Letti Lustcraft's Blog, page 2
May 3, 2023
January 25, 2023
Sitting Under the Fig Tree
i wonder who i would be todayif i hadn’t spent years trying so hardto be someone else.
August 29, 2022
June 3, 2022
BDSM Philosophies
First chapter of my book, written for an audience that may be completely new to BDSM.
May 1, 2022
April 5, 2022
Porn is the Substitute Teacher who Puts on a Movie and Takes a Nap
You might learn something. It might even be correct. If you ask a question, Porn might wake up and answer. But more likely you’ll whisper to a friend and BreastMilker4000 will ask if you’re DTF in the comments.
I was reading spanking erotica recently and in the same story I came across:
Asshole behavior being described as brattingNon-consenting witnessesForced to take spanking from a strangerThat’s all pretty common in spanking porn. As long a it’s fantasy, I don’t mind suspending my disbelief and letting myself get lost in that fantasy every now and then. But it’s generally a turn-off for me. Whenever I’m reading erotica that violates boundaries I practice, I have to write a prequel in my head to justify the behavior.
So, in this world, everyone consents to spanking as a form of discipline and it’s extremely common to witness discipline or be asked to assist in its delivery.
Once I’ve created that little consent prequel, I can let myself sink into the story without feeling icky.
But what if I didn’t have baseline education on BDSM or a clear understanding of my own limits and boundaries? And what if I consume this media repeatedly when I’m young? (young by experience, not necessarily age)
Well, for me, I ended up in some pretty dangerous and abusive situations that took me years to heal from before I could even think about entering into another power exchange dynamic.
I hate that it’s so common to end up in those situations, often due to the censorship in real life around fetish and even just sex. We don’t know how to or who to ask questions. We’re left to fend for ourselves and unless we get lucky and find the right people, we will often have to learn the hard way from the wrong people.
While I do still enjoy getting lost in fantasy erotica and porn, I now find myself gravitating towards the couples with amateur porn experience, but a lot of experience with their partner and their dynamic. The stories that you can sense are real, because they are. The videos I favorite on SpankingTube are not great quality; they often don’t have multiple angles or good sound, but the couple is real. The punishment is real. The trust is real.
I wish I had more of that realness as a young s-type. It’s why I write from my dynamic, why I seek out real dynamics.
I learned from porn and erotic fiction. And I had to spend a long time unlearning it, educating myself on all of the work it takes to safely reach a certain point in a dynamic. I’m finally at the point I wanted to be at with @SirChefDaddy. But it took us years of building a vanilla foundation and nurturing our relationship before investing in our D/s dynamic.
Sometimes I wonder, if I had known what I know now, would it have taken as long to reach this point? I think it will be easier for folks now than it was for me — I grew up in the one desktop computer per household and razor flip phone era. It was hard to find resources, let alone good ones. I think that problem still exists today, just in a different way. Now, we are oversaturated with resources and it’s still hard to find reputable sources.
Joining FetLife, for example. You could fall into a sketchy activity feed depending on who you follow. And what if you don’t know any better?
I don’t have a solution. But in my opinion, I don’t think the solution is banning porn or expecting people to stop consuming it.
I saw a bumper sticker today that said ‘Stop Watching Porn. Stop Normalizing Abuse.’
It may be something you as an individual practice and I respect that, but it just seems unrealistic for a population. If I had to think of a place to start, it would be active sex education. Actively providing the right resources instead of passively hoping folks stumble across them. Better regulation and transparency instead of censorship and banning.
I’m just thinking out loud, but if anyone wants to expand on the topic or add their thoughts I’m happy to do so in the comments.
[image error]April 3, 2022
“The Dictionary Thing” — An Antiquated Fetish Marker?
As a young child, I would wait until I was alone so that I could sneak the dictionary off the shelf and slip away into a private space to look up words that made my heart race. Some of those words were: spanking, punishment, discipline, and all of the relevant synonyms.
I didn’t quite understand why, but I understood that it wasn’t ‘normal’ and I felt a lot of panic around it. The same type of panic I felt during the episode of I Love Lucy when Ricky took Lucy over his knee, or the spanking clock in Pinocchio. Spanking excited me in a way I didn’t understand until I was older. And I spent years feeling guilty and ashamed of that excitement.
It wasn’t until I joined FetLife that I learned ‘the dictionary thing’ is common among fetishists. The first time I saw it mentioned on someone else’s profile, I felt instant relief that I wasn’t alone in this. The behavior is apparently not exclusive to spanking fetishists, either. For example, those with a balloon popping fetish may have looked up words such as: popping, bursting.
The dictionary thing is probably an artifact of times when the internet wasn’t as easily accessible. Nowadays, google is at our fingertips and hopefully young fetishists won’t have to wait two whole decades to learn they’re not the strangest human on the planet, and that there’s a whole bunch of folks out there that can relate to them.
So, if you did the dictionary thing, you’re not alone.
[image error]March 23, 2022
D/s Dynamics while Grieving
My husband Wrex and I recently lost a beloved fur friend. One that has been with us for our entire relationship. And half of my life. It was a big loss. We’ve been grieving and during this time the punishment aspect of our dynamic has paused. But D/s hasn’t.
I asked Wrex if he preferred to pause our whole dynamic for a while, and his answer wasn’t really what I expected. I expected him to say no, and to explain that he knew how much I needed it.
But what he said was: “No, I need it right now.”
He needed to take care of me, he said. And normally, I would have felt selfish and fought it, instead trying to take care of him. But I realized that letting him take care of me, letting him bring me water and vitamins, listening to him when he tells me to exercise or eat… That was taking care of him, too.
I understood that because during the final days with my sweet girl, I needed to be the one to take care of her. I needed to be there for her; bathe her, spoon feed her, and help her walk. I was falling apart inside but she needed me, so I stayed together. She held me together.
The difference is, I’m capable of taking care of myself. But giving him the power to care for me in even the most simple ways, and accepting that support without resistance, has brought us both peace during our grieving.
I think that even without D/s, we would have handled our grief in a similar way. But D/s has given us both structure during a time where our daily routine is being rewritten. And I’m thankful for that structure.
[image error]March 14, 2022
Pi — An Irrationally Erotic Poem
Pi — An Irrationally Erotic Poem
Three point one four one five nine
I count numbers in my head
As you serenade my spine.
You play with me like music -
Two six five three five eight nine
The numbers have a rhythm,
feel its heartbeat in my core.
Chaos beats its hungry pulse -
Seven nine three two three eight four
Your fingers move precisely,
And I burn as you create.
Ravenous circles pull me -
Six two six four three three eight
I calculate my time left
Before I melt into you.
Minutes left until consumed.
Three two seven nine five zero two
Bodies like geometry,
Making shapes until there's none.
Irrationality drips -
Eight eight four one nine seven one
Our infinity has come.
---
Author’s Note:
- Each line in the 3-line stanzas is 7 syllables and each of the numerical lines contains 7 numbers. The entire poem is 22 lines. A little play on pi approximation 22/7.
- Check out the Instagram reel of this poem here: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CbGQlqTJRdf/?utm_medium=copy_link
March 11, 2022
I Want to Fuck a Stranger.
My sexuality is fluid. I tried to put a label on it...demisexual, asexual, graysexual, hypersexual. All of these describe me at certain…
