Les Edgerton's Blog, page 29
January 27, 2014
Dana King's review of THE BITCH and words from Ken Bruen
Hi folks,
The reviews keep coming in and I'm stoked. Here's one that one of my favorite writers, Dana King, just published on his blog, One Bite at a Time.
One Bite at a Time
A humble writer, with much to be humble about2013 was a good year. Kudos for Grind Joint included:Woody Haut named it one of the fifteen best noir reads in the LA Review of books.Spinetingler Magazine cited it as among the best crime fiction of 2013The Bitch is a fascinating story of how close any of us might be to the edge, where a single event could change our lives forever for the worse. True, few of us are twice-convicted felons, but it’s only the scale of Jake’s misfortune that differs. We’re all one phone call--chance meeting, lost job, medical emergency, car crash, random act of violence—away from a situation where every option is a bad one, and the most likely favorable outcome is to slow the rate at which your life circles the toilet while hoping for a miracle. Read The Bitch. If it doesn’t affect you on multiple levels, read it again. You weren’t paying attention the first time.
Thanks, Dana! He made a prescient observation when he compared it to Scott Smith's A SIMPLE PLAN. That's how this novel came to be, actually. Some years ago, my then-agent Jimmy Vines asked me to write a novel along the lines of Smith's book and this was the result. I'm so glad he didn't ask me to write one along the lines of LITTLE WOMEN... That would have been difficult...
If the folks here are looking for some great noir and/or thrillers, check out any of Dana's books--they're superb!
Blue skies,Les
P.S. This morning, along with seeing this review, I received an email from the great Ken Bruen who had just read THE BITCH and THE RAPIST and, while I hadn't asked him for a blurb--I sent him these two books (via an intro from mutual buddy Larry DeVore) and simply because I just wanted to get on his radar because I respect him so much as a writer--here's what he wrote:
Dear Les
Thank you so much for the books and the superb novels.You sure have lived the life and have a nice light touch in describing it.I loved the novels.Here is my blurb Les Edgerton is the reincarnation of our beloved Eddie Bunker.The writing is as tough and tender as Bunker with that wonderful sense of dry humour that underpins even the most violent of scenes.This guy can write and like a focused Bukowski.Make no mistake, here is the real deal.The books cry out for movie deals. Warmest wishesKen If you catch me this morning, you'll see me with a grin from ear to ear that I can't wipe off!
The reviews keep coming in and I'm stoked. Here's one that one of my favorite writers, Dana King, just published on his blog, One Bite at a Time.
One Bite at a Time
A humble writer, with much to be humble about2013 was a good year. Kudos for Grind Joint included:Woody Haut named it one of the fifteen best noir reads in the LA Review of books.Spinetingler Magazine cited it as among the best crime fiction of 2013The Bitch is a fascinating story of how close any of us might be to the edge, where a single event could change our lives forever for the worse. True, few of us are twice-convicted felons, but it’s only the scale of Jake’s misfortune that differs. We’re all one phone call--chance meeting, lost job, medical emergency, car crash, random act of violence—away from a situation where every option is a bad one, and the most likely favorable outcome is to slow the rate at which your life circles the toilet while hoping for a miracle. Read The Bitch. If it doesn’t affect you on multiple levels, read it again. You weren’t paying attention the first time.
Thanks, Dana! He made a prescient observation when he compared it to Scott Smith's A SIMPLE PLAN. That's how this novel came to be, actually. Some years ago, my then-agent Jimmy Vines asked me to write a novel along the lines of Smith's book and this was the result. I'm so glad he didn't ask me to write one along the lines of LITTLE WOMEN... That would have been difficult...
If the folks here are looking for some great noir and/or thrillers, check out any of Dana's books--they're superb!
Blue skies,Les
P.S. This morning, along with seeing this review, I received an email from the great Ken Bruen who had just read THE BITCH and THE RAPIST and, while I hadn't asked him for a blurb--I sent him these two books (via an intro from mutual buddy Larry DeVore) and simply because I just wanted to get on his radar because I respect him so much as a writer--here's what he wrote:
Dear Les
Thank you so much for the books and the superb novels.You sure have lived the life and have a nice light touch in describing it.I loved the novels.Here is my blurb Les Edgerton is the reincarnation of our beloved Eddie Bunker.The writing is as tough and tender as Bunker with that wonderful sense of dry humour that underpins even the most violent of scenes.This guy can write and like a focused Bukowski.Make no mistake, here is the real deal.The books cry out for movie deals. Warmest wishesKen If you catch me this morning, you'll see me with a grin from ear to ear that I can't wipe off!
January 26, 2014
Review of THE BITCH from Keith Nixon on Big Al's Books and Pals blog
Hi folks,
Just got another great review from Keith Nixon on Big Al's Books and Pals!
Big Al's Books and Pals Sunday, January 26, 2014
Reviewed by: Keith Nixon
Genre:Crime Fiction / Noir
Approximate word count: 80-85,000 words
Availability Kindle US: YES UK: YES Nook: NO Smashwords: NO Paper: YESClick on a YES above to go to appropriate page in Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Smashwords store
Author:
Les Edgerton is the author of fifteen books. He is an ex-con and served two years for a single charge of burglary, reduced from 182, two strong-arm robberies, an armed robbery, and a count of possession with intent to deal. Today, he's completely reformed. Prior to this Les served in the U.S. Navy as a cryptographer during the Cuban Crisis and the beginning of the Vietnam War.
After making parole Les obtained a B.A. from Indiana University and then received his MFA in Writing (Fiction) from Vermont College. He teaches workshops nationwide on writing. Born in Texas, Les now lives in Indiana with his family.
You can learn more about the author at his blog.
Description:
Jake Bishop is on the straight and narrow. His prison sentence is a long way behind him. Life is good. He’s married and is about to start his own business. But then an old cell mate, Walker Joy, arrives on the scene. He once saved Jake’s life and is demanding repayment in the shape of a burglary he needs help pulling. The problem for Jake is The Bitch – the three strikes and you’re out rule. He can’t say yes, but he daren’t say no…
Appraisal:
This is the third Les Edgerton book I’ve read and reviewed. All have been different in style. The others, The Rapist and Just Like That both started with a bang. However The Bitch is more of a slow burn. Jake initially meets Walker out of a sense of duty and friendship (a theme that runs throughout the novel) but soon discovers he’s been betrayed. In prison Jake told Walker about a couple of crimes he hadn’t been caught for and Walker (a less than reputable and trustworthy individual) spilled them to a jeweler friend, Spencer. It’s Spencer who wants the robbery to go ahead and he uses every means to rope Jake in – including falsely accusing Jake’s brother of a crime.
What’s particularly smart about The Bitch is the steady ramp up of tension and pressure with every chapter as Jake gets drawn deeper and deeper in. As he spills from one event to another nothing goes quite right, so the implications steadily increase – from robbery, to kidnap and eventually to murder. Jake is trying to find a way of getting his old life back and keeping his misdeeds from his wife. But he can’t.
As previously mentioned relationships are absolutely key to The Bitch. Good and bad. Towards the end Edgerton reveals why Jake couldn’t simply stroll away from Walker, he owes him a lot. Edgerton also takes Jake’s options away one by one to the point that there’s a sad inevitability about the ending, like a car crash you can see coming, but can’t and don’t want to avoid.
This is a really enjoyable story. Very well written and highly compelling. The characters are strong, the dialogue rough and tough. Well worth picking up.
FYI:
Some swearing.
Format/Typo Issues:
None.
Rating: ***** Five Stars
Labels: 5 Star, Crime Fiction, fiction, Noir
Thanks, Keith--I really appreciate this and am delighted that you liked it.
Blue skies,
Les
January 23, 2014
New Amazon Reviews of THE BITCH and THE RAPIST
Hi folks,
Just wanted to share a few recent Amazon reviews of my novels THE BITCH and THE RAPIST. Hope you enjoy ‘em. I sure did!
For THE BITCH
By M. P. Vernon(Blythe, CA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME) This review is from: The Bitch (Paperback) "The Bitch. Three strikes and you're out. Ha-bitch-ual criminal. One more pop and I knew the judge would be peering down at me over his wireframes and saying, "Jacob Bishop, I hereby sentence you to life imprisonment. Have a nice day, loser."
And in one paragraph. Les Edgerton not only explains the title but sets the stage for his crime noir masterpiece about bad choices and even worse consequences.
The premise is a common enough one. ex-con Jacob Bishop. with two strikes against him, gets out of prison, falls in love and gets his life together. He and his pregnant wife are about ready to open their own business when his old cell mate shows up with a proposition involving a heist. It's bad enough that Jacob owes his friend for saving his life but other secrets are out too and blackmail is not out of the question.
From that point on, the dominoes fall and Jacob is in over his head...perhaps. Edgerton has not set up the most original plot, yet this book stands about the others in one major way. I dislike novels where the protagonists continue to make stupid illogical choices. Jacob's decisions may be stupid but they are not illogical. They fit well in the mindset of the characters and the situations they are presented. They fell real and logical based on the fact they are the making the best decisions in the best, if corrupted and unhealthy, way they know how. This is something I know a little about, having worked with parolees and probationers. As wild as the action gets, I felt it could happen. Perhaps a few too many people coincidentally end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. Also his girl friend maybe falls in line a little too easy. Yet these are minor annoyances considering how riveting the novel is and how well the action and consequences flow.
Edgerton has a gritty style and excels in the street wise, prison accented dialog that permeates this tale. This is one of those story that never let up. I think I put th book down once to answer the phone but that was it. It has an almost perfect ending. Some may think it is a little too open and sudden but I thought it was just right. With one novel, Edgerton has entered my short list of favorite suspense thriller writers, including Charlie Huston and Joe R. Lansdale and he is giving hard-nosed icons like Mickey Spillane a run for the money.
A word or two about the publisher. This was the second book I've read from New Pulp Press. The other one was Last of the Smoking Bartenders by C. J. Howell. New Pulp Press seems to specialize in thrillers and suspense with a literary bent. Emphasis on the word "literary". From the two books I've read, I can say it is an exceptional small publishing company and it would be worthwhile to keep a eye on them...not to mention checking out their past inventory.
5.0 out of 5 stars Holy Crap!, December 18, 2013 By Liam Sweeny - See all my reviewsThis review is from: The Bitch (Kindle Edition) I received an advanced chance to read this. I'm lucky, and I'll be buying it. Just because.
