Michael Thomas Perone's Blog, page 6

Crazy Movie Coincidences

The Man

As the nightmarish Disneyland ride has taught us, it’s a small world. But just how small? I see coincidences in my life popping up all the time, where two things that ostensibly have nothing to do with each other end up sharing a common factor after all. This is most notable in my movie collection. I collect a lot—and I mean a lot—of DVDs, and when you buy as many movies as I do, you begin to detect strange patterns. Here are three such examples:

1) The Sixth Sense and Superbad

Years ago, I watched both the 1999 supernatural thriller The Sixth Sense and the 2007 raunchy teen comedy Superbad back to back on my DVDs. These are two films that could not have anything less in common—or so I thought. In the writer-director commentary for The Sixth Sense, M. Night Shyamalan mentions that he auditioned numerous children for the lead role of Cole Sear, the creepy kid who “sees dead people,” with the scene when he pushes the quarter across the table to Bruce Willis and says, “Some magic is real.” (Incidentally, I just got the reference of the character’s last name since he is a “seer” of dead people, or maybe I’m thinking too much.) Shyamalan goes on to say how dismayed he was with most of the kids’ terrible reads of his script. He said there was one actor, now famous so he wouldn’t reveal his name, who played the scene for laughs. Shyamalan made note that his particular audition was a painful process for the writer-director.

After listening to this commentary track, I popped in Superbad to listen to its own commentary track featuring one of its stars, Michael Cera. In his commentary, he mentions that he had many terrible auditions before landing plum roles in Hollywood. He then revealed he auditioned for the kid who sees dead people in The Sixth Sense, but he played his audition in a comedic fashion, clearly not understanding the tone of the film. He said when he finally watched The Sixth Sense in theaters, he was shocked that the scene where the kid pushes the quarter across the table was so intense! So Cera gave himself away in a different commentary track as the terrible kid actor Shyamalan was bemoaning during his commentary track. This has been another entry in Perone’s Believe It Or Not.

2) Southside With You and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Here is another pair of movies that have absolutely nothing in common. One is a light romantic biopic about former president Barack Obama courting his future wife Michelle on their first date during the summer of 1989 (and yes, the film’s setting is one of the reasons why I bought the DVD), and another is a goofy, screwball comedy from John Hughes about a teenager ditching high school with his best friend and girlfriend, all on his parents’ dime. One movie came out in the ‘80s; the other only takes place in the ‘80s. What could these two mismatched movies have in common? Well, a lot, as it turns out.

I bought these two movies at the same time. Being a self-described ‘80s nerd, I of course had already owned Ferris Bueller, but I wanted to upgrade to the Special Edition version with all the extra bells and whistles that the barebones original DVD didn’t include, though, bizarrely, the new version didn’t have the John Hughes commentary track, the only special feature from the original DVD. I watched both Southside With You and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off back to back, and as I watched them, I was congratulating myself for possessing such eclectic taste. After all, as I already described above, both movies are miles apart both in content and tone, and both were now in my collection. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that these movies had more in common than at first glance. First of all, they both take place in the city of Chicago. Second of all, they both take place during the course of one day, more or less in real time. And finally, and most coincidental of all, they both feature a scene in the same Chicago art museum! As I was listening to the audio commentary on Southside, writer-director Richard Tanne made the exact same comparison, saying he was actually inspired by Ferris Bueller’s Day Off when he wrote and directed the film. Of all the thousands of films that have been made, what are the chances that these two would have a connection? As I mentioned up top: Small world!

3) Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut and Oh, God! You Devil

Years ago, I rented Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut. This movie was the intended version by the original movie’s director who shot both films simultaneously, the late, great Richard Donner. (Superman and The Goonies are masterpieces, and the Lethal Weapon series wasn’t too shabby either, despite the unfortunate presence of Mel Gibson.) Richard Donner, or Dick Donner to his friends, famously had the sequel to the blockbuster Superman taken away from him and handed to the much lesser Richard, Richard Lester. So this Superman II I rented was, as the DVD’s cover proudly proclaimed, “The Version You Have Never Seen!” I copied my rental disc onto a blank DVD for future viewings and returned the original.

Around the same time, I rented Oh, God! You Devil, which I still feel is criminally underrated. Though every critic in the world will disagree with me, it’s the best in the Oh, God! series. I always found the story of a struggling musician who makes a deal with the devil to become rich and famous, only to lose his family, profoundly moving. (Maybe it’s because I used to be in a ska/punk band that couldn’t get arrested.) Also, George Burns has a ball in a dual role as both God and The Devil (named Harry O. Tophet in the movie), and the two standout rock songs featured in the film are some of the most memorable I’ve heard on a soundtrack. Plus, the haunting piano ballad the lead character composes still gives me goosebumps. That character is played by Ted Wass, who would go on to play Blossom’s Dad on T.V. Similar to Superman II, I copied my rental onto a blank DVD and returned the original. But this is not the coincidence I’m referring to. Recently, I tried watching both of these movies on my homemade DVDs, and the last half hour of each movie failed to play, I suppose because those blank DVDs were basically garbage, so I didn’t get to see the endings, despite knowing the stories’ outcomes anyway. But this still isn’t the coincidence I’m talking about. (Don’t worry; I’m getting there.)

I ended up buying both movies on DVD recently so I could complete my collection. As I was listening to the DVD commentary for Superman II, Richard Donner mentions that Gene Hackman, who played Lex Luther in the ‘70s and ‘80s Superman films, was a wonderful actor. Even when this commentary was recorded 20 years ago, he was considered a living legend. Hopefully, that doesn’t change soon, though the man is getting on in years. Donner goes on to mention how he stole the Mel Brooks yuk-fest Young Frankenstein with his hilarious role as the blindman.

