MultiMind's Blog, page 6

Year of Submissions: Year ??? – I’ll just say 2023

Woo, year of submissions. I’ve done these posts in the past but since going more indie, I submitted to others way less and less. There’s almost no point in doing so when it feels like I have a better chance of getting hit by lightning than getting a story accepted because racism in spec fic is still extremely ever-present and well fought for by usually the same people who feign surprise that, oh hey, they really don’t like stories that does not center Whiteness and full commits to that sentiment with a bleeding, iron passion. This has been an issue that has been talked about since the 90s and well before so it’s pretty obvious this behavior is by design, not by mistake or there would have been some pretty big changes by now. So, overall, if your story doesn’t look like something that would have been read at a Klan rally in the ‘80s while passing the time, you might as well stand outside and wait for the lighting to hit.

This year (and a bit of last) was moreso being asked to submit stories. I was asked by Ekpeki to submit a story to an anthology he’s working on called Yemoja Tears: Water, Bodies & Bodies of Water, which is about the water crisis and all the writers are from the African diaspora. I crafted a brand new sci-fi short story for it called “Stalwart”. There is a ferret and the ferret is cute.

I also was asked by James Spooner, creator of AfroPunk, to submit a story for the anthology that’s now out called Black Punk Now. A lot of my punk works are in long form (Dreamer and The Glassman, in other words) but I had some smaller one-shots. The one I sent in didn’t get accepted (part of the issue was probably space since they were looking for short works to fill the gap and that’s a derpin’ weakness of mine and I was asked out of the blue) but the book does look interesting and I do hope for a Black Punk Now 2 so I can have something ready for that. But I do creys when I see all the publicity the book has gotten ;_; I crey muches.

It isn’t at all surprising at this point that the only times I’ve ever gotten publishing opportunities is mainly from other Black people. Nightlight is the first to buy my work, I was asked by Spooner and Ekpeki to submit works, all Black people from different parts of the globe and country. And it isn’t because I’m not submitting to White publications. I’ve been rejected by all of them. I’m not self-rejecting, they’re doing it for me – and to a big amount of others who look like me, judging by the 2022 Black in Spec Fic report (most current as of this writing). 6.8% Black writers accepted is better than the 1.9% in 2015 but 6.8% in 2022/2023? It’s f#cking abysmal. If it were 6.8% the 1960s and increased from there to something substantial and very double digit now, sure. 6.8% after the new millennium/century? Absolutely pathetic, how dedicated to lazy and prejudice do you have to be to keep things barely over 5% in almost a decade?

All in all, I usually don’t submit works because it’s pretty much a pointless endeavor, judging by the data. Instead, I just sit, put out my own works, and watch the magazines whine and cry that they don’t make enough money to stay open or see whinging on File 770 that the old sci-fi clubs of yore are dying because young people don’t want to join. (They were straight up surprised that young people in China actually showed up to a sci-fi convention – as if young people didn’t have or like sci-fi conventions, especially ones that weren’t White. Which means: Time to ruin all the young people’s fun with a bunch of dumb, pointless, hurtful rules and drive them all out until it’s full of a bunch of old fogeys again. Old White fogeys, preferably.)

I submitted The Glassman to the Stoker Awards but since there’s no White people in the book or White cultural aspects I’m trying to “ascend” my characters, who are Black, Chicano and Afro-Chicano, to, and it’s a story about Chicano and Black people that has zero mention of gangs, drugs, “illegal immigrants”, and crime – it’s just a guy in the punk music scene that’s trying to cope with the fact he now has odd abilities over glass and his family and bandmembers trying to help him cope – that means the book is going to go nowhere on the reading list. It wouldn’t fly at a GOP get-together so it’s certainly not going to leave the ground on that list. It’s basically a one-time thing for the most part. I did chat with L. Marie Wood, the vice president of HWA (Horror Writers Association) at Multiverse, and she definitely wanted me to submit my book because of the valid reason that the reading list won’t diversify if no one diverse submits to it. But, also HWA dug their own grave pretty darn deep about keeping horror writers of color out for an extremely long time. They only gave the award to their first Black writer in this millennium/century alone. That means just about no one at HWA thought Black people could write horror at all (they’re literally terrified to hear about our regular lived experiences, even if we’re just talking about mundane things, they seriously think we can’t write speculative horror?) until after the turn of the millennium. They sincerely can’t expect a great big water burst of diverse writers to flood their ranks and be eager to support – just so they can be shut out big time again. I get Wood’s perspective – and the fact she is a Black horror writer herself and one of the few in the upper ranks so she wants to do the work the rest of HWA zombie- level slow walked – buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, if they’re not awarding diverse works or diversifying their Stoker reading list more, it’s pointless to submit. Sisyphean even. That’s dumb if HWA thinks this is sustainable. Wood has the right idea but it’s the rest of HWA I’m moreso side-eyeing because, historically speaking, being very diversity-adverse is kinda their dedicated thing. They find the literal existence of BIPoC absolutely and rapturously horrifying and it shows. That’s an HWA problem that’s much bigger than Wood can tackle herself. And others in the higher ups of HWA and the mass membership need to also tackle.

I very honestly do not want to be treated like Octavia Butler. She was done super dirty by SWFA and the rest of the (extremely White) spec fic community. They’re only giving her flowers now because she’s dead. And they basically tokenized her big time when she was alive – and were proud of that. That’s alarming. And it seems they also do this so they kind of don’t have to recognize the Black and PoC writers, especially the darker skinned ones, of now. Just focus on the chick who’s work became poignant once she cracked her head on the pavement and keeled over. Because if she was alive, it would be very Business As Usual. Dead people don’t complain. Dead people don’t say, “Wait a minute, that’s not what happened, you weren’t the good guy in the situation at all.” Dead people don’t do anything. That’s what makes her perfect to the SFWA and everyone in between: she’s dead and thus can be propped up as “look! We found one! Aren’t we such a forward-thinking place?” It comes off as pretty obvious to me and as a Black queer writer, reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally freaking concerning. I don’t exactly like the idea of me falling out and passing away just so my works can be seen for what they are. It’s not like my wording or the writing magically improved itself the moment after I die. They can keep that bullsh#t. If Neil Gaiman or J. K. Rowlings doesn’t have to bust their heads on concrete and die to get their propers, it should be the exact same for writers who aren’t White. That’s hella morbid and beyond demented, speaking as a Black writer. I would rather have my works appreciated because of what I wrote, not because my life nosedived into the world of death.

