Kathryn Nelson's Blog, page 5

Midwinter

Today is midwinter, the shortest day of the year, the longest night, the winter solstice.

I sit on the window seat and stare out through the rain-spattered glass. The garden is drab browns and greys, dormant, resting. Yesterday, I found tiny green shoots of some sort of bulb pushing up through the damp soil. Even in midwinter, there are a few signs of the spring to come. They sky is leaden, uniform grey clouds hanging low. A flock of crows wheel over the distant hill, black silhouettes gliding through the chill air. It’s not cold enough to snow but there’s that damp chill which seeps into your bones which even a hot bath and a glass of whisky has trouble chasing out.

I rest my chin on my hands and think about where I was last midwinter. I think about all that has occurred in the interim months. So many hours and days, so many thoughts and actions and choices. Yet the wheel of the year continues to turn, rolling onwards. And now I’m here again. Midwinter.

The window is cold against my shoulder as I stare out at the bleak garden. The trees are stark lines of ink. The flowers have faded, the plants resting. A robin hops up on to the bird table and pecks at the seed I put out there earlier. A second robin joins the first but the first robin chases the second one away. They zoom around the garden and over the hedge. Their flight disturbs a flock of sparrows which launches in to the air and they flap around each other, cheeping loudly. They settle back in to the hedge as a blackbird swoops down to the edge of the pond. Despite the cold, it jumps in to the shallows and washes vigorously, water droplets splashing everywhere.

A jay lands on the back of the bench. It’s soft brown plumage camouflages it against the bare branches behind. It turns a little to the side and there is a bright flash of blue. In the midst of its drab brown and black feathers are a few which are a tropical, jewel-like blue. It makes me think about the view I’ve been staring out at. I thought that it was bleak and grey and cold. I looked at the leafless trees and the flowerless garden and lamented the lost brightness of summer. Now, I look anew at the clean, geometric beauty of the tree branches, the variety of shapes of the evergreens, the depth of tones and shades.

The jay takes flight, glints of blue flashing with each wing flap. I feel my perspective shift. Rather than lamenting last summer and worrying about the year to come, I sit and watch what’s happening right now. I observe this moment. I watch for those bright flashes of astonishment and joy and light. I hold on to those, let them fill me, strengthen me.

Cover art & pre-orders

Ethra Born 2, Strengthening Spirit, has been a long time in creation. I did the first draft of the cover art over a year ago and there's been numerous versions between that and the final cover art that was finally revealed last Friday. There were a few frustrating times along the way where I'd been sat staring at it for hours, where I'd tried lots of different colours and layouts, and it still didn't look right. Perseverance, though, paid off and I'm super happy with the final result.

The story, too, has been a while in development. I found an old notebook the other day with an early draft of Strengthening Spirit in it from 2012. Parts of that first draft remain, other parts have been added or removed or changed through the various revisions. It takes time to craft something worthwhile.

As chef Marco Pierre White said, 'perfection is lots of little things done well'. Not that I'm claiming anything close to perfection, but I like the concept of 'lots of little things done well'. It helps keep me focussed on each word and sentence and paragraph and chapter. All those small steps adding together to create something larger. All those days stringing together to culminate in publishing a novel

I'm nearly there. The cover art is complete. The final draft is complete. I still need to do the formatting for ebook and paperback, plus a few other tweaks but I'm steadily ticking items off the 'to do' list.

Pre-orders will be available from Amazon from Tuesday 15th December and the release date is Friday 15th January.

I'm so excited that Strengthening Spirit is nearly ready for publishing. I can't wait to get working on Ethra Born 3, Seeking Truth.

Karnoss Forest

Karnoss stood in the middle of the forest with his bare feet firmly planted in the damp, rich soil. Tall beech and elm and oak loomed high above, the fluttering jewel-green leaves letting only glittering slivers of summer sunlight dance down on to the lower holly and hazel. At ground level, there was tangled ivy, bramble, grasses, chickweed, starflowers and sunbells rambling between patches of autumnal leaves and empty seed cases.