After watching Superman II, I popped in my newly bought copy of Oh, God! You Devil. There’s a scene where Blossom’s Dad visits his agent, and on the wall of his office, for absolutely no reason, there’s a framed photograph of Gene Hackman. But not just any photo of Gene Hackman. He’s in his costume and wig from his role as the blindman in Young Frankenstein! I almost fell off my couch. What is that picture even doing there? And right after the ghost of Richard Donner was just talking about that exact actor in that exact role in the other movie’s commentary! Was the inclusion of this pic in the third Oh, God! movie an in-joke? The guy who owns the office is supposed to be one of the worst talent agents in the business, so it doesn’t make sense that he was representing Gene Hackman, one of the greatest American actors to ever grace the silver screen. Maybe it was the agent’s wishful thinking to land someone like him? I don’t know. All I know is that it was one of the craziest movie coincidences I’ve ever encountered.

Have you ever had an eerie experience like this? Let me know in the comments. Despite popular opinion, the comments section on my blog does exist!

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In other MTP/Déjà View news, I was interviewed once again by my local newspaper, The Islip Bulletin, in recognition of the novel’s recent award wins, particularly its First Place award in The 2024 Spring BookFest Awards in the category of Young Adult Literary and Coming of Age. You can see a photo of the article below:

My publisher wrote a brief press release about my interview that you can read at the following link:

Wheatmark Press Release About MTP Interview

While I’m on the subject, I may as well mention, since I failed to before (at least in this blog), that my publisher also wrote a press release about the recent First Place award win Déjà View received. You can read it here:

Wheatmark Press Release About Déjà View First Place Award Win

MTP

P.S.: Next week: After posting one or two blogs a week for the past 2 months, I’m taking another break!

P.P.S.: Déjà View is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

Fudge Today’s Music

Replace the word “cloud” with “music.”

Disclaimer: I realize this blog will make me sound very old, but then again, I am old. After all, I’m not fooling anyone when I recall events from the 1980s with photographic accuracy.

My wife has a habit of choosing the most inane song on the radio and then singing it all day, every day, for weeks at a time. She doesn’t sing the whole song or even half the song; she simply sings the chorus over and over again. If I thought that was annoying before, something else has come to my attention in the past year that makes it doubly so. Pop songs are getting dirty. In a way, I guess they always were (Prince’s “Darling Nikki” was released 40 years ago this year), but these days, hit songs are crammed with curses. And I’m not just talking about regular PG- or PG-13-rated swears, like “hell” or “damn.” (I even use them in these blogs, as I just demonstrated.) No, I’m talking about the mother of all curse words. The word that Ralphie from A Christmas Story described as the “F-dash-dash-dash” word. The word he used “fudge” to substitute for as a euphemism. This word keeps appearing in quaint, little ditties like, “And if they laugh, then f* ‘em all!” Or Ariana Grande’s “I’m so f-ing grateful for my ex.” (At least that song has a clean version on the radio.)

Maybe a younger version of me wouldn’t care so much, but I’m a father now with two daughters, and it pains me to have these songs ingrained in their consciousness. I’ve even noticed an increase in swearing in their conversations.

Let’s imagine a scenario in the ‘60s, ‘70s, ‘80s, or even ‘90s where a band storms a radio station and insists a popular DJ plays their new song, which was actually the plot of the Adam Sandler/Brendan Fraser movie Airheads. After much haggling, the DJ finally relents, puts their demo tape in his machine, and presses “Play.” Then the following lyrics stream out:

“F* you and your mom and your sister and your job… F* you and your friends that I’ll never see again/Everybody but your dog, you can all f* off!”

The DJ would kick them out of his studio so fast, their (air)heads would spin. (See what I did there?) Even if by some miracle he enjoyed the song, he would be bound by FCC regulations that would prevent him from playing it on air. Yet this was the exact chorus of a recent hit song. When I first heard my wife singing it, I thought she made it up as a joke. Nope. Totally real.

Years ago, I played sax and occasionally sang and rapped in a ska/punk band you’ve never heard of called All Out Riot, and while we certainly weren’t the best band in the world (or even top 50), our singer would complain about how many of our songs were better than the ones being played on the radio at the time. I agreed with her then and agree with her even more now. Our songs were tasteful, catchy, and well written. And we couldn’t get arrested. Sure, taste is subjective, especially when it comes to music, but we weren’t dropping F bombs for shock value every chance we got. And, if you think about it, if everyone is doing the same thing, the swearing becomes much less shocking. So then what’s their excuse? Their vocabularies aren’t big enough? Then you shouldn’t be in the music-writing business! Or at least hire an f-ing lyricist! (See what I did th—never mind.)

I’m sure things will only get worse from here. A few decades from now (or even sooner), there are going to be songs with nothing but curse words that will make the lyrics I cited in this blog look like nursery rhymes. Until that day, I’m going to stick with my old-fashioned CDs. After all, Billy Joel never cursed unless he really meant it.

MTP

P.S.: If my wife happened to read this blog, please know that I was knocking the music, not you or your taste in said music. (I have a feeling we’re going to have to return to Disney World posthaste to make up for this.)

P.P.S.: Loyal readers of my blog may be wondering why this dropped a day early. That’s because I have a special announcement tomorrow that I didn’t want to overshadow with this post. To see the announcement, you’ll have to follow my social media channels. There won’t be a separate blog about it.

P.P.P.S.: Next week’s blog: Crazy Movie Coincidences

P.P.P.P.S.: These are a lot of postscripts! (This might be a blog record.)

P.P.P.P.P.S.: Déjà View is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

The Last Day of Elementary School

Reunited (and it feels so good)

As I plan to move on from writing about the 1980s (at least as far as books are concerned), I’ve recently been haunted by a certain day of my past: my last day of elementary school. It was in late June of 1989, so we still had half a year left of the ‘80s, but somehow, deep down, I think I knew it was the end. The year before, as a Fifth Grader, I was jealous as I watched the Sixth Graders spend most of the day outside as a reward for completing the last grade of their first school. They played games like kickball and tag, and the nerdier ones brought their board games and toys. (These were obviously kids after my own heart.) I distinctly remember my attention being snapped from my teacher’s lesson plan—whatever it was—as the Sixth Grade boys and girls (mostly boys) banged on the windows outside my classroom, basically mocking us for their newfound freedom and our lack thereof. I thought to myself: Just wait until next year! That’ll be US banging on the classroom windows and terrorizing the lower classes!