These folks are weird – and not in a good way.

I don’t plan to do much submitting works in the future, as per usual. I certainly appreciate being asked and approached though. At least I’m not super wasting my time with near-promised rejections. I mean, I was rejected by Black Punk Now but at least it isn’t because of “Oh noes, Black people are in this story and not being brutally murdered for our enjoyment” but actual, bona fide regular reasons. I’m way more chill about that than “Ah, they say they want diversity but in reality, they want stuff Strom Thurmond would like.” A National Front guy got into Fantasy & Science Fiction this past year. Deselected afterwards and only after it took a twitter storm to point out why having Mr. 14 words wasn’t great and have the story rescinded. This guy also was a juror in HWA for the Stoker Awards in 2016 (the award I just submitted my Very-Not-Pro-National-Front novel to, that award). Deselected after a furor it caused to have a card-carrying racist but still, he keeps getting selected time and time again. And he’s the one they’re catching but he certainly isn’t the only one there. It pretty much says it all, as far as I’m concerned as a Black writer, why submitting to these presses is pretty much pointless. It doesn’t mean stories will stop existing, just the presses eventually. No point in having my story rejected so they can have room for David Duke’s British loquacious nephew. What a waste of time.

What I’m Reading

First and foremost, both The Glassman and Dreamer are available as free ebook giveaways for Prolific Works’ group giveaway “Hidden Magic”. Get them before they’re gone. Also, I am expecting a galley-in-proof of an upcoming anthology about the global water crisis penned by Black authors from around the world called Yemoja Tears: Water, Bodies & Bodies of Water. I was personally invited by Oghenechovwe Donald Ekpeki to submit a story so I penned a new sci-fi story called “Stalwart”. More updates to come soon. It would be the first fiction print anthology I would be part of.

What I’m reading/What I’ve Recently Read (I also track what I read (except webcomics) on The Storygraph, jus’ sayin’):

Vibe Check (Webcomic): Finished it. It was really good, I really liked it. I really loved the Vibe Fairy. Extremely creative and introspective. Definitely would recommend it to male readers because of how the story approaches dealing with life while Black and male but it’s great for everyone. Completely fantastic and great action bits.

The Uncommons (Webcomic): Finished it. I really liked this one for all the magic and imagination. Pretty dynamic storytelling.

Daybreak (Webcomic): I really freakin’ loved this one. It’s up there with Hover Girls (webcomic, now soon to be its own book) in terms of how good it is. I usually don’t like slice of life and slow moving stories but this one was obscenely cute and amazing. It is a gentle, sawft, Black Boy Joy story and I am 10000000% here for it

Tiger Tiger (Webcomic): White creator but Black characters, it’s actually really a good sea-faring webcomic that isn’t pathetically tropey and has an interesting, dynamic story. Their eye for era fashion (the story is based in 1800s-esque fantasy times: frocks, men wearing heels, and pantaloons) is impeccable, I love it. Story is still updating.

The Prince of Southland (Webcomic): Still reading. Isn’t bad so far. Pretty sci-fi and interesting.

Last Human, Doug Naylor (novel, Red Dwarf series): Still reading. I grew up watching Red Dwarf (super disliked Doctor Who, it didn’t have any Black people in it while Red Dwarf did and, as a result, Doctor Who bored me too much. Great they have a Black doctor now, should have done that back in the 1980s/1990s and I would have watched it alongside Red Dwarf and Homeboys From Outer Space, another cherished sci-fi classic for me.) I like how it’s an easy, quick paced read, with fun writing and how the show remained extremely faithful to the books. It’s an engaging book for me but I already was a fan of the show since I was a kid.

Dawn, Octavia Butler (novel, Lilith’s Brood series): Still reading. I’m slogging through this one because I want to read more of Adulthood Rites but it’s a bit slow in parts. I don’t think I have read a complete work of Butler because her works never really caught me very well. When I was in middle school, we read Kindred but I did not like that one, especially since it was presented as “Black Sci-Fi”. I was expecting, well, not slavery tales. Black woman goes back in time to defend White slave owner and experience slavery herself, I can see exactly why it was popular with White people – I simply hated it. And we had to watch the movie as well. I barely remembered that because ugh. It basically seemed as if all Black sci-fi was filled with was with racial pain stories – while White people Get To Write Whatever They Want, Including Fun Stories. That’s a problem. Even Red Dwarf, though it has two Black main characters (Lister, who the story is about, and the Cat), was penned by two White guys (and trust, it shows in the writing sometimes. Especially when Lister’s hair, a curly mullet with dreads in the back, get mentioned. Their description is … not great. Korean level bad, actually) and it just all seemed like Black Sci-Fi writers only wrote oppression stories and White writers wrote everything else. Because that’s literally what gets shoved down everyone’s throats, hand picked by White folks. Black Sci-Fi writers write more than that (I sure do) but you let White folks do the picking, you’d never know it and sure as hell would never see it. Too world/reality breaking for them, I guess. This is also why I look at sites like Melanin Library and Black Comic Creators, because I want to read anything besides oppression tales and still be penned by someone who is Black. I’ve found a big bounty as a result. Dawn is a bit of a slow read that is really classic of an 80s book so it’s a bit of a chore to read but I’m working through it. At least I get a Black Woman/Asian Man pairing, if it were another White/Other type story, I would have just dropped the book immediately and found something else to read. Isn’t too heavy on romance (great for me, I’m demi/ace), but even the action scenes, such as fights, in the book are fairly muted. I prefer more whizzbang in my action but it’s also a book from the ’80s and not now so there’s that. But Red Dwarf is also from the ’80s and is more dynamic so I guess Butler just writes her action scenes as more muted.