Karnoss stood in the middle of the forest in deep and ancient silence. He was miles from the nearest town, hundreds of trees between him and the grassland to the south, the mountains to the west and the farmland to the north and east. Except, as he stood statue-still and listened, breath held, he heard layers upon layers of sound. High above, the warm breeze rustled the countless solar-emerald leaves. A stronger gust caused a branch to creek softly. A flock of pipits chirped nearby, feeding on insects hidden in bark crevices. A wood vole scurried through dry fallen leaves and pattered down into its burrow.

Karnoss took a deep breath and let the crystal dynamic verve of the forest fill his lungs, filter into his blood, seep intoxicating into his mind. This was his forest and he was a primal, integral part of it. The forest was old. Generations upon generations of life and death and rebirth had seeped energy into the earth. Over the years, that energy had taken form. First, he had mimicked the animals that thrived there; stag, wolf, boar, owl and bear. Then he took the form of a man; lean and strong and wild, independent and free. He was the spirit of the forest. He could change between forms, bound by the forest and yet unrestrained. He was the stag running under starlit bare branches. He was the wolf howling at the moon, hunt's triumph on his tongue. He was the boar, surrounded by squealing striped piglets. He was the bird flying high, swooping low, twisting between vine-clad trunks; joyous cry harsh in hushed humid air. He was the bear, sleeping through winter's cold and rummaging through summer's bounty. He was a man, dancing with women at solstice celebrations, drinking with men at equinox festivals, respected and honoured. He was the hunter and the hunted, the forager and the finder.

Karnoss had watched countless years roll past as the forest changed and yet remained the same. Tress grew from tiny seeds to struggling saplings to lofty goliaths, changing coats of leaves a hundred times or more, before falling to decay. Animals, from tiny bugs to flitting birds to darting fish and scurrying mammals, were born every day. They lived – vibrant, vivid – reproduced and died. The rain fell and the rivers flowed. There were cycles within cycles, changing every year, every day, every heartbeat and yet staying exactly the same.

Karnoss stretched his arms high, felt the complex fluent force of life thrum through him, and smiled.

The festival

Exert from one of Janiece’s lost diaries describing Deanwood's midsummer festival attended by Karnoss, the forest spirit. Read Strengthening Spirit for more of Karnoss' story and more about the plight of Deanwood in Janience's descendants' time.

Ma and Grandma have been cooking since yesterday evening. Everyone helps with the festival and of course, some people think it’s a perfect opportunity for a little competition. Ma spent ages on the decoration for her spinach tart and Grandma’s made her famous fruit cake again. I helped stir the mixture. I’m sure she’s made enough for the whole village to have at least ten slices each! Holli and I have been getting ready all morning; helping each other with our dresses and hair and makeup. Ma says I shouldn’t put any paint on my face but Holli has some colours from her aunt who lives in the city and says that all the most beautiful women there paint their faces.

When we were finally ready, we walked down to the meadow together. All afternoon there were games and competitions, drinking and feasting. The fires were lit once the sun had disappeared behind the mountains on the far side of the village. By then, Karnoss Forest, which dominates the entire length of the meadow (and for many days’ travel to the north, south and east of Deanwood) was thick with shadows. I kept glancing into the impenetrable gloom beneath the towering canopy.

Karnoss, the forest spirit, always comes to our Midsummer Festival.

I was leaning against the Talking Tree, this incredible, ancient oak tree at the edge of the meadow, taking a break from the music and dancing, when he emerged from the forest. He’s tall and muscular and graceful. His footfalls are silent. He has wild, dark brown hair and the most incredible eyes; a deep mahogany brown ringed with holly green. Some claim that he can change shape, that he can take on the form of an animal. I thought about asking him but didn’t this time. Maybe I will next time but I don’t want him to think I’m rude.

He walked out of the forest and stopped right in front of me. He greeted me by name. He remembered my name! I’d made him a wreath of daisies and cornflowers. I took it off from around my own neck and held it out to him. I thought he would take it from me but he lowered his head and I placed it around his neck. He’s really quite intimidating close up. I hope he didn’t notice how much my hands were shaking. He asked me if I had any honey drops and I handed him the paper bag of them from my pocket. I’d really wanted to eat them. I’d been resisting all week. I knew how much he liked them. He emptied the sweets on to his palm and put the whole lot in his mouth. I couldn’t believe it! But his eyes lit up with joy and I was so glad that I’d saved them for him.

