Kathryn Nelson's Blog, page 6

Interview with Lowenna (part 1)

Hi, Lowenna. Thanks for inviting me here this afternoon. We're sat at the table in the kitchen in the Temple of the Goddess in Jennston. What a beautiful old building, isn't it? You've lived here your whole life, is that right?

Yes, my adoptive mother, Shang-Lae, the High Priestess here, she found me as a baby in the shrine. I was lying under the statue of the snow hawk in the centre of the shrine, multi-coloured shards of light streaming down from the cupola far above. Lochlan, Shang-Lae's husband, carved the statue with the snow hawk's wings outspread as if it is swooping into land. The snow hawk is one of the Goddess's creatures, believed to carry Her massages on its sacred white wings. Shang-Lae found me lying under those wings as if it were sheltering, protecting me.

So, you grew up here in the Temple. What was that like? I mean, I'm just looking around now and we're in this big kitchen with a huge cooker, dried herbs hanging from the rafters. The back door's open, letting in the mild breeze, rich with fragrances from the garden and a hint of sea salt from the harbour. It seems very peaceful at the moment but I can imagine it gets quite busy?

You're right. At times, it's very peaceful and there are specific times set aside for contemplation and for Toa-tae, that's a series of exercises that strengthens our muscles, increases flexibility and focusses our minds. There's a lot of structure and discipline, a lot of learning too. Sometimes, we're really busy. and it gets a bit more chaotic. Like last spring, there was an accident in one of the warehouses down by the docks. A stack of crates was knocked over and we had about twenty patients rushed up here. That was a busy day but most of them were alright in the end.

You mentioned that there's quite a lot of learning and you're training to be a healer. How's that going? How far through the training are you?

I've been helping out and learning, I suppose, since I was old enough to hold a tray and pass bandages. All the healers are encouraged to continue life-long learning. We readily share knowledge and spend time in other temples to learn from each other. I spent six moons in the temple in Farrowton a few years ago, for example. There's always more to learn and no matter how many people I help, it's the ones I fail that haunt me and push me to work harder, do more, learn more.

It sounds as if you're compassionate and conscientious and trying your best. Let's leave it there for this session. I've a few more questions, if that's alright, we can cover next time.

Layers

I visited a historic house this weekend. There had been a dwelling on the site for over a thousand years. The original building had been knocked down and rebuilt multiple times. The house standing there today had originally been built in the 1700's, with additions and changes over the next two hundred years. The interior had also changed regularly. An upstairs library had previously been a bedroom. In one room, the wallpaper had peeled away from the doorframe to reveal the layer beneath. In paintings of the house from the 1800's, fields and rolling hills surround the property. Now, urban sprawl has crowded around and past. The hills are still there, now covered in houses and bisected by roads. What was there before, lies beneath, only now covered in a new scene.

I'm using the historic house as a setting for a new story I'm writing. In my version, the house is neglected, a secret haunt for vampires. As I stood on the front driveway, looking at the house, all these separate layers were overlaid, superimposed on reality. I could see what had been and what might be in an alternate world. Like the old Celtic stories, where the world of the fey is parallel to our own and if you stand in a certain place at a certain time of the year, you might just get a glimpse into that other realm.

I've experienced the same disorientating effect when I've returned to my childhood town. The park is not just a park, it's where I had my first kiss and where my friends comforted me after my first breakup. There's the paddock where my Grandad took me to feed Polo mints to the ponies. There's the café that used to be a hairdressers. There's the school playing field where I can see the ghost of my past self sitting in the sunshine of a distant summer.

The world we inhabit is multi-layered, rich with textures and memories and ghosts. When I'm creating fictional worlds, I try to remember to imbue this sense of multi-dimensionality. The world through which my characters walk is also thick with history, rich with culture. When I'm walking through my local town, I try to remember that this is just a snapshot, just a moment in the timeline. I try to remember all the people who have walked here before me and that how things are now, are not how they have always been, not how they will always remain.

Nourishment

We all need a healthy balanced diet. Plenty of fruit and veg, some protein and carbs, a bit of fat and sugar. We also know what's not good for us, just as we enjoy those sweet treats and take-aways now and again. Food is physical nourishment and I'd argue that this could extend to include healthy amounts of sleep and exercise too. Nourishing our physical body is about taking care of ourselves, looking after us and respecting our needs.

