MultiMind's Blog, page 5

Bookbinding & Fanfic – Apparently, It’s a Discussion

I’ve come to notice through a question in one of my online bookbinding community that there’s some odd non-issue that is for some reason or another is a big deal, particularly to those who probably need a different hobby: bookbinding fanfiction.

Not publishing it the same way that a regular book that sits in a bookstore is published – which would be a different issue, mainly to do with copyright because the person is now making the fanfic they wrote a commercial product and thus can make money off it. At least work it into an actual original story first before you make it hit stores.

We’re just talking about plain ol’ stitching a book together by hand and that’s it.

It’s bookbinding. How it is a copyright breaking act to just stitch a book is a great demonstration of the phrase “The Stupid, It Burns”.

You can handbind anything, from the wackadoodle fanfic you made to a Quran or a Bible. The fanfic is yours and if you have the skillset to turn the digital copy into a physical copy, have at it. To be honest, when I first heard the question, I thought I had missed a much more earnest, thought-provoking question that pertained to restoring books and book preservation but newp, it was something pretty flatliningly inane. I wasn’t the only person confused in the bookbinding comm, either.

Do people genuinely get emo over this? Turns out, some do because, whoo, it’s apparently some debate by people who honestly could have spent their time doing better things with it.

I stitch my works all the time. It allows me to work on my bookbinding skill whilst not wasting paper and materials with making pretty books that I’ll never use. It’s art, duh. It also lets me see my work in physical, complete book form, which for some writers, that’s all the validation they need for their work and the time they spent on it. That it isn’t just a random file on their computer but something existent. The end. Not a whole lot there.

I see fanfic as training wheels when it comes to writing practice. I’ve written it when I was younger, many authors have started out writing via writing fanfic. It gives great practice in learning how to craft a story using ready-made characters and worlds while you learn how to get a better grip on how to write creatively, thus the training wheel analogy.

Bookbinding is a skill that requires a lot of steady practice. It eats up materials and you wind up with a bunch of empty, blank books in the end. It seems a good worthwhile idea, in a way, to stitch fanfic (which, by the way, you need a special software usually to properly collate pages for books and booklets, such as Booklet Creator – or have fun stitching single pages of 8.5×11″ pages, which is big) as it creates practice for bookbinding and, oh look, you get a physical book out of it.

If you don’t sell it, but instead give it to others or trade with others as gifts or things like that, I don’t see where the issue is. Sounds like pretty standard nerd behavior to me. Welcome to learning how people shared fanfic before the advent of the internet? ¯\(o-o)/¯ I still have print outs of someone’s fanfic based off rock band Linkin Park called “The Linkins” to this very day. The digital version no longer exists because the website is now gone due to the fact internet now doesn’t look like internet then but I still have my printouts, which, yep, I still read them from time to time. It’s not handbound (because I didn’t have the skill at the age of 15), it’s plainly stapled together but I still have it. The men of LP are not going to come through my windows over it, neither will their lawyers, nor have any of them ever. And I now have friends who are close friends of the men of LP (I didn’t when I was 15. I would have died from fan-overload.) It isn’t a big deal.

If you sell it:
1) Congrats, you better have top-notch bookbinding artistic skill to outpace your fanfic writing – which takes years – because otherwise, talk about wasting someone else’s money. Also, it’s going to get unsustainable fast because the price (due to the bookbinding) will be ballooned due to all the work that goes into bookbinding – assuming you’re not going to just saddle stitch down some folded paper the center, slap on a exorbitant price tag and call it a day. At that point, you’re just scheming someone.

2) That sounds like an easy way to land in copyright hot water. You are selling art via the bookbinding but you’re not selling a blank, handstitched journal. You are selling a story that is baldly based on someone else’s story. At minimum, learn how to craft that story into an original story (take the training wheels off, so to speak) and then have at it.

Frankly, this anxiety that new writers and bookbinders have about the Copyright FBI kicking down their door over a small stab-bind journal they made based off whatever book they like is honestly overblown and wholly pointless.

Join Me at WriteHive – The Free, All-Digital Writing Conference (June 7-9, 2024)

Click the pic to go to the site

Today opens registration for WriteHive, an all-digital conference for writers. It’s in its fifth year and I will be on two panels:

Historians on History in FictionWar and Long-term Effects of War in Fiction

The conference will be ran through Discord and videos will eventually be available online for all to see. You can also see panels from WriteHive conferences in the past, just scroll down to “Conference Archive”. To participate in this year’s conference, you must register enable to get an invite to the Discord server.

There’s also a live pitch schedule for those who want to pitch to small-press editors and/or literary agents for review and/or representation. In addition, there’s first page critiques and query critiques all weekend long. I recommend keeping up to date with the schedule to keep track of those.

Vangoal Dip Pens – Not Bad, As Long As You Only Need A Pen Holder

I recently needed to get a new dip pen holder for teaching a calligraphy session for the Latinx KidLit Auction and didn’t like the usual holders of metal dip pen nibs that brands like Speedball would create. I’ve seen them for so long that I just wanted something different (and because my original nib holder is currently non-existent).

I always wanted a modified quill. A nice, feather dip pen. Very quaint, much classic, very wow.

Regular ink stationary stores don’t have these kind so I had to slink off to Evil Corp, also known as Amazon.

When it comes to getting quill metal dip pens, it’s mainly what looks that matter to me. As long as it has a feather sticking out it and has the little holder piece at the bottom to hold a standard dip metal nib, all is fine by me. It should not be omega expensive, it’s just a feather with some metal bits, after all. And it’s not a smartphone, it’s an old style pen.

Since the pens holders are basically one and the same, just with different brand names slapped on it all across Amazon, I mainly looked for price and looks. The one I picked was Vangoal’s blue feather pen, with gold splatters on it and a bronze nib holder.

The nib is mine, a Hunt 512 extra-fine point

Mind you, Vangoal is not a real brand, not in the same way that TWSBI or Ferris Wheel Press are actual brands. Vangoal depicts themselves as one but they’re a reseller. They literally used AI pictures (complete with wonky fingers) in a section where they said the quill pen holders are handcrafted by artisan makers. They’re not. The quality is decent-ish (it does the job but you won’t be confusing them for Narwhal any time soon). Pretty standard Amazon seller, complete with wonky English. If you pay more than $15 for this, you’re being had.

All I need is the pen holder itself, not the nibs or the ink it comes with and I tried hard to find one with just the holder itself in the same color & design and couldn’t.

The nibs, I could already tell at a glance sucked. They’re stamped from a metal that looks perhaps a couple grades above aluminum foil that are total copies of actual standard nibs. They didn’t look of good quality, which is like Black lives – it matters and big time. The nib is the most important part since that’s what does the writing. The holder is just that, something to hold the nib in the hand. I could literally 3d print a random holder, can’t 3D print a nib.

Cheap doesn’t always mean “bad quality” but this time, it definitely does. When someone is learning calligraphy or how to use dip pens, they don’t know when it’s them or the pen when problems occur or what proper writing with a dip pen is supposed to feel like. When I got the nibs, I was double right. Flimsy, doesn’t hold ink very well and sometimes picks at the page on certain strokes, thus not a very smooth writing experience. And they’re very visibly a knock off.

Vangoal (Left), Mine (Right)

See the difference? And I have another one, with the pointer finger nib.

Mine (Right), Vangoal (Left)

Note the authentic one looks like a pointer finger. The other looks like two fingers, if not a near middle finger. It’s poorly stamped, in other words.

The authentic nibs are just easier to use and simply better quality. And they’re not pricy, the average nib price is $1.80, if not lower

The ink the set came with doesn’t have a name, it’s just “Calligraphy Ink”. The bottle seems pretty decent, it has a stopper built into the cap. The ink isn’t the worst I’ve ever met but it isn’t the greatest, either. Finicky with paper, feathers on some, not on others. If the paper has any decent absorbency on it, the ink feathers a lot, especially if the line is more than super thin (calligraphy regularly features wide lines, from Copperplate to Blackletter). It’s a techy ink, in other words. Not at all waterproof, your words will run if water touches it. But the ink dries half fast though, which is ok. But the ink isn’t really good for beginners because of how it’s hit-or-miss with paper. It also likes to bleed through paper on wide lines.

