Mark L. Van Name's Blog, page 157

Science fiction and fantasy authors stampede library!

Tuesday night, a herd of angry authors stampeded a local library and left only bricks and dust in their wake.

Well, okay, that's a tiny bit of an exaggeration.  Instead, in an event
Practically the same thing.

Or not.

We were certainly a suspicious-looking bunch, a mob that seemed ready to turn surly at the smallest provocation. 

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As you can see here, going from left to right, Lisa is ready to throw down, Terry is carefully gauging the threat level of the audience, I'm (as usual) all smiles and unicorns, and Dave has zeroed in on the first person to go when the fighting commences.

Actually, we're all just listening to the next question, though my version of reality is way better.

I do have to wonder what was going through my mind when Gina took this photo.


That's not the smile I should ever flash a jury before answering, say, "What exactly are those bones we found under your house?"

I must note that we did not have to answer that question tonight.  Not that I would have trouble answering it.  Not that there are bones under my house, though it's always possible for a cheese-fry-stealing unicorn's corpse to be washed anywhere by the natural flow of groundwater.  I hope. 

To go back to the event, the audience actually outnumbered us by a rather significant margin, the conversations were pleasant, and it was great to get a chance to meet Terry Holt, a local writer I had not previously known.

I'm doing another of these next Tuesday, this time at the North Raleigh Library, so if you want to see that smile again, you might want to show up. 



Thanks to Gina for the photos.

Lucha Libro!

Check out this story on a Peruvian writing-contest-cum-spectator sport.  I would attend this, I would participate in it just to have done it--and to have an excuse to wear the mask.  I have no reason to believe that it's a good way to find a novelist who can write a compelling book, but it is a lovely promotional stunt and tickles me nonetheless..

I can't picture an American publisher going for this notion, of course, but perhaps something more brutal, say Death Race for Novelists?  Oh, yeah.


Thanks to Eric for tipping me off to Lucha Libro.

Machete Kills

Warning:  This is a red-band trailer. Don't play it if you don't want to watch truly gratuitous amounts of bloody violence.


Wow, do I want to see this movie, which opens on October 11.  Given how much fun its predecessor, Machete, was, how could I not?  If that alone wasn't enough to convince me, this trailer surely would.



If you're seeking serious social drama, avoid this film like the plague.  If, however, you want to laugh like hell as you watch absurd amounts of unreal violence, I'll see you at the theater the weekend of October 11.

Pig-picking 2013

Today, in keeping with another of our annual traditions, something approaching a hundred of us gathered at Dave's to celebrate his birthday with his annual pig-picking, an event he has been holding since before I met him.  We gather, chat, consume all sorts of foods that we bring, and chow down on the main attraction, a full pig.

Click on a photo to see a larger version.

Later, Kyle and I carved the pig and turned it into chunks and strings of pork on huge platters full of meat, but right after the pig arrived the only way to taste it was to cut a piece yourself, as Dave and Kyle are doing here. 


The bits we've already cut are parts of the tenderloin, the most amazingly delicious, moist meat you can get from this pig.

As the expression on Kyle's face suggests, he was a happy camper, as were the rest of us who had early tastes.  Damn, that meat was good.

Bill has, from time to time, mocked me for being "tradition boy," and in some ways he is right:  a great many traditions mark the passage of my years.  I'm okay with that, though, because the traditions are good things, grounding forces that connect me to this place, to these people, to this bit of land where I live. I love to travel, and I plan to do so frequently for the rest of my life, but I also love having a home, a place where I have those connections, those roots.  I don't see the two, travel and connection, as at all contradictory, so I embrace being both tradition boy and travel boy. 

I thank Dave and Jo for hosting this tradition, and I sincerely hope to get to enjoy it for many, many years to come.

A trip I need to make in 13 years

Long-time readers may recall that I am a huge fan of the work of Spanish architect and genius Antoni Gaudi.  I particularly love his La Sagrada Familia cathedral, which I saw first with Scott on our trip to Barcelona when he was 16.  The building has been under construction for a very long time, but now the builders are claiming they will finish it--meaning, finish all that Gaudi meant it to be--by 2026.  Though I don't honestly believe they will complete the construction by then, I hope they do, because I very much want to see the final structure.

Check out this video to see a rendering of Gaudi's vision.  Amazing, breathtaking, inspiring, weird, organic, math-based genius.



I know I'll be 71 in 2026, but I still want to make that trip.

Want to hear me chat about Heinlein and my past?

Well, you can.  I'm not the only one talking, either.  You can hear interesting stuff from Toni Weisskopf, Baen's Publisher, and Tony Daniel, a Baen editor and fellow writer.

Warning:  At one point, in response to a question from Tony, I talk about some rough stuff in my past.  Don't listen if you want only happiness and light and unicorns (though why anyone would want those cheese-fry-stealing beasts is beyond me). 