That’s the list! As for what I’m reading. I don’t read as much as I would like, having a disorder can be a difficult thing to contend with. I also am immensely picky with what I read because I bore easily with books that are too stereotypical. If it’s White, male and straight (and isn’t from the Victorian/dark romanticist era) of a story, I’m probably not bending over backwards to read it. I already have my English degree (this also includes works from the Victorian dark romanticist era, lol. They still have to tell a good story because I will always find someone more diverse otherwise). Remember, this is the 21st century and I literally have access to the internet, a gaming laptop with a full and bustling Steam account, and a VR headset. If the story isn’t interesting me, I will waste no time to spend it elsewhere. No time whatsoever. No point in thinking “I’m bored, this book is boring” when I could just start up a video game or watch a show (I’m currently watching Found (huzzah, positive Black mental health representation, especially with agoraphobia and trauma, without drugs and racial trauma porn) and Song of the Bandits, a Korean Western that is action packed and really good. I tried Loki but I got bored).

I’m not interested in seeing stories that are insufferably straight, hold Whiteness as the baseline of existence (as in, they always have to shove in a White character in there somewhere and that White character is somehow always important, even if they are a side character, or- just as bad – the book has a “I’m sorry I’m not White” moment or theme throughout the book. And there’s usually a White/Other relationship because Modern White Man’s Burden, I guess), and very steeped in toxic masculinity that is thoroughly unexamined. And if there is queerness, it better not be White and better not be stereotypical, I’m beyond tired of those stories as well. White feminism doesn’t appeal to me and isn’t real feminism (White feminism has a goal to still oppress women, as long as those women are of color, which is the majority of the world’s female population (women are also the majority of the world population at 51%)), and White queerness is just as self-deluding and White feminism. Just like I’m not interested in reading a story that’s basically the written version of a Klan robe with a pink flower on its hood lapel, I’m doubly not interested in a story that is basically the written version of a Klan robe fitted with a little rainbow hem at the bottom of the hood. Trash and boring for me. You’re forced to sit through it when getting an English degree, no point in sitting through it for no good reason whatsoever. It’s not like the work is that jaw-droppingly brilliant. It isn’t.

I don’t really read fan-fics because I’m not a teenager anymore but I don’t mind seeing fan-derived works if they’re really good. But if it isn’t crossing me on my Tumblr (my tumblr is for my other blog, Black Witch), I’m probably not looking at it.

It’s a small list (probably big for some but it’s mostly webcomics, which are pretty fast reads) but that’s what I currently prefer. I don’t really like reading massive tomes, especially if the story isn’t worth it. 1000 pages of snore? No thank you. I like thrilling tales and no romance (if there is going to be romance, it better be queer and of color or I will be gone – and none of that “Mixed signals, will they ever know they love each other” or “I’m ashamed of being queer/what will the world think of me or us?” bullsh#t. Full commit or gtfo). I want dynamic tales, not snooze fests. I prefer to read on an e-reader because I can use it in a hospital setting (I occasionally get hospitalized because of my disorders) and it holds a lot of books, way more than a bag can. I read webcomics either on the computer or on my phone but I dislike using apps for it because the apps like to shove in ads and I have several ad-blockers on my computer and phone web browsers.

It’s Thanksgiving in the US so obligatory Thanksgiving thing:

How I Pick Conventions

Multiverse is over and I am considering conventions as a way to branch out and get new readers outside of the internet. (Safely, Covid is still real and I still have disorders. I’ve never caught Covid and have no desire to jacking up my disorders further than they already are, plain and simple.) When it comes to picking conventions, I’m pretty simple in how I pick them:

Is there diversity?: If it is just a bunch of White people, I’m not going. If it is a bunch of old White people, I’m super not going. There’s a reason why their con looks like a Sci-Fi January 6 Get-Together and it’s in the DNA of the convention, from the makers to the con-goers. Old people in and of itself isn’t a problem but old White people being a lion share of the pictures, speakers and/or planners? There’s a reason for it and I’m not interested in finding out because I can already take a wild guess to what it is. Pictures are mainly what I go by, I do look at convention pictures, the images of the ppl invited and the images of the con-runners. It’s how the convention choses to depict itself so it’s a good place to start. If there is diversity there but the pictures look like an informal Klan meeting for the most part? There’s a reason for that and it boils down to the DNA of the convention itself. If there is no diversity to be seen, that’s telling in and of itself as well. The internet exist, cons are more popular and mainstream now than they were a decade ago, and you still can’t draw in people darker than bleached dry wall? There’s a reason for that. Double if they are old and White, because it means the place is full of their outdated opinions and they most likely plan to be very caustic to anyone who disagrees or looks different (or just bring up that the person of color is different at every. Given. Opportunity. Even when they think they’re complimenting the person of color for simply existing in their space. It’s not a compliment.) That con is for them, not for me. Not interested in hanging around in the 3D space of a File 770 comment section (they’re relatively nice people – but it’s still hella White and that Whiteness shows in more ways than one when diversity discussions happen). The con has to do more if they want more diversity – actual diversity, not tokenism, not fake diversity where a person of color is invited and either that PoC is from the Sunken Place and/or just treated like crap and used as a emotion human shield for any accusations of racism – There needs to be diversity in the top tier/directors of the convention, diversity in the con-goers, and diversity in the guests. Otherwise, no dice.

Is there a DEI of some sort?: DEI stands for “Diversity, Equity & Inclusion”. Now, mind you, I assume any White-ran space/company/organization/etc with a DEI is lying their derriere’s off and the DEI they wrote is worth less than the paper it would be printed on and ignored more than anything. In other words, I assume their DEI is 100000% phony up until I’m proven thoroughly otherwise. (I get disappointed less this way.) But at least it’s there so I and others can basically super nail them to the wall when they break them. I expect they ignore their DEI except to use as a cover to keep engaging in messed up behavior (“of course we wouldn’t do the very thing you’re accusing us of (and may even have proof). We have a DEI! It’s our alibi – we mean, our promise to the world.”) so when I am looking at any con, I look for it. In the code of conduct or wherever the “Con Rulebook” is. And it has to be something better than “don’t be mean to each other about race, gender, [etc, etc]” because that easily can translate into “if you accuse someone White of racism or someone male of sexism, we can punish you just as harshly (if not more) as if they said it.” Unless they’ve done some serious self work and learned about how structural prejudice works (that I’ll doubt until I see it to a believable degree), I assume they’re going to be stereotypical level “bringing up any prejudice is bad and we should all ignore it – and I will punish wantonly until we do. This is my space and I still own you all can run it in my vision of how I want.” I’m not going to a con that has no actual safety parameters. They could get away with it in 2007 (and is currently biting them now), but all that is not the same today. Be better or be gone.