The average new dip pen writer is using regular printer paper or notebook paper so I recommend Speedball’s India Calligraphy ink because of how well it handles on various papers. It was my first ink when I was learning calligraphy, I don’t remember it being a pain on notebook paper and it gave a nice steady line. I could buy it as a teenager so it wasn’t a pricy ink, about $6, and, remember, these inks last for years. Unless you’re transcribing the entire Lord of the Rings series, including the extra books, this bottle is not going to run down any time soon. One bottle is going to last you years.

Here are (terribly taken) pictures of Vangoal’s ink. I have a light shining on it because, well, it’s black ink and I took the pic in the morning. I use Southworth’s resume paper in my handmade ink journal and I also have Ferris Wheel Press’s ink swatch journal which is a heavy grade, stiff paper.

Handmade ink journal

The smear test on the second time shows it will take a moment to dry and the laid line on the third line (used via a tweezer) shows how bad the feathering situation can be with any line that is wider than thin and if someone writes with pen that allows a lot of ink to run through (also known as a “wet” pen. “Dry” pens are really restrictive about ink coming out and thus put out thinner lines). None of my inks have ever done that and I have over ten bottles that spans various brands.

Ferris Wheel Press ink swatch journal

The ink behaves better on Ferris Wheel Press’ cardstock heavy paper but it still can be finicky on cardstock heavy papers. Hit or miss, like I said.

All I needed the set for was the pen holder, which works pretty perfectly for me – someone who already knows how to do calligraphy. I just need it to look nice and hold a nib at the same time. For a newbie, the handle might be a little on the heavy side and it’s designed for looks, not ergonomics so if you can handle it, go for it (but don’t pay more than $15 for it).

Oh! and the set comes with a pen stand that makes the pen stand upright. It sucks. The pen holder is at a tilt when there is no nib in it because of the arrow designs on the lower barrel where the nib goes. When the nib holder has a nib in it, the pen still tilts and all the weight is on the point of the nib, which will eventually ruin it. The pen should be laid flat or if there is an upright pen holder, it needs to hold it up by the holder, not the nib.

Overall, the set is fine-ish for the price paid for it but you still would have to buy better nibs – only buy from ink stationary stores like JetPens and Anderson pens so you know it is legit and not the fake-stamped ones, by the way – and you would eventually have to get a bottle of ink that works on different papers. The pen holder does the plain job of holding a nib and looking nice in the process so it’s an ok holder but that’s basically it. Speedball nib holders are about 3 times cheaper (about $3 a pop) but I wanted something visually fancier.

The Issue of Reading – And Why It’s No Surprise It’s an Issue (Or “Why Reading Is So Easy To Hate”)

Reading, according to some reports, is going downward. In the US, at least.

I kind of have this one issue with reading: it’s seen as some venerable, intellectual skill that only implies that someone is refined and utmost diligent.

And so many people find the idea of reading noble – but boring.

I have to pull teeth to get someone to read if they don’t label themselves a “reader”. They think they’ll not get the work, it’ll go over their head; it’s a waste of time or “reading is for smart people, leave me with my TikTok and let me be”.

Full disclosure, I’m a:

Novelist
Librarian
Bookbinder
Calligrapher

So, yeah, I have a vested interest in the written word.

But the one thing I notice, especially as a librarian, is how people don’t like the idea of reading. That to sit down with a book is so viscerally objectionable that they rather avoid it – but they’ll put down others for being book-allergic, because “reading books” is synonymous with “being smart”.

One is because some people don’t want to sit through reading the “Literary Classics”: Proust, Shakespeare, Orwell, and other super boring White guys that can’t write women, people of color or anything besides other boring White guys worth a lick.

That’s totally understandable. These classics didn’t get this way because they were genuinely good – for example, Shakespeare was considered incredibly low brow for the 1600s and he wasn’t even popular during the time he was alive (because he was low brow for his time), that was Ben Jonson, who wrote “The Alchemist” – it’s because boring White guys who do not read anything but boring White guys thought this set of boring White guys were particularly good. It’s basically a reading list by the Yesteryear versions of Andrew Tate and his ilk. And it got cemented in thanks to structural prejudice that pretty much made people think “Reading is not for me because if I have to read that, I’d rather not read at all.”

Then there’s schooling. They do such an amazing job making sure no one wants to read. They pick super boring books – none of them graphic novels or mangas or comics (I’ll get to that in a minute) – that are just plain outdated for the modern times, and force people to read things that they may or may not understand. It’s double worse for school kids of color and those with learning disabilities (known or unknown), and triple worse for anyone who is a combo of that. You already don’t get to see works from people who look like or sound like you (unless they’re super cherry picked suffera works that basically boils down to “Don’t you wish you were White?” stories), they’re from eras where the English and context if viciously different from what you’re used to, and the stories are usually incredibly insulting and demeaning if you’re not a straight White guy. Bro, making a Black kid suffer through H. P. Lovecraft is just awful – but gods forbid if some White kid has to read Phillis Wheatley and Amos Tutuola, amirite? The books are dry, the meanings are just meandering and the discussions on the books are so cold and vivisecting that if some kid sees a book they like on the reading list, they’re filled with dread because they know they won’t like the book anymore once the class is done with it since it’ll be dissected to shreds. I was an English major, I should know. The only way you could get out of these courses with a half decent grade or better is by not having a single book you like on the list. And even then, the selection of books that were from super White guys made things uber difficult. It’s easy to make someone like reading if you constantly give them books that aren’t fun or enjoyable to read. And books that are fun doesn’t have to mean “books that are dumb”. Quite the opposite.

I think the yoke between “reading books” = “sheer intelligence” should be disconnected, at least a little bit.

Books can be for entertainment. Books should be for entertainment. Just like movies. Just like tv shows. Yes, you can learn a lot from a book – but you also can learn a lot from a documentary also. And it isn’t like people don’t like what books can hold – a vast majority of popular media we have right now started from book form, such as Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, Kindred, Found, and every movie or show that Marvel & DC has ever made.

Also, comics, mangas and graphic novels are books. They’re in book form, they’re read like books, the end. Reading Maus isn’t any less than reading Night. They’re both very informative in their own right. If I have to sit through a history book, I rather it be in graphic novel form so it’s easier for me to understand exactly how things felt and was perceived during the historical period I am reading through the art. Barefoot Gen, March, They Called Us Enemy and Tiananmen 1984 are outstanding demonstrations of that. Two of my favorite manga series are Samurai Executioner and Lady Snow Blood, which are both set in feudal Japan but the history plays out in the background while you focus on the main story on the page. I, as a librarian, genuinely don’t get it when I hear parents tell me they want their kids to read books but will take away their comics. “I want them to read Plato and Hemmingway!” they’ll say. I usually ask “Do you read Plato and Hemmingway?” and they always answer the same: No.

Then I ask, “Why not? And your kid is reading comics, that’s a book-“

“They need to read real books!” they usually bluster.

“Books that you said you don’t read, right? Why don’t you read them?”

The parent basically has no f#cking clue pretty much of what their kid should read. News Flash: Nine year olds don’t usually want to sit through Tolstoy. Ever. The parent doesn’t even read these books and thus has no idea what is in them (super boring literature, usually. Great for putting a kid to sleep and never wanting to ever pick up another book ever again) but somehow wants their child to be a reader, to grow up smart. By taking away books that would make them like reading and making them read books that would make them hate reading.

How dumb, bro.

My parents were readers and we had bookshelves in our house. I saw my parents read, I was read to and all that jazz. I was allowed to read comics, I watched Sesame Street, which was big on reading. Ditto with Reading Rainbow, Wishbone, Ghostwriter and Between the Lions. In other words, books weren’t seen as this god-awful thing that only “smart” people force themselves through because InTelLecTuALzzzz.

