Shruti Nagar Dave's Blog

Do you feel ashamed saying ‘I need a day’ or ‘I am not available’ or ‘That’s too much work’ at work?

Many of us want to be high performers as well as be in good books as we know we work with humans and no matter how cool the employers sound and behave, there is certainly an impact of a ‘No’ in performance.

I wanted to share something insightful this hour and this article I am typing as I am thinking aloud so excuse me if I get lost in between. Specially this article I am writing for ’employees’. The time we are in, did teach us about work life balance for sure. Also, what goes in balancing the roles and being happy at both sides. I came across a lot of conversations about working from home initially was not working for many, and today when offices are opening at places, we get to hear the same thing; “Why, we are all good working from home?” The only thing in my opinion is a miss is that not all the jobs require offices, before pandemic there were jobs that could have been a work from home for other reasons. But there is a sense of assumption in employers that if it opens it must be same for all. Well I hear a lot of fear from the other side.

Now then, we all take time to adapt with change and the moment we do we are prepared for the next. Thats so cool in terms of self development. Here I wanted to highlight the nature of employees (of course I am talking about the group of people I have personally known and myself here) here. Even if it wasn’t the situation we are in right now, there always is a sense of shame when one does following:

leaves from office before the other colleaguesGoes on vacation with familyAsking for a day off and expressing unavailabilitySaying no to the task assignedSpeaking for once personal will.

All of the above behaviours are used by the other side as competition and fear where employees do not feel confident to express about living life with freedom.

What wrong in leaving early from work? How about acknowledging each one of us has different working style and effectiveness levels? it is ok, if you are done for the day and you wish to leave. I guess if you think this is with others too, then it is time for you to take that initiative and make your colleagues conferrable when they need to leave before the bell rings.

Going on vacation. Well I came across a meme.. when employees asked for raise they were told ‘for what, what work do you really do? and when the employees ask for leave they are told ‘well, you will do your job if you go on leave’. Funny there.. Now this isn’t always true but our brain are wired in the environment and culture we are in and that makes us behave in certain way. Again one has to break this stereotypical mindset.

I have known people who take pride not taking any leave or vacation and wait for a month in a year to be appraised. Well what for? cost of home time, peace, learning new things and self discovery.

The matter is to shift our focus to what matters to us the most.- Health, Peace, Passion- You cant say you dont need money, you do- you need money not just to survive but to live it as you dream, to pursue your passion and to discover your purpose in life. It is time to reflect what stops you to come up as powerful and be confident to share and express what you want.

-Shruti Nagar Dave

i WANT TO QUIT: bUT i AM STUCK IN KIND (Part 1)

90% of the people I interact with sound dissatisfied in the job. The purpose of their joining gradually turns into “we pay you, do what we say”. For people who are experienced and yet they struggle to get a deserving title or profile, market match pay and skill based job. Many take cover of the pandemic at present however it is not so. This has been going on for a while. But who is at fault? why is it what is it? Why are the employees who are not happy still at job?

I was in fact asking these questions to myself and one answer came out was ‘out of kind’. Really?? When you work you get emotionally attached with people and you hear all the comments from them about other employees which takes away your power to be selfish for a while. But who is not selfish, all of us are. We talk to people or we are in relation based on some interest that gets fulfilled. Likewise at work, either you are paid fine, you are given breathers and breaks or who are appreciated and your dopamine is fed. It sometime happens:

Employee: ‘Frustrated at job, prepares to meet boss and says it all’

Boss: Hi, how are you doing? how is family? I must appreciate you for this and that, you are an asset.

Employee: ‘WTF’ and is not more furious.

This is how employees are manipulated by these sweet words and you continue to slave for long time. Company or boss will make you feel guilty and put you in thinking where as they are the ones who needs thinking at first.

See what happens next in my next blog coming on Monday. I will share how employees are manipulated and how they become willing to park their dreams to fulfil bosses’s goals.

