Mark Messmore's Blog, page 4

Three Tips to Keep Your Audience Engaged

It is difficult to keep an audience engaged.

You might have the most charismatic personality, the best slide deck, and the greatest passion for your topic of anyone on earth. However, if your audience of 12 people or 1200 people disengages, you will find yourself speaking to a room of people who are fiddling on their phones. So what can you, when delivering a lesson, speech, sermon, or talk do to keep an audience engaged?

Today I have three tips to offer in a desire to help you as you craft your next presentation.

TIP #1: FOCUS ON THE FIRST THREE MINUTES

One of the fundamental questions presenters need to know is, “How long do I have?” The preparation for a ten-minute presentation is likely to look quite different than for a 45-minute presentation. One of the best steps you can take as a presenter is to focus on those first three minutes.

In those first minutes, your audience is sizing up (consciously or unconsciously) what they think about you. More importantly, they are making an early decision about whether they should give the time and effort to listen.

Yet, despite this, many presenters spend a majority of their first three minutes thanking the organization, remarking about the facilities, or listing their own accomplishments. Sure, you can do those things, but weave them into parts later in your talk. Focus on, even memorize, those first three minutes for the opportunity to make the greatest impact.

TIP #2: FIGURE OUT WHY THEY SHOULD CARE

One mistake many presenters make is assuming the audience cares about what they have to say.

Clergy tend to be particularly guilty of this. We assume that because our messages stem from our sacred texts everyone in the seats is anxious to hear us speak. Yes, personal relationship or a celebrity reputation may push some audience members to listen anyway, but assuming your audience is clamoring for you to speak is a mistake.

Instead, do the hard work of identifying, or developing a beginning to help your audience immediately connect why a talk will matter to them. Here are some examples:

A politician may begin a speech identifying the struggles and pain points of their community in order to confirm a common understanding.A history teacher may stoke curiosity by asking, “Why do you think the capital of the US is in Washington DC rather than the middle of the country (e.g. St. Louis) or the largest city (e.g. New York)?”A pastor may start a message on Jesus feeding the 5000 from John 6 by asking, “Have you ever felt like you had very little to offer?” Then, connect how a little boy gave five loaves and two fish to Jesus.

 

TIP #3: FIND WAYS TO ENGAGE THE AUDIENCE

Many presentations could happen in an empty room. Why? Because the presenter never engages the audience.

While not mandatory, engaging the audience helps remind them that you know they are there. Your audience, then, knows that you’re not just speaking to an empty room, but aiming to communicate with them. Here are some simple ways to do this:

Ask questions. Simple questions asking for audience response help keep your audience from tuning out. For example, “Ok…how many of you grew up calling these bugs fireflies? How many of you called them lightning bugs?”Call and response:  Have the audience repeat after you. Use a phrase multiple times throughout your talk and begin to have them fill in the blanks. Even something as simple as having them complete a well-known nursery rhyme or song can work.Tell a story: More on this some other time, but a story, especially a personal one, is a great way to provide breathing room in a presentation. This helps your talk be more enjoyable and helps re-engage any who have disconnected in the past few minutes.

 

There are many more ways, but those are the top three I want to offer. What tips do you have for keeping an audience engaged?

How to Kill the Impact of Your Presentation

It is perfectly fine to want to do a good job delivering a sermon, speech, lesson, or talk. Whether we admit it or not, we all enjoy getting a pat on the back following a presentation that we have put time, energy, and effort into. And, I want to make sure this is clear, it is entirely ok to want the results of your presentation to leave your audience feeling inspired, informed, or even intrigued.

But, can I tell you a little secret?

The lights, stage, attentive audience…it can all be quite addicting. There can be a certain rush of excitement or a sense of exhilaration leaving the stage to applause, or the confidence of a job well done. Even those carrying out the sacred act of preaching can begin to become enamored with their own results. Without realizing it, any presenter can begin to care more about how they are perceived than the IMPACT of the message they aim to bring.

A few weeks ago, I published a post called Identifying Your MAP. Like the acronym’s namesake, the MAP exercise is designed to help you, the presenter, determine your destination and begin to plot a course about how to get there. Yet while your Message is likely to be established in advance, and your Audience will consist of whoever takes the time to pay attention, your Purpose can unwittingly shift away from a desire to educate, motivate or persuade and toward a desire to leave the audience solely impressed with you, the presenter.

And sure, there are some who may give you the standing ovation or the rousing commendations following the event. But, I ask you, fellow presenter, are you more concerned with the audience’s response to you, or your message?

Is this presentation simply a career step so you can show everyone how amazing you are, or do you have a message that means something to you? Do you want the result to be your audience feeling educated, motivated, or persuaded? If so, you must consistently measure your motives and approach. There may even come a point when you need to ask a trusted friend to ensure you don’t become enamored with your own abilities.

