Mark Allen Moore's Blog, page 2

Too Early to Quit

“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope….”

Romans 5:3-4

I have this scripture on an index card pinned to my wall in front of my desk. It’s eye level so that it’s the first thing I see when I lift my head up from my computer. I need the reminder. Constantly.

It’s not just a reminder that there will be suffering, but it’s a reminder that suffering has a process, AND the process is to bring us to a place of HOPE. But the journey to hope runs through a place of endurance and perseverance. The message here is that it takes time. It’s not endurance if time is not involved.

The problem is that we want the suffering and pain to end yesterday. We pursue relief over restoration. They are not the same thing. One deals with the symptoms while the other deals with the deeper issues that cause the pain. Restoration requires work and perseverance.

In my journey through grief, I’ve discovered that pain ebbs and tides. While the “tides” carried more pain, I have found that the “ebbing” of my grief caused more problems. It’s in those moments or seasons where we tend to think the pain is over, we’ve passed the test. Then, on schedule, the tides roll in and try to destroy our hope. That’s why Paul says “suffering produces endurance….” It’s the ability to stay the course. It’s a “no quit” lifestyle.

This is such an important topic. We’ve lost our understanding as followers of Christ of what it means to endure. We put a time limit on our “perseverance.” If things aren’t better after a certain amount of time, we quit. We quit our job, we quit our marriage, we quit the ministry, we quit relationships, and we quit having hope. After a while, we become professionals at “quitting.” We don’t call it quitting, of course. We call it “self-care”, “self-help”, of “pursuing personal happiness.”

Ultimately it’s our hope that suffers when we quit.

Don’t misunderstand me. There are situations of abuse that require that we leave, or remove ourselves. It’s not quitting to leave an abusive situation. It’s wisdom. However, not everything that is painful is abuse. We need to learn how to make the distinction, otherwise, we’re going to keep going around the same mountain and dealing with the same pain – but having no growth to account for it.

This is also true: it’s not just about enduring, but it’s about how you endure. The word in the Greek literally means “cheerful or hopeful endurance.” It’s not just “gritting our teeth” and suffering through it. It is not a “waiting” it out. It’s an actionable response to suffering…it’s hopeful, even when we don’t feel it.

When Michelle and I returned from the funeral home after a very painful time of making all the decisions for our daughter’s burial, we were a wreck. Looking at the different plots, headstones, and flowers, and making the arrangements for the church and funeral service was one of the most difficult moments in our lives. However, after making it back to our Airbnb, I made a difficult choice—I put my headphones on, went to the walk-in closet in our bedroom, and worshiped.

It was not easy because nothing in that moment made sense. Emotionally I was a mess, and truthfully, I was still mad at God. Yet, in my heart, I knew He was good. I knew He was faithful, because I was not a stranger to suffering and endurance. So, I chose to worship. I didn’t wait until I felt like worshiping, because, honestly, nearly 3 years later, I still don’t “feel” like worshiping most days. I have to lead myself into a place of worship.

Our attitude while we endure is as important as the endurance itself.

After we’ve endured, the journey is still not complete. Paul says that “endurance produces character.” In the Greek, it’s not actually “character”, that’s just the closest word we could find for it. The word actually means “tried, tested, and proved.” This makes sense because the word for “produces” is the word, katergazomai. It means, “to work fully.”

So here’s the summary. Our hope is fully realized when we allow suffering to do it’s full work on our lives. Suffering fully accomplishes hopeful endurance in us, creating strong people who see the building of the Kingdom through to the end. Strong people have been “tried, tested, and proved” in the fires of suffering and endurance. They are the ones who have stayed in the fight long enough to see God’s hand of restoration and healing. Their HOPE is built on the back of endurance.

When things come up against men and women who have endured through suffering, they have HOPE, because they have walked suffering through to the end and have seen the goodness of God in the midst of their disappointments, grief, and pain.

These are the ones that God uses to build His Kingdom.

Stay the course. Don’t quit. He is good and He is faithful.

Peace.

A Prisoner of Hope

“Return to the stronghold, you prisoners of hope.
Even today I declare that I will restore double to you.”

Zechariah 9:12

My wife, Michelle, wrote this passage on the mirror of our bathroom several months ago. I would read it in passing every so often as I was getting ready in the morning. Not surprisingly, and probably like many of you just did, my focus would immediately go to the last sentence – “I will restore double to you.”

And we all say, “Amen! Yes Lord!”

Our family has lost a lot over the last 3 years, so “double” is a SIGNIFICANT amount. Of course, I would be happy with a normal portion, but if God wants to give me double, I’m not going to argue! Yet, I couldn’t stop thinking about the one phrase in that passage that just didn’t seem to fit – “prisoners of hope.”

What?

Those two words are diametrically opposed to one another. Being in prison is the antithesis of hope. It’s hopeLESS. How can you be a prisoner OF hope?

Over the next several weeks, as I began to think on that phrase, the Lord began to reveal some amazing insights to me concerning the pain, grief, and disappointment that we’ve had to walk through over the last several years.

Let me back up a couple of years.

After we tragically lost our daughter in the Summer of 2020, the Lord began to speak to me about some things that we were walking through. My faith had been shattered, my hope felt lost, and, honestly, I felt abandoned by the Lord – but I continued to read His word and press into His presence. What else was I going to do?

I had always been intrigued by one particular story in John 6. As I was reading one morning, I came across the story again, and the Lord used my disappointment and disillusion to reveal something significant.

Jesus is teaching the multitude. It says there were thousands that had followed him to the other side of the Sea of Galilee, because they saw the miracles that he was doing for the sick. After He finishes teaching, Jesus feeds all of them with just five loaves and two fish. Another miracle witnessed by thousands. From there, his disciples went back across the Sea of Galilee, but the sea becomes rough with strong winds blowing. They look up, and they see Jesus, in the midst of the storm, walking on the water.

I realize most of you know this story, but I wanted to set the stage for what’s going to happen next. It’s important to remember that ALL of His followers had just seen Jesus do amazing things. Signs and wonders and miracles. The thousands had followed Him BECAUSE of the miracles that they had seen him do.

Then, the next day, Jesus is teaching again to the same people from the day before. They had followed Him across the Sea of Galilee, and found Him in Capernaum. He knew that they had followed Him because of the miracle with the loaves of bread, so He took that opportunity to speak to them about the “Bread of Life.” As He tells them that HE is the Bread of Life, He makes this statement: “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him.” John 6:53-53

Of course, two thousand years later, and we understand what Jesus was trying to convey in this message, but on that day, it was obviously quite disturbing – so much so that many of His disciples stopped following Him.

Here is where it gets interesting. After many of those that had been following Him decided that this statement was too strange and left, the bible says that Jesus then turned to His disciples in verse 67 and said, “Do you also want to go away?”

