Joyce Job's Blog, page 4

Blog: My Quintessential India Trip Dream

Whenever my father brings up my marriage matter, I tell him I will get married after I publish my second book and complete my India trip. I’m not sure if it’s the marriage clause that jinxed my dreams, or vice versa; all three of my plans have been caught in the infinite loop of “wishing” but “never actually happening” for ages.

I have no idea when or if I will get married. My potential partner is still a hypothetical concept. Being the homebody and introvert that I am, understanding nonverbal social cues is itself a challenge for me. Then, how will I fare well in the strategic games of modern dating and endure the whole arranged marriage conversations with not-so-subtle dowry demands? I have to admit. It’s against my moral values, beyond my current skill sets, and far outside my tolerance levels.

So the statistical chances of me meeting a mythological figure, interviewing an alien, falling in love with a fictional hero(nothing new about it), or catching a legendary Pokemon (who wants a legendary Pokemon if I can get a Charmander, train it, and evolve into a Charizard? Oh that’s the dream!) in real life are higher than me meeting my potential partner in life.

Now that I think about it… I might as well take advantage of the freedom and autonomy that come with my single life, and turn 2025 into the year I complete my first India trip. Inshallah. If God wills it.

Every time someone asks me, “What is your dream country to visit?” – I say India. Despite being an Indian for the last thirty-two years, I cannot say that I have explored it as much as I want to, because India is so vast and nuanced: whether we talk about its geography, culture, biodiversity, spirituality, philosophy, celebrations, people, languages, or food. That’s why I’m so stoked to explore it in detail.

But here’s the catch. There is no way I will be able to go to every nook and corner of India. All I can aspire to do is to go as deep and wide as I possibly can. I keep reminding myself that the whole point is not to get fixated on the perfect trip, but to just do it, even in an imperfect way.

Most of my college friends had already completed an India trip during the third year of our college life. So I’m sure my plan may not sound like a big deal to many. But as someone who couldn’t go on that college trip due to some financial constraints at home and had to cancel my first self-planned India trip back in 2019, that too within just 2 days, this is a huge deal for me.

Many people and self-help books advise us not to talk openly about our dreams until we execute them, as we could jinx them, get the bhuri nazar(evil eye), or people might think we are arrogant.

Personally, I like people who say they want something, get out there, work hard, and make it happen. Talking about my dreams and working hard on them is how I manifest them into reality. Seven years before I published my first book, I stood before my college class during our farewell and confessed that I wanted to be a writer. I had barely written half a dozen poems at that point. The accountability we feel toward the people who listened to us also drives us to be accountable for our dreams.

But here’s the important thing. Just because we have good intentions or declare publically that we want to do something, doesn’t mean that we will actually do that. We have to plan it well, work hard, and get it executed.

While we set on to do anything in life, we will meet a bunch of naysayers, and critics, who will say it’s impractical or call you cringe. I agree with Taylor Swift in that respect; the same thing you might find cringe could be an amazing and life-altering experience for someone else. So let me experience my version of the India trip, for better or for worse.

Now, let me take a moment to overthink all the potential problems that could derail my India trip plans this time:

1. I could fall sick. (I almost always do, every time I go on a long trip. I came back from my last Gujarat trip with COVID and pneumonia. During the last 2 weeks of my three-month UK trip, I was down with the flu, with a rattling cough and high fever. Every time my doctor sees me, he is like – “Woman, what is it this time?”.

Then there’s also the typical travel sickness inside AC cars and buses. Washing/sanitizing my hands regularly, eating from hygienic places, keeping myself hydrated, wearing a mask in crowded places, and keeping my medicines handy is usually how I try to tackle it. But one mistake could still bring you down.)

2. I could run out of money. (I don’t want to break my long-term savings and investments for this trip. I must try my best to budget this trip using the money I earned from my recent freelance editing projects and some FD interests.)

3. I need to keep working – I’ll have to continue taking on freelance projects to avoid long gaps with my regular clients and to stay financially stable.

4. Regular trips back home – No matter how far I go, I’ll have to return home at regular intervals, as my parents are aging and sometimes suffer from health issues. I need to make sure everything is okay at home.