Please, ENJOY the compliments and pats on the back. Take a deep breath when the audience applauds you, and enjoy the response to your hours of hard work. Just be cautious that the applause and compliments never become your purpose.

That will be a quick way to kill the impact of your presentation.

Your Audience is Rooting For You

You may assume otherwise, but I want to make you aware of an important reality. Your audience WANTS you to succeed in your presentation, talk, or sermon.

At least, I can confidently say that 95% of your audience will want you to succeed. That other five percent? I’ll discuss them more in a minute.

I recognize that may seem like a bold claim, but I stand by it. And my reasoning is likely so obvious you simply have not considered it. No one WANTS to sit through a poorly-given, boring, or irrelevant presentation.

Consider your own motivations for a moment. Imagine you have to pick between one of three talks. Each speaker will be knowledgeable in their field and all the talks will be exactly the same length.

Speaker A‘s talk will be bursting with information but the presenter will speak in highly technical language that you cannot understand.Speaker B will be totally understandable but they will read from their slides in a monotone fashion without engaging or even acknowledging the audience.Speaker C‘s presentation will be simpler, with language not as technical as Speaker A’s and not have as smooth a delivery as Speaker B, but you will leave informed and motivated to act.

I recognize that subject matter, your knowledge of the presenter, and more might impact your decision. However, presented in a vacuum, which would you choose?

Your audience values their time. Your audience wants to feel like the minutes they spend hearing your voice are minutes that inform or inspire them. Your audience wants to leave with something to talk about.

And I want that to encourage you.

I want you to recognize that it’s ok if you stumble over your words a bit and admit to your audience that you’re nervous. Your audience is likely to forgive you because they are rooting for you to do well. It’s ok if the slide does not appear at the *precise* moment you asked for it. Your audience is pulling for you and wants you to do well.

Yes, I recognize there are specific examples when you are speaking to a primarily unfriendly audience. However, if you present with any frequency, you will quickly learn that most audiences are likely to give a lot of grace if they know you are prepared, know you are trying to do your best, and know you stand by what you present.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT OTHER FIVE PERCENT?

While a vast majority of the audience will be pulling for you, there may be those who will be rooting for you to fail. Typically, these are people who have vendettas against you, your organization, or the topic you are speaking about.

For example, I’m a pastor. On a weekly basis, I have the opportunity to preach to hundreds from the Bible. Yet I recognize that there may be some in the audience who are antagonistic toward my faith. Perhaps they were unwillingly brought by their family, or perhaps they came hoping to catch me slip up somehow.

How do we respond when some of our audience is hoping we fail?

The answer is straightforward, but sometimes not simple. Focus on those who want you to succeed, not on those who want you to fail.

Those who want you to fail likely will be unconvinced by anything you say or do. Those who want you to fail will likely take any minor verbal slip and print it on a billboard. You are highly unlikely to change their minds and hearts toward you. So don’t waste energy trying to do so.

Instead, recognize those in your audience who want you to succeed. Recognize those who are pulling and rooting for you. Recognize those who sat down hoping to be informed or inspired and speak to them.

Identifying Your MAP

What is the worst presentation you have ever sat through?

Even if you are not able to pin down a specific example, chances are good you can recall a variety of less-than-exciting presentations you have experienced. Yet, there are various reasons the sales pitch, sermon, talk or lesson was underwhelming. Perhaps the politician was unprepared. Maybe the professor seemed interested in just filling the time. Or perhaps the pastor was passionate but did not feel connected at all to the realities of your life.

From preparation to engagement to application, public speaking is a challenging experience. As a pastor, I’m privileged to present nearly every week to several hundred people. This is the type of opportunity lots of city mayors would love to have. Yes, I have a different type of relationship with my audience, yet many principles carry over whether you are preaching a sermon, giving a speech to your local Kiwanis club, or trying to inform a room of leaders about the purpose of your non-profit.

All this leads me to the question I want to ask you today: what can you do so that your speech/talk/lesson or sermon gives you LESS STRESS and yet has MORE IMPACT?

That all begins with identifying your MAP. Like pulling up the Maps app on your phone or opening an old-school road atlas, a map helps you get from where you are to where you want to be. For our purposes, however, the MAP includes three elements: the message, audience, and purpose. These three pieces of the MAP are not necessarily determined in order, but instead, synergize alongside one another to help you determine where, and how, this talk will develop.

MESSAGE

If preaching, you may have a topic or text in mind that helps you identify your starting point. However, if speaking to a civic organization or making a sales pitch to a company that message will change. So, in short, what are you going to talk about? Were you given a topic to present?  Do you have free reign for 30 minutes to discuss whatever you want? In a few sentences, what is the content that will make up your presentation?

AUDIENCE

Far too many talks fall flat because the presenter does not design the talk with the audience in mind. For example, imagine you are a race car driver who will be giving a 20-minute talk to an audience of 100. The talk will look incredibly different if the audience consists of auto mechanics versus if it consists of elementary students. If you are uncertain about your audience, reach out to your contact to gather information about your audience’s age, familiarity with the topic, and more.