Alas, that did not come to pass. It poured during our last full day of elementary school, so we were forced to spend our “day of freedom” inside the school gymnasium. Out of sympathy, the PTA created giant palm trees out of construction paper and taped them to the gym walls, as if that would fool us into thinking we were actually enjoying our last day in a tropical paradise, not the foul-smelling inside basketball court that served as my least favorite part of school. Hey, they tried.

But that isn’t what this blog is about. No, I wanted to write about the real last day of elementary school—the half-day where we basically just milled around in our classroom and BSed with each other as my teacher stole glimpses of pride while reading the newspaper. I made the mistake of thinking no one else in that class had already locked up their graduation party plans and proceeded to invite everyone not already invited to my best friend’s pool party later that week. They all politely declined, and I remember being surprised that people had a life outside school. That realization would be solidified as I bravely ventured junior high.

But that’s still not what this blog is about, despite being halfway over. I wanted to write about the expressions I witnessed on everyone’s faces that day. I, of course, was filled with a mixture of excitement (It’s the last day of school! Summer has officially begun!) with dread (Oh no, we’re going to junior high next year! What’s THAT gonna be like? I hate change!). I assumed that was exactly how everyone else was feeling, but as I glanced around the room, not counting a few of my friends, I realized I was completely wrong. Their faces were bursting with unbridled elation bordering on mania. (To say they were relieved would’ve been a massive understatement.) This feeling was especially evident with the girls, who, as far as I could tell, were “so over” elementary school. If they were cartoons, they would have little word balloons hovering over their heads reading, “Thank GOD this is over.”

I suppose they had a point. First of all, girls mature much faster than boys. (I remember one girl being told by our teacher to rub off her makeup one morning that year because she was “too young” for it.) But more importantly, we were at elementary school for seven long years: Kindergarten plus First through Sixth Grades. That’s a long time. Just how long? That’s longer than I attended junior high, high school, or college. That’s even longer than the time I attended junior high AND high school COMBINED (or junior high and college combined; take your pick). Maybe that’s why I’m so obsessed with my elementary school——simply because I spent so much time there. For the better part of a decade (the sweet, sweet ‘80s), it was quite literally my second home. Outside my house, I didn’t spend as much time anywhere else as I did there throughout the 1980s.

So yes, it was the end of an era: The end of elementary school. The end of the ‘80s. The end of my childhood. I just didn’t realize how significant of a fulcrum in my life it was at the time. Here I am, middle-aged and literally almost 35 years later to the day I graduated, and I’m still writing about it. Hell, I wrote two novels about my childhood in the ‘80s. As my wife would more than subtly suggest: I think it’s time to move on. If you write one novel about your childhood, it’s celebrated. If you write two novels about your childhood, it’s a cause for concern. If you write three novels about your childhood, it’s time to bring out the men in the white coats. So there will be no more.

I will still write. (My collection of short stories is coming out later this year, kids!) I have my blogs, and I’m sure I’ll also write stuff that will never see the light of day (or a computer screen). But I need to alter my perspective. As Long Island patron saint Billy Joel memorably sang in his classic tune, “Keeping the Faith”: “You know the good ol’ days weren’t always good/and tomorrow ain’t as bad as it seems.” (Incidentally, this would’ve been my senior year high-school yearbook quote if we were allowed to include one.) The future can be an exciting place. After all, that’s what those 12-year-old girls already knew that late June afternoon in 1989.

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In other Déjà View news, my Kindle promotion went so well that I’m doing it again, which, if you think about it, is appropriate for a book named Déjà View. For this Saturday only, you can download Déjà View on Amazon Kindle for FREE! (Looks like I buried the lede in this blog.) Here is the link:

Amazon

As always, happy reading!

MTP

P.S.: Next week’s blog: Fudge Today’s Music

P.P.S.: Déjà View is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

Déjà View Won First Place at The Spring 2024 BookFest Awards!

I’m happy to announce that Déjà View recently won its second award, The Spring 2024 BookFest Award in the category of Young Adult Literary and Coming of Age! On top of this, it won First Place! This is my first First Place literary award. Danger Peak won Second Place for its category, Young Adult Action and Adventure, at The Fall 2022 BookFest. And as I wrote when Déjà View won The 2024 Firebird Book Award in the same category as my recent award, Coming of Age is a much broader genre and more difficult to win. According to The BookFest: “The BookFest honors authors who create outstanding works of fiction and nonfiction. The BookFest’s mission is rooted in the belief that literature has transformative power.”

I actually didn’t think I won at all for this year’s contest. When Danger Peak won its BookFest Award 2 years ago, I was notified I won via email on the Friday before the BookFest event, which always takes place on a weekend. I knew the Spring BookFest was this past weekend, and while both Friday and Saturday came, I didn’t receive any emails. Then Sunday morning and afternoon came, and I still didn’t receive any messages. I even searched the BookFest site and couldn’t find my book, but I guess I didn’t look hard enough. I have to admit, I was disheartened all weekend. I knew Coming of Age was a harder category to win, but I thought Déjà View would’ve earned Third Place or at least Honorable Mention. Finally Sunday night arrived, and I was given word of the win. I also learned that not only did I win, but I came in First Place! Talk about leaving a guy in suspense! I’ve already updated the book’s page on this site with the golden award seal.

You can see the award win on The BookFest’s website below:

Déjà View on The BookFest Website

You can also see the book’s cover in a montage video of all the winners on the BookFest video below. (Déjà View appears at 4:06.)

I’d like to personally thank Desireé Duffy, Founder of The BookFest, and the judges for their fine taste in literature!

MTP

P.S.: Happy Solar Eclipse Day! (I heard the next one’s 20 years from now, so enjoy it while you can!)