5. Personal safety concerns involved in traveling alone, night travel, reaching remote places, places I stay, etc. For me, bad experiences while traveling on public transport are a reality. I have had disturbing incidents like people trying to grope me and show me porn on buses and trains. As gross and appalling as it is, it is naive to be unprepared for it. I do have my can of pepper spray.

4. Recent terrorist attacks – Then there’s the biggest concern of all, the recent Pahalgam attacks where 26 civilians were killed by armed militants at a popular tourist spot near Pahalgam, Jammu and Kashmir. They mainly targeted Hindu tourists, though a Christian tourist and a local Muslim were also killed in the attack. The wounds are still fresh in the country’s memory after this heartbreaking incident, and our hearts go out to the victims and their families.

The sensible option for a traveler like me would be to stay clear of places that are prone to such attacks and riots like Kashmir, Manipur, or Chattisgarh. But even a popular and buzzing city like Mumbai is also prone to attacks. Then there’s also the nagging, reckless, and rebellious thought: India is our country, right? Terror shouldn’t stop us from navigating and learning from it.

The whole point of this trip isn’t just sightseeing. Sightseeing bores me after a while, no matter how exciting the view is. I need to keep learning something new from a place or experience to stay interested. I want to interact with common people like you and me, learn from their stories and challenges, and highlight them through my writing in a respectful way.

Anyway, I guess this is one moral conundrum I’ll figure out only with time.

7. The monsoons are coming. That could mean canceling trips for a while. My home state, Kerala is known for its flooding, which can cause major disruptions.

It’s easy to write a blog post like this. It’s easy to tell everyone that I want to go on an All India trip. I know because I’ve done it countless times now. But this time, I really hope I’ll do it. And I hope at least some of you will hold me accountable and encourage me while I do it. Just a girl and her dreams here.

On a closing note, here’s a poem by  Strangest Loop to keep you and me grounded and focused on our dreams:

https://strangestloop.io/essays/things-that-arent-doing-the-thing

Blog: A Writer’s Dream – Why I Aspire to Be My Own Boss

Brooding Man, a statue located in Winchester Cathedral, UK.

“Labour Day is a celebration of the working class and their endless contributions to the fabric of society.” – Noam Chomsky.

“No work is insignificant. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

May 1st, 2025.

Seven years ago, if someone wished me, “Happy Labour Day” on May 1st, I would have laughed at the irony. Working twelve to fourteen hours a day in the IT field, under high pressure and strict deadlines, was definitely not my idea of happiness.

But then, I quit the IT field to pursue my love for literature. The road was bumpy; it still is. For better or for worse, I persevered. I landed some challenging yet rewarding full-time and freelance job opportunities that helped me hone my craft and provided me with financial stability. Looking back, I am grateful I dared to make the career switch in my mid-twenties so that at the start of my thirties, I am at least working in a field I love and adore.

But it is human nature to be restless, ambitious, and even greedy at times, right? So here’s what I am looking forward to achieving in the next seven years – to Be My Own Boss. As someone who values my individuality and freedom, this is paramount for me. And here’s why.

In my writer and editor job roles, I am constantly lending my voice to other authors, brands, and companies. My job has involved tasks ranging from proofreading to developmental editing, and even writing and ghostwriting gigs. I have also adapted Chinese audio shows for the US market. This process involves writing many original scenes, and reworking plotlines, character arcs, and even the climax.

Whether it’s the publishing or entertainment field, for amateur writers who are yet to earn a name for themselves, the rates are often exploitative. Many times, their creative contributions get no writing/creative credit apart from the fixed salaries or per-word payments.

Sometimes, seniors pitch an editing project as mere proofreading, but once we read the manuscript, we realize it is actually a project that needs developmental editing or ghostwriting, which demands significant creative input from the editors when writers are unable to provide it (this happens more often than we think). Now add to that the rising trend of using AI-generated manuscripts, where editors are hired to “rewrite” and “humanize” them into cohesive, publishable narratives.

Sadly, when we work in the creative field, we realize how ego and insecurity often masquerade as authority and competence. While working as an editor, I have met authors who insisted that their books be priced a specific amount as per numerology, or that I begin the editing at a particular time for “auspicious” reasons.