PURPOSE

One of my favorite Zig Ziglar quotes is, “If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.” For many, their sole purpose in a talk is to just survive and fill the time. However, if you want to give your talk the best opportunity to have an impact, there must be a bigger purpose that drives you.

The three most common purposes are Education, Motivation, and Persuasion. Therefore, to set your talk up for impact, you need to clarify your purpose at the outset.

Yes, these are just a few introductory steps in giving an impactful talk. Yet, this MAP helps get you started from where you are to where you want to finish.

Three Benefits When Your Church Has More Voices Than Just The Pastor

Post image taken February 29, 2012. Courtesy of the Redemption Christian Church Facebook page.

My first located ministry was in Jasper, Indiana. I was hired as the Associate Minister at, what was the time, Christian Church of Jasper (now Redemption Christian Church). After struggling for years to even receive an interview with any local church, I was hired to oversee small groups, discipleship, and more. Part of that “and more” included fulfilling preaching duties one-third of the time.

Darrel, the founding and Lead Pastor, had witnessed tremendous benefits in churches where multiple individuals took turns preaching. In this context, he wanted to use a similar approach. And while this model was foreign to me, I was stoked to be entrusted with such an important task, and a task that I absolutely loved.

There are many growing pains and potential hurdles to figure out if you make this shift. Yet, I became a staunch advocate for how valuable a team-style approach can be for preaching.

In this post, I would like to share with you just three benefits that can develop when more than one person has a turn in the pulpit. While implementation of such a model may take some time in your context. I believe such an approach can demonstrate similar benefits in your church as well.

This Model Helps Fulfill a Command of Scripture

In Paul’s letter to the church at Ephesus, he lays out the expectation of those leading the local church. In Ephesians 4:11-13 we read:

So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.”

To say it another way, the job of the leaders is to equip people to serve as they are gifted. In this way, the church helps those men and women grow in their own faith, and then in turn allows them to pour into others.

I love to preach. In fact, whether one-on-one or in front of thousands, I love to open up God’s Word and help others understand and apply what it says. Yet, if I am the only one considered qualified for such a task, what happens to the church if I end up in the hospital? What happens to those with potential talents for preaching and teaching?

Their talents would go uncultivated and, worst of all, I will have failed to do as God’s Word commands.

To be clear, I am not suggesting you should not toss just anyone on stage without preparing them. I would expect anyone who stands up to preach to have some modicum of training. However, whether due to ego, insecurity, or omission, far too many pastors fail to raise up others and just do it themselves.

By making this an intentional element of your ministry, you naturally empower others to minister as they are gifted.

The Congregation Can Grow By Hearing From Others

Recently, I came across this article where users who had won some form of “lifetime supply” were asked to tell about their experiences. From toilet paper to Oreos and more, users discussed what it was like to have a seemingly endless supply of one particular thing.

One common theme, however, was how tired the winners became of whatever they won (toilet paper notwithstanding). Entry 15 in the article, speaks of a girl who won thousands of packs of a certain type of gum. Today, years later, the mere sight of that chewing gum makes her sick.

I’m not suggesting that any church is sick of their pastor’s preaching, though there may be some truth to that. What I am pointing out, however, is the benefit that can be found in hearing from others.

Whether you like the reality or not, having someone else in the preaching rotation offers the congregation variety.

Perhaps this person has a different style or a different take on Scripture. Maybe this person has a story that can really resonate with the church.  Regardless of whether the other speakers are other staff members, missionaries supported by the church, or other church leaders, there is tremendous benefit in your church hearing other voices.

The Pastor Has The Opportunity to Take a Breath

Statistics indicate that pastoral burnout is raging among churches of all sizes and types. While I know that preaching is not the only task for a pastor, it undoubtedly takes a lot of time to prepare a sermon on a weekly basis.

What if, occasionally, you had the opportunity to focus on other ministry tasks? What if, on a Sunday morning, you had a chance to sit through the message with your family? What if you built a rhythm that allowed you to step in after a week off with a renewed spark to preach?

Yes, I realize there may be lots of resistance to this idea. In fact, I discussed quite a few points of tension in part two of “How to Get A Sunday Without Preaching.” However, fellow preacher, the work of ministry is a marathon. If you do not occasionally take a drink and catch your breath, you are more likely to become a statistic.

So what did I miss? What are other benefits you find of having other voices speak from the stage? I’d love to hear!

You don’t have to know it all to share what you do know.

As you may be aware, I have written a couple of books on preaching. However, there is a secret about me, that I really wish were not true.

Ready for it? Are you sitting down? Ok…*deep breath*…here goes…

I do not know everything there is to know about preaching.