Les Edgerton's "The Bitch" is about Jake Bishop, a two-time felon with a Bitch dangling around his neck: Ha-BITCH-ual criminal, two strikes and one away from life without parole in Indiana's Correctional System. With a new business in the works, a loving wife and a baby on the way, Jake feels the glow of the sun, a chance to be a "straight" (law-abiding citizen).
But then he gets the call from Walker Joy.
Former cellmate and trusted inside-friend, Walker is out and back to tricks. He's in a bind, and Jake owes him. Walker's in with Sydney Spencer, a shady black market jeweler, and there's a "piece of cake" job that Jake is uniquely suited to do. But Jake's tasted the dawn, and as the darkness begins to creep up at his heels he wants to run. Jake soon finds that running's not as easy as it should be, and with the Bitch hanging over his head, the night looms.
There is so much to this book. It's the perspective. It's the sublime wisdom embedded in Jake's narration. It's the madness that you can taste as Edgerton guides you through twists and turns that stain the carpets and trunk liners. It's the little things that throw you because the story keeps you looking the other way. It makes Jake's descent real.
Edgerton's style is dynamic, never giving you the time to get easy with the drudgery of getting through some passage. I had to re-read a paragraph or two because I was still stunned by the one sentence that came before it. Yeah, it's that kind of book.
Read it on a day off. Clear the day. Put on a pot of coffee. Trust me.
I will recommend The Bitch to anyone who's capable of enjoying darkness, or just a good book. I would also recommend this to anyone thinking of a life of crime.
Recent reviews of THE RAPIST
5.0 out of 5 stars Genius!, January 22, 2014 By W.J. Whaley - See all my reviewsAmazon Verified Purchase(What's this?) This review is from: The Rapist (Kindle Edition) This book is simply genius. Genius to the point that I find it trying to even write a review worthy enough to describe said genius. I knew Les Edgerton was good, but DANG! This book demonstrated his abilities on a whole other level.
I won’t lie. When I saw the title of the book there was a little apprehension on my part to make the purchase. The cover is quite troubling, and the title….well I think that speaks for itself. However, being a big Edgerton fan, I knew I had to take the plunge. I am damn happy I did!
The protagonist, Truman Pinter, is a rapist, sociopath, and essentially a guy you will absolutely despise. Edgerton writes this character in way that should be studied by future and current authors. In fact, after reading the book, I am not at all surprised Les writes self-help books on the craft of writing.
The Rapist is a must read book. It’s flawlessly written, and the ending will leave you speechless.
5.0 out of 5 stars Made me think about things in new and interesting ways, November 26, 2013
By Deb (South Florida) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Rapist (Paperback)
To me, this was an interesting journey through a man's thoughts about himself, his perceptions of our world and himself in it and humanity. Several times I paused to think on what I'd read. It was often like looking through a kaleidoscope and having it turned, with new perspective awaiting me.
5.0 out of 5 stars Dynamic literature, you'll want to read more than once!, December 31, 2013 By Chloe - See all my reviewsThis review is from: The Rapist (Kindle Edition) Wowza!
This is not my first Les Edgerton novel, but one I procrastinated about reading. If I like an author's style and storytelling ability, I rarely read reviews, etc., and just plunge into their latest writing. Mr. Edgerton is the master of "The Hook" and even though the title didn't appeal to me, the moment I began reading Greek Mythology and literary references intertwined within Truman Pinter's condescending narrative addressing simple-minded readers, I couldn't close my Kindle. Other readers were likely hooked by a desire to know whether or not this death row inmate had actually committed the crime for which he is awaiting a firing squad. I've learned to never expect the same ole, same ole read from Mr. Edgerton, but The Rapist totally blew me away because I expected NOT to like it due to my own misconception. The rape from which the title is drawn, received only a fraction of mention in this dynamic piece of literature.
Succinctly told without relying on dramatic tricks, this novella is in itself a dramatic character study destined to leave each reader with unique opinion. I had to utilize my Kindle Thesaurus a few times, so once again I gained greater education via an extraordinary novel - or novella in this case. The Rapist contains a plethora of brilliant references, and on my second read I realized I'd missed a few due to becoming absorbed in the arrogance of protagonist, Pinter.
I'm not a polished reviewer, so I'll just say, WOWZA! This thought provoking body of work leaves readers with diverse conclusions, yet I believe most feel gratification and a resurrection of intellect. Go. Buy. Savor!
5.0 out of 5 stars Lures with prurient interest, leads to the profound., December 19, 2013 By Vicki L. Gundrum(San Francisco) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME) Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?) This review is from: The Rapist (Paperback) Les Edgerton’s The Rapist lures through prurient interest of a heinous crime and the promise to peek into the mind of the rapist. The rapist, Truman, is unrepentant, even spiteful and arrogant toward those who would judge him. He is a condemned man, sits in a cell awaiting execution. He recalls his crime and his hates, even an infant hate. Complexity and contradiction nudge their way in. (Is there an app for that? Did the Kindle brighten a bit? What am I reading here? What happens to a soul?) Edgerton tracks Truman’s thoughts and dreams, which are unusual and particular—in this way creating an uncanny realism of an individual mind. The book evokes consideration of art and life. It does not debate right and wrong but aims higher: the possibility of salvation.
The book is profound yet easy to read. It begins as smut, some pages feel dirty. It is a slim book with a tightly woven narrative of surprises, ideas, even jokes. There would never be a love child between Henry Miller and Albert Camus but such an invention comes to mind for the book is one of a kind.
My heartfelt thanks to all the folks who’ve contributed a review.
Blue skies,Les
January 22, 2014
MARK MATTHEWS' Review of THE BITCH--Five Stars
Hi folks,Here's another review of THE BITCH that just came out on Mark Matthews' blog, Running, Writing and Chasing the Dragon: Wednesday, January 22, 2014
First off, I should note that the title "The Bitch" is in reference to the main character's fear of being labeled a "Ha-Bitch-ual" criminal. More on that later. Here's the premise:
Ex-con Jake Bishop is several years past his second stint in prison and has completely reformed. He’s married, expecting a child, and preparing to open his own hair salon. But then an old cellmate re-enters his life begging for a favor: to help him with a burglary. Forced by his code of ethics to perform the crime, Jake’s once idyllic life quickly plunges into an abyss. Jake soon realizes that there is only one way out of this purgatory . . . and it may rupture his soul beyond repair.
Sure, you may have seen this done before: Ex-con trying to fly straight and be a family man gets called back into the lifestyle. But this author does it so well that it never gets trite. Feels like true crime, with a language that is never forced.
The tension escalated beautifully. Unpredictable, yet always getting higher, like the tick, tick, ticking noise you hear the roller coaster make as you climb that first hill. You weren't sure what twist it was going to take, only that the author showed so much skill you would trust it would be somewhere interesting. You get to know the main character so well, that it's hard not to take him out of the book and back home with you.
As far as the title referring to the legal implications of being labeled a "Ha-Bitch-ual" criminal, I don't think the author would mind you thinking otherwise. In some ways, the main character lets his past make him his bitch, so to speak, by trying to live by the code of his old world and be happy in the new. Likewise, his wife, tries a 'cross-over' with similar results. There is moral ambiguity here and a value system that the main character has that you don't have to admire, but you will certainly feel it along the way. As the main character, Jake, goes rifling through what to do next, you want to scream out to him, "Dude, did you realize you just ((spoiler alert)) how are you going to shoot a move through this one?"
I have to believe that crime fiction speaks to the voyeur in all of us. The part who want to know how criminals live and what they think. And the best crime fiction makes us realize they are one of us, or we are one of them. We find ourselves identifying with the character at some parts, wishing they had more of a moral compass at other parts. We may get disgusted at their choices, other times we may just wish they'd be more slick and get away with it. All of these things and more crossed my mind as I committed crimes alongside Jake and Walker.
Read this for the story, for the plot, for the characters, and for the concise as a concrete slab prose. If you are lucky like me, you can read it at your parents cottage, isolated, surrounded by snow, which was exactly the setting the characters found themselves in as they tried to cover the tracks of their misdeeds. I was able to go home and live happily ever after with my family. The characters of this book may have not been so lucky.
Thank you, Mark! The reviews are starting to mount up and sales have been terrific!
Blue skies,
Les
First off, I should note that the title "The Bitch" is in reference to the main character's fear of being labeled a "Ha-Bitch-ual" criminal. More on that later. Here's the premise:
Ex-con Jake Bishop is several years past his second stint in prison and has completely reformed. He’s married, expecting a child, and preparing to open his own hair salon. But then an old cellmate re-enters his life begging for a favor: to help him with a burglary. Forced by his code of ethics to perform the crime, Jake’s once idyllic life quickly plunges into an abyss. Jake soon realizes that there is only one way out of this purgatory . . . and it may rupture his soul beyond repair.
Sure, you may have seen this done before: Ex-con trying to fly straight and be a family man gets called back into the lifestyle. But this author does it so well that it never gets trite. Feels like true crime, with a language that is never forced.
The tension escalated beautifully. Unpredictable, yet always getting higher, like the tick, tick, ticking noise you hear the roller coaster make as you climb that first hill. You weren't sure what twist it was going to take, only that the author showed so much skill you would trust it would be somewhere interesting. You get to know the main character so well, that it's hard not to take him out of the book and back home with you.
As far as the title referring to the legal implications of being labeled a "Ha-Bitch-ual" criminal, I don't think the author would mind you thinking otherwise. In some ways, the main character lets his past make him his bitch, so to speak, by trying to live by the code of his old world and be happy in the new. Likewise, his wife, tries a 'cross-over' with similar results. There is moral ambiguity here and a value system that the main character has that you don't have to admire, but you will certainly feel it along the way. As the main character, Jake, goes rifling through what to do next, you want to scream out to him, "Dude, did you realize you just ((spoiler alert)) how are you going to shoot a move through this one?"
I have to believe that crime fiction speaks to the voyeur in all of us. The part who want to know how criminals live and what they think. And the best crime fiction makes us realize they are one of us, or we are one of them. We find ourselves identifying with the character at some parts, wishing they had more of a moral compass at other parts. We may get disgusted at their choices, other times we may just wish they'd be more slick and get away with it. All of these things and more crossed my mind as I committed crimes alongside Jake and Walker.