Are the past/current guests diverse?: Part of what makes a convention is who you invite. If your list of guests could pass muster at a Trump rally, that’s a problem for me. There’s no point in applying to be guest, there’s even less point in going. Especially in your guest of honor picks. It shows in how you want your con to run, plain and simple. It isn’t that you can’t find authors and creators of color, we’re literally everywhere. You sincerely could just spend time on Melanin Library with a pen and paper in the sci-fi section and easily come away with an invite list of over twenty in less than 10 minutes. And that’s just Black authors, we haven’t even touched Latin, Asian or Indigenous authors. In other words, any absence of diversity I see in the guest list I assume is wholly on purpose. And, on top of that, I look at the darkness of the invited guests. If there’s colorism afoot (I see mostly or only light-skinned people of color), that means there’s built-in racism occuring because the likelihood of this being completely accidental is extremely slim. Especially if the con was basically White Only prior. It isn’t movement in the right direction, it’s laziness and prejudice just trying to hide in plain sight. The time to pull that trick was back in the 1950s and perhaps the 1960s. Any era after that? Zero excuse.

Is the space welcoming for Black people, period?: We’re not interested in being used as pawns and such for some White person’s culture war, either to prove how liberal they are or how conservative they are. It seriously does not matter to us. We just want to cosplay, attend panels and have a general good time – y’know, like everyone else? We do indeed have lives outside of dealing with racism itself. Reminding us that prejudice exists is not going to make our experiences better. Try “worse” and “never want to come back” and “write scathing posts about the experience until the con shuts its doors”. If the space looks like it’s really for White con-goers, there’s only some diversity as window dressing, it shows itself very fast. And when it dawns on you that attending cons isn’t cheap, it’s beyond a disgrace. It’s a travesty. If there’s only White and light-skinned guests, the panels are mainly for White con-goers, there’s micro-aggressions abound and no one to direct it to (or all (if not most) reported incidents are basically ignored and/or buried because “it wasn’t that bad was it?” or “it would make this con look bad”), it’s an easy way to make me not want to go. Black people have their own spaces and do talk about conventions. That’s how Dream Con exploded in population attendees in three short years. It’s a Black-ran, nerd-focused convention. It’s well done, ran well enough, the guests are usually Black and darker skinned instead of the other way around, the panels are inclusive for everyone (it was actually pretty stupid to see White people who attended were surprised they didn’t get treated like how their spaces treat others. Not everyone is like them nor wants to be. Some people actually do just want to have fun and its wholly possible to do that without being a dick to others.) and anti-Blackness is a quick trip to get kicked out the convention, period. It’s not created by people who approach diversity as if paranoid White liberals who are trying to say/do all the right things but have zero desire to actually be welcoming in earnest, as if they think Black people come from Angrylandia via a vortex or something. To be frank, no one is interested in being some bigoted jerk-off’s unwitting guinea pig in their learning How Not To Be Awful. The guys of RDC World (the troupe that runs Dream Con) are younger than the average convention creator so if they can do it, there’s zero excuse for anyone older. Either figure it out or hang it up.

Are the past guests not rife with problems?: I do check guests of the past. If any of them have accusations of sexual assault or worse, or prejudice (racism, queerphobia, etc, etc) and the con is: 1 ) Quiet about it, 2) Minimize it (“we got reports buuuuuuuuut you know ppl lie. This isn’t court. Focus on having fun!”) 3) Doesn’t disinvite, then I’m not going. Safety is an issue here. Plain and simple. If the con can’t handle historical reports of wrongdoing, they’re not going to listen to an act of wrongdoing that occurred a minute ago and right under their noses.

Are the panels inclusive?: Panels have to be diverse in who they pick and in the topics. Laud Tolkien and Lovecraft but won’t pick the messed up issues of their books apart? That’s a problem. No panels for con goers of color about being a creator or how to navigate their experiences in nerd spaces or creative industries? That’s not great. Panel’s White and so is the subject? It is going to suck. If there are no panels that basically acknowledge the existence of a world after the Emancipation Proclamation, that’s a big problem. What’s the point of wasting money for the same experience public school can give you for free (especially in Florida and Texas)? The vast majority of the panels have to show blatant, genuine signs of inclusion for me to think the con is worth the trip.

Conventions should be fun, and I want to not have a miserable time as guest (or con goer). I had a pretty decent time at Multiverse, I also want to have a decent time at other conventions.

*Am Cries* ;_; (Or: “Pre-Game Work & Soaring”)

2025 will soon be near and that means for me a three month trip to South Korea to hole myself away and work on my book “Soaring”, which will be multiple books (and long af). This has been planned for a very, very long while, almost ten years. I was supposed to go this year or 2022 but the pandemic scrapped everything and the world basically stopped. I wanted to pick a year far enough in the future for sufficient planning and would be “safe” enough, mask/covid-wise. I still plan to bring a crap-load of masks, they have a mask culture there and I plan on reveling in it as much as a chinchilla revels in dust. As well as buy masks there because why not?

But in my apt when I am writing? I’m holing myself away, no mask on (unless I feel like it) and just working, working, working on my work. Diligently. Expeditiously. With remarkable haste.

I got the ink (Kaweco’s Midnight Blue, a nice blue-black shader that’s not hard on the eyes and (hopefully) pleasant to look at for hundreds of pages), I haz the pen (TWSBI Vac700R, extra fine nib), I’m accruing the journals (which means, “I’m in the process of making over a thousand pages worth of journals. My poor hands.”). I just need to, basically, secure the apartment (I’m using AirB&B because if things go wrong, I want to spill my spleen to an English speaker and get things solved fast), and buy the airplane tickets (still too early to look at flights for my dates but I’m watchin’). I can already speak and understand Korean well enough to do the basics:

Read signsNavigate public transportGo to the market and not dieAvoid tourist trapsSwear at people who agitate me for whatever reason (I am not a people person and I’m aware prejudice is very alive and well in S. Korea. P-P-A-P that together and I say things that can shock a right-wing, war-hardened sailor (I know this because I’ve done it and that sailor was floored and aghast. Can’t repeat it to my parents (or Human Rights Watch) but I got my point across succinctly and quickly – and that was with no swear words))

‘Das about all I need. I don’t really plan on having a “Super Happy K-Pop!” trip to Korea, I just don’t wanna write my book in America for a litany of reasons and would like to go outside the country – especially since I literally can speak & understand 5+ languages and I’m pretty knowledgeable about different world cultures so I might as well. I’m the only person in my immediate (and probably extended) family who has not been to another country (or from another country, my dad and his side of the family is from Jamaica). S. Korea is quiet and calm enough a choice. And the language is easiest for my brain to lazy read because of their alphabet and how legible it is.