Ok, I admit you probably already knew that. However, I mention this because there is a weird dynamic in the arenas of writing, speaking, coaching, or anywhere one person might try to teach someone else. The dynamic, whether expressed or implied, is that in order to teach you need to be an expert.

For many, myself very much included, this shows up in what is called “imposter syndrome.” The gist of imposter syndrome, if you’re unaware, is the inner voice that says things like:

Who do you think you are to write about this? There are dozens, hundreds, even THOUSANDS of others out there who know this information better, are more successful, and could teach more impactfully than you. What gives you the right to think you know enough about any of this to try and teach other people how to do it? If people knew how clueless you really were, no one would give you the time of day.”

For some, your imposter syndrome will show up in subtle ways, leading you to not speak up in a group or write down your thoughts for anyone else to see. For others, the above dialog is just the surface of the messages you hear your inner voice speak back to you every day.

However, the inner struggle with imposter syndrome is not the only way these types of messages show up. There are others, often filled with angst themselves, who love to sit on the outside and criticize those who attempt to step out from the crowd.

It’s the co-worker who whispers statements like, “Who does he think he is?” when a colleague steps forward to take on a challenging assignment. It’s the social media posts where users can pelt insults from afar at the coach, teacher, speaker, or leader who had the courage to step beyond their comfort zone. It’s found in the sense of superiority from those in the crowd who feel they know more than the one standing on the stage.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I’m not suggesting we dismiss incompetence among those who just wish to have a platform. What I am advocating for, however, is a change in attitude among ourselves and toward others. A statement I’ve had to repeat in my own life, often daily, is, “you don’t have to know it all to share what you do know.”

The featured image is an example of when I decided to live this out.

Given I am a preacher, speaking in front of others is common for me. However, this image reflects a talk I gave about a programming design framework…to a room full of programmers.

Again…I’m a preacher. I’m trained to exegete Biblical passages and communicate what is there. Yet several years ago I decided to pick up the topic of programming as a hobby. And, to this day, it’s a hobby I enjoy. In fact, my site is one that I did by hand myself. However, that is a far cry from the years of expertise sitting in that room. And, while the talk was admittedly not great, those in attendance were kind and attentive. While anyone in that room could have programmed circles around me, this niche design framework was something I knew a little bit more about.

In other words, I did not know everything. Heck, I barely knew anything. But I decided to pass on what I did know.

A Scriptural Ideal

One of my favorite passages in the entire New Testament speaks about this very topic.

In 2 Timothy 2:2, we read, “And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others.” Paul, who knew plenty and had a great theological education, implored Timothy to pass on what he had heard and what he did know. Paul wasn’t demanding Timothy dedicate eight years to study before teaching anyone else. Paul wanted Timothy to identify qualified individuals and pour into those people as Paul had poured into him.

What would it look like, in both religious and personal contexts, if instead of convincing yourself that you needed some level of professional or educational status, you decided to openly share what you DO know?

Would you write a book on forgiveness in relationships, even though you don’t have a Ph.D. in counseling?

Would you speak out about the plight of refugees around the world, even if you still have a lot to learn about international law?

Would you volunteer to train those learning English as a second language, even if you don’t have an English or teaching degree?

Would you share what you know about following Jesus, even if you cannot answer every question about the Bible?

There is a lot I don’t know about preaching. There is also a lot I don’t know about the Bible, public speaking, writing, leadership, parenting, marriage, home improvement, automotive maintenance, graphic design, marketing, environmental science, and much, MUCH more. However, I have decided that it’s not important to know everything about any one of those topics. What is important, to me and many others, is instead sharing what I DO know.

Solitude vs. Isolation

Can you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

How about the difference between a mule and a donkey?

Do you know at what point a storm shifts from being a tropical depression to a tropical storm? When, then, does it become a hurricane?

Yes, all of the above questions have answers. You may know the answers off the top of your head, but even if you don’t, you can find them with a few keystrokes and a couple of clicks. Yet with any of these, at first glance, it can be hard to tell the difference.

That is also the case for two concepts I am writing about today. These practices are ones that, even if they resemble one another from the outside, are significantly different.

I am talking about the difference between solitude and isolation.

What’s the Difference?

From an outside perspective, the ideas of solitude and isolation may appear to be the same.  In fact, I would not blame you if you had trouble defining the difference between them. In practice, both solitude and isolation will probably result in you being alone, or at least, not interacting with others. Thus, it can be hard to distinguish one from the other.

The difference, however, is quite significant, even if it is challenging to see.

Solitude, properly understood, is a temporary time where you give yourself some space away from the chaos and activity of life. It is this practice of solitude that we see Jesus engage in regularly during his time of ministry (e.g. Luke 5:16). Through solitude, Jesus was able to remove distractions, connect with His Heavenly Father, and prepare for the next phase of ministry that was to come.