Read this for the story, for the plot, for the characters, and for the concise as a concrete slab prose. If you are lucky like me, you can read it at your parents cottage, isolated, surrounded by snow, which was exactly the setting the characters found themselves in as they tried to cover the tracks of their misdeeds. I was able to go home and live happily ever after with my family. The characters of this book may have not been so lucky.
Thank you, Mark! The reviews are starting to mount up and sales have been terrific!
Blue skies,
Les
January 20, 2014
SCOTT ADLERBERG'S MYSTERIOUS ISLAND: The Bitch by Les Edgerton
SCOTT ADLERBERG'S MYSTERIOUS ISLAND: The Bitch by Les Edgerton: I'm a huge admirer of Les Edgerton's novel THE RAPIST, so when I started his novel THE BITCH, I had high expectations. Not that I w...
Hi folks,
Well... today's the day! The day my novel THE BITCH launches from New Pulp Press. And, here's the first review from author Scott Adlerberg and it's a corker!
SCOTT ADLERBERG'S MYSTERIOUS ISLAND
On Books, Writing, Movies, and Whatever Else.
Monday, January 20, 2014The Bitch by Les Edgerton
I'm a huge admirer of Les Edgerton's novel THE RAPIST, so when I started
his novel THE BITCH, I had high expectations. Not that I was expecting
to read a book remotely like THE RAPIST, a masterpiece of the darkest
type of existential crime fiction, but I had little doubt that I'd be in
the hands of a crime fiction practitioner par excellence. How pleasant
it is when your expectations are met, when a writer you've set the
highest standard for meets that standard and exceeds it.
THE BITCH is about Jake Bishop, an ex-con in Indiana who has a lovely young wife, a baby on the way, and a teenaged brother he's caring for. Jake was once a burglar, but since his last stint in jail, he has done his best to stay straight. And he's
succeeded. He has a trade - he's a hairstylist in a salon - and he has
ambition: he and his wife are saving money to start their own salon. He
used to drink too much but hasn't fallen off the wagon in a long time.
Things seem pretty good. Of course, in a book like this, in noir land,
if things seem okay, you know they won't be okay for long. Everything
will turn sour quickly. And for Jake life begins to rot the day his old
cellmate turns up asking him for a favor. The cellmate's name is Walker
Joy, and from the moment Bishop makes the mistake of letting Joy back
into his life, Bishop experiences precious little of that particular
word.
It's no secret that Les Edgerton did time himself, years ago. And in all Jake's thoughts and descriptions about jail there is an authenticity that I'm sure in part derives from
Edgerton's experience. But living through something and writing about
it are two entirely different things, and what makes THE BITCH such a
great read is Edgerton's flat-out skill. Though he may be drawing upon
past experience for his raw material, it's the imagination he applies to
that material and the substantial craft he wields that make
this book work. THE BITCH is a novel that unfolds in a way both
entirely plausible and heavily plotted, no small feat. There are twists
and turns galore, yet nothing that happens seems forced or arbitrary.
Indeed, while reading the novel, I felt as if I was reading a textbook
example of a particular type of noir story. It's the crime story where
one wrong decision by the main character, just one, is enough to send
his entire life sliding downhill. It doesn't matter if the decision
is based on an honorable intention. Bishop knows helping Walker is not
the wisest decision, but he feels he owes the man because Walker helped
him a lot in prison. Walker even saved his life in prison. Naturally, Walker
brings up this debt, and that's where he hooks Bishop. Never mind that
the debt is related to prison garbage that has nothing to do with the
outside world. Bishop feels he must honor it. His sense of having a
cellmate code, his loyalty to the past - these are his weaknesses. He
agrees to help Walker and from that instant, the die is cast. THE BITCH
unfolds like a nightmare after that; a mixture of bad judgment, small
lies, mental errors, and plain old bad luck enfold Bishop in a web of
deceit and criminal acts that threaten to destroy everything he's built
since he last got released from prison. It's almost as if, his
statements to the contrary, he can't wait to go back to jail.
And who exactly is the Bitch? Whatis the Bitch? It's not a woman, I can tell you that, because no woman dreamt up by a man, even a women-fearing man, could be as terrifying as this sucker. The Bitch pertains to something relevant for a repeat
offender like Jake, and it hangs over his every move like the oppressive
hand of Fate. Does he control anything? The thing in life he least
wants to do is return to prison, and nearly everything he does as his
situation worsens he does to avoid returning to prison, but the image of
the Bitch plagues his thoughts night and day. He struggles against the
magnetic pull of the Bitch, and though we don't want to get optimistic
reading a work of noir like this, we hope against hope that he can
resolve his situation well. For the duration of the book, I was rooting
for Jake to pull off the seemingly impossible, and that I cared so much
for him is a testament to Edgerton's ability to make you understand
Jake. You understand everything that makes him tick, and despite his
actions, you sympathize with him. You're willing to forgive him almost
anything to see him escape the vise he's in.
If I were teaching a course on literary noir, THE BITCH is a book I'd choose for class study. It's perfectly constructed and has nary a wasted word. It's a stark tale of a man
fighting as hard as he can against himself, the world, Nature, Fate; and
it's a book that, once started, you don't want to put down. It's the
kind of book an old Hollywood master like Fritz Lang would have made a
great film from, and I can only hope someone in today's film biz still
reads novels and finds this one. Finds it, and then decides to adapt
it. It would make a wonderful movie. And by the way, while I'm at it,
let me throw out a word of thanks to New Pulp Press for re-issuing this.
THE BITCH deserves a wide audience.
Thank you so much, Scott! This was a wonderful way to start my day! And, sorry for the jumbled way it appeared here--my bad entirely! I did a cut and paste and this is the way it turned out and I'm a total doofus in doing things like this.
Click on the cover for ordering info--it's available both as an ebook and as a paperback.
Blue skies,
Les
Hi folks,
Well... today's the day! The day my novel THE BITCH launches from New Pulp Press. And, here's the first review from author Scott Adlerberg and it's a corker!
SCOTT ADLERBERG'S MYSTERIOUS ISLAND
On Books, Writing, Movies, and Whatever Else.
Monday, January 20, 2014The Bitch by Les Edgerton
I'm a huge admirer of Les Edgerton's novel THE RAPIST, so when I started
his novel THE BITCH, I had high expectations. Not that I was expecting
to read a book remotely like THE RAPIST, a masterpiece of the darkest
type of existential crime fiction, but I had little doubt that I'd be in
the hands of a crime fiction practitioner par excellence. How pleasant
it is when your expectations are met, when a writer you've set the
highest standard for meets that standard and exceeds it.
THE BITCH is about Jake Bishop, an ex-con in Indiana who has a lovely young wife, a baby on the way, and a teenaged brother he's caring for. Jake was once a burglar, but since his last stint in jail, he has done his best to stay straight. And he's
succeeded. He has a trade - he's a hairstylist in a salon - and he has
ambition: he and his wife are saving money to start their own salon. He
used to drink too much but hasn't fallen off the wagon in a long time.
Things seem pretty good. Of course, in a book like this, in noir land,
if things seem okay, you know they won't be okay for long. Everything
will turn sour quickly. And for Jake life begins to rot the day his old
cellmate turns up asking him for a favor. The cellmate's name is Walker
Joy, and from the moment Bishop makes the mistake of letting Joy back
into his life, Bishop experiences precious little of that particular
word.
It's no secret that Les Edgerton did time himself, years ago. And in all Jake's thoughts and descriptions about jail there is an authenticity that I'm sure in part derives from
Edgerton's experience. But living through something and writing about
it are two entirely different things, and what makes THE BITCH such a
great read is Edgerton's flat-out skill. Though he may be drawing upon
past experience for his raw material, it's the imagination he applies to
that material and the substantial craft he wields that make
this book work. THE BITCH is a novel that unfolds in a way both
entirely plausible and heavily plotted, no small feat. There are twists
and turns galore, yet nothing that happens seems forced or arbitrary.
Indeed, while reading the novel, I felt as if I was reading a textbook
example of a particular type of noir story. It's the crime story where
one wrong decision by the main character, just one, is enough to send
his entire life sliding downhill. It doesn't matter if the decision
is based on an honorable intention. Bishop knows helping Walker is not
the wisest decision, but he feels he owes the man because Walker helped
him a lot in prison. Walker even saved his life in prison. Naturally, Walker
brings up this debt, and that's where he hooks Bishop. Never mind that
the debt is related to prison garbage that has nothing to do with the
outside world. Bishop feels he must honor it. His sense of having a
cellmate code, his loyalty to the past - these are his weaknesses. He
agrees to help Walker and from that instant, the die is cast. THE BITCH
unfolds like a nightmare after that; a mixture of bad judgment, small
lies, mental errors, and plain old bad luck enfold Bishop in a web of
deceit and criminal acts that threaten to destroy everything he's built
since he last got released from prison. It's almost as if, his
statements to the contrary, he can't wait to go back to jail.
And who exactly is the Bitch? Whatis the Bitch? It's not a woman, I can tell you that, because no woman dreamt up by a man, even a women-fearing man, could be as terrifying as this sucker. The Bitch pertains to something relevant for a repeat
offender like Jake, and it hangs over his every move like the oppressive
hand of Fate. Does he control anything? The thing in life he least
wants to do is return to prison, and nearly everything he does as his
situation worsens he does to avoid returning to prison, but the image of
the Bitch plagues his thoughts night and day. He struggles against the
magnetic pull of the Bitch, and though we don't want to get optimistic
reading a work of noir like this, we hope against hope that he can
resolve his situation well. For the duration of the book, I was rooting
for Jake to pull off the seemingly impossible, and that I cared so much
for him is a testament to Edgerton's ability to make you understand
Jake. You understand everything that makes him tick, and despite his
actions, you sympathize with him. You're willing to forgive him almost
anything to see him escape the vise he's in.
If I were teaching a course on literary noir, THE BITCH is a book I'd choose for class study. It's perfectly constructed and has nary a wasted word. It's a stark tale of a man
fighting as hard as he can against himself, the world, Nature, Fate; and
it's a book that, once started, you don't want to put down. It's the
kind of book an old Hollywood master like Fritz Lang would have made a
great film from, and I can only hope someone in today's film biz still
reads novels and finds this one. Finds it, and then decides to adapt
it. It would make a wonderful movie. And by the way, while I'm at it,
let me throw out a word of thanks to New Pulp Press for re-issuing this.
