Joe Clifford Faust's Blog, page 3
June 6, 2017
Final Days to Vote for The Smart One
The clock is running down to vote for my new novel, “The Smart One” for publication by Amazon’s Kindle Scout program. You can read a sample of the book here and then vote.
And if you’d like to know what you’re getting into, here’s a little video that gives a sort-of overview. Enjoy… and thanks in advance!
May 25, 2017
The Smart One Voting Continues
This is continuing the plug for my new novel The Smart One, which is now up for nomination on Amazon’s Kindle Scout program. As mentioned in previous posts (but repeated in case this is the first time you’re seeing this, if you vote for the book now you’ll get a free copy of the e-book if I’m accepted. Plus, you don’t need a Kindle proper to read the ebook as you can read it by putting the free Kindle app on your smart phone, tablet, or computer).
So here’s what you’ll miss by not reading The Smart One:
Chapter 13: “Ordinarily,” VanDoren said, “I’d say it was too early. But it’s never to early for free beer.”
Chapter 14: “You kidding me? For you the high moral ground is a cesspool.”
Chapter 15: The car full of chemical smell, the one you got from overheated brake fluid or whatever it was.
Chapter 16: “I would tell you your woman troubles are over,” Dink said. “But really they’re not.”
Chapter 17: “This one of those things, your wife needs medical marijuana but can’t get a prescription?”
Chapter 18: Dink was trying to figure out how to get six bags of Yoda shaped tater tots into the freezer.
Chapter 19 (Today – bonus length!): “I still got this kubaton. Maybe you remember, didn’t end well for you last time. It won’t this time either, you don’t leave.”
“Don’t be so mean little si—”
“Don’t call me that.” Tightening her grip.
“Ma’am.” He yelped it.
[image error]Previous posts of stuff from The Smart One:
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
More JCF madness:
Facebook, Twitter, and/or Google +)
To be continued…
May 24, 2017
The Smart One: What’s It All About?
A book trailer of sorts for my new novel, The Smart One. You can earn a free copy by voting for it here.
May 18, 2017
Another Shameless Plug for The Smart One
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Lucky you! This blog is likely the only way you’ve connected with me on social media, so you haven’t been bombarded with my daily reminders that (*ahem*) my novel The Smart One is now up for nomination on Amazon’s Kindle Scout program. It means I also haven’t been constantly re-iterating that you only have thirty days to vote (less than that now), that you’ll get a free copy of the e-book if I’m accepted, and that you don’t need a Kindle proper to read the book when you win it (you can use the free Kindle app on your smart phone, tablet, or computer).
And what you’ve missed in these little missives is that I’ve been posting micro-excerpts – one liners, really – from successive chapters of the book, picking up with chapter 6 (because I posted the first one two three four five chapters here already) (more than in the Kindle Scout excerpt!).
But because I like and appreciate my blog readers, too, I thought I’d take the opportunity to catch you up with the scintillating prose you’ve missed in my marketing efforts (and if you want to see this stuff in real time, you can connect with me via Facebook, Twitter, and/or Google +)
Here’s what you’ve missed:
Chapter 6: “Please. Next you’re going to tell me you’re on that caveman diet. You a hipster or something?”
Chapter 7: “Son, you know, Brad’s elevator, it does go to the top but has a lot of trouble getting there.”
Chapter 8: “Don’t you go all psycho on me. I was only checking up on you.”
Chapter 9: “I’m paying more than minimum, but not that much more. Christmas bonus a turkey and a bottle of scotch.”
Chapter 10: “But he always liked you, Dink. He said you were the smart one.”
Chapter 11: Dink wanting now to start hitting his head on the steering wheel to get him to stop, just stop.
Chapter 12 (Today – bonus length!): She reached in the pocket of the robe, pulled out a pack of Marlboros, pulled one out with her lips, offered him one.
Dink shook his head.
“What, you quit?”
“You knew?” Him being every bit of twelve when she was around.
“I was almost your mom. I wasn’t stupid. Well, you’re better off without them.”
With more to come in the following days…
May 12, 2017
No Kindle Required! (Sort of)
Apologies now as I will be obnoxious over the next 30 days. My latest novel, The Smart One, is up for nomination through the Kindle Scout program. Anyone who nominates the book will get a free e-copy for their Kindle if the book is chosen for publication.
I should add you don’t have to have a Kindle to read the book if you add the Kindle software to your smartphone or tablet.
Go to The Smart One on Kindle Scout
“Please. Next you’re going to tell me you’re on that caveman diet. You a hipster or something?” (Chapter 6)
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May 11, 2017
Vote for The Smart One!
