Andrew Moore's Blog, page 143

Widespread Applications

Action? Mystery? Romantic comedy? They could all use glowing weak spots. They communicate information in an efficient fashion convenient to the writer. Shoot the boss in the glowing weak spot. How did the murderer know about the victim's weak spot? A girl accidentally strikes a fella's weak spot, she helps him recover, they fall in love.

The Latest Trends

Out: "The time is not yet right."
In: Glowing weak spots

The Missing Element from Literature

Postbook content. Just stick a boss fight in an appendix. It doesn't have to be fair or well designed.

Space Vacation

"I thought this planet was Space Denmark." The tourist fished out his ticket stub. "Yep. So where are all the Danes?" "You aren't one either," another tourist pointed out.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we regret to inform you that every Dane is out on vacation to Space China, Space India, Space Polynesia, or Space Italy. Please enjoy the authentic Danish architecture and attractions."
"I don't see any of those."
"Ladies and gentlemen, we regret to inform you that the construction firms contracted to build authentic Danish architecture and attractions are all out on vacation to Space France, Space Mexico, Space Morocco, or Space Thailand."
"What a rip-off! I want my money back!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, we regret to inform you that in this post-scarcity society, you have no money and no way to acquire it. Your labor no longer has meaning."
"I know, I know. That's why I've been traveling around for three hundred years. Complaining's part of the fun."
And so all the tourists enjoyed Space Denmark and gave it rave reviews.
Finis

Failed Plan

Option 3 was going to be King Arthur except it's a football player sent back in time, but extensive research has proved all the good ideas have already been done. There is nothing left but decay.

Backup Plan

Option 2 is post-apocalyptic King Arthur. They should still use swords though. And still have all the bright colors and fancy sets. Just have some shirtless dudes with mohawks to fight.

The Newest King Arthur Reimagining

Here's the idea: Bright colors and furs and fanciness just like in the French stories. Do it up real big and have silks everywhere. Allow the sun to shine. Put some adventures in there.

Q&A

Q. How do I make my main character more liked by readers?
A. Specify that he is over 6'2"

Did You Know . . .

. . . that the ancient Romans only came up with names for three days of the month before they got bored and went back to swimming the Tiber and threshing? Such is how empires are made.

Clarification

That last story took place in a fantasy world much unlike our own. Shoes with false toes that make you look like a satyr are fine to wear in real life.