THE BITCH deserves a wide audience.
Thank you so much, Scott! This was a wonderful way to start my day! And, sorry for the jumbled way it appeared here--my bad entirely! I did a cut and paste and this is the way it turned out and I'm a total doofus in doing things like this.
Click on the cover for ordering info--it's available both as an ebook and as a paperback.
Blue skies,
Les
January 18, 2014
INTERVIEW WITH RENATO BRATKOVIC on RADIKALNEWS
Hi folks,
Just did an interview with Renato Bratkovic on his blog RADIKALNEWS.
Here's the interview:
A Conversation With Les Edgerton
I am both pleased and honored to have a chance to ask Les Edgerton a couple of questions. Les doesn’t need any introduction, as he is a well known fiction writer (The Rapist, Just Like That, Gumbo Ya-Ya: Stories, and The Bitch that comes out on January 20th), always ready to support his fellow writers and who also kindly shares his knowledge of the craft (Finding Your Voice: How to Put Personality in Your Writing, Hooked: Write Fiction That Grabs Readers at Page One & Never Lets Them Go). There’s another writer that I think of, when I see or hear Les – the great late Eddie Bunker, who’s also been there and seen things and … yeah, written about them, although Les tells stories with his own voice and a comparison is made only out of respect. Check his author blog to learn about writing, and – of course – the Amazonto buy his books.
Hi, Les, it’s an honor to have you here – can you tell us a bit about yourself with your own words please?
Thanks for having me, Renato—it’s an honor… and promises to be fun!
I guess to begin with—I’m an ex-con who’s now reformed and has taken a vow of poverty—become a writer. I’m no longer ‘in the life’ not because I’ve had some ‘come to Jesus’ moment, but because I’ve been to prison and don’t have much of a burning desire to return. So far, no crimes have presented themselves with enough upside that I’d consider worth the risk should things go south. If one did, I wouldn’t consult a minister to make a decision—I’d just weigh the pros and cons. It would have to be a healthy seven-figure opportunity with a low-risk factor to make me say yes. Probably not gonna happen.
While many people don’t want to be defined by their work, I have no problem at all with being defined by mine, which is writing. It’s what I do and what I am—a writer.
What changed my life was my wife, Mary. I think of my life in two parts: B.M. and A.M. We met in an unusual way. We were both waiting in the outer office of the U.S. Marshall’s, waiting to get our new identities in the Witness Protection Program, and struck up a conversation. Her crime had something to do with large numbers of sheep and Black&Decker power tools, which is all I know. The rest, as they say, is history. We can honestly claim that our relationship is a product of a Stockholm Syndrome situation gone right.
We keep the romance alive! Every Friday night, I draw her a hot bath, strew rose petals on the water and break out five brand-new Bic razors. Then, I shave her back. I highly recommend this for newly-weds who don’t want to lose the new car smell of their relationship.
It’s also important to not be a phony when you compliment your Significant Other. Here’s an example: One time, she asked me to take out the garbage and I said: Nope. You cooked it, you take it out. They know when you’re being real and when you’re just blowing smoke… Keep it real.
Also, keep all the sharp instruments and ammunition hidden.
You write a edgy, right in the face, no bullshit fiction, and your characters say things the way you believe them – it seems like a routine, how did you achieve that kind of style?
Just by being myself. When you speak the truth it doesn’t take a lot of effort. Writing is just another form of communication and all any communication is is getting the image in my brain over to yours. It isn’t nuclear physics. And, being truthful makes it easy. Ask any cop. It’s why they keep asking the same questions, over and over, to a perp. If he’s lying, he’ll fuck up, eventually, and there you go. If you always tell the truth, there’s just not that problem.
Also, I write mostly crime novels and since I was a criminal for a very long time, I know how at least one criminal thinks and acts and what goes on in the life. I don’t have to invent much. A lot of the time, I just reach back and pull out a story from my own life.
A long time ago, when I was just a tadpole, I knew I wanted to be a writer and at that time, I thought the best way to be good at that was to accumulate experiences ala Jack London. So, that’s what I did. Then, just a few years ago, I read an interview with Flannery O’Connor and she said that if a person lived in the same little town until they were 17, they had enough material to write for the rest of their lives. Just wish I’d found that out a long time ago—it would have saved me a lot of grief!
Except… I’m really grateful for all of my experiences and particularly the bad ones. Fiction is about one thing only and that’s trouble and although I know the so-called ‘literary writers’ seem to be able to dredge that trouble up from heavy-duty contemplation of their navels and the lint in there, I have a ton of very concrete bad situations to draw upon and I see that as a positive thing. Just don’t have to put a mind-fuck on stuff. Just tell a story and know it’s true as monkey sex and I don’t have to spend all that time staring at my navel, even though it’s an ‘innie’ and very attractive as belly buttons go. It always seems that in reading some of those kinds of writers that one could easily get a hernia straining so hard to make something out of so little…
If you think about it, the bad experiences are the ones most of us remember the best and the most fondly. Look at all those guys who dwell on their two or three years in the Army, especially if it was during a wartime. How many people do you know remember the year they inherited daddy’s fortune as their best memory? Over the year they spent in Europe, living in a garret and eating Raman noodles to survive? It’s not only trouble that illuminates fiction; it’s trouble that illuminates our lives and our memories. Trouble is what we measure ourselves against. Scarcely anyone measures their own self-value against the day Daddy gave them the keys to their first Mercedes. If they do, they’re a sad person I think.
We need the bad times to let us know the value of the good times. We talk about ‘going through the fire.’ Very rarely do we talk about ‘going through the gentle spring rain.’ Fire forges character. Gentle spring rain forges… I’m not sure what it forges but it isn’t character.
You are very generous, when it comes to sharing your knowledge and technique, but not only that – you also put a great deal of humor into texts, that could otherwise be dull, and you definitely are an authority, a guru of writing even. We know writing is fun, but how do you make reading about writing fun?
Well, if writing is done right, it is fun. I defy anyone to show me any activity that’s more fun over a sustained period. And, I know there’s a thing called sex and it’s pretty neat and all that, but you’re talking about twenty minutes to an hour, normally (more with drugs and/or alcohol, of course) twice a week if you’re married, but writing is a 24/7 activity. Even when I’m having sex, the experience is already making its way into a story… One of my wives nailed it when she said to me after our divorce, ‘I was just material, wasn’t I?’ She was right… And, I believe in only two absolute rules about writing. To be successful, it needs to be clear and it needs to be interesting. And, if you can only do one of those two, you can fudge on the clear part. It’s absolutely imperative to be interesting.
It’s also important that we realize that this isn’t nuclear physics. Knowing that alone lightens the text…
Also, humor is decidedly a criminal trait. It’s how we get through a lot of the misery we find ourselves in. You’ll hear more sick jokes around a dead body than anywhere else. That’s from both sides—cops and criminals. My wife hates that about me. I’ll crack on stuff she thinks is SERIOUS SHIT and she thinks I need to spend some time on a shrink’s couch. She’s probably right but I don’t want her to know she’s right so I just tell her to go lay down by her dish… Well, I don’t say that out loud…
The funniest shit I ever heard in my life was the time this guy came into the rec room at Pendleton and proceeded to smack a guy’s melon a couple of rows ahead of me about sixty-eleven times with a claw hammer. Everybody had a joke going ten seconds after the guy walked away. Dave Barry would have gotten two books worth of material at the yuks we were throwing around then. We probably have a different kind of sense of humor than you’d find at a life insurance sales convention… or maybe not…
How do you see the writer’s role – as an educator, a world changer, or just a storyteller, whose primary mission is to entertain a reader, to give him a great experience in exchange for a couple of hours?
I’m with Isaac Bashavits Singer on this one, who, when asked very nearly the same question, replied that he just told stories. Is there a more noble calling? Not in my mind.
What does your typical work day look like?
I wake up around 4:30 and my wife brings me a pill I have to take before I can eat anything or drink coffee for an hour. I watch TV or sleep for that hour and then I’m up and lunging for my first of probably 8-9 cups of coffee for the day. After the Three S’s in the bathroom (where I read), I hit my computer and I’m there all day, only moving to take an occasional piss. I drink coffee all day long and smoke cigarettes. I don’t eat breakfast or lunch, usually, simply because I’m not hungry and it takes away writing time. I have literally hundreds of books all around me, plus my Kindle, and I take frequent breaks to read. Reading is the single most important activity for a writer to engage in. I was going to add ‘imo’ but didn’t because it’s just the truth.
My wife comes home anywhere from six to eight at night and we have supper (during which I read). I go back up to my computer until around 8:30 and then we go to bed. I do this seven days a week.
I usually have an average of a couple of dozen writing projects that I’m working on. I don’t believe in such a thing as writer’s block any more than a plumber thinks there’s such a thing as plumber’s block. Both of us just do the work. If I get bored on one thing, I just close that file and open up another one. A lot of my day is spent doing things that to non-writers might not seem like writing but they are. I have a class of novel-writing students whose work I go over each day. I also have private writing clients and I do the same with them. I’m online also and most of what I do there has to do with writing. I read constantly and according to my Kindle average 3-4 novels per week.
How do you start to write? Do you work out the plot, do you research a lot, or do you just sit down and write out of your head?
With a novel, it has to percolate in my mind for about seven-eight years. I always have 4-5 novels simmering and add a few each year to replace the ones I’ve written. When I’m ready to write it, I pretty much know where it’s going to go. I write a different kind of outline—it consists of 15-20 words. Five statements that comprise the entire novel. One statement that describes the inciting incident that begins the trouble that’s going to be the basis of the novel. Three statements describing the three major turning points almost all novels have. One statement describing the resolution. It’s my road map. If I was going to drive to Adak, Alaska, I’d get a map. It’s the same with a novel. I may get there by just driving north, but I imagine it’d take a lot longer and use up a lot more gas. This kind of outline gives me a sound grasp of it—to come up with this kind of outline means I have to have given it some thought, which I’ve found many writers haven’t and is why their book peters out at around page 70-80. They usually didn’t have a story but what the late Blake Snyder termed ‘the smell of the rain on the road at dawn.’ If I come up with a twist in the plot I didn’t envision going in, then I just take twenty minutes and rewrite my outline and I’m right back on the highway. Here’s perhaps a good example. I have a short story, a novel, and a screenplay of the same story… and I’ve used the same outline for all three. And, while all three were centered around the same main plot points, each was a very different story.