P.P.S.: Next blog: The Last Day of Elementary School

P.P.P.S.: Déjà View is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

A Weekend in the 1980s vs. a Weekend in the 1990s

The beginning of the end?

Trigger Warning: I realize this blog may come off as self-pitying, but then again, that emotion fuels at least half of my blogs on this site, not to mention my entire poetry book—still on sale here, kids! Also, I thought giving a peek into my past might help my readers gain a deeper understanding of who I am and where I’m coming from, if anyone cares. (There’s that self-pity again!) Here I go…

Scrolling through the various ‘80s-obsessed Instagram accounts I follow, I noticed something they all—or mostly—have in common: They’re all run by people who miss their childhoods terribly. This isn’t surprising, since I feel the same way (it’s the reason why I’m following them in the first place), but at the same time, it saddens me to live in the past. As my family might ask, “You mean to tell me you didn’t have any good times after the ‘80s?” The answer is, “Of course not,” but it still feels, for whatever reason, that things were better back then. If not better, then I think we can all agree they were simpler. Just look at technology alone; a blog, the very thing I’m writing right now, didn’t even exist back in the day, unless you count Neil Patrick Harris’ weekly journal entries on his computer on Doogie Howser, M.D. (And I don’t.)

You can also chalk it up to the change in hormones. I’ve mentioned this before both in blogs and podcast interviews, but once I went through puberty and my hormones went crazy, I probably haven’t been the same person since. There’s a reason why Dr. Pann spells this out to Bobby in Déjà View. Maybe this is a good thing (we can’t stay kids forever), but looking back at photos of myself from the ’80s (like the one at the top of my bio page), my smile is bright and wide, and my eyes are practically bursting with joy. I look like I’m in a damn Mentos commercial. I ask myself, “When’s the last time you felt that way, even during your happiest times, in the past several decades?” Hell, the reason why I’m maniacally happy in my young bio pic is just because I scored a VHS copy of Ghostbusters on my birthday. (Okay, that is a pretty rad reason to be happy.)

Will Padilla, the host of the awesome 1980s Now podcast, asked me towards the end of our interview if I always felt that, “The ‘80s were good, and the ‘90s sucked.” I answered, only partly in jest, “I’ve probably felt that way since January 1990.”

One need only analyze the difference between my weekend plans in the 1980s versus how I spent my free time in the 1990s. (*Cue Homer Simpson meme.*) Consider the following:

A Typical Weekend in the 1980s

Friday:

After watching my afterschool cartoons, including Heathcliff, He-Man, and/or G.I. Joe, I might do my homework so I could enjoy the rest of the weekend, and since I usually didn’t have that much homework in elementary school, it was actually possible to get it done in a quick afternoon. Then, after eating dinner and playing with my toys, I would watch TGIF with my sister. (Perfect Strangers was our favorite.) For those who don’t know what TGIF is or what it stands for, man, you had to be there.

Saturday:

I would race downstairs to eat sugary cereal and watch my favorite Saturday morning cartoons, including Alvin and the Chipmunks, Garfield and Friends, The Real Ghostbusters, and especially Muppet Babies, which, to me, is the crème de la crème of Saturday morning cartoons. (Sorry, Snorks.) In fact, Jim Henson’s adorable tots were so good, they were given a full hour, a rarity for one show on the all-important programming block of Saturday morning. There’s a reason why I brought to school and still own a Muppet Babies lunchbox. (You can see a video of it on my Instagram account.)

After cartoons, I would call one or both of my best friends and make plans. If they were available, we would get together to ride our bikes around town (cue montage music of when I was inspired to write Danger Peak); swim in our friend’s pool (if it was the summer); and play with toys, boardgames, basketball, and—especially—Nintendo. If I was lucky, we might go to the movies on my parents’ dime and/or have a sleepover that night at one of our houses. If my best friends weren’t available, I would call the “B” list, those few friends I liked hanging with but wasn’t as close with as the other two. One of them would usually be available.

If I wasn’t having a sleepover, that night I would go to church and then McDonald’s for dinner. In the late ‘80s, I switched to Taco Bell. It quickly became my favorite fast-food restaurant, and I’ve been going there every week since.

Sunday:

If it was the late ‘80s, I would deliver the Sunday newspaper (Long Island’s Newsday) early in the morning (not gonna lie; I don’t miss this part one bit) and then get treated to a McDonald’s breakfast from my Mom for a job well done. I would usually have TWO sausage, egg, and cheese biscuits with TWO hashbrowns covered in grape jelly. My heart skipped a beat just typing that. Is it any wonder I was overweight?

Afterwards, I would watch my favorite show of all time, Steampipe Alley. Those not in the tristate area (i.e., New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut) probably have no idea what this show is, but it was a kids’ variety show hosted by Mario Cantone waaaay before his stint on Sex and the City. Cantone would have me howling with laughter, especially when he had to admit that his “monologue bombed.” The show also featured Bugs Bunny cartoons, funny skits (his Stephen King impression was hilarious), and an obstacle course challenge at the end that directly ripped off Double Dare, except it wasn’t as messy, and the kids always won, even when it was obvious that they ran out of time to complete the game.

After this show, or just before it, I would read the entire Kidsday—the kid section of Newsday—and curse the editors for never featuring my submitted artwork. (I used to want to be a cartoonist; maybe the universe was trying to tell me something since I never won any art awards.) I would then read every single movie capsule review in the Newsday T.V. guide for that week. I still remember being angry they only gave Ghostbusters three out of four stars. “It deserved at least three and a half!” I would moan to myself.

After all this, I would either play with my sister in the backyard or call up another friend who I didn’t play with the day before. (Variety is the spice of life.) Repeat everything from Saturday with regards to playing (except sleepovers, since we had school the next day), and then that night, I would watch The Wonderful World of Disney with my sister. (Long live, Flight of the Navigator!) In the very late ‘80s (like December 1989), that changed to America’s Funniest Home Videos and then The Simpsons. I’ve been literally watching The Simpsons every week since, and while the show is far from its glorious prime, the first eight seasons are still my favorite television episodes of all time.

