Michelle Zink's Blog, page 21

Wake Me Up Before You Go Go!

Sometimes, when a day is really tough – or when the night before has been really tough – you just need a pick me up.

Am I right?!

Writers are notorious for their consumption of candy, chocolate, and coffee (I once heard a murmur rise like a tidal wave in a group of writers at a conference when word got out the conference organizers had forgotten to order coffee). Sour Patch Kids used to be my weapon of choice for motivating me to keep working, but I figured if I didn’t want to be diabetic by the time I was 45, I probably should just STOP.

Now I chew gum in all kinds of flavors to avoid candy. But I have to admit to an ever-present addiction to tea and coffee. I’d like to break it eventually, but right now, my days seem to be a cycle of sleeping when I’m tired and caffeinating to wake up again.

Probably not the healthiest thing in the world, but it’s working for me right now.

How about you? What’s your pick me up of choice? Coffee? Tea? Sugar? Or maybe that good old fashioned pick me up — SLEEP? Or maybe… all of the above (because in this poll, you can choose as many answers as apply)!

Weigh in with the Friday Poll!

Take Our Poll

Circle of Fire Prize Packs! Want One? Get One!

I think I got my box of Circle of Fire paperbacks sometime in July. I’d intended to do a giveaway then, but…. yeah. Needless to say, I’m a bit behind.

But better late than never, right? Especially when it means a giveaway!

So here’s your chance to win one of five (5) Circle of Fire Prize Packs. Each prize pack includes a signed copy of Circle of Fire, a Victoria Secret body spray, a Circle of Fire wristband, one of my super gorgeous bookmarks, and a mini candle with metal holder.

To enter, all you have to do is tweet about the giveaway, including a link. Don’t have Twitter? No problem! You can post about the giveaway and include a link on any social networking platform including Facebook, Tumblr, etc. Just post a link to your post in the Comments section and we’ll include your entries.

Contest runs from today through Friday September 21st at Midnight EST. You can tweet or post about the contest once a day for a total of 23 possible entries. Giveaway open to US and Canadian residents or anyone with a US mailing address.

 

 

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Goodbyes and Get-On-With-Its

Last week marked a momentous occasion for the Zink household; I sent my beloved girl, Rebekah (pictured here at graduation with her best friend), off to college.

The date, of course, had been looming for a long, long time, ever since she was accepted in the Spring and we started receiving information about move-in. But somehow, it still came as a shock to actually drive away without her.

As many of you know, she and I are extraordinarily close. As she’s grown, she’s become more than a daughter. She’s become a friend and my nearly constant companion. Which is only part of the reason I know this will be good for her.

She’s only going to school about a half hour away. In fact, she could easily have commuted (and many of the local kids here do commute to this university). But I really felt that it was time for her to get out in the world, to see some of it through the lens of her own eyes, to develop memories and experiences apart from those we’ve shared.

All of which is a reminder how very much our children teach us. Because I’ll be honest – it was tempting. Aside from the obvious incentive of keeping her home, there were very real financial incentives for commuting, too (room and board makes up more than half the tuition).

But, as my children have taught me, love isn’t selfish. As much as I want to keep them close, I also want them to see and experience everything the world has to offer. And they just can’t do that from home.

My mantra to them lately has been, “Adventure is out there!!! Not in here… Out THERE!”

And it is. Not just for them, but for me, too. For years, I’ve been daydreaming about the places I want to see and the things I want to do when the kids are all grown up. Soon, I’ll get my chance. So it’s time to put my money where my mouth is and start dreaming, not just for my children, but for me, too. Time to stop mourning the loss of one thing and celebrate the start of something new. In short, time to get on with it.

So this is me. Getting on with it.

 

Thank You by Alanis Morisette

I’ve had this song stuck in my head ever since I heard it (for the first time in many years) in THE WAY, a movie I proselytized about in yesterday’s post.

It’s not new, but it’s still awesome. Every now and then, I just need a reminder to thank the universe for ALL the experiences that come my way, because yes, even terror and disillusionment bring growth and discovery. And what is life without those things?

Movie Monday Returns with The Way

Welp, it’s been awhile. I planned to be good about blogging this summer, but it was Rebekah’s last summer before college and I found I just wanted to spend time with her and the other kids. I did some writing, but other than that, we watched movies, read books, and just hung out.

It was lovely, but I’ve missed you guys and am excited to catch up!