A short story is a different kind of animal. Since they don’t have that same arc as a novel—that Freitag scheme doesn’t apply to short stories since the character doesn’t have to change profoundly but only experience a tiny bit of insight—they don’t require the same kind of preparation at all.
Because of what I write—mostly about crime—I don’t have much need to research. My life has been research. Now, if I was an insurance salesman and wanted to write about crime, I guess I’d probably have to do some research. But, I was a criminal for a long, long time and therefore I truly do write what I know. Also, I’ve been doing this a long, long time, so I know how to jump in and balance all the elements and keep it going in my head without messing up.
A novel or a short story – which is more fun to write for you?
A novel, for sure! I quit writing short stories years ago, mostly because there wasn’t any money in them and there were very few readers. It was also really hard to get short stories published in those days. There were probably only a couple of dozen litmags that were considered quality and less than six or seven that were really worthwhile to get published in. The New Yorker, Paris Review—a few like that. Mostly, though, I just want more time with my characters than short stories allow.
Nowadays, because of the Internet, there are bazillions of places to place short stories. Unfortunately, it’s become so easy, many of the ones that we see are… what’s the word I’m looking for?… oh, yeah… crapola. I see more and more of these things that seem to be written not only by people who don’t know a thing about crime but seem to feel that the cruder they are and the more screwed up and on drugs they can make their characters and the more vile things they can make their characters do, that that’s somehow noir or crime writing There just don’t seem to be any editors these days in an awful lot of those places. That said, I’ve also read some truly amazing short stories on the ‘net. Ten percent are quite good. It just takes a mighty effort to plow through all the white noise sometimes… And, even though there are a lot more places now, it’s difficult to think of many that are equal to the Paris Review. Not sure if any are at that level yet.
Your fiction could easily translate into pictures. Have you ever written (or thought about writing) for film or TV?
I have. Years ago, I was teaching for the UCLA Writer’s Workshop and when you teach for them, you’re allowed to take other classes for free. So, I took Steve Duncan’s workshop on screenwriting. I’d never seen a screenplay before that, but on the second day, Steve called me up and told me to drop the class, that it wouldn’t do me any good. He said just get Trottier’s THE SCREENWRITER’S BIBLE, and learn formatting (which he said would take about ten minutes… and he was right) and then he’d like me to co-write a script with him. Well, first I decided to take a stab at writing one myself so I did. Took two days, literally. I wrote for eight hours the first day and then, two weeks later, picked it up again and finished it in seven hours. Now, anyone can write a bad script in two days… or even less… but this script became a semifinalist in the Nicholl’s and a finalist in both the Writer’s Guild and Best of Austin competitions, so I’d say it was vetted. Screenwriting isn’t writing, imo. It’s ridiculously easy for one thing and it’s just not writing. I don’t believe anyone’s ever curled up in a hammock to read a screenplay unless they were a director or producer or actor and they were just doing their job. I don’t write them any more mostly because I just don’t think much of the form. We all have limited time and I just don’t want to waste my time on something I don’t respect. Money’s never been my motivation for writing in the least, and I can’t figure any other reason to write screenplays other than the gelt.
Plus, I’m too old for Hollywood. After the age of 35, it’s really difficult to sell anything, no matter what they tell people in all these university film programs. Hollywood is up-front and honest about it—they practice ageism and don’t make any bones about it. The primary market is teenaged boys and they just don’t think anyone over the age of 35 can understand that demographic and write for it. Do older writers sometimes sell scripts? Well, outside of the established screenwriters who are that age or older… very, very rarely. It happens but then there are people who’ve won two back-to-back lottieries. The odds are about the same. The chances are much better for an older writer to get a novel published than a screenplay sold. Plus, who in the heck wants to write stuff teenaged boys find interesting? Have you talked to one of them lately? See what I mean?
If someone wants to take any of my stuff and make a movie, go for it. I wouldn’t object… but I wouldn’t want to spend the time writing it myself. Just send me a check. Hire that 20-year-old to screw it up and just send me the money and tell me the nearest theater it’s playing in.
What are you working at the moment (if it’s not a top secret)?
My writing isn’t top secret at all! Now… the work I’m doing on the new hydrogen-fallipalooza bomb I’m making out of mayonaisse and a secret ingredient is, but since you didn’t ask about that, I’m fine.
I’m working on a bunch of things. A final rewrite for my memoir, Adrenaline Junkie. That’s my main project presently. I just got notes for it from a writer I really respect, Ben Sobieck, and I’m busy rewriting it according to his considerable wisdom. Several novels. Two are thrillers. One is about a hit man who specializes in doing hits and making them look like accidents. It’s gonna be a manual for the folks who are anxious to perform the perfect crime and need some guidance. Another is about another kind of hit man who only does hits on folks who escape proper justice. He watches TV shows like ID and finds people who’ve done heinous crimes but draw light sentences. Maybe a guy wiped out an entire family and raped everyone in the family unit including the family dog before decapitating them… and then, because he lives in California draws a sentence of six and a half years (with a heavy dose of counseling…). My guy finds these folks when they get out and exterminates them. Kind of a Death Wish on steroids. A new writer’s how to, based on films. Bunch of other stuff.
I like the hit man motif. In my version, he gets away with it. So many people think that all criminals get caught and that’s just not true. We only hear about the ones that did. Trust me—lots of criminals don’t get caught. If it wasn’t for that pesky statute of limitations deal, I might even mention some of mine. It’s like gambling. There’s this myth that all gamblers eventually lose. Just not so. I made my entire living for four years gambling and the only reason I quit was that I made it mostly by betting middles and amateur, weekend bettors ruined it for us. I had a good friend who inherited a chain of supermarkets who ended up selling them and made a great living the rest of his life from gambling, far more than the couple of million a year he made from selling groceries. The ones who end up losing are usually the amateurs. If I go to a casino and see someone playing the slots or roulette, or betting on the shooter at the craps table, that’s the guy I want in my private poker game… Bring the rent money, pal…
There’s a reason we call straights ‘lames’…
How important do you find social media for your writing and promoting it? Which is more relevant, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn …?
I’m not sure. I suspect it isn’t all that important. On my blog I have a little over 300 followers so that isn’t going to catapault me onto the bestseller lists even if every one of ‘em buys ten copies of a book. (Although, I hope that doesn’t stop any of them from doing so if they were planning to…) Where I do think it’s important as a writer is that I get exposed to writers I wouldn’t be aware of otherwise. I’ve been introduced to a ton of really top writers that I wouldn’t have without the ‘net. A lot from Europe, in particular. As for which media is more relevant, I’m not sure if any of them are, but I’m probably wrong. I often am. Ask any of my four ex-wives. Maybe even my current one…
Agents and editors seem to think that it’s important. They’re always asking about one’s ‘platform.’ I’m not convinced that 325 followers constitute a ‘platform’ but if so I’m there… I kind of suspect they think it’s important because they read other agent’s and other editor’s blogs and see them touting it so… If any of those folks are reading this, I’m trying. I’m really trying.
Who are your literary heroes?
I have bazillions of literary heroes! Anyone who writes well is my hero. I won’t name living ones just because after we finish here I’ll think of someone I forgot and I’ll feel terrible. Plus, the list would be in the hundreds. Among the dead ones there are also bazillions. Probably the biggest heroes for me are folks like Camus, Borges, Celine, Ray Carver, Flannery O’Connor, Chekhov, Bukowski, Harry Crews, Faulkner, Hemingway, not Fitzgerald, Mark Twain, John Donne, Nabakov, Isaac Bashavits Singer, James Crumley—just lots and lots and lots of writers. You’ll notice there isn’t but one woman in that list. That’s because until recently I read very few women. It just seemed that most of them wrote about ‘relationships’ and that’s not a subject that interests me in the least. Lately though, I’ve been reading a lot of women writers. Contemporary writers. It seems they’ve been freed up to write about things I don’t think they felt they were able to in yesteryear and today’s women writers are absolutely fantastic and I read a lot of them. I often wonder what Louisa May Alcott would have written about if she’d felt free to write anything she wanted to and get published—I’ll bet a dollar Jo and Meg would be involved with leather more than they were and might be getting their groove on in different ways that they did… We really kept women writers down for far too long of a time… hell, keeping them down for ten minutes was too long, but we did it for centuries. And, now, they’re starting to kick our ass!
What advise would you give to a young (or maybe not so young) writer, who’s just starting to think of becoming a writer?
Don’t write. Take up fingerpainting or brain surgery.
Why in the heck should I encourage competition?
Kidding! I can’t give any better advice than Jim Harrison did when he advised anyone wanting to become a writer to ‘read the whole of Western literature for the past 2,000 years… and then, if time permits, to read the whole of Eastern literature for the same period of time.’ For, he said, ‘if you don’t know what passed for good in the past, how can you know what passes for good today?’ Reading is how one learns to become a writer. Period.
Thank you, Les!
Totally my pleasure, Renato. I know going in that my answers might piss some people off and if so that makes me happy, happy, happy! If a writer ever says or writes anything that doesn’t offend someone, I don’t think he or she has a right to call themselves a writer. It’s our job to stir up things and make people uncomfortable. It’s for sure the media and politicians don’t do that any more. Too many people these days have bought into that PC moronic crap and don’t want to hurt anyone’s little tender feelings. Too bad. Opinions are our biggest stock in trade and why would anyone want to hide their goods? It’s why I love quotes from past generations of writers about other writers. They didn’t pussyfoot around and pretend to like everyone so they’d be liked. Did I mention I hate PC mushheads? Grow a pair…
I’m a very angry person. I write for the same reasons William Gass did—I hate.. a lot… and hard. Mostly, I hate bullies and I hate posers and very often they’re the same person. The other side of that coin is that I love an awful lot of people too. I especially love my fellow writers who fight the good fight and keep on keepin’ on. It’s a tough dodge we’ve chosen.
And, that's it. If you'd like to read this on Renato's site, here it is: http://radikalnews.com/?p=385
There's also a version in Slovene for all the Slovene-speaking folks here.
Two more days (Jan. 20th) until THE BITCH comes out.
Blue skies,Les
Just did an interview with Renato Bratkovic on his blog RADIKALNEWS.