Isolation, however, is less like giving yourself space and more like giving up. When we choose to isolate ourselves we’re usually fleeing or hiding from someone or something. At times, we may not even recognize what we are fleeing from is an emotion inside us that we cannot escape. The desire to isolate may be driven by shame, pain, or even fear.

When these ideas are put into practice, we begin to see just how different they are.

The desire for solitude is a desire to disconnect and recharge.
The desire for isolation is a desire to run away and hide.The result of solitude is a renewed sense of desire and energy.
The result of isolation is a stronger desire to detach from others and abdicate responsibilities.Solitude allows you to connect more with God.
Isolation causes you to withdraw, even from God, and can lead to attacks from the enemy (see 1 Peter 5:8).Solitude is designed to be a natural part of the rhythm of life.
Isolation will leave you only wanting to isolate yourself more.A Matter of The Heart

Speaking from experience, it can be challenging to know which of these two I’m moving toward.

Naturally, I’m an introvert (much to the surprise of many). This doesn’t mean I’m anti-people, it just means being around people drains me rather than fills me up. Thus, there are times that I need to disconnect to recharge. I have learned that for me, this is normal and healthy.

However, as I’ve openly written about, I also deal with depression which thrives on isolation. Depression wants me to feel alone and disconnected from everyone else. This is unhealthy and not beneficial in any way.

The difference, for me, ultimately comes down to the disposition of my heart.

Am I trying to escape or recharge? Do I feel an urge to disconnect from others so I can breathe, or a desire to flee from everyone and everything? Sometimes I have to text or call a close friend to process what is going on inside me to help determine my internal motives.

While isolation and solitude look similar from the outside, I hope you can see the benefits of one and the dangers of the other. And, as you navigate these questions in your own life, I hope you can make choices that will lead you to solitude with the Father rather than isolation from everyone and everything you know and love.

My favorite reads from lockdown and beyond

What did you do during lockdown?

This type of sentence would have been incredibly bizarre prior to 2020. However, most of us experienced at least a portion of the COVID-19 pandemic holed up in our homes. And, if social media is accurate in any way, many people used this time to do lots of things.

Some people made entertaining videos. For example, entertainer/impressionist Frank Caliendo made this fun spoof on Avengers: Endgame with his daughter Juliet. Others used their time learning a new language, adopting a new hobby, and even baking bread.

My activities of choice involved picking up running (after a five-year hiatus) and reading. In 2020 (when a majority of my time was spent at home), I completed 60 books. In 2021 I finished 35 books and as of the time of writing, I have completed 26 books in 2022. I have not had any specific goals on how many books to complete, however, I have found a renewed love for reading.

Since I’ve mostly dealt with some heavy topics lately, I figured this week I would ease up a bit and share some of my favorite reads of the last few years. You will find a variety of subjects included and thus, I have tried to categorize and summarize each appropriately.

To see more of what I have read in the last few years, I invite you to follow me on Goodreads. But without further adieu, here are my favorite reads from during lockdown and beyond.

2020

 

Title: Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea
Author: Barbara Demick
Genre: Non-fiction, Political/Sociological
Synopsis: If you have ever wondered what life is like in Communist North Korea, author Demick provides a fascinating insider look from a variety of perspectives.

Title: Red Rising
Author: Pierce Brown
Genre: Fiction, Dystopian World, Class Struggle, Action
Synopsis: While I listed the first book above, it is representative of the entire series. Red Rising is an outstanding piece of fiction that deals with issues of class struggle and political upheaval. It quickly has become one of my favorite sci-fi series.

Title: As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales From The Making of The Princess Bride
Author: Cary Elwes
Genre: Non-Fiction
Synopsis: Fans of the movie The Princess Bride will delight in the stories told by Cary Elwes. If you listen to the audio version, as I did, various cast members were brought in to tell their stories.

2021

Title: Cold-Case Christianity
Author: J. Warner Wallace
Genre: Non-Fiction, Apologetics
Synopsis: Wallace is a cold-case homicide detective and an atheist. Over time he decides to investigate the case of Jesus’s resurrection, leveraging the same tactics he uses in his police work. This is an excellent work of apologetics for any Biblical student.

Title: The Martian
Author: Andy Weir
Genre: Science Fiction, Humor
Synopsis: You may have watched the 2015 movie starring Matt Damon, but have you read the book? Funny, exciting space exploration wrapped up in a story that makes you lose track of time. I enjoy this work so much that I read it nearly every year. I highly, HIGHLY recommend it.

Title: B.L.E.S.S.
Author: Dave & Jon Ferguson
Genre: Nonfiction, Christianity
Synopsis: What does it look like to love your neighbor as Jesus commands? In this book, the Ferguson brothers aim to take the mystery out of that question by providing five simple tactics to use with those around you.