-Shruti Nagar Dave

(Help me quit this job I am currently in, by adding your experiences in comments)

YOU CAN’T BECOME GREAT WITH AVERAGE: EVERY LEADER MUST READ

“Great vision without great people is irrelevant.”
― Jim Collins

Why did you start the company? What was the initial vision and what were the pillars of its foundation? It is now years, you have grown and came far from where you started but something isn’t right yet, if you are still struggling to mark as a ‘Great Company’. Hello readers! I welcome you all to my blog space and like I do always, write what I study and experience. I write what I live and so here is one of such topics that I thought to express my observations and thoughts about. I am in job as well and that on the inside made me feel low, not because the company is not good, but since my teens I never wanted to be on job, I always dreamed to have my own little empire, however I am proud of the path I am on, it is indeed making me closer to who I am. Sometime the reality and what you expect disappoints you and distracts you from who you could be. That is where my acceptance of my reality came into existence.

Well that is a little background of why am I writing this blog. It is important to have honest, loyal and committed people. And most of them are, however it is important to first understand these elements as a leader. -Honesty, Loyalty and Commitment.

Honesty:

What it means? -Honest person- person who is honest to who he/she is, honest to share and express how they feel, honest with oneself

What is expected?- Honest with bosses and company

Loyalty:

What it means? – Being loyal to yourself and your words, being loyal to your purpose and priority in life.

What is expected?- Loyal to bosses.

Commitment:

What it means? – Committed to oneself, purpose and passion

What is expected?- committed to the contract and company- work hours and hours or on a Sunday or extra hours that shows commitment. Leaving Father’s birthday for work is commitment; leaving child’s ptm or school event and staying back at office is commitment.

I mean let us face it, even if it is not said but the way employees relate to each other is classic. I mean all the eyes goes up to the person who begin to pack up things at 6pm which may be the official time and still a colleague would get up and say ‘leaving early today?’- and the one who was courageous enough to be effective in work and complete work in given time, will hang on the desk just so that no one notices and waste hours that he or she could have spend with family. So how do we bring shift in the mindset? We want to bring in progressive approach but question is really? do you?

Of course I am making it general however there could be organisations which are beyond these expectations – I call them great company- referring to my most favourite book ‘Good to Great by Jim Collins’

Now then, what happens if the company is falling in the second line of case ‘what is expected?’. This company will have loyal and honest people to their bosses but competency ?? hmm. To be a great company meaning a company that reaches a place where they no more struggle to sustain. When in a company employees learn that the mistakes they make and accepting the mistakes in front of bosses will cover the fact that I am not good at my job. When employees are giving lot of chances to make mistakes – or say, repeat mistakes – They know they will get over it and be at the place. When the promotions or profiles are not giving as per the person’s knowledge of content and competency, it shows others to not care for quality of work and just hang on with it.

“The purpose of bureaucracy is to compensate for incompetence and lack of discipline.”
― Jim Collins

Sometimes to show how generous and-kind you are with employees you disrespect the employees who are passionate and commitment of quality they deliver.

Here are some signs the Leaders make that damages competent employees and you soon will lose them:Questioning them for other’s mistakes Giving them work because the other’s could not do, while they are sitting and following up with you for the work they are suppose to doTime and again ignoring the warning bell they ring for companyGiving incompetent people chance just to be kind to themSpending hours on average performing people by long meetings and personal trainings to make them learn what they must have known years beforeTrying to keep high performers with low performers assuming the low performers will get inspired to perform high. Well why would someone make any effort if they are anyway getting chances to stick on (this is not a school :))Not claiming the expert as leader- but suppressing them so that you still hold the space.Taking credit of the creators silently in meetings by stating hierarchy or authority. Being a mouthpiece instead of giving microphone to employees who deserve.

I can go on and on. I took time to write this one to ensure I don’t come from my own understanding but really take experience of others who must be sailing in the same boat.

“Letting the wrong people hang around is unfair to all the right people, as they inevitably find themselves compensating for the inadequacies of the wrong people. Worse, it can drive away the best people. Strong performers are intrinsically motivated by performance, and when they see their efforts impeded by carrying extra weight, they eventually become frustrated.”
― Jim Collins,

Actions that could balance the spaceBe careful of what you represent and communicate to employeesIf the same mistake repeats add consequence or let go may be that is good for both company and the employeeSet standard so that employees know the criteria of being a high performerSet defined goals and outcomeBe authentic rather than being in good books of allYou are anyway losing one, so make the right choice.Know your pattern, and break it!“By definition, it is not possible to everyone to be above the average.”
― Jim Collins

I recommend this book ‘Good to Great’ as it sets the tone clear with how can a company become great from good. And one of the powerful analogy in the book is of getting off the bus!

