Sarah K. Butterfield's Blog

January 14, 2025

The Art of Living Well: How To Paint a Life of Meaning

When journalist Bianca Bosker set out to understand the world of contemporary art, she took the opportunity to observe artist Julie Curtiss in her studio. She writes:

“Seeing Julie paint offered clues for how to look at a painting like an artist. I needed to slow down, examine its physical form, and consider the artist’s decisions. Because painting is constant decision-making.” (From Get the Picture, by Bianca Bosker, p. 89)

It struck me that, in this sense, the process of painting is just like the process of living our daily lives.

Each morning, we wake to a blank canvas and every decision we make is a brushstroke. We hope to create something beautiful with the days that make up our lives, something meaningful and lasting. But like artists, we are constrained by limitations. We all have 24 hours in a day—like the frame around a canvas, our choices are bracketed by time and space.

Within that frame, however, we have lots of freedom. Artists have a plethora of colors and tools and media to choose from. Similarly, our decisions about how to spend our time can take us in a thousand different directions. And our decisions are governed—consciously or not—by what we value.

If productivity and efficiency are prized, then we will pack our days full, leaving no white space on the canvas. If presence is the goal, we’ll make room to slow down, to be surprised. We’ll make different decisions based on whether we want to invest in relationships or the stock market, whether to pursue joy or achievement, whether to consume or create, whether to prioritize future or immediate gratification.

Often, we mix both choices to create a new in-between color. The truth is: our daily decisions shape our lives.

But for as much agency as we have, we must also acknowledge that we are not in control. Life has a way of throwing us curveballs: we face the unexpected, we must meet unanticipated needs, and interruptions derail our carefully laid plans. Loving other people is a guarantee that this will happen.

Jen Pollock Michel notes: “To belong to one another is to suffer the loss of independence, the loss of protected, cherished time.” (From In Good Time, by Jen Pollock Michel, p. 103)

That means that often, the picture we have of our day (or our lives) in our head isn’t the one that ends up on the canvas. There is freedom in surrendering to reality. On the threshold of a new day, a new week, a new year, we pray for the wisdom to decide well and trust God when decisions seem to be made for us.

How can we do this, practically speaking?

1. Name our limitations
Our personal limitations are like the four-sided frame around our canvas. Just as God gave limits to land and sea, day and night, so too did God create us with limitations. We are creatures who cannot survive without sleep, water, and food. Everyone is limited by the number of hours in the day, and by our place and time in history. We were not made to be limitless, and so we must learn to embrace our limits instead of seeing them as the enemy.

One way that we can make wise decisions around our use of time is to name and respect our personal and particular limits in whatever season of life we happen to be. Maybe those limitations include a chronic illness, or intense care-giving. Maybe the limitations center around our kids’ schedules and our hours at work. When we try to push past our natural limitations, we end up hurried and harried, exhausted and burned out.

It can feel discouraging when our free time shrinks to nonexistent, but the good news is that our Creator is limitless, and God transcends our limits to be with us in the here and now. God can work in and through our limits. Like author Ashley Hales says:

“We must learn to see our limits as the entrance into the good life, not what bars us from it.” (From A Spacious Life, by Ashley Hales, p. 32)

2. Honor our capacity
Painters do not have an infinite amount of paint to use: they are constrained by what’s in their supply. Similarly, what we can handle and take on is constrained by our capacity. Our energy levels, our mental and physical health, and our season of life determines our capacity. And this differs person to person so it can be easy to fall into a comparison trap. It might seem like our friends are handling everything well, able to do all the things we wish we had time for. But the truth is, when we are faced with an opportunity, we must decide whether we have the time and energy to devote to it. We might be wise with our yeses and nos.

Jesus knows what we can carry and he isn’t withholding his approval if what we can carry right now is less than our neighbor. Honoring our capacity is a way to steward our time and our energy.

3. Identify our values and priorities
Just like painters pick and mix their colors based on the vision they have for their painting, we too shape our days around our values and priorities. When we are intentional about naming what those values are, they can help guide our daily decisions and determine our priorities.

Our values can be a lens through which we evaluate opportunities that come our way. If someone values hospitality, they might protect their Sunday afternoons so they can invite others to share a meal with them. If someone values self-care, they will prioritize rest—turning down invitations that would keep them up too late. If someone values friendship, they will prioritize spending time with a friend instead of getting more work done.

What is important to you during this stage or season of life? Let those values guide your decisions around time.

4. Let go and make room for God
Every painter is influenced by art and artists they love, inspired by great artworks they have seen. In the same way, followers of Jesus are inspired by our relationship with God. We want our lives to honor God, and we want to partner with God in kingdom-building work, so we want to be influenced by the Holy Spirit.

We pick up our daily paintbrush and pray that God would guide our brushstrokes. We leave room for the possibility of interruptions, mistakes, and unexpected sharp turns. We trust that God can turn our mess into something beautiful. We trust that God’s fingerprints are all over our painting, even if what we see on the canvas doesn’t match the vision we had in our head.

This is perhaps the hardest part, especially for those of us who like to cling tightly to the reins of control. Can we pray over our daily to-do lists, our weekly schedules, our New Year’s goal and intentions? Can we get quiet, listening for the nudges and prodding of the Holy Spirit? Can we soak in God’s word, letting the truth of God’s love and goodness be the backdrop against which we make our decisions? I pray it would be so as I pick up my paintbrush and live another day.

If this post resonated with you, I’d love to invite you to dive deeper into making the most of your God-given time. When you subscribe to my blog, you’ll receive a FREE digital copy of my book Around the Clock Mom: Make the Most of Your God-Given Time. It’s filled with practical tips and encouragement to help you steward your time wisely and live a life of purpose. https://sarahkbutterfield.com/book/
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Published on January 14, 2025 17:32 Tags: christian-living, faith, time-management

January 11, 2021

Self-Care for Busy Moms When You Don’t Have Time

There’s a dangerous myth in Christian culture that can effect our health and well-being. Maybe you’ve seen it floating around in one of its many disguises, but it boils down to this:

Self-care is selfish.

Moms are especially prone to believing this lie. We are supposed to be masters at setting aside our own needs to care for the needs of our children. We give our time and energy to those we love, day in and day out. But the reality is that we can empty ourselves – no one is designed to be an endless wellspring of energy. And if we don’t take the care necessary to be refilled and refueled, we suffer and so do the people around us.

"Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch." - Parker Palmer "Let Your Life Speak"

As soon as we dispel this myth and as soon as we embrace our need for self-care as loving, necessary, and healthy, we are confronted with another lie:

Self-care is about pampering and luxury.

There is a multi-billion dollar industry ready to sell us all the night creams, facial masks, bath bombs, and home spa treatments we can (and can’t) afford. To rely solely on the feel-good products we can buy won’t get us far. I can use an eye-cooling mask to freshen up my tired eyes, but what I really need is to go to sleep earlier.

The truth about self-care is that it looks a lot like “adulting.” I think about it on two levels: the short-term level and the long-term level.

The long-term level of self-care

On the long-term level, you are thinking about self-care from a big picture perspective. You are in it for the long haul, willing to do what it takes to invest in yourself now to ensure a healthier future. This kind of self-care includes: making a budget and sticking to it, physical exercise, eating more vegetables and drinking more water, going to bed on time, scheduling that doctor’s appointment, finally seeing a therapist. These are unglamorous tasks and they’re definitely not as fun as getting a massage. The payoff for your overall mental and physical well-being, however, is huge!

The short-term level of self-care

On the short-term level, you are thinking about self-care from a “right now” perspective. It involves those little things you do for yourself that give you immediate gratification. Here’s where that new bottle of nail polish might make sense. Or that fancy chocolate you’ve been hiding from the kids. Or putting your feet up and getting cozy with a good book. It’s in these little moments where the lure of social media can be a trap. Scrolling on my phone is a way to zone out, but it never leaves me feeling rested or refreshed. Instead, it’s been helpful for me to take this perspective: “What soul-filling activity to do I have time for?”

Self-awareness is key

The first step of self-care is self-awareness. Naming your current emotions can steer you in the right direction. When we identify our feelings, we can better determine how to meet our own needs, be they spiritual, physical, or mental. Consider how you can engage in self-care on both the short-term and the long-term level. What does your mind, body and soul need in this moment? Are you feeling restless? overwhelmed? exhausted? depleted? lonely? anxious?

The key is to have a plan of action so we can address our self-care needs instead of powering through and becoming that grumpy mom who snaps at everyone! I find it helpful to keep a list on my phone of self-care activities that fill my soul. These are ideas that have helped me feel refreshed and renewed in the past: journaling, taking a walk, sipping hot tea, reading good fiction, deep breathing, gentle yoga, and coloring. The list will look different for everyone!