2022

 

Title: Stalled: Hope and Help for Pastors Who Thought They’d Be There By Now
Author: Dale Sellers
Genre: Nonfiction, Christianity, Pastoral Resources
Synopsis: An unintended consequence of celebrating our Megachurches is that sometimes the smaller local church pastors can feel like failures. Sellers speaks from experience as he helps reorient pastors to their calling and purpose. If you would like to know more, I give the book a more full review here.

Title: Reach: Create the Biggest Possible Audience for Your Message, Book or Cause
Author: Becky Robinson
Genre: Nonfiction, Business, Leadership
Synopsis: How do you take your message, book, or cause and invest in such a way as to have a long-term impact? In her book Reach, author Becky Robinson presents four values that must be present to grow your reach. Sound interesting? Read my full review here.

Title: Station Eleven
Author: Emily St. John Mandel
Genre: Fiction, Dystopian World, Survival
Synopsis: After a virus ravages the planet in a matter of weeks, the survivors find themselves navigating new challenges and power structures.

While You’re Here…

If you’ve gone this far, might I encourage you to check out my own book published just this year?

While geared for lay leaders or students who want to preach, Simple Preaching Prep can help you in a myriad of presentation situations.

5 Ways For Churches to Support Their Pastor’s Mental Health Struggles

This post is part of a series focused on mental health in the life of a pastor. 

5 Messages to Pastors Struggling With Their Mental Health

The adage, “You learn more from your failures than your successes.” is a statement often attributed to various authors, leaders, and philosophers of history. Yet, even though we cannot identify the first person to say it, the adage is repeated because of how true it is. In my own life, I can confirm that I am more likely to take the time to reflect and understand what went poorly and what I could have done better after I messed up.

To that end, much of what I am about to share comes from failures. Some of those failures have been my own. Some are from failures that I have witnessed or personally experienced. Yet it is my hope that from these failures, lessons are learned that can aid pastors and churches in navigating the challenges of supporting a pastor who struggles with mental health.

Look at the struggle as a sickness.

As I alluded to in my 5 Messages to Pastors Struggling With Their Mental Health, struggles like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, etc often are viewed differently than, say, a thyroid issue.

Medical tests can typically verify an issue with someone’s leg, stomach, or heart. Yet since mental health primarily deals with thoughts, feelings, and emotions it is often relegated to being a fake disease, not as serious or, “just in someone’s head.”

While I believed mental illness to be very real, I failed to recognize the impact it was having on my day-to-day life. I failed to recognize how this sickness was impacting my family, my church, and more. Furthermore, I did not realize that my own mental health struggles were resulting in additional physical symptoms.

I am not a therapist and cannot diagnose your pastor through a blog post. However, if your goal is to support your pastor who struggles with their own mental illness, then it begins with recognizing their struggle as real. It is a sickness. It is not indicative of moral failure or lack of faith. It can be made worse or better by the steps taken.

Look at your pastor as a person

Perhaps this is something you already know. However, for the sake of being thorough, I feel it is an important concept to spell out.

Your pastor, regardless of age, education, marital status, race, denominational affiliation, or any other classification, has fears, insecurities, and struggles.

For some in your congregation, this can be difficult to accept. Even some in church leadership might hesitate to acknowledge the humanness of their pastor.

And yet, by failing to do so, you designate your pastor as something other. By failing to see these traits, common among all humans as they are, you will set yourself, and the pastor up for inevitable failure.

Should the pastor be held to a higher moral standard than the person sitting in the seat? Most certainly.

Should the pastor be held to a higher standard when it comes to their knowledge and application of the Scriptures? Absolutely.

Should the pastor be seen as one who does not deal with insecurities or sickness? Absolutely not.

Your pastor is human, give them the same grace and permission you would allow anyone else.

Look at your church as a community of support

Passages including the phrase “one another” or “each other” are found throughout the New Testament. Even a cursory study demonstrates how this group of Christ-followers, known as the church, are intended to work through the joys and challenges of life together.

One of my favorite such passages is written by the Apostle Paul in his letter to the Galatians. In Galatians 6:2 we read, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (NIV).”

So my question to you and your congregation is: How can you best come alongside your pastor and help carry this burden? How can you best support your pastor and their family through this struggle?

For some, this may include ways familiar to your church such as visitation by church leaders or meals prepared by church members to demonstrate love. However, and I cannot stress this enough, make sure you are finding ways for your church to walk with the pastor and their family through this challenge. One of the absolute worst steps that can be taken, especially for an established pastor, is for the church to pull back and disconnect. This results in the pastor’s family feeling as though they are going through this alone, or even being punished because of illness.

Lots of details will change based on the relationship between the pastor and leadership, the pastor’s family and church members, etc. However, make a choice to use this time to live out the one another passages among your local body of believers.