“The moment you feel the need to tightly manage someone, you’ve made a hiring mistake.”
― James C. Collins,

Reflection

yOU CAN’T BECOME GREAT WITH AVERAGE: eVERY LEADER MUST READ

“Great vision without great people is irrelevant.”
― Jim Collins

Why did you start the company? What was the initial vision and what were the pillars of its foundation? It is now years, you have grown and came far from where you started but something isn’t right yet, if you are still struggling to mark as a ‘Great Company’. Hello readers! I welcome you all to my blog space and like I do always, right what I study and experience. I write what I live and so here is one of such topics that I thought to express my observations and thoughts about. I am in job as well and that on the inside made me feel low, not because the company is not good, but since my teens I never wanted to be on job, I always dreamed to have my own little empire which did not come true yet, however I am proud of the path i am on, it is indeed making me closer to who I am. Sometime the reality and what you expect kills you and distracts you from who you could be. That is where my acceptance of my reality came into existence.

Well that is a little background of why am I writing this blog. It is important to have honest, loyal and committed people. And most of them are, however the company owners misunderstand the elements -honesty, loyalty and commitment.

Honesty:

What it means? -Honest person- person who is honest to who he/she is, honest to share and express how they feel, honest with oneself

What is expected?- Honest with bosses and company

Loyalty:

What it means? – Being loyal to yourself and your words, being loyal to your purpose and priority in life.

What is expected?- Loyal to bosses.

Committed:

What it means? – Committed to oneself, purpose and passion

What is expected?- committed to the contract and company- work hours and hours or on a Sunday or extra hours that shows commitment. Leaving Father’s birthday for work is commitment; leaving child’s ptm or school event and staying back at office is commitment.

I mean let us face it, even if it is not said but the way employees behave is in this insecurity. I mean all the eyes go up to the person you begin to pack up at 6pm which may be the official time and still a colleague would get up and say ‘leaving early today?’- and the one who was courageous enough to be effective in work and complete work in given time, will linger the desk just so that no one notices and wast hours that he or she could have spend with family.

Of course I am making it general however there could be organisations which are beyond these expectations – I call them great company- referring to my most favourite book ‘Good to Great by Jim Collins’

Now then, what happens if the company is falling in the second line of case ‘what is expected?’. This company will have loyal and honest people to their bosses but competency ?? hmm To be a great company meaning a company that reaches a place where they no more struggle to sustain. When in a company employees learn that the mistakes I make and accepting the mistakes in front of bosses will cover the fact that I am not good at my job. When employees are giving lot of chances to make mistakes – or say, repeat mistakes – They know they will get over it and be at the place. When the promotions or profiles are not giving as per the person’s knowledge of content and competency, it shows others to not care for quality of work and just hand on with it.

“The purpose of bureaucracy is to compensate for incompetence and lack of discipline.”
― Jim Collins

Sometimes to show how generous and-kind you are with employees to disrespect the employees who are passionate and commitment of quality they deliver.

Here are some signs the bosses make that damages competent employees and you soon will lose them:Questioning them for other’s mistakes Giving them work because the other’s could not do, while they are sitting and following up with you for the work they are suppose to doTime and again ignoring the warning bell they ring for companyGiving incompetent people chance just to be kind to themSpending hours on average performing people by long meetings and personal trainings to make them learn what they must have known years beforeTrying to keep high performers with low performers assuming the low performers will het inspired to perform high. Well why would someone make any effort if they are anyway getting chances to stick on (this is not a school :))Not claiming the expert as leader- but suppressing them so that you still hold the space.Taking credit of the creators silently in meetings by stating hierarchy or authority. Being a mouthpiece instead of giving microphone to employees who deserve.

I can go on and on, as these come from my personal experience. I tool time to write this one to ensure I don’t come from my own understanding but really take experience of others who must be sailing in the same boat.

“Letting the wrong people hang around is unfair to all the right people, as they inevitably find themselves compensating for the inadequacies of the wrong people. Worse, it can drive away the best people. Strong performers are intrinsically motivated by performance, and when they see their efforts impeded by carrying extra weight, they eventually become frustrated.”
― Jim Collins,

Actions that could balance the spaceBe careful of what you represent and communicate to employeesIf the same mistake repeats add consequence or let go may be that is good for both company and the employeeSet standard so that employees know the criteria of being a high performerSet defined goals and outcomeBe authentic rather than being in good books of allYou are anyway losing one, so make the right choice.Know you pattern, and break it!“By definition, it is not possible to everyone to be above the average.”
― Jim Collins

I recommend this book ‘Good to Great’ as it sets the tone clear with how can a company become great from good. And one of the powerful analogy in the book is of getting off the bus!

