and, for my money, the original Batman is still my favorite Batman movie. (Suck it, Nolan-verse!) These were the two biggest movies of my favorite summer of all time. (You might have heard I wrote a book that takes place this year.)

Fast-forward almost 20 years later in 2008, and I was in a theater with my best friend seeing…something. (I can remember tiny minutiae of my elementary school years but can’t tell you what I ate for lunch yesterday.) As we were heading to the snack stand, I passed two posters side-by-side advertising the following upcoming movies: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and The Dark Knight, with a picture of Heath Ledger’s Joker prominently displayed. Immediately, my mind flashbacked to that summer in ‘89. “Huh,” I thought, “the last time there was an Indiana Jones movie was also the last time there was a Batman movie with a Joker in it. Weird.”

I didn’t think much of it until last week, a decade and a half later, when I realized that there’s yet another Indiana Jones movie coming out, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, and a sorta Batman movie, The Flash, starring Michael Keaton as my favorite Caped Crusader. This is the first time Keaton is playing the iconic hero since 1992’s Batman Returns. “Huh,” I thought, “the first time Keaton played Batman was also the last time there was a good Indiana Jones movie, The Last Crusade in 1989.”

And we’ve come full circle again. I told you this blog was inconsequential.

Now for the surprise announcement: This Saturday, July 8th, Danger Peak will be free to download on Amazon Kindle. This will be for one day only, and while I know it seems I’ve run this promotion a lot this year (four times), this may be it for the foreseeable future, at least for several months. So grab your free ‘80s ticket to ride one last time. Here is the link to the Amazon Kindle page:

Amazon

Enjoy!

MTP

P.S.: Next week’s blog: A Special Announcement

P.P.S.: Danger Peak is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

Danger Peak Is One Year Old Today

Yes, it’s another ‘80s-themed birthday cake.

While I’ve already marked the one-year anniversary of this website back in March, today marks the one-year anniversary that my book Danger Peak has been available for purchase. I actually didn’t even realize it was available for sale this day last year when it happened. I didn’t find out it was on Amazon until almost a week later because my editor went on vacation that week and forgot to tell me the book was available. (“Damn you, Wheatmark!” he says in jest.) So I’ll never know how well the book did in its crucial first week of release. I realize it wasn’t a bestseller, but it’d be nice to know what the rank was. Oh well. Maybe next book.

Anniversaries and birthdays are a time to take stock and look back, something I’m somewhat expert on doing. (Once more with feeling: I wrote a novel that takes place in the 1980s.) So for this blog, I’m going to take a hard, honest look at the book’s success (and lack thereof). First, the good stuff. In the past year, Danger Peak:

Won The 2022 Firebird Book Award in the category of Magical Realism (its first award)Won The Fall 2022 BookFest Award in the category of Young Adult Action and Adventure (probably its most prestigious award)Won The September 2022 Literary Titan Gold Book AwardWas an Honorable Mention in both The 2022 New York and Hollywood Book FestivalsWas a finalist in the 2022 American Fiction Awards in the category of InspirationalWas featured in an electronic billboard in Times SquareReceived almost unanimously positive reviews from professional critics, including some heavy hitters like Publishers Weekly and Kirkus ReviewsWas the subject of several interviews with yours truly, including the Back to the ‘80s radio show, The Books That Make You literary podcast, and a full-paged interview with Loyola Magazine (ironic, given the fact the school’s publishing arm rejected my manuscript the year before, but I’m certain the magazine didn’t know that)

That’s the critical reception of my book. The commercial reception, unfortunately, is a different story. At several points, Danger Peak was in the Top 13 books in the popular category of Coming-of-Age fiction, but those times were during my free Kindle promotions, so I didn’t receive a single penny.

Not counting free days, the highest ranking the book reached on Amazon since I’ve been monitoring it was in the Top 200. That’s impressive considering there are almost 33 million books on Amazon right now, but it’s slightly less so when you realize the category Danger Peak dominated was in something called “Friendship Fiction,” a genre I’d never heard of before. It’s possible my book will become a so-called “cult classic” in the ensuing years, but honestly, I don’t want to wait that long, not to mention I don’t know how much longer I’ve got. Not to say that I’m dying of a deadly disease, but honestly, we never know how much time we’ve got left on this planet. If you read my book, you’ll understand that this is something I know from personal experience.