Look for ways to encourage health and healing

Like recovering from an accident, illness, or surgery, the road to a place of emotional health takes time. What steps can your church take to support your pastor’s healing? Here are some possibilities (any of which could be a post in themselves):

A Doctor’s Visit – While a primary care physician (PCP) will not be the landing spot for talk therapy, trauma, or underlying issues, it is always a good place to start when it comes to health. Just like the mind can impact the well-being of the body, the well-being of the body can impact the mind. One’s PCP also will likely be the one to prescribe medications, should that be explored.

Counseling – Like visiting the dentist for a toothache, visiting a mental health professional for therapy should be considered a place to start. To be sure, there are a variety of counseling philosophies in existence.  There also may even need to be a few different counselors visited to find one that your pastor connects with.

Would your church be able to support your pastor by paying for counseling to ease any financial burden? It is something to consider.

Sabbatical – The idea of a Sabbatical means more than “a long vacation.” It is an extended Sabbath wherein responsibilities are reduced or removed for a time. A Sabbatical, specifically to aid in emotional health and healing. However, as stated above, walk through this WITH your pastor. Do not put your pastor in an isolated situation on sabbatical hoping they will get “fixed.” Often, it is beneficial to work with organizations that focus on ministering to pastors.   Soul Shepherding and Caregivers Forum are just two of the various ministries that specialize in this.

Regular, Honest Communication, with No Fear of Reprisal – One of the biggest hesitations pastors may have about admitting to or dealing with, their issues of mental health is the potential loss of their job. While this is a ministry, it is also how your pastor puts food on the table for their family. There are numerous factors that influence how trusting a pastor is to engage in such a topic, however, do all you can to normalize and encourage unfiltered discussion.

Look on with a long-term perspective

To this point, I have focused on how the church should support its pastor’s steps toward health and healing. However, as someone who has served in full-time ministry since 2006, I realize that a church leader may feel some tension navigating this challenge.

On one hand, there is the health and well-being of the pastor and the pastor’s family.

On the other hand, there are dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of individuals that your pastor is responsible to help care for.

How, then, should church leaders respond when those different concerns feel at odds?

Certainly, there are no formulas that offer fail-proof solutions to challenges like this. Any church leadership will need to consider all facets as they care for both the pastor and the rest of the church body. However, one way to care for both your pastor and your congregation is to approach this time from a long-term perspective.

There may be a time when building plans, programming, or other long-term objectives need to pause or be reworked in an effort to offer care and support. There also may be a time when, for the betterment of the congregation, church leaders need to remove the pastor from their official capacity, even as they continue with care and support as a member of their church body.

Whatever decision is made, look on from a long-term perspective. Think in terms of years not weeks or months as you consider both the well-being of the church and the well-being of the pastor and their family.

For mental health resources in your area visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

If you know of someone who struggles with suicidal thoughts, encourage them to text HOME to 741741.
A trained volunteer at the National Crisis Text Line will anonymously help navigate whatever crisis they are going through.

5 Messages to Pastors Struggling with Mental Health

This post is focused on the topic of mental health in the lives of pastors today. For that reason, I feel it necessary to include the following warning for those who could potentially have adverse reactions to the topics addressed.

Trigger Warning: Mental Health, Depression, Suicide

Let’s get something out of the way right up front…I really don’t want to write about this.

Please understand I believe this to be an important topic that needs to be addressed openly and honestly. This is a topic that has often gone ignored, avoided, or stigmatized. This is a topic that needs to be approached in a way that removes the fear of judgment, alienation, or the threat of punishment.

But still…I admit that I really don’t want to write about it.

Earlier this year I wrote a brief post addressing how I wrestle with the issue of depression.  There I recognized that sometimes when I have spoken about my own struggles, I have experienced God’s light shining in the dark corners of others’ lives. Yet, there have also been other times when those who I thought would be lifelong friends disappeared from my life entirely.

When I talk about mental health issues I not only am admitting one of my own struggles, but I also have zero control over how those on the other end will receive the message.

And yet…I continue to feel prompted by God to address the topic of mental health in ministry. I feel led to present how a church family can support a pastor who struggles with their mental health. I feel pushed to drag this isolating sickness that plagues so many, out of the corners of darkness and into God’s redeeming light.

I am not a therapist or a counselor. I am, however, a pastor of over 15 years that has experienced a myriad of reactions in the church to the topic of mental health. To that end, I would like to communicate five messages to pastors who are wrestling with their own issues of mental health.

1) Your brain can be quite a jerk

Author Jon Acuff playfully makes this statement in his book Soundtracks. While Acuff was writing about the topic of overthinking, the principle applies to mental health as well. Acuff points out that, for some reason, just because an idea pops into our heads we have a tendency to believe it. Rarely do we stop to challenge the statement, instead we just assume that because it popped up, we need to listen to that thought. Here are a few examples of statements (or “soundtracks” to borrow from Acuff) that you may hear your brain telling you over and over when struggling with your mental well-being.