Then I had to go to school on Monday, but I didn’t mind so much, because I loved my elementary school (more on that in next week’s blog). Now here comes junior high/high school…

A Typical Weekend in the 1990s

Friday:

I would try to squeeze in a little homework after school, but since I had so much of it over the weekend, especially during high school, I usually couldn’t finish it, so I’d have to save it for Sunday afternoon. I would then watch TGIF by myself because my sister had outgrown it and started attending alternative/punk shows with her friends. At first, I was ecstatic that I had the T.V. to myself, but it quickly—and unsurprisingly—became lonely. There were some nights I was so bored, I would force myself to watch an episode of Family Matters for the third time after I knew all the punchlines when I didn’t even like it the first time when the jokes were fresh, because there was literally nothing else on. (I only had seven T.V. channels and no Internet.)

Saturday:

I stopped eating sugary cereal, but I would still watch a few Saturday morning cartoons. Of course, by this time, they had cancelled all my favorites, including The Real Ghostbusters and Muppet Babies. (Sacrilege!) I would then play Super Nintendo by myself—a lot—and my Mom would tell me to go hang out with my friends, perhaps not realizing that most of them had moved on to other cliques. One time, I remember my Mom forced me out of the house for playing too much Nintendo—never realizing that I stashed a Game Boy in my pocket and played it hiding behind our chimney in the backyard.

Then that night I would go to church and Taco Bell again, but I would race home to catch Siskel & Ebert on Channel 55, which we only received on the small T.V. in my Mom’s bedroom. The reception was so bad, I had to sometimes squint to make out the picture. Other teens were watching scrambled porn on cable; I was trying to watch a bald guy and a fat guy argue about the movie Cop and a Half. This show fueled my love for cinema, which continues to this day. (Then again, who doesn’t love movies?)

After Siskel & Ebert, I would draw cartoons or write stories with the T.V. on in the background in my bedroom. Then I would watch Comic Strip Live, a comedian showcase on Fox that I loved because I didn’t have access to any other comedians at the time. (The late shows were too, well, late for me during the week because I had school, and I didn’t have cable.) After they inevitably canceled the show, I switched to Saturday Night Live during the classic years featuring Adam Sandler, Kevin Nealon, Norm MacDonald, Chris Rock, Chris Farley, and David Spade. Then I’d simply pass out. (Wild times at the Perone residence!)

Sunday:

Unsurprisingly, they canceled Steampipe Alley, my favorite show, though, truth be told, even I had to admit that I had outgrown it. I still read Kidsday because, well, I guess I wanted to still be a kid (not much has changed), but my heart sank even further once I realized that not only was I too old to enter their art contests, but the entries from Long Island’s children were better than anything I could draw even in my teens. I guess at this point I decided to focus more on writing than drawing. I would note to myself that it was so much easier for me to come up with a story and flesh it out than to draw a comic, as I did both the night before.

After the boob tube, I might occasionally get lucky and see an old friend, but it felt more like a pity date than an actual hang. (It was ironic that in the ‘90s, I had become someone else’s “B” list.) It was more like: “Hey, remember Mike? I wonder what he’s up to these days? Wow, he’s still the same! At least he lost a lot of weight.” I guess I should mention I lost most of my weight in high school when I got taller. (I have since gained almost all of it back.)

Then I would finish my aforementioned homework and study my brains out for that week’s tests, thinking they were so important that if I failed one of them, my life as I knew it would be over forever, and I would never accomplish anything nor amount to much as an adult. I’m happy to report that this was only partly true. (I kid!)

Finally, that night I would watch (you guessed it) The Simpsons and buckle up for another “fun-filled” week in high school. For more on how I felt about this school, stay tuned for my next book!

So those are the differences, and when you compare them next to each other like this in stark black and white, you get a clearer picture of why I feel the way I do about the ‘80s and pretty much every decade since. Believe it or not, I don’t want to feel like this forever. As difficult as it is to admit, I understand that it’s not healthy to live in the past. But my therapist and I are working through it, and maybe it’s a good thing my next book doesn’t take place in the ‘80s, though part of it does take place in the ‘90s. I guess I can’t escape looking backward forever.

###

In other MTP news, I’m now a proud member of the Long Island Authors group. You can peruse my profile here:

MTP on Long Island Authors

In other Déjà View news, my Kindle promotion last Saturday was quite successful. The book was #32 in the category of Coming of Age on Amazon’s Kindle store and #58 in the category of Coming of Age Fantasy eBooks.

Proof!

Thanks to everyone who downloaded a copy, and happy reading!

MTP

P.S.: Next week’s blog: The Last Day of Elementary School

P.P.S.: Déjà View is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

Déjà View Will Be Free to Download This Saturday!

“My prices are insaaaaaane!!!”

Yes, the headline isn’t a typo. Déjà View will be free on Kindle this Saturday! “But Mike,” you say, “I thought it was already free on Kindle.” It’s only free on Kindle Unlimited, which is a monthly service you have to subscribe to in order to read it for free. This Saturday (that’s two days from now), for 24 hours only, the book will be free to download and keep forever for anyone who owns a Kindle. Thank the good folks at Amazon for this promotion, but, as I wrote before, it won’t last long. Get Déjà View before it’s gone! I’m Crazy Mikey, and my deals are…you know the rest. Here is the link for the book on Kindle:

Déjà View on Kindle

Also, feel free to leave a review on the book’s Amazon or Goodreads page. I’m always interested in reading what people think of my books…unless the review is negative. Just kidding! (Kinda!) Here is Déjà View’s Goodreads page:

Déjà View on Goodreads

As always, happy reading!

In other Déjà View news, BookLife, the indie book department of Publishers Weekly, created a nifty promotional video for Déjà View last week. You can view it below or on the Déjà View page.

MTP

P.S.: Next week’s blog: A Weekend in the 1980s vs. a Weekend in the 1990s (It’s a long one!)