But even I kinda wasn’t always big on reading because of how White it was. How boring the content was (except Bunnicula. Bunnicula is and shall forever be, the greatest that ever is and the greatest that ever was. Bar none. Fite me.) It was just White literature all over the place and while my parents and community made sure I would see Black and Brown and Asian literature, schooling made sure I wouldn’t.

Even now, I get to see this as a librarian. It’s not that people don’t want to read or Ao3, Webtoons and Audible would be deep trouble – even to be on the internet just to find something to watch, you have to be literate. Comment sections require literacy (even the comments that make you wonder what counts as literacy ). What it is, is that a lot of people don’t want to read books that are dowdy, boring … they would rather read something fun. And since reading is associated with “boring books”, reading is thus seen as “not fun”. I’ve seen people who would say they hate reading … but own at least three different, full-length manga collections. Or will sit through a spindling Reddit comment section or tumblr post 20+ people long.

Because those are fun.

They’re associated with fun so, to them, it doesn’t count as reading, because reading is not fun and therefore, it’s not Reading.

When I tell people that I’m a librarian, I get a question I actually hate a lot: “What kind of book should I read?”

It’s one thing to ask me that when I’m on the clock, it’s another when I’m not.

My answer is usually the same tho: Whatever you actually would like to read.

And the stupid part? It takes people for an utter loop.

They usually think I’m going to say some super stuffy “Yep, I worked at the Library of Congress and only read the crème de la crème of literature” type answer.

Which is dumb. If you can’t stomach Poe, you can’t stomach Poe. Plain and simple. (Though, if you imagine Usher, the performer, in the tale “The House of Usher”, it does make for a very entertaining read. Also, when I was a kid, I had no idea the two were separated so any visual telling of “The House of Usher” is Illegitimate unless I see the actual Usher in the role of his namesake.)

A book is a book, whether its a comic book, a book on tape, an e-reader, whatever. If you like it, it’s good. It doesn’t have to be a portent of intellect, it just has to be something you want to read.

But also, there’s the issue of access to books. When all the options you have thrown at you are White AF or super duper light-skinned/White aspiring/White-coded, it’s easy to just want to drop out of reading altogether. If you don’t see yourself, what’s the point?

I always love telling people about Melanin Library, which is all about books written by Black people and only Black people. The books don’t always have Black characters, because we are a vast group of people, duh, but they are always penned by Black writers. My books are on there as well but I recommend the site overall to everyone because of how much I actually use it to find new things to read. Through Melanin Library, I found Pendulum Heroes by James Beamon and We Are All So Good At Smiling by Amber McBride. I really love those two books and trust, Book Riot nor Locus Magazine were going to ever give them the massive limelight that would have helped these books cross my eyes, Melanin Library did. And, its on the internet, so it is accessible to those who may not have libraries with diverse, sprawling options.

And there’s The Storygraph, which is like GoodReads, but Black-created, Black-owned and actually works. Their byline is “Because Life Is Too Short To Waste On a Book You Don’t Like” and they’re true to form about it. I have found lots of books that genuinely seem interesting to read to me through The Storygraph. And they’re diverse, at that.

In addition, I read webcomics also. I super love Daybreak, which centers two Black characters but is made by an Asian creator, Moosopp, and it’s an amazing story. I like Vibe Check because it’s a great webcomic, especially for Black boys and men. I read Hover Girls by GDBee when it was a webcomic but it’s about to be published into a graphic novel itself soon. I super loved its take on the magical girl genre and while featuring two interested Black girl characters, one who is uber bubbly and the other who is deadly serious (emphasis on the “deadly” bit, she’s good with knives and bats). And the Aztec version of the magical girls genre which I really love a lot, Necahual, made by a Latin creator duo.

Continuing the bit about access with books, there is also the fact it seems a lot of people don’t know that even their phone can turn into an e-reader. If you have an Android phone, the capability is probably already built in via Google Books (which I use) but there’s quite a few apps that can easily convert a phone into an e-reader, for those who do not want to buy an e-reader. Or if they are low on time, there are audiobooks. An audiobook can be listened to as you drive, do low-brain busywork, etc.

And even with that, it’s like pulling teeth to get someone to read. Because of that visceral “Reading Is Bad” that’s pretty much forced into kids at a young age. Their parents don’t read, thus their kids don’t read. The books that are available to read are just plain bad, especially the classics. The idea of reading is depicted as either something for those who are lofty and smart and not for someone to amuse themselves with – because Books Are Not Supposed To Be Amusing/Book Are For Thinking, Not For Fun. It isn’t because people hate stories or movies and shows based on books would fail miserably, it’s the act of reading itself that’s seen as so miserable and awful.

And that, in and of itself, is a problem. Especially since literacy is so important.

But I’ve seen people who don’t know how to introduce anyone into books showcase books that have spines wide enough to double as an impressive block of wood. Y’know, books that have a billion pages no new reader is going to want to sit through. Those books. They’re usually White (or super light skinned) as hell, convoluted as f#ck, and the visual of the thick spine alone is beyond intimidating.

When I suggest something to people who want to get into reading, I usually recommend webcomics because they’re not so long that a new reader would be so intimidated, they’re digital so the person usually can’t see the thickness of the comic (ditto with ebooks, but they can showcase a fearsome page count at times), and they’re visual so the person can ease into reading instead of starting with some dense book that they may not like. In other words: short works are your friend. An audiobook that is an hour long is a good starter point. If you like horror – especially horror not written by White folks – and audiostories that are a bit on the short side, Nightlight Podcast has you covered. They have one of my stories but they also have a bevy of others, all free to listen to and wholly accessible. All in all, short fiction – that is interesting and dynamic because very few in my experience has wanted to sit through Asimov – is your friend. So what if the book isn’t thick enough to double as a short stool? It’s still a book. There are poetry books, like What the Shotgun Said To the Head by Saul Williams and novels in verse (which are novels told through poetry style) such as We Are All So Good At Smiling by Amber McBride.

As far as I’m concerned, reading is reading, even if it isn’t suffering through outdated books with droll stories that are only effective in putting someone to sleep or making them feel so confounded they don’t want to read another thing ever. There are lots to read and there are those who do read but honestly, there’s no point in reading if it’s just treated as a punishment or as something that is the enjoyment equivalent of drinking a rusted can of paint.

By the way, you’re not more noble or smarter than anyone just because you like reading. It’s just reading. Get over yourself.

Beep Boop Beep: Error Report – Or “Spotify, Findaway Voices, AI Audiobooks, and the Problem of it All”

Firstly, what a wild ride it has been from the Hugos cocking up yet again because gotta love bullsh#ttery. Nice to know I’ll super never be able to win a Hugo, either because they hand out awards to writers of color like Scrooge hands out charity or if I even get on the ballot (I strongly doubt that), whatever secret dossier they’d make on me would be tall enough to double as a barstool. Sad Puppies and now this? Hugos really doesn’t like writers of color at all, apparently. Even the Nebulas (which is by SFWA) has tried to do better, to give credit where credit is due. At least to the point of not throwing ppl off the ballot and pitching a Standard “Whiteness Means Authority & I Am Authority” White Guy hissy fit when people ask about why the ballots are wonky and if there was some backroom dealing at play – even to other White people, which is a bit on the humorous side, I suppose. It does not help the fact at all that one of the people who was part of making secret dossiers and keeping writers of color*, particularly Chinese diaspora writers, out during the 2023 Hugo was allowed to be on the board again for the 2024 Hugos until the huge exposé hit the front page of File 770. She only stepped down – not was thrown out – once this info had hit the stands. In other words, the Hugo committee thought that she was decent enough, despite all the bs milling about her and her crew that had already happened, to bring on again as an administrator for another year.

At least there’s the Ignyte Award.

That’s all a different post for a different time.

This post is about good ol’ AI issues in the arts. As reported by Writer’s Beware** and I can confirm with my own emails I’ve gotten from Findaway/Spotify, they’re getting way too comfy with AI voices and rights grabbing from authors and narrators alike.