Everyone wants to be an author, but few are willing to do the emotional and intellectual labor it demands. Often times this means, our voices as co-authors, ghostwriters, or editors are muted, toned down, or reshaped to fit the author’s demands or brand narratives. And our contributions are unaccounted for. We, as individuals, start fading. We start editing ourselves to fit in, to meet deadlines, and to collect the cheque.

Recently, I came across a blog from The Hollywood Reporter India about how many Bollywood writers, especially the lower-tier talent, are battling mental health issues, cruel contracts, and financial crises, and are contemplating quitting amid a historic slowdown. The fact that they are still fighting for basic minimum contracts (₹13 lakhs as minimum pay for a full script, ₹4 lakhs for a story, ₹5 lakhs for a screenplay, and ₹4 lakhs for dialogue) is shocking, especially when we remember that Bollywood spends hundreds of crores on their movie budgets and stars’ remuneration.

While I believe in the dignity of labor, I don’t believe in being pawns or getting exploited. A capitalist like Robert Kiyosaki, who wrote Rich Dad, Poor Dad, says, “People exploit themselves by accepting jobs with low pay.” But as workers, we know why we say yes to such gigs: to pay our bills, to take care of our family, to stay afloat. After all, “You have to survive to succeed.”

So my advice to myself and to all workers on this Labour Day is:

Yes, your job is important. Do it diligently and strive for excellence. Be grateful for the salary that pays your bills.But also have personal projects where you work for yourself and you are your own boss. Find time for it. Commit to it. For a writer like me, this can be writing my own books and personal blogs, or contributing to my creative website and building my own brand.Prioritize your mental health: Spend quality time with your family. Go on outings with your friends. Rest well and find time for self-care. Take up fun hobbies. Seek a therapist’s help if required.At work, uphold your boundaries and values. Say no when required and stick to it. Don’t let someone guilt-trip, gaslight, or manipulate you into saying yes when your no matters. Leave toxic workplaces. Raise your concerns in problematic situations. Let silence not be compliance. Negotiate for fair compensation and creative credits.Use AI as a tool to “assist” you or help you learn. Don’t let it replace your creativity or imagination. Continuously seek to learn, grow, and improve yourself.And to my fellow writers: we are forced to read, write, and even travel with our “professional” hats on. It can make our art feel like a chore. Drop the act whenever you can. Read, write, and travel like the child you used to be. Be a self-indulgent amateur whenever you can. This will help you regain the passion, wonder, and curiosity you once had.

Let’s take back our power and unleash our magic .You don’t have to edit yourself out to the point you lose yourself. You matter, your voice matters, your art matters, and so does your resistance and rebellion.

As they say, all art is propaganda. May yours set your soul on fire and liberate you.

Reference Links:

https://www.hollywoodreporterindia.com/features/insight/bollywood-writers-battle-mental-health-cruel-contracts-contemplate-quitting-amid-historic-slowdown

Let me know your thoughts on this blog in the comments. Always open to discussing any different or contradictory opinions as well. That’s how we learn.

Blog: Why I Turned to Writing and Why I Keep at it

It takes sad days like today to remind me why I turned to writing in the first place. It wasn’t because I was astonishingly intelligent and had some grand ideas to share with the world. It wasn’t because I wanted to show off my literary skills. Instead, it was solely because I was often overwhelmed with the overflowing thoughts in my mind and emotions in my heart, and I needed a safe space to express them, or rather, to be relieved of them. 

Writing, to me, was what the pensive was to Albus Dumbledore. A secret place to tuck away the overwhelming feelings and nonstop rants in my head, so they wouldn’t fall off in the wrong place and time, embarrassing me. Also, I didn’t want to lose my precious memories to the forgetfulness of my tomorrows and be bereft of them forever, so the pages of my diaries soon filled up with black ink blotches and scribbles of my thoughts. My journals became that old rustic road that led to the sea where I could revisit my memories and get soaked in nostalgia. 