Karnoss’ mouth was too full of sweets to talk but he held out his arm and we walked together back into the thick of the festival. It was such an incredible night. I’ll never forget it. All the music and dancing, the leaping firelight and the laughter. The whole village was celebrating the summer and our very own forest spirit was there with us.

We danced late into the night, the stars bright overhead. It was a magical night, with so much joy and fun. I wish for every summer to be like this. The prosperity of our village comes from our bond with Karnoss. We invite him to our festivals and leave him offerings and pay him due respect. In return, he allows us access to his forest, so we can harvest the valuable malii.

Some people find Karnoss intimidating, frightening. He certainly has an aura of power and he isn’t tied by the same rules and restrictions as us. His eyes, too, are unnerving, as if they can see right into the truth of you. But, at the festival, he acted like any of the young men, drinking and feasting and dancing. When his arms were around me, spinning me through the fires, he felt as real as any man. When he kissed me goodnight, his lips were warm and soft against my cheek.

It was a magical, incredible night I’ll never forget.

Beech wood

I stood surrounded by the tall grey trunks of beech trees, deep in the silent forest. Each tree grew a little apart from its neighbours. Row upon orderly row of slender trunks, separate, aloof, all identical and all individual. I craned my neck to look up to the distant canopy. High above, branches reached out from the trunks, crossing and re-crossing, a complex, interwoven multidimensional lattice. Here, the trees grew together, identical and individual. The leaves shimmered in translucent summer sunlight, green and burnished gold. Deep, peaceful tranquillity surrounded me. Far from the bustle of home, I felt some fractured, frazzled part of my soul begin to heal.

Carpeting the ground were fluttering leaves, orange and copper and bronze. I frowned. I felt no breeze against my skin. Yet the autumnal leaves that completely covered the ground for as far as I could see in every direction were moving. When I concentrated on any one area, everything was still but when I looked out across the forest floor, there were dizzying waves of soft, mesmerising movement.

I crouched down to take a closer look. The tumbled image of jumbled leaves cleared to reveal a butterfly. It slowly fanned its wings; orange marbled with gold and copper, with complex splashes of deep bronze and spots of rust and black. I reached out to touch it and it leapt into the air. I looked out through the trees and saw the forest floor tremble. The innumerable butterflies that I had mistaken for fallen leaves, suddenly took flight. The air was filled with hundreds of flashing, fluttering insects. I knelt in wonder as I was surrounded by the erratic, swirling flight of kaleidoscopic orange.

Interview with Lowenna (part 5)

Thanks for inviting me back, Lowenna. Today, I wanted to ask you about your dog, Wraith. He lives here at the temple?

Yes, that’s right. He’s not allowed inside but he has a shelter in the garden. He’s a good guard dog. Also, he’s free to wander, we don’t keep him locked up here. He comes and goes as he pleases. When I travel, he comes with me. He’s very loyal.

He sounds like a good companion. Could you describe him?

His shoulder’s about level with my waist. When he puts his paws up on my shoulders – if he hasn’t knocked me over – he’s taller than I am. He weighs more too. He’s got soft, black fur and really soft ears. Some people find him a bit intimidating and he can be fierce if he feels I’m being threatened but, for me, he’s a real puppy. He loves ear rubs and tummy scratches. He’s a good hunter, everything from rats to rabbits to game birds. He did try to catch a deer once but it kicked him in the ribs and he’s been wary of them ever since.

That’s a big dog. I can see why some people might be intimidated by him. How did he end up living here?

I found him in the garden here. He was this little – well, actually not so little – puppy, shivering under a rosemary bush. I brought him inside and fed him, warmed him up. After that, I couldn’t get rid of him.

Well, Lowenna, I think that’s a fitting place to end this series of interviews. Thank you so much for your time. One last question; what’s next for you?

My main focus is studying healing. There’s still so much to learn, despite how far I’ve come. There’s still so much that healers in general don’t know. If only we could do more, we could help more people. We could ease their pain and bring greater wellbeing into their lives. That’s what drives me, I want to help people.

That’s incredible. I wish you the best of luck. Thank you, Lowenna

.