This means I just need a comfy apartment that I will be in roughly 24/7 that is quiet, not rifled with problems, has a window so I can see the sky/natural light, doesn’t have to be gargantuan but it can’t be Prison Pint Sized, and I’m not bothered. At all. (Unless emergency. Asking me why I exist in their building – or why I exist at all – is not an emergency.) I have two friends in S. Korea who are natives and they’re free to bother me whenever, I told them so, but that’s all. When I’m writing, I’m basically a cold-shouldered dick to anything that is not about health, death or food interrupting it. I don’t kid around about being distraction free, I’m literally going on the other side of the freaking planet for it. The only reason why I’m not shoving myself out into the countryside of S. Korea is because I still want some American-esque bathroom amenities, which is more in the city, and I’m living between the houses of my two friends so I know exactly whose door to bang on if things go left and remarkably stupid in Korea. I’m going in the summer (June to August) so I also don’t have to worry about freezing – I just have to worry about melting. I already plan to bring a dehumidifier or buy one when I am there. The kind that can quietly suck the ocean out of the air and just give it to my friends when I leave the country.

I have amassed a litany of info and research for my book Soaring, which is slated to be an Alternative History Fantasy Sci-Fi work of potentially several books. For the work – which I got the idea of when I was working in the Library of Congress and a little before it, so about 2013/2014 – I had to bone up on a lot of world history circa 2008/2009-2015 … and the historical events that led up to those events. From books to articles to documentaries to films to comics to graphic novels to personal accounts to video games, I had to learn a lot about a lot. Many historical pains, long-standing beefs and squabbles of time – of multiple countries, massacres, cover-ups, movements and more. Holy cannoli, bro.

Obviously working at the biggest library in the world in their stacks and acquisition departments gave me a massive head start and a gigantic pile of rare books and materials to work with and build a foundation. (Because I was working on them. I literally was snapshotting books left and right as my “To Read Later” pile or whole passages because I knew LoC was probably the only place that had said book in any grade of availability. Or I read some on my breaks and lunch.) I processed books, such as the UN Testimonials about North Korea, complete with hand drawn pictures from those actually detained, a book I would have not known existed unless it literally crossed my processing desk. I looked at wide swaths of stacks, such as the “Israeli section” (my name for the books in D to DD class, which covers everything Israel, Holocaust and a massive bit of the Jewish identity, I had to do shelf-reading/de-acidification verification there). I’ve had to process books I didn’t know existed, like the big ol’ Palestine Pile, the bundle of books that got lumped onto me because “You speak a lot of languages” and no one felt like hearing the whinging of the Israeli Division librarians (there’s an entire story behind all of this that is part comedic and part maddening) so may as well lump it onto me, the grunt that can “speak a lot of languages” and “good with different people”. There’s a lot I saw, basically.

I strive to make characters that seem real and their authentic selves so that means a lot of reading/watching of Holy Sh#t, What The F#ck: The Academic Edition – and then weaving in humanness in all of that to make a person. We’re all a sum of our experiences, I believe, so it’s all important. Problem for me is a lot of people had a lot of experiences and those many experiences can drop a jaw quick. And they come in different languages. And there are a lot of different countries. And governments. And politics. And movements. And holy crap can ppl just get along?

In research, I learned there’s a lot of slight of hand when it comes to data. For example, there’s technically over 200 countries – but some sources will just say 193 because they don’t include nations like Taiwan or Palestine, which then I discover, get agitated and then have to find a different source that does the full 200+, while also looking at the data of the source I am staring at to see what other bs they did and why. It’s like I follow one string and it splits up into a whole spider web of lines that just adds stacks to my research pile. And when current events occur (for example, Ukraine/Russia and Palestine/Israel), that means more info tumbles out for me to look at, cry at the amount of it, and collect.

It’s a lot.

I even have, for example, a VR experience of the Aleppo bombing, which puts you in the center of the event, so you can get the idea of what it’s like to encounter a bombing like that – something that I, as an American, am not super likely to experience (I am a Black American tho, so bombings in my community do happen. Ask White people, they’re the ones planting them. Such as MOVE in Philly, and the countless Black church bombings that spans literal decades. They’re not the same as a carpet bombing in the Middle East but there are some serious similarities, especially on a psychological and political level.) There’s another VR experience that is of the British blitz over Germany, something that my grandfather is more likely to have experience since he fought in WWII but not me because WWII happened about 40 years before I was born. Then there’s the test nuking of the Marshall Islands, as well as noting the fact people lived on those islands and did not consent to being a test nuke place (seriously, who would?), another VR experience. Oh, and the inside of Anne Frank’s house. She’s not a character in my book (other ppl existed during that time, hello), but the layout of the house is a snapshot of that time. There’s also a VR example of Swedish Parliament I’m yet to look at – because I need to familiarize myself with what the inside of other governments look like since this is a book that involves the world. And space, because of course space is involved.

And that’s just what I’ve found in just VR alone. A relatively new technology.