P.P.S.: Déjà View is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

Amazon Barnes & Noble

The First Draft of My Third Book Is Done…And It’s Pretty Wild!

Bad boy #3

After around three months of writing, I’ve finished my third book. De La Soul was right: 3 really is a magic number. It’s also my favorite number. Good things come in threes: The Past, The Present, and The Future; The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit; and The Original Star Wars Trilogy. This is one of the reasons why this may be my final book. “But Mike,” you say, “you said that about your last book.” That is somewhat true. I said my last book would probably be my final novel, and that is still the case. Yes, that means my new book isn’t a novel, though it still is fiction.

Enough with being vague: My next book will be a collection of my favorite short stories I’ve written over the years, specifically six tales from a wild, warped imagination. I was actually nervous putting together these stories because I thought the reader might be ping-ponging back and forth from one theme to the next (if you read my last book, Déjà View, you’ll know that theme is a very big deal for me), but I’m happy to report that, by sheer luck or coincidence, the half dozen stories I chose have pretty much the same theme. They’re all about sane people trying to live in an insane world, which is something I can unfortunately relate to “all too well,” as Taylor Swift might sing.

One of the reasons why these stories share that theme is because I wrote most of them either during high school or immediately afterwards, while I was still processing that experience. But don’t worry; I didn’t simply transcribe my stories word for word. (If I did, it would only take me about a month to write this book.) Similar to how my first two novels were based on short stories, I “pumped up” the narratives like Hans and Franz, expanding them and adjusting the language to find the right word. One annoying trait I had as a young writer was not being able to decide on the correct word, especially if it was a verb, so I just listed them all, e.g., “He jumped, leaped, and hopped out of bed.” It’s like, “Pick ONE, dude!”

One neat feature of this new book is that even if you don’t like a story, you can just skip to the next one—or, if you’re brave enough, simply suffer through it; each story is only around 40 pages. Because of the format alone, this is probably my most entertaining book. And there is a ton more action in a few of these stories, even more than in Danger Peak. We’re talking shootouts, car chases, fistfights, fires—all that fun stuff.

I mention that this may be my last book because of the magical number 3, but that’s not the only reason. There are actually three more reasons. (There’s that number again.) Here they are, in no order:

There are only so many good ideas I have. This was my kitchen sink book where I threw all my best ideas out there to see what stuck. I would never want to write another book just so I could say I wrote another book. I want to make sure it’s one of quality and something I think most people would enjoy. As my best friend said after he read Danger Peak: “It’s one thing to write a book. That’s something most people can’t do and is an accomplishment in and of itself. But to write a book that’s actually worth reading is something else entirely. I think you’ve done the latter here.” (Okay, he may not have worded it exactly this way, but you get the gist.)This is probably my most controversial book. There’s murder, suicide, violence, the works—with many of these incidents involving young people. (I warned you I wrote many of the stories during high school.) While there are young protagonists, I probably wouldn’t categorize this book as young adult, and unlike my last two books, there are no stories that take place in the 1980s, though there’s one story that occurs during the year 1995, the year I graduated high school (and now you know how old I am). In other words, this may mark the death of my writing career. Some of the writing is shocking—upsetting, even. It’s not for everyone. I’m already bracing for the backlash. But I believe in the book—obviously, or I wouldn’t have bothered to write or publish it.Without divulging too many gory details, my writing career, such as it is, has actually hurt my personal life. There have been times in the past few years where I’ve agonized over whether it’s worth it to keep writing. I’ve had to shift priorities around in my life, which has been uncomfortable for those I love, to say the least. Again, I’m not going to explain exactly how my writing has affected my personal life. That’s for my family and therapist to sort out!

The last thing I’ll mention about my latest (and last?) book is that it matches an overall theme of all three of my books. They fit neatly into what I was going through for each school I attended, while advancing in mature subject matter. I’ll explain:

Even though Danger Peak takes place in early junior high, it’s actually more a reflection of my life in elementary school: all the fun and games I had with my two best friends riding our bikes around town, with the unfortunate tragic center of my brother’s death smack dab in the middle of the ‘80s. If it were a movie, I would label this book as “PG.”

Déjà View takes place in late elementary school and early junior high, but it’s mostly about how I felt about life in junior high and how much I missed my childhood in elementary school. I would classify this book as “PG-13.”

And, as I wrote before, my newest book is preoccupied with the feelings I was dealing with during high school, even if it’s composed of six different stories. A few of those stories even take place during high school. And, as I mentioned before, the book gets pretty violent. I would rate it a soft “R,” though I tried to limit the nasty language.

Does this mean my next book, if there is one, will take place in or involve college in some way? Well, as it turns out, I do have another story in mind with a college-type setting, but the jury is still very much out on that one. Let’s see how the new one does first.

You’ll notice that I haven’t mentioned a title yet. Well, it’s still early, and while I have settled on a name, I’d like to leave at least a little mystery before the book is ultimately released, which should be later this year. Like I said, this may be my literary swan song. I want to enjoy it as long as I can.

MTP

P.S.: Next week’s blog: Another Surprise!

P.P.S.: Déjà View is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

How to Speak Gen Z

They have fun.

As a writer of young adult novels set in the 1980s (though, spoiler alert, that may change soon), I follow a host of ‘80s-obsessed Instagram accounts devoted to this all-important decade. Not too long ago, I came across an old video on one of these accounts showing a reporter in the ‘80s interviewing teenagers and people in their early 20s about “the new lingo.” Y’know, the so-called “Valley Girl talk” that was all the rage back in the day. Phrases like “For sure,” “Totally tubular,” “Grody to the max,” and “Gag me with a spoon” and terms like “bogus” and “gnarly” that Bill and Ted made household sayings. (Heck, their second movie was called Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey.) I recall meeting a teenaged girl slightly older than me in the late ‘80s who, after I said something she apparently didn’t like, proceeded to utter the following: “Gross me out the door!” To this day, I have no idea what she actually meant.