All you do is screw up. Literally, nothing you do is right.No one understands what you’re going through.You’re going to be the reason your kids are messed up.You don’t deserve to talk about this. No no no…you deserve to feel this way.Your church/family/spouse/kids/etc would be so much better off if you weren’t here. In fact, it would just be better for everyone if were not alive anymore.

Any of those statements said in isolation, probably seems ludicrous and easy to ignore. However, I can tell you from experience that any message repeated moment after moment, hour after hour, day after day begins to feel less like a foreign intruder and more like an insulting roommate that you’ve just resigned myself to live with. After a while, those statements begin to feel like they are genuinely part of your identity.

For all this reason I want you to hear…your brain may be acting like a jerk right now. When you hear messages like this, you do NOT have to just accept the ideas without question.

To that end, the second message I want to convey is this…

2) You are NOT alone

Depression, and other similar mental health struggles, have this unique aspect of wanting the afflicted to feel isolated. For instance,  my depression loves to create a specific sort of tension inside me. On one hand,  I know one of the best steps I can take to weaken depression of its influence on my life is to talk with others that I trust and who I know to love me. On the other hand, depression tells me that I’m unworthy to have someone listen to my struggles. It will tell me no one cares, no one is interested.

If you struggle with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or something entirely different, I want you to know you are not alone. Despite what your brain may be telling you, despite how you may feel, there are many others who navigate the treacherous waters of mental health struggles.

There are those who can relate. There are those who fight their own internal enemy. There are those who get it.

3) You may not realize the impact of your mental health struggles

Please understand that I do not say this to guilt or shame you in any way. That is not my intention.

For several years I have been taking steps to improve my own emotional health. Part of that journey, however, has included realizing the residual effects of my unhealthy condition. These impacts were both internal (unhealthy methods I was using to cope), as well as external (how I was impacting those around me).

Looking back, I can see how many methods I was using personally to try and deal with my struggle. Video games, house projects, sleeping, computer repair, and busy work for the church were just some of the areas I turned to take my focus off the chaos going on inside of me. None of those are inherently wrong in and of themselves. I, however, was using them to numb my invisible pain.

Once you learn what my internal life was like, it’s not hard to see how this impacted the relationships around me. My loving, faithful wife bore the brunt of my tumultuous moods. My sons had a dad who was either detached or characterized by erratic behavior. My church staff seemed to feel like I was always angry. And in a way, I was…just not at them.

None of this was intentional. In fact, it was not even that I was avoiding help, I thought others were better at facing this common battle than I was. It has only been taking steps toward emotional health that I have recognized how significant the impacts were.

Again, I don’t want this to come across as a lecture or statement to trigger shame. I simply want to impress upon you the importance of taking steps to become healthy. And that may mean confronting a common misconception.

4) Getting help does NOT mean you are weak or less spiritual

As a pastor, I have spoken publicly on various occasions about my mental health struggles. And, unfortunately, not everyone is sympathetic. Mental health still carries a stigma in some circles, and unfortunately, the church can be that way at times.

While I have usually received support, there have been those who have been less encouraging with their responses. How well-meaning they were, I cannot say. However, I too have had individuals encourage me to just “choose to be happy” or “have the joy of the Lord.”

Some could not fathom that a pastor, especially THEIR pastor, would deal with such an issue.

The list of problems with this line of thinking is quite extensive. However, here are a few quick points about that:

While there were no psychologists during the time of the Bible, there is significant reason to believe that a variety of Biblical characters dealt with their own mental health struggles. David, Jonah, Elijah, and Jeremiah are just some of the most noteworthy examples.If you are having trouble breathing, chewing, walking, lifting your arm, using the restroom, or anything else, it only makes sense for you to visit a doctor. Once there, the doctor will recommend steps to improve your condition. This may involve physical therapy, medication, or in some cases surgery. There is no reason to treat the brain and emotions, both considered to be a part of our bodies, as though they are something to be ignored rather than cared for.

I realize you are unlikely to change the minds of those around you with such arguments. However, that’s not my intention. My intention is to ensure YOU receive this message. Seeking help through therapy, medication, or other means does not mean you are somehow weak or less spiritual than those around you.

Finally, I have one more message I want to share with you, fellow pastor, who is navigating this mental health struggle.

5) You CAN have hope for a brighter future

I am several years into my mental health journey. I do not have all the answers. I do, however, have the perspective of someone who has traveled quite a long way down the road.

There is hope…

There can be a day in the future when you do not feel that exhausting invisible pressure. There can be a day when the voices which now seem to shout every waking moment feel more as if they are barely audible. There can be a day when that feeling that the world would be better off without you can be disregarded as an outright lie from the enemy.

It will be a journey. Not every day will be peaches and sunshine. There is, however, hope for a life not dictated by the chaos you currently feel within.

For mental health resources in your area visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, text HOME to 741741.
A trained volunteer at the National Crisis Text Line will anonymously help you navigate whatever crisis you are going through.