Then there is collecting and reviewing source material in their home languages. I know several languages but I don’t know them all. There are a lot of things in English but some things simply doesn’t make it over the language barrier – either on accident, or on propagandic purpose. (Thanks, China. Because I apparently need a headache from the linguistic version of Catch Me If You Can. And where the heck is Naomi Wu & her gf?). This means I have to use my multi-lingual skills to read transcripts, personal accounts and hear what was actually said (while the translator gets extremely “creative” with interpretation and I compare/contrast) so I have as thorough an understanding of the situation as possible. And get more sources and research that adds to my pile, thus I crey, I crey muches. I had to do this in Korean with the Sewol and Gwangju Massacre (they have a virtual museum for Gwangju history. Some parts are in English, others are not, I read it all). I had to do this in Chinese with damn near everything. I had to do this with so many of the languages I knew. And I grew up around a lot of languages because I grew up in the inner city and not the middle class or above so that helped a lot. I don’t stare at Spanish or Yiddish lopsided because I already heard these languages (and been around the people) growing up. Heck, my mom speaks German because she spent the first 5 years of her life in Germany (remember, my granddad was in WWII punching Nazis (while dealing with the segregation due to the American counterparts of the Nazis, the general White American population, because racism)). This means I have methods and workarounds for languages I am not so good at.

I have been doing it fairly single handedly because I’m usually very secretive about my books for artsy-fartsy reasons. It isn’t that I think anyone would steal the story (I’d actually like to see them try, most people give up just writing a plain novel. This one has historical components and over 200+ characters and innumerable moving parts in terms of character & plot dynamics), it’s because I have Artist Feelingz. Most probably wouldn’t understand if I explained it anyway because I would most likely start speaking at the speed of light, probably do interpretive liturgical-style dance throughout parts of it, show a confusing jumble of memes from gods know where on the planet, crack quick jokes in a mash of random languages and act out scenes in random spurts all around the person in complete 360 mode (complete with nearby things grabbed as props and/or hyper dramatic arm flails), and have them all wondering if I’m doing okay.

That’s how my cat would look at me when I explained the stories to her. And she’s used to my ramblings.

I also don’t want to make any international friends I have feel like I’m using them purely as research hulls. That’s not good friendship, that’s being a horrible person. Plus, they’re just one person, thus one perspective. Most people don’t have a hyper academic, metacognitive perspective about their lives, nation and history. That’s why museums and books and such exist. Plus, some of these friends have lived through some of this so it would be extra messed up to ask. Thus I don’t. I don’t need to ask my Korean friends about the Gwangju massacre, I don’t want to ask my Palestinian buddy who likes candles and bubble baths about how living through bombardment would make him feel (because no one should have to ask that, take a wild guess how being randomly bombed would make you feel and apply it). I sincerely despise when people ask me historically prickly questions like that out of the clear blue sky about my existence as a Black person, why would I throw that onto someone else and then say we’re friends? That’s not how a friend acts, that’s how a narcissistic, myopic, selfish, self-centered and heartless piece of sh#t acts. I have research, diverse academics and countless accounts of people who already openly talked about their experiences ad nauseam that I can look at, no need to fry people I actually want to keep. I do bear them in mind at least briefly when I make the characters I do but in the end, it is still my work and my characters are indeed built to be complex. I do not need backseat driving for any of my stories, just data.

The hardest info for me to look at and research, obviously for me, is Black history. Because whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Part of why I don’t want to be around people is I don’t want to be Angry AF because of a passage/scene and now someone unfortunate in Korea gets their day turned upside down because Today Was Not The Day. I know my Black history well (far better than Black folks who tell me I’m not Black for liking Black created things like Rock music and video game consoles (look it up, we invented both)) but I’m also a Black American, my experiences are not the entirety of the pan-African global experience. I’m just one person in the diaspora. And even my experiences aren’t exactly Standard Black American (one side of my family is from another country, for example). All the same, still hurts an awful lot because Black history is indeed my history and it’s more than just numbers or personal accounts of people I’ve Never Met, it’s people who look like me and have stories like mine. Then there’s the ever over-arching wound that is anti-Blackness that I’m basically going to be deep-sea diving in. Yeaaaaaah, I rather stay in and stay away from ppl. It’s for the best. For society. Even in the market, I plan to go deep at night and be a ghost through the aisles as I refresh my fridge and pantry.

I even have music and stuff accrued for writing Soaring. It’s basically Linkin Park, which provided a lot of the musical backdrop of the plot, Serj Tankian, Fall Out Boy, Muse, Lupe Fiasco (“All Black Everything” and “Words I’ve Never Said” also helped with the musical backdrop of the plot. As did Friend of the People EP) as well as a litany of music from around the world and random songs that I would like to listen to on repeat for 3 months straight, from popular songs (or popular in their own nations) to little ditties I came across in my research that I went “Wow, I really like this.” I need to compile them into the Soaring Playlist (which already is looking to be at least a hundred hours deep), but it’s there.

Soaring already has its own Masterbook, and I have to compile my character sheets together (and perhaps digitize them for easy searching because some characters got two separate entries for them when it should be one entry per character). In 2024, I’m really going to have to super kick that into gear so when I go to S. Korea, all I have to do is write.

Which I do look forward to.

Updates, Book Club Interview and More!

Did Multiverse, and did an FB Live book discussion about my new book, The Glassman, on a digital book club (I think it’s on “Public”, I get a phone call at the end that made me stare at the camera a little wacky because I didn’t know if my video & audio will derp – it didn’t, thankfully). Both The Glassman and Dreamer will soon be available for free in a Prolific Works giveaway called “Hidden Magic” that will run from Nov 15 to Dec 15. This is the giveaway link. Prolific Works wipes the fancy font work I’ve done so caveat emptor, but the books are free.

Next is doing the audiobook for The Glassman, which will start in January. The next book will be the horror, dark fantasy novel, The Harlequin, which comes out 2024. What is The Harlequin about? Here’s a short blurb:

Rosalyn loves books as much as she loves living in her own head. All she wants is to be surrounded by the world of fantasy. When she meets the fanciful and majestic Harlequin, Rosalyn is given a fantasy she will never forget.

Expect The Harlequin to be out late 2024.

As for The Glassman, I look forward to the audiobook, it should be out early Spring everywhere audiobook are sold.

Stuff and things

Did Multiverse, and did an FB Live book discussion about my new book, The Glassman, on a digital book club (I think it’s on “Public”, I get a phone call at the end that made me stare at the camera a little wacky because I didn’t know if my video & audio will derp – it didn’t, thankfully). Both The Glassman and Dreamer will soon be available for free in a Prolific Works giveaway called “Hidden Magic” that will run from Nov 15 to Dec 15. This is the giveaway link. Prolific Works wipes the fancy font work I’ve done so caveat emptor, but the books are free.