So what does this mean? Overall, I’d say Danger Peak was a critical success but not a commercial one. When I was a kid, I remember liking certain T.V. shows and movies that were more popular with the critics than audiences—and vice versa. (I didn’t like T.V. shows and movies that most people liked but the critics hated.) For example, I never got into the Police Academy or Revenge of the Nerds movies (despite my nerdy appearance), but boy, judging by the mind-boggling amount of sequels those series spawned, were those “films” ever popular with the average American Joe! Did I trap myself by writing something that would only appeal to “the elites”? I don’t think so. My book isn’t academic or even remotely complex to grasp. Also, the book is mostly aimed at kids. (The subtitle is “A Kid Adventure.”) I’ve even had a few of these kids, presumably the target audience for this middle-grade/young adult book, tell me how much they love it, despite being set decades before they were even born.

I remember thinking, even right before I started writing Danger Peak, that I’d rather write a good book I’d be proud of that doesn’t do very well with the public than a terrible book that sells a million copies—y’know, something a Kardashian would write. While I still believe that today, I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t hurt that the book didn’t do better with the public. I put a lot, and I mean a LOT, of time and energy into this thing, and so far, I’ve spent about the same amount of money in marketing Danger Peak as the money I’ve received in royalties. This was not a completely surprising development. When I was researching how to write and market a novel by reading half a dozen books on the subject, one of them warned the reader (I’m paraphrasing from memory here): “If you’re going into writing to make money, just quit now. Well over 90 percent of writers don’t make money their first few years because they still have to develop a name for themselves and find their audience.” This is similar to the old adage that most businesses fail (or at least don’t turn a profit) in their first year of existence. Also, the book noted that most writers don’t make a living by their writing; they have a job on the side. For me, that side-time hustle is editing.

As far as my little magnum opus goes, I’d say my mission is half accomplished. The professional critics liked it, as well as almost every single person who’s read it, based off my conversations with people and the nonprofessional reviews from Amazon and Goodreads. Let’s put it this way: if you actually took the time to read my book, chances are, you liked it.

I remember seeing an interview last year with X-Files actor David Duchovny promoting his new novella. He told the story of when he asked his agent how his book performed the first week it was released, and the agent enthusiastically replied, “It did great! It sold five-thousand copies!” Clearly downhearted by that news, Duchovny responded, “Five-thousand? I think I bought most of those!” My point is this: If the world-famous actor David Duchovny is having trouble selling his books, what chance does no-name me have?

So maybe this isn’t just my problem; it’s a universal one currently being tackled by struggling writers the world over. I alluded to this in my Loyola Magazine interview, but fewer and fewer people are reading these days with the endless streaming options out there. (As Bill Maher put it, “People don’t read anymore; they scroll.”) When I was growing up, I had exactly seven T.V. channels (CBS, NBC, ABC, FOX, PBS, and whatever Channels 9 and 11 were) and obviously no Internet. Now there are literally hundreds of T.V. channels and streaming sites, and that’s not even including the millions (at this point, billions?) of videos on YouTube. And now we have AI that can write a novel in mere minutes, they say. (I thought my writing my second novel in three months was fast.)

The oversaturated media landscape we live in is daunting and certainly makes a typical writer want to throw out their typewriter (do people besides Tom Hanks still use those?) or computer and just surrender. I’m going to keep writing, though—if nothing else because I enjoy it. After all, like the book that warned me not to get into writing for the money also mentioned (again, this is from memory): “Writers write because they love to write. Writers write because they have to.”

Amen.

MTP

P.S.: The Kindle version of Danger Peak will be available for FREE this Saturday, June 17th for one day only. (Looks like I buried the lede again.) The Kindle version is available here:

Amazon

P.P.S.: Danger Peak is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

Five Songs That Explain What My Next Novel Is About

The definition of ‘80s cool

So it’s been about half a year since I dropped hints about my next novel, and some people may feel I’ve been incredibly—maybe even frustratingly—vague: no title, no character names, not even giving a really vivid description of the plot. So to rectify this, I decided to post this blog to give everything away… Nah, I’m gonna be frustratingly vague again—but this time in musical form!

While writing this new book, I had these five songs swirling in my subconscious. A few tracks actually appear in the book (looking at you, “Must’ve Been Love”), and one in particular is mentioned multiple times (now I’m turning 2 U, “Nothing Compares 2 U”), but there’s a good reason for that. Again, to explain why would give too much away.