Here is Peter’s interesting response in verse 68: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.“

I’ve always looked at this passage as a response of resignation. “Where else are we going to go?” Let’s be honest. If you or I were to hear the words that Jesus spoke about His flesh and blood, we all would’ve thought He was losing His mind. There was no context for those statements at that moment, so it was weird. YET, the twelve stayed. Why? Peter told us why – because they had nowhere better to go. Of everything that they had ever seen, heard, or felt, Jesus was the ONLY One that had the words of eternal life – and they handcuffed themselves to that truth. They believed, even in the midst of their doubts.

They had become prisoners of hope.

Many times we tie ourselves to our faith only to cut ourselves free at the first sign of pain, loss, disappointment, confusion, or doubt. Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

In other words, we are to be confident in our hope and convicted in the things we don’t see – even when things seem to run completely counter to what we see and what we’ve hoped for. We stand firm in our faith, despite our circumstances. Michelle and I have had every reason to walk away from everything and turn our back on our faith. But, as Peter said, where would we go? Jesus is still the best solution and the words that He continues to speak are the only words of eternal life. We have locked ourselves in a prison of hope, and He is the One who carries the key.

Things are not always going to make sense in life and there will be mysteries that don’t get answered this side of eternity. Sometimes, those mysteries will try to wreck your understanding of who God is and how Good He is. Make no mistake, when trials, tribulations, pain, and suffering attach themselves to us, we will become prisoners. We will either be prisoners of our circumstances, or we will choose to be prisoners of hope.

I choose hope.

“Return to the stronghold, you prisoners of hope. Even today I declare that I will restore double to you.”

Peace.

What Am I Doing Here!?

STOP! You probably don’t want to read this blog if you’re looking for a comfortable, convenient, unchallenged life. This is not a “how to get rich quick” blog or a “how to finally fulfill that stubborn bucket list.” In fact, this blog might sting a little if those things are a driving force in your life. Like never before, we need to have a renewed understanding of God’s perspective and our purpose. As a church, as followers of Christ, we have lost our way. God has given each of us a purpose, and it’s greater than you think – it doesn’t just involve providing a roof over your family’s head and making sure your children are safe and have a good start on life – these are all good things that fall way, way short of God’s plan for your life. Yet, so many of us measure success according to those goals.

Of all the instructions that Jesus gave to His followers, not one of them included comfort, convenience, education, wealth or situational happiness. Can those things happen when we’re pursuing the Kingdom of God? Absolutely. BUT, that IS NOT the goal. The goal is the advancement of HIS kingdom, not ours. Consequently, when we are chasing our purpose in the Kingdom, there will be sacrifices, pain and suffering.

Let’s examine some of the promises that Jesus gave to those that chose to follow Him:

“Then they will deliver you to tribulation, and will kill you, and you will be hated by all nations because of My name.” Matthew 24:9

“For to you it has been granted for Christ’s sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake….” Philippians 1:29

“If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.” Matthew 16:24

Our family moved back to the states almost 3 years ago after living in the Middle East for 16 years. It’s been an eye-opening experience, to be honest, seeing the differences in how Christians live in the USA versus how they live in other parts of the world. In the Middle East, to become a Christian is a massive decision. It’s not made lightly. In making a decision for Christ, they will, in all likelihood, have to abandon their family, lose their job, and become an outcast among their friends, community, and culture. All of that is assuming that they survive the decision. Their concerns are not about how good the sermon was, or whether there were enough lights or fog machines on the stage. They are not concerned about the size of the congregation, or whether they serve coffee and donuts.

In other parts of the world, the decision to follow Jesus is a life choice – they are consumed by it. They have made an exchange – this life, and all it’s comforts, conveniences, friendships, and rewards, for the eternal rewards of the next life. When you really think about it, it’s not much of a choice. However, it means sacrificing this life, revoking our citizenship, abandoning our “rights”, and stepping into the calling that our Father has placed on each and every one of us – no exceptions.

What is that calling? Well, I’ve already mentioned where it starts: denying ourself (comforts, conveniences, family, friends) grabbing our cross (a place of sacrifice and suffering) and following Him (Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Messiah, Healer, Bondage Breaker, Waymaker).

But what is the purpose of the calling? What are we doing here on earth? Why doesn’t He just return and take us home? Our Father has one purpose for keeping us here: we are His hands, His feet, and His voice to a lost generation. He is after their hearts and He has chosen us as His priests – the ones that will deliver His message.

Here are some instructions that He gave His disciples:

“And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, ‘All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.'” Matthew 28:18-20

“Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.” Matthew 10:8

And this is what James had to add to the conversation:

“Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” James 1:27

Jesus kept His instructions simple and straightforward. The problem is that we’ve complicated them. If we can complicate something enough, we can manipulate what that looks like – we can define it according to our own measurements and make it comfortable and convenient. Maybe we can even erase some of the sacrifice and the risk of giving everything to the cause of Christ.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. When we try to define the call of Christ according to our comforts, we’re left with a weak and tepid Christianity that carries no weight or authority in the Kingdom of God or on earth. I’m sorry if that offends you. Sometimes, we need to be offended so that we can wake up and re-examine our lives and the commitment that we’ve made to the Kingdom of God. It’s why Jesus said,

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

After losing our daughter, I did a lot of re-examining. I was angry. I thought, “How could you, Lord, after all that I’ve already sacrificed?” I had placed a premium on my family. I was willing to give God anything, as long as He didn’t take that from me and kept them safe. I felt that I had given enough – that I had met the “quota” of sacrifice, and it guaranteed me a certain amount of protection. But I discovered, rather abruptly, that’s not how it works.

In His Kingdom, all means all.

Don’t misunderstand. I’m not suggesting that God took my daughter from me, I don’t believe that. However, I’ve had to face the reality that it was within His power to heal her, to restore her, and to give her back to me. For what ever reason, He chose not to do that. The “why” was actually not important. Over the coming days, weeks, and months as I processed our loss, I had to come to terms with the fact that I had not given Him everything. I withheld my daughter, as well as my other children and my wife. My family had become first, not Him.

I wanted to share that story because I want you to know that I’m not above it all just because I moved my family half-way across the world under the guise of serving Him. I still struggle with all the same wants and desires that are constantly pulling at me from this world. I’m not entirely certain that I could survive the loss of another child, but I am more and more of the mind that this world is not my home and I have a mandate to pursue and build His Kingdom.

We are not left here on this world to simply sing His praises on Sunday morning and become better people. Those things would be better achieved in heaven, not on earth. So, if He has left us here, He has a purpose for us that goes beyond what most of us are doing.

One of my heroes of the faith is missionary and martyr for Christ, Jim Elliot. I’m on the path I’m on today because of the example of his life recklessly given to the advancement of the Kingdom of God. He had a single focus and a determination to fulfill God’s mandate. He gave his life for that cause at an early age.