There's another aspect to nourishment too, which is often neglected in this fast paced, busy world. It's about what we take in with regards to stories. Books and news, music and talking with friends, TV shows and films, websites and social media feeds. Every day, we make decisions about what we watch and listen to, about what we take in, consume, absorb. And just like we can decide to reach for an apple rather than eat a chocolate bar, we can choose stories which are healthier for us. We can focus on good news stories like those at Future Crunch or Good News Network rather than consuming depressing, stress-inducing mainstream media. We can watch fascinating videos about engineering, maths, science, nature, wildlife or any creative, uplifting topic you can think of, instead of moaning, backstabbing soap operas or gut-wrenching, fear-mongering dramas.

We can read stories which expand our minds and question our beliefs. We can make sure that we tell stories which are founded on evidence-based facts, which help others, reassure and comfort them. We can be inspired by those who are courageous, compassionate, contemplative. The stories we read and the stories we tell are part of what defines us. Just as 'we are what we eat', so too are we the stories we tell.

Stasis vs change

Stasis is staying the same, staying exactly where you are, where you're comfortable. It is familiar and safe, comforting and secure. You know what's going to happen, you know it's going to be the same as last time. It's family traditions. It's fish and chips every Friday. It's taking the dog on the same walk every morning. It's taking the same route to work every day. It's going to the same supermarket and buying the same items each week. It's reassuring, affirming, relaxing in a way that makes you feel like you're in control.

Stasis is also boredom and apathy. It's being stuck in a rut. It's asking him to put the toilet seat down over and again without him remembering to do it. It's the same arguments every family gathering. Stasis is tedium, repeating the same tasks at work every day, eating left-over Sunday roast every Monday, knowing your commute so well you can do it with your eyes closed and wishing you were doing something else. Stasis is itchy feet, tear your hair out, restlessness. It's dissatisfaction, a nibbling, insistent urge to do more or different, to go somewhere new, try something you've never done before. Too much stasis can drive you into change.

Change is the opposite, the other end of the scale. It's new and unfamiliar, scary and uncertain. You end up questioning everything. You don't know whether you're coming or going, which way is up, which is the right decision. You feel overwhelmed, confused, anxious. Change is chaos, flux, disruption, turbulence. It shakes you up, rattles things loose. It's uncomfortable, outside your comfort zone.

Change is also excitement and adventure. It's trying new foods, going to new places, meeting new people. Change involves opening your eyes, your mind. It requires confidence, trust that everything will turn out alright in the end. Change is learning and growing, metamorphosis and transformation. It's a sense of achievement, of a challenge faced, a new skill mastered. Change is an inevitable part of nature and an inescapable fact of time.

As the seasons change, summer now sliding into autumn, we're reminded of the importance of balance. In a couple of days it is the equinox, when day and night are equal length (on Tuesday 22nd September). So in the midst of change, it's nice to pull on an old woolly jumper and bake a favourite recipe. Like in so many aspects of life, balance is the important thing to remember when considering stasis vs change. Too much of either is unhelpful, both are necessary.

Liminal

Liminal is that pause when you've taken a deep in-drawn breath and you hold your lungs full for a few heartbeats. You know there's going to be a great out pouring of breath, but just for a moment, a brief instant, you hold your breath, you hold that pause in your chest. You stand on the edge of the precipice.

Liminal is the moment of the wave that's crashed on to the beach, before it is drawn back out. It is the stillness of high tide, just before it turns. It is the space before the sun rises, when night has fled the sky but the day hasn't yet crested.

This is liminal. The in between. An intermediate place or time. A threshold. A transition. A state in between one thing and the next. There is suspension, tension, a stillness. It is the calm before the storm. It is the time between the votes being cast and the announcement of the results. It's that moment before a concert when the speakers are crackling and popping and you hold your breath, excitement uncurling in your stomach... and wait. Wait.

Liminal is the space between an idea and its actualisation, between the thought and the first step to bring that thought into reality. It is the space between finishing one job and starting another. An uncomfortable place in the middle of a career change where everything is uncertain, unsettled. You can review all that lies behind and see all that is to come ahead, but for a brief pause you stand on the fulcrum, the threshold. You hold your breath. You wait.... wait. There is stillness here. Just for a few heartbeats before you tumble forwards, into the future.

I'm now a full time writer

So I've been thinking about this for a while now and always managed to find some reason not to do it. But now I finally am.

I used to work as a marine biologist, which was mostly a fairly standard Monday to Friday 9-5 office job - particularly since lockdown has restricted fieldwork. There was a fair few occasions of leaping on to fishing boats at dawn to count cuttlefish and using underwater video cameras to look at the seabed and wading out off the beach to survey juvenile fish and measuring lobsters and other fun parts of the job. It's been a great career and I've worked with a whole host of great people... but there comes a time when you need a change and this one's been creeping up on me for a while.