Here's the interview:
A Conversation With Les Edgerton
I am both pleased and honored to have a chance to ask Les Edgerton a couple of questions. Les doesn’t need any introduction, as he is a well known fiction writer (The Rapist, Just Like That, Gumbo Ya-Ya: Stories, and The Bitch that comes out on January 20th), always ready to support his fellow writers and who also kindly shares his knowledge of the craft (Finding Your Voice: How to Put Personality in Your Writing, Hooked: Write Fiction That Grabs Readers at Page One & Never Lets Them Go). There’s another writer that I think of, when I see or hear Les – the great late Eddie Bunker, who’s also been there and seen things and … yeah, written about them, although Les tells stories with his own voice and a comparison is made only out of respect. Check his author blog to learn about writing, and – of course – the Amazonto buy his books.
Hi, Les, it’s an honor to have you here – can you tell us a bit about yourself with your own words please?
Thanks for having me, Renato—it’s an honor… and promises to be fun!
I guess to begin with—I’m an ex-con who’s now reformed and has taken a vow of poverty—become a writer. I’m no longer ‘in the life’ not because I’ve had some ‘come to Jesus’ moment, but because I’ve been to prison and don’t have much of a burning desire to return. So far, no crimes have presented themselves with enough upside that I’d consider worth the risk should things go south. If one did, I wouldn’t consult a minister to make a decision—I’d just weigh the pros and cons. It would have to be a healthy seven-figure opportunity with a low-risk factor to make me say yes. Probably not gonna happen.
While many people don’t want to be defined by their work, I have no problem at all with being defined by mine, which is writing. It’s what I do and what I am—a writer.
What changed my life was my wife, Mary. I think of my life in two parts: B.M. and A.M. We met in an unusual way. We were both waiting in the outer office of the U.S. Marshall’s, waiting to get our new identities in the Witness Protection Program, and struck up a conversation. Her crime had something to do with large numbers of sheep and Black&Decker power tools, which is all I know. The rest, as they say, is history. We can honestly claim that our relationship is a product of a Stockholm Syndrome situation gone right.
We keep the romance alive! Every Friday night, I draw her a hot bath, strew rose petals on the water and break out five brand-new Bic razors. Then, I shave her back. I highly recommend this for newly-weds who don’t want to lose the new car smell of their relationship.
It’s also important to not be a phony when you compliment your Significant Other. Here’s an example: One time, she asked me to take out the garbage and I said: Nope. You cooked it, you take it out. They know when you’re being real and when you’re just blowing smoke… Keep it real.
Also, keep all the sharp instruments and ammunition hidden.
You write a edgy, right in the face, no bullshit fiction, and your characters say things the way you believe them – it seems like a routine, how did you achieve that kind of style?
Just by being myself. When you speak the truth it doesn’t take a lot of effort. Writing is just another form of communication and all any communication is is getting the image in my brain over to yours. It isn’t nuclear physics. And, being truthful makes it easy. Ask any cop. It’s why they keep asking the same questions, over and over, to a perp. If he’s lying, he’ll fuck up, eventually, and there you go. If you always tell the truth, there’s just not that problem.
Also, I write mostly crime novels and since I was a criminal for a very long time, I know how at least one criminal thinks and acts and what goes on in the life. I don’t have to invent much. A lot of the time, I just reach back and pull out a story from my own life.
A long time ago, when I was just a tadpole, I knew I wanted to be a writer and at that time, I thought the best way to be good at that was to accumulate experiences ala Jack London. So, that’s what I did. Then, just a few years ago, I read an interview with Flannery O’Connor and she said that if a person lived in the same little town until they were 17, they had enough material to write for the rest of their lives. Just wish I’d found that out a long time ago—it would have saved me a lot of grief!
Except… I’m really grateful for all of my experiences and particularly the bad ones. Fiction is about one thing only and that’s trouble and although I know the so-called ‘literary writers’ seem to be able to dredge that trouble up from heavy-duty contemplation of their navels and the lint in there, I have a ton of very concrete bad situations to draw upon and I see that as a positive thing. Just don’t have to put a mind-fuck on stuff. Just tell a story and know it’s true as monkey sex and I don’t have to spend all that time staring at my navel, even though it’s an ‘innie’ and very attractive as belly buttons go. It always seems that in reading some of those kinds of writers that one could easily get a hernia straining so hard to make something out of so little…
If you think about it, the bad experiences are the ones most of us remember the best and the most fondly. Look at all those guys who dwell on their two or three years in the Army, especially if it was during a wartime. How many people do you know remember the year they inherited daddy’s fortune as their best memory? Over the year they spent in Europe, living in a garret and eating Raman noodles to survive? It’s not only trouble that illuminates fiction; it’s trouble that illuminates our lives and our memories. Trouble is what we measure ourselves against. Scarcely anyone measures their own self-value against the day Daddy gave them the keys to their first Mercedes. If they do, they’re a sad person I think.
We need the bad times to let us know the value of the good times. We talk about ‘going through the fire.’ Very rarely do we talk about ‘going through the gentle spring rain.’ Fire forges character. Gentle spring rain forges… I’m not sure what it forges but it isn’t character.
You are very generous, when it comes to sharing your knowledge and technique, but not only that – you also put a great deal of humor into texts, that could otherwise be dull, and you definitely are an authority, a guru of writing even. We know writing is fun, but how do you make reading about writing fun?
Well, if writing is done right, it is fun. I defy anyone to show me any activity that’s more fun over a sustained period. And, I know there’s a thing called sex and it’s pretty neat and all that, but you’re talking about twenty minutes to an hour, normally (more with drugs and/or alcohol, of course) twice a week if you’re married, but writing is a 24/7 activity. Even when I’m having sex, the experience is already making its way into a story… One of my wives nailed it when she said to me after our divorce, ‘I was just material, wasn’t I?’ She was right… And, I believe in only two absolute rules about writing. To be successful, it needs to be clear and it needs to be interesting. And, if you can only do one of those two, you can fudge on the clear part. It’s absolutely imperative to be interesting.
It’s also important that we realize that this isn’t nuclear physics. Knowing that alone lightens the text…
Also, humor is decidedly a criminal trait. It’s how we get through a lot of the misery we find ourselves in. You’ll hear more sick jokes around a dead body than anywhere else. That’s from both sides—cops and criminals. My wife hates that about me. I’ll crack on stuff she thinks is SERIOUS SHIT and she thinks I need to spend some time on a shrink’s couch. She’s probably right but I don’t want her to know she’s right so I just tell her to go lay down by her dish… Well, I don’t say that out loud…
The funniest shit I ever heard in my life was the time this guy came into the rec room at Pendleton and proceeded to smack a guy’s melon a couple of rows ahead of me about sixty-eleven times with a claw hammer. Everybody had a joke going ten seconds after the guy walked away. Dave Barry would have gotten two books worth of material at the yuks we were throwing around then. We probably have a different kind of sense of humor than you’d find at a life insurance sales convention… or maybe not…
How do you see the writer’s role – as an educator, a world changer, or just a storyteller, whose primary mission is to entertain a reader, to give him a great experience in exchange for a couple of hours?
I’m with Isaac Bashavits Singer on this one, who, when asked very nearly the same question, replied that he just told stories. Is there a more noble calling? Not in my mind.
What does your typical work day look like?
I wake up around 4:30 and my wife brings me a pill I have to take before I can eat anything or drink coffee for an hour. I watch TV or sleep for that hour and then I’m up and lunging for my first of probably 8-9 cups of coffee for the day. After the Three S’s in the bathroom (where I read), I hit my computer and I’m there all day, only moving to take an occasional piss. I drink coffee all day long and smoke cigarettes. I don’t eat breakfast or lunch, usually, simply because I’m not hungry and it takes away writing time. I have literally hundreds of books all around me, plus my Kindle, and I take frequent breaks to read. Reading is the single most important activity for a writer to engage in. I was going to add ‘imo’ but didn’t because it’s just the truth.
My wife comes home anywhere from six to eight at night and we have supper (during which I read). I go back up to my computer until around 8:30 and then we go to bed. I do this seven days a week.
I usually have an average of a couple of dozen writing projects that I’m working on. I don’t believe in such a thing as writer’s block any more than a plumber thinks there’s such a thing as plumber’s block. Both of us just do the work. If I get bored on one thing, I just close that file and open up another one. A lot of my day is spent doing things that to non-writers might not seem like writing but they are. I have a class of novel-writing students whose work I go over each day. I also have private writing clients and I do the same with them. I’m online also and most of what I do there has to do with writing. I read constantly and according to my Kindle average 3-4 novels per week.
How do you start to write? Do you work out the plot, do you research a lot, or do you just sit down and write out of your head?
With a novel, it has to percolate in my mind for about seven-eight years. I always have 4-5 novels simmering and add a few each year to replace the ones I’ve written. When I’m ready to write it, I pretty much know where it’s going to go. I write a different kind of outline—it consists of 15-20 words. Five statements that comprise the entire novel. One statement that describes the inciting incident that begins the trouble that’s going to be the basis of the novel. Three statements describing the three major turning points almost all novels have. One statement describing the resolution. It’s my road map. If I was going to drive to Adak, Alaska, I’d get a map. It’s the same with a novel. I may get there by just driving north, but I imagine it’d take a lot longer and use up a lot more gas. This kind of outline gives me a sound grasp of it—to come up with this kind of outline means I have to have given it some thought, which I’ve found many writers haven’t and is why their book peters out at around page 70-80. They usually didn’t have a story but what the late Blake Snyder termed ‘the smell of the rain on the road at dawn.’ If I come up with a twist in the plot I didn’t envision going in, then I just take twenty minutes and rewrite my outline and I’m right back on the highway. Here’s perhaps a good example. I have a short story, a novel, and a screenplay of the same story… and I’ve used the same outline for all three. And, while all three were centered around the same main plot points, each was a very different story.
A short story is a different kind of animal. Since they don’t have that same arc as a novel—that Freitag scheme doesn’t apply to short stories since the character doesn’t have to change profoundly but only experience a tiny bit of insight—they don’t require the same kind of preparation at all.
Because of what I write—mostly about crime—I don’t have much need to research. My life has been research. Now, if I was an insurance salesman and wanted to write about crime, I guess I’d probably have to do some research. But, I was a criminal for a long, long time and therefore I truly do write what I know. Also, I’ve been doing this a long, long time, so I know how to jump in and balance all the elements and keep it going in my head without messing up.
A novel or a short story – which is more fun to write for you?