We refer to him and others like him as “exceptional, unique, and special.” He would disagree. He was simply living the life laid out in the Word of God as representing a follower of Jesus. To Jim Elliot, he was living a normal life, not a unique one. He was able to walk that mandate out because he set his expectations on Christ and His upward call.

He shared his perspective on the life of a Christian in a letter to his future wife, Elisabeth Elliot:

“Dearest Betty, ‘We are the sheep of His pasture. Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise.’ And what are the sheep doing going into the gate? What is their purpose inside those courts? To bleat melodies and enjoy the company of the flock? No. Those sheep were destined for the altar. Their pasture feeding had been for one purpose, to test them and fatten them for bloody sacrifice. Give Him thanks, then, that you have been counted worthy of His altars. Enter into the work with praise.”[i]

We’ve been raised under years of teaching that if we ask, He will provide it and that He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. We have made a doctrine out of Deuteronomy 28 – The Blessing of Obedience. I’m not saying God doesn’t bless us, “pressed down, shaken together and running over.” He’s a good, good Father. However, I believe His blessings fall more under the defining purpose of Abraham. God told Abraham,

“And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.“ Genesis 12:2

There is always a purpose to the blessing, and it’s not simply to make you happy or make your life more comfortable and convenient. He gives us what we need to fulfill our mandate – to make disciples of all nations, to heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead.

Look, I don’t say all of this to paint a bleak picture of life is like when we give everything. It’s not bleak when we commit it ALL for the sake of the Kingdom. We actually walk into a place of peace and joy that is not dependent on our circumstances. WOW. How awesome would that be to NOT be moved by every circumstance or situation? Michelle and I would not be able to stand and move forward without the blessing and grace of God – we are living examples of hope and purpose in the midst of disappointment. He has poured out a measure of grace on our lives that is nothing short of abundant. The scriptures reinforce this:

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4

“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” I Peter 5:10

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” II Corinthians 4:17

There are so many other verses that proclaim the goodness of God in our sacrifice and commitment. When we commit to lay it all down for His kingdom, He is faithful to bless us, but the blessing may not look like a comfortable life. It will probably look like a wonderful, amazing, abundant life in the midst of disappointment and sacrifice. It’s a life following the One that cut the path towards the cross. It’s a life that impacts families, communities, and nations.

Don’t settle for years of standing around until the Messiah returns or your life on this planet ends. You might be sadly surprised at how that actually turns out for you. A follower of Christ is doing what Jesus did…that’s what it means to “follow.” He didn’t sit around waiting – He was about His Father’s work – building His Kingdom.

We should be doing the same.

Peace.

[i] Elliot, Elisabeth. Shadow of the Almighty. New York: HarperCollins, 2009.

Falling Forward

I recently returned from a trip to the earthquake zone in Turkey. We’ve had members of Hope4Nations working in the area since the very beginning and I wanted to see the work and the devastation first hand. I had seen video and pictures, heard the stories, but nothing imprints the pain and loss more permanently on your heart than walking the streets and talking to the people effected. The magnitude of the disaster cannot be described in words or captured in pictures.

As I stood in the midst of the devastation, I remember thinking, “There was nothing anyone could do to save themselves or their loved ones.” The earthquakes happened in the early hours of the morning, while everyone was sleeping. I understood the overwhelming feeling of helplessness that must have fallen on those that had survived. 3 years ago we lost our twenty year-old daughter to a 4-wheeler accident in Texas while we were serving overseas. I remember the feeling that there was nothing I could do to help or prevent the loss of our little girl. We “fell” into our grief with an overwhelming sense of helplessness.

James addresses this in James 1:2. He writes, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials….”

Sometimes we “fall” into trials, difficulties, and pain. We didn’t ask for it and we didn’t do anything that caused it – it was out of our control, but we still suffer the consequences of the action. In those moments we feel the overwhelming pain of helplessness. Many times, maybe most of the time, our helplessness turns into hopelessness. We’re inundated with questions of “why?” or “what could I have done?”

James doesn’t leave us with questions. In the same sentence he provides the answer. He says, “count it all joy….” That doesn’t make sense though. How can we count it joy when it was so devastating and out of our control?

The Greek word used for “count” (or “consider” in some translations) is the word hegiomai. It means to “govern, rule, lead.” This is the message from James: When you FALL into trials and difficulties that you did not cause, lead yourself into joy. Lead yourself into peace. Lead yourself to Christ. It’s not easy. It’s actually a process, a journey, of making good, but very difficult, choices. Happiness, on the other hand, is something that is based in our circumstances. We are happy when we can pay our bills, we are happy when our family is growing and succeeding, we are happy when things are going the way we had hoped they would go. We are happy WHEN….

Joy on the other hand is a product of our relationship with Christ. It is a product of making good choices, choices that don’t necessarily line up with our circumstances. James says that when we choose to lead ourselves into joy, it “produces” something in us. We could also use the word “builds” something in us. If you’ve ever built something, you know that it doesn’t just happen with a single word or action. It’s a process of growth. It takes time. It takes commitment and perseverance. That’s why James says if you will commit to the process it will build, produce “steadfastness.” Leading ourselves in joy when we “fall” into difficulties and trials builds character and a “do not quit” attitude.

Basically, it means that when we “fall” we are learning to “fall forward.” You will fail in life. Some of it will be of your own making, but some of it will be out of your hands. In either situation, you can learn to fall forward, not backward. You can grow from your failures, mistakes, and uncontrollable situations. But it requires leading yourself into something better.

The great thing about it is that our heavenly Father is there to help. It’s why I love the story of the prodigal son so much. The son made a choice. He committed to that choice and came home. He lead himself to the Father. The Father was watching for him – He had always been watching for him. Waiting for him to make the right choice. The story says “…when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him…the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.”

This is our heavenly Father. He is watching for us to begin the process of returning. When He sees us, still a GREAT WAY off, He runs to us. He doesn’t meet us half way, He runs the greater distance. Once He has us in His arms, He restores EVERYTHING to us. He throws us a huge “welcome home” party and spares no expense in His celebrations.

All it requires from us is to choose joy, to choose peace, to choose HIM in the midst of our pain…every day.

That’s how we FALL FORWARD.

Peace.

Shattered

We’ve all heard the words that break us. “I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go.” “I don’t love you anymore, I want a divorce.” “We’re sorry to inform you that you have not been accepted.” “After further testing, we’ve found that your cancer has returned.”

We can all quote or remember the words spoken in those moments that we were shattered.

I remember ours. It happened while we were on our way to church after my wife had tried to call our daughter and a Sheriff’s Deputy answered her phone. “I’m sorry to inform you that your daughter has been in a serious accident and has been care flighted to the emergency room, where she is in critical condition.”