It’s alive! For the next 30 days you can nominate my new novel #TheSmartOne for publication in the #KindleScout program, and if chosen, you’ll be given a free e-copy for your trouble. So flex your mouse-clicking fingers and let’s make this happen! #ShareIt
May 10, 2017
The Midnight Hour
At midnight this link goes live and you can vote for my new novel, The Smart One, in the Kindle Scout program. If it’s chosen for publication by Amazon, you’ll get a free Kindle copy when it’s officially released. And for you luddites, yes, there will be a paper version available…
(PS. In case of confusion for you subscribers, this site is being re-ported to the URL joecliffordfaust.wordpress.com.)
https://kindlescout.amazon.com/p/MCL386TP7QX4/
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May 9, 2017
November 10, 2016
#Calexit Diary, 2016 – 2020
I used to occasionally get paid for thinking about the future, and this whole #Calexit thing has tickled my fancy. So I decided to dust off those arcane skills and have a go at the old crystal ball. Here’s what I’m thinking.
NOVEMBER 2016 – Dissatisfied with the results of the election, many Californians begin a movement to break off from the United States.
MARCH 2017 – The initiative to secede appears on the primary ballot and passes. Succession is to take place within the year.
JUNE 2017 – The northern part of the former California decides that they have never been properly represented by the urban south, and vote to break off and go back to the United States.
AUGUST 2017 – In their first election, the new nation tries to decide their name, whether or not to have an army, what the flag and national anthem should be, and if Aaron Sorkin should write their new constitution. There are so many initiatives on the new ballot that voting takes two hours per person.
SEPTEMBER 2017 – Election finishes and results that come in at the month’s end are inconclusive. Everyone wants to do their own thing, man. The new nation immediately splits into 37 sub-nations, known collectively as, um, The Collective.
OCTOBER 2017 – Hillary Clinton invited to be the first Presydent of The Collective.
DECEMBER 2017 – The Winter Solstice is chosen as the first day of the Presydential Term and the beginning of the new nation. The party begins!
FEBRUARY 2018 – The party finally winds down.
MARCH 2018 – The last of the hangovers finally clear, in time for the first anniversary of the birth of The Collective. The party begins again.
APRIL 2018 – Fryncysco declares itself the world’s first micro-aggression free zone.
JULY 2018 – President Trump cancels the wall between the former California and Mexico and extends it between Arizona and The Collective and Upper California and The Collective.
AUGUST 2018 – In their second election, The Collective legalizes objectophilia. Toastersexuals from around the world rejoice and flock to The Collective.
DECEMBER 2018 – The first anniversary of The Collective. Party!
MARCH 2019 – As hangovers clear, the next election declares December a holiday month and January a work-option month for recovery.
MAY 2019 – Presydent Clinton’s progressive Parkinson’s disease makes it difficult for her to rule. Her brain is transplanted into a new body grown from fetal stem cells. The new Presydent immediately receives more than 6,000 marriage proposals, even some from toastersexuals.
JULY 2019 – The last taxable business in The Collective goes under. In an emergency election that lasts through August, The Collective votes to become The Commune. It’s a groovy thing.
SEPTEMBER 2019 – Incessant partying has driven the price of legal weed up to $120 a joint. Protesters take to the streets. Presydent Clinton assures them that everything will be cool, and they all go home.
NOVEMBER 2019 – A Chinese submarine lands a small scouting party of troops on a beach near Los Angylys. After 48 hours of reconnaissance they return to the sub and nothing further is heard from China.
JANUARY 2020 – Democrats in the U.S. invite Michelle Obama to come back from The Commune and run for President. She considers it.
FEBRUARY 2020 – Texas considers succession if Michelle Obama becomes President. They look at how The Commune turned out and change their minds.
MARCH 2020 – Michelle Obama turns the Democrats down. Her new body is still in the growth chamber.
APRIL 2020 – U.S. Border Patrol guards along The Commune wall report it’s been awfully quiet in there.
MAY 5, 2020 – Mexico annexes The Commune.
March 1, 2016
Cicadas and firearms and stolen doughnuts…
…and more. For those of you still not on the bandwagon, the Kindle version of Drawing Down the Moon is on sale for $1.99. Get it before they run out! Oh, wait, it’s an e-book. They won’t run out. What kind of call to action is that? Anyway, just buy the thing. I’m about to submit another book to them and want my sales figures to look as good as possible. And you want to read that next book, right?