Next is doing the audiobook for The Glassman, which will start in January. The next book will be the horror, dark fantasy novel, The Harlequin, which comes out 2024. What is The Harlequin about? Here’s a short blurb:

Rosalyn loves books as much as she loves living in her own head. All she wants is to be surrounded by the world of fantasy. When she meets the fanciful and majestic Harlequin, Rosalyn is given a fantasy she will never forget.

Expect The Harlequin to be out late 2024.

As for The Glassman, I look forward to the audiobook, it should be out early Spring everywhere audiobook are sold.

Multiverse is Soon Upon Us!

Woo, next week is Multiverse! Tickets are still available!

I will be there all 3 days. Here is my panel schedule. Below is a very brief revisit of my schedule, but the full deets are in the original linked post:

Friday: First Fantasy (2:30-3:30 PM), Charity Art Jam (4:30 – 6:30 PM)

Saturday: All-Ages Storytime Reading (1:00 – 2:00 PM), From Page to Screen to Screen (4:00 – 5:00 PM)

Sunday: MCs That Look Like Me: Disabled & Divergent Heroes (11:30 AM – 12:30 PM), Art: Appropriation vs. Appreciation (1:00 – 2:00 PM)

It’s my first invited convention and, yes, I will be tabling so you are very free to buy all my books! For every single day of Multiverse, the first purchased copy of The Glassman will also come with a guitar pick, sticker, and a glass-like page holder.

All this can be yours if you’re the first person each day to buy a copy of The Glassman

All copies of my works are pre-signed so any work purchased from my table is signed with fountain pen ink and glass pen, especially The Glassman. However! I am willing to add other scribbles in-person (wear a mask if so!) but it will be black ink. I’m bringing my Herbin ballpoint fountain pen and the ink in it is Waterman’s Intense Black so expect black ink.

Books signed in what ink:

The Glassman – Diamine’s Writer’s Blood

Kinetics – Diamine’s Writer’s Blood

Dreamer – Ferris Wheel Press’ Glistening Glass (There’s a reason for this choice, nyuk nyuk)

In Search of Amika – Ferris Wheel Press’ Glistening Glass/ Ferris Wheel Press’ Stroke of Midnight

I will also be donating handbound journals of mine and a custom page holder I made for the donations and art jams that will be taking place at Multiverse.

The custom page holder, to be donated

Woo. Stuff and things! Buy my wares, I will be tabling.

Also, my selfie drone will be with me, Mixy the Pixy. That means if you see a yellow, buzzing disc floating around me, that’s Mixy. Respect Mixy. I will do all my due diligence to make sure Mixy doesn’t bink anyone in the head or take anything/anyone out and I mainly plan to have Mixy out when there is few to no one around (I’m a writer, not an empty headed, attention-whore type influencer). In other words, treat Mixy as my personal photographer – because that’s Mixy’s job. Some of the pictures will pop up on my Instagram (@MultiMindPublishing).

I will be staying at the hotel of Multiverse so I will be around literally 24/7. But! If you want to chat with me, interact with me, etc., the best spots to spot me will be at my table, at karaoke, at a food spot at the con, or at a panel. I don’t drink or anything (woo, straight edge/tee-totaler type) so that means I don’t do bar visits and I especially don’t do inebriated anything. My hair is most likely going to stand out (bright blue cyberlox) but definitely give me my space whenever I request it and, as always, wear a mask whenever you interact with me. Your excitement of being at Multiverse is real but so is Covid. And flu. And Con Crud. And – you get the point.

I’m demi-gender (basically: non-binary woman) so my pronouns are she/xe. I’m a chatterbox, beware. I am probably (read: most likely) bringing my 3DS because I still am a sucker for it and suches.

Because I won’t be fastened to my table the entire con, keep an eye on my Spoutible and BlueSky to learn when I will be there and when I will be back.

W00t.

“The Glassman” is out! Get a Copy!

My psychological dark fantasy novel, The Glassman, came out Sept 23rd!

Cop a copy!

Available everywhere books and ebooks are sold! The audiobook, narrated by Alejandro Antonio Ruiz, will be worked on in January and possibly will be out in early Spring.

I’ve been doing a lot to prep for Multiverse but I wanted to stop by and note that the book is out everywhere worldwide.

Also, I have notice people really seem to have an interest in Dao’s story and want to see more of Lumination. I’m glad, especially since there is the follow up books, called Glass & Dreams. Expect that in 2026 (2027 at the worst), as established by the MMP Release Schedule.

It took a lot for me to get The Glassman out, which I detailed at length in the past.

By the way, there’s a part in the details I never detailed at length: Stacker St.

Whereas P.O.D. inspired the creation of Lumination Rising, Linkin Park inspired the creation of Stacker St. (they’re not the only characters inspired by LP but I’ll talk more about that later, probably after Soaring is written). The character B should be a bit obvious if you know your LP Trivia. Ditto with Yamato, he should be stunningly obvious. And Mt. Seung.

B is Chester (I named him “B” because Chester’s known for his last name: Bennington, so “B” it is). The hint it was Chester: Bali. Chester always considered it heaven on earth and roughly around when I wrote this rendition of The Glassman, Chester unfortunately died. I never got to meet him (the only member of LP I’ve ever met was Mike Shinoda) but I have many friends who Chester was a friend of so he was basically a mutual friend I always heard so much about, especially entertaining stories told backstage. A lot of people were really wounded by Chaz’s passing and if you know your P.O.D./LP history, they spent a lot of time around each other to the point that at one stroke in time, you couldn’t mention one without the other.

Pictured, Left to Right: Sonny (P.O.D.), Chester (Linkin Park), Mike (Linkin Park), Wuv (P.O.D.)
Or, in The Glassman terms: Mars, B, Yamato, Amos. Lol
(I am probably so dead should they read this, ha)

There are a lot of pictures like those. In The Glassman, B is alive and well, just in Bali where he’s happy. This is also part of the reason why the ending of the book looks the way it does and finishes at the tour stop it did.

It’s also part of why The Glassman playlist sounds the way it does. Yes, I made a playlist, just like I did with Dreamer (you should also listen to that playlist, it is awesome).