“The moment you feel the need to tightly manage someone, you’ve made a hiring mistake.”
― James C. Collins, since 2017

I wish I knew this before I turned 20

https://youtu.be/4fCN9aOdeyA

This interpretation of the mental state shift was amazing to create. I was just scrolling apps and opened less explored app that was SNAPCHAT. I was trying on filters when this thought came up.

Hope you enjoy the link in the video and share it if the message seems valuable

-Shruti Nagar Dave

A Renewed Outlook on Early Education- Most Awaited Book

Hello Readers!

This morning I received the final editing round digital copy to approve. Could not believe that it was my second book and first non fiction book I present to the world. I do not claim to be a writer, but surely I feel highest level of energy while I write a book. I feel myself and close to my higher conscious. Any writer would feel this way, isn’t it? But second book!!! Ah! could I be more happy?

I thought to write this blog for the readers to get an idea of what is coming to them soon this month and what is it about. I want you to connect with me more as a thoughtful writer over a good writing skills writer. I want to contribute to the world with help of the my brave approach towards life. I honor and reinvented my purpose after I was blessed to discover who am I? The moment the answer settled to ‘I am nothing but a soul’, I became clear on my path. I knew anything I do in materialistic world is not significant in terms of achievements however the experiences that would make me realise the truth of life and reality of soul. The Soul is meant to reach its Super Soul supreme that is God. I discovered this when I was in school. I still feel that was too late however for my some people it was too early, they said I was too young to get into spiritual space when I was in school. I am blessed with god’s grace to have found true spiritual Guru in my life.

One day I was beginning to sketch some thoughts to write, I was surprised with a statement (that is the title of my book) summarised my natural ability and I told myself, if this isn’t my second book then what is? The sketch was about things that matter to me and philosophy that I live and that narrowed down to ‘Foundation in early years education’. I have been 12 years old to education industry with diverse and versatile professional roles. I have been a teacher, Research Associate, Curriculum Developer and Designer, Education counsellor, Teacher’s trainer, Innovator and Ambassador to global organisation advocating innovations in education. I helped people open their own schools in Gujarat with my unique Education industry vision. With all of such experiences I could have easily walked a conventional path to growth professionally but the biggest pain was to see the comprised approach by people who claim to be educationist or leaders.

What exactly is that?