Anyway, all you have to do is go to Baen's podcast page, where this podcast is the current one.  If you're reading this blog entry more than a few days after its initial appearance and the Heinlein one is not on top, check out the entry with the name

BFRH 2013 09 27

The Heinlein bit starts a few minutes into the broadcast, after the Baen news. 

Enjoy!

Come see me Tuesday, October 1, at the Wake County West Regional Library

The redoubtable Dan Brooks is once again spearheading an SF/Fantasy author series for the Wake County Public Libraries.  Dan graciously invited me to take part in two of these events.  The first, which is also the first of the series, is this coming Tuesday, October 1, at 7:00 p.m. at the Wake County West Regional Library.

Click on an image to see a larger version.
As you can see, I'll be joining three other local writers--David Drake, Terence Holt, and Lisa Shearin--in this panel discussion. We'll be talking about genre fiction of various types, our writing processes, and so on.  We'll also field questions from the audience.

There may be unicorns.

Okay, no unicorns, but there will be other, similar panels during October, as you can see in this flyer.


If you expand the image and read carefully, you'll note that I'll also be taking part in a second panel a week later.  No need to remember that one right now; I'll remind you later.

Some of us may grab dinner nearby afterward.

After all, unicorns have huge appetites.


All rumors of unicorns are strictly that, rumors.  I don't know why we even mention them; they are notoriously unreliable, not to mention piggy eaters who won't let you finish a bacon cheeseburger unless they also have one.  Don't even get me started on them and cheese fries.  The pigs...I mean piggy eaters.  They hate being called pigs.  Hate it almost as much as not getting any cheese fries, though not quite that much of course.  Unicorns, they love them some cheese fries. 

The top five things I hate most about my Tesla Model S

Many folks who have asked me how much I like my new Tesla Model S quickly tire of hearing all the positive things I have to say about this great car.  So, quite a few have asked me what I hate most about it.  I've pondered the question, and I'm going to share the answers with you now.

5. It's not a jet car.

I mean, really.  Popular science magazines of my childhood promised me a jet car, and I want it.  Musk also controls SpaceX, so surely he can work out the details to share technologies between the companies. 

4. No beverage is waiting for me when I sit in it.

Again, is this too much to ask?  I actually have to bring my own water bottle.  A little AI, some communication with a shopping service, maybe a delivery service, and a little reading of weather data ought to be enough to let it have an appropriate drink waiting for me.  Coke Zero or water, by the way.

3. It doesn't shine my shoes while I drive.

Sure, I mostly wear sneakers, but when I'm rocking a pair of leather shoes, would a little polish and buff be too much to ask?  My feet are on the floor, so this shouldn't be difficult. 

2. It's already dirty!

I've owned it only three months, and already the outside is dirty and so is some of the carpet.  Dirt-repellent technology must be on the Tesla drawing boards; I want it now!

And, the number one thing I hate about my Tesla Model S,

1. I can't afford to give one to every single one of my friends.  

I'm convinced that's the only way I can stop them from being (correctly) jealous of me for owning the car.  Sadly, that feat is way, way, way beyond the level of money I will ever have.


P.S. Having said that, if my books ever sold at Harry Potter levels and I had the money of J.K. Rowling, I would have to seriously consider making a lot of my friends very happy indeed.  So, if you want to help my friends, get busy buying those books!

P.P.S. Okay, that's lame, and I feel bad about writing it--but not so bad that I'm going to delete it.

I'm all for humor

but do we really need it at the bottom of urinals?

Apparently, at least some vendors think so, as I learned in a restaurant restroom in Albany last week.

Click on the image to see a larger version.

Granted, this pun is a weak attempt at humor, but still.

A related question that this urinal raised:  Do we really want to make men laugh while they're standing there?  Is that in anyone's best interest?

Yes, I wonder these things.

I am so sixteen inside

Or maybe it's twelve.  Sometimes, it's hard for me to tell which.

Example:  Not long after arriving in Albany last Wednesday, I had to phone into a podcast show (more on that in another post).  My room wasn't ready yet, and the hotel lobby was too loud for the call, so I asked one of the desk clerks where I might find a quiet space.  He sent me to a lower floor which was, he assured me, "a ghost town."

It was indeed a whole lot of empty space.  No one was in any of its many meeting rooms.

Those rooms had, however, very recently hosted some sort of motivational/organizational meetings.  Flip boards and cork boards and whiteboards sported all sorts of generic terms and sayings.  The room I chose for the call featured this bit of seminar detritus.


After I finished the call, the juvenile me found the board irresistible.  I grabbed a marker, and a few minutes later, I left the room with the board sporting a new message.


I told you:  sixteen, or maybe twelve.