Interview with Lowenna (part 4)

Hi, Lowenna. Thank you for showing me the shrine last time. What an incredible place. I was speechless and that hardly ever happens to me! What a beautiful place to call your home. We’re back in the kitchen now. This time, I wanted to ask you about the Goddess. Can you tell me a bit more about Her?

As we saw last time, in the shrine, the Goddess is depicted in many different aspects, representing the different stages of life and the roles which women perform. In Jennston, the Goddess is represented by a sculpture of the snow hawk which is said to carry Her messages on its sacred white wings. In Farrowton, there is a statue of the Goddess as a young woman, smiling, barefoot, simply dressed. She carries a large jug, showing her generous and bountiful nature. On the wall of the temple in Farrowton is a mural showing the Goddess’ connection to nature. She is standing with vines wrapped around her arms and tall grasses and wildflowers twining around her legs. She also has huge, feathered white wings, Her sacred mark.

She sounds lovely, kind and compassionate. I can see how that fits with the healer part of the temple.

Yes, and also on a spiritual level. The Goddess Ethra is the spirit of this world. When we are born, a part of Her spirit is born with us and when we die, that part of us is returned to the world’s spirit. Everyone is connected through the part of us that is Ethra’s. It also means that through our actions, Ethra grows and changes. What we do throughout our lives, and particularly the manner in which we die, is carried back to Ethra, affecting the whole world.

So, our actions have consequences?

Of course. That’s always true but on a whole other level when you consider that we are going to return to the Goddess, that what we do has consequences for Her, for the world and for everyone else, connected as we are through the Goddess.

Wow, that’s quite a concept. Let’s leave it there for today. I have a lot to go away and consider.

Announcement of Book 2 release date!

I'm so excited to have announced last week that Book 2 of the Ethra Born series, Strengthening Spirit, will be released on Friday 15th January! Pre-orders will be available on Amazon from the 15th December.

I've been working on the cover art this week. Strengthening Spirit is mostly set in ancient Karnoss Forest where ancient spirits walk. Karnoss is the shape-shifting spirit of the forest. He has mesmerising eyes, mahogany brown ringed with holly green. This has been the basis for the cover art. The final version is still in development.

Also, I've updated my website, adding a new page for 'books', which sets out the four books in the Ethra Born series, and now separate pages for Gathering Darkness and Strengthening Spirit where you can read the first chapter of each book.

Here's an exclusive exert from Strengthening Spirit. This is one of Lowenna's first interactions with Karnoss.

Lowenna found herself standing in a clearing deep in a forest. She saw movement on the far side of the clearing and a large stag stepped out through the trees. He held his head high, proudly displaying his magnificent antlers. He looked at Lowenna intently and she felt as if she were laid bare before him, all her achievements and mistakes, fears and loves exposed. His eyes were a strange deep mahogany that bled out to a holly green.

A mottled brown owl swooped down and landed on the stag’s antlers. The stag did not break its stare from Lowenna. The bird ruffled its feathers then it too turned to gaze at her.

The undergrowth rustled as a large brown bear ambled into the clearing to the right of the stag. On the other side, a sleek russet wolf padded out silently and next to him snuffled a bristly, dark brown boar. The creatures stared at Lowenna.

She squirmed under their intense gazes. As she looked at each in turn, she realised that they were an eerily similar shade of brown and that they all had exactly the same eyes; mahogany ringed by green.

Interview with Lowenna (part 3)

Thanks for agreeing to continue this interview, Lowenna. I really appreciate your time and your honesty. Last time, we talked about what it means to be a Priestess of the Goddess. You told me that you were reluctant to take the vows to become a priestess. I’ve been thinking about this and have a couple of questions, if you’re alright to answer them. I’m in no way judging you for your decision, I just want to understand a bit more about priestesses.

That’s fine. I don’t mind talking about it. What did you want to know?

First of all, does becoming a priestess entail certain restrictions? For example, can a priestess still marry and have children?

Yes, but it’s not particularly common. Most priestesses live in the temple and dedicate their lives to the service of the Goddess. Others choose to marry and usually then have a home in town where they spend time when they’re not on duty at the temple. Priestesses have the same birth rate as any other woman in the world, typically two or three children, if they’re so blessed. The children are welcome in the temple, boys up until the age of ten.

You said earlier that you were raised here in the temple?