This got me to thinking about how every generation has their own unique slang that old folks like me can’t wrap our heads around. My two daughters happen to belong to Gen Z and seem to have their own language. Overhearing their conversations in my house, I’ve come up with this handy glossary of ten of their favorite off-kilter phrases. Study it well, and you too can speak like a Gen Z-er!

same: to agree.

Example:

Girl 1: “Man, I hate Mondays.”

Girl 2: “Same!”

Let’s go!: to be excited about something (not to be confused with wanting to partake in an actual trip).

Example:

Girl 1: “I heard it might snow tomorrow, and they’ll close school.”

Girl 2: “Let’s go!”

be like: explaining how someone or something always does the same thing, usually preceded by a quotation.

Example: “Our teacher be like, ‘More homework!’”

suspicious: anything derogatory.

Examples:

“That teacher is suspicious.”

“The hamburger surprise in the cafeteria today was suspicious.”

“That test was suspicious.”

pick-me: someone who calls attention to oneself, i.e., pretentious or ostentatious.

Examples:

“At the talent show, that girl was a pick-me.”

“Did you see what she was wearing today? She’s such a pick-me!”

allergic: not liking something. Note: This doesn’t necessarily involve food.

Examples:

“I’m allergic to today’s homework.”

“I’m allergic to broccoli.”

“I’m allergic to gym.”

spicy: any food the person doesn’t like. Note: Similar to the last definition, it doesn’t necessarily involve a food that’s actually spicy.

Example: “I don’t like this banana. It’s too spicy.”

cringe: anything odd or creepy that inspires a negative reaction.

Examples:

“That horror game is cringe.”

“I don’t like that weird commercial. It’s cringe.”

Yes, sir!: absolutely (said with passion). Note: This doesn’t simply mean “yes.” Also, despite the use of the word “sir,” this phrase is completely unrelated to politeness or to gender.

Example:

Mom: “Are you ready to go on vacation tomorrow?”

Daughter: “Yes, sir!”

POV: uhhh…I actually don’t know what this means, but, contrary to popular belief, this abbreviation doesn’t stand for “Point Of View.” I can give numerous examples though.

Examples:

“POV, Freddy just killed that guy.” (referring to the popular game/meme/movie/whatever Five Nights at Freddy’s)

“POV, she didn’t do her homework.”

“POV, he decides to ignore her.”

So, besides that last definition, you can now use these popular terms to talk like a typical Gen Z-er. And now you know! And knowing is half the battle. Wait, that’s an ‘80s reference. I warned you I’m now one of the old folks.

MTP

P.S.: Next blog: A Surprise!

P.P.S.: Déjà View is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

Happy Anniversary to Me! (Again!)

Yes, it’s another ’80s-inspired cake.

Well, here I go again. Starting tomorrow, it’s the second anniversary of this here website, www.michaelthomasperone.com (formerly www.dangerpeak.com). In keeping with my tradition I began last year, I’m posting my five favorite blogs of the past year, for those who’ve missed them. Here they are, in no order:

Loyola Magazine Interviewed Me About Danger Peak (and a little scandalous backstory) “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown” vs. “Snoopy the Musical” The Books That Make You Podcast Interviewed Me About Danger Peak and Writing in General The Five Songs That Explain What My Next Novel Is About The 1980s Now Podcast Interviewed Me About Danger Peak, My Next Book, and the ‘80s of It All

And now, also continuing the tradition of last year, here’s an Honorable Mention blog that I liked but wasn’t quite as good as the others. I mostly included this one in the list because it was a PAIN to put together, and I wanted to at least post it one more time:

The First (and Last) Déjà View Photo Essay

In other news, Déjà View is now available for Kindle Unlimited, which means (I think) that if you have this service, you can read the book for free. Here is the link:

Déjà View for Kindle

If you don’t have Kindle Unlimited, fear not! There’ll be more news soon that you’ll enjoy, but I don’t want to give everything away in this post.

Until next year’s blog wrap-up! (Hopefully, I’ll still be around!)

MTP

P.S.: Next week’s blog: How to Speak Gen Z

P.P.S.: Déjà View is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble

“Well, It’s Groundhog Day…Again”

Get it? There are two Groundhog Day videos, because the movie is about repeating…never mind.

I decided to repost this piece on my favorite movie, Groundhog Day, that I originally posted last year (and, before that, placed in my blog book Lists, Life, and Other Unimportant Details) because, well, it’s Groundhog Day, and the movie is all about time repeating itself, so I figured it was appropriate. Here we go! (again)

For over two decades now, Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray, has remained my all-time favorite movie. Yes, it’s hilarious. Yes, it’s clever. Yes, it’s romantic. But there’s so much more that most people don’t see. On the surface, it appears to be just another Twilight Zone episode with a moral tagged at the end: a curmudgeon is trapped in the same day over and over again and is forced to overcome personal adversity to win the heart of his true love. But screenwriter Danny Rubin beautifully wove spiritual layers throughout this seemingly simple fable. Let’s peel back the layers:

Being obsessive-compulsive, I’m always thinking about the same things. And who hasn’t dwelled on what could have been if given a second chance, such as the disastrous date sardonic weatherman Phil suffers during the film’s turning point? The movie fantasizes about this marvelous idea: seeing all the second and third and 16th chances he has and how making simple changes to his behavior greatly impacts the world around him. Nothing in the Groundhog Day in Groundhog Day changes. Nothing. The snowstorm still comes, the television reporters are still stuck, the kid still falls out of the tree, the old women get that flat in the car, and Larry still says, “We better get moving if we want to stay ahead of the weather.” The only thing that changes in the entire day is Phil Connors himself. By adjusting what he says and does, he alters the world around him, for better or worse. It’s a powerful concept that is greatly overlooked and simply an inspiring message to learn.