I can’t think of a better way to get back into the swing of things than with the return of Movie Monday to spread the word about a movie I ADORED.

THE WAY is one of those very rare gems. A movie that makes you laugh and cry and inspires you to do something different. A little Indie written, directed, and produced by Emilio Estevez (color me impressed, for realz), this film moved me so much that I watched it twice in one week (aided by the fact that it’s currently streaming on Netflix).

The plot centers around the death of a Tom’s son, Daniel, while walking the Camino de Santiago, a path through Spain that people walk to make “pilgrimage”. I’d never heard of the trail, but it turns out people make the walk for all kinds of reasons, some looking for miracles and others seeking a catalyst for change.

Daniel was a traveler, forgoing his doctorate to see the world, much to the chagrin of his traditional father (perfectly portrayed by Estevez’s real life father, Martin Sheen). When Tom goes to France to pick up his son’s remains, he makes an impromptu decision to hike the Camino. In the process, he finally comes to understand his son — and maybe even himself.

THE WAY is one of those very rare movies that I can honestly pronounce “perfect” from beginning to end. Hats off to Estevez and his whole cast and crew.

Friday Poll; Second (Writer) Chances

I’ve come to the conclusion that being published has allowed me to see the best and worst in people. I’ve been the grateful subject of tremendous support, endless encouragement, and appreciation from all over the world. I’ve had the privilege of talking to, learning from, and befriending many talented people (published authors and otherwise) and have seen the writing community rally around people in need due to all kinds of circumstances.

On the other hand, I’ve seen reviewers be downright mean, witnessed high school-esque backstabbing, and rumor-mongering that would make a Mean Girl proud.

And then there are things I just don’t get. Like people who have NEVER liked an author’s work but keep reading and reviewing.

Now, OF COURSE these people have a right to read and review what they want. They can hate every one of an author’s books and keep reading and reviewing if they want.

I guess I just don’t get it. I’m SO BUSY. I’m lucky if I get to read all the books I’m DYING to read. So if I haven’t liked someone’s work in the past, especially if I’ve tried more than one of their books, I just don’t bother reading the others. Not because I think they’re terrible hacks, but because I acknowledge that not every writer is for every reader. Writers have certain styles and specific voices, and there’s just no way every one of us is going to connect with every one of you. Some people want heavy character development and don’t care much about a unique plot. Others want fast-paced action and don’t like characters who navel gaze. Some readers like tons of setting detail. Others find it boring and slow. I can go on Goodreads and look at the books I think are the most brilliant contributions to literature in the last 100 years and still find lots of people who rip on it without reservation.

So I tend to skip titles – even heavily hyped ones – by authors I just don’t connect with.

But that’s just me. And it got me thinking about books and authors and second chances. I can’t help wondering if I’m in the minority, if everyone else gives every author an endless number of chances to win them over. I guess it would be a mixed blessing; awesome that people keep giving your work a try, not so awesome if they start reviews with something like, “I’ve never liked so-and-so’s work, and this one was no exception.”

What about you? How many chances does an author get to win you over before you decide they’re just not for you?

Weigh in with the Friday Poll (and feel free to discuss in the comments)!

Take Our Poll

Me, Myself, and I; My Quest to Banish Ego

In my bid for inner peace, I’ve been thinking a lot about ego for the past year or so.

Now, when you say ego, all kinds of things typically come to mind; people who are stuck up, “egotistical”, condescending, etc. But I’ve been thinking of it in terms of the idea that ego is a separate entity from our true selves. An entity created and fed by the way others perceive us and our attachment to those perceptions.

I’ve read a lot on ego, but this is by far the most profound and fascinating explanation of ego, what it does, and the harm it can cause us. This description by Osho explains that the ego given to us through the perceptions of others is a “false center,” one that causes us misery because it needs to be fed constantly, and the only way to feed it is to be pleasing to others, or to “the society” as a whole. It goes on to explain that much of human misery arises from being a slave to the ego.

The more I’ve thought about this, the more I’ve found it to be true. I used to dread going places sometimes, even someplace close like the store. I eventually traced part of my annoyance to the fact that I had to shower, put make-up on, make sure my hair was presentable, put on a certain “outward” affect, etc. when what I really wanted to do was go out, get the errands done, and come home to work or do something else I enjoy. And my need to do all that pre-errand prep arose from ego; my desire that others would find me pleasing.