Yes, Shang-Lae found me as a baby in the shrine. She adopted me and looked after me as her own daughter. The other priestesses all raised me, too. It’s like a big, extended family.

And Shang-Lae is married now?

That’s right. She married this amazing sculptor called Lochlan. He created the snow hawk in the shrine and some other fantastic pieces too. That’s how they first met, actually, when Shang-Lae commissioned the snow hawk.

Lowenna, could we go and have a look at the shrine?

Of course. Let’s go out on to the street and then you can see what it’s like to enter through the main doors. There’s an internal door too, but you’ll get the full effect this way.

We stand up from the kitchen table and walk towards the front of the temple. Lowenna points out the rooms for the male patients, the female patients, the sick children and the birthing room. The storeroom for the medicinal herbs is locked. Near the front door is the staircase which leads up to the second storey where there are mediation rooms and sleeping quarters for the priestesses. Also near the front door is the emergency room where most patients are first brought for assessment and initial treatment.

We step through the front door and I turn to see that it is painted white with the healers’ symbol draw in red. The mark is a leaf curled like a cupped hand. To the left, is a set of large double doors ornately decorated in burnished bronze, set into the soft golden stone of the wall. Lowenna pulls open one of the doors just wide enough for us to slip through.

Light from the ajar door illuminates the tunnel-like entryway which soon opens up into a cavernous, domed, circular chamber. The walls are decorated with murals depicting the Goddess in her various aspects as a virgin maid, huntress, midwife and healer, wise old crone, spectre of death and as primordial mother. The snow hawk, an animal often associated with the Goddess, is painted alongside the Goddess, perched on Her shoulder or outstretched arm, or hovering above Her. At the peak of the dome is a wrought iron and multi-coloured glass cupola through which streams rainbows of light. The floor is a complex, patterned mosaic. On the far side, opposite the entryway, is an astonishing statue of a hawk, its wings outspread, its eyes watchful. The creamy, smooth stone seems to glow with an inner light.

I stand for a long moment, simply staring around me. There’s a great sense of peace and calm here. I turn to Lowenna who is standing next to the hawk, one hand resting on its head. I say the only thing I can think of.

Goddess bless.

Interview with Lowenna (part 2)

Hi, Lowenna. Thanks for inviting me back. Last time we talked about the Temple of the Goddess here in Jennston, how you’ve lived here your whole life and a bit about what happens here. I wanted to start by asking you a little bit more about what the priestesses do.

Well, the Priestesses of the Goddess provide free healing to anyone. We don’t turn anyone away. Some people can afford a private physician but most cannot. We get some funding from the King, but we rely heavily on donations. We require all patients to adhere to our tenets of care, compassion and contemplation. Other than that, we’ll treat everyone fairly and won’t ask any more questions than needed in order to provide healing. We respect our patients’ privacy.

That’s really great and clearly a crucial role in society. So, the priestesses’ main role is to provide healing?

Yes, predominately healing but we also grow, prepare and sell healing herbs. We provide meditation, spiritual and religious guidance. We perform ceremonies like marriages, naming ceremonies for babies and passing ceremonies for those who have returned to the Goddess. We also celebrate the eight festivals of the year which reflect the natural cycles of the seasons, midsummer and midwinter being two examples.

Alright, so the priestesses are a really important part of society, providing a variety of functions for the citizens. Not just providing healing for physical aspects but also looking after spiritual wellbeing. Last time, you told me a bit about your healer training. How is that related to becoming a priestess?

All priestesses are trained healers. Some choose to focus more on the herb lore and the physical healing, whereas others choose to concentrate on the ceremonies and the spiritual aspects, or a combination of both.

So, you’re a priestess? Ah, I can see from your expression that was the wrong question to ask. I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer if you aren’t comfortable.

No, it’s fine. It’s just that not everyone understands and it’s a little bit difficult to explain. The other priestesses are putting on some pressure for me to take the vows but I don’t feel ready yet. I love being a healer. I love helping people, making them better. I enjoy learning all the herb lore and medicinal treatments, I find that all fascinating and feel like there’s still so much more to learn too. I also like the tranquillity and rhythms of the Temple. I just can’t imagine being a priestess, it just isn’t me.

Alright. Let’s leave it there for now and we’ll continue this next time.