Reza Abraham's Blog - Posts Tagged "control-your-life"
Competition and Happiness
Ask any normal person to sketch their dream getaway from normal, everyday life, and they will paint an ideal life that is stress-free and non-competitive.
Unfortunately (debatable), humans are innately competitive.
Be it in school, at work, or in life, we have always been told that to win is to stand at the very top. Competition is inevitable. Society doesn't seem like a place where you can cut yourself the tiniest bit of slack, does it? I mean, you even have to compete with yourself!
A lot of time, how a person takes competition depends on the biological and social changes they have experienced growing up. It is this very desire to stand out from the crowd that propels us to go above and beyond what we are capable of. However, one has to keep their intention for competition in check. It is easy to feel unfulfilled and lacking when competition is heading in the wrong direction.
When is competition doing you more harm than good? It all comes down to your attitude.
You know the competition is heading towards a toxic path when you demand perfection, with no tolerance for anything that seconds it. You start feeling down, and you might even blame yourself for not being able to achieve what you wanted to. Instead of acknowledging the fact that you have grown a little stronger, or gotten a little faster than YOU in the past, your focus is solely on how much better your competitor is performing.
The unhealthy competition also results in lowered self-esteem. Competition can be helpful in character-building, especially when one is able to perform well despite being put under pressure. However, when expectations and standards are not met, and there is no recognition received, it could lead to a sense of anxiety and insecurity about oneself. That is when one could either give up on pursuing what they had wanted for themselves, or develop a false sense of what "perfection" should be.
On the other hand, good competition will push the parties involved to evolve and get better. A competitive environment is perfect for developing one’s skill set because it pushes them to constantly perform their best, which is commonly known as the Growth Mindset. Someone who is a sporting competitor is someone who wishes to succeed, but will also celebrate the victory of his opponent.
Healthy competition encourages collaboration and cooperation. In an age where the use of social media is growing exponentially, human beings spend a considerable amount of time on their own instead of with others. Competition provides feedback that we can evaluate in terms of behavioral, psychological, social, and economic outcomes, and can provide a rich learning environment for people to express and develop physical skills and personal attributes.
It's irrefutable that competition plays an important role in growth. Competitions should not be used as a means to magnify what you might be lacking instead. Competitions should exist for you to identify both your strengths and weaknesses, and while improving, don’t forget to celebrate yourself. Strive for excellence, not perfection, because
News flash: Perfection does not exist. It is an unattainable concept.
You don’t necessarily have to be the first to be the winner.
What makes you a champion in life is your unbreakable spirit in giving yourself and the world the best that you can.
Learn to love your imperfections, because that is what makes you, You!
-
Check out my new video on How to Find Peace with your Imperfections at https://youtu.be/pr8BY94MJAg.
By yours truly.
Unfortunately (debatable), humans are innately competitive.
Be it in school, at work, or in life, we have always been told that to win is to stand at the very top. Competition is inevitable. Society doesn't seem like a place where you can cut yourself the tiniest bit of slack, does it? I mean, you even have to compete with yourself!
A lot of time, how a person takes competition depends on the biological and social changes they have experienced growing up. It is this very desire to stand out from the crowd that propels us to go above and beyond what we are capable of. However, one has to keep their intention for competition in check. It is easy to feel unfulfilled and lacking when competition is heading in the wrong direction.
When is competition doing you more harm than good? It all comes down to your attitude.
You know the competition is heading towards a toxic path when you demand perfection, with no tolerance for anything that seconds it. You start feeling down, and you might even blame yourself for not being able to achieve what you wanted to. Instead of acknowledging the fact that you have grown a little stronger, or gotten a little faster than YOU in the past, your focus is solely on how much better your competitor is performing.
The unhealthy competition also results in lowered self-esteem. Competition can be helpful in character-building, especially when one is able to perform well despite being put under pressure. However, when expectations and standards are not met, and there is no recognition received, it could lead to a sense of anxiety and insecurity about oneself. That is when one could either give up on pursuing what they had wanted for themselves, or develop a false sense of what "perfection" should be.
On the other hand, good competition will push the parties involved to evolve and get better. A competitive environment is perfect for developing one’s skill set because it pushes them to constantly perform their best, which is commonly known as the Growth Mindset. Someone who is a sporting competitor is someone who wishes to succeed, but will also celebrate the victory of his opponent.
Healthy competition encourages collaboration and cooperation. In an age where the use of social media is growing exponentially, human beings spend a considerable amount of time on their own instead of with others. Competition provides feedback that we can evaluate in terms of behavioral, psychological, social, and economic outcomes, and can provide a rich learning environment for people to express and develop physical skills and personal attributes.