We’ve all had moments, days, or years where we’ve felt our lives have been burned to the ground and the only thing that remains are the ashes.

We all have expectations for how our lives will turn out and what our journeys will look like. Maybe the expectations only exist in our minds and are never actually expressed, but we have them all the same. These are our hopes and dreams, and sometimes our fears. But, they are also our disappointments when our story doesn’t follow the plot we had written.

When an expectation is not met, it becomes a loss. Many times that loss results in unexpected changes and directions in life. Maybe it was the loss of a career or marriage. Maybe it was a broken relationship or a child born with deformities. Disappointment comes in many forms, but all of them can be crushing if we’ve placed them on a pedestal.

The reality is each of us will have many disappointments in life. When we are in the middle of them, they all seem like more than we can handle, and many times they actually are.

Michelle and I have walked through disappointments. We’ve seen dreams that didn’t pan out (at least not in the way or in the timing we had expected), broken relationships we thought would be “forever” friendships, a miscarriage, and most recently, the tragic and sudden loss of our twenty-year old daughter. So yeah, we understand disappointment and grief.

It’s in the moments of having our dreams shattered that we find ourselves thrown into the harsh realities of life, stretched out on the rocks; battered, beaten, broken, and bruised. The ink on the pages of our story is smudged and barely recognizable. This is NOT how we planned it! It doesn’t look anything like we thought it should!

Michelle’s and my faith has taken a beating. Yet, it’s emerging stronger and with greater understanding than ever before. We are discovering, through experience, our faith isn’t meant to be born out of ignorance, fear, or what we see. Rather, its foundation is laid by how we worship when our outcomes don’t match up to our expectations.

The reality for those of us who call ourselves “followers or disciples of Christ” is that our Heavenly Father has His own set of expectations for us. He has given us a purpose while we exist in this microscopic moment on the timeline of eternity. We’re here for a short time to build His Kingdom and be His hands and feet and, when necessary, His voice to the world.

So, we stay firm in our resolve. Disappointment may come and try to shatter or break us, but we will keep our eyes on our destiny…a time, not too far in the distant future, when this world will no longer have any hold over us…where we will truly be free.

I love how C.S. Lewis explains it best:

“And as He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read:  which goes on forever:  in which every chapter is better than the one before.”[i]

While the Chronicles of Narnia is a work of fiction, C.S. Lewis’ words, I believe, were meant to mirror another work that is NOT fiction, but the truth of our future written by John the Beloved but revealed by our heavenly Father,

“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.’ And he who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.‘” (Revelation 21:3-4 ESV)

My heart yearns for the other side of eternity. More now than ever. It’s my home and I cannot wait to be there. My disappointment and grief brought me to this place of hope. They could have delivered me to a darker place, a place devoid of light, joy, and peace, but instead of becoming lost in the darkness, I decided, I led and governed myself, to turn toward the light. I allowed my Savior to put me on a new path. I stopped resisting and I surrendered to His will and to His presence.

Our journey is not done. Remember C.S. Lewis said, this has “only been the cover and the title page.” Michelle and I are still a work in progress. Our marriage is not perfect because we are not perfect. Our children are not perfect, and our lives are far from it. We are living from valley to valley and from glory to glory. This is not our home, and it never will be. Every chapter will be better than the one before. Our story this side of eternity is still being written.

So is yours!

Peace.

If you would like to read more on this topic and others like it, check out my book:

https://amzn.to/3NZW

[i] Lewis, C.S. The Last Battle. New York, New York: HarperCollins, 1956.

An Ugly Word: Endure

Experts tell us “success breeds success.” I’m not here to argue the merits of that statement. However, I will say success is not the ONLY factor that breeds success, in fact, it’s pretty low on the scale of things needed to be successful. Don’t get me wrong, it certainly feels good to do something right and find victory in the midst of it. “Winning” is a great motivator. However, it’s rare indeed to find yourself on that top step hoisting the winner’s trophy when you’ve never been to a single practice or lifted a single weight. Champions are born out of adversity and opposition, not success. Success can fuel the journey, but opposition is what gives us the strength, maturity, and hope to stay the course.

That’s what it’s all about after all – staying the course. Not giving up. Finishing the race. We know the cliche statements like, “it’s always darkest before the dawn”, but it’s the truth of the matter. There can be no daybreak without the darkness of night. We have to walk through those moments and seasons of opposition and darkness and the pain associated with them to gain the strength needed to finish well.

Our family’s journey has been one full of adversity, opposition, pain, joy, peace, and a level of success that may not be fully measured this side of eternity. On that journey we’ve made countless mistakes and poor decisions. We’ve had difficulties in marriage, broken relationships and tragic loss. Yet, we’re still standing because we refuse to quit. Oh, don’t get me wrong, we’ve wanted to – many, many times. Our fingers have hovered over the “I’m done” button on more occasions than I care to count. In everything, we’ve found a way to stay the course because our strength to do so has been developed in the valleys, not on the mountain top.

One of the first things that we have to do in developing a lifestyle of endurance, is to learn to value the “little things.”

My earthly father is a man of few words, but when he has something to say, you should really listen. As a young man, full of himself and ready for his independence, I was determined to strike out on my own, get away from home and gain some freedom. My parents graciously, even though they were very concerned, let me go – releasing me into the hands of the Lord. I remember the day before I was to leave for college, my dad, the man of few words, pulled me aside to tell me he loved me and he was proud of me – not because of what I’d done or accomplished, but because of who I am – his son. Then he told me this, and I’ve never forgotten it: “In life, son, there are only two things that you need to know. First, don’t sweat the small stuff. Second, everything is small stuff.”

I’ve tried to remember those words every time something “big” happened in my life that felt overwhelming. I remember thinking about that as I stood in front of my daughter’s coffin as it was held above her grave. We had just finished the graveside service and everyone gave Michelle and I space to have a few last minutes with our daughter. “How can this be a ‘small’ thing?” I thought. “How can I reconcile the loss of my twenty year old daughter to what my father was saying to me more than 30 years earlier?”

We tend to measure the size and significance of something through the lens of how it impacts us on this side of eternity. The reality of the situation is that when eternity is brought into the equation, everything is small. This life is just a puff of air in light of eternity.

Everything truly is small, but just because it’s small doesn’t mean it has no value.

In fact, the way we handle the “small” things will determine how we handle things that the world may deem as big. Just because it’s small doesn’t mean it’s insignificant. Sometimes the smallest things can hold the greatest value. That being said, we can’t value one “small” thing over another “small” thing and think that God is going to show us favor as good stewards.

Being a good steward and attracting the favor of the Holy Spirit begins with small things. In fact, it begins with everything we lay our hands to do.

