DeeDee Lake's Blog, page 3
October 25, 2020
I received my proof book!
This past week I received my proof book from Amazon. To feel your work in your hands is very rewarding, however, to know it will be in the reader's hands is indescribable. I hope this devotional for teen girls will bless the readers!
October 20, 2020
Next Step Blog for Teens
“You are enough!”
Anyone ever say you’re not enough …skinny enough? Smart enough? Popular enough? Or whatever enough? Yeah. It happens to everyone at some point. The thing is …what are you going to do about it?
I encourage you to not listen to the negative. It is so easy to get sucked into vile ick and fill your life with it. Negative attracts negative. If you listen to their junk and say it to yourself over and over again, you’ll begin to believe the lie.
I was popular, a varsity cheerleader, honor student, class president, and athlete in my school in Spain. Then in the middle of my junior year my dad retired from the military and we moved to his hometown – Hicksville, USA…or so I thought at the time.
I was the same girl and yet the move changed my “social status”. No one knew me, I didn’t make the varsity cheer team, the high school didn’t participate in the sports I had played in Spain. I didn’t fit in. The kids had always gone to school together and I was the “new girl”.
Eventually, I made friends. My life was different, and I survived. The same will be said of you when you graduate. You’ll make different friends than you had in school. The only person you can guarantee to show up in your life is you!
Love yourself. If you are short or tall make it work for you instead of bemoaning the inches you have. If you don’t like your weight, then choose to make healthy food choices and move more. You can make friends that are choosing the same things.
Don’t let someone who means you harm define you. They don’t have the right. Keep the power over who you say and believe you are.
Check out Tenth Avenue North’s song “You Are More”.
You’ll be glad you did!
#connectionexpert www.deedeelake.com “TenthAvenueNorth
October 18, 2020
It's getting real!
This past week I uploaded my book to Amazon. I can hardly wait to get the proof copy - the one with the strip across the cover.
I'm working on being a good leader of my book launch team. Hope it turns out well.
I never realized how unsettling prompting a book could be. lol This week I'm hoping to reach out to youth groups and high schools. I'll let you know how that turns out!
Take care.
#ConnectionExpert www.deedeelake.com
October 14, 2020
Unmet Expectations
Unmet expectations are most often the root of all anger. I heard Dr. Phil give that as a definition of anger years ago and it stuck with me.
Unstated, Unmet Expectations
I would go one step further and say that unstated, unmet expectations cause most of our anger. Expecting people to know what we want without telling them is the first step to insanity. (I’m not really a doctor but I play one in my head.)
The definition of insanity it is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. The same could be true of unstated, unmet expectations. If we continue to fail in telling someone our expectations how in the world can they possibly meet them?
Extraordinary Change
If you don’t move past the expectation that someone should just know what you want, then your relationship is doomed to remain ordinary. Extraordinary relationships have something in common and that is speaking what you expect from the other person. The greatest relationships all benefit by their ability to be direct and kind. It is possible to ask for what you want without sounding demanding or annoying.
Isn’t it wonderful when you know exactly what someone else wants from you? No more guessing games or wondering if you have measured up. Give your close friends and mate the opportunity to speak into your life, it gives you the benefit of speaking truth and love into theirs too.
Remember, just because you state your expectations doesn’t mean the person has to fulfill it or agree with you. However, knowing what you want makes it a lot easier for them to try.
My Advice:
Let people know exactly what you want, it will stop the guessing games and change your relationship from ordinary to extraordinary. You can do it!
#ConnectionExpert https://deedeelake.com/unmet-expectat...
October 13, 2020
Next Step for Teens
Some people have difficulty speaking the truth. Not sure why. It is so much easier when you are consistently honest and don’t have to worry people will question your integrity.
It takes one conversation at a time to build a relationship and a by-product of that is you are building a good reputation. Speaking what is true, encouraging, and life-giving creates your reputation as person who is trustworthy to believe.
Tell the Truth!
You know people who you have to wonder and question things they say. Don’t be that person. It’s simple. Always tell the truth. If you can’t speak the truth than grab a hold of your tongue and stay quiet.
My dad was a codebreaker for the Navy. Thankfully, he could always tell if I was being untruthful. The consequences were not fun. So…I learned to tell the truth. It is sooo much easier to be a truth-teller than a …. Well, a Liar!