8 Reasons the High Quality Education still is a dream EGO – The Education Industry folks is run by people. People who are unaware of who they are? what is their purpose? Mostly we say who we are around what is acceptable and trending, what will look good and what will make us look superior. Be it parents, teachers or school owners- all of them are people and each one is struggling to exist with their ego. Ego is nothing but one tool that only damages your self and disconnects you from reality. When you are driving by your ego, reality looks unreal and you believe all the negative anticipations and react as per that. And that would only damage you more. Why I have mentioned Ego as the top reason is because we are not away from it. And this is one of the biggest hindrance in molding the right behaviour for our children; When people who work for children, with them or for them, are ego-centric, get offended for being asked a questions, then the children who are around are part of that toxic vibe and that enters their world. Think about it. How does ego look like in schools? Well, a silly as this could be I have witnessed a place where parent left school was because, the principal corrected him for a class name of his child he misunderstood. The child was in grade 2 section A and principal said, ‘Your child is in section B’. And the next thing I know was parent changed his child’s school. Isn’t it crazy? There was no consideration of the emotional well-being of the children where they might have good friends in class, they must be trusting finally teacher of their class, and expressing their fear with any concept of subject. But nothing, they are just children what do they know? This is what gives me highest pain, of not considering children as an individual. And on the other side, when school owner is given feedback on quality evaluation of as small stuff as having more items to play in school, in the ego of ‘I am right’, no new toys are bought and who is in loss, children. In my book, I have made it detailed to understand its impact on children.Education philosophy not grounded It is. huge responsibility to run a school, teach children and work for them in foundational years. I have known people who would only brush their trophies to claim their credibility to hold a say in education world. I am right because, I am a phd in something, I have got this degree and that. I have a question to them, ‘are you saying the degree you got 20 years ago is a relevant credential to claim your understanding of what children of current generation need? Are you saying your education is complete and you have nothing to learn more? I have high respect for people who keep learning no matter what age they are and what degree they hold. I respect people who understand that each generation has different needs and it is vital to learn from people who are half their age to be relevant and make sence to coming generation. So being ground is to live the philosophy yourself, you cannot promote progressive approach if you are conventional with your own children or your people. The schools that claim they are child centric and progressive, I have know the staff and owners not sure about it and they themselves somewhere have same fear as parents, so how are they the right people to hold the stage to speak and educate people on progressive education? think about it. In my book I have given instances to discover the gap and some strategies to reveal the impact on children. How do i know it? well I was a child once in my life Business over real contributionThe idea and thoughts look fascinating to open a school but when it comes to implementing the learning approach if at all it is progressive, many of them give up in front of parental demands. They fear if parents do not understand the philosophy they will leave the school so it is better to do what they say? Really? Parents need people to educate them with what is good for their children as they are joining school to have this collaboration. People who are committed for high quality education would argue but never leave the school because that argument is for them to convince themselves and understand what is best for children. It is funny, what I have heard all these years is the highest demand of ‘writing’ right from foundational years. School owners would bring them books and demand for writing work just because parents demanded and they do not have any idea or context of why writing or tracing or hand-writing is not the priority in foundational years. Before children write their are certain fine motor and pre writing activities that are prime to be developed. And writing is to express and communicate meaning not to get admission-in formal school. Well I have got some insights and stories for this section in my book. Cant wait for it to reach you.People pleasing Just so that people don’t dislike us or go away, many times we please them with fine words and actions. But we are not far sighted to see that it is only going to hold on for a while, it is not a long term repair. We like to be happy with a lot of numbers at start because we are weak enough to have patience to work for long term, Closed mind towards receiving feedbackFeedback is a friend to us and only way that can push us to being better. But above four points drive us and make us disempowered when someone tells us about what wrong we did. We do not want to listen anything against and that attitude stops people who work in education space to grow. It is not easy to run a school. If you are thinking to first spend time modeling the skills that theoretical you plan to nurture in children. Remember you can give what you have. Wise is the one who would take initiative to ask fo suggestions and guidance from the one who has mastered the philosophy.I Know It AllI know it all, don’t tell me what to do and so many more responses we give to the people who are into research or are living the approach in life. Imagine if we all know it all then why the research, why organizations and what is the value of the work people do to.support school staff who need to focus on implementation. You look small when you do that because people do get the one who fakes it and the one who made it. Think about it.Ignorance of gaps and mistakesCovering up and ignorance of unknown is similar to not seeing the opportunity to grow. Drop the idea of running a school if you are sure to own your own gaps and work on it. Afterall children will get what you give. I am sure this attitude won’t make our future pleasing.Not Discovering Real purpose Sometimes we do things to be called good. Or just because it would look good to others to say the kind of work you do. Sometimes we get influenced with others that we forget our natural ability and force ourselves to work towards the stuff that are of interest but based on outside influence. Opening a school is one such thing. In my book I have shared my life as a child and it’s impact I am sure people who know me as a passionate education enthusiast would get great value from it.

Thanks for reading. Share it if you feel it. Follow my thoughts on instagram @thesoulsmind and personal blog @spiritedshruti for daily inspiration.

Shruti Nagar Dave

I am shocked to see the impact on my insecurities in my life.

We experience being insecure in life at different stages. Sometime we are unaware however insecurity of anything comes on our way.

Watch this video and see how I managed it. And let’s come together to discuss what are the ways to deal with it.

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Follow me on instagram @thesoulsmind for books and mindful content
@spiritedshruti– personal blog

Release negative thoughts with Guided Meditation 15mins

New Episodes Every Fridays:

My name is Shruti Nagar Dave, and my intention is to share daily mindful practices and spiritual discoveries that touch souls. I’m blessed to have met inspiring people, and practice mindfulness, and I am on my journey as a spiritual seeker with the grace of my Guru and God which I’m sharing here with you. New episodes Fridays. Listen anywhere and anytime you wish to connect with yourself and detach from toxic thoughts. Follow this channel so that I can acknowledge that I did connect with you. I would be grateful if you please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it. Let us begin our journey to discover soul urge.