Here’s the rub, the enemy understands, probably better than we do, the importance of “small things”. Look at His conversation with Eve in the Garden of Eden. He asks her, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” Genesis 3:1b NKJV

His cunning question was designed to make light of God’s command. This is one of Satan’s primary attacks against God’s creation, to make obedience seem insignificant, small. If he can deceive us in the seemingly small things, or make things seem less important than they really are, then he can divert God’s plans and purposes for our lives. This is why it is so important to understand that obedience is obedience. Being obedient in one area is not any more important to God than another area.

In fact, I would say that if God doesn’t deem your obedience, in the areas that you consider insignificant, as faithful, He will never be able to trust you in those things that you consider great.

Let’s look at a popular story that Jesus tells to His followers. In Matthew 25:14-30, Jesus gives a parable about a ruler and his servants. The ruler was preparing for a long journey, and needed his servants to care for a certain amount of money. It’s obvious that he’s testing them to see their value to him in the future. So, he gives each of them an amount to care for with specific instructions to grow his investment.

There were three servants mentioned and he gives a different amount to each one. He gives five talents to the first, two to the second and one talent to the third. It says that he gave based on each servant’s abilities. In other words, the ruler knew what each servant was capable of. The first two servants invested their talents and received double back. The third servant buried his one talent for fear of losing what he had. To make a long story short, the first two servants were promoted to greater things for their faithfulness with the little that he had given them. The third was cast out of the presence of the master for failing to do what was required of him.

None of these servants was given much. Their master wanted to measure their faithfulness in the little things, so that he could determine if they were ready for greater things.

It is important in the Kingdom of God that we give equal significance to ALL things that the Lord is putting in our hands because the little things will determine the greater things.

We must be equally concerned about the seemingly “small” temptations, obstacles and opposition that come against us. The third servant didn’t think that the return on the investment was as significant as losing the investment altogether. He considered the return on investment a small thing compared to losing it all, so he held onto the capital that he was instructed to invest. It was fear led him there.

There are all kinds of reasons for ignoring the little things in our lives, and fear is at the root of most of them. Fear is a tactic of the enemy and is never a product of a healthy relationship with God. In fact, Timothy wrote, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV)

If we are experiencing fear, like the servant in Jesus’ parable, then we can know it is not from our heavenly Father. When we are in His presence, there is power, love and a sound mind (or a mind that has “self-control”). In other words, we are confident in who we are and we have the tools and resources necessary to do what God has called us to do – and that begins with the “little things.”

If left unattended because of fear, apathy, or any other reason that does not line up with what our Father has called us to do, those little things stack up to become big things. Those big things then wreck our lives and our relationship with the Father. Ignoring the little things delays our growth and our promotion or advancement, because we cannot be trusted.Before we can take the necessary steps to becoming people that overcome opposition, we have to become experts in the little things. It’s the first test of promotion in the Kingdom of God.

“This is the way to cultivate courage: First, by standing firm on some conscientious principle, some law of duty. Next, by being faithful to truth and right on small occasions and common events. Third, by trusting in God for help and power.”

James Freeman Clarke (19th Century Author and Theologian)

Peace.

If you would like to read more on this topic and others like it, check out my book:

https://amzn.to/3NZW

Broken

I hate it when things break. Usually things are costly to repair and in many instances, it’s just better to replace them. I’ve got a car sitting in the garage that’s in need of repair, and it’s going to be expensive (thus the reason it’s sitting in the garage ).

Most of us probably fall into that camp. We want our stuff to be whole and useful. That’s how we feel about our lives as well. We don’t want to be broken. Yet, all of us have been broken…all of us are broken. Broken relationships, broken hearts, broken faith, broken lives.

I read a post on a dear friend of mine’s Facebook yesterday. It was a repost that I’ve read before, so maybe you’ve read it as well, but I was thankful for the reminder. I’d like to share it because it speaks to the heart of the matter:

“I was in Dollar Tree last night, and there was a lady and two kids behind me in the LONG line. One was a big kid, and the other one was a toddler. The bigger one had a pack of glow sticks, and the toddler was screaming for them. The Mom opened the pack and gave him one which stopped his tears. He walked around with it smiling; but then the bigger boy took it, and the toddler started screaming again. Just as the Mom was about to fuss, the older child bent the glow stick and handed it back to the toddler. As we walked outside at the same time, the toddler noticed that the stick was now glowing; and his brother said, “I had to break it so that you could get the full effect from it.”

I almost ran, because l could hear God saying to me, “I had to break you to show you why I created you. You had to go through it so you could fulfill your purpose.”

That precious child was happy just swinging that “unbroken” glow stick around in the air, because he didn’t understand what it was created to do – which was “glow”.

There are some people who will be content just “being,” but some of us are chosen… we have to be “broken.”

We have to get sick.

We have to lose a job.

We go through a divorce.

We have to bury our spouse, parents, best friend, or our child…

In those moments of desperation, We were broken. But… when the breaking is done, then we will be able to see the reason for which we were created. So when you see us glowing, just know that we have been broken.” (Author Unknown)

Many of us have been through our share of brokenness the past 3 years – or we know someone who has. It’s painful, scary, discouraging, and filled with disappointment and grief. I know in my personal walk through grief I’ve also battled with the “why” of it all.

I look at the earthquake in Turkey and Syria, the complete devastation and loss of life (projected to be over 100,000 lives lost) and I think “How can anything good come from the rubble of this tragedy?”

Then I read verses in the Bible like Isaiah 61:1-3:

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,
Because the Lord has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
3 To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” NKJV

I particularly love verse 3, “…to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness….”

Jesus came to exchange our brokenness for things of beauty and joy. I was watching The Magnificent Seven the other day (the new version not the original), and Denzel Washington’s character said, “Whatever has been lost in the fire, we’ll find it in the ashes.”

WOW. What a statement.

It’s the story of redemption (The gospel, not the movie ). Nothing is lost in the arms of Jesus. Whatever has been broken, will be restored – and it will hold greater value than ever! He restores, rebuilds, and makes ALL things new. Sometimes, when we are not yet perfected, we have to be broken to be restored to something better.

Don’t despise or give up on your days of breaking. IT IS FOR A PURPOSE. It will be painful. But remember, there will be something beautiful found in the ashes.

Peace.

If you would like to read more on this topic and others like it, check out my book:

https://amzn.to/3NZW

Compelled by Compassion

The earthquake in Turkey and Syria has left, at last count, more than 6,000 dead and 12,000 injured. The numbers may be 5 times that in a few days. Those who have not left the earthquake zone are living in the streets because it is unsafe to go back in their homes. It’s winter and in many places there is snow on the ground. They are without clothes, shelter, food, and heat. They are also without parents, children, and other loved ones. Words cannot come close to describing the trauma and pain.