A novel, for sure! I quit writing short stories years ago, mostly because there wasn’t any money in them and there were very few readers. It was also really hard to get short stories published in those days. There were probably only a couple of dozen litmags that were considered quality and less than six or seven that were really worthwhile to get published in. The New Yorker, Paris Review—a few like that. Mostly, though, I just want more time with my characters than short stories allow.
Nowadays, because of the Internet, there are bazillions of places to place short stories. Unfortunately, it’s become so easy, many of the ones that we see are… what’s the word I’m looking for?… oh, yeah… crapola. I see more and more of these things that seem to be written not only by people who don’t know a thing about crime but seem to feel that the cruder they are and the more screwed up and on drugs they can make their characters and the more vile things they can make their characters do, that that’s somehow noir or crime writing There just don’t seem to be any editors these days in an awful lot of those places. That said, I’ve also read some truly amazing short stories on the ‘net. Ten percent are quite good. It just takes a mighty effort to plow through all the white noise sometimes… And, even though there are a lot more places now, it’s difficult to think of many that are equal to the Paris Review. Not sure if any are at that level yet.
Your fiction could easily translate into pictures. Have you ever written (or thought about writing) for film or TV?
I have. Years ago, I was teaching for the UCLA Writer’s Workshop and when you teach for them, you’re allowed to take other classes for free. So, I took Steve Duncan’s workshop on screenwriting. I’d never seen a screenplay before that, but on the second day, Steve called me up and told me to drop the class, that it wouldn’t do me any good. He said just get Trottier’s THE SCREENWRITER’S BIBLE, and learn formatting (which he said would take about ten minutes… and he was right) and then he’d like me to co-write a script with him. Well, first I decided to take a stab at writing one myself so I did. Took two days, literally. I wrote for eight hours the first day and then, two weeks later, picked it up again and finished it in seven hours. Now, anyone can write a bad script in two days… or even less… but this script became a semifinalist in the Nicholl’s and a finalist in both the Writer’s Guild and Best of Austin competitions, so I’d say it was vetted. Screenwriting isn’t writing, imo. It’s ridiculously easy for one thing and it’s just not writing. I don’t believe anyone’s ever curled up in a hammock to read a screenplay unless they were a director or producer or actor and they were just doing their job. I don’t write them any more mostly because I just don’t think much of the form. We all have limited time and I just don’t want to waste my time on something I don’t respect. Money’s never been my motivation for writing in the least, and I can’t figure any other reason to write screenplays other than the gelt.
Plus, I’m too old for Hollywood. After the age of 35, it’s really difficult to sell anything, no matter what they tell people in all these university film programs. Hollywood is up-front and honest about it—they practice ageism and don’t make any bones about it. The primary market is teenaged boys and they just don’t think anyone over the age of 35 can understand that demographic and write for it. Do older writers sometimes sell scripts? Well, outside of the established screenwriters who are that age or older… very, very rarely. It happens but then there are people who’ve won two back-to-back lottieries. The odds are about the same. The chances are much better for an older writer to get a novel published than a screenplay sold. Plus, who in the heck wants to write stuff teenaged boys find interesting? Have you talked to one of them lately? See what I mean?
If someone wants to take any of my stuff and make a movie, go for it. I wouldn’t object… but I wouldn’t want to spend the time writing it myself. Just send me a check. Hire that 20-year-old to screw it up and just send me the money and tell me the nearest theater it’s playing in.
What are you working at the moment (if it’s not a top secret)?
My writing isn’t top secret at all! Now… the work I’m doing on the new hydrogen-fallipalooza bomb I’m making out of mayonaisse and a secret ingredient is, but since you didn’t ask about that, I’m fine.
I’m working on a bunch of things. A final rewrite for my memoir, Adrenaline Junkie. That’s my main project presently. I just got notes for it from a writer I really respect, Ben Sobieck, and I’m busy rewriting it according to his considerable wisdom. Several novels. Two are thrillers. One is about a hit man who specializes in doing hits and making them look like accidents. It’s gonna be a manual for the folks who are anxious to perform the perfect crime and need some guidance. Another is about another kind of hit man who only does hits on folks who escape proper justice. He watches TV shows like ID and finds people who’ve done heinous crimes but draw light sentences. Maybe a guy wiped out an entire family and raped everyone in the family unit including the family dog before decapitating them… and then, because he lives in California draws a sentence of six and a half years (with a heavy dose of counseling…). My guy finds these folks when they get out and exterminates them. Kind of a Death Wish on steroids. A new writer’s how to, based on films. Bunch of other stuff.
I like the hit man motif. In my version, he gets away with it. So many people think that all criminals get caught and that’s just not true. We only hear about the ones that did. Trust me—lots of criminals don’t get caught. If it wasn’t for that pesky statute of limitations deal, I might even mention some of mine. It’s like gambling. There’s this myth that all gamblers eventually lose. Just not so. I made my entire living for four years gambling and the only reason I quit was that I made it mostly by betting middles and amateur, weekend bettors ruined it for us. I had a good friend who inherited a chain of supermarkets who ended up selling them and made a great living the rest of his life from gambling, far more than the couple of million a year he made from selling groceries. The ones who end up losing are usually the amateurs. If I go to a casino and see someone playing the slots or roulette, or betting on the shooter at the craps table, that’s the guy I want in my private poker game… Bring the rent money, pal…
There’s a reason we call straights ‘lames’…
How important do you find social media for your writing and promoting it? Which is more relevant, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn …?
I’m not sure. I suspect it isn’t all that important. On my blog I have a little over 300 followers so that isn’t going to catapault me onto the bestseller lists even if every one of ‘em buys ten copies of a book. (Although, I hope that doesn’t stop any of them from doing so if they were planning to…) Where I do think it’s important as a writer is that I get exposed to writers I wouldn’t be aware of otherwise. I’ve been introduced to a ton of really top writers that I wouldn’t have without the ‘net. A lot from Europe, in particular. As for which media is more relevant, I’m not sure if any of them are, but I’m probably wrong. I often am. Ask any of my four ex-wives. Maybe even my current one…
Agents and editors seem to think that it’s important. They’re always asking about one’s ‘platform.’ I’m not convinced that 325 followers constitute a ‘platform’ but if so I’m there… I kind of suspect they think it’s important because they read other agent’s and other editor’s blogs and see them touting it so… If any of those folks are reading this, I’m trying. I’m really trying.
Who are your literary heroes?
I have bazillions of literary heroes! Anyone who writes well is my hero. I won’t name living ones just because after we finish here I’ll think of someone I forgot and I’ll feel terrible. Plus, the list would be in the hundreds. Among the dead ones there are also bazillions. Probably the biggest heroes for me are folks like Camus, Borges, Celine, Ray Carver, Flannery O’Connor, Chekhov, Bukowski, Harry Crews, Faulkner, Hemingway, not Fitzgerald, Mark Twain, John Donne, Nabakov, Isaac Bashavits Singer, James Crumley—just lots and lots and lots of writers. You’ll notice there isn’t but one woman in that list. That’s because until recently I read very few women. It just seemed that most of them wrote about ‘relationships’ and that’s not a subject that interests me in the least. Lately though, I’ve been reading a lot of women writers. Contemporary writers. It seems they’ve been freed up to write about things I don’t think they felt they were able to in yesteryear and today’s women writers are absolutely fantastic and I read a lot of them. I often wonder what Louisa May Alcott would have written about if she’d felt free to write anything she wanted to and get published—I’ll bet a dollar Jo and Meg would be involved with leather more than they were and might be getting their groove on in different ways that they did… We really kept women writers down for far too long of a time… hell, keeping them down for ten minutes was too long, but we did it for centuries. And, now, they’re starting to kick our ass!
What advise would you give to a young (or maybe not so young) writer, who’s just starting to think of becoming a writer?
Don’t write. Take up fingerpainting or brain surgery.
Why in the heck should I encourage competition?
Kidding! I can’t give any better advice than Jim Harrison did when he advised anyone wanting to become a writer to ‘read the whole of Western literature for the past 2,000 years… and then, if time permits, to read the whole of Eastern literature for the same period of time.’ For, he said, ‘if you don’t know what passed for good in the past, how can you know what passes for good today?’ Reading is how one learns to become a writer. Period.
Thank you, Les!
Totally my pleasure, Renato. I know going in that my answers might piss some people off and if so that makes me happy, happy, happy! If a writer ever says or writes anything that doesn’t offend someone, I don’t think he or she has a right to call themselves a writer. It’s our job to stir up things and make people uncomfortable. It’s for sure the media and politicians don’t do that any more. Too many people these days have bought into that PC moronic crap and don’t want to hurt anyone’s little tender feelings. Too bad. Opinions are our biggest stock in trade and why would anyone want to hide their goods? It’s why I love quotes from past generations of writers about other writers. They didn’t pussyfoot around and pretend to like everyone so they’d be liked. Did I mention I hate PC mushheads? Grow a pair…
I’m a very angry person. I write for the same reasons William Gass did—I hate.. a lot… and hard. Mostly, I hate bullies and I hate posers and very often they’re the same person. The other side of that coin is that I love an awful lot of people too. I especially love my fellow writers who fight the good fight and keep on keepin’ on. It’s a tough dodge we’ve chosen.
And, that's it. If you'd like to read this on Renato's site, here it is: http://radikalnews.com/?p=385
There's also a version in Slovene for all the Slovene-speaking folks here.
Two more days (Jan. 20th) until THE BITCH comes out.
Blue skies,Les
January 13, 2014
GERMAN EDITION OF THE RAPIST OUT FROM PULPMASTER
Hi folks,
Just got notified that the Pulpmaster German edition of THE RAPIST is out and for sale. Here's the cover--click on it to go to the site. If anyone should want to order a German language copy, there's a link on the site. Just go to the site, click on www.pulpmaster.de and when it takes you to the inside, just click on my title.
Also, just got an email from my U.S. publisher, Jon Bassoff of New Pulp Press, that both of our books, Jon's CORROSION and my THE RAPIST are sitting at the top of the Noir category in Kindle sales for Amazon. Jon's is #1 and mine is #3.
In a week (Jan. 20) THE BITCH will be launched. I'll announce it here.
Happy writing, everyone!
Blue skies,Les
Just got notified that the Pulpmaster German edition of THE RAPIST is out and for sale. Here's the cover--click on it to go to the site. If anyone should want to order a German language copy, there's a link on the site. Just go to the site, click on www.pulpmaster.de and when it takes you to the inside, just click on my title.