Having said that, locking away all your memories on a piece of paper comes with its demerits. Lies, betrayals, shame, guilt, manipulation, abuse, anger – these are not feelings anyone wants to remember many years down the lane. Neither do I. These are feelings we want to forget forever and need redemption from, like those well-written books with painful endings we don’t want to reopen or reread ever again and sad movies we don’t ever want to rewatch. Yet, was it wrong of those artists to create them and share them with us? Was it sadistic of them to make us cry with those words, lyrics, and songs? Do you think they should have never written them in the first place?

In my humble opinion, these stories needed to be written, forgotten, celebrated, appreciated, or discarded, just like any other piece of art in this world. I believe these stories of our greatest mistakes, pains, traumas, and failures might, in the long expanse of time, turn out to be a great service to mankind.

An unprivileged child might learn from your shared story what good touch and bad touch are, helping him to steer clear of abuse. Or a woman reading your tragic relationship with a narcissistic partner might finally accept emotional abuse as abuse too, recognize the toxic patterns in her own messy life and finally stand up for her rights. Or a young boy, hiding his sexuality from the world, might learn from your bold story of courage that love is love, and loving the same gender is not a crime like his country or culture makes him believe. Or a middle-aged man going through a financial and relationship crisis might relate to your hero’s vulnerability and finally stop putting up the “strong” act and take the therapeutic help he badly needs. 

So, we keep stringing one word with another, day after day, sharing our sad stories along with our happy ones, not because we believe life is all sorrows and pain, or an equal mix of happiness and sorrow, but because to every sad end, there is a happy beginning that succeeds it. We believe people are great not because they haven’t had any setbacks, but because they persevered despite the dark days, heartbreaks, failures, losses, and pain. Because, as storytellers, readers, and writers, all of us know that the long nights do end, and there is always light at the end of the tunnels.  

The great stories remind us that you are the main character in your story and it is still in progress; that heroes and villains both make mistakes, and the villain’s tragic flaw isn’t that he made mistakes but that he never learned from them and mended his ways. Even if you see yourself as an average Joe, maybe you have a #weaktostrong trope waiting for you. Even if you are an underdog, you are in luck because, in this story, an underdog rises from #ragstoriches. Even if you are an antihero now, there is a redemption curve that might make you a hero again. Even if you have failed and fallen into oblivion as a neglected side character or a foolish comedian just tolerated for occasional comic relief, maybe you are the biggest comeback story the world has yet to see. 

Fellow loser, underdog, average Joe, misfit, victim, you are not alone in this journey. Here’s one who is rooting for your story, even as she writes hers. I know you are the black sheep of your family. Probably, that daughter who is still struggling with her career or that son who still struggles to pay his bills or find a partner. Your stories of struggle and perseverance matter, not just the glossy stories of weddings, promotions, and vacations on social media, so do my random scribbles about bleak days.

Keep writing, keep striving, and keep sharing those not-so-glossy and even sad and dark stories. Let’s keep it real, for a change.

Why I Turned to Writing and Why I Keep at it

It takes sad days like today to remind me why I turned to writing in the first place. It wasn’t because I was astonishingly intelligent and had some grand ideas to share with the world. It wasn’t because I wanted to show off my literary skills. Instead, it was solely because I was often overwhelmed with the overflowing thoughts in my mind and emotions in my heart, and I needed a safe space to express them, or rather, to be relieved of them. 

Writing, to me, was what the pensive was to Albus Dumbledore. A secret place to tuck away the overwhelming feelings and nonstop rants in my head, so they wouldn’t fall off in the wrong place and time, embarrassing me. Also, I didn’t want to lose my precious memories to the forgetfulness of my tomorrows and be bereft of them forever, so the pages of my diaries soon filled up with black ink blotches and scribbles of my thoughts. My journals became that old rustic road that led to the sea where I could revisit my memories and get soaked in nostalgia. 

Having said that, locking away all your memories on a piece of paper comes with its demerits. Lies, betrayals, shame, guilt, manipulation, abuse, anger – these are not feelings anyone wants to remember many years down the lane. Neither do I. These are feelings we want to forget forever and need redemption from, like those well-written books with painful endings we don’t want to reopen or reread ever again and sad movies we don’t ever want to rewatch. Yet, was it wrong of those artists to create them and share them with us? Was it sadistic of them to make us cry with those words, lyrics, and songs? Do you think they should have never written them in the first place?