More than just a metaphor for life, Groundhog Day teaches us that we all have the power to change—and even create—our environment. In the beginning of the movie, Phil considers Punxsutawney a hellhole, and by the end, it has become his heaven. God literally steps in to interfere with Phil’s self-defeating plans. He stops his life from continuing until Phil gets the day right. He tries everything: reckless abandonment, money, lust, and even suicide at one point to get through the day and onto the next, but none of it works. He isn’t allowed to continue his life until he becomes a better person—a lesson we can all benefit from. The only thing that saves Phil is being a man, facing his fears, and changing himself, and thus his world, for the better. In truth, the only thing that saves him is himself.

This movie perfectly characterizes the stages of overcoming misfortune. Being depressed a few times myself, I can easily relate to this. At one point, he tells Rita, “I’ll give you a weather prediction: It’s going to be cold, it’s going to be gray, and it’s going to last you the rest of your life.” He, of course, isn’t really talking about the weather but giving an ideal description of depression.

Phil goes through the classic motions after a tragedy in the same order most people experience (and many psychologists report): denial, fear, anger, bargaining, despair—until he ultimately reaches acceptance. Only then is he able to solve his problem, and consequently fix his life, by coming to terms with himself and, as crazy as it was, his world. Similar to a recovering alcoholic, he can only turn his life around for the better once he accepts the fact that he has a problem in the first place. Only then can he seek help. In Groundhog Day, Phil seeks the help inside himself.

Most Murray vehicles, whether it’s Meatballs, Stripes, or one of my favorites, Ghostbusters, feature sarcasm as the choice of humor. It makes sense, because he’s a natural at it. But in Groundhog Day, Bill’s patented sarcasm doesn’t come to his rescue this time. In the beginning of the film, Phil is constantly cracking wiseass comments at the world; in other words, life is the butt of his jokes. But as the film progresses, we see his world turned upside down. Life makes him the butt of the joke. Phil (and Bill?) eventually learns that his sarcastic approach won’t help him out of his predicament. We see sarcasm slowly put to death towards the film’s climax.

Then of course, there’s the love story. Besides being genuinely moving and featuring great chemistry between Murray and Andie MacDowell, another reason why I love it so much is because of its realism. If you take away the time-warp element, what happens between these two would happen in real life. Based on my experience with women and stories from my friends, the more you try to impress a girl by spending lots of money and going out of your way for her, the less she seems interested. It comes off as needy and trying too hard, and nothing is less attractive than someone who can’t live without someone else.

And in the beginning, we see that happen with Phil. At first, their relationship has some natural spark, but eventually, it becomes strained as Phil tries to force the “right” situations into their dates: if he only says the right thing (the same things he was saying before that won her over), if he only lands next to her in the snow in exactly the right spot, if he only does the perfect thing or memorizes her likes and dislikes, etc. He even keeps a list: “No white chocolate, no fudge.” But of course, he’s doomed for failure, because bending over backwards to make someone interested in you never works. You can’t force love. It has to happen for real.

So what does Phil do? He does what everyone should. Instead of concentrating on Rita and their potential relationship, he works on himself. He learns to play piano (Rita did say she wanted a guy who could play an instrument), does favors around town (helping a group of elderly friends by jacking up their car when it gets a flat, catching the boy in the tree before he hits the ground, etc.), and, probably most moving of all, takes care of the old man, even though he knows he ultimately can’t save his life. No matter what he does—no matter how much money or food he gives him—the old man will die. And there is a frustration in that. Phil isn’t God, after all (not even “a god,” as he once attests). But there is also a powerful freedom in letting go, and Phil does so.

Rita notices all these changes in Phil and is naturally attracted to him—even asking him out—simply because of who he is, or who he became, not because he was going crazy trying to get her to like him. So is it any surprise when she eventually bids on a date with Phil at the bachelor auction for 339 dollars and 88 cents—the entire contents of her pocketbook—on a man who only a day before, she was ready to strangle?

Also notice that on the last night they spend together in the movie, when Murray declares his love and says, “I love you,” the movie doesn’t cheat, and she doesn’t respond with, “I love you, too,” because to her, it has still only been one day. Even though he has had literally years of experience getting to know her by repeating the same day over and over again, she’s only known him for the same 24 hours. (There’s a reason why the filmmakers chose the closing song, as Nat “King” Cole sings, “It’s almost like being in love.”) So instead, she says, “I think I’m happy, too.” In other words, even though it was soon, it still felt right to her, and he was finally able to make her happy—the crux of a good foundation to any relationship. At last, she saw potential in Phil as her lover.

“Why do you love this movie so much?” people sometimes ask me. “Because life is Groundhog Day,” I respond. When I used to commute into New York City, after stepping out of Penn Station, I knew when I passed a certain deli sign before Madison Avenue, the light would change green. I knew when I crossed Madison, I’d probably pass the same happy couple kissing each other goodbye. And I knew I’d still see the same strangers pass on their way to work. We knew our faces but not our names. “It’s Groundhog Day,” I’d tell myself.

Think about it. Haven’t you experienced that odd sense of déjà vu by repeating the same tired routine every day? You get up at the same time each morning, take a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, sit in traffic, make the same business calls, talk to the same people, etc. This movie teaches us that we all have the potential to live a meaningless Groundhog Day existence. But, more importantly, we also have the power to change it.

###

Back to present-day Mike: If you enjoyed this piece, there are tons of others in my blog book Lists, Life, and Other Unimportant Details. You can get it for free by signing up for blog updates at the link below:

Blog/Free Book

In other MTP news, the Goodreads giveaway for Déjà View recently ended and was fairly successful. Overall, over 2,400 people entered, but only a lucky 10 won a free, signed copy of the book with a personalized message from yours truly. I wrote in a previous blog that this may be the only Goodreads giveaway I do for this book, but I reserve the right to change my mind.

As for me, I’ve been blogging now once or twice a week for the past four or five months, so I’m taking a long rest (while working on my next book).

MTP

P.S.: Next week: A well-deserved break!

P.P.S.: The groundhog actually didn’t see his shadow today, which hardly ever happens and means an early spring.

P.P.P.S.: Déjà View is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:

AmazonBarnes & Noble