What’s on the playlist, all done with glass pen and blood ink

Listen, read, and be merry! Next book is The Harlequin but definitely keep your ears perked for Glass & Dreams.

Black Ink, Trials & Tribulations (Or: It’s Hard to Find Decent Black Ink)

I wanted to use the title “Black Ink, White Paper” but it sounds like I’m discussing race – Not this time, lol!

It’s about ink.

I use a cavalcade of colors when I write my creative works, simply because I can. But! In the pen that I use for when I’m out and about and in need of a pen to jot something or fill out a form, I use an Herbin fountain pen ballpoint and the ink I use is always black ink. Because I’m not writing creatively, I’m filling out a form. Black ink only for me.

In fountain pen inks, not all inks are alike, including black ink. Turns out, there’s a lot of variety in the one color that consumes all color. One thing I do, certainly, is also not really get a black ink from a brand that I use for creative works. Thus, I have no Diamine black inks, Colorverse black ink, Ferris Wheel Press black inks, nada. It’s to keep things distinct and separate in my head. Also, my Herbin pen uses a Monteverde charger, so it doesn’t hold a bunch of ink, perhaps 1.25 ml at best (my TWSBI Vac700R, what I use for my creative works, holds up to roughly 3ml ink. A lot, in other words), therefore I have been buying samples and not bottles of black ink.

I had Edelstein’s Onyx in there but finally ran out (it was ok/meh (great on cardboard and nice paper tho) but I’ll eventually get another sample to swatch) and now I’m trying out Waterman’s Intense Black.

It’s … not that intense.

It’s … a’ight. It’s a black ink, alright, but not “Pits of My Weary, Deathly Soul; Only Defeated Sorrow & Grievous Pain Live Here” black. I was promised “intense” and all I got was “moody at best”. It’s close to the first black ink I got, Higgins black fountain pen ink – which I hated because it was basically smeared dark grey charcoal on paper. And only played nice on good paper but sucked on plain office paper.

I want “lost in the depths of suicide black” level of intense, not “my favorite team didn’t win and now I’m bummed black” level of intense. It’s giving “serene Japanese calligraphy writing”, I want “disgraced seppuku”. The color of despair, not the color of “It’s rough but I’m finally getting a little bit of help, tryna hang in there”.

Yes, I want 10/10 drama, even with filling out a form. Because forms are despairing in their own right, it’s only fair. Fight me but you know I’m right.

It’s a Waterman also. French ink and pen maker, Stephen King writes with their pens. I do not like the idea of overlapping with him because I just want to do my own thing simply so I’m also planning to sample Caran d’Ache cosmic black and maybe Herbin’s Noir Inspiration (because it is scented and I really, really wanted a scented ink but there are super limited choices. The nanosecond a non-White ink brand makes a broadly available scented ink in a good color, I’m nabbin’ it. Or Ferris Wheel Press, my exception). Yes, that is a lot of French inks. And pen. And ink charger. We are officially in France now. Bienvenue.

Waterman’s Intense Black performs better on cheap copy paper than Edelstein’s Onyx, that’s certain, but Onyx puts down a much darker line. No sheen in either (that I spotted), and Intense Black will shade but doesn’t show in Eastern extra fine points (Supa! thin lines, in other words. You could draw blood with those nibs), just anything thicker than that that, like a Western Fine point (which is like a medium, .07mm line) will show some shade, especially if you don’t write in cursive. If you write in cursive, like I do, you’ll still see some shading but not as much as print hand.

I think once I find a good black ink (that has a pretty, nice-looking bottle), I’ll get a bottle of that ink and have it just be my mainstay ink for my ballpoint pen.

The MultiMind Multiverse Schedule!

Yay, panels! Come see me yammer about at Multiverse (where you can still get your tickets). Across the three packed days of events, here are the panels I will be on and what they are about:

Friday

First Fantasy (2:30-3:30 PM)

Everyone has to start somewhere, so why not start…right here! In this panel we will discuss great starting points for new fans of the genre, whether they be the simplest concepts to get into or classics that should be on everyone’s lists. We will discuss some of our “first fantasies”, the ones we wish we started with and the ones you might should put off, making this the perfect spot for fantasy beginners and fantasy pros.

Charity Art Jam (4:30 – 6:30 PM)

Come watch as artist-guests, such as myself, create artwork in real time, in various media, all for the benefit of the Multiverse Charity Auction and Backpack Buddies! 

Saturday

All-Ages Storytime Reading (1:00 – 2:00 PM)

I read a very short excerpt of their work (will most likely be In Search of Amika), and attendees get to act out the scene as an opportunity to win raffle prizes. How they win prizes is what makes this ridiculously fun.

From Page to Screen to Screen (4:00 – 5:00 PM)

Recently we have seen an influx of adaptations, with games becoming TV shows, TV shows becoming comic books, and comic books becoming films, and these new takes often come with unintended consequences. Often, adaptations attempt to close plot holes from the original story, change the source material to fit the new medium, or recontextualize original themes and motifs, and as properties are adapted and expanded, their lore, for better or worse, is often shaken to the core. Join us as we discuss some of our favorite adaptations and how their new mediums shift the stories for new and returning audiences.

Sunday

MCs That Look Like Me: Disabled & Divergent Heroes (11:30 AM – 12:30 PM)

Fantasy frequently draws inspiration for stories, characters, and themes from real-world marginalized groups because of the depth and dimension of their experiences. This is especially true of the disabled and neurodivergent communities. Yet, despite being the source of many diverse and compelling narratives, these groups frequently are not showcased prominently (or positively) in the stories they’ve inspired. However, in spite of the lacking representation, there are characters like General Amaya from The Dragon Prince and Percy from the Percy Jackson series who act as respectful and responsible portrayals of disabled and neurodivergent people in fantasy settings. In this panel, we will explore fantasy works that highlight disabled and neurodivergent characters. 

Art: Appropriation vs. Appreciation (1:00 – 2:00 PM)

A lively and important conversation about the importance of honoring the lived experience of all humans, including culture, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, race, ability, age, etc., as they relate to making, appreciating and buying artwork. We will also discuss the nature and importance of representation in art.

That’s all the panels I will be on! And remember, I will also be tabling so if you don’t catch me at a panel, you can catch me at my table.