Now, there’s no getting around it, narrators are expensive. If you’re recording a 3-5 hour long audiobook using a professional narrator/voice actor, they can cost a stack easily. Not everyone has a grand or more laying around, especially not indie writers. I rely on grants and royalties to pay for mine. I can see how and why an AI voice sounds like a really good option for those who are lean of pocket but far of vision.

It also doesn’t help that audiobook dealers and makers, such as Google Books, Draft2Digital and Apple are pretty much urging authors to switch to AI voice. Only a couple days after the Spotify debacle, did Google Books come out with this email:

Either Google is trying to jump into the fight after seeing Findaway/Spotify or this is some unfortunate timing (I vote the former).

AI voices, for them, looks like a champion choice because it’s their products and it produces the one thing they like, besides money: data. It is so much easier to control content and who gets seen and who doesn’t get seen when your proprietary robots get used. Given that tech companies care less about ethics than the average Hugo Awards voting board, this is a bad thing ultimately for writers and narrators. And listeners because if there’s one thing I’m noticing, AI isn’t as widely received with open arms by everyone.

AI makes data procurement easy, because it’s all ones and zeroes, at the end of the day. If Apple wants to ban content about China or Black Lives Matter, an AI, especially if it’s an AI narrator they created, is going to do exactly that. Google already got in trouble in the past with turning “I’m sad for Hong Kong” in English into “I’m stoked for Hong Kong” in Chinese – without telling the user. This means ethics bending is well within their realm of “Things they are ok with doing”. An AI can’t think, an AI doesn’t have morals. They’re just super impressive YakBaks that will do anything the code tells them to do. And they can censor themselves perfectly if the code tells them to do exactly that. Yes, even without the author or listener knowing, unless someone is reading the book alongside the audio, word for word.

Can’t bring up queer people because you live in Florida or Texas or Uganda or China or Russia? Apple and Google and other companies are fine with turning “girlfriend” or “boyfriend” into “best friend” – even while they pretend they’re pro-queer during June because corporate bullsh#ttery. Or just shadowban the book since it has the “sensitive words” in their digital stores. The AI already knows what it’s going to say so it isn’t hard to check it. That’s their tech, it’s designed to be easily data mined when needed.

And if they can copy human narrators because the company snuck in some mess into the ToS that allows for voice duping, it makes it easy to censor without someone noticing a censor occurred. It’s ok that the narrator said it, the voice double will make sure you don’t hear it and get something different instead that sounds just as fluid. That’s remarkably concerning on a series of levels.

One level is that human narrators deserve to have work, plain and simple. When you’re hearing an audiobook, you’re hearing an audio performance. One that (hopefully) has heart and spirit in the work. At least that’s how I prefer the recordings of my audiobooks to be. You’re paying for a performance, not a cold recite from Alpha-5.

Also, my narrators are hired based on cultural reasons: some words are pronounced or said differently based on context, person and/or situation. Or are just in different languages. Trust me, I have tried AI voices just to see what Google was yammering on about when they first tried to shove it onto me, they also made sure to code in their racism. The words that the AI voice stumbled on were just insulting and agitating and the inflections were plain wrong. And I have to go back and fine-tooth comb the fact the AI clearly had a very White dev team. It’s easier hiring Black, Asian and Latin narrators that can just do exactly what I wrote in the book, no need to “Jan. 6” it up. Like I said, it’s not like I’m ever getting a Hugo.

Plain and simple, the AI sucked because of how much micro-nattering I had to do. It sucks at emotional expression, it sucks at cultural intonation, it just sucks. And if there’s one thing I am diligent about, I don’t like things that cause me more work. If a narrator can’t get an inflection down or emotes incorrectly, I can at least use plain words and me doing a sample take to show how I want things done. And I want my narrators to be within the emotive neighborhood of my take, not always a sharp copy. Can’t do that with an AI, that’s a skill that requires a human touch. An AI doesn’t know if I want someone to wind up into agitated anger because their at their wits end but don’t want to cry so it shows as fury instead, or for someone to give a backhanded compliment as if it were with genuine care. I can work the AI eventually to give me that but it would be too much work that I 100000000000000000% don’t feel like spending because why give myself more work just to hate it all in the end? But a human narrator can deliver that effortlessly, especially when you instruct them plainly to or just show them yourself, in a snap.

Yes, narrators can be super pricy but also some narrators will work with you in the payment department, especially up and coming ones. You don’t always have to sink a rent payment to get a decent audio version of your book. And I have heard AI narration, it really isn’t too awesome. It can sound booming as if told by Morgan Freeman but I rather hear from the original, award winning actor Morgan Freeman. AI voices try to sound varied but in a very constant way. Like they’re forever interested by what is being said and stuck on “forever interested” or “forever dramatic”, if that makes sense. People don’t actually talk like that.

I super see the ease of why indie authors and others would want to use AI voices (and you know trad pub would love to use AI voices if it means cutting someone else out of a getting a paycheck and isn’t a CEO) but it’s a lot more than someone can bargain for, that’s for sure. It simply isn’t worth it.

* They also got White writers mixed up in this Hugo mess but, people, it’s the Hugos, Paul Weimer and Neil Gaiman will get other shots at the Hugo award as long as they don’t suddenly lose their ability to be literate. It’s a bigger uphill climb for writers of color. It took the Hugos 63 years since their inception in 1953 to give an award to any writer of color. That happened in 2016. To N.K. Jemison. If you’re White, you’ll get another chance, just keep writing. If you’re not, that can easily be your one and only chance

**I may have my criticisms of SFWA that are a tower tall because of their past behavior – but Victoria Strauss is a total gem. A walking credit to SFWA, I trust her like Walter Cronkite. Trust is earned, not given – esp. when it comes to broken trust – and this is how you earn it

Latinx KidLit Book Festival Auction! Runs: Feb 5 – 16

Auction for a chance to have my stuff! Or pick my brain!

I have donated books for Latinx Kidlit Book Festival, which runs Feb 5 – 16.

Here’s what you win if you participate in the auction!

Signed copy of The Glassman, with clear, glass-like page holder, custom guitar pick and sticker. Signed in blood ink and with glass pen!Virtual book club or school visit45 minute knowledge share!

The knowledge share is pretty vague so allow me to elaborate:

I get to share my knowledge in particularly the creative arts, from traditional art such as fiber arts and bookbinding, to multimedia art, such as resin art, to modern art, such as using virtual reality and DIY tech to create art. I also get to share my knowledge in other subjects as well, such as in audio creation/engineering, in publishing, research both historical and general, and more! I’m pretty multifaceted in my skillset so the knowledge I can share is pretty vast.

Funds raised from this auction goes to funding their part-time staff of Las Musas Books. As the festival describes itself:

“Our aim was to connect Latinx authors and illustrators with readers and educators in classrooms around the globe. Since then, and with the help of countless volunteers, the festival has continued to foster a love of story and literacy as well as increase empathy and conversation among educators, students, and book lovers while uplifting the voices of Latinx kidlit book creators.”

By the way, in case anyone is in need to know, while The Glassman does feature Afro-Chicano, Chicano and Black characters exclusively, it’s not a kidlit book given the dark content in the book. It has been donated to help raise money for the auction to boost Latinx children literature authors and book creators. I’m Afro-Caribbean, not Latinx but it’s a good cause so hence why I am donating.

Have fun!

House of Ko-Fi

I once wrote about the concerns I had about getting things like a Patreon. They’re still extremely valid concerns but I decided to open a Ko-fi instead to see how that works out.

Click the picture to go to my Ko-Fi!