Why all the secrecy? I feel these days we’re living in an overexposed media landscape. We’re constantly getting barraged with information on a minute-by-minute basis, whether it’s blaring out of your radio, T.V., computer, or (more likely) your smartphone. Even if it’s something you like, it can get a bit overwhelming, at least for me. I miss the days of analyzing album covers to discover the secret meaning behind the songs, because I had no other information to go on. (I didn’t even have MTV.) This is one of the reasons why The J. Geils Band’s Freeze Frame is still my favorite album cover of all time.

Best. Cover. Ever.

Nowadays, a five-second Google search will tell you everything you ever wanted to know about your favorite band—and maybe some things you wish you didn’t.

Another reason for the forced mystery? A purely selfish reason, I’m afraid. I don’t know how many more novels I’ve got in me. (This literally may be the last one, though I have another idea for a book.) I want to enjoy this moment while I can, so if that means stringing along my fans (both of them) with the drip-drip-drip of information, so be it. I guess I’m really a sadist at heart. I kid.

Anyway, as the immortal Casey Kasem used to say every Sunday morning on my radio back in the day: “Now on with the countdown!” Here, in no order, are five songs that explain what my new novel is about:

“The End of the Innocence” –Don Henley

Eagle-eyed readers may know that the Don Henley song “Boys of Summer” is the very first ‘80s—and pop culture—reference in Danger Peak (the beginning of Chapter One after the Prologue—look it up!), but for this next book, this is by far the most appropriate Henley song. The title says it all, I think.

“When Somebody Loved Me” –Sarah McLachlan

You might say my next book is basically the next video stretched out to novel length. I remember when I first heard this song in Toy Story 2, I felt bad for Jessie, the cowgirl toy, for being abandoned by her original owner. Now, as a father of two little girls (one of whom is not so little anymore), I connect much more deeply with this song’s themes of growing up and letting go—themes which tie into my new novel. (Are you sensing a pattern here?)

“Nothing Compares 2 U” –Sinead O’Connor

Here’s the first song that may not have an obvious connection to the themes of the first two songs, or my new book, but it’s the first song in this list that actually appears in my novel—many, many times. (Again, to explain why would give the game away.) When the ‘80s gave way to the ‘90s, my pop-culture antennae finally matured and was finely attuned to the zeitgeist, and I remember wondering what the first big radio hit of the ‘90s would be. Turns out it was a Prince-penned ballad sung by a bald, Irish lass. Who knew? This song holds a special meaning for me, not only for having identified it as a hit so early on but because of the radio’s shift in tone from poppy boy band music to mournful crooning. (Grunge was less than a year away.) Based on what I was going through at the time, it felt a little too on-the-nose.

“Must’ve Been Love” –Roxette

This song also appears in the book and is a little anachronistic. Although the song was written and recorded in the late ‘80s, it didn’t become a monster hit on the radio until its appearance on the Pretty Woman soundtrack. I actually fudged the timeline a little, because the song appears in the book during a time before the movie was released, but hey, if I point it out, it can’t be a mistake, right? Musically speaking, it’s another sad ballad that’s right in line with the feelings of the main character, who has yet to experience his first true love (or regret of that lost love, as the title reminisces). “Hey Mike, this book sounds like it’s gonna be a sad one!” Why, yes it is. But it’s also fun. I wouldn’t torture you; I promise.

“Childhood” –Michael Jackson

This last post might get me canceled. I realize, even after his death, that Michael Jackson remains a figure shrouded by extreme controversy, to say the least, but I couldn’t help myself. This song is just too fitting not to include in this list. Sure, it’s a little schmaltzy (okay, a LOT), but it’s still a beautiful video. (It was critically praised!) Michael is in full self-pitying mode here (I know what you’re thinking: “Are you talking about yourself, Mike?”), but it’s still a pretty song about missing your childhood—in Jackson’s case, almost literally since he basically didn’t have one. (For those not in the know, he spent his entire formative years performing live, including singing at strip clubs when he was only five years old.) One more odd point about the song: I can’t help but notice the chorus’ melody (“Have you seen my childhood?”) rips off Barbra Streisand’s “Papa, Can You Hear Me?” almost 20 years before Frozen did it with “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” I once wrote an article titled “Musical Déjà Vu” that listed songs that seemed to copy each other’s melody, including the guitar riff in Michael Jackson’s “Black or White” being a note-for-note duplicate of the riff in John Mellencamp’s “Hurts So Good.” Looks like I need to update my article; Jackson should get another inclusion on the list for being a repeat offender (and a smooth criminal).

MTP

P.S.: Next blog: Someone (or thing) is having a birthday! (No, it’s not me.)

P.P.S.: Danger Peak is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble