Jeff Strand's Blog, page 65
May 24, 2015
WOLF HUNT Video Review
This handsome gentleman posted a video review of WOLF HUNT. Check it out!
May 22, 2015
Read Or Write Anywhere!
Whoa! It’s contest time! The YA Chicks are running the Read Anywhere Write Anywhere contest, where YOU can win free books and other stuff! From May 22nd at 9:00 AM EST through May 31st at 11:00 PM EST.
Just visit fine author sites such as this one and find pictures of authors a) reading anywhere, or b) writing anywhere. YOUR job is to guess where these pictures were taken. If you’re right, you’ll be entered to win! Because we’re not monsters, each author will provide five clues.
CLUES:
1. This is a photograph of me with a large elephant. (Okay, some clues are less helpful than others….)
2. This is not a real elephant, as you can tell by the fact that I’m standing there with a serene expression, instead of running around screaming as I try to avoid being stomped by its mighty feet.
3. You can actually go on a tour inside of this elephant. Cool, huh? How often do you get to walk around inside of a giant elephant?
4. The book Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen, though one of my favorite books of all time, is unrelated to this picture. Sorry.
5. The elephant’s name rhymes with “You-See.” It’s a tourist attraction in a city where, if you play Monopoly, you’ll recognize many of the street names.
To enter your answer, head on over to http://www.yachicks.blogspot.com/!
To see the official prize listings and links to all of the other authors who are participating, click here! http://www.yachicks.blogspot.com/p/read-or-write-anywhere.html
May 18, 2015
STALKING YOU NOW Cheap!
The Kindle edition of my novella STALKING YOU NOW is currently only 99 cents! But for how much longer??? I don’t know. I was out of town and didn’t get to update my website when I first heard about this astonishing deal. But it won’t last much longer, so CLICK CLICK CLICK before it’s too late!
May 9, 2015
Stokers Tonight!
Watch the Bram Stoker Awards live tonight at 9:00 PM EST. http://m.ustream.tv/channel/stoker-awards-banquet
May 6, 2015
Live Webcast of the Bram Stoker Awards!
If you’re not going to be in Atlanta this weekend for the World Horror Convention (frowny face) you can still watch the Bram Stoker Awards banquet through the very same internet that you’re using to view this blog!
The banquet begins at 9:00 PM EST on Saturday, May 9th. It’ll probably be about an hour and a half.
Just visit:��http://www.ustream.tv/channel/johnpalisano
NOTE: For up-to-the-minute-updates (including a backup webcast URL that hasn’t yet been announced) check ��https://www.facebook.com/groups/37533....
May 5, 2015
BAD BRATWURST Auf Deutsch!
The English-language edition of BAD BRATWURST is only available in the White Noise Press chapbook, but there’s a German translation in the new edition of VISIONARIUM! Cannibalism comedy in two languages!
http://www.amazon.de/dp/1511834099
May 4, 2015
BAD BRATWURST – Available Now!
Yep, if you head on over to White Noise Press you can get your very own copy of my new chapbook, Bad Bratwurst.
Klaus has made the finest bratwurst in Germany for thirty years, but his shop has fallen upon hard times. He needs to try something new. Something innovative. Offer a product his customers can���t get anyplace else.
The answer may or may not involve human flesh. We���re not going to spoil it right here in the description. Sure, this is a tale of MIND-BENDING HORROR, so you���d be justified in thinking that bratwurst made from people may be somehow incorporated into the narrative, but maybe that���s not it. It could be something completely different.
Look, if you enjoy stories about cannibalism, we���re not going to steer you away. There may indeed be somebody eating meat that used to be a living, breathing human being. We won���t completely discount that possibility. We���re simply saying that it���s not the ONLY possibility.
Okay, fine, this story is about eating bratwurst made from human flesh. Are you happy?!?
From Jeff Strand, the author of PRESSURE, DWELLER, and DEAD CLOWN BARBECUE, comes the ultimate in cannibalism themed chapbooks. Don���t lick the pages. You don���t know what they used to be.
April 30, 2015
Bratwurst In The House
My author copies of Bad Bratwurst arrived today. Yes, they come in a snazzy blue envelope. You can order your very own copy from White Noise Press on May 4th.
April 29, 2015
Collection III Title
I almost have enough short stories to fill a third book…however, a few��of those stories haven’t even had their original publication yet, and many of the others are still too new, contractually, for me to reprint them. So I decided a while back that my third short story collection would be all-new material.
I haven’t written a word of it yet, but at this point, the title will be��Gut Busters.��Keep watching this space for updates throughout the writing process. (And sometime soon I’ll write a post about how writing seven brand-new stories for��Dead Clown Barbecue��backfired!)
Meanwhile, my joke-writing for emceeing the Bram Stoker Awards is coming along nicely. If somebody were to say, “Surprise–the awards ceremony is TONIGHT!” I’d be screwed, but since it’s more than a week away and I’m almost done, very little perspiration is being leaked.
I do need to pick something for my reading at the World Horror Convention. Right now, I’m leaning toward an excerpt from��The Greatest Zombie Movie Ever.
April 27, 2015
Eyeball Inspection
I had my annual eye exam today. In a bizarre change from standard operating procedure, my prescription didn’t get stronger, meaning that��I HAVE CONQUERED THE AGING PROCESS!!!!!!��I will use my newfound immortality to catch up on��Orange Is The New Black,��and also maybe to watch��Daredevil��and��The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
Have you ever been expecting a bad customer service experience, and it’s almost a little disappointing when you have a good one? When I transferred my screenwriting software to my new computer, the serial number used to authorize the new machine didn’t work, and in fact it wanted a completely different number of digits. And I was all like, “Those bastards are going to tell me that my license is no longer valid for this update of the software, and I’m going to be FILLED WITH ANGER AND RAGE AND FURY!”
But, no, they just sent me a new serial number and everything is working fine. It was a complete waste of some perfectly good indignation. Bummer.