The biggest obstacle

I can hear you now. You don’t have enough time for self-care! This is a struggle for me too. It’s hard to balance meaningful self-care and the demands of being a full-time mom. I’ve spent a lot of time this year thinking about how to be wise with our time as busy Christian moms, and I’ve written a book to help us do just that!

Packed with practical wisdom and biblical inspiration, “Around the Clock Mom: Make the Most of Your God-Given Time” will help you live more intentionally and feel less distracted and overwhelmed.Around the Clock Mom: Make the Most of Your God-Given Time My hope and prayer for all of us walking into the new year is that we would treat our own self-care as an act of stewardship of the gifts God has given us!
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Published on January 11, 2021 08:08 Tags: i-b-time-management-b-i

Self-Care for Busy Moms When You Don’t Have Time

There’s a dangerous myth in Christian culture that can effect our health and well-being. Maybe you’ve seen it floating around in one of its many disguises, but it boils down to this:

Self-care is selfish.

Moms are especially prone to believing this lie. We are supposed to be masters at setting aside our own needs to care for the needs of our children. We give our time and energy to those we love, day in and day out. But the reality is that we can empty ourselves – no one is designed to be an endless wellspring of energy. And if we don’t take the care necessary to be refilled and refueled, we suffer and so do the people around us.

"Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch." - Parker Palmer "Let Your Life Speak"

As soon as we dispel this myth and as soon as we embrace our need for self-care as loving, necessary, and healthy, we are confronted with another lie:

Self-care is about pampering and luxury.

There is a multi-billion dollar industry ready to sell us all the night creams, facial masks, bath bombs, and home spa treatments we can (and can’t) afford. To rely solely on the feel-good products we can buy won’t get us far. I can use an eye-cooling mask to freshen up my tired eyes, but what I really need is to go to sleep earlier.

The truth about self-care is that it looks a lot like “adulting.” I think about it on two levels: the short-term level and the long-term level.

The long-term level of self-care
On the long-term level, you are thinking about self-care from a big picture perspective. You are in it for the long haul, willing to do what it takes to invest in yourself now to ensure a healthier future. This kind of self-care includes: making a budget and sticking to it, physical exercise, eating more vegetables and drinking more water, going to bed on time, scheduling that doctor’s appointment, finally seeing a therapist. These are unglamorous tasks and they’re definitely not as fun as getting a massage. The payoff for your overall mental and physical well-being, however, is huge!

The short-term level of self-care
On the short-term level, you are thinking about self-care from a “right now” perspective. It involves those little things you do for yourself that give you immediate gratification. Here’s where that new bottle of nail polish might make sense. Or that fancy chocolate you’ve been hiding from the kids. Or putting your feet up and getting cozy with a good book. It’s in these little moments where the lure of social media can be a trap. Scrolling on my phone is a way to zone out, but it never leaves me feeling rested or refreshed. Instead, it’s been helpful for me to take this perspective: “What soul-filling activity to do I have time for?”

Self-awareness is key
The first step of self-care is self-awareness. Naming your current emotions can steer you in the right direction. When we identify our feelings, we can better determine how to meet our own needs, be they spiritual, physical, or mental. Consider how you can engage in self-care on both the short-term and the long-term level. What does your mind, body and soul need in this moment? Are you feeling restless? overwhelmed? exhausted? depleted? lonely? anxious?

The key is to have a plan of action so we can address our self-care needs instead of powering through and becoming that grumpy mom who snaps at everyone! I find it helpful to keep a list on my phone of self-care activities that fill my soul. These are ideas that have helped me feel refreshed and renewed in the past: journaling, taking a walk, sipping hot tea, reading good fiction, deep breathing, gentle yoga, and coloring. The list will look different for everyone!

The biggest obstacle
I can hear you now. You don’t have enough time for self-care! This is a struggle for me too. It’s hard to balance meaningful self-care and the demands of being a full-time mom. I’ve spent a lot of time this year thinking about how to be wise with our time as busy Christian moms, and I’ve written a book to help us do just that!

Packed with practical wisdom and biblical inspiration, “Around the Clock Mom: Make the Most of Your God-Given Time” will help you live more intentionally and feel less distracted and overwhelmed.Around the Clock Mom: Make the Most of Your God-Given Time My hope and prayer for all of us walking into the new year is that we would treat our own self-care as an act of stewardship of the gifts God has given us!
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Published on January 11, 2021 08:04 Tags: i-b-time-management-b-i