It's irrefutable that competition plays an important role in growth. Competitions should not be used as a means to magnify what you might be lacking instead. Competitions should exist for you to identify both your strengths and weaknesses, and while improving, don’t forget to celebrate yourself. Strive for excellence, not perfection, because
News flash: Perfection does not exist. It is an unattainable concept.
You don’t necessarily have to be the first to be the winner.
What makes you a champion in life is your unbreakable spirit in giving yourself and the world the best that you can.
Learn to love your imperfections, because that is what makes you, You!
-
Check out my new video on How to Find Peace with your Imperfections at https://youtu.be/pr8BY94MJAg.
By yours truly.
Why I decided to write the book , InControl
I started writing this book because I felt like I was living a lie.
Let me first tell you a little about myself. Hailing from the beautiful nation of Iran, I have long since established myself as a speaker, ultra-high-performance coach, leadership consultant, founder of InControl Group. On Top of that, ever since my first book, I have also become an author based in Malaysia. I have spent the past 20 years studying and working with individuals from different fields and stages of life in contrast with high and average-performance individuals. Everyone around me saw me as the “Dr. Reza Abraham” who was always jovial, empowered, living a good life, working with many great clients from around the world, and having a happy family. What no one knew was that I constantly found myself in this rat race that was inspiring and shiny on the outside but inelegant and dark on the inside. I always felt a “barrier” that was holding me back and preventing me from exploring my true potential.
I realized that I, a certified coach, was not living the life I was advocating for, and that change was necessary in order to reach where I wanted to be.
After years of evaluating, reflecting, and analyzing the risk of taking on a new direction, I realized that the system to a successful life and career is the ability to be “in control”. That was when my journey to writing my book began. It took me two years to finally publish my first book, InControl: A Systematic Approach to Taking Complete Control of Your Life and Career at the beginning of 2022, which till date, is available for purchase in bookstores across 14 countries and 34 online platforms such as Amazon, Book Depository, Shopee and more.
How I have put together the book is actually by breaking it into three parts with ONE Core, THREE Cornerstones, and TWELVE Pillars, where each chapter of the book is meant to complement the other to inspire and motivate its readers with timeless, practical actions and reflections that I have collected over 20 years. As an author, I believe that it is my duty to empower my readers to design their own book and master each pillar in the following chapters at their own pace, as everyone has different priorities in their lives and careers. Without providing a set of fixed priorities, I hope that the readers of this book will look into the different aspects of their life and career and decide how and when they want to get in control of each pillar.
The way that the book is designed, is by first going through the first chapter where we talk about Consciousness as the core of being in control. It is when we become aware of the fact that we need to take responsibility for what we can control and not apologize for or even use it as an apology for the things we can not control.
When you are aware of the things that you can and cannot control, it’s time to get into the THREE important cornerstones in our lives and careers. Contentment a.k.a happiness without regret is a crucial part of our lives because what is an InControl life if you have regrets? The simplest way to contentment is to be grateful for both the things you have and don’t. I love the way Tony Hsieh, the former CEO of Zappos, looks into happiness through an interesting longevity lens where he mentioned the three types of happiness: pleasure, passion, and purpose. Identifying the length of happiness will give you more control over the decisions you will make in order to achieve the different types of happiness.
As the saying goes, “Rome wasn’t built in a day”.
The discipline to stay committed to seeing the change is what we call Consistency. It is the discipline that can make it all or break it all. In order to create a new set of commitments and become consistent, a major realignment is needed in our lives. One of the ways to become a more consistent person would be by finding your IKIGAI a.k.a your life’s purpose with these 4 questions: What do you love to do? What are you pretty good at? How does it impact the world? How are you going to get paid for it?
When you get a hang of the three Cs above, focus on staying ahead of the game. Conversion is where we ask life questions, “Are we really growing?”. Conversion needs to happen intentionally in every area, and these are some hacks that I have found to be very useful in my own life to pull it together;
1. Look for timeless lessons and set your life-guiding principles.
2. Start future-proofing yourself.
3. Master the art of deep learning.
4. Keep your grit, growth mindset.
5. Apply scenario planning in your life.
Some simple self-reflection is needed upon completing the first four chapters of the book to align your goals and make this book work for you. Then comes the following TWELVE pillars, which you may encounter at different stages in life:
Character: The ability to always stay in control of our actions and thoughts.
Communication: The ability to make everything so simple that everybody can understand.
Curiosity: The desire to know more, do more, and add value.
Compass: The ability to make wise decisions and pick the right direction.
Courage: The ability to get out of your comfort zone.
Collaboration: The ability to boost the spirit of togetherness and inclusion by thinking and acting as a team.
Connection: The ability to be likable and charismatic.
Competency: The steppingstone to confidence.
Companion: The ability to pick the right circle.
Cash: The ability to store, invest, and smartly grow your wealth.