When tragedy strikes, we are left without direction, without understanding, and many times, without hope. It’s in moments like this that compassionate people rise to the call and run toward the fire.

On ten separate occasions the Bible mentions how Jesus was “moved by compassion.” In Psalm 34:18 it says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” We are called to the hurting, the displaced and those that are crushed and shattered. If Jesus is compelled by compassion, then so should we.

Michelle and I, and many of you, know what it’s like to be broken, crushed, and shattered. We may not understand the reasons, but we understand the pain. Who better to offer a solution than those of us who have walked that journey? But, we have to believe it ourselves. We have to believe that HE is the solution to tragedy, pain, and unexplained loss.

When we begin to fully understand God is truly for us and NOT against us, we can believe He will use our worst moments to make them our greatest victories – and He will use us to point others to their victory!

A.W. Tozer in his book The Crucified Life wrote, “If we understand that everything happening to us is to make us more Christlike, it will solve a great deal of anxiety in our lives.”[i]

EVERYTHING. He uses everything to make us more like Him! He is for you, He is not against you! He will take your victories, tragedy, pain, your broken heart, and your disappointments, and He will use them to create something stunningly beautiful. And why wouldn’t He?

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?”  (Romans 8:31-32 ESV)

We’ve got to get this in us…God went to the deepest depths possible to make certain that we could be in fellowship with Him. This understanding needs to be the very air we breathe. When God’s ultimate sacrifice of His Son for our victory becomes our focus, the tragedies of life become a strong foundation (as opposed to a weight around our necks) our Heavenly Father can build His house upon. 

Bill Johnson, pastor and author of God is Good: He’s Better Than You Think, says, “We don’t have the capacity to exaggerate God’s goodness. We can distort it, or even misrepresent it, but we can never exaggerate it.” [ii]

Regardless of our emotions, we must incorporate that statement into our belief system. It must become our worldview, our overriding perspective on everything we encounter and struggle through. It’s the only way we can keep from misrepresenting and underestimating His goodness.

Pastor and best-selling author, Myles Monroe, said, “Your faith is only as strong as the crisis it survives.”[iii] This is a foundational truth. The size of the crisis will always uncover the depths of your faith.

In the middle of a tragedy, disappointment, or personal failure, we keep our faith by knowing who He is and His plans and purposes for us are good, better than we think. When we do this in the midst of our pain and hold on to our faith, then, when prayers seem to go unanswered (as in our story with the loss of our daughter Aly), we do not stay crushed and shattered. Instead, we move into another level of faith, understanding, and commitment, knowing His purpose will be fulfilled. We pray with increased passion and fervor, and we do not let the enemy win through disappointment, discouragement, and despair.

One of my all-time favorite passages (I say that about a lot of verses. because they’re all so very good!) is 2 Corinthians 4: 6-12 ESV:

“6 For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. 7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. 11 For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So death is at work in us, but life in you.”

God’s goodness is not based on our circumstances. His goodness is based on the fact that while death may be at work in us and our situations, the resurrection life of Jesus Christ is actually IN US! So even in our affliction and pain, we are not crushed. Though we may be confused or perplexed, we are not driven to discouragement or despair. When we feel lost, attacked, or struck down, we are not forgotten, forsaken, or destroyed.

His goodness is best seen and understood when His light shines out of our darkness.

We are carriers of HIS compassion to this world!

Peace.

If you would like to read more on this topic and others like it, check out my book:

https://amzn.to/3NZWKRg

[i] Tozer, A.W. The Crucified Life. Bloomington: Bethany House Publisher, 2011.

[ii] Johnson, Bill. God is Good: He’s Better Than You Think. Shippensburg: Destiny Image, 2016.

[iii] Munroe, Myles. Overcoming Crisis. Destiny Image, 2009.

I Still Cry

I still cry. I’m not talking about a tear rolling down my cheek every so often, I’m talking about the screaming into the pillow, red-faced, snot-dripping-on-the-floor kind of crying. Oh sure, it’s not every day like that first year after our daughter passed away, but it still hits me from time to time like a massive crashing wave against the rocks.

We’ve all heard the statement, “time heals all wounds.” For the first year or so, I held on to that misconception like a drowning man on a sinking ship. I’ve come to realize that there is very little truth to that ancient proverb. If not properly managed and treated, wounds can kill…over time.

I’m learning that our healing from pain and disappointment depends greatly on where we are dwelling.

There is a fine line between remembering and dwelling. Yes, I absolutely must take time to remember Aly—who she was, what she did and the joy she took in living life and loving people. There is healing in that. However, I cannot allow myself to camp or dwell there.

A “dwelling” is a place where we live. So, when we use “dwell” in reference to our thoughts, we are literally talking about places where we choose to live in our minds and emotions.

When I dwell on my circumstances, struggles, or pain, I give Satan an opportunity to pull me into the depths of grief and lock me into a room of despair, discouragement, pain, and self-loathing. Make no mistake, it will become my home; a place where I live, breathe, eat, and sleep. It actually will become more like a prison cell, a place that is difficult to escape.

Several years ago some things happened in one of our close ministry relationships. Without going into detail, the relationship was broken and it left us reeling. We were completely caught off guard by the circumstances, and it hurt deeply.

We never had really walked through this level of broken relationship before, and we handled it poorly. We allowed offense to set in and we began to dwell on the situation. It consumed everything—our thoughts, our conversations, our family, even our marriage. It took us several years to get through that completely, because we set up camp, making the problem and resulting pain our home. It locked us in a prison cell, and almost destroyed our marriage and our ministry. It wasn’t the broken relationship that did that, rather, it was because we couldn’t release it to God. It was more than we could handle, so we shouldn’t have tried. Instead, we made it our dwelling place.

John 15 is the well-known chapter about the vine and the vine dresser. In verses 4 – 10 Jesus talks to His disciples about “abiding in Him.”

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.” (John 15:4 ESV)

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.” (John 15: 9-10 ESV)

The word John chooses to use here for “abide” is the Greek word meno. It means “to stay in a given place, remain, dwell.” It’s where we live, where we take up residence.

Jesus is telling His disciples that in order to have fruitful, productive lives for the Kingdom of God, they must find their permanence in Him.

He must be their dwelling place.

The message is obviously not just for the twelve disciples. He’s speaking to any of us who call ourselves followers of Jesus. Our dwelling place should be in Him. Our thoughts, emotions, plans, hurts, and disappointments…everything must be in Him, given to Him.

These are some of the Lord’s final words to His followers, His friends. He is about to leave them and He needs them to understand a few very important things. One of the most important issues He chooses to discuss is this command to “abide.” The importance of this discussion was lost on the disciples in that moment, but Jesus knew they would need these words to get through the “shattering” that was coming.