Guided Meditation to release negative thoughts #1

It is wonderful to be back here after a long time. To give my readers a background, I was working on my second book which is one Mindful Education in early years that highlights the wrong expectations of adults from children, what is it that children need in early years and how the kind kind of adults they live with impacts their future and so the world. Well, it has been a dream come true to have written the book. I hope the parents, teachers, schools and education enthusiast would choose to give it a read and own one, and see how it helps. It took about 8 Months to draft and weave this and build courage to actually get it published.

Meanwhile, I dedicatedly began to publish my podcast on my spiritual journey every Friday. I have been podcasting for years now, however had never distributed to digital platforms other than youtube. And It seems something was wrong as I hardly get about 23-40 views on my views something less than that. So I thought as my intention is to have this content reach those who would value, I had to search for a home for my podcast and then I found spotify, apple music and amazon music. I guess here it is performing 70% higher than what it used to in other platforms.

I work on my content as naturally as it could be, it is not a profession but who I am in the world and how I want to live. And this courage I nurtured only after 1 year of committed meditation practice and working on myself toward spirituality. Here is one of such scripts I use daily in the morning and before going to bed to refuel my energy and push to higher self.

I recommend you to try this mediation for about 21 days, morning and evening and see the magic that you experience in manifesting your greater good. You can either listen to it from youtube link before or listen to it on Spotify, apple music or amazon music, or you may try youtube music. it is everywhere for you to choose the best way. If you watched and meditated with this, please drop a comment or experience on my youtube video (link below) so that I get to know how many people it is helping and take inspiration to work more on it.

APPLE MUSIC

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mindful-practices-from-the-souls-mind/id1546045432

SpotifyListen to the podcast on my channel, follow and subscribe Amazon Music

https://music.amazon.in/podcasts/3ef55bff-f807-43b9-8d6e-c33077f0ee9c/MINDFUL-PRACTICES-FROM-THE-SOULS-MIND

Share and follow the blog for mindful content.

Keep up you guys!

-Shruti Nagar Dave

Only one thing is certain and that is

In the midst of the pandemic and situations going around. Many of us are full of doubts and questions. And those unresolved doubts are there with us from infinite births with us which is why we are still on earth. Each body has its expiration date which is not known to us or something that must not be even in the list to know. Your birth on earth in human form has a purpose. Human birth is a gift from god as only in this form we can attain god by practicing devotions, even the kind of heaven seeks the same and no other specie is blessed with the fact that they can sing, hear, preach god’s name or practice devotion.

In Mahabharata, Yudhisthira was asked some questions around to save his brothers, and one of the important question and answer was below:

Question by Yaksh: What is the most surpising thing in this world?

Yudhisthira: The most surprising thing is, though humans are mortal, everybody lives their life as if they going to live forever.

As humans our purpose is to realise that we are soul’s and our source is god. The world lured with materialistic ideas as on earth we are under the influence of Maya, which we are here to break by realising WHO WE ARE? A soul, a soul needs ultimate happiness which doesn’t exist in materialistic world: GOD = Ultimate happiness = supreme .. and we are souls part of god. each one of us gets birth as per the deeds carried in past lives (prarabdh) as well as current life. Each one of us needs to suffer all the karma as per that. The only thing that can get us out of this trap of choriyasi lakh yoni (84 species cycle) is BHAKTI= DEVOTION. (Period)

Those who realise the ultimate purpose of soul will experience the detachment they begin to have internally from materialistic desired. Since we cannot be without any work or deed, its like air (the glass is never empty) if there is nothing in it, it is filled with air. Similarly when we detach from world from the inside God takes his seat in a form we worship. He has no conditions but love. If you want to know how much god loves you, the answer is ‘ he loves you equally and as much as you love him’. If you are still alive meaning he has blessed you with a chance to turn your back and see he is waiting for you with open arms.

The live then would look like, you being a family person, doing all duties, earning money as much as you need from the outside and from the inside god’s name is what you sing, all your duties that you do are all surrendered to god. every action, deeds, achievement money are surrendered in God’s lotus feet.

You will is god’s will and your dharm is to serve god. (and all this is from the inside, people living with you may not even know how much you are surrendered to god, only your vibe will also show them the direction) Your job is to worry for you, you came alone and you will go alone. So in stead of changing others, walk on the path of self discovery and bhakti (devotion) that will feed your soul with its purpose.

radhe radhe