In my humble opinion, these stories needed to be written, forgotten, celebrated, appreciated, or discarded, just like any other piece of art in this world. I believe these stories of our greatest mistakes, pains, traumas, and failures might, in the long expanse of time, turn out to be a great service to mankind.

An unprivileged child might learn from your shared story what good touch and bad touch are, helping him to steer clear of abuse. Or a woman reading your tragic relationship with a narcissistic partner might finally accept emotional abuse as abuse too, recognize the toxic patterns in her own messy life and finally stand up for her rights. Or a young boy, hiding his sexuality from the world, might learn from your bold story of courage that love is love, and loving the same gender is not a crime like his country or culture makes him believe. Or a middle-aged man going through a financial and relationship crisis might relate to your hero’s vulnerability and finally stop putting up the “strong” act and take the therapeutic help he badly needs. 

So, we keep stringing one word with another, day after day, sharing our sad stories along with our happy ones, not because we believe life is all sorrows and pain, or an equal mix of happiness and sorrow, but because to every sad end, there is a happy beginning that succeeds it. We believe people are great not because they haven’t had any setbacks, but because they persevered despite the dark days, heartbreaks, failures, losses, and pain. Because, as storytellers, readers, and writers, all of us know that the long nights do end, and there is always light at the end of the tunnels.  

The great stories remind us that you are the main character in your story and it is still in progress; that heroes and villains both make mistakes, and the villain’s tragic flaw isn’t that he made mistakes but that he never learned from them and mended his ways. Even if you see yourself as an average Joe, maybe you have a #weaktostrong trope waiting for you. Even if you are an underdog, you are in luck because, in this story, an underdog rises from #ragstoriches. Even if you are an antihero now, there is a redemption curve that might make you a hero again. Even if you have failed and fallen into oblivion as a neglected side character or a foolish comedian just tolerated for occasional comic relief, maybe you are the biggest comeback story the world has yet to see. 

Fellow loser, underdog, average Joe, misfit, victim, you are not alone in this journey. Here’s one who is rooting for your story, even as she writes hers. I know you are the black sheep of your family. Probably, that daughter who is still struggling with her career or that son who still struggles to pay his bills or find a partner. Your stories of struggle and perseverance matter, not just the glossy stories of weddings, promotions, and vacations on social media, so do my random scribbles about bleak days.

Keep writing, keep striving, and keep sharing those not-so-glossy and even sad and dark stories. Let’s keep it real, for a change.

Blog: The Dream Me – Version #2024

“If I could wake up one day and choose to be anybody in the world, who would I be?” I mused one night.

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With thirty-one years of experience behind me, I know for a fact I wouldn’t want to be any of the celebrities, my friends, or my family members. It’s not because I don’t look up to them; I do, at least to some of them. But I know very well I’m best when I’m me. It’s me who I understand the most, and it’s me who baffles me the most; it’s a sweet spot of familiarity and strangeness.

Yet, I am not happy being me. There are things I want to change about myself. There are new skills and dimensions I want to acquire in my life: whether it’s my character, personality, or lifestyle.

For starters, I want to be a more hardworking and smart-working person.I want to be more consistent in my creative endeavors and personal relationships. I want to have healthy boundaries and be more assertive about it. I want to be more self-accepting even as I strive to be a better version of myself.There are a couple of skills I would love to learn. Things, I’m aware that even ten-year-old kids know these days, like cycling, driving, and cooking. I want to exercise every day. I enjoy walking, swimming, and dancing. I used to skate as a kid. I have done scuba diving once and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I would love to do it again. I would like to restart all these activities and also include new ones like yoga, meditation, gym workouts, weight training, and trekking into my weekly and monthly activity lists. Running a marathon is definitely one thing on my list: I have run a 2k and a 3k so far. The first 42km still feels like a humongous task. Boarding a flight and traveling to another country is something I would love to do. If possible, I would love to work in another country at least for a year. I want to learn to be on my own and to build a community there. Imagine finding your own tribe in a foreign country. I look forward to that. Writing another book: something I have been trying and failing since 2018, especially because I have succumbed to my everyday distractions. I have promised myself I will go low-key on social media and concentrate more on reading and writing this year. Let me see how that goes.