Why am I trying my hand with Ko-fi when I did all that work to make my Patreon:

I can make a shop (Meaning you can buy all my priced works directly from me: print, ebook and audiobook, and knickknacks. I’m excited about the audiobooks because of all the work the narrators and I put into them.)I can open up commissions (Meaning you can commission things like handbound journals, page pressers and more. Slots are limited so I can focus on my primary reason why my Ko-Fi is around: my writing)A person can donate either one time or monthly, their choice. Scribbles will be locked behind a paywall for those who donate because I’m still ergh about showcasing my workI can raise money for a goal (which I have, going to South Korea for 3 months to write a book series titled Soaring)

Simply put, Ko-Fi is more versatile for me as a creator than Patreon is. I am not the type that can put out monthly rewards and things like that and Ko-Fi is better for those who are like that. I can post as often or as little as I like, which is great for me as someone with a disorder that can be disruptive and I am the type that rather focus on my writing than make an online art presence. As much as I would like to be one of those authors that seem to be 24/7 attached to social media, I simply am not ¯\(=_=)/¯ There are whole days I’m not even on social media – because I’m writing/researching/working/doing something. I am a Millennial, true blue, but I’m not a walking streamcast with my life forever On The Air. One of my music friends posts a Instagram story almost everyday. Not really because he loves to do so (he’s Gen X so this is less his thing than it is mine), he’s even said he’d throw his phone into the ocean if he could, but because he feels its necessary to in this modern day of the short reel and shorter attention span, so not to fade from memory. He’s pretty good with his stories, they will have editing, effects, all sorts of things that I 100% don’t do, almost everyday.

The selling point of using Ko-Fi for me is the store part. It’s not just me standing in the middle of the digital world with my hand out, ppl can buy my works from me if they don’t like the idea of donating. At least that’s doable. I like that part a lot. I have been actively looking for a while for a digital store front and now I found one. For now, shipping will be free because I am trying things out. I don’t want to gauge anyone. It’s also great for one or two off things like a hand knitted blanket, things that are fairly one shot items that I would not make a bunch of times for a litany of reasons and might be expensive – such as a hand knitted blanket. Ko-Fi restricts the categories down to 5 so that’s good for me because it means I won’t stretch myself too thin and I can cycle what I want to do.

I also like the commissions section because I do like to make things with my hands so it’s helpful for things others may want but I don’t have available for one reason or another. I’m very well versed in the creative arts so I might as well give it a go and I can strict how many commissions I can take. From 3D printing to resin work to fiber crafts to technology making to whatever, doing commssions sounds pretty good. I may even expand it to book formatting and audiobook audio engineering but that’s for the distant future when I have more time and a better head to manage things.

I have a goal listed on my Ko-Fi, to go to South Korea to write my sci-fi/fantasy alternative history series Soaring. I strongly recommend anyone donating to read the post “Caveat Emptor” about the whole shebang, especially due to some of the sensitive content that will most likely be in Soaring. This way, hopefully no one will feel a Gotcha moment should they donate and then years later read the book to find out it’s something Ron DeSantis wouldn’t simply ban but burn. (That is also the perfect description of one of my future combined works Galaxia & The Kill Crew Chronicles) In case you haven’t noticed, I’m trying to be as succinct and forthcoming as possible since there’s a donation component involved. I know how thorough I can be about picking people to donate to and such, so I’m just trying to provide the same about of info I would probably prefer to see to make a proper decision. Yeah, this could be a bunch of empty yammering but given I actually do put out works that I actually do put in some sort of effort in, hopefully that can speak for itself.

I may have something for supporters, such as occasional movie nights via discord or something similar. But those are few and far in between. Remember, I’m not trying to become an online sensation or things like that but just perhaps show occasional stuff, especially since I have accrued so much media due to research for Soaring and my general interest.

Another thing I want to avoid for MultiMind Publishing is to have a slew of social media sites I have to post on. I try to keep those few and far in between. I have a bunch with my Black Witch blog but for MMP? I want keep things simple so that I can mainly focus on the art. I’m not the type of artist that can record what they’re doing while they’re doing it because 1) I’m not really picturesque when I write or make any art because I’m focused on the art 2) it’s a skill in and of itself to record art while making art 3) I’ve tried it, I hated it, I understand completely why my music friend would want to wing his phone into the ocean if he could.

I also don’t want to paywall every interaction between me and the world. The blog isn’t going to Ko-Fi, and the Ko-Fi is meant to supplement the site and my work, not the other way around. The things I rather paywall are most likely Behind the Scene scribbles and things like that but not much other stuff. Maybe also things I do in VR. No point in paywalling my ink swatches for example because they’re already available on my Instagram and I have no desire to do that anyways. I don’t want to paywall people asking me to read their works or anything like that because that would make me feel not great. At least in commissions, I have the ability to turn down anything I don’t want to work on. I don’t think I would show early shows of my currently unpublished work because it breaks the tight streamline I process my work in, such as snapshots of my hand written journals. Any break in that streamline means the work falls off the tracks and that’s not great for me. I like being reachable for free but some stuff will get paywalled, however. Just not everything, though. Especially since whatever is behind a paywall doesn’t stay behind a paywall forever so I always think of a “Would I like this on the internet?” for whatever I plan to paywall.

Whatever I paywall, I plan to make it available for both monthly and one-time donors. For one time donors, the paywalled posts will only be available for 30 days and then back to paywall unless they donate again, it’s how Ko-Fi functions. For monthly donors, all paywall stuff is available until after they stop donating. That way, people can join and leave as they would like. So far, as of posting, there isn’t anything paywalled but that material will eventually arrive.

Caveat Emptor | For Ko-Fi

Caveat Emptor

“Caveat Emptor” is basically Latin for “Buyer Beware”. Long post, ahoy! All for Ko-Fi, woo.

I have available on my Ko-Fi a goal to go to South Korea so I can work on Soaring, my sci-fi/fantasy alternate history series. This series has been in the works since I came up with the idea when I worked in the Library of Congress in 2014. In that decade of time, I have been collecting all sort of information and data about world history to weave a cohesive story. I wrote about Soaring quite a bit here.

What is Soaring about? Currently it’s a bit hard to describe since the work isn’t written yet and it’s just a sprawl of research notes, character lines and arc. It is one of my few works where I do talk about race, racism and that’s the crux of the story but it certainly no The Hate U Give: Speculative Fiction Edition but I guess some may say it’s in the same vein of Ring Shout and Lovecraft Country but not quite. (Though, given the premises of both works (I haven’t seen/read them admittedly, outside of snippets floating on the internet), if you liked Ring Shout and Lovecraft Country, you may like Soaring, especially if you’re into broader world history.) I’ll try my best to describe, I usually do the blurbs and “sizzle”/promo/story info stuff after the work is written because the story is now in solid form. This is currently in reverse, blurb/info piece before story penned so expect some major bits missing (that you most likely won’t notice as of now but I see like shining lights):

Racism and prejudice is alive, more than alive, it shows in the form of ever-dangerous “ghosts” that are visible and invisible in how they move the world and the people in it. But within these ghosts are more than simple apparitions, they change depending on where in the world they came from. This was handled quietly by Nia, a young woman gifted with the task of undoing what has been done to her ancestors but also to the world itself. Nia is tasked with resetting the world but she had rather handle things in a silent way, living her life and figuring herself out along the way. It’s a bit against what she was tasked to do but she sincerely didn’t want any attention on herself or her task. She didn’t even ask for this ability, it was thrown upon her. The less eyes, the better. Until she was forced into the open using her ability on live camera, which created an international political firestorm.

Meanwhile, there is Celeste, daughter of archeologists who have never come home. No one will tell her why and every answer she’s gotten always sounded … off. From the university, from the colleagues she thought were her parents’ friends, everyone who should have known something. In effort to fight the feeling that she’s been orphaned and the last to know about it, she spends time with her friend Maddie, daughter an oil and tech maven who always makes sure his daughter has everything she could ever want, including the ability to chase after her every dreams and whims of fashion and vlogging her life. Celeste is welcomed with open arms. It’s not her home, not her family but they love her as if she has been part of them since birth. Long time friends, it’s the least Maddie felt she could do to make Celeste feel better and figure out what happened to her parents, two of the only very few Black academics of the history and archeology departments. Celeste is grateful but everything is hard, especially her hurting heart.

One day, upon going through her parent’s basement, Celeste discovers a pack of cards that looks old but new at the same time. She opened the book of cards and a particular star necklace appears on her neck and a special ring glove appears on her hand. Little does she know, these cards were more than plain cards, they’re magical. And she has no idea how to take it off. But she eventually learns they’re a key to her parents and what happened to them. And perhaps the weird apparitions she keeps seeing from time to time since she opened the book of cards.