To put an exclamation point on His words, He concludes the discussion about abiding with this: “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.” (John 15:11 NKJV)

Did you see that? “…that my joy may remain in you….” It’s that word meno again. “That my joy may ABIDE/DWELL in you.” The promise is when we abide or dwell in Him, His joy will then live and dwell in us!

Now, consider that statement in relationship to the verse in James 1, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds….” How do we count it all joy? By abiding in Him! By dwelling on Him and His goodness, His joy lives in us! Notice He didn’t say “…so that your problems will go away” or “…so that people will treat you better.” He said, “…that your joy may be full.” It’s not the temporal joy you have when your problems disappear, it’s the eternal joy always with you, in the good times and in the middle of the storm. When He takes up residence in our lives, so does His joy. You get the fullness of who He is: Love. Joy. Peace.

Yes, I still cry. Yes, I’m still shattered by the events of the last 3 years. BUT, I’m growing and maturing. The pain and disappointment may never go away, but God is developing a strength in me to carry these things as I continue to make His presence my home…my dwelling place.

He will do the same in you. He loves you and is FOR you. Think about that – the Creator of the universe is FOR YOU!

…and it’s ok to cry.

Peace.

Journeys, difficulties, and Destinations

My journey with the Lord began when I was seven years old. I remember the day and I remember being baptized in the little Baptist church in Midland, Texas. As I grew older, I also grew away from the Lord. After graduating high school, I couldn’t wait to get out of my parents house and make my own decisions. Those decisions led me to some very dark places. One morning, while I was on Christmas vacation and staying with my parents, God broke through to my heart. In a moment of despair, grief, and conviction, I made a deal with God. A bargain, so to speak. I told God, “If you will give me a ‘reset’ and help me find solid footing again, I will give you my life.” I had no idea, in that moment, what that “deal” was going to cost me.

Like so many of us, I made a deal with God because I wanted a better life. The conviction of the Holy Spirit brought me to that place, but my understanding of what I was asking was drastically lacking. Yet, in HIS infinite wisdom, He led me in my ignorance because I was sincere in my promise.

God’s leading is an interesting study. They say hindsight is 20/20, and I must agree. Even through my missteps, foolish decisions, and lack of faith, He has led – every.step.of.the.way.

Even after making the commitment to follow Jesus and turn my life around, I still struggled with old sins and decisions. I had one foot on each side of the proverbial fence, as they say. One weekend, we had a team coming from Youth With A Mission (YWAM) to our church. One of the team members would be staying at our house. My mom desperately wanted me to be there. However, I had decided to go skiing that weekend. I was going to leave after work on Friday, and return late Sunday night. I would have missed the team entirely. Surprisingly, after I came home from work, I got sick…fever, throwing up…everything. I was a wreck, so I went to bed, but I was not to be deterred. The next morning, I was up early and feeling better. I made breakfast and started packing my car…and then I threw up all over the garage. Evidently God had other plans – plans that would ultimately change the trajectory of my entire life.

That weekend was life altering. I spent a great deal of time with the team (I had miraculously recovered later that morning from my illness…imagine that) and the impact they had on my life cannot be measured in words. The next Spring, I was at YWAM in Tyler, TX doing a Discipleship Training School (DTS) and my life was forever changed. I spent the next 5 years with YWAM, growing in faith and growing in a calling I had never even considered.

While all of this was happening, my wife was at college in Arkansas. She could have easily ended up in California, but her aunt and uncle had moved from Los Angeles to Arkansas, so she ultimately decided she wanted to be close to family (her mom and dad were living in Germany where Michelle grew up). If she had not decided to move to Arkansas, she would not have been at the job fair the University of Central Arkansas that eventually sent her to Midland, Texas, my hometown, where she became friends with my mom and my sister and, eventually, became my wife.

Of course, that is far from the end of the story. We moved to Turkey, where we lived for 16 years pastoring an amazing church. Our children had the amazing opportunity to grow up in a different culture, giving them a unique view of the world. Michelle and I have been graced with amazing relationships that we would never have had otherwise…lifelong friends and ministry partners. We’ve also had to overcome unbelievable obstacles, hardships, disappointments, broken relationships, pain, and grief. It hasn’t all been sunshine and roses. It’s been hard.

In the process, we’ve had to process some very difficult misconceptions of what it means to follow Jesus.

Paul writes in his letter to the Romans,

“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:3-5 ESV)

These are not simple occurrences Paul refers to in this passage. He’s talking about a journey. These are valleys walked through, mountains climbed, and oceans crossed. It’s “where the rubber meets the road.”  It is a journey. Endurance, character, and hope are developed over the course of a lifetime, not in a day or an instant. It’s the journey of the Cross.

Michelle and I would never have been able to handle the extreme grief of losing a child if we had not already walked through valleys, mountains, and oceans of disappointment. God began to build a foundation in our lives years ago as we slowly learned to fully trust Him when things seemed to be falling apart. The reality is grief and disappointment don’t get smaller, it’s just we get bigger as we journey through life and learn to trust the Lord.

The word Paul uses for “produces” in Romans 5 is the Greek word katergazomai. It means to “work fully” or “work out.” It’s interesting because Paul uses the same word in a letter to the Philippians.

“12 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling,13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” (Philippians 2:12-13 ESV)

Once again, Paul is discussing a journey of faithfulness. He says to obey, not only in His presence, but also in His absence. In other words, always. It is a process of working out our character and our commitment to the cause of Christ; a journey of discipleship and becoming true followers of Jesus. We didn’t reach our destination with a heartfelt prayer of repentance on that wonderful day when we gave our lives to Christ. Rather, we began a journey toward a destination of fellowship and intimacy with our Heavenly Father, which sets us on a journey of faithfulness through consistent obedience.

The journey is important because it’s when our character is developed and worked out that we can withstand the storms and disappointments of life, stay the course, and finish well.

It’s when our character is developed that we can rise from our grief, our loss, and even our failures and press on toward the destination Christ has for us. Without character being developed and tested within us, as the Scriptures say, we become people tossed to and fro by every wave (Ephesians 4:14 ESV).

Without endurance producing character, hope has no place to grow. Producing hope in our lives is a process birthed during the journey. Solomon penned it best when he wrote, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick….” (Proverbs 13:12a ESV) We need hope, but it is only developed through endurance and character, otherwise it’s just a “wish,” something with no foundation, function, or substance.

So how do we get from the pit of despair to a place of hope? How do we move from simple obedience driven by our emotions and circumstances to a lifestyle of faithfulness that is a stalwart against the storms?

One of the first things we must do is to align our expectations to His truth. Remember? It’s what James was trying to say in James 1:2, “Consider it nothing but joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you fall into various trials.”