Condition: The ability to retain a healthy state of the body, mind, emotion, and soul.
Contribution: The ability and desire to make the world a better place to live.
Each chapter consists of five hacks that are actionable, and more importantly, will guide you from being zero to becoming the hero of your own story.
Read the full article at https://medium.com/@drrezaabraham/why...
Let me first tell you a little about myself. Hailing from the beautiful nation of Iran, I have long since established myself as a speaker, ultra-high-performance coach, leadership consultant, founder of InControl Group. On Top of that, ever since my first book, I have also become an author based in Malaysia. I have spent the past 20 years studying and working with individuals from different fields and stages of life in contrast with high and average-performance individuals. Everyone around me saw me as the “Dr. Reza Abraham” who was always jovial, empowered, living a good life, working with many great clients from around the world, and having a happy family. What no one knew was that I constantly found myself in this rat race that was inspiring and shiny on the outside but inelegant and dark on the inside. I always felt a “barrier” that was holding me back and preventing me from exploring my true potential.
I realized that I, a certified coach, was not living the life I was advocating for, and that change was necessary in order to reach where I wanted to be.
After years of evaluating, reflecting, and analyzing the risk of taking on a new direction, I realized that the system to a successful life and career is the ability to be “in control”. That was when my journey to writing my book began. It took me two years to finally publish my first book, InControl: A Systematic Approach to Taking Complete Control of Your Life and Career at the beginning of 2022, which till date, is available for purchase in bookstores across 14 countries and 34 online platforms such as Amazon, Book Depository, Shopee and more.
How I have put together the book is actually by breaking it into three parts with ONE Core, THREE Cornerstones, and TWELVE Pillars, where each chapter of the book is meant to complement the other to inspire and motivate its readers with timeless, practical actions and reflections that I have collected over 20 years. As an author, I believe that it is my duty to empower my readers to design their own book and master each pillar in the following chapters at their own pace, as everyone has different priorities in their lives and careers. Without providing a set of fixed priorities, I hope that the readers of this book will look into the different aspects of their life and career and decide how and when they want to get in control of each pillar.
The way that the book is designed, is by first going through the first chapter where we talk about Consciousness as the core of being in control. It is when we become aware of the fact that we need to take responsibility for what we can control and not apologize for or even use it as an apology for the things we can not control.
When you are aware of the things that you can and cannot control, it’s time to get into the THREE important cornerstones in our lives and careers. Contentment a.k.a happiness without regret is a crucial part of our lives because what is an InControl life if you have regrets? The simplest way to contentment is to be grateful for both the things you have and don’t. I love the way Tony Hsieh, the former CEO of Zappos, looks into happiness through an interesting longevity lens where he mentioned the three types of happiness: pleasure, passion, and purpose. Identifying the length of happiness will give you more control over the decisions you will make in order to achieve the different types of happiness.
As the saying goes, “Rome wasn’t built in a day”.
The discipline to stay committed to seeing the change is what we call Consistency. It is the discipline that can make it all or break it all. In order to create a new set of commitments and become consistent, a major realignment is needed in our lives. One of the ways to become a more consistent person would be by finding your IKIGAI a.k.a your life’s purpose with these 4 questions: What do you love to do? What are you pretty good at? How does it impact the world? How are you going to get paid for it?
When you get a hang of the three Cs above, focus on staying ahead of the game. Conversion is where we ask life questions, “Are we really growing?”. Conversion needs to happen intentionally in every area, and these are some hacks that I have found to be very useful in my own life to pull it together;
1. Look for timeless lessons and set your life-guiding principles.
2. Start future-proofing yourself.
3. Master the art of deep learning.
4. Keep your grit, growth mindset.
5. Apply scenario planning in your life.
Some simple self-reflection is needed upon completing the first four chapters of the book to align your goals and make this book work for you. Then comes the following TWELVE pillars, which you may encounter at different stages in life:
Character: The ability to always stay in control of our actions and thoughts.
Communication: The ability to make everything so simple that everybody can understand.
Curiosity: The desire to know more, do more, and add value.
Compass: The ability to make wise decisions and pick the right direction.
Courage: The ability to get out of your comfort zone.
Collaboration: The ability to boost the spirit of togetherness and inclusion by thinking and acting as a team.
Connection: The ability to be likable and charismatic.
Competency: The steppingstone to confidence.
Companion: The ability to pick the right circle.
Cash: The ability to store, invest, and smartly grow your wealth.
Condition: The ability to retain a healthy state of the body, mind, emotion, and soul.
Contribution: The ability and desire to make the world a better place to live.
Each chapter consists of five hacks that are actionable, and more importantly, will guide you from being zero to becoming the hero of your own story.
Read the full article at https://medium.com/@drrezaabraham/why...