Celeste thought she was the only one that could do something special until she sees Nia on television. The both had no idea that they soon would be embroiled with international issues and become what would be deemed “Supers”, governmental representatives of a nation. After Nia, every nation scoured their citizens and found Supers of their own, to stand on the same footing as the United States. Some are proud to be Supers of their nations, some were forced into it, some were in it for themselves and others simply had no other choice.

To prevent international squabble, the Supers program is overseen by the United Nations, which provides a homestay for the Supers, the Hotel. And thus the real story begins as these different supers around the world interact with each other and the world around them. Nia was only supposed to get rid of the ghosts but she learns through being a Super, this would be a group effort – and the world people may want peace but some in the world don’t. But the world must be reset, by any means necessary.

———————-

That’s the basic rundown, in all its spindly, sprawling, probably nonsensical half-glory. I left a lot out for the sake of length and the fact the work isn’t written yet. That’s what I’m mailing myself to South Korea for.

The work will be set between 2008/2009-2015 so that means it includes historical incidents that occurred during that time such as:

– Arab Spring
– Japanese tsunami
– Occupy Wall St.
– Olympics (Winter & Summer games)
– Black Lives Matter protests
– Korean Protests/Sewol
– Ukraine/Russia: 2014 Edition
– The creation of South Sudan
– Banking crisis
– Palestine/Israel
– Syria
– Ebola in Africa
– Swine flu & SARS in various nations
– Hong Kong Protests/Occupy Hong Kong
– Sunflower Protests in Taiwan
– First Black US president elected (duh, obvs)
– The rise of social media, the changing landscape of media
– The rise of Hallyu/K-pop

That’s just the Super Massive Short List. In my ten years of accruing research, I have learned that what has happened in the world? A LOT. And because none of these events are borne from a vacuum, that means I had to look up histories such as:

– Iranian Revolution
– Xinjiang, Uyghurs and the land itself
– Gwangju Massacre
– Rwanda
– Palestine/Israel
– American history – Told from the perspective of the People of Color, not the Colonists
– Western History – Told from the perspective of the People of Color, not the Colonizers
– Aboriginal history
– Holocaust and anti-Semitism in general
– Falun Gong
– anti-Blackness and White supremacy in global society – Western imperialism, in other words
– Queer lives around the world and throughout history
– Japanese-Korean history
– Vietnam, Agent Orange children
– Korean, North/South history
– Developing Nations debt (also known as Third World Country Debt)
– Abolition and the Civil Rights Movement
– Prejudice in what feels like every form evaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar
– Nanking Massacre
– Female Genital Mutilation
– Civil wars in Africa
– Atomic bombing of Japan
– Trans-Atlantic slave trade and modern human trafficking/modern day servitude
– White Terror/Taiwanese massacre
– China’s Cultural Revolution

Things like that. This is the super hyper short list, by the way. I already know I probably have listed some subjects that would have surefire blocked this book from ever being published in traditional routes – but I’m indie, so I do not have to care about that. All I have to worry about is trying to write a cohesive story that is hopefully entertaining and impactful.

By the way, this book series will not be wall-to-wall historical trauma. There will also be interesting and fun bits and silliness in the book – or else I would NOT want to write it. I just laid out that list above so you, the reader (and potential Ko-Fi donor ) would know what story your money would be going to. If it were some uwu or owo type story, I really wouldn’t present so much before it’s all written but some of these subject matters are probably upsetting to some and I do not feel like hearing any version of “I can’t believe I paid to support a story that has [whatever issue, pick any of the above] in it! I have been tricked! I have been hoodwinked! I have been bamboozled!” so here it is in black and white.

Yes, the content warning list is probably going to be bananas. Might as well be “Content Warning: World”

The thing is, is that these things happened. I can’t write a book about the world while ignoring the world itself. This isn’t The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue. As much as I would love to turn a blind eye to, well, darn near everything that doesn’t sound awesome, especially to people of color, that’s just not my style. BIPoC people exist. Queer people exist. QBIPoC exist most definitely (Hewwo!). And they experience things. A lot of history based novels are really White or talks in a White-comforting/purposely blind kind of way. And super straight. Very hetero, much hegemonic, many not-wow.

Mind you, Soaring isn’t going to be “automatically White people are bad, PoC are good” kind of book since that’s not exactly how prejudice works. It’s all about the choices a person makes, the systems that are built and how much a person works within (and thus supports, knowingly or unknowingly) that system – or chose to be a wrench in that cog. One thing my research has shown is how complex this all can be. I mean, just stuff about Japan and Korea alone can be taxing, for example. Because that would include things like Japanese imperialism and how it affected surrounding nations like Korea, Indonesia, China and Vietnam. Yes, Korea has ample beef with Japan for a lot of messed up things – but the nuking of Japan by the US was not done to help Korea out, it was a separate thing that just so happened to help out Korea get released from Japanese control. And that says nothing about the role Japan and US played to divide Korea into two. And it also says nothing about all that happened in Vietnam thanks to Korean, American, Japanese, and Russian military issues and atrocities. And this is just one micro thing of focus in the book. Complex af, in other words.

My cute cat gif collection is A-1, by the way. It has to, I had to research all of this. And there were pictures and footage.

My characters are pretty much the span of that spectrum of choices, borne from the worlds they come from – but they’re also still people. That means they’ll have good times, bad times, and in between. Fall in love, have families, get married (this includes the queer folks also), just living lives but also dealing with the push and pulls of their nations and the rules and governments that all comes with.

Ooh! And here’s also a part that I have been thinking of saying for the longest time about this work:

I’m a Black American, queer, non-binary woman writer (I’ll get to that a little further down). This book is thus going to be written through the lens of a Black American, queer, female identity, even if I try to not do that. All books are written through the lens of the creator, plain and simple. This is no different. While I did the level best I could to bone up on my history and culture knowledge around the world, I’m not in the business of carrying water for other groups – something that seemingly is regularly expected out of Black people any and everywhere when any issue of oppression comes up. As if it is our job to march in the streets, be beaten by police, be oppressed and risk ourselves so the world can be a more equal place.

Nah, mayne. Not in the least. Carry your own water.

Black people aren’t “good at fighting for progress”, we do it simply because it’s the right thing to do. And others who are not Black can do it too. Yes, you might die a horrendous death that may be used as pointless news fodder for the 5 o’clock daily or viral shock footage in the process but that’s a risk to take. It isn’t ok to expect Black people to do it on your behalf. Period.

The point is, this is my story and while I’m going to try my best to tell it the best I can, there will be perspective and perhaps bias seeping in. For example, someone might be agitated that Falun Gong is getting mentioned (and a family of characters, and a storyline, and an arc). And that’s all well and fine, not everyone is going to like what I write, but I’m not going to blindly make it a propaganda piece going in either direction. People are people, plain and simple. If I have to sit through countless tomes and stories that spans centuries of fictional Black people being touted as speaker-pieces of Blackness when really they’re extremely harmful and viciously inaccurate anti-Black stereotypes created by White people and everyone who believed them all. Around. The World. as if law and utter gospel, y’all can sit through a Falun Gong character that just wants to be a regular guy that likes dance and music and helps out his grandmother while living in Australia as a Chinese-Australian family (that is not Half White or Any Parts White, just straight up Chinese diaspora living in Australia like anyone else) while trying to manage the fact he can shift and still time itself. Speaking as a Black person who has to literally consider shipping herself on the other side of the planet and isolate herself in an apartment for a quarter of a year in a different country just to avoid acts of anti-Blackness or prejudice that has been sown in the minds of others around the globe for decades and centuries (I have spoken to people in different countries that have never even met a Black person in their entire life but would come straight out the woodwork with really anti-Black behavior that they “have no idea how they learned it” when they spoke to me, a total stranger), this character I just described could have been handled and painted a lot worse. I have had to grow up with media that could and has gotten Black people murdered, beaten and lynched, rejected from jobs, banned from getting homes in decent places, called messed up names by total strangers and passerbys, and more. This all means that while I am not at all interested in carrying water for other groups, I’m still going to do my due diligence the best I can to not create harmful characters for the historically marginalized I do depict. Even when it might be a tightrope act. For example, my Israeli character, he’s historically marginalized in that he’s Jewish but I’m not going to erase my Palestinian character, who is also historically marginalized in part due to Israel (and the West). Intersection exists, y’all. That’s why I’ve been at this for roughly a decade by myself – so I can make people, not stereotypes.