He was trying to set our expectations in alignment with the truth of God’s Word. Deciding to follow Christ is not an invitation to a life without problems, pain, and suffering. It’s an invitation to a life that is still battered, broken, and bruised, but full of love, peace, and joy. It’s a victorious life in the midst of the storms! That’s why we do as James said and “consider it ALL joy….”

Because “…we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28 ESV)

So, the destination matters and especially how we arrive there. The journey and the destination are equally important. I used to think the journey included a few mountains and valleys and a lot of wide-open plains, where we work and run our race. What I failed to understand is there are also oceans to cross. The mountains can be discouraging just because of their overwhelming size, how they take over the entire landscape, and the closer we get to them, the larger they seem (finances, relationships, and dreams bigger than our abilities).

When we are in the valley, it’s easy to get lost and give up hope when we can’t see the forest for all the trees (failures, insecurities, and uncertainties). The oceans however, can drown us in despair, depression, disappointment, and grief.

The thing about the oceans is we have nothing solid under our feet. We feel helpless against the wind and waves. It was where the disciples found themselves on a few occasions. Yet, we watch as Peter steps out of the boat, and finds, for a moment of incredible faith, solid footing. It was in the midst of a fierce storm, one that saw veteran fishermen afraid for their lives, that Peter walked on water. We can, too. 

God did not calm the sea before calling Peter out of the boat. Peter stepped out anyway. Sometimes it’s the Jesus IN the storm that we need when our faith begins to fail.

This is what the journey will teach us, and that is what our Heavenly Father wants us to do. We are called to walk on water in the midst of the storm, not only after Jesus calms them.

Crossing this ocean of grief and disappointment tried to destroy our family. At times, we felt we were drowning in the endless depths of pain.

On top of that, I was “spitting mad.”

For twenty-two years, I prayed the Lord would keep my family—my wife and kids—safe. It was a selfish prayer to keep me from disappointment and pain. When we lost Aly, I was furious with God because He didn’t honor what I felt was a negotiated agreement: I sacrifice my life for His kingdom and He protects my family.

From my pain-filled perspective, He didn’t keep His side of the agreement, and I was mad about that. However, if I really wanted to go down that road, what I actually negotiated or bargained for, on that day thirty years ago, was a cross. On that cross, I gave my life and all it represents, including my family.

When Michelle and I agreed to follow Jesus, we took up His cross, His suffering, and His sacrifice. The promise was the power of His resurrection! You can’t share in His resurrection without sharing in His sufferings and sacrifices. That was the actual bargain.

So, with that “higher” perspective in place, how do we make the transition? How do we get from where we’ve been to where we need to be? How do we walk on water?

For me, I’m no longer praying for safety to be among my highest desires for my family. Instead, I’m praying they will be drawn into relationship with our Heavenly Father. No matter how long or short their lives may be, my hope and prayer is that, like Aly, they will have an encounter with the Father that radically alters the trajectory of their lives.

This change in perspective only happens when we begin to align our expectations with His plan and purpose. If your expectations are to live a happy life and enjoy the freedoms given you, then you are missing the entire plan of God. If that is your perspective, when a storm threatens to overturn your boat, the last thing you’re going to have faith for is walking on water.

He has given us a mandate for our time here on this planet. His mandate is to “proclaim this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give.'”  (Matthew 10:7-8 NIV)

And:

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:19-20 ESV)

This message is not simply for those who have been “called.” It’s for everyone who has answered “THE call” to be followers of Jesus Christ. There are no exceptions. It is how we are to live our lives; it is our purpose, our mandate. As followers and Disciples of Christ, we have all been called to walk on water!

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:12-14 ESV)

One of my heroes of the faith is missionary and martyr for Christ, Jim Elliot. I’m on the path I’m on today because of the example of his life recklessly given to the advancement of the Kingdom of God. He had a single focus and a determination to fulfill God’s mandate. He gave his life for that cause at an early age.

We refer to him and others like him as “exceptional, unique, and special.” He would disagree. He was simply living the life laid out in the Word of God as representing a follower of Jesus. To Jim Elliot, he was living a normal life, not a unique one. He was able to walk that mandate out because he set his expectations on Christ and His upward call.

He shared his perspective on the life of a Christian in a letter to his future wife, Elisabeth Elliot:

“Dearest Betty, ‘We are the sheep of His pasture. Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise.’ And what are the sheep doing going into the gate? What is their purpose inside those courts? To bleat melodies and enjoy the company of the flock? No. Those sheep were destined for the altar. Their pasture feeding had been for one purpose, to test them and fatten them for bloody sacrifice. Give Him thanks, then, that you have been counted worthy of His altars. Enter into the work with praise.”[i]

Mark Batterson, lead pastor of National Community Church in Washington, DC, in his book Not Safe: Discovering God’s Dangerous Plan for Your Life, put it this way:

“Jesus didn’t die to keep us safe. He died to make us dangerous. Faithfulness is not holding the fort. It’s storming the gates of hell. The will of God is not an insurance plan. It’s a daring plan. The complete surrender of your life to the cause of Christ isn’t radical. It’s normal. It’s time to quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death.”[ii]

We are here for a purpose, and it’s not to build our careers and our portfolio or to provide a good, safe life for our children so they can simply repeat everything we’ve done (or not done).

While there is nothing wrong with having a career, being financially stable, and desiring safety for our family, they cannot become our destination or our purpose, or be an obstacle or distraction to it. We’re here, for a short period of time, to make a difference, an eternal impact in the kingdom, to be dangerous to the kingdom of darkness, and to train our children to be even more so…another generation that stands on our shoulders because they’ve watched us give our all for the kingdom. When we begin to reconcile these things to how we live, our expectations fall into alignment with His will.

Over time, disappointments don’t carry the weight they once did. We’ve grown and learned to get out of the boat and to walk on water. Sometimes we look a little like Peter and sink as soon as we take our eyes off of Jesus. What’s important though, is we are getting out of the boat, that place of security and comfort, stepping out in faith even though we can’t see the bottom.

When we have our eyes set on Him, we adjust our expectations accordingly, and they are no longer based on our circumstances or what we can or cannot do in and of ourselves. Our expectations are squarely placed in His arms. This is where we find the victory in what looked like defeat.

I get it. It seems impossible to find joy and peace in suffering and pain when our expectations and beliefs convince us it’s not supposed to be this way.

Don’t get me wrong, even when our expectations are set properly and in alignment with Christ, pain is still pain, and it hurts like hell. Being in proper alignment, however, enables us to find the path moving forward—the one that will take us through the shadow of the valley of death and deliver us into the shadow of His wings because we understand His purposes, and that becomes enough.

Peace.

[i] Elliot, Elisabeth. Shadow of the Almighty. New York: HarperCollins, 2009.

[ii] Batterson, Mark. Going All In. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2013.