Delayed Bad News, Isn’t Good
Do you feel like sometimes if you tell the truth you will hurt someone’s feelings? Yeah, that’s a tricky situation. No one likes to hear hard things about themselves or their situations. Perhaps, they may get upset at first, but if they are truly your friend they will know you as a honest person and understand you care about the integrity of your relationship than trying to make the person feel good for a moment.
They will find the truth – eventually. As their friend, they might be hurt that you never told them the truth when they needed to hear it. The important key to remember is to be honest, but never harsh.
Try to use kind words of understanding when you deliver bad news. Seek to be the truth teller in all your relationships.
You’ll be glad you did!
#connectionexpert www.deedeelake.com
October 9, 2020
Debut Author of Next Step
I began writing it four years ago when I realized the message women internalized that they are not enough begins way before they are grown-ups. I wanted to reach them before the culture fills them with negative ideas about themselves.
I became a Christian at 17 and had no one to teach me how to act like one, what to do next... I had no idea.
"Next Step" is a teen girl 4-week devotional with advice, prayers, explanation of "churchy" words, journal prompts, quotes, and stories. There are videos and a private FB Group for the reader to connect with me, the author, and other teen girls.
This book is a love letter to teen girls as if I'm walking alongside of them. There are quotes from women ages 20-70ish about what they would like to have known when they were younger. They are truly Titus 2 women of faith.
My hope is this book will be a guide as teengirls discover and decide who they are in this world. I've created video links to go along with each week to encourage them a little more.
Next Step. You've Accepted Jesus ... Now What? is written to do alone, with a mentor, or in a group setting. If you are a teen girl or know one, tell them they'll want to get two Next Step books - one for them and one for a friend!
Hope you enjoy the book!
Be Wary of Wet Leaves
The woman in her early thirties walked up to me after a luncheon and proudly declared, “I didn’t speak to my husband for three days this week.”
I was stunned. Being a woman, especially a woman of many words, I could not imagine not speaking to my husband for three days.
“Seriously.” I squeaked out. My eyebrows nearly reached my hairline. I was surprised and disappointed. She knew I would not think this was a good plan for her marriage. I had mentored her about her marriage relationship a few times before.
Clear Communication is Work
She and her husband were on rocky ground with their communication issues. This time could be the tipping point for permanent damage. Or maybe, this was just the way she wanted to operate within the give and take of their day-to-day interactions. I begin to think, perhaps she likes the drama of it all.
Clear and great communication does take work, but it is not impossible. Men and women at times do seem to speak different languages. My husband and I call it “manese” and “womanese”.
The truth is people just communicate differently. It doesn’t matter if you are male or female. My husband is not a concrete communicator. He thinks he is communicating perfectly well and myself and our kids often need to ask him to explain exactly what he wants us to understand.
Husband’s Warning
We have a funny story about wet leaves that is a perfect example. For years, my husband would say, “be careful of the wet leaves.” Now, being a good wife, I would say, “okay.”
Honestly, I had no fear of wet leaves and didn’t have any concern of leaves causing me harm. I didn’t have a clue why he continued to warn me of these dastardly wicked wet leaves.
Finally, after years of his dire warnings, I got fed of up and in a fit of frustration yelled something about why should I be afraid of leaves. If I remember correctly my fit became more like a several minute rant about his years of Dangerous Leaf Weather Warnings.
He waited until, with my hands on my hips, I puffed with my last full breath, “why should I be careful of the wet leaves?”
My precious, sweet husband quietly said, “they’re slippery.”
“oh”. That’s all I could say in response.
What Are You Communicating?
That rant happened nearly twenty years ago. We laugh about it, but also use it as a reminder that we may not be communicated what we think we are. My husband thought by just saying “be careful of the wet leaves”. We would all understand we could slip and fall. None of us did.
The young woman’s silence gained her nothing. Her husband after the three days still had no idea why she was upset. The only thing she had done was alienate him further and continue to keep problems unresolved.
My Advice:
Say what you mean and make sure the other person clearly understands what you mean. Of course, always be careful of slippery wet leaves!
#ConnectionExpert https://www.deedeelake.com
October 7, 2020
Seasons Change
It is that time of the year again. Short days. Long nights. Cooler to cold temperatures. Time to get gloves, scarves, and hats out. Time to bring the plants, we spent all summer watering, in from the cold. The holiday season approaching in every department store.