By the way, you can also read books written by people of other different backgrounds. Think I’m going to fumble who knows what in Soaring? Good thing there’s a slew of diverse speculative fiction writers that exist, both indie and traditional. Read them. You should have been reading diversely before this anyways.

Let’s crack out the Wheel! Of! Power/Privilege!

Number scribbles and shading is mine.

Oh, the gorgeous colors! In the middle is where the privilege/power lives and further out is the marginalizations/other. I highlighted the parts I am, notice some do not stay neatly into pie slices.

Here’s where I am, I numbered them simply for ease of reference:

1. Post-Secondary: I indeed did go to college. It sucked but I went

2. Ability: I need glasses and, thanks to martial arts, a little body wear & tear but I’m not categorically physically disabled

3. Sexuality: I’m demisexual, which falls under the asexual spectrum. Woo.

4. Neuro-diversity: I have some but not a lot. At this point, I don’t even think I can even fake neuro-typical.

5. Mental Health: I have a laundry list of disorders but in that laundry list are two trauma disorders that are very good at making things quite precarious: C-PTSD & Dissociative Identity Disorder. I’m in treatment and have been for a while (hence why “mostly stable” is half shaded) but the US healthcare system is crap, double so for mental health, triple so if you’re not White and rich so that’s where the “vulnerable” comes in. My disorders can put me in a hospital but there’s very little promise I will get decent care there. And then there’s the fear from others about people with DID thanks to crappy media like Split, so their fear usually turns into me getting fired/treated poorly. My vulnerability comes from my disorder in part but particularly from others. Also, note I literally have DID and I write horror but my horror doesn’t use DID as a terror mechanism at all in any of my works? Keep that in mind the next time you read something written by someone who doesn’t have the disorder but still has a horror character with the disorder. It’s entirely doable, they just don’t want to do it or are really bad at being creative – or both. 

6. Body size: I’ve always had a body-ody-ody-ody, lol It’s a body, what do you expect? It holds organs and stuff.

7. Housing: I rent. I’m not even sure I want to own property, given how my grandparents and parents were pretty much duped and locked into really horrible neighborhoods thanks to red-lining, which started in my hometown, Baltimore, around 1910 … and is still very much around to this very day. I’ll probably AI a super White, Trump voter/Jan 6 type to do the digital face/voice finagling for me so I can get a decent place to live and reveal myself in the end, Tuxedo-mask style.

8. Wealth: I was raised poor and I’m still fairly there more often than not, the highest I’ve struck is lower middle class. Gotta love institutionalized poverty, structured prejudice and active disruptions to upward mobility.

9. Language: I’m a native English speaker. I can speak and understand 5+ languages (I’m lazy so I stopped counting after 5) but given how I’ve seen English pop up in some of the the most unlikeliest of places and how so many try to learn English to simply improve their lives (Hi, enforced Western Imperialism), it is unfortunately apparent that knowing English since birth is a leg-up in some ways in many parts of the world.

10. Gender: I already described myself earlier as a non-binary woman. If “non-binary woman” sounds like an oxymoron, it isn’t. Non-binary is a big spectrum and where I am on that spectrum: I simply think gender is a spectrum, not a binary. That’s it. I’m personally mildly attached to gender but I notice I lean fairly gender neutral. Demi-gender, in other words. So “non-binary woman” is apt and accurate here. Heck of a lot easier to say & type than “gender non-conforming woman”. That’s why I have both colored in. I’m not trans or intersex, just plain non-binary woman.

11. Citizenship: I’m a natural citizen of the nation I was born in, America. Thus, I am a regular, plain American citizen. (Any American who cares to disagree is more than free to go to IRS, tell them and pay all my taxes for me on top of theirs since they’re feeling so charitable and patriotic. Thx)

12. Skin colo[u]r: I’m Black. I’m medium brown shade (it’s winter) but I can become dark medium brown and darker, depending on how long I shove myself out into the sun. (Which I plan to do a lot in South Korea. I need sun. Lots of it. I’m at “wintery corpse pallor” here.)  

These are all that I am (as of this writing). Notice the intersections? That’s all playing their roles in ways I do and don’t know in the crafting of this book. I sure as heck am not a White guy so definitely don’t expect White Male Author bullsh#ttery. My book is not going to be the usual “If The Nazis Had Won” nonsense or “Don’t You Miss Owning People: The Sci-Fi Edition” that plagues a lot of alternate history works penned by them. I rather write something better and more humanizing.

This is long, I know, but I just want to make sure people know where I’m coming from as exact as possible. Given I am asking for money for this project, the fact it is a lot of money, and the subjects this project will cover, I rather make sure people know something of what I’m doing and not just simply say “Just go with me on this. Trust the viiiiiiibbbeeezzzz” and stick my hand out expecting a dollar.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I’m raising money because I don’t want some random government or group to go, “She’s a spy/agent/[whatever the f#ck they’ll come up with] for America/[random enemy I probably have never heard of].” It sounds grandiose but in my research, if there’s one thing I have noticed, some nation leaders need to find different jobs or get thicker skin when it comes to criticism. I’m ripping on my own country’s leaders (remember, I’m a Black American writer so don’t expect a lot of ‘America Rockz, Heck Yeah!’ Don’t expect any, actually), but other nations will cry a river and an ocean as they try to retrofit whatever I write to whatever they want to pump out. Even though I’m small, I’ve seen it happen, just from looking at their histories both recent and distant. A good example is The Satanic Verses by British-Iranian author Salman Rushdie. Published in 1988 and you might have never heard this of book before – but whoo wow, the Iranian government has had a tizzy about this book. And Rushdie still has to look over his shoulder about the book, he was recently stabbed on stage in New York over it. I doubt I’ll have the same experience but, most sincerely, you never know ¯\(°_o)/¯

Speaking of countries, why I’ll be in Korea and what I plan to be doing there. I wrote about it a bit in a previous post:

I’m going to South Korea because it’s a relatively quiet country in comparison to America and, hey, I’ve never been outside the nation before but still know 5+ languages, Korean included. I can lazy-read Korean, thankfully. And I have two friends there who I plan to live near so I have someone in the country to run to should things go very lop-sided.

Given the subject matter of the book, I kinda do not want to be in the US because I think a change of scenery would be a big help. And given I am writing a book with an international cast (of over 200, dear gods ;_;), I might as well be somewhere different in the world. It would be a step up from all the walking around travel channels and VR experiences (For example, I have the Swedish Parliament VR experience because I have Swedish characters and before Soaring, the most I knew about Sweden was Swedish Fish and Blindside, an amazing Swedish band. And I also need to kinda see how their governmental halls look). These channels and VR interactives are wildly helpful in immense ways when it comes to building visuals and settings but I just would rather go somewhere. Not exactly great to just experience the world through a screen. Or even remotely healthy, I imagine.  

As I said in the previous post on Soaring, I don’t plan on making it a Super Happy K-Pop Trip. Actually, I plan on staying in an apartment where I’m just going to write the same way I do here in America: isolated in my room with my fountain pen, and some ink for 14-18 hours every single day until the story is done. I’m taking 3-5 day breaks in between books to rejuvenate my hand and brain but that’s probably it.

I have 5 handbound journals for Soaring, roughly almost a 1000 narrow-lined pages altogether. Once a book is finished (the series may be 4-5 books), I do indeed plan on being out and about because I am, after all, in a foreign nation that I am relatively literate in for the first time in my life. And what shall I do? Go to the supermarket and avoid all tourist traps as much as possible. I will do some scenic sight seeing, of course, d’accord, but I mainly will be taking a break for my hand since I handwrite my books. I know my friends plan to kidnap me and force me to have fun against my own will – partly because my birthday (July 2) falls during this 3 month trip – but for the most part, I plan to stay indoors and write. I’m not much of a party person, which is a good thing. It’s not a common occurrence that I get to travel outside the nation, even just to write a book so I am planning to just write as much as I can.