I can add a hundred more items to this list, but I think 8 is a good number. And if I had to choose just one thing from this list, I would choose point 8, because the Dream Me would still be a reader, book lover, and writer. For some strange reason, ever since I was a kid, I have always believed that writing would someday set me FREE, from everything that’s holding me back, from everything that hurts me, from everything that makes me feel unlovable. Let’s see how 2024 pans out. I will keep you guys posted.

Meanwhile, Happy New Year All! The world needs more love, kindness, hugs, and kisses, not wars or genocides. Let’s push for ceasefires, peace, and harmony.

Love,

Lirio

15th Jan 2024

The Dream Me – Version #2024

“If I could wake up one day and choose to be anybody in the world, who would I be?” I mused one night.

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With thirty-one years of experience behind me, I know for a fact I wouldn’t want to be any of the celebrities, my friends, or my family members. It’s not because I don’t look up to them; I do, at least to some of them. But I know very well I’m best when I’m me. It’s me who I understand the most, and it’s me who baffles me the most; it’s a sweet spot of familiarity and strangeness.

Yet, I am not happy being me. There are things I want to change about myself. There are new skills and dimensions I want to acquire in my life: whether it’s my character, personality, or lifestyle.

For starters, I want to be a more hardworking and smart-working person.I want to be more consistent in my creative endeavors and personal relationships. I want to have healthy boundaries and be more assertive about it. I want to be more self-accepting even as I strive to be a better version of myself.There are a couple of skills I would love to learn. Things, I’m aware that even ten-year-old kids know these days, like cycling, driving, and cooking. I want to exercise every day. I enjoy walking, swimming, and dancing. I used to skate as a kid. I have done scuba diving once and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I would love to do it again. I would like to restart all these activities and also include new ones like yoga, meditation, gym workouts, weight training, and trekking into my weekly and monthly activity lists. Running a marathon is definitely one thing on my list: I have run a 2k and a 3k so far. The first 42km still feels like a humongous task. Boarding a flight and traveling to another country is something I would love to do. If possible, I would love to work in another country at least for a year. I want to learn to be on my own and to build a community there. Imagine finding your own tribe in a foreign country. I look forward to that. Writing another book: something I have been trying and failing since 2018, especially because I have succumbed to my everyday distractions. I have promised myself I will go low-key on social media and concentrate more on reading and writing this year. Let me see how that goes.

I can add a hundred more items to this list, but I think 8 is a good number. And if I had to choose just one thing from this list, I would choose point 8, because the Dream Me would still be a reader, book lover, and writer. For some strange reason, ever since I was a kid, I have always believed that writing would someday set me FREE, from everything that’s holding me back, from everything that hurts me, from everything that makes me feel unlovable. Let’s see how 2024 pans out. I will keep you guys posted.

Meanwhile, Happy New Year All! The world needs more love, kindness, hugs, and kisses, not wars or genocides. Let’s push for ceasefires, peace, and harmony.

Love,

Lirio

15th Jan 2024

Poem: Reflections

But we have never seen ourselves
not our face, not our soul,
nor the thoughts in our mind
just the reflections,
just random clicks of a few moments,

between
what was captured and missed,
what was cherished and neglected,
what was filtered and accepted,
what was loved and shamed,
are we still ourselves
or have we toned down,
pretended, kept quiet,
lied, adjusted, tolerated
to keep the peace,
to love,
to hold on?
Is this truly us?
Are we happy?

Poem/Scribble: Reflections

But we have never seen ourselves
not our face, not our soul,
nor the thoughts in our mind
just the reflections,
just random clicks of a few moments,

between
what was captured and missed,
what was cherished and neglected,
what was filtered and accepted,
what was loved and shamed,
are we still ourselves
or have we toned down,
pretended, kept quiet,
lied, adjusted, tolerated
to keep the peace,
to love,
to hold on?
Is this truly us?
Are we happy?