I've been writing for a long time. Even since before I was a marine biologist actually, but it's always been a hobby, a 'when I've got time' sort of thing. Still, when I realised I'd written four novels in my spare time, in my 'I've got to write this idea down so it will leave me alone' time, then I started to think about publishing, about sharing what I'd written, in giving those stories space rather than hiding them on the hard drive of my computer.

My first novel, Gathering Darkness, was published in November 2019. I had a short story published in Pixel Heart (Issue 4). A novel (book one of a new series) was long listed in the 2019 Mslexia Novel Competition. And I started to think, 'I could do this', 'this might be fun'. And then I thought, 'but I won't make any money'. So a few more months passed and I kept thinking, 'I'd rather be writing', 'I want to do more of this'.

So I handed in my notice, quit my job, plunged into a massive career change. I've only got three more days left and then I'll be a full time writer.

A big change for sure, but not without due consideration. I'm fortunate to have a few savings and a supportive husband. I was worried that turning my passion into a job would crush the joy out of it so I've decided to take a year and then see how things are. I've got twelve months in which to write and explore and experiment. No pressure (well, maybe a little bit). The aim isn't a certain amount of money or a specific definition of success, just a year to try a few different things, see what works, and, of course, do lots and lots of writing!

Watch this space as I blog my progress.

Available now!

Wow! I can't believe it's finally happened. Hours and days and years of work. And now? Released. Published. Available for all to read. Finally.

Gathering Darkness is available on Amazon.

Wow! I'm so excited to be able to type that. My first novel. Published. I'm so proud. So pleased. So excited for the next phase. For exploring new territory. I can't wait for people to start reading it. For it to reach out into their lives. For something which has been known to such a small number of people for so long, to be now available to so many all over the world.

Go, read it. Leave a review. Tell your friends.

Gathering Darkness available now on Amazon.

Q&A 4: Are there metaphors in your stories?

Stories are personal. Reading is a private pastime. For any single story, each reader takes something different from it. I recently re-read a book I hadn't read for years and took from it something different from the first time.

Each story has something to offer; a lesson, a perspective, a thought-provoking, emotion-rousing response. Something to ponder, re-imagine, turn over and over in your mind. Something to tell your partner about, to discuss with your friends. Something to return to, a touchstone, a talisman, a sticky familiar memory. A scene, a character, a moment that stays with you, changes you, helps you grow.

This is why we read stories, why our ancestors told tales around the campfire, why the old themes are re-told countless times. The clothing might change but the archetypal characters remain the same. These are our heroes who give us hope, who show us how to strive to be better people, and the villains they counter, the baddies we boo, the monsters we cheer to see the hero defeat.

I write stories as they flow from my heart, as they're shaped by my mind, as they spill from my fingers. I spread my hands. Here. They're yours now. Take them. Take from them whatever you need. Take from them whatever metaphors you find...

Q&A 3: How long has it taken?

A long time. That's the short answer. Hours and hours and hours. Days and weeks and months and years.

I found an old notebook the other day with an early first draft of Gathering Darkness; crampt pencil handwriting scrawled across every page. The date: a while ago. Well, more than a while ago. More than ten years, more than fifteen years ago.

That's how long this is has been in development. How many years I've spent with these characters. They've been with me all that time. They've grown with me, changed and developed with me.

Clearly, I was not writing continuously for that time. There were weeks and months without writing a word. I was doing other things, life things. And what I wrote in that first draft, and the second and third drafts, hasn't all made it to the final cut. But those core ideas and characteristics have remained. Some of those words I wrote so long ago, are still there. And those that have changed, well, they've helped improve my writing, they've become the foundation upon which this story has been built.

Looking back at that first draft written so long ago, I think back over all that's happened over the intervening years. I think about where I am now, where the story is now. It's been a long journey. And in some ways it's only just beginning. It's over to you now. I'm giving it to you. Your journey's just beginning...

Q&A 2: How did the Ethra Born series begin?

It began with a drawing. A pair of compelling eyes staring right out of the page. A delicate feminine face. A strong, determined expression. A gemstone at her throat, her fingers touching it tentatively.

My pencil conjured this image from the blank page and I wondered; who is she? What is her story?

The first draft was terrible. Yet her character was compelling. She stayed with me. She met a man. They changed the world. I began to wonder what would their children be like, what would their grandchildren, their great, great grandchildren be like. What would the world that this woman with the gem had created be like for her descendants.

She was Theo's great, great grandmother, the seed that started the Ethra Born trilogy. I've since re-written her story and you can read about her adventures in The Blood of Heroes, the prologue to the Ethra Born trilogy.

You just never know where that 'I wonder' will take you...