Also, just got an email from my U.S. publisher, Jon Bassoff of New Pulp Press, that both of our books, Jon's CORROSION and my THE RAPIST are sitting at the top of the Noir category in Kindle sales for Amazon. Jon's is #1 and mine is #3.
In a week (Jan. 20) THE BITCH will be launched. I'll announce it here.
Happy writing, everyone!
Blue skies,Les
January 11, 2014
MISSED OPPORTUNITIES...
Hi folks,
Just saw a post on Facebook by my friend Dean Ehle who said he was looking forward to watching the movie THE GREEN MILE on TV and it brought back a memory.
Not a particularly good one!
You see, I have a tenuous connection to that particular movie…
Years ago, I taught fiction writing for the UCLA Extension Writer’s Program. As an instructor, I was able to take free classes from other instructors and vice versa. In a screenwriting class, I became friends with a delightful young lady from Grand Rapids, Michigan, Jodi Stanley. We began a correspondence that led to her and I and our significant others meeting up for drinks and dinner.
Well, one day, I got a phone call from Jodi. Turned out, she was sitting in the California living room of a woman named Mali Finn. Ms. Finn had been her drama teacher in high school and had since migrated out to Hollywood where she’d become a casting director for James Cameron. Jodi was visiting her. The reason Jodi called me was that she’d happened to have a copy of one of my books, MONDAY’S MEAL, with her, and Mali was looking at it and saw my author’s photo on the back. According to Jodi, she began squealing, “This guy’s got the exact look I’m looking for!” Seems she was casting a movie for some guy named James Cameron. She asked Jodi if she thought I’d mind her reaching out to me and Jodi didn’t think I’d mind at all. (That’s called an “understatement” for any nonliterary types out there…). Jodi called me at home in Fort Hooterville and introduced me to Mali and then Mali took over. She explained she was casting a movie titled THE GREEN MILE, had seen my picture, and thought I had the perfect “look” she wanted for a character in the movie.
Well, this is where it gets a bit unbelievable for those of you with a People Magazine subscription. At that time, I had no idea who Mali Finn was. I had no idea who James Cameron was. I had no idea that THE GREEN MILE was a novel by Stephen King. Truth. I knew who Stephen King was, but wasn’t a big fan. I’d read one book of his—something about a car that comes to life—and, to be honest, thought it was kind of silly. I know he’s a big name and all, but his stuff just isn’t my cup of tea. Sorry, King fans…
Anyway, at that point, I realized vaguely that this Finn person was a bona fide Hollywood person and Jodi had told me Cameron was as well (except I didn’t know anything about either one). But, I did realize she was a for-real person in the film biz and this wasn’t some kind of crank call.
So, when she asked if I’d be willing to do a screen test for the role she had in mind, I said, sure. Only then she said there was no money in the budget to fly anyone out for a screen test. They just hadn’t allocated funds for that, figuring they’d get actors from the waiter/cab driver/phone sex worker pool in L.A. She said I’d have to pay my way out there and back, but that if I got the role I’d be reimbursed. Reluctantly, I said, “Ma’am, I don’t have enough gas money to get to the other side of Ft. Wayne right now.” I declined and we said a few other pleasantries and that was the end of our conversation.
Not the photo Mali Finn saw--couldn't locate a copy of it--but this is a photo taken at the same time. If curious about the photo she actually saw, it's here. When you get there, just click on "Back cover" and thas' moi...My wife Mary was home at the time, but hadn’t heard the conversation. When I told her the name of the movie, she knew instantly that it was a Stephen King novel. (She reads People…) We jumped in the car and drove out to Border’s and sure enough—there it was on the shelf. Actually, there were dozens of copies.
We came back home and looked up James Cameron and found out that he was… a really big deal in Hollywood. As was Mali Finn. I think I remember groaning… I’m pretty sure I found a bottle and began sipping from it. Bigsips…
I figured it was too late to call Jodi back so I didn’t. Probably another tactical mistake I made. At that point, I would have borrowed the money to get out there or maybe visited a 7-11 with my persuader… but I just figured that ship had sailed.
I couldn’t bring myself to even watch the movie when it first came out. Didn’t see it until some years later when it was on TV.
I’m not sure what role Mali had in mind for me. She’d just said “one of the guard’s roles,” so I have no idea what she had in mind. I hope it was the guy who didn’t put the sponge in the water. I’d hate to think it was one of the good guy roles…
Lost opportunities… I’ve had a few. That was a pretty big one.
How about you guys? Any missed opportunities at fame and fortune you’ve had you’d like to share? Misery loves company, y’know…
Blue skies,Les
P.S. Jodi, if you’re reading this, tell me why you didn’t just slap me up alongside the head? Metaphorically, that is…
January 3, 2014
DRAGON SOFTWARE AND BEATLES TUNES ON MUZAK...
Hi folks,
Ever get one of those weird thoughts or images that won’t leave your brain? Kind of like a Beatles’ song on Muzak played in an elevator? That enter your dreams late at night and you wake up screaming?
Well, for the past month or so, there’s a TV commercial that plays incessantly that’s driving me nuts! It’s the one for the Dragon software—that program that transcribes your voice into material on the page? Know it? Yeah…
Almost all of the folks giving hosannas give me the willies, but the “writer” person just makes me cringe. She’s billed as “Jenny the Writer.” You know--the one who claims she “writes fast” and the only thing that can keep up with her rapier-like mind is Dragon? Did you notice that the second she says she’s a “fast writer and thinker” that you can almost see the little light in the refrigerator of her mind go on and she consciously begins to speak even faster? She almost trips over the words at that point, but by God she’s going to show you just what a blazingly fast speaker/writer/thinker she is. I’m telling the truth here—as soon as she comes on, I’m running from the room screaming. Problem is, she does talk fast—I can’t outrun her voice.
And, what’s with that lame email she sends her friend about sending her mss off to her agent? Is this what Madison Avenue visualizes writers to be like?
I’m sure that in real life she’s probably a nice person. She does need to spend some of her royalties and get a better hairstylist, but that’s just being mean I guess…
I can’t help it. She just annoys the hell out of me…
What ads/commercials affect you adversely?
Blue skies,Les
My wife Mary watching me just after I jumped out the window after watching the Dragon commercial for the 40th time... in an hour...
The speed-writing writer is driving me to drink...YESTERDAY... ALL MY PROBLEMS SEEM SO FARAWAY...
See??!! It's like that!
December 31, 2013
HAPPY DYNGUS DAY!
Hi folks,
I know, I know... most people do some kind of New Year's Day dealie today, but being the solid contrarian that I am, I sneer at NYD! It's a holiday for amateur drinkers.
Instead, I'd like to draw your attention to the single best holiday in the world. I'm speaking of...
DYNGUS DAY!
And, I'm not talking about that Johnny-come-lately usurper that's held in Buffalo, NY, but the biggest and oldest in the world--the Dyngus Day in South Bend, Indiana.
To those who haven't participated in a Dyngus Day, I have a personal story that epitomizes the holiday.
One year, a long, long time ago, I went to Dyngus Day. Started out at the M.F. Falcons' Club where I watched a guy drop his drawers and stand at the bar for over four hours with his bare butt hanging out. Cops everywhere. What was amazing wasn't that he wasn't arrested--ain't gonna happen during Dyngus Day--but that he never once went to the bathroom!
Okay. That's not my story. From the Falcons' I made my way over to the West Side Democratic Club, the epicenter of the festivities. I remember drinking for several hours and then I went into that fugue state I used to reach more often in those days where I went... blotto...
The next thing I remember, is waking up in a station wagon with eight girls... and me. They were shaking me like crazy, trying to get me conscious. Turns out, they were out of gas... and money. They asked me if I had any bucks or a credit card.
"Where are we?" I asked.
"Windsor," one of 'em said.
"Windsor what?" I said.
"Canada."
Okay...
"Who are you guys and why are we in Windsor?" I asked, me being the sharp, penetrating detective.
They all started telling me their names and then one of them said, "It was your idea."
And, that's Dyngus Day.
It's always the Monday after Easter.
Bring bail money.
Go before you get married. Significant Others seem to frown on their spouses having this kind of madcap fun...
Happy Dyngus Day! It's the pro's holiday. You can have your Amateur Hour NYD...
Blue skies,
Les
And here's a picture taken during that period of my life. Notice I had hair? Since Dyngus Day I have a lot less... Just sayin'...
I know, I know... most people do some kind of New Year's Day dealie today, but being the solid contrarian that I am, I sneer at NYD! It's a holiday for amateur drinkers.
Instead, I'd like to draw your attention to the single best holiday in the world. I'm speaking of...
DYNGUS DAY!
And, I'm not talking about that Johnny-come-lately usurper that's held in Buffalo, NY, but the biggest and oldest in the world--the Dyngus Day in South Bend, Indiana.
To those who haven't participated in a Dyngus Day, I have a personal story that epitomizes the holiday.
One year, a long, long time ago, I went to Dyngus Day. Started out at the M.F. Falcons' Club where I watched a guy drop his drawers and stand at the bar for over four hours with his bare butt hanging out. Cops everywhere. What was amazing wasn't that he wasn't arrested--ain't gonna happen during Dyngus Day--but that he never once went to the bathroom!
Okay. That's not my story. From the Falcons' I made my way over to the West Side Democratic Club, the epicenter of the festivities. I remember drinking for several hours and then I went into that fugue state I used to reach more often in those days where I went... blotto...
The next thing I remember, is waking up in a station wagon with eight girls... and me. They were shaking me like crazy, trying to get me conscious. Turns out, they were out of gas... and money. They asked me if I had any bucks or a credit card.
"Where are we?" I asked.
"Windsor," one of 'em said.
"Windsor what?" I said.
"Canada."
Okay...
"Who are you guys and why are we in Windsor?" I asked, me being the sharp, penetrating detective.
They all started telling me their names and then one of them said, "It was your idea."
And, that's Dyngus Day.
It's always the Monday after Easter.
Bring bail money.
Go before you get married. Significant Others seem to frown on their spouses having this kind of madcap fun...
Happy Dyngus Day! It's the pro's holiday. You can have your Amateur Hour NYD...
Blue skies,
Les
And here's a picture taken during that period of my life. Notice I had hair? Since Dyngus Day I have a lot less... Just sayin'...