Poem: Loving Again

I’ve hung my heart on the line again 

To and fro

To and fro 

It’s a battle of words once again

But this time 

Love trickles down 

And a bluejay quenches its thirst in a desert. 

Sun scorch on our old scars and traumas

We dust and broom our childhood stories

Scrubs the floors of our old love poems

Longing for hugs and warmth 

A little house to hold our love 

Little fish and cherry shrimp 

And green ferns and purple orchids

But only time will tell.

It’s him every day 

My mornings and nights 

And everything in between 

Will the world be kind?

Will it let us love?

What will hurt us this time – 

will it be time or distance

Or people or rules or us? 

We don’t know

We don’t know

We don’t say the words 

We don’t want to jinx it

Want to ward off evil eyes 

Want to ward off ill fates 

Touchwood 

We fear losing what we have 

We worry we met too late 

We worry we will never have enough time  

We have lost too much 

We have hurt too much, 

he and I,

we overthink even our happy days… 

Book Review: ‘Money What’s Left What’s Right: By the Accidental Millionaire’ by ‘Dhanashree Bhatkal’

This is a piece of embarrassing personal information. But still, I will share it since it is relevant to the context of the book I’m about to discuss – “Money What’s Left What’s Right: By the Accidental Millionaire” written by “Dhanashree Bhatkal.” Some time back, I broke down in front of my journal. My brother rushed in to check if I was okay. He works as an accountant, and he could clearly understand all the numbers and crisscrosses in my journal.

I had to open up to my brother about my struggling financial situation. My employer had not paid me for the last 2 months. I’m a freelancer who works on per project basis. Often the invoices take about a month to clear. My payments for the last 3 projects were pending with the employer. On top of that, I was chided by a family member for not having any savings when in reality, I had loaned him a large sum of money in the past, and he had never returned it. When I reminded him about it, he would often counter with – “That was a long time ago. I will definitely return it. Don’t you have any savings after that?” I had also loaned a small amount of money to one of my friends, who was not responding to my messages or picking up my calls. Though it is a small amount, if I had that money with me, I could have managed my daily expenses at least for a few days.

“You must get control of your money, or the lack of it will forever control you.” – Dave Ramsey

I broke down because despite working hard and having the best intentions for the people around me, I was always broke. And the same people I helped or confided in, ridiculed me for my financial choices. They scolded me for trusting other people with my money. And contradictorily, guilt tripped me to spend more money on my family or loved ones, calling me a miser. One of my family members summed it up in the most brutal way:
“Mol(daughter), you will never be rich. You only know how to work hard and make money. You don’t know how to save it.”

I took the above line as a challenge. I refuse to believe it. To be financially stable and independent is one of my important goals for 2023. While I make the hard daily choices towards that goal, I can definitely relate to the author of this book when she says, “Money problems are never about money.”

Many factors can stop us from making intelligent financial decisions
– For people like me, one of the biggest challenges is to make financial decisions based on logic and not out of emotions.
– Financial education is indispensable. As the writer says, “the reason why the rich get richer and the poor get poorer – lack of financial education, no access to correct advice and not being able to dip into the right opportunity.”
– We might even have to break away from our traditional or stereotypical thought processes that stop us from getting rich. For example, in my village, whenever a person becomes rich quickly, there are always these rumors that they might have used illegal means for it. We must acknowledge that in this world, it is possible to get rich in a short time without resorting to illegal means. Content creators on Youtube and stock traders are good examples of this.

I would recommend this book to anyone like me who is struggling with the emotional aspects of financial management. For a person like my brother, who is already making financially wise decisions without falling prey to his emotions, this book might not add more value. People like him should opt for serious financial books about stock trading or investments. This book is ideal for the beginners and amateurs like me who are still struggling for financial freedom and fulfilment.

A few quotes from the book:

“Money can buy (almost) everything.”

“Financial freedom is to generate, manage and retain money, and utilize it in the most optimal way to lead a healthy, joyous and happy life.”

“Money metabolism is two things. For one, it is how much goodness and value you can create in your life with every unit of money you spend. Second, it is the unit of your time and energy that you expend in order to generate each unit of money.”