We all lament Christmas and Hanukkah arriving before we’ve celebrated Trick or Treat with all its own delicious delights. Why do the retailers have Christmas displays out before we’ve gobbled our treats and put away the ghoulish decorations? Carols can be heard before Veteran’s Day, almost forty-five days before Christmas. Nothing like putting the horse before the cart.
Autumn – Great Time of the Year
My favorite time of the year is Autumn. Trick-or-Treat, Veteran’s Day, football season, the beginning of a new school year, new school clothes, scout troops and clubs start up again, the first school dance and many wonderful activities are all in Autumn.
We celebrate two eating holidays in the Fall. What could be better than that?
Live Well
We aren’t promised a long, healthy, or rich life. In fact, we are only promised today, use today as an opportunity to live your best day ever. Living well is when we live every moment with purpose, forgiveness, and love. When we …
pause to play peek-a-boo with a baby in a grocery cart, even if you are wearing a mask help an elderly or disabled person reach an item on a top shelf chat with our neighbor play catch with the kids take time to listen … then we have lived well!
Our Job
Seasons are meant to change and each with its on purpose. It says in the Bible in Ecclesiastes 3:1 “There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven…”
Retailers will continue to display Christmas in October.
Radio stations will play non-stop Christmas carols for two months.
It’s our job to celebrate and live fully every day to its full potential.
My Advice:
Remember seasons change and so should we!
#ConnectionExpert https://www.deedeelake.com
October 6, 2020
Change…It’s going to Happen!
Hope your Autumn is amazing whether you are doing virtual or in-person school. You’ll talk about this 2020 year to your grandkids. They won’t care, but you’ll tell them anyway. Lol
Even though the world is going a bit wacky these days you still have some experiences to do. Surviving middle or high school is tricky when the culture isn’t erupting around you. I can’t say I understand what it feels like to be a teen these days. I admire teenagers – your drive to succeed, to change the world for the better, and to seek relationships are all admirable.
Life is hugely different!
But…life is always different. Seasons always change. God made them that way. We have seasons in our lives, and they change too. I never thought when I was 15, I would have grey hair and grandkids. Wow…that makes me sound super old.
Even when we have things all planned out, they rarely go according to our idea. That’s not necessarily bad, it is simply true. Without change life doesn’t happen, did you know that? We and the world around us are in a constant state of change. Sometimes they are not so great and other times it is amazing.
Like a shooting star!
Before you saw it, the sky looked static and then something exciting came screeching across the night sky and then changed back to the stars and moon just slowly moving.
Enjoy all the moments in your life – the routine and the exciting.
You’ll be glad you did.
#connectionexpert www.deedeelake.com
October 2, 2020
Does your husband have a brother?
Yes, he does have brothers. No, they are not like him and are not available.
In answer to your next question (I get this one a lot), No, my hubby doesn’t hire out for husband training.
He wasn’t exactly self-taught. My mother-in-law was an amazing woman who raised a son who is romantic, caring, funny and engaging.
Yes, I know I’m blessed.
Spoiled or Loved?
When I share how Seth brings me breakfast in bed every morning or how he never lets me clean up anything sticky women think I’m spoiled. I suppose to some degree I am. Okay, to a large degree I am, but I prefer to say I’m loved. My mother tells me often that I don’t deserve him. I’m not quite sure how to take that. Is she saying that he is too good for me? Or is she saying that I’m not good enough for him?
Beautiful and Flawed
He loves God. He loves me. He loves our kids and grandkids. He is kind to animals and strangers. He has dreamy blue eyes and smells good. But just like all romantic male characters, he has flaws. This beautiful man is messy and often misplaces things.
He leaves his socks beside the bed every morning and rarely ever makes the bed in the morning. He drives my car and leaves behind his coffee cups and food wrappers, tools, shoes, and other random things I have no idea why he needed them in the car in the first place. Before texting, he often went to the grocery store only to return with bags of groceries and few of the items he originally went to procure.
We are very different. I’m driven. He loves the journey. I’m passionate. He supports my vision just because he knows it is important to me.
Love the Mate You Have
Marriage isn’t about having the perfect mate. It is about accepting and being grateful for the mate you have. We are all imperfect. We all have flaws even the ones in romantic novels.
My Advice:
Love what is loveable. Ignore what can’t be changed. Accept your mate for all their flaws and strengths …. and hope they do the same for you!
#ConnectionExpert https://www.deedeelake.com