Sounds easy? I wish. This means it will be 3 months that I won’t be working – I’m in libraries, a field that does not pay a lot – and that means risking job security because jobs that allow sabbaticals mainly exist in Europe, not America. This is the USA, they expect you to basically work to death. They want you to miss holidays and personal life events or you walk the employment plank but they also want to pay you so little that you have very little options. They want you to respect them like deities but they don’t even respect you enough to pay you fairly or well. I genuinely have no idea where the rest of the world got the idea that the streets are paved in gold here in the US. It’s a big risk but I really don’t have much option outside of “Don’t ever write this book, don’t ever leave the US for longer than a week, don’t do anything but work for the rest of your life for a job where you can wake up fired and they expect you to care more about them than they will ever about you.” That’s a messed up situation, plain and simple. I do plan to apply to grants that could help but those grants are pretty darn small. I’m not exactly living in a system that has ample rooms of padding for Black folks who were raised poor in America or I probably would have been in and out of the nation several times by now. My sister’s got to travel out the country and so did my mom but that’s because my sister joined the US military and my grandfather was part of the US military when my mom was a child – soooooooooooooooo, basically, be part of the US Military. I’m anti-war, thus that’s a solid hell no. It’s really disturbing that the only opportunity my immediate family (outside of my dad, who is from a different country) had to travel outside the US is to carry a gun onto someone else’s lands because how else were you going to get a job or go to college while Black and poor? I just want to write a book series, not break my values for a nation that doesn’t even value me.  

On top of that, I have disorders to worry about. Korea is not known for great mental health care. The disorder I mostly concern myself with is my Dissociative Identity Disorder. I rather isolate myself and focus on my work instead of run into any potential risks about my disorder, ableism, anti-Black flavored ableism or xenophobic-flavored ableism. My two friends know about my disorder and one has a background in psychology and that’s enough for me. I’m currently trying to get as much trauma treatment as I can now so I can go several months without it while in Korea – there’s no pill to fix DID, only intense trauma therapy – I’m not that interested in interacting with anyone in Korea that I did not already personally know before I came to the country because I do not feel like having anything or anyone throw me off my game, writing-wise. I’m not a walking life lesson, this is not the K-Drama “Heal Me Kill Me”. * I just want to be left alone and do my work. South Korea is super low trigger area for me and fairly calm from what I have seen and heard so far – way better than America. That’s a selling point to me.

I pretty much just want to be in a place to focus on my work that is low stress for me.

I plan to use AirBnB to pre-pay an apartment so when I am there, I do not have to worry about finances when I am there. That and airfare is also what I would like the funding to go to since those are the two priciest parts of the trip. With that, I can focus my finances to pay for rent and bills for my place back here in America. My most constant haunt I plan to be is at a supermarket if I have to go somewhere in S. Korea. A 24/7 sauna if I really need to decompress between books.

And that’s that for the Caveat Emptor! It’s long, I know but again, I’m asking for a lot so that means it’s important that I’m as thorough as possible. Especially since I’m going to be on radio silence for the most part while I’m in S. Korea. Just like any work I write, I’m on full do-not-disturb. Aside for emergencies and the between-book break, I’m very disconnected from the world.

Wait o’ sec! When will Soaring come out? If I all goes to plan, during the 2030s, maybe 2035 but not sure. It’s a big project so I’m not trying to rush it. The game plan is to have the entire work of Soaring to be written and transcribed into typed form by the time I’m back in America. After the work is transcribed, I usually do hand edits, which this work will probably need a couple pass throughs minimum. I explain my basic work cycle here. Plus, I have other works that are coming out between 2025 and 2035, depending on schedule. Since I’m indie, I have to pace things so I don’t burn myself or my pockets out. And this doesn’t even include the audiobook version, which I do hope to have multiple actors for. I’m indie, remember, all that requires time, money and due diligence. More money means it will be done faster but not overnight.

Noooooow, this is the actual end of the Caveat Emptor! Thanks for reading and I hope you will donate.

** “Heal Me Kill Me” was inaccurate af, by the way. The rich guy with DID would have gone to Sheppard Pratt’s trauma disorder program, not John Hopkins, where they do not believe DID even exists. And he would have had a terrible time, Sheppard Pratt trauma staff cannot understand Korean and that would have been the least of that guy’s concern. Trust me, I worked at Hopkins – and that’s a story and a half of its own – and went to Sheppard Pratt’s trauma disorder program for DID treatment.

2023: Year of the Ink Sample

This past year was The Year of the Ink Sample. I tried to dial back ink buying because I do not need to Buy All The Pretty Colors. My ink box, the box I have to hold all my ink bottles, samples and pen case, is full and overflowing. Mind you, the box is about almost half a shoe box so not mega big but still, it holds stuff in my writing drawer.

I mainly needed samples for works that I don’t want a bunch of ink for, especially since I already have the amount & usage mathed out already. One 3ml vial of ink is basically 60 pages (a signature for my journals since I handbind my journals) in my journals, my average handwritten work is about 2-3 signatures. One work in particular is The Golden Boys, which I plan to have the work written with golden colored non-shimmer (I creys ;_;) ink. The average bottle of ink is about 20-50 ml ink. That’s too much ink for only one planned work. Samples let me try different inks and if I hate it, at least I’m not staring at an entire bottle of it. Plus, some of the inks looked nice but the bottles didn’t so there is also that. With The Golden Boys, a planned novel of about 180 hand-bound journal pages total, I have about 3 golden hued inks and a fourth ink that is scented and golden colored. That’s about all I need.

The other ink samples I have are black inks, mainly because I only use black for my Herbin ballpoint pen. I don’t fill out forms and jot notes at the same length or rate as I write my books so I don’t need whole bottles of black ink. Plus, I get to try different black inks that I may or may not like.

Basically, I mainly use samples for inks that I simply don’t want to use a lot of. And to trim down bottle purchasing. Doesn’t mean I won’t buy more bottles but it does mean I’m fairly past my Buy All The Inkz kick. I already have probably more than enough to write everything currently in my head but that amount is always changing since I always have new ideas I club together. But currently, I have a half-shoebox full of ink.

Donated Books for “The People of Gaza” Silent Auction

I’ll be donating my books to an event held in Chicago called “The People for Gaza”, a silent auction to raise funds to donate to Pious Projects a charity that fuels humanitarian aid for Palestine, as well as other affected areas.

For those who don’t exactly understand what’s going on over on the West Bank, here’s an animated video explaining it all in quick, succinct, easy-to-understand detail roughly 6 and a half minutes long. Made 11 years ago during the previous conflict (needless to say, it’s a constantly reoccurring problem) but still very apt today.

As it pertains to how I feel on the whole matter: the Israeli government has got to get its head out of its rear and stop shoving Palestinians off their land. Seeking shelter from one atrocity doesn’t give just cause to commit atrocities to someone else, plain and simple. Not every Palestinian is Hamas and not every Jewish person is thrilled with hearing a government enact warfare in the name of religion. Plus, Hamas wouldn’t exist if there was more equal & humane respect from the Israelis to the Palestinians. Jewish people lived in Palestine prior, anyways, so peace is wholly possible. Respecting Palestine isn’t going to leave Jewish people vulnerable and without land & country – but bombing Gaza and the West Bank into slick spots leaves plenty without land and, well, anything.

Also, while it is completely possible to disagree with the Israeli government, make sure that doesn’t somehow slip into anti-semitism. The Palestinians aren’t getting bombed because “Jewish r teh evilz”, it’s a government that running under the guise of saying “We’re doing this on the behalf of our religion”. Governments, though they would like to be, are not religions. Also, there are plenty of Jewish people who are against what’s happening to Palestine. For example, the video above actually came from Jewish Voice for Peace, and they perfectly expressed the heart of the issue.