The same can be said of a lot of things. If I’m anxious in public, it’s because I’m concerned with how others perceive me. If I’m hurt because I feel someone has snubbed me, it’s because I fear how they see me, that they don’t like me, or perceive me as somehow not being “good enough”. If I feel bad over negative reviews, it’s because my work (and in some way, myself) hasn’t been accepted the way I wanted it to. The way I needed it to to feed the ego.

There are areas where the line is blurry. I hate getting negative reviews, but even when I manage to set aside my feelings about how others perceive my work, there is a very real concern; my livelihood and ability to support my family. But in general, eliminating the ego-driven things I do and say is helpful. I feel more at peace now and spend more time doing the things I love with the people I love. I don’t feel obligated to maintain friendships that aren’t good for me (though I’m always friendly when running into people I know), attend events I don’t enjoy, wear make-up to the grocery store (and now, I rarely wear it at all), say things I don’t mean, etc., etc.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between the things we do for us and the things we do to serve the ego. I’ll go to a birthday party for someone I care about, even if the event itself isn’t something I want to attend (I’m a recluse by nature). But I’ll do it out of love for the person in question, NOT because people will think I’m a selfish bitch if I don’t go.

Then there are things we do just for us. Things we enjoy and love and feel passionate about. Those things represent our truest selves. When we are true to our truest selves, a lot of life’s suffering and uncertainty and petty little unhappiness falls away, because we can focus on the experience of being in each moment without that little voice in the head, “What if so and so is mad at me? What if they don’t like me? What if they think I’m a slob? What is they think I’m rude/ugly/stupid/humorless?” And on and on.

I still wear make-up every now and then. But only when I WANT to for whatever reason. I still go to social events, book events, parties for work or because I genuinely look forward to communing with others. I still buy new clothes for myself when I find something that really speaks to me or something I just love looking at, but not because I think others will judge me for not being put together enough or wearing jeans and a black t-shirt (my uniform) for the 100th time. I’ll splurge on nice perfume, not for anyone else, but because catching the scent throughout the day brings me pleasure. I’ve turned to vegetarianism (and try to be vegan 3-4 days a week) and yoga, not because I want to look better, but because I feel healthier and have more energy. I refuse to weigh myself or be concerned with weight in any way shape or form. I did that for too many years. It was all about everyone else and it made me miserable. Now, I just want to feel good in my own skin. I couldn’t care less what the tags on my clothes say.

It’s a work in progress. The ego is an old, insidious friend. We now who we are when staring at ourselves through the lens of others. Losing that means we have to see ourselves as we truly are.

And that can be scary as fuck.

But also wonderful and beautiful and so, so liberating.

Say Hey!

Oh, my gosh, you guys… I LOVE this song so much. Because it made me smile! And dance!

And any smile that can make me smile and dance is a winner.

Plus, the video is so happy making, and I’ve never listened to anything by Michael Franti before. So thanks to Jessie for the smile, the dance, the happiness, and the new music.

Hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did!

No Light, No Light + Winners!

This week’s song comes to you courtesy of Melissa, one of my favorite bloggers and readers. I LOVE all of Florence + the Machine’s music, but this is probably one of my favorites.

Thanks, Melissa!

I also need to announce the winners of the Escape Into Books Super Summer Giveaway. *cue drum roll*

The winners of a massive summer prize pack are… Nevey and Christina.

Congrats, you guys! Both winners were chosen by the RNG (Random Number Generator). Please email Rebekah at prophecypress@aol.com with your full name and mailing address and we’ll get your prize packs right out to you.

Everyone else; stay tuned for the next giveaway. And in the meantime, enjoy this week’s song!

Riverside

This week’s song is brought to you by Andrew, one of my favorite UK readers. I just adore Agnes’s voice, and her piano playing is just gorgeous. Reminds me a bit of A Fine Frenzy!

I actually had three different people email me with great song recommendations, which is funny, because usually I’m begging you guys for suggestions on Facebook and Twitter. This is a wonderful abundance of good music! You’ll be hearing the others in the next couple of weeks.

Also, a quick reminder that all three Prophecy novellas, Whisper of Souls, Mistress of Souls, and Rise of Souls are officially out. And speaking of abundance, the Circle of Fire paperback released today, too, which sort of officially ends the Prophecy of the Sisters trilogy. Now that all three books are out in paperback, it’s a great time to read the trilogy if you haven’t already. It’s the story of my heart, and I feel so privileged to be able to tell it.

What a wonderful ride it’s been. Thank you all for sharing it with me.